0:00:00 > 0:00:03Justin, would you prefer not to have autism?
0:00:03 > 0:00:05But I have autism. That's my life.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Do you like having autism?
0:00:07 > 0:00:10But autism is my life. That's all.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13What does your autism make you do?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16How does it make you different from other people?
0:00:16 > 0:00:21- I don't know.- Maybe he's had it, he's on overload.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23I'm so overwhelmed with questions.
0:00:23 > 0:00:29I enjoy the honesty that Justin shows.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32He's honest about finding things annoying, and at the same time
0:00:32 > 0:00:36sometimes I feel like maybe I am being boring,
0:00:36 > 0:00:38which isn't such a great feeling.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Yes, it is bland.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45'For several days, I'd been spending time among children
0:00:45 > 0:00:47'diagnosed with autism, a condition of the brain
0:00:47 > 0:00:51'often associated with a lack of interest in others.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57'Around 1 child in 100 has autism.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00'Those severely affected can sometimes behave in a way
0:01:00 > 0:01:04'that is profoundly challenging for the people who care for them.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08'And yet, with the right intervention,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11'they can also make amazing progress.'
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Konnichiwa, watashi wa Nicholas.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18'One of America's top schools for autism is here in New Jersey.
0:01:18 > 0:01:23'By visiting some of the pupils, I was hoping to get a glimpse
0:01:23 > 0:01:26'of what life was like for their families.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29'The tough choices they have to make over how to raise their children.'
0:01:29 > 0:01:32What's your name?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Hello?
0:01:33 > 0:01:37'And to experience for myself the pleasures and the strains
0:01:37 > 0:01:42'of one of the most extraordinary kinds of relationship.'
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- I need help.- You need help with what?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00You ate your doughnut already, you're not getting another one.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05'Paula Vieira has three children, of whom two are autistic -
0:02:05 > 0:02:08'the seven-year-old twins Marcelo and Lucy.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11CHILD SOBS
0:02:11 > 0:02:15'During the Saturday errands, Marcelo had become distressed
0:02:15 > 0:02:18'that we hadn't stopped at the supermarket,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20'part of his usual routine.'
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I know you want to go shopping. We're going to go to Dr Mark.
0:02:23 > 0:02:31Don't hit me. You need nice hands. You need nice hands. OK?
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Stop. You need nice hands. You need nice hands. Now stop that!
0:02:35 > 0:02:39HE WAILS
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Both Marcelo and Lucy have autism.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55What is autism, as you understand it?
0:02:55 > 0:03:00As I understand it? It is a neurological disorder.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Cause unknown. Cure unknown.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08- Right, Lucy. Where do you want to go?- Outside.- You want to go outside?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Hi, Lucy. How are you doing?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Would you like to say hello, Lucy?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19How are you?
0:03:24 > 0:03:29- Was I doing something wrong, or...? - No, you weren't.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33You see, Lucy, now, she's an independent little soul.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37She'll sit up there on that swing all by herself
0:03:37 > 0:03:39without even making the connection
0:03:39 > 0:03:41that there's a whole world around her.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46Do Marcelo and Lucy know that they're autistic?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48No. I doubt it.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52I don't think they know what day it is.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I just try and make them happy.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57I sense you're pretty stressed about this whole thing.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59I'm heartbroken.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02God forgive me, but...
0:04:04 > 0:04:06..I don't get a lot of enjoyment from them.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11To wait five years to hear someone call you "Mom"
0:04:11 > 0:04:15after daily doing everything for them to keep them safe
0:04:15 > 0:04:19and give them comfort and provide for them, it's...
0:04:21 > 0:04:22..it's tough, you know?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33'Marcelo and Lucy attend a state school
0:04:33 > 0:04:36'specially designed for autistic kids.'
0:04:38 > 0:04:42We're from the BBC and we're very pleased to meet you.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46HE SINGS GIBBERISH
0:04:46 > 0:04:49'The Developmental Learning Centre in Warren, New Jersey,
0:04:49 > 0:04:51'has around 250 children.'
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- Say "car".- Car.- Good!
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Say "cheese it".
0:04:56 > 0:05:00'It takes an age range of three to 21-years old and prides itself
0:05:00 > 0:05:04'on turning no-one away, no matter how disruptive their behaviour.'
0:05:06 > 0:05:09That's the one we're working on. B.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12'Much of the work focuses on social interaction.'
0:05:12 > 0:05:15You say, "What's your favourite movie?" He says, "Red Tails".
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- Then, you could say... - "That's cool".
0:05:17 > 0:05:23- My favourite movie is Lord Of The Rings.- OK. We have our script.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Now, you guys are going to act it out.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- Hey, what's up?- Nothing much.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29SCREECHING
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Cut.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36'A small percentage of students make enough progress to move
0:05:36 > 0:05:38'to a more mainstream school.'
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Hey, Nick.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45'The latest to make the jump was 19-year-old Nicky Ingrassia.'
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I'm graduating high school.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51You graduated from here, and are moving on to a new school.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53But that's not graduating high school.
0:05:53 > 0:05:58- Well, it kind of is from here. - You're moving on.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02What about my old friends? They're going to miss me to death.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05You want to be challenged and this is a great opportunity for you.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- Yes, but I have a fear of getting homework.- Oh!- You know what?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12I can give you homework now to prepare you!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18The idea is you'll be in a school where the other students
0:06:18 > 0:06:21are at a higher educational level than the ones here.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Yes.- Which you will enjoy.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Most likely.- You hope to.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- I hope to. - Are you nervous?- Yeah.- Why?
0:06:30 > 0:06:34Because it might be a bit harder, and the challenge might increase.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- Do you get a lot of anxiety? - What's anxiety?- Do you get anxious?
0:06:38 > 0:06:42- Sometimes.- What makes you nervous? - The students who don't know better
0:06:42 > 0:06:45who have nothing better to do with their lives
0:06:45 > 0:06:47but to bother the crap out of me.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50How about the work, does it make you nervous?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- The work we ask of you?- Yeah,
0:06:52 > 0:06:55cos most of the of the time, it's pointless.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00- Why is it pointless?- Because it's either too easy or too hard.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02So Nicky has challenges
0:07:02 > 0:07:05that a non-autistic person might not have?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Educationally?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Exactly.- Which are what?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Coping with frustration
0:07:11 > 0:07:16and being told to do a job and complete it.
0:07:16 > 0:07:21You don't want to talk about this? You look uncomfortable.
0:07:21 > 0:07:27- I'm not comfortable.- Why? What's making you uncomfortable?
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- This is a good way for you to express yourself.- You see that?
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- OK, come here.- What was it?
