0:00:02 > 0:00:03- How's it going? - Er, well, it...
0:00:03 > 0:00:07- OK?- Yeah. We're doing really well now. It's been a long journey.
0:00:07 > 0:00:092013, it all started.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12I just popped out to see my father in hospital, came back
0:00:12 > 0:00:15and Robin was on the floor in the...in the bathroom.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Were you? Do you remember it?
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Ah, well...well...
0:00:20 > 0:00:22It looks like a war wound, doesn't it?
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Ah.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26You don't mind, do you? You're proud of it.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28'For several months,
0:00:28 > 0:00:32'I'd been spending my days getting to know people with brain injuries.'
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Louis!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35How are you doing, Dan?
0:00:36 > 0:00:40'The most precious part of our human anatomy is also
0:00:40 > 0:00:43'one of the most mysterious and damage to it can lead to
0:00:43 > 0:00:46'unpredictable changes of ability and behaviour.'
0:00:46 > 0:00:51This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54'I'd been curious to get inside the experience of people whose
0:00:54 > 0:00:57'bodies and minds have been radically altered.'
0:00:57 > 0:01:01As far as you are aware, you feel you're the same person.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03- Yes.- Rob, is that your perspective as well?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05No.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09'Trying to find their place in lives that no longer seem their own.'
0:01:10 > 0:01:12You feel you don't really need to be here?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14I don't. I want my independence.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21'And reconnecting in relationships in which everything has changed.'
0:01:34 > 0:01:37'At Daniel Yorath House, a brain injury unit near Leeds,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39'I was meeting Earl Linton.'
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Hi, Earl. Louis. How are you?
0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Fine, thanks. Yeah, pleased to meet you.- Yeah, pleased to meet you.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48'Two years earlier, Earl had been involved in a fatal car crash
0:01:48 > 0:01:52'in which he'd sustained a serious head injury.'
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Oh, so this is your spot?
0:01:54 > 0:01:55This is my spot just over here.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59'Charged with death by dangerous driving but unfit to stand trial,
0:01:59 > 0:02:01'he'd been given a supervision order
0:02:01 > 0:02:03'overseen by the unit.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06'With us for our chat was Dr Yasmin Precious
0:02:06 > 0:02:08'and Earl's mum, Patricia.'
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Can we look at some of the things that are important to you
0:02:10 > 0:02:11in this room?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Yeah. Awesome Arsenal scarf.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Arsenal are going to win the title this year.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Did you support Arsenal before the brain injury?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- Yeah. - That hasn't changed?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Yeah, I love football. Erm, I got...
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Show me some of your clothes.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I don't really bring my expensive clothes down here
0:02:27 > 0:02:29because all I do is lounge about.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Earl just wants all expensive stuff now. Before, he wasn't bothered.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36But now he just wants all named brand clothes and...
0:02:36 > 0:02:37What are these?
0:02:37 > 0:02:38EARL LAUGHS
0:02:38 > 0:02:39This is mouthwash.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41But he brushes his teeth three times as well.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44He goes in the shower. He'll brush his teeth in the shower.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46He goes in the bath, he gets out of the bath...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I've got a lot of OCD.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50..all in the same time, and brushes his teeth
0:02:50 > 0:02:53and at home he has to have two different toothpastes, if not three.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56He does things in threes and fives for some reason.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59So how did you come to be in a brain injury unit?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Erm, well, what it was, in 2013,
0:03:02 > 0:03:08erm, I suffered a severe brain injury in a road traffic accident.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13I had to learn how to walk again, talk again, eat again.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15How long were you in hospital for?
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Erm, I can't really remember. I think you know, Mum, don't you?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Yes, he was in hospital for a month.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24They transferred him into the community,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28to a neuro rehabilitation out day patients', where he was going...
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Start again, you got that totally wrong.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Erm, Earl came home for a short period of time from
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Northern General Hospital and then he had to go back
0:03:37 > 0:03:39into a rehabilitation unit
0:03:39 > 0:03:42for another month and then he came back home to be...
0:03:42 > 0:03:46No, you've got it totally wrong again, you're really annoying me.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Please say it yourself.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Just say, Earl was taken home against the doctor's wishes.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52No, I'm not going to say that again.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54You know what, here's what we... Let's focus on...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57But she's saying a month, yeah? I was there for six months, yeah?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- He wasn't.- In which one?
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- I was at Osbourne Building for six months, yeah...- You wasn't.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Why are you lying?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Hold on, guys, let me just... Can I just...
0:04:06 > 0:04:10I was in Osbourne Building for six months, I left in April 2014.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Nah, nah, nah. I was there for six months, Osbourne Building and...
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Six weeks. - And neuro rehabilitation...
0:04:17 > 0:04:18You did six weeks.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Er, I was on Osbourne Ward but they couldn't do anything for me
0:04:21 > 0:04:25because all my physical injuries, like broken bones, was healed.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Then he came home and he was just chucking
0:04:28 > 0:04:31things around the house, verbally abusive, kicking the doors.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34So in a way, it sounds like after you'd got better physically,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37there were these other things,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40erm, to do with your behaviour and the way your brain was working...
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Yeah.- ..that were still problems. Is that right?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- Yeah.- He's very enthusiastic... - HE PLAYS MUSIC
0:04:44 > 0:04:48..but when he comes round to doing it, his mind will go wandering.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51This is what he does and this is what he does at home.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56# My bitch, I buy her Jimmy Choos Damn... #
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Earl never used to listen to this music before, as well.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Earl has come back a completely different person.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06She'll go, "Why you listening to that music? You're not a fool.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09"You're not like that, this isn't your life, you don't live that life.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12"Stop listening to this, people selling drugs and using guns.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14"That's not you so why you listening to it?"
0:05:14 > 0:05:17He never... He wasn't into anything like that before, Earl.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20You said he came back from the injury...
0:05:20 > 0:05:21I've got a different son.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22He looks like my son,
0:05:22 > 0:05:25that's Earl, but he's got a different soul inside him.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28He's a different person. That's...
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- TEARFULLY:- He's not Earl, he is Earl but he's not.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- I'm sorry.- It's OK.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39I'm still alive.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42I know you are. You're just a different person.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44I can't help it, I'm sorry.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Daniel Yorath House is part of a network of similar
0:06:05 > 0:06:11units around Britain, run by the Brain Injury Rehabilitation Trust.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13They have the delicate job of housing
0:06:13 > 0:06:17and supporting people with serious brain injuries, as they relearn
0:06:17 > 0:06:19skills and rediscover who they are.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25The effects of brain injury can be profound
0:06:25 > 0:06:29and sometimes include impulsiveness and even changes in personality.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Do you remember that, Paul? I'll show you first, yeah?
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Friends and family may need to work out new relationships
0:06:37 > 0:06:40while their loved one has to do the rehab necessary to
0:06:40 > 0:06:41get their life back on track.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43You're nearly there.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48'At Redford Court, a unit in Liverpool,
0:06:48 > 0:06:50'I was with Dr Ivan Pitman.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52'We were about to see Dan Park.'
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Dan, Hi. Are we OK to come in? - Yeah.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Louis.- Hello, Louis, nice to meet you, my name is Daniel.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03'Dan's family was nearly 200 miles away in London
0:07:03 > 0:07:05'and so his goal was to live independently.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08'But he'd just moved back into the main unit, following some
0:07:08 > 0:07:10'issues with his behaviour.'
0:07:10 > 0:07:12One of the things we've been talking about at the moment with
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- Dan is, we've just scaled things back a bit, didn't we?- Yeah.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16We just kind of, erm,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19limited Dan's kind of access off the unit without staff.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Yeah.- So what are the kind of things that I'm really interested in you
0:07:22 > 0:07:24working on when you're going out?