0:07:34 > 0:07:40A kid having a hissy fit. That's one reason why I shouldn't be here.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42JAZZ MUSIC
0:07:52 > 0:07:56'It's not uncommon for children at the DLC to have aggressive tantrums.
0:07:56 > 0:08:01- 'I was curious to meet one of these pupils.'- Hi! Oh, it's you.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03How was your day, Joe?
0:08:03 > 0:08:06'Joey Morales Ward is 13 years old
0:08:06 > 0:08:09'and lives in Morris Town with his mother, Carole.'
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Hi, Joey!- Hi, Joey!
0:08:14 > 0:08:15That's what we do.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19- W....say cheese!- Yeah.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26- Were those chips good? Yes.- Yes.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32You've got to be quiet cos they're asking me a question about you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Coo-wa-a-woo. Say cheese.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- How are you, Joey? - Are those cameras?
0:08:39 > 0:08:43- Those are cameras, yes, but he asked you, how are you?- Good.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- Good. Joey had a behaviour today. - Yes, he did.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48He had a behaviour today.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53The teacher said he went after her, which means he got up
0:08:53 > 0:08:57from what he was doing and started to attack her.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59They had to restrain him.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01How often does that happen?
0:09:01 > 0:09:07- Erm, at least once a day, sometimes twice.- With Joey?- Yeah.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- Every day?- Yeah.- Why does he do it?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13I want to say part of it is lack of communication,
0:09:13 > 0:09:18but at this point, because they have gotten worse in the last two years,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I want to say puberty.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24How does Joey fall on the autistic spectrum?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Medically, he is considered severely autistic
0:09:27 > 0:09:31because of the lack of communication, but there are kids
0:09:31 > 0:09:35with communication that have more severe behaviours than him.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40There's no... It's a huge spectrum.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45There's no one thing that you can say that each kid has.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Hi, Joey!- Hi!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51JOEY MAKES NOISES
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- I'm Louis.- Hi, Louis.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00If you could take the autism away, would you do it?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Yes, I always pray for that miracle.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05One day, I was in church and my daughter says,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07"Mom, do you know that God made him that way?"
0:10:07 > 0:10:11So then, I'm like, God made him that way...
0:10:11 > 0:10:15to make me learn a lesson, probably.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Hi, Kate! Say hi!
0:10:17 > 0:10:22- 'Carole's daughter, Kate, is not autistic.'- Hi, Kate.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- You don't want to say hi? You're being shy.- It's OK.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I'm just going to bring her in.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32SCREAMING
0:10:38 > 0:10:42In, in, in, in.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Down, down, down.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00CONTINUOUS SCREAMING
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I might call my husband. Would you mind?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Hold his legs.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Breathe.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Go get some water. - Shall I get some water?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Thanks.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- Would you like us to step out? - No - unless I let you film,
0:11:44 > 0:11:49nobody's going to ever know that this is true autism. That's it.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52A lot of parents don't want you to see that.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Breathe through your nose, Joseph.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57DEEP BREATHS
0:12:02 > 0:12:07- Are you sorry?- Sorry, yes.- OK. Can I have a kiss?
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Everything's OK, now? - Everything's OK, now.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- When will we say cheese? - Everything's OK.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23I'm Louis. Nice to meet you. How was that for you downstairs?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Is that still an emotional thing to see that?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29It's very emotional...
0:12:29 > 0:12:35and I know he's getting, you know, taller and bigger than me,
0:12:35 > 0:12:39and I know one day I can probably not control him at all.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Sometimes he came after you and punched you for no reason.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46If I say the word "no", he comes like a bulldog on top of me
0:12:46 > 0:12:51- and punches me.- Does it ever affect how you feel about Joey?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53No.
0:12:54 > 0:13:00I remember when she was pregnant and she told me she had a baby boy.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I was happy.
0:13:02 > 0:13:07I would like him to be a doctor or a lawyer, big things in my dreams.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10But in the end, 18 months later, I found out he was autistic.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Now, I don't care anymore.
0:13:13 > 0:13:20I would be happy if he was a dishwasher or a landscaper.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22This sounds like a strange question,
0:13:22 > 0:13:24but does it make it harder to love him?
0:13:24 > 0:13:29No, I love him. It's like any regular child.
0:13:44 > 0:13:49'A few miles away in Scotch Plains, New Jersey, lives Mary Ingrassia.'
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Hi, Mary. - Hi, Louis.- How are you doing?
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- 'A teacher, and the mother of Nicky.'- Nicky's in the basement.
0:13:56 > 0:14:01- He's running upstairs right now. - Here's everything.- Wow!- It's a lot.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06- Is Britney here as well?- Yes. - Where is Britney?- Britney?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Britney is Nicky's twin. You're 19 as well.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- How do you do? I'm Louis.- Hello.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Has it been helpful for Nicky to have a twin?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I think it's been helpful for Nicky to have not only a twin,
0:14:17 > 0:14:22but so many other siblings with their friends coming in.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Because he gets socialised, gets to mix and mingle.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29But Nicky was born normal.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34How old was Nicky when you realised there was something different?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- About 18 months old.- What happened?
0:14:36 > 0:14:39He literally woke up one morning,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42he went into a total regression.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45He stopped babbling, he stopped crawling,
0:14:45 > 0:14:49he just stopped doing everything.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- How has Nicky done at DLC? - Nicky's done great.
0:14:52 > 0:14:58They have taught Nicky way above and beyond my expectations.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03- How?- I overgrew the challenge. - Look at him!
0:15:04 > 0:15:08What would stop him from going to a mainstream school?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Forget it, I couldn't go.- I think just the idea of normal children.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Being bullies?
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Yeah.- There's kids I have problems with in my class.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18This morning, I was so angry, I said,
0:15:18 > 0:15:22"I'm going to stab this kid if he doesn't shut up."
0:15:22 > 0:15:24What did I tell you about talking like that?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- It's freedom of speech! - No, you can't do that.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- What did I tell you about talking like that?- Never do it.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- And what did you do?- I said it anyway cos I was angry.- Why?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Because I was angry!- I'm sorry.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41That's trouble. They can arrest you. You'll go to jail!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- No way!- Oh, yeah.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Do you want that to happen?- No way. - Cos that's a threat.
0:15:46 > 0:15:52- I'm not kidding.- I hear you loud and clear! You're not funny.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56- You're not funny cos we already spoke about this.- Oh, I'm not funny?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Am I laughing? No!
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Quit overreacting.- Stop it, Nicky. You're aggravating me right now.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Everybody needs to stop, that's the thing.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08If you could take away Nicky's autism, would you do it?
0:16:08 > 0:16:13- No.- Why not?- Cos he's too special.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18He also does so many things that you've never seen before.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22I don't think any of my other children could do what Nicky does.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25'Nicky's written a number of dictionaries
0:16:25 > 0:16:27'and a novel called Dragonula,
0:16:27 > 0:16:29'which he was keen to show me.'
0:16:29 > 0:16:34These two are Japanese books which is my favourite language to learn.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I'm starting to write the entire alphabet
0:16:37 > 0:16:40in Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45- Do you speak Japanese?- Yes.- How do you say, "hello, my name is Nicky."?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Konnichiwa, watashi wa Nicholas.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- Very good.- Next we have German. - Can we move on to Dragonula?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Not yet.- Oh.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Next we have Chinese simplified,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00and, last but not least, the Hindi language book.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Hindi is the language that they speak in India. That's it for those,
0:17:04 > 0:17:08now we're moving on to the most anticipated work of them all.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- The Dragonula novel by me, of course.- You wrote this whole book?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- The whole book. It's inspired by dragon law.- About dragon law.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19Yes, dragon law - or, if it's British English, it's Dragonula.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24- Would you read us a tiny bit of the book?- Sure, I'll read the prologue.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29"The year was 1462. In a medieval Europe civilisation setting built in ancient Japan,
0:17:29 > 0:17:34"there once lived a sympathic Japanese Romanian black dragon.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38"Mona has committed suicide by diving off the castle's tower.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42"Zenaiku screams in despair as he slowly goes down to his death
0:17:42 > 0:17:45"as the blood rises up, a fort-high blood pool."
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Great.- What do you think?- Terrific.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53This school that Nicky is about to start.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- He'll stay in there until how long? - Until he's 21.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- After then, what happens? - I'm not really sure.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05- I'm not sure where we're going to go after that.- Will he still stay here?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07- Oh, yeah, of course. - For how long?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- Nicky will live here as long as I'm alive.- As long as Mom's alive.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12And then, you know...
0:18:12 > 0:18:19- And then Britney will take him? - Britney or one of his brothers.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- You would do that, Britney? - Of course. He's my twin brother.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26May I move on to another thing? OK, every...
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- Mom, you're ruining it.- Sorry.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Touch your head.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Head! Look, touch!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49'I was back at the DLC,
0:18:49 > 0:18:53'hoping for more insight into the methods of the school.'
0:18:53 > 0:18:57- Lucy, can you tell me how he feels? - Mad.- He does feel mad.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59'Children on the autistic spectrum
0:18:59 > 0:19:03'often have trouble with skills most people regard as instinctive.'
0:19:03 > 0:19:07- How does he feel?- Surprised.- He does not feel surprised, he feels...
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- Happy.- He does. Show me happy.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12'The school tries to teach these abilities
0:19:12 > 0:19:15'using strictly regimented phases of work and break
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- 'to incentivise learning.' - Three stars, you get a break.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Good.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28'I'd arranged to spend some school time with Joey
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- 'and his behaviour specialist Kim Spurlock.'- Good job.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34So, he looks for the price of the item and there are two items
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- and he adds up the price, and gets a result.- Right.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- He seems to be doing well. - Yes. He's made progress.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48We are really trying to focus on his behaviours,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50trying to decrease them.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51And Joey's strengths?
0:19:51 > 0:19:55That he can work on an activity for long periods of time,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57especially the vocational tasks.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01I have...
0:20:01 > 0:20:06- I am...- I am finished.- Good. Let's do collating and stapling.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15Something like this is what I was talking about, his strengths.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17He can stay on task.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20He can do an activity or job and work through it
0:20:20 > 0:20:22and complete the activity.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28- What are you drawing, Joey? - Girl.- Are you drawing a girl?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Does she have a name?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35- Who is this? - Girl with ponytails.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Girl with ponytails. Very nice.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43ALARM
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Break is... there you are, finished.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58SCREECHING
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Lie him back.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Bye.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- This is your class? - This is my class.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33'A little later, I checked in with a teacher called Matt Fernandez,
0:21:33 > 0:21:36'curious to meet a few of Nicky's peers.'
0:21:36 > 0:21:40Hi! How are you? Hi! Nice to meet you.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45Bradley, will you stand up for a second and talk to us, please?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Thank you, Bradley.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51- Matt is your teacher, how do you get on with Matt?- Him?- Yeah.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56- I dunno.- How old is he?- Not how old I am. How do we get along?
0:21:56 > 0:22:01- Do you like being in my class?- Yeah. - What will you do when you graduate?
0:22:01 > 0:22:06- Where do you work now?- TK Maxx.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- That's a department store?- Yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:14- What do you do there?- What did I do? You know, fold.- You folded.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19- I fold the towels.- Good, thanks, Bradley.- You're welcome.
0:22:19 > 0:22:26- This is Tyler Smith.- Hi, I'm Louis. Nice to meet you.- This is Tyler.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31- Hi, Tyler.- Hi!- Tyler has pens. - Takia has a knack for geography.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35You can give him any country in the world and he'll give you the capital.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- For real?- For real.- What's the capital of Great Britain?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- London.- Good.
0:22:40 > 0:22:45- France?- Paris.- Madagascar? - Antananarivo.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50- Tibet?- No Tibet anymore. - OK, Tibet doesn't count.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54'Nicky had just a few days left
0:22:54 > 0:22:56'before transferring to his new school.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00'I joined him for one of his last art classes.'
0:23:00 > 0:23:04- I'm Louis.- I'm Tommy.- Louis, nice to meet you. How are you doing? Louis.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Oh, my God.- Tell me briefly what's happening in here.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12This is the Comic Book Club. We have it for an hour a week.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16The rule is that they have to develop their own characters.
0:23:16 > 0:23:21I've just shown my teacher my novel that I mentioned the other day.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23It's right here.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26His job is...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28..to interact with everybody and help them out.
0:23:28 > 0:23:34- You're sort of co-teaching.- Yeah, I co-teach. It's called collaboration.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38That's the most important thing here, the kids interacting with each other.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Yeah, but I'm going to miss my friends.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Yeah, why don't you talk about how you feel about Nick leaving?
0:23:45 > 0:23:50- We feel happy for him.- Why? - Because I'll get to do other things.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54- He deserves to go to a different school.- Why?- Because I'm special.
0:23:54 > 0:24:00Because he's special. All the kids there could speak.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05Just about all the kids could speak, they are like a higher level.
0:24:05 > 0:24:10- Johnny, how do you feel about Nicky leaving?- I feel great for him.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I am really proud that he's going to leave
0:24:12 > 0:24:15because I'm going to miss him. He's one of my best friends.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Me too.- Would you like to be going with him?- Yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Years ago, we had violent behaviours
0:24:21 > 0:24:23cos we didn't know any better.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27- It was a tough break.- Yes, it was. - But as we got older,
0:24:27 > 0:24:31we got mature and we were intelligent enough to learn more
0:24:31 > 0:24:32of the real world.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48- Let's go and say hi to George. - 'I was back with the Vieiras.'