0:07:25 > 0:07:31Can you think? I suppose, sometimes I worry that you're over friendly.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Yeah, I'll talk to anyone. - Yeah!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- You go up to strangers? - Not up to them.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37If we're in a queue or something, I'll tap them on the shoulder
0:07:37 > 0:07:40and say, "They're taking their time, ain't they?"
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Then I'd start a conversation. - Dan's got a great sense of humour.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Humour is important, isn't it? - Absolutely.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- But sometimes, again, and this is just...- But I take it too far.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Do you?- Yes.- Yeah.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Give me an example.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54One year when, like the team senior was downstairs, yeah, and
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I pulled the two psychologists, yeah, to the side, and I just said
0:07:57 > 0:08:00to 'em, like, "Oh, you know, I've had enough of this and everything,"
0:08:00 > 0:08:04and I pulled a joke knife out of me pocket and I went like this, yeah,
0:08:04 > 0:08:06and I told one of 'em what I was going to do, yeah,
0:08:06 > 0:08:08and she was laughing, yeah!
0:08:08 > 0:08:10And then the one that never knew anything, she jumped, yeah?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13And as I turned round, Maggie come up to me and went, "Dan, that
0:08:13 > 0:08:16"was totally inappropriate, I'm going to tell Bella,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19"I'm going to tell Ivan." Apparently Ivan heard about it and laughed!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Well, I was surprised... I was surprised at people being, er,
0:08:22 > 0:08:25startled by it because it's a good practical joke, isn't it?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28But from Maggie's prospective, she thought you'd really hurt yourself.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30If you thought Dan was stabbing himself in the chest
0:08:30 > 0:08:33for real and you were in charge of taking care of him,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- it wouldn't feel funny at the time. - No, that's the difference. - It would be frightening.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I said, "Jenny, I've just found this brick on the stairs.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"I think the building's falling apart.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43"Here you go." And I threw it, yeah!
0:08:43 > 0:08:46She was like, "No!" and it was a polystyrene brick!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- So she might have thought it was a real brick.- Yeah.- That's right.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54And then you would think you were about to get hurt, wouldn't you?
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Yeah.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57It was funny, though, I mean...
0:08:57 > 0:08:58We kind of know you well, don't we?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00So we, in a sense, know that you're...
0:09:00 > 0:09:02you've got lots of strengths.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05The thing that sometimes trips you up, that's inhibition, isn't it?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Then that's where your injury in your brain is.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09You know, the front part of the brain is the part that
0:09:09 > 0:09:11kind of stops us from doing things.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13So you had a head injury, is that right?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Yeah. - How long ago was that?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17It was when I was 14 in '98, yeah,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20and, erm, I got rushed to hospital after I got hit by a Transit van.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- Mm.- A Transit van?- Yeah.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I spent about a year...just over a year in a coma and then
0:09:25 > 0:09:27when I woke up, yeah, one of the nurses told me
0:09:27 > 0:09:30I'd lost just over a quarter of my brain.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31Really?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I mean, would the ultimate goal be for you to go out
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- and live on your own, do you think? - Yeah, but I like...
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hang on.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Because the thing we have to remember, isn't it, is that,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43whilst we've got to be careful that you, you know,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45we talk about living independent,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48that starts feeling really nice and a great idea, but I'm thinking
0:09:48 > 0:09:52that Dan actually would do really well in a little communal setting,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54maybe a shared house with a few other people,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57with staff being present. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. OK.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12For most of those in rehab, the ultimate aim is to move
0:10:12 > 0:10:15back into the outside world full time.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18It's an enormous step, combining the physical challenges
0:10:18 > 0:10:22of everyday life, with the emotional ones of being amidst family again.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27In Cornwall, I was about to meet Rob Barnard.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Hi, Rob. - Good morning, how you doing?
0:10:29 > 0:10:30- I'm Louis, how you doing? - Yeah, good.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35'After two years of residential rehab, Rob's wife Amanda had re-joined
0:10:35 > 0:10:39'the family three days earlier, in a new house equipped with an annexe.'
0:10:40 > 0:10:43So this is your new house?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Yes. This is all, yeah, the main bit. We have, erm...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48And you've been here for how long?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Er, two weeks this weekend. - Two weeks?
0:10:50 > 0:10:52- Yeah. - And who's down here? All right?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54So this is, er, Oscar.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56How you doing? How old are you, Oscar?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Six.- Six.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Six?
0:10:59 > 0:11:00So this is Ollie.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Hello. - Hi, Ollie. Louis.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04OK.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Nice to meet you. How are you doing?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08- It's nice to meet you. Good. - Everything good?
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Yeah. - What were you playing just then?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Er, I was watching YouTube.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- Was it Stampy?- Yes.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16How do you know?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Was it Stampylongnose? Was it?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Yeah.- See you later. Nice to meet you, Ollie.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24So this is Amanda's sitting room.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- OK. - And at the minute,
0:11:26 > 0:11:30where Mandy's support worker stays overnight.
0:11:30 > 0:11:35Bedroom. Amanda's kitchen. Whether she uses it or not, I don't know.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37She hasn't yet, so it's fine.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39There is a lock on there, that was one of Amanda's stipulations,
0:11:39 > 0:11:41that she wanted the door locked.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42She wanted a lock on the door?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Yes. Yeah.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46What was that about?
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Er, perhaps a bit of privacy, I think, you know,
0:11:49 > 0:11:53she's been in...an institution for such a long time.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54I think for her to come home
0:11:54 > 0:11:57and have just a bit of independence, to be honest.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01'Amanda had been a veterinary nurse before falling from a horse
0:12:01 > 0:12:03'two years earlier.'
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Here she is.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09We've been going on a little tour of...
0:12:09 > 0:12:10Magical mystery tour?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13It was a... It was magical. That's Amanda, is it?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's Amanda in...
0:12:17 > 0:12:18- Is that Amanda?- Yeah.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20What was that for?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- ABBA Night.- Oh, yeah.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24And where are you, Rob?
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Er, there.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28So that's you. And, Rob, what kind of work do you do?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- I'm a marine engineer. - A marine engineer?
0:12:31 > 0:12:32- Mm.- What does that mean?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Attempting to fix people's boats.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35OK.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39So on Wednesday you came back from the unit.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Yes.- You're in this new place, this new house that you've bought
0:12:42 > 0:12:45specifically to cater to the needs that you now have.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48How are you liking being back so far?
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Yeah, it's good. I like it.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51- All right?- Mm-hmm.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- I mean, we went on a little walk around...- Mm-hmm.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56..and Rob had said that you were very clear
0:12:56 > 0:12:59that you wanted your own space.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Yes. Mm-hmm.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06Now, before the injury you would have shared a bed, I'm sure,
0:13:06 > 0:13:10and, erm, not had your own little bit of the house...
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- Yeah. - So what's changed for you?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I don't know, really.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20Erm, the other house that we moved from, to come here,
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I used to stay in the spare room and it worked,
0:13:22 > 0:13:26it's much easier than sharing a bed with somebody who smells.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29- Who's that?- Him.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Come on.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32You can't smell.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I can't any more but I know you do smell.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35ROB LAUGHS
0:13:35 > 0:13:40You grovel around in the bottom of a fishing boat in guts and wee and...
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Eugh! And you come home and you don't shower.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- I do!- You don't.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- I do.- He doesn't.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49And Rob had mentioned that you were quite keen
0:13:49 > 0:13:50even for a lock on the door.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51- Yes.- Is that right?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Mm-hmm. - What was that about?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56When I want to be by myself, I can make sure nobody just keeps
0:13:56 > 0:13:58coming in, especially with kids.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00It's not that I don't want to see them
0:14:00 > 0:14:03but there are times that I want to be by myself.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06And as I understand it...to begin with, you were saying that
0:14:06 > 0:14:10- you'd like to come out to your own house...- Yes.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12..and not even be IN the family home.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13- Yes.- Is that right?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Mm-hmm.- Why was that?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Erm, I don't know, I just thought I'd be better on my own.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Me and my dogs and my cats.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Amanda having her own house isn't doable.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25She would need a 24/7 carer.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Now, it's cheaper for Amanda to go to a care home.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34That's a 38-year-old going into a care home. No way. That's just...