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Look how long your hair is. Look, it's like a wig, George.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Paula was taking Marcelo for a haircut.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57HE SHOUTS
0:24:57 > 0:25:00No, we're not going yet. We're going to cut our hair.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02HE SOBS It's OK.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Do NOT hit your sister! Stop it!
0:25:05 > 0:25:10HE SCREAMS, SHE CRIES
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I've got Peppa Pig on my iPhone.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Do you know Peppa Pig?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I do not know Pepper Pig.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22PHONE PLAYS TUNE
0:25:22 > 0:25:24LOUIS SIGHS
0:25:24 > 0:25:26I'm right here. Your sister's going to the bathroom.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Have you seen Peppa Pig?- Nope!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Look, Marce.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Do you want to hold it? Do you want to hold it?
0:25:33 > 0:25:40PHONE PLAYS TUNE
0:25:45 > 0:25:46'I was curious about the strain
0:25:46 > 0:25:50'that raising autistic children can put on a marriage.'
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Say goodnight.- No!- Goodnight.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55What do you want? Talk to Daddy.
0:25:55 > 0:26:00Back at the house, and Paula's husband, Paulo, had finished work.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01- Cheers!- Cheers!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04'With the children in bed, we re-grouped in the kitchen.'
0:26:04 > 0:26:06- How are you feeling?- Tired!
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Long day. Very, very long day with the kids.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- It's like we're still stuck in toddler stage.- Yeah.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14We haven't got out of the terrible twos yet.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18It just keeps building up and building up and building up.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21And then...he's angry and mad.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Marriage is...it's true, it'll never be the same.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28It's never the same. Mmm-mmm.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- It's not the same as it was before, do you mean?- No.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Well, there's not like that laughter, fun part any more, you know? It's...
0:26:37 > 0:26:40We miss out a lot.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43So the only place you can take it out is on each other.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47Like, we don't go on vacation. You know what I mean?
0:26:47 > 0:26:48We don't go to parties.
0:26:48 > 0:26:53And we are seeing what regular kids are doing outside, and...
0:27:01 > 0:27:06I know exactly how he feels, because when you see typical children,
0:27:06 > 0:27:10you...you can't help
0:27:10 > 0:27:16but wish that that was your son playing on the football field.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Or your daughter cheerleading on the sidelines.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Or, you know, being in the school play, and doing things that kids do.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- You OK?- Mmm.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- Go ahead.- I just wanted to check on you.- I'm OK, OK?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46HE LAUGHS: I'm back!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- Are you OK?- Yeah.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51MUSIC: Mozart's Piano Sonata No.4
0:28:02 > 0:28:05- Is this where you are? - This is my homeroom. The sharp right.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Come, make yourself comfortable, if you could.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11'By now I was more than a week into my stay,
0:28:11 > 0:28:14'and Nicky had become curious about me.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18'He'd taken the initiative of doing some research of his own.'
0:28:18 > 0:28:21This is what you're best-known for?
0:28:21 > 0:28:25You're working with BBC, making these documentaries and all these TV shows.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Like, When Louis Met...
0:28:27 > 0:28:29And Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Those are your two best-known programmes.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Well, I don't know...maybe.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Is all this info on your page true?
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Saying that you are the youngest son of the American traveller?
0:28:40 > 0:28:42We don't really have to read that, do we, Nicky?
0:28:42 > 0:28:47You are of Italian descent and American descent.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50- Is that strange to you? - That's really strange.- Why?
0:28:50 > 0:28:54- I'm Italian descent as well. - Well, maybe we're related.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58We probably are. Ha! It's a funny story. It's a funny...
0:28:58 > 0:29:01- Shall we click that away now?- Sure. I'll move on to something else.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03Thank you.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07'But there was a possible crimp in the plan for Nicky to move schools.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11'His threat of stabbing another student had been reported.'
0:29:11 > 0:29:15- OK, so someone was laughing, right? - And one was cursing me off.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17'One of the school's behaviour specialists, Dana Silver,
0:29:17 > 0:29:19'had called Nicky into a meeting.'
0:29:19 > 0:29:22What did you do to one of the students?
0:29:22 > 0:29:25Did you say something back to the student?
0:29:25 > 0:29:28Unfortunately. And I was told not to do it again afterwards.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- All right. So what did you say? - A threat.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32And what was this threat?
0:29:32 > 0:29:35I screamed, "If you don't stop laughing at me,
0:29:35 > 0:29:36"I'm going to stab you."
0:29:36 > 0:29:37And see how he'll laugh at that.
0:29:37 > 0:29:41And he would feel exactly like how I feel.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45Me being laughed at by him is like being stabbed towards the chest.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47OK.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50Is this something Nicky's done before?
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Yes. Throughout this year.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54- Why?- Cos they make me so angry.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57I just had to say those threats to get it out of my head.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00And the stakes are higher now, Dana,
0:30:00 > 0:30:02because Nicky's going to this other school?
0:30:02 > 0:30:05- But I'm only one of the very few. - And it's amazing.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07And we want that to continue for you,
0:30:07 > 0:30:10so we need to make sure we can control your anger.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12And we need to give you strategies of how to deal
0:30:12 > 0:30:14when people don't like things.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17- So these are the strategies? - Yeah, I think...
0:30:17 > 0:30:19"Move away, ask them to stop, keep doing my work,
0:30:19 > 0:30:21"write in my journal, or tell a teacher."
0:30:21 > 0:30:24- Those are five options. - Those ARE five options.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26I did tell him to stop and tell a teacher,
0:30:26 > 0:30:28and I tried to move away.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30I did four out of five strategies.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32But you also did something inappropriate.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35You threatened a student, right?
0:30:35 > 0:30:39So are we going to try our best not to make threats?
0:30:39 > 0:30:43- Yes.- You promise?- Promise.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45MUSIC: "I'll Write and I'll Draw" by Woody Guthrie
0:31:00 > 0:31:04Though most of the pupils at the school live at home,
0:31:04 > 0:31:06there is a tiny handful whose behaviour
0:31:06 > 0:31:10is so unmanageable that their parents can no longer cope.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14Who am I speaking to? This is Josephine, Brian's mum.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18'I was with a DLC parent called Josephine Engelhardt.'
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Well, I'm on my way to pick up Brian.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24You didn't tell him that I was coming, did you?
0:31:24 > 0:31:28Oh, good. Good. Cos I don't want him to get to be anxious, you know?