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I wouldn't have minded.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40No, sadly.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44As far as you are aware, you feel you're the same person...
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- Yes.- ..and you've got some physical things that you need to work on.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Yes.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52But, erm, there haven't been, sort of, in your own sense of things,
0:14:52 > 0:14:57kind of personality changes or even brain damage, if you like?
0:14:57 > 0:14:58- Mm.- Is that how you...?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- That's how I feel. - Is that how you feel about it?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Mm-hmm.- Rob, is that your perspective as well?
0:15:03 > 0:15:07No. No, I mean, Amanda's still Amanda, of course.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09And there's still lots of Amanda,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12I'll say the old Amanda, it's not the right word to use
0:15:12 > 0:15:16but there's definite changes, you know, without a doubt.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Especially the emotional side of it, I find that quite hard.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Your emotions are quite flat
0:15:22 > 0:15:26and I do notice that things annoy you more.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I mean, you've always said that you've lost your squishy side.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Mm-hmm.- At the risk of asking you an intrusive question.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- So you've been together 22 years... - Mm-hmm.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36That's a long relationship.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37- Yes.- Were you happy together?
0:15:37 > 0:15:43- Yes.- Very. Yeah. A good team. Best buddies, it was good.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Yeah, it was good and it still is good,
0:15:46 > 0:15:48just different, for the time being.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50We'll get there.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54That's the plan.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Mm.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Yeah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Stop tapping!
0:16:00 > 0:16:01I know, I'm drumming constantly.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Stop it.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07So, this is all her stuff from the unit?
0:16:07 > 0:16:08It is, yeah. Yeah.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- Clothes, a coat.- Shoes, trainers.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Pictures!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Amanda, can I see that picture? That's nice, isn't it?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23It's me and Mummy.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25It's only been since Wednesday
0:16:25 > 0:16:27but is it nice having Mummy back living with you?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Yeah.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- It's quite a big change, isn't it? - Yeah.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Give me a kiss.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35- Properly.- Nah!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Yes.- Oh!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39That's too quick, and rubbish.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Never mind.- I mind.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Where's Daddy?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Yeah, we'll go this way around. - Yeah, you know the way, do you?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Yeah. - 'At Redford Court, I was with Dan
0:17:04 > 0:17:07'and his assistant psychologist, Alice Little.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10'We were on a therapeutic outing to a local cafe.'
0:17:10 > 0:17:13So what's the plan? Just to get coffee?
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Er, coffee, breakfast.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18And then, Alice, you're here to sort of offer feedback or...?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20- Yep.- What's the idea? What are we looking for?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- The idea is, Dan has such a lovable, likeable personality...- Yeah.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25..which we absolutely love about him.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28But I think it's fair to say, Dan, that sometimes you can be
0:17:28 > 0:17:29- a little bit over the top... - Yeah.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32..with your jokes. Erm, and it sometimes might put him
0:17:32 > 0:17:34in a bit of an awkward situation with the public.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37So what we do is, we take Dan out, we let him do his thing
0:17:37 > 0:17:39and just offer a little bit of feedback.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41They criticise me when I get back and...
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Hey! Criticise is the wrong word.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46- Ah, sorry.- Advice.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Positive feedback. - Positive feedback, thank you.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Can I have an omelette with salad and hummus
0:17:56 > 0:17:59and a large hot chocolate, please?
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Thank you.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Thank you.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07What strikes me about you is that you're...you seem very well
0:18:07 > 0:18:09equipped to deal with the wider world.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11So I'm wondering what it is that's stopping
0:18:11 > 0:18:15you in the outside... Well, from being there, basically.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Just like... It's loneliness, really. I mean, I've found...
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Well, there's lots of lonely people who don't get to
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- kind of move into Redford Court. - Yeah.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26What do you... What you do see it as, Alice? I'm not quite getting it.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Erm, cos Dan was originally in the main unit, and then...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- At Redford Court?- At Redford Court, in the main building,
0:18:31 > 0:18:34and then he moved into a self-contained flat.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Cos he had unescorted community access,
0:18:36 > 0:18:39so he was able to go off into the community
0:18:39 > 0:18:43whenever he wanted which is now what we're aiming to reintroduce for Dan.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45And you got involved with the wrong sort of people
0:18:45 > 0:18:48and it led to a bit of... a bit of drugs.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52- Yeah.- You did, Dan? Got involved with the wrong people?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53What were they like?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56They were nice.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02One of them was a girl I started to see, yeah?
0:19:02 > 0:19:06And two weeks into the relationship, I noticed that she was smoking
0:19:06 > 0:19:08and selling it, like weed and stuff, yeah?
0:19:08 > 0:19:11And then I just started smoking after a couple of months
0:19:11 > 0:19:14of knowing this woman and I started buying off her and then, like,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17she had two kids so I gave them my Xbox and things like that.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21Do you remember your life before the accident quite clearly?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Yeah, I used to do boxing and I used to like running.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26You liked running? Were you good at school?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28No, no, I was always bunking.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30- Bunking off?- Yeah.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33I got moved to prison when I was about 18 and a half.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34What for?
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Erm, robbery, nicking bags and nicking mobile phones, shoplifting.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41And you were in a coma for a year and a half, you came out,
0:19:41 > 0:19:45you had disabilities associated with the brain injury,
0:19:45 > 0:19:48erm, and then you went into nicking bags?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- How did that happen?- Crack.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Some guy introduced it to me one night in a hotel
0:19:57 > 0:20:01and it was nice so I started spending all my money on that,
0:20:01 > 0:20:04and when I first went to prison, I was about 18 and a half, yeah?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I weighed four and a half stone.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08You weighed four and a half stone?
0:20:08 > 0:20:09- Yeah.- When you were 18?
0:20:09 > 0:20:10Yeah.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Yeah, it's not the life I want to live, like.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Higher or lower than a queen? Higher or lower?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41'Back on the unit and my plan was to start settling into the daily
0:20:41 > 0:20:43'life of rehab.'
0:20:43 > 0:20:44THEY SHOUT OUT
0:20:44 > 0:20:47It's a two!
0:20:47 > 0:20:50'Most of the residents were there because of car crashes,
0:20:50 > 0:20:55'falls, strokes and aneurysms and had a broad spectrum of abilities.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01'I was curious to meet someone who'd been there for many years and who
0:21:01 > 0:21:05'depended on round-the-clock support in order to perform daily tasks.'
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Hello.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Hello. You must be nice to me, otherwise I cry!
0:21:10 > 0:21:12You know me too well!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17'15 years into her rehab, with eight of them
0:21:17 > 0:21:21'at Redford Court, Natalie Smith is one of the unit's veterans.'
0:21:23 > 0:21:24How are you? I'm Louis.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Hello, Louis.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Nice to meet you.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Oh, that's nice.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32You got a kiss. You have to get a kiss when you come to this house.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Very nice.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'm Welsh, you see...
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Shall we go in?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43So we're making a documentary...
0:21:43 > 0:21:47About people's rooms or what people say, what they do...?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49About recovery from head injury.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Oh, a movie, oh! I'm doing a movie.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Which... I think you had a head injury, is that right?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Oh, God, yes, and it's terrible
0:21:56 > 0:21:59but I don't give a monkey's, I just get on with life and enjoy it.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Mm. - To that extent of enjoyment.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Mm, do you remember what was... what was the nature of the injury?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Well, I fell, didn't I? I fell...somewhere.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09SHE MUMBLES
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You can't remember?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14No.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Is there anything you wanted to show me
0:22:16 > 0:22:19in the room that is special to you?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Doing my old paintings. That.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Let's see that. What's going on there?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27You look like you're welding.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Yeah.- Making an artwork. Are you an artist?
0:22:31 > 0:22:32I'm a piss artist!
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- Come on.- But you know what I mean?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- That shows some artistic talent, that does.- Yeah, that's...
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Did you study art? Did you study art?
0:22:41 > 0:22:44I studied art, yeah, an art degree, I've got an art degree.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47You know, I've just seen, up on the poster, it says "My Goals" and
0:22:47 > 0:22:50"My Recommendations". Would we be allowed to look at the...?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Oh, of course you can! Come on.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Let's go over there, then.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57"My Goals" says, "I want to leave Redford Court
0:22:57 > 0:22:59"and live with my mum, to help her."
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- Yeah, my mum.- So one of your goals is actually to leave here.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04To leave, of course, yeah.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- To move on. - And move on. I'd like to do that.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08- Sue, did you hear that? - Yes, yeah.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11So that is a goal. That's a therapeutic goal that is being worked...
0:23:11 > 0:23:14That would be a goal but it wouldn't be actual for Natalie,
0:23:14 > 0:23:16to move back home to her mum.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19It's unrealistic, really, that goal,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22although she would maybe in her, you know, her feelings.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27"We recognise that Ms Smith has a number of inappropriate behaviours."
0:23:27 > 0:23:29I fart a lot!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- But I think we all do that. - Everyone does that.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- I know.- "Including verbal, gestural and physical behaviours."
0:23:36 > 0:23:41I do muck around. I like this gentleman here...
0:23:42 > 0:23:44We've lost her.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Definitely. A nice-looking man, you see.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Where...
0:23:51 > 0:23:53SHE MUTTERS
0:23:54 > 0:23:58I can't be rude to people. I don't think that's right, myself.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Don't be rude to people, yeah.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Yeah, I...verbally be... inappropriate.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Verbally inappropriate, things like that.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Which is what?
0:24:08 > 0:24:12I know exactly what that is, love, and you do as well.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13THEY LAUGH
0:24:13 > 0:24:17It is. Shake my hand, you little chunky monkey, cheeky monkey.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21See you later. Lovely to see you.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22- Bye, love, bye.- Bye, gorgeous.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Bye. Ah, "Bye, gorgeous."
0:24:25 > 0:24:28'Natalie and her family had given permission for Sue,
0:24:28 > 0:24:32'her support worker, to disclose more about Natalie and her injury.'
0:24:32 > 0:24:34There's so much warmth there, isn't there?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- Ah, she's just full of love and warmth for...- Yeah.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40..others. She really is. She's very, very caring.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43I suppose the scary point is, one could imagine
0:24:43 > 0:24:46out in the community, unscrupulous people...
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- Of course, yeah. - ..could take advantage of her.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51She'd be too vulnerable to live out in the community.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56She's dependent on support 24/7.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59She said she had a brain injury of some kind.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- Yeah.- Did she say she had a knock on the head or something?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Yes, that's what Natalie says.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Yeah, but that's actually not quite right, is it?
0:25:06 > 0:25:10No, Natalie, erm, attempted suicide with overdosing of...
0:25:10 > 0:25:13She's a type-1 diabetic.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17So she injected herself with too much insulin.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Unfortunately, it caused a brain injury. Yeah.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25How old was she?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Natalie was 33.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28She was 33 when it happened?
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Yeah. Yeah. So she was still a young lady, you know.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33So she's forgotten that?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35That's completely forgotten, yeah.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39And I think, even if you... if you were to remind Natalie every
0:25:39 > 0:25:43week about what she did to herself, she'd still forget.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57SUPPORTERS SHOUT
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Oh, my God, 4-3. How about that?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09'I was back with Earl, the young man I'd met on my first day in Leeds.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13'He spends his weekends away from the unit, at home
0:26:13 > 0:26:15'with his family in Sheffield.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17'He and his mum, and his friend Warren, were
0:26:17 > 0:26:21'showing their support for Earl's little brother, Romane.'
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Romy, Romy, keep up, keep going.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Do you know the score?
0:26:26 > 0:26:283-0 to them.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30SHE SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Come on, Mane.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Stronger! Hit it!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Ref! Fuck off!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Earl! Earl, I've told you.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40- No, but... - Earl, Earl, please, we're with kids.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42I didn't mean to swear.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- That's it! Nice.- Pass!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- It's in. Yes!- Yeah!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Well played! That's better!
0:26:50 > 0:26:54That was good. So were you two at school together?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57- Yeah. - And what do you do now, Warren?
0:26:57 > 0:26:58- Security.- Security?
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- Yeah. - Like, my mum treats him as a son.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Yeah. So when the accident happened and that...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07he took it badly and stuff.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11He really struggled hard. Because of my, erm, brain injury,
0:27:11 > 0:27:14I annoy him a lot of the time with some of the immature stuff I do.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17We talked to Patricia about this a couple of days ago
0:27:17 > 0:27:22and she was talking about, erm, Earl as having a slightly
0:27:22 > 0:27:26different personality since the accident, in some respects.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Would you agree with that?
0:27:28 > 0:27:30- Yeah, yeah.- In what way?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Just the way he, like, acts towards people and stuff like that.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37He gets mad with, like, his mum a lot,
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- like easy, a lot. - She's annoying, she does my head in.
0:27:39 > 0:27:44- She's only trying to help him out. Before, he wouldn't do stuff like that.- She treats me like a kid.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46- Not in the way he does now. - She treats me like a kid.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47Cos you act like a kid.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53'Back at her house, and Patricia had laid on lunch.'
0:27:53 > 0:27:56So what's in there, Mum, can you just tell us, please?
0:27:56 > 0:28:00Curry mutton, it's, er, a favourite Caribbean dish,
0:28:00 > 0:28:01Jamaican dish.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05And then you can take them over to the table and introduce Louis,
0:28:05 > 0:28:08but I'm sure he's had Caribbean food before.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Erm, I haven't had it as much as I'd like.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14'I was hoping to get a little deeper into Earl's story.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18'I'd learned that it had been a friend of his that had died
0:28:18 > 0:28:19'in the car crash.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22'I was also curious to see his behaviour at home.'
0:28:22 > 0:28:26- It's delicious. I tell you what, it's so tender.- Thanks.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29This is Earl at college on his second year.
0:28:29 > 0:28:30Is it?
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Yeah.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Did he used to cook for you before the injury?
0:28:34 > 0:28:35- Yes.- Yeah.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37He learnt me to cook some nice dishes,
0:28:37 > 0:28:41like beef bourguignon and Dauphinoise potatoes, which I've
0:28:41 > 0:28:44never done in my life, and home-made gravy and not gravy granules.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46You couldn't go back to home-made gravy from
0:28:46 > 0:28:48once Earl learnt to cook at college.
0:28:48 > 0:28:52I put a mirepoix on - that's carrots, celery, onion, leek.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55He doesn't do all that any more, he's not capable.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57But, hopefully, with time.
0:28:59 > 0:29:03'For afters, there was FIFA 15 in the front room for the youngsters,
0:29:03 > 0:29:06'while I had a moment alone with Patricia.'
0:29:06 > 0:29:08Funny!
0:29:08 > 0:29:10There's Warren.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- There's Earl.- There's Earl.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16That was when he was 18.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18They all went on holiday.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21That's a nice one.
0:29:21 > 0:29:22It is, he's very young, isn't he?
0:29:24 > 0:29:27When you said before, you said, "My son's gone," or,
0:29:27 > 0:29:29"I don't recognise him, it's a different person."
0:29:29 > 0:29:30It is.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33The only thing that's the same about Earl is his looks
0:29:33 > 0:29:35and then his eyes aren't the same cos
0:29:35 > 0:29:38when I look in his eyes, he's got a dead look behind his eyes.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Does that mean your feelings have changed a bit?
0:29:40 > 0:29:44No. I love him just the same, if not even more because...
0:29:44 > 0:29:47- Even though...- Yeah.- ..it's a different person, in your view?