0:31:28 > 0:31:30Waiting.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34(FROM INSIDE HOUSE) Look how happy he is!
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Look at that beautiful smile! Mommy loves you!
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Thank you very much. Take care.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42'Brian had burned down the family house, aged eight.
0:31:42 > 0:31:46'He had also repeatedly assaulted his mother.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49'For the last two years, Brian has been living in a group home.'
0:31:49 > 0:31:52SHE LAUGHS
0:31:52 > 0:31:55- Brian, say hello!- How are you? - Hey.- I'm Louis.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57- That's Marco.- Louis.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59- Oh, I'm sorry!- That's all right.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- This is Louis.- Hi, how are you?
0:32:01 > 0:32:03- Good.- Nice to meet you.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08The number eight, please.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Here, honey.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15You can put it there, OK? Here.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22HE CRUNCHES FOOD
0:32:22 > 0:32:24SHE LAUGHS
0:32:24 > 0:32:28He LOVES to eat, Louis! He loves to eat!
0:32:28 > 0:32:30The main course is to come.
0:32:30 > 0:32:34- Ha-ha! He's not going to let me forget it.- Foo-foo-foo! Me-me!
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Is it? Foo-foo-foo-foo? Me-me?
0:32:36 > 0:32:39- What kind of taco is it?- Yeah.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42- What kind is it?- Yeah.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- Is it beef?- Beef.
0:32:44 > 0:32:45- Is it chicken?- Mmm.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50HE CRUNCHES FOOD SHE LAUGHS
0:32:50 > 0:32:51It's crunchy.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54I can hear it crunching.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56You know, he has a tendency, like a lot of autistic...
0:32:56 > 0:33:00You've got to slow down. You're going to make yourself ill.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02- Yeah.- You're going very quickly.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05- Slow down, Brian. He always did. - Is he very hungry?
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Or maybe he just likes the sensation of the food?
0:33:07 > 0:33:10No, no. I believe...both.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13I believe that they keep them on a schedule.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16So he cannot just eat at will.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19- Brian seems quite interested in me. - Yes.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20- Yes.- See?
0:33:20 > 0:33:23- Are we friends?- Yeah.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25- Nice to meet you.- Yeah.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28- We're from England.- Yeah.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30I mean, there's a cliche about autism,
0:33:30 > 0:33:35that the people can be a little bit insular or inward-looking.
0:33:35 > 0:33:40But Brian seems...quite sociable.
0:33:40 > 0:33:45Exactly! Exactly my point. He's very sociable.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Foo-foo-foo! Me-me! Foo!
0:33:47 > 0:33:50- High five!- Foo-foo!- Thank you.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Food's coming. We've got to get back to the house.
0:33:52 > 0:33:58'While Josephine went off to get more food, I was left in charge.'
0:34:00 > 0:34:02- How are you doing?- Yeah. - Are you good?- Yeah.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04- How are you feeling?- Yeah. - Good?- Yeah.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18- Do you ever play with these?- Yeah.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21- What do you do with them? - HE MUMBLES
0:34:21 > 0:34:22- Dominoes?- Yeah.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25- What do you do with them? Do you ever do this?- Yeah.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30- Do you want to push that one?- Yeah.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32- That's fun, isn't it?- Yeah. - Shall I do it again?- Yeah.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- Are you ready to push? - Yeah.- You push.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42- Good!- Yeah.- Was that fun?- Yeah. - I thought so.
0:34:43 > 0:34:47- OK, I'm going to do the whole lot. Will you help?- Yeah.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49- You want to build one? - Mmm-hmm.- You build one.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52OK, you don't have to.
0:34:55 > 0:34:56OK, I'm building another one.
0:34:59 > 0:35:00Brian?
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Brian?
0:35:07 > 0:35:08Brian?
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- You OK?- Yeah.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13I've got the dominoes.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15I've got the dominoes.
0:35:15 > 0:35:16Can you push the domino?
0:35:18 > 0:35:21HE CRUNCHES FOOD
0:35:21 > 0:35:23OK, honey. One minute, one minute.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Here. Here, sweetheart.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29What made you decide you couldn't handle Brian at home any more?
0:35:29 > 0:35:35OK. I knew deep down that things were unbearable.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38Absolutely unbearable.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42To be afraid of your child is a terrible thing.
0:35:42 > 0:35:46You know, to be...having to hide,
0:35:46 > 0:35:50or having to run away, because...
0:35:50 > 0:35:54Brian! No, no, no. That's not yours. That's not yours.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Go have a can. Grab a can from the refrigerator.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00You want a can?
0:36:00 > 0:36:02- Lasagn...- No, no, no.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05See, he says, "Lasagne". He knows how to say it.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07No. No. See?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10It's almost like a glutton, you know what I'm saying?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12He goes from one, you know, relentlessly...
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Brian, no! No. OK?
0:36:15 > 0:36:16(SHE LAUGHS): All right.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- He had a little bit of a look on, then. Did you see it?- (SHE LAUGHS)
0:36:19 > 0:36:22- What did that mean? - Because I said no.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26Like he was trying to intimidate you a little bit.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29But it's nothing in comparison to how it was.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31It was pretty unbearable.
0:36:31 > 0:36:36So the times that Brian did hurt you, how would he hurt you?
0:36:36 > 0:36:39He would grab me, and you know, I would lose chunks of hair.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Sometimes it would get real scary.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45He would grab my throat and he could easily choke me that way.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48< Lasagne.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Huh? No, honey. No, you're...Brian!
0:36:51 > 0:36:52- Brian, go over there.- Lasagne.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55SHE LAUGHS You think he's being aggressive!
0:36:55 > 0:36:58That's not being aggressive at all!
0:36:58 > 0:37:00No, Brian, leave the kitty alone.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03He's got a mischievous streak, though, you know?
0:37:03 > 0:37:06SHE LAUGHS CAT MEOWS
0:37:06 > 0:37:08He seemed a little more cuddly in the car,
0:37:08 > 0:37:10and now he's making me a little nervous.
0:37:10 > 0:37:11SHE LAUGHS Wait a minute.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14No, you don't. No, No. CAT MEOWS
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- Leave the kitty alone.- (HE MUMBLES) - Yes, go ahead. Lay down.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20He's actually trying to be friendly, believe it or not.
0:37:20 > 0:37:24- Brian! No, no, you cannot touch that. - He can do that if he wants to.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Does he have behaviours at the residence?
0:37:27 > 0:37:30At the home that he's in?
0:37:30 > 0:37:33The only time... Hardly ever, he's like...