0:29:47 > 0:29:50He's a different person but he's still my son.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53He behaves... I don't like his behaviour.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55I don't like his actions at times but I love my son
0:29:55 > 0:29:57and I always will, regardless.
0:29:59 > 0:30:00I've just got to keep strong and give him
0:30:00 > 0:30:03a strong foundation to keep learning
0:30:03 > 0:30:05and, hopefully, he'll get it and if he
0:30:05 > 0:30:06doesn't get it, I'll just continue
0:30:06 > 0:30:09to do what I'm doing until my days are done
0:30:09 > 0:30:12and then his sister will look after him, cos we've got no choice.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17How much can you say about the accident and how it happened?
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Who was in the vehicle, er, when it crashed?
0:30:20 > 0:30:22There was Earl in the car...
0:30:22 > 0:30:23Earl, who was driving?
0:30:23 > 0:30:27Yeah. Erm, his friend and his ex-girlfriend.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33Earl pulled in front of an ambulance and clipped the kerb,
0:30:33 > 0:30:35lost control of the car.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37The car went across the road.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39He ended up going down on the tramlines
0:30:39 > 0:30:42and it wrapped round the tramline pole.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Am I right in thinking he was going too fast?
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Yes, I'm made to believe he was doing about 50.
0:30:48 > 0:30:49Mm.
0:30:49 > 0:30:53He'd only been driving two and a half weeks as well, himself.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57So you thought you were doing all the right things
0:30:57 > 0:30:59but, obviously, sometimes you're not.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04You think there's something that you could have done that might
0:31:04 > 0:31:05- have averted it?- Yes.
0:31:05 > 0:31:10- In what way?- Not bought him the car. It's that simple.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19Why are you in here, crying on camera, talking shit?
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Everyone can see you on camera crying, like, right sad,
0:31:21 > 0:31:23feeling sorry for you.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25And this is what he does all the time, Louis.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- What do you think- BLEEP- mum's going to think when she sees it?
0:31:28 > 0:31:30- And- BLEEP- family? - I'm not crying about that, Earl...
0:31:30 > 0:31:34- "She's in the kitchen crying and our son's dead."- He asked me a question.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Earl, you're leaping to all kinds of conclusion about what
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Patricia's been saying,
0:31:39 > 0:31:44and, actually, she hasn't done anything embarrassing.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46I'm going back tonight, I don't want to stay any more.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48I don't really want to stay here.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50I can't put up with the bullshit no more.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Get my mum to take me back, I'm not staying here.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55Did you just lose at FIFA, is that what happened?
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Did you come in here because you just lost at FIFA?
0:31:58 > 0:31:59No, I was...
0:31:59 > 0:32:00Did you just lose? Tell me honestly.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02No, I didn't... Yeah.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06So you came in here in a mood and took it out on your mum?
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Yeah.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Maybe you want to say sorry to your mum.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15What for?
0:32:15 > 0:32:20For coming in here and...making her feel bad.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22I didn't make her feel bad.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28Erm, sorry, Mum.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40'For all its turbulence and the turmoil caused by his injury,
0:32:40 > 0:32:43'what was most striking about Earl and Patricia's relationship
0:32:43 > 0:32:46'was that it was still so strong and unconditional.'
0:32:55 > 0:32:58'I was heading back to Cornwall, to see Amanda and Rob.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03'I was curious how they were getting on with their new arrangement
0:33:03 > 0:33:06'with Amanda back at home, living in an annexe.'
0:33:08 > 0:33:09Hello?
0:33:09 > 0:33:12'I'd arranged to spend a Sunday with them.'
0:33:12 > 0:33:13- Hi, Amanda.- Hello.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15- How are you doing?- I'm making cakes. I'm fine, thank you.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17- And, Rob, how you doing, Rob? - Doing all right.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Good to see you.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20You OK?
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Yeah, good.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24- Hi. - How long is it since I saw you all?
0:33:24 > 0:33:26- Is it two weeks? - Two weeks, I think. Yeah.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28- How's it been going?- Good.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Erm, yeah, not bad. It's been difficult, hasn't it?
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Difficult, in what way?
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Erm, it just... We sort of had the idea that Amanda was going to
0:33:39 > 0:33:43be in the annexe, that was her sort of, erm,
0:33:43 > 0:33:46pre-requisite for coming home,
0:33:46 > 0:33:49was that she would... That she would stay in the annexe but she hasn't.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51So it's made it a little bit difficult.
0:33:51 > 0:33:56Amanda's...not brilliant with the boys just because she's got a...
0:33:56 > 0:34:01bit of a short fuse and, as she said, she's lost her squidgy bit.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04So she'll go from being super, super nice to - pow -
0:34:04 > 0:34:09straight in and all singing and dancing, lots of shouting.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11The cakes are ready for you to decorate.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13- OK.- Come on, Osc.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15I'll decorate them with blocks.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17I mean, Ollie said to me
0:34:17 > 0:34:20the other day, he feels a little bit like Mummy's an intruder
0:34:20 > 0:34:24and he thinks Mummy's in there somewhere and she can't get out.
0:34:24 > 0:34:25- So...- I'm back.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27He's back.
0:34:27 > 0:34:28All right, mate?
0:34:28 > 0:34:31We were saying that... You said you found it a bit hard with
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Mummy being back. Why was that?
0:34:33 > 0:34:37Cos she's been shouting at me nonstop. Oh, a blue tit!
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Sorry. Er, yeah, she's been shouting at me nonstop.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44- Yeah, well, I can see that would be hard.- Yeah.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Because of the... because of the brain injury.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Yeah.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50Oscar, are you hungry?
0:34:50 > 0:34:54No, thank you. I'm not hungry.
0:34:56 > 0:34:57Thank you.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00How do you feel now about being back?
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- It's nice. - Do you feel it was the right move?
0:35:02 > 0:35:06I get to see my kids every day, even if they don't want to see me.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11- Hey!- You wouldn't cuddle me last night for bed.
0:35:11 > 0:35:12Bluh-bluh-bluh!
0:35:14 > 0:35:16That made me sad.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18I know, but...
0:35:18 > 0:35:19"I know but," what?
0:35:19 > 0:35:23I was already in bed, like snuggled up really, really, really tight.
0:35:23 > 0:35:24I only wanted a cuddle.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Do you care that you made me sad?
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Umm...
0:35:28 > 0:35:31It's not that, it's... Oh!
0:35:33 > 0:35:35He wouldn't give me a cuddle night-night.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36No, no, it's not that, it's...
0:35:38 > 0:35:39Do you still love me?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Yes! Why wouldn't I?
0:35:42 > 0:35:44Cos you don't behave like you do.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51But you've enjoyed being back with the kids and...?
0:35:51 > 0:35:56Yes, and my dogs. I missed the dogs.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59My poor Diesel got old while I was away.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05He was normal when I left and now he's a proper dodgy old bugger.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06Don't swear.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Oh, all right, boss!
0:36:09 > 0:36:10I'm the boss!
0:36:10 > 0:36:12You're not, you're a pest.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13HE LAUGHS
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Oh, little chip.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Nice!
0:36:35 > 0:36:37I only got one bounce.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39Are you in a sort of care-taking relationship
0:36:39 > 0:36:42or are you in a sort of husband-wife relationship?
0:36:42 > 0:36:46Now? We have no husband and wife relationship any more.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49There's no cuddles, kissing, I love yous, anything like that.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51That's gone.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53You know, that's gone since the accident, you know.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57I can't say to Amanda, "Cor, I've had a rough day," you know, at work
0:36:57 > 0:36:59cos she'll just say,
0:36:59 > 0:37:02"And? What about me? I had a head injury."
0:37:02 > 0:37:05You said she's still just as intelligent as she was.
0:37:05 > 0:37:06Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
0:37:06 > 0:37:07But what?
0:37:07 > 0:37:10The application of intelligence, they call it.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12So she's super clever, super... As she was before.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14There's no loss of intelligence
0:37:14 > 0:37:17but it's applying that intelligence to something.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19And, yes, it's the application.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22She doesn't see herself as having these issues,
0:37:22 > 0:37:24these impairments?
0:37:24 > 0:37:26No. Yeah, that's right, an impairment. No.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30She can see physically and she knows that her left arm, left leg
0:37:30 > 0:37:34and her speech which, you know, when you talk to her, that's the problem.
0:37:34 > 0:37:39But she has no insight into the effect it's had upon the boys
0:37:39 > 0:37:42and herself and me and the family and all that sort of thing.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44You know, we've gotta give it a go.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46If it doesn't work then it doesn't work
0:37:46 > 0:37:48but at least I can...
0:37:48 > 0:37:50At least, if it doesn't work, we've tried every possible thing
0:37:50 > 0:37:52we could have done. And if it doesn't work
0:37:52 > 0:37:55then we'll just have to see what happens, you know, then.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Hello.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18Smile. Go on, smile. Look at that!
0:38:18 > 0:38:20'I was back to see Natalie.'
0:38:20 > 0:38:22- Nice to see you. - You're looking great.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24- How are you? Thank you. - Come here.- Thank you.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Shall we do your whiteboard?
0:38:26 > 0:38:28- Yeah. - Before breakfast, yeah?
0:38:28 > 0:38:30- I know, that would be a good idea, that would be.- That's fine.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33OK, can you tell me what day it is today, Nat?
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Monday?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Yesterday was Thursday, today is?
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Friday.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43That's right. Well done.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47- And the date?- 2014?
0:38:47 > 0:38:50- The date?- '15? '15?
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Yesterday was the 10th, today is?
0:38:52 > 0:38:57- The 11th.- Yeah. And can you tell me what month this is?
0:38:58 > 0:39:00- Thanksgiving?- De...?
0:39:00 > 0:39:01..cember.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05So what makes this date today special, Natalie?
0:39:05 > 0:39:08It makes it special because it's a special time of the year,
0:39:08 > 0:39:12where people can congregate or whatever they want to go to.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15Yes, but today, especially this day, is?
0:39:17 > 0:39:18My birthday.
0:39:18 > 0:39:22It's your birthday. It's your birthday!
0:39:22 > 0:39:24It's Natalie's birthday today.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Happy birthday, Natalie.
0:39:26 > 0:39:27Happy birthday, Nat.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36'For Natalie's birthday, we were off to North Wales.'
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Nicky!
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Hiya, I'm Louis.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47'Natalie's Mum, Chris, was hosting a small party.'
0:39:47 > 0:39:50# Penblwydd Hapus i ti
0:39:50 > 0:39:53# Penblwydd Hapus i ti
0:39:53 > 0:39:57# Penblwydd Hapus i Natalie
0:39:57 > 0:40:00# Penblwydd Hapus i ti. #
0:40:00 > 0:40:02THEY CHEER
0:40:04 > 0:40:09'For me, it was also a chance to get to know the old Natalie.'
0:40:09 > 0:40:12What was she like before the injury?
0:40:12 > 0:40:16Very gregarious. She had ups and downs, you know.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19When she was up she was very...you know, you can see what
0:40:19 > 0:40:21she's like, she's almost manic.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Er, lots of ideas and...
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Artistic?
0:40:26 > 0:40:31Yes, in all sorts of ways. That's when she developed diabetes.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33She looks like something out of Belsen, you know,
0:40:33 > 0:40:35lost a lot of weight.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38How old was she when she got married?
0:40:38 > 0:40:42She got married in 1997, so she was 30, was she?
0:40:42 > 0:40:4330, yeah.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Well, yes, but it didn't last
0:40:45 > 0:40:50and it just sent her a bit off her trolley, as you might say.
0:40:50 > 0:40:51Yeah.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Do you mean she had a sort of depressive episode?
0:40:53 > 0:40:55Yes. I'd seen it coming,
0:40:55 > 0:40:58the writing was on the wall as far as I was concerned.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00In what way?
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Well, I could tell that she wasn't stable and well.
0:41:03 > 0:41:09She was with friends and they went out for the day.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10She said she didn't feel well
0:41:10 > 0:41:14and when they came back, she was in a coma.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16But they didn't recognise it, they thought she was asleep.
0:41:16 > 0:41:20So she was... She was really very, very poorly
0:41:20 > 0:41:24when they realised that she was in a coma.
0:41:24 > 0:41:25Hello, Mum.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Hello, Nat. What are you wearing this for?
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Cos I like it.
0:41:30 > 0:41:35We're looking at some old photos. Where's that nice one?
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- That's when I got married. - Yeah.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Married!
0:41:39 > 0:41:41SHE LAUGHS
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Got rid of the husband, though!
0:41:43 > 0:41:45Why bother?
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Well, isn't that a lovely photo?
0:41:48 > 0:41:51Of me with my high heels and all that stuff.
0:41:51 > 0:41:52Mm. Do you remember it?
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- I remember it. - Was it... Was it a happy day?
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It was a lovely day when I got married.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00I thought it would be perfection but it wasn't.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Well, nothing's perfection, is it?
0:42:02 > 0:42:06Nah! Load of codswallop. Isn't it?
0:42:06 > 0:42:09You have to deal with what you've got, that's what I say it is.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12- It's been 15 years since the injury...- Yeah, yeah.
0:42:12 > 0:42:14- ..which is quite a long time, isn't it?- Yeah. Yeah.
0:42:14 > 0:42:19How different would you say you are since the injury?
0:42:19 > 0:42:21I feel a lot better now.
0:42:21 > 0:42:27- Mm.- Cos I have the injury, so what? It happened, so what? It's gone now.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29It's a brooder, that's it.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32I don't need to worry about it any more.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36I would say that Natalie is the same person.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40She's my Natalie. The traits, the characteristics,
0:42:40 > 0:42:42the nature is still the same.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44I mean, we know she's got a brain injury
0:42:44 > 0:42:46and that presents a lot of problems.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49But she's still the same Natalie and she's a...
0:42:49 > 0:42:50NATALIE CACKLES
0:42:50 > 0:42:54She's a loving, caring person and she can light up a room, yes.
0:43:06 > 0:43:11First of all, I'd just like to say that it was an amazingly high
0:43:11 > 0:43:14standard of entry this year,
0:43:14 > 0:43:18and, er, all of the cakes were delicious.
0:43:20 > 0:43:24'By now, I was several weeks into my time in the world of brain injury.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30'Amid the range and unpredictability of the challenges
0:43:30 > 0:43:33'faced by the people I'd met, I'd been pleased to find
0:43:33 > 0:43:38'consolations, relationships that had become more difficult
0:43:38 > 0:43:43'but which, maybe because of that, were in many ways more rewarding.'
0:43:48 > 0:43:49Go on, in you go.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52Careful of this black one behind my right shoulder.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54She's finding my hand quite interesting.
0:43:56 > 0:43:57- Oh!- Oh!
0:43:57 > 0:43:59She didn't like that.
0:43:59 > 0:44:02'Back in Liverpool, Dan was doing some volunteer work at a local
0:44:02 > 0:44:04'rescue centre.'
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Where have they come from?
0:44:07 > 0:44:09They all come from different places.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13These two little ones, they're from our Welsh centre.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15- And the idea is to get them re-homed...- Re-homed.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17- ..at some point?- Forever homes.
0:44:17 > 0:44:21Forever homes. Would you like a forever home, Dan?
0:44:21 > 0:44:22Uh?
0:44:22 > 0:44:23A forever home?
0:44:23 > 0:44:25A forever home? Not really.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28- Oh. - Nah, I like to move about.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30You're a nomad.
0:44:30 > 0:44:31Yeah.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34But it's nice to have a home that you can go back to.
0:44:34 > 0:44:35Yeah.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39At the moment, mine's Redford Court.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44'But there were rumblings about Dan on the unit.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47'A close female friend had recently moved on.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50'He'd been feeling low and disgruntled.