0:37:33 > 0:37:36they tell me he's one of the best-behaved there.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39The only time that he does is food-related.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41So at the moment, basically, during the week
0:37:41 > 0:37:43Brian lives at the group home
0:37:43 > 0:37:47and then he comes back at weekends just during the day.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Saturday, Sunday during the day he's with you?
0:37:49 > 0:37:51Right. Only because...
0:37:51 > 0:37:54- But he doesn't spend the night here, ever?- Yes, he has.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57And it's been a disaster every time!
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Because he doesn't sleep.
0:38:07 > 0:38:11'Brian had been put on medication, which Josephine felt was helping
0:38:11 > 0:38:13'with his impulsivity.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16'Still, it was striking how warm he was, and how friendly.'
0:38:17 > 0:38:18- Who?- Brian.
0:38:20 > 0:38:21Yeah, that's Brian.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Who do you think that is?
0:38:23 > 0:38:26- Yeah, Brian.- Yeah, that's Brian.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29'I'd been concerned that Brian might not deal well with
0:38:29 > 0:38:30'the end of the visit.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33'But when the time came,
0:38:33 > 0:38:36'he was the one who asked to be taken back home.'
0:38:36 > 0:38:40- You're waiting for us?- Yeah. - Good job! Good job waiting, Brian.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43- Where do you want to go? - To the house? OK.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48- How much do you think I love you? - Too much.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- Too much?- Yeah.
0:38:54 > 0:38:58SALSA MUSIC PLAYS
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- Am I picking you up tomorrow?- Yeah.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21I'm going to pick you up tomorrow?
0:39:21 > 0:39:25- Yeah.- OK, sweetheart. Come here. I love you.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27- Nice to meet you.- Aw!
0:39:27 > 0:39:30- Goodnight.- You get in here?
0:39:30 > 0:39:31Yeah.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33OK. You go right through.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Oh, thank you. Thank you for watching over him.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37(FROM INSIDE) Take care!
0:39:37 > 0:39:39- God bless you.- God bless you too.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42- Goodnight.- Goodnight. Thank you.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44- He seems very happy.- Yeah, he is.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46He's a happy little kid, he really is.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50Why do you think he's so much more mellow now?
0:39:50 > 0:39:54Because he is in a much more mellow environment.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58You couldn't create that environment at home?
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Not with the pressures.
0:40:00 > 0:40:05We were just so...bogged down and so tired.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07- Swamped?- So frustrated. Exactly.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Are you happier now as well?
0:40:09 > 0:40:17I am happy, you know, in a certain way, that I'm a lot less stressful,
0:40:17 > 0:40:19my life right now.
0:40:19 > 0:40:24But I'm also sad in another way, because he's not with me.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37'It was the morning of Nicky's first day at his new school.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42'I'd arranged to visit him at home.'
0:40:42 > 0:40:44- I'm sorry.- That's all right. Hi, how are you doing?
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Nice to see you. How's it going?
0:40:47 > 0:40:50How are you doing, Nicky?
0:40:51 > 0:40:55- I'm tired a bit. - Nick, are you nervous?- Yeah.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57High five.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03I'm curious whether there's more students at DLC Warren
0:41:03 > 0:41:07- who'll be able to make the kind of progress you've made?- Probably not.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11- Mary, was Nick ever diagnosed with severe autism?- Yes.
0:41:11 > 0:41:16- Severe?- When he was little. - Was he?- But I overcame.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18He was non-verbal. I mean, he wouldn't do anything.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- I overcame that.- He just screamed. - Until he was?- I would say about six.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25So that's amazing, isn't it? The journey that he's been on.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- How did he start communicating? - Honestly?
0:41:31 > 0:41:34My parents took Nicky to a church,
0:41:34 > 0:41:38a cathedral in Philadelphia, St John Paul Neumann's church.
0:41:40 > 0:41:44And I don't know if it was a miracle or something that, you know,
0:41:44 > 0:41:47was supposed to happen, but the next day,
0:41:47 > 0:41:52after the visitation of the church, Nicky said to me, "Hi, Mom."
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- What?!- Just as clear as day.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00Crazy. True, though. I don't know, maybe it was coincidence.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03- He said, "Hi, Mum."- Mm.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06- And then after that, he just added more words?- Mm-hmm.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09It's a little bit of a miracle, right?
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Yeah, but, but, I think it's a... I think it's a disaster
0:42:12 > 0:42:15- at the same time, too.- Why?
0:42:15 > 0:42:19My mouth got me into a lot of trouble throughout my life.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25'With the school day soon starting, there was still no sign of the bus.'
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Where is it?
0:42:27 > 0:42:29HE SIGHS
0:42:29 > 0:42:33- Do you feel anxious?- Yes. - Would you like a hug?
0:42:34 > 0:42:36I'm not gay. LOUIS LAUGHS
0:42:36 > 0:42:40- What was that reaction?! - I'm like, "I'm not gay!"
0:42:40 > 0:42:42He doesn't mean it like that, Nick.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46- Not like a gay hug, like a reassuring hug.- OK, fine.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49Hugged by a celebrity.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52- THEY LAUGH - Hugged by a celebrity!
0:42:52 > 0:42:55- Hugged by a celebrity.- Ah, Louis.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58- Was that nice?- Yes, it was, when you hugged me.- Aw.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01LOUIS LAUGHS But the gay thing, no.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10Where is it?
0:43:10 > 0:43:12- We could take Nicky. - You could do that?
0:43:12 > 0:43:14Yeah, that would be great.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21- Be a good boy. God bless.- I'm a bit, I'm really nervous.- I know you are.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23- OK.- I'm so anxious and nervous.
0:43:23 > 0:43:27- You're going to be fine. - I hope I will.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29- Love you.- Bye, now.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32See you later, love. Good luck.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54LOCKER SQUEAKS
0:43:54 > 0:43:56Oh, God.
0:43:57 > 0:44:01- Nick! How are you?- I'm new. This is my first day here.
0:44:01 > 0:44:03- I'm so happy you're back.- I know.
0:44:03 > 0:44:07- That's Louis. He's from the BBC and he's popular in the UK.- Really?
0:44:07 > 0:44:11- He has a Wikipedia page. - Dang! You must be lucky.
0:44:11 > 0:44:12Thank you very much.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15- How do you know Nick? - He's an old friend of mine.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18I have known her for... I've known her, six years ago.
0:44:18 > 0:44:22Yep, six years ago we met in middle school. He's a good friend of mine.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24- And now Nick's back. - Hi! Good morning.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27How are you? Welcome, welcome, welcome. Are you excited?
0:44:27 > 0:44:29- Yes. I'm nervous, too. - A little nervous.
0:44:29 > 0:44:32- OK. Let's go to the room.- OK.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38- So you can kind of hang out.- OK.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40It's gonna be all right, don't worry.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42- I'm already anxious and nervous to death.- Don't worry, Nicky.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45- You're going to be fine. - We'll both help.- Thank you, girls.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48- It's all right, Nicky. - Hey, Nick. Come here.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51This is where we sign in every morning.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Good, there we go.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56- Nice job.- Thank you.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59That was a little too easy.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14Come on, handsome.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20'Back at the DLC, school photographs were underway.'
0:45:23 > 0:45:26- Lower those hands. - Where's that happy smile?
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Want me to come and tickle you?
0:45:28 > 0:45:30'One of the strangest aspects of autism
0:45:30 > 0:45:34'is how unpredictably it can develop.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37'I wondered how these children's lives would unfold.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40'Whether they would make sudden gains and leave, like Nicky,
0:45:40 > 0:45:44'or continue locked in their own worlds.'
0:45:45 > 0:45:47Give it to me! I got it!
0:45:47 > 0:45:49Yay!
0:45:51 > 0:45:56'For those older students who do stay at the DLC,
0:45:56 > 0:45:59'teachers do their best to prepare them for an independent existence.
0:45:59 > 0:46:02'One school hallway is built to resemble a main street,
0:46:02 > 0:46:06'with classrooms designed to look like shops and workplaces.
0:46:06 > 0:46:10'Here, students get used to life in the outside world.'
0:46:10 > 0:46:12- Can I sit next to you?- Sure.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16- What are you doing?- I'm writing. - What are you writing about?
0:46:18 > 0:46:22Erm, there. That should do it.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24"Add Sara Jane's purchases together
0:46:24 > 0:46:28"and complete the cheque below for the total amount. Use today's date."
0:46:28 > 0:46:31- So you had to put the date here. Did you write that?- Yeah.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34- So this is helpful, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37Because if you ever needed to write a cheque out in the real world,
0:46:37 > 0:46:40- now you know how to do it.- Yeah.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42- Has he been making good progress?- Absolutely.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45You know, one of Bradley's good skills is being very thorough
0:46:45 > 0:46:49and making sure he goes back and checks his work, staying organised.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52There's a lot of things we focused on in the last couple of years.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55- How did Bradley score on his cheque writing?- He did very well.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58- Very nice, Bradley.- Well done.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01- HE SIGHS - Did you find it stressful?
0:47:01 > 0:47:04- Yeah, I'm calm. - HE SIGHS
0:47:04 > 0:47:06- Are you OK?- I'm fine.
0:47:11 > 0:47:16- Hi, Brian. Do you remember me? I'm Louis.- Hi, there.- Louis.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19Nice to see you.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Are you, are you Joe?- Yes. - Louis, hi.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23- It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26- Brian, what are you doing?- Yeah.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29- Now, what are you doing right now?- So-orting.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32- S-sorting.- Sorting.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35At this point, Brian is sorting the different baked goods,
0:47:35 > 0:47:38the pastries and things, by type into different trays,
0:47:38 > 0:47:42with a view to maybe one day, you think, he could perhaps
0:47:42 > 0:47:47- work in a bakery or in that kind of a workplace?- Yeah.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49The skills to work in something like that he definitely has.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53He can definitely sort the different shapes, different colours,
0:47:53 > 0:47:55different sizes.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58- Brian, we're going to go shopping.- Yeah.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Could you get me two potatoes, please?
0:48:03 > 0:48:05And another one, please.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10I'll just have one carrot, please.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11And maybe one Danish.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15- That is everything.- Yeah.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19- Did you enjoy that?- Yeah. - Was that fun?- Fun.- Good.- Yeah.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Next year Brian will graduate, is that correct?
0:48:21 > 0:48:25- He's graduating in June.- In June? - Yes.- What will happen then?
0:48:25 > 0:48:27Well, he's currently going to be in a workshop.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30Whether it's stuffing envelopes or putting batteries
0:48:30 > 0:48:35in a remote control, packaging goodie bags,
0:48:35 > 0:48:38we are trying to work on those independent work skills
0:48:38 > 0:48:40while they're here.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47- Come here. Listen.- Yes.
0:48:47 > 0:48:52- What do we need to do in order to bake these cupcakes?- Get a bowl.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55'A little later, I joined some of Nicky's old friends
0:48:55 > 0:48:57'in a cookery class.'
0:48:57 > 0:49:00- Oh, man.- That's OK, watch. We've got enough time.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03- It's my fault.- No, that's OK.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06100% vegetable oil, of course -
0:49:06 > 0:49:08fruity delicious.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- What's the capital of Vatican State? - Vatican City.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17- Somalia?- Mogadishu.
0:49:17 > 0:49:20- Kenya?- Erm, Nairobi.
0:49:25 > 0:49:30- Mm, that feels good. Tasty. - Very nice.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32- Bradley?- Yeah?
0:49:32 > 0:49:35- The cakes are delicious. - I know. You're welcome.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37'My time at the DLC was up.
0:49:38 > 0:49:42'I'd been struck by the dedication of the staff, and their commitment
0:49:42 > 0:49:46'to making changes that could be tiny or immense -
0:49:46 > 0:49:48'and sometimes both at once.'
0:49:55 > 0:49:58Before leaving the world of autism altogether,
0:49:58 > 0:50:01I was making a few revisits.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04Sing a song for Daddy.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06MARCELO SINGS JINGLE BELLS
0:50:06 > 0:50:08'First, the Vieiras.'
0:50:08 > 0:50:12# Tee-tee-tee, tee-tee. #
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Can you dance to it? Dance. Dance.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16# Tee-tee-tee-tee-tee. #
0:50:16 > 0:50:19Mommy, I want ice-cream.
0:50:20 > 0:50:25Part of what I sense, maybe, is that you don't want the fact
0:50:25 > 0:50:30that you've got two children with autism to define your existence
0:50:30 > 0:50:34but, at the moment, it has become the defining fact of your existence.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36It is, and it has been for a long time.
0:50:36 > 0:50:39I'm starting to see that there's a light,
0:50:39 > 0:50:42that it won't be what defines us as a family,
0:50:42 > 0:50:45or defines us as individuals, eventually.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49- So what do you hope for now? - Silence!
0:50:49 > 0:50:51SHE LAUGHS
0:50:52 > 0:50:55You know, they always say, "God gives you what you can handle."
0:50:55 > 0:50:58And I have to say I think that we are extraordinary people
0:50:58 > 0:51:01but we were extraordinary people
0:51:01 > 0:51:04before these children came into our lives.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Which is probably why I have such difficulty accepting it.