0:44:50 > 0:44:54'He'd told me his true feelings about rehab were different to the
0:44:54 > 0:44:56'ones he'd expressed on camera.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59'He and Ivan had agreed to sit down for a summit.'
0:44:59 > 0:45:02One thing we haven't really talked about, which is a big thing
0:45:02 > 0:45:06- I know in your life, Dan, is Sophia...- Uh-huh.
0:45:06 > 0:45:07- ..has moved on.- Yeah.
0:45:07 > 0:45:08Do you miss her, Dan?
0:45:08 > 0:45:10- Yeah.- How much?
0:45:10 > 0:45:16I don't know, probably more than what I'd miss my arms, you know.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20I'd rather live with no arms than actually be without Sophia.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22Yeah. You spent a lot of time together,
0:45:22 > 0:45:24- she was a big part of your time here.- Yeah.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27I mean, I'm trying to be as mature as I can, yeah, cos
0:45:27 > 0:45:29- I wanna get out of here now... - Yeah.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31- ..I don't want to be here no more. - Go on, why...
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Why do you want to get out of here?
0:45:33 > 0:45:35Cos I don't like it.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37Er, when I've done 14 years of rehab
0:45:37 > 0:45:40and I just want to get out there and live.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43You want to live, what does that look like?
0:45:44 > 0:45:47I don't know, sand and beaches and...
0:45:47 > 0:45:51And you'd live just by yourself, or do you think...?
0:45:51 > 0:45:54I'd live by myself but I want a house so when my family do come up
0:45:54 > 0:45:56- and see me...- OK. - ..they can spend time with me.
0:45:56 > 0:46:00And, erm, if and when the time comes, when you feel Dan is ready...
0:46:00 > 0:46:03- Yeah. - ..you can sign off on him...
0:46:03 > 0:46:06- Absolutely.- ..leaving, walking out the gates and leaving.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08- Yeah.- But at the moment, your feeling is he's not ready?
0:46:08 > 0:46:10- Yes. - That's one against 13.
0:46:10 > 0:46:11Basically you overrule Dan,
0:46:11 > 0:46:15which I can see from your position must be difficult.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Frustrating.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20Very frustrating, and that's sort of where we are, in a way, isn't it?
0:46:20 > 0:46:22That's the position we're in.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25And that's how... It feels wholly unfair to you, Dan, doesn't it?
0:46:25 > 0:46:28- Yeah.- Do you feel ready? Do you feel like you could walk out there
0:46:28 > 0:46:30- and look after yourself? - Yeah.
0:46:30 > 0:46:31- Dan leaves...- Yes.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34..you sign him off and say, "Do you know what,
0:46:34 > 0:46:37"his persuasive powers
0:46:37 > 0:46:40- "have convinced me he's ready." - Absolutely.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42He goes off and then what happens?
0:46:42 > 0:46:46My concerns are, about Dan, is that things would start to slide.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48I'd be concerned that Dan then wouldn't...
0:46:48 > 0:46:52Things would start sliding, things would start to slide...
0:46:52 > 0:46:54- I'd be concerned that things would start to slide, yeah.- Why?
0:46:54 > 0:46:58Dan would start making associations with people, er,
0:46:58 > 0:47:01that were selling drugs and that Dan would start kind of spending
0:47:01 > 0:47:05all his money on drugs and alcohol, and whilst he was under
0:47:05 > 0:47:06the influence of drugs and alcohol,
0:47:06 > 0:47:09he would then engage in behaviours that
0:47:09 > 0:47:11might actually put him in trouble, and I have those
0:47:11 > 0:47:13fears and concerns because,
0:47:13 > 0:47:15in the past, that's some of the behaviour...
0:47:15 > 0:47:19- So the...like the... They're in the past, yeah.- Yeah.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23So the fears and concerns are going to be there tomorrow, next year,
0:47:23 > 0:47:2610 years' time, 20 years' time.
0:47:26 > 0:47:2930, 40 years' time, till death.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33You have the abilities,
0:47:33 > 0:47:38but I need evidence that I can base my opinion on and that's what
0:47:38 > 0:47:41I'm talking about, is that I want you to provide me with that evidence.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43I think I'm going to go out for a cigarette.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45All right, Dan. Thanks very much.
0:47:47 > 0:47:48Yeah, man, whatever.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54- I can... I can really feel what he feels.- Yeah.
0:47:54 > 0:48:00Because Dan is very engaging and humorous and appropriate and so
0:48:00 > 0:48:03you can see from his perspective,
0:48:03 > 0:48:05- he must take it as very infantilising...- Yes.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07..and emasculating.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10I mean, you could argue that there's people in the world who don't
0:48:10 > 0:48:12really look after themselves very well
0:48:12 > 0:48:15and we give them the autonomy to do that.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17- Yeah.- So what's different here?
0:48:17 > 0:48:19So the big difference for here, really, is it's, er...
0:48:19 > 0:48:23when you come back to Dan, to talking about people's capacity to
0:48:23 > 0:48:27make decisions, it comes back to whether they have a sound mind.
0:48:27 > 0:48:31Dan, in many ways, is still quite stuck in quite adolescent
0:48:31 > 0:48:33thought processes.
0:48:33 > 0:48:37So the world seems, in many ways, quite a simple process,
0:48:37 > 0:48:40and life is a little bit more complicated than just,
0:48:40 > 0:48:43"I'll just live by myself and I'll be happy."
0:48:52 > 0:48:57'For more of Dan's perspective, we sat down one to one.'
0:48:57 > 0:48:59You feel you don't really need to be here.
0:48:59 > 0:49:00I don't.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03I mean, Redford Court, yeah, is for people who need it.
0:49:03 > 0:49:07I can walk, get myself up in the morning, shower myself, get ready.
0:49:07 > 0:49:10I've done it now for like 12, 13 years.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14It's like being told to live your life and I don't really need that.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17I think the feeling perhaps from the clinicians and management is
0:49:17 > 0:49:20that you are vulnerable because of your brain injury.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23I'm going to be vulnerable to them for the rest of the time here.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26You know, they're not going to let me go cos every day they're going to
0:49:26 > 0:49:29think, "Oh, Dan looks vulnerable, Dan looks vulnerable."
0:49:29 > 0:49:31I mean, I've gone 17 years of my life, yeah, I've never,
0:49:31 > 0:49:32never been beat up.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Yet these are saying that I've got... If I go out
0:49:36 > 0:49:40and make a joke about something, you know, people are going to stare.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42So what? Let them look, you know?
0:49:42 > 0:49:45All I want is a chance to actually prove myself.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48You know, if I come back in two years and say,
0:49:48 > 0:49:50"Ah, look at me, I did it."
0:50:03 > 0:50:07"Add the coconut and bring the coconut milk up to boil
0:50:07 > 0:50:10"and then add your dry ingredients and vegetables."
0:50:10 > 0:50:11OK.
0:50:11 > 0:50:16'I was back in Cornwall, making one last visit to Rob and Amanda.'
0:50:16 > 0:50:19Are you ready to attempt this Thai green curry?
0:50:19 > 0:50:20Is it worth attempting?
0:50:20 > 0:50:22I hope so.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25'I'd been struck by the very understandable
0:50:25 > 0:50:26'tension in their relationship.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31'I'd wondered if it might help to talk about it.'
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Louis did the peppers.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Yeah, so be polite about the peppers.
0:50:36 > 0:50:41I will be polite about the peppers. Beautiful peppers.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45Do you feel, erm, do you feel in charge of your life?
0:50:45 > 0:50:47Not at all.
0:50:47 > 0:50:48Why not?
0:50:52 > 0:50:54I have to have a support worker 24/7.
0:50:54 > 0:50:58So although I'm at home and I can get a drink when I want and do
0:50:58 > 0:51:04what I want, I'm still having to consider somebody else, not just me.
0:51:04 > 0:51:07So no, I don't feel in control of my life at all.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10You are in charge of your life, though, aren't you, because...
0:51:10 > 0:51:13- Yes.- ..I mean, whatever you wanted to do... I suppose
0:51:13 > 0:51:16if you wanted to badly enough, you could do it.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Mm-hmm, yeah.
0:51:19 > 0:51:24So you're slightly going along with things to please, erm, Rob
0:51:24 > 0:51:27- and to spare the children... - Yes.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29..any anxiety?
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Yeah...especially you!
0:51:31 > 0:51:33ROB LAUGHS
0:51:33 > 0:51:36You laugh, it's not funny.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39What's the "not funny" bit?
0:51:39 > 0:51:42Any of it - the way I've been left, the way I am.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43Of course that's not funny.
0:51:43 > 0:51:44But you laugh at me.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48I wasn't laughing at you, I was just laughing.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50Mm.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54Mm-hmm, I don't believe you.
0:51:54 > 0:51:58- No, no, the way you've been left is not funny in the slightest.- No.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01I think it was a sort of laugh of...
0:52:01 > 0:52:04at the foibles of relationships and...
0:52:04 > 0:52:06- Yeah.- ..how it...
0:52:06 > 0:52:08What, you're still grinning!
0:52:08 > 0:52:10Yeah, I grin a lot.
0:52:10 > 0:52:15It feels like you're a little bit angry with Rob.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21He makes me out to be a bad person.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26You believe I'm a bad person. Mm.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29Do you really... Do you really believe that about Rob, that he
0:52:29 > 0:52:31thinks you're actually a bad person?
0:52:31 > 0:52:32Yeah, I do.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34A malign influence in the world?
0:52:34 > 0:52:40Yes. Take that grin off your face, smirky pants!
0:52:40 > 0:52:44- Mm-hm.- Yeah, it's a grin, counteracting it.- Mr Perfect.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46You don't really think that about Rob, do you?
0:52:46 > 0:52:51I do. He doesn't like...the way I am now, but, like I said, the person
0:52:51 > 0:52:54he married died the day I fell off that horse.
0:52:54 > 0:52:59I am what's left and I don't think I'm enough for you any more.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01You don't feel loved by Rob?
0:53:01 > 0:53:05No, not particularly. I feel like I'm a burden.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09Why are you saying, "Mm-hmm"?
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- No, I'm just having a... - That's what you think I am.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14No, not at all. I mean, if you were a burden...
0:53:14 > 0:53:18you know, we wouldn't have worked so hard to get you home.
0:53:18 > 0:53:22Rob was saying that he would like more of the sort of cuddling,
0:53:22 > 0:53:24"I love you"...
0:53:24 > 0:53:25Mm-hmm.
0:53:26 > 0:53:27..stuff.
0:53:27 > 0:53:29Yeah, I'd like to get back to a normal husband
0:53:29 > 0:53:31and wife relationship.
0:53:31 > 0:53:35For the last however long, I've kind of had to take in a slightly
0:53:35 > 0:53:37more of a parent-y, carer-type role, haven't I?
0:53:37 > 0:53:41You closed your eyes and shook your head when Rob was
0:53:41 > 0:53:44saying the bit about, erm, wanting more of a husband and wife...
0:53:44 > 0:53:46- Mm-hmm.- ..relationship. What were you thinking about?
0:53:46 > 0:53:48He's just a perv.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50OK.
0:53:50 > 0:53:51THEY LAUGH
0:53:51 > 0:53:54It is! Just go and get a shag, I don't care.
0:53:55 > 0:53:56But I haven't.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59If you're gagging for a shag, go and get one.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02What's the matter with you, why are you laughing at me?
0:54:02 > 0:54:03What a conversation!
0:54:07 > 0:54:08What's up, Oscar?
0:54:09 > 0:54:12What do you need? I'll be back.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15Are you getting tired?
0:54:20 > 0:54:22You're happy to be back.
0:54:22 > 0:54:23Mm-hmm.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27But then sometimes I think you'd rather be somewhere else.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29I'd rather be in my own home.
0:54:29 > 0:54:32What about a care home?
0:54:32 > 0:54:34That wouldn't have bothered me if that's what...
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Where would you rather be, here or a care home?
0:54:36 > 0:54:37Here.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47You say you don't really feel loved by Rob.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50Do you still love him?
0:54:50 > 0:54:53Yeah. We've been together 22 years.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56It doesn't switch off, but I feel like I'm a burden.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01If you were in your own home...
0:55:01 > 0:55:04- Mm-hmm. - ..somewhere else, with the dogs,
0:55:04 > 0:55:08pets, then you wouldn't be living with your kids.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12They don't speak to me. It's not the same.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15It's all they can manage to say "hello" in the morning
0:55:15 > 0:55:17and it is literally, "Hello".
0:55:17 > 0:55:21Not, "Hello, Mummy, how are you? Have you slept well?"
0:55:21 > 0:55:24Nothing. There's no conversation any more.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28So I'm just stuck in the middle.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31A burden that can't hoover.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39Where is...? Where's the Spinosaurus?
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Can you show him to me?
0:55:42 > 0:55:46'I left Rob and Amanda, feeling their predicament was both painful
0:55:46 > 0:55:50'and deeply relatable, and admiring the courage
0:55:50 > 0:55:53'they showed in working so hard to keep their family intact.'
0:56:02 > 0:56:04It's not far from the unit.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07'On the units in Leeds and Liverpool, there was
0:56:07 > 0:56:10'only time for some catch-ups and goodbyes.'
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Is this your spot then?
0:56:13 > 0:56:15Yeah.
0:56:15 > 0:56:16It's not too bad.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18It's all right. It's a bit cold.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20New digs.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23So you're in your own... So it's semi-independent accommodation,
0:56:23 > 0:56:25- away from the main building? - Yeah.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29- That's right, isn't it?- I've moved on to the next part of my rehab.
0:56:29 > 0:56:31So it's sort of a promotion of a sort, isn't it?
0:56:31 > 0:56:35It feels like this is my home and I've found a sense of belonging.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39'So how are you, Louis?'
0:56:39 > 0:56:41I'm doing well. How are you doing?
0:56:41 > 0:56:43Things is getting better now, though, innit?
0:56:43 > 0:56:46'Yeah, you've been there two weeks now.
0:56:46 > 0:56:49- 'And you're doing all right, aren't you?'- Mm.
0:56:49 > 0:56:53'I'm still glad when you get home on a Friday, though,
0:56:53 > 0:56:56'you said this Friday, "Oh, I feel better already."
0:56:56 > 0:57:00'And he came home this weekend and he was as good as gold for me
0:57:00 > 0:57:05'because I've burnt my arm, he's been so thoughtful, so considerate.
0:57:05 > 0:57:07'It was like having the old Earl back.
0:57:07 > 0:57:12'I couldn't believe it, I really couldn't.'
0:57:13 > 0:57:16'Uniquely, among physical impairments, brain injury
0:57:16 > 0:57:19'affects our deepest sense of who we are.'
0:57:20 > 0:57:25Blue eyes, brown eyes... Brown eyes, with glasses...
0:57:28 > 0:57:31'In my time immersed in it, I'd met people caught between old
0:57:31 > 0:57:33'and new selves.'
0:57:35 > 0:57:37It looks a bit like I'm wearing war paint.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39NATALIE LAUGHS
0:57:40 > 0:57:43'Working to get their former lives back
0:57:43 > 0:57:46'but with a changed sense of who they now were.'
0:57:49 > 0:57:51Is that seriously for me?
0:57:51 > 0:57:53Yeah. It's just popped, it's still hot.
0:57:53 > 0:57:54This is good, just popped.
0:57:58 > 0:58:02'The challenge they were engaged in was nothing less than to recreate
0:58:02 > 0:58:07'themselves, with new limitations but also great possibility.'