0:51:08 > 0:51:12I just... some people, it transforms them
0:51:12 > 0:51:15to being this ultra-caring kind of a person.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19Whereas I think we have always been that kind of person - that's,
0:51:19 > 0:51:23that's the difference I was trying to make.
0:51:23 > 0:51:28- So you feel you didn't need to be transformed, in a sense.- Yeah. Yeah.
0:51:28 > 0:51:33Which is almost part of the reason why I get so angry because I, I...
0:51:33 > 0:51:36I AM that loving, sweet person, compassionate person.
0:51:36 > 0:51:37Right, Lucy?
0:51:39 > 0:51:43- Wow. I like your alphabet. - MARCELO RECITES ALPHABET
0:51:47 > 0:51:50Marcelo always loved letters.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53He knew the alphabet, he must've been 18 months old,
0:51:53 > 0:51:56- he knew the whole alphabet.- L...
0:51:59 > 0:52:04- O!- Very good!- Good job!- Yay!
0:52:09 > 0:52:11Hi.
0:52:11 > 0:52:13You're supposed to ignore the camera, Joe.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17Barney is dinosaur.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21- Barney is a dinosaur.- Imagination.
0:52:21 > 0:52:25'I was paying one last visit to Joey and his mother, Carole.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28'Carole had once told me she'd prayed for a miracle for Joey.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31'It being Sunday, we were attending church.'
0:52:33 > 0:52:36Take away the sins of the world...
0:52:39 > 0:52:41In the name of the Father and the Son...
0:52:44 > 0:52:46# ..Clap your hands
0:52:46 > 0:52:50# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
0:52:50 > 0:52:54# If you're happy and you know it Then your face will surely show it
0:52:54 > 0:52:58# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. #
0:52:58 > 0:53:01'That Carole was hoping for some kind of cure for Joey
0:53:01 > 0:53:03'seemed understandable, and yet what was strange
0:53:03 > 0:53:07'was that Joey's personality was so bound up with his condition,
0:53:07 > 0:53:10'it was hard to separate the two.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13'His lovable qualities were intertwined
0:53:13 > 0:53:15'with the challenges he presented.'
0:53:16 > 0:53:19- Can you find Mickey Mouse? - JOEY SHOUTS
0:53:22 > 0:53:24INCOMPREHENSIBLE SPEECH
0:53:26 > 0:53:29- You want to sit here?- Sit here.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Sit here.
0:53:33 > 0:53:37- Sit here.- Who, me?- Me.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39- Sit here.- Yeah. - JOE GROANS
0:53:46 > 0:53:49- OK.- Sit here.
0:53:49 > 0:53:51- Who, me?- Who, me.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52- Here?- Here.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57INCOMPREHENSIBLE SPEECH
0:53:59 > 0:54:03- Draw a picture?- The picture.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05JOEY GROANS
0:54:23 > 0:54:26- JOEY SCREAMS - No, no, no, no.
0:54:26 > 0:54:31Yeah. You can't get angry and hit walls.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35- Go. Lie down. - JOEY SCREAMS
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Lie down.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45'Since I'd last seen her, Carole had started a new technique
0:54:45 > 0:54:48'for controlling Joey's tantrums by confining him to his room.'
0:54:48 > 0:54:51- JOEY SCREAMS - Down.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54- Can I help, Carole? - SCREAMING
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Down. Down.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01And when you're ready, you can come out.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03JOEY SCREAMS
0:55:03 > 0:55:08When you can calm down, you can come down for breakfast. OK? That's good.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11- Good job. Calm down, breathe. - SCREAMING
0:55:11 > 0:55:14We'll just leave him and see what happens.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16- SCREAMING - Leave him.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19If he breaks anything in there, we'll throw it out.
0:55:23 > 0:55:26Scissors. Scissors.
0:55:26 > 0:55:31- So you feel this new system could be working?- Right.
0:55:31 > 0:55:36The tantrums, although they're still intense, he seems to,
0:55:36 > 0:55:38after 10 minutes,
0:55:38 > 0:55:42come out of it and he comes downstairs and says he's sorry.
0:55:42 > 0:55:46On our last visit, you were worried about
0:55:46 > 0:55:49whether you'd be able to control Joey as he got older
0:55:49 > 0:55:51if the aggressiveness continued or got worse.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54- Right. - Are you still concerned about that?
0:55:54 > 0:55:56I'm still concerned about that.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00If the tantrums got worse I would first try medicine.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03If the medication does not work?
0:56:03 > 0:56:06I don't want to think about that,
0:56:06 > 0:56:10but what would happen is, in order for me to get help from the state,
0:56:10 > 0:56:13I would probably have to call 911.
0:56:14 > 0:56:18And then the state would step in. But I don't want that to happen.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21If it really did not improve,
0:56:21 > 0:56:24you would consider residential care?
0:56:26 > 0:56:31Eventually I would have to because if I couldn't take care of him,
0:56:31 > 0:56:33what am I going to do?
0:56:34 > 0:56:38The sad thing is that's your only option, really.
0:56:38 > 0:56:40That's the final outcome for all these children.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42Wah!
0:56:42 > 0:56:45- What do you want Mommy to do?- Sock.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47You want Mommy to take...
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Take a picture.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52- Wah!- Beautiful picture.
0:56:52 > 0:56:55- Can you tell if Joey likes me?- I...
0:56:55 > 0:56:58Joe, do you like Louis?
0:56:58 > 0:57:01- Louis still here.- Do you like him? Yes or no.
0:57:01 > 0:57:06- Yes.- Do you like him?- Yes. Shake hands.- Would he say that anyway?
0:57:06 > 0:57:09- Say cheese.- No, because I gave him two options and then I asked,
0:57:09 > 0:57:14I said, "Joey, do you like Louis? Yes or no?"
0:57:16 > 0:57:19- Now I have to ask again. Joey, do you like Louis?- Louis, yes.
0:57:19 > 0:57:23- And I didn't give him two options. - Shake it, say cheese.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32'I was leaving the world of autism with a fondness for the kids
0:57:32 > 0:57:36'and a respect bordering on awe for the parents.'
0:57:38 > 0:57:40- Moo!- It's a cow.
0:57:40 > 0:57:42- Cow. Moo.- Moo.
0:57:42 > 0:57:46'Raising a child on the severe end of the spectrum
0:57:46 > 0:57:49'can entail decisions no-one should have to make.'
0:57:49 > 0:57:51Moo-oo-oo!
0:57:51 > 0:57:54'And yet these parents were, in different ways, continuing to find
0:57:54 > 0:57:57'inner reserves of love and compassion.
0:57:59 > 0:58:04'Performing a small miracle of their own in their ability to keep going.'
0:58:29 > 0:58:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd