The Maroon Machine

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0:00:37 > 0:00:39'The recruits of 408 Platoon

0:00:39 > 0:00:41'were well into their third week of training

0:00:41 > 0:00:45'before they had their first night out...in the open.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48'Already, the original 41 were reduced to 35.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51'One had never arrived, being in jail.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'Five others had either been withdrawn as unsuitable,

0:00:54 > 0:00:57'or become too badly injured to continue.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00'The rest, if they survived the coming week,

0:01:00 > 0:01:03'would at least put on a red beret, becoming, some only briefly,

0:01:03 > 0:01:07'small cogs in what the regiment itself likes to call

0:01:07 > 0:01:09'the Maroon Machine.'

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Three, two, one, go!

0:01:18 > 0:01:19Mind those wheels!

0:01:19 > 0:01:24'For all the world, like Red Coats of another age struggling with cannon,

0:01:24 > 0:01:27'the platoon's five sections compete against the clock,

0:01:27 > 0:01:30'each other and the waywardness of a rusted fire hydrant.'

0:01:30 > 0:01:33Come on. Pull it! Slow it down!

0:01:36 > 0:01:39'The object, not just to test and develop physical stamina,

0:01:39 > 0:01:43'but to seek out those willing to channel aggressive competitiveness

0:01:43 > 0:01:47'into teamwork, and to expose the less well motivated -

0:01:47 > 0:01:50'those who can only hang on rather than hang in.'

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Come on. One!

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Are you fucking deaf?

0:02:01 > 0:02:04'The staff are already learning which among the recruits

0:02:04 > 0:02:07'are the weaker brethren and the recruits are learning

0:02:07 > 0:02:10'which amongst the staff are ready to beat the lessons in to them.'

0:02:10 > 0:02:14Come on! You're slowing down! Get a move on.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Get a move on. Come on! Move it now.

0:02:17 > 0:02:18Come on!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Keep going! Keep going!

0:02:29 > 0:02:319.38.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36OK. That makes you second position.

0:02:39 > 0:02:40A good effort.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Next time we do it, if we do it again, I want to see much better.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Away you go. Have a wash.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49'This week is physically and mentally testing.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52'It ends back in Aldershot with examination

0:02:52 > 0:02:54'in drill and regimental history.

0:02:54 > 0:02:58'If they pass, they abandon the despised camouflaged caps

0:02:58 > 0:03:00'the Paras call crap hats.

0:03:00 > 0:03:05'A term also apply to any person not qualified to wear a red beret.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09'But first, on Hankley Common, Surrey, and mostly under canvas,

0:03:09 > 0:03:11'three days of basic field craft.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15'Familiar ground to the half-dozen ex-Territorials in the platoon.'

0:03:15 > 0:03:17What I'm going to show you how to do

0:03:17 > 0:03:20is put up a poncho, which we call a basher.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Anybody put one up before like this?

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Hm. So we've got a few old sweats amongst us, have we?

0:03:26 > 0:03:29All right. If you pay attention,

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I'll guarantee it'll keep you drier,

0:03:31 > 0:03:34all right, and warmer than you normally would be.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Those people who don't pay attention

0:03:36 > 0:03:39will find water dribbling on their head in the middle of the night

0:03:39 > 0:03:42and a draught blowing up their arse.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46Right. All a basher is...

0:03:46 > 0:03:47is your poncho, all right?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50You've all been issued with one of these.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Clear the area and make sure

0:03:53 > 0:03:56there's nothing sticking up that'll give you an uncomfortable night.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59And you see now, I'm hooking it around the tree.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02I'm not tying it lots of times around the tree like that,

0:04:02 > 0:04:04cos that takes time.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07All I'm doing, looping it over, all right?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10And that is tighting up.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13That's OK. It's not too bad, is it? Yeah?

0:04:13 > 0:04:16That wants to be slightly higher. Up here.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23'This piece of equipment is not yet standard army issue,

0:04:23 > 0:04:26'but well worth the cost, on the advice of the corporals,

0:04:26 > 0:04:29'of a trip down to the Aldershot bicycle shop,

0:04:29 > 0:04:33'and it doesn't overstretch the recruits' £75-a-week pay packet.'

0:04:35 > 0:04:3724-hour ration pack.

0:04:37 > 0:04:41That's enough to feed you, like it says, for 24 hours, all right?

0:04:41 > 0:04:45So don't think it's just a NAAFI break and scoff it straight away

0:04:45 > 0:04:50because later on when everybody's cooking, you'll feel hungry.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Right. Inside there you've got some toilet paper.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Some dried milk. Three packets.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04'In Surrey or the Falklands, these are the Paras' iron rations.'

0:05:04 > 0:05:08You've got biscuits A B, right, which taste like manhole covers.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14Two of the biggest tea bags you've ever seen.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Some coffee.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Beef stock drink.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23'At this stage, it's all very elementary.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26'What the Army rather grandly calls Exercise Steel Eagle,

0:05:26 > 0:05:28'the corporals call a boy scout's outing.'

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Pierce the top of the tin.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Like that, and just sit it in there.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Wait till it gets hot enough.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Once it's hot enough, you can then eat it

0:05:41 > 0:05:43and use your water to make a brew.

0:05:43 > 0:05:47In here, we've got, this time steak-and-onion casserole.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49As I said, you can eat all of these cold,

0:05:49 > 0:05:52but when you get the chance, you should heat them up, OK?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Looks like Pedigree Chum. What's it taste like?

0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Pedigree Chum! - It's OK.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Probably be going home tomorrow with dysentery!

0:05:59 > 0:06:00THEY LAUGH

0:06:08 > 0:06:09'A full night's sleep,

0:06:09 > 0:06:13'and not just because it's the first week of February,

0:06:13 > 0:06:14'is impossible.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18'They must go on stag, sentry duty, two hours on, four hours off.'

0:06:20 > 0:06:22This is the log fire, all right?

0:06:22 > 0:06:25And the track veering in from there.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Behind that, another track. OK.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31This track, everything around here, all the way around, 180 degrees,

0:06:31 > 0:06:33right to the bottom of that tree.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40We're all supposed to be keeping as quiet as we could last night,

0:06:40 > 0:06:44but there were lights going, blokes standing up, walking round.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46You could hear every noise last night.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48I'd been on for about an hour,

0:06:48 > 0:06:50and I seen a light come on,

0:06:50 > 0:06:52and you could see this kid smoking a cigarette

0:06:52 > 0:06:55and he was right on the side of the camp.

0:06:55 > 0:06:56And it stood out a mile,

0:06:56 > 0:06:59so if there was a sniper about, he'd've shot him easy.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Getting back to he sleeping bags, mine's miles too small.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04You got to sleep with your weapon in the sleeping bag with you,

0:07:04 > 0:07:06and your combat jacket, to keep everything dry,

0:07:06 > 0:07:09and you just can't move and you can't sleep.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11And I was freezing as well.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14And then I had to come back out on guard duty for a couple of hours,

0:07:14 > 0:07:16and it was pretty, you know, cold.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19'Phil Tatum. Already, the corporals have marked his card.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22'Fit, keen, could be holding something back.

0:07:22 > 0:07:23'A bit fly.'

0:07:23 > 0:07:27Cos, er, told the corporal about my sleeping bag and he goes,

0:07:27 > 0:07:29"Come over here and try mine out," and he had a massive one!

0:07:29 > 0:07:32And it came way above my head, it was beautiful.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I says, "Oh, great, cheers, Corporal,"

0:07:35 > 0:07:37he goes, "Well, you can get out, you ain't having it!"

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Keep looking round.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Don't just look at the ground.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Look up in the trees.

0:07:51 > 0:07:52Right, when you...

0:07:52 > 0:07:55When you're walking along, just don't hold your rifle any way,

0:07:55 > 0:07:57get it in the shoulder.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59In the alert position.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Not only blokes walking along you're waiting for,

0:08:04 > 0:08:10you're looking for people in trees, booby traps, aircraft, anything.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23'One of the Paras' skills is working in small units,

0:08:23 > 0:08:26'often behind enemy lines.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28'That demands first total understanding

0:08:28 > 0:08:31and instant communication in the silent language of patrol.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Second, concealment.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Camouflage - disruptive, patterned material -

0:08:36 > 0:08:39is remarkably effective close to.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47But at a distance, against a skyline

0:08:47 > 0:08:52or a pale and uniform landscape, you can see with a sniper's-eye view

0:08:52 > 0:08:54how important it can be for an army to march on its belly.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08'The evening of the second day.

0:09:08 > 0:09:09'After three weeks,

0:09:09 > 0:09:13'basic skills are still not being performed automatically,

0:09:13 > 0:09:16'without thought, so thoughtless errors occur.'

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Move straight into your pens.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21GUNSHOT

0:09:23 > 0:09:24What was that?

0:09:24 > 0:09:27'That was Andy Cunningham, emerging as the recruit

0:09:27 > 0:09:29'for whom everything goes wrong.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31'He'd already been carpeted for lack of fitness,

0:09:31 > 0:09:34'which makes for fatigue, which makes for mistakes.'

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Cunningham, you horrible man!

0:09:36 > 0:09:38- Cunningham, what are you doing?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42What are you doing, Cunningham?

0:09:42 > 0:09:43What did you do?

0:09:44 > 0:09:47- Didn't check. - Didn't check inside, did you?

0:09:47 > 0:09:48No, Corporal.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Cunningham, you are now placed on report. Right?

0:09:50 > 0:09:55'Soon he'd be training with live rounds, a mate could be killed.'

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Right, Cunningham, give me the magazine.

0:09:59 > 0:10:00Give me your magazine.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05When I...

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Shut up. Unload that weapon correctly.

0:10:09 > 0:10:10Stop!

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Stop!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14I said unload, did I?

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Did I say unload, Cunningham, did you hear me say unload?

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Yes, Corporal.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23Check inside, Cunningham, have a good look, all right,

0:10:23 > 0:10:25there might be something hiding in there.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Now squeeze off the action.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29You can do it, can't you? - Yes, Corporal.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Any more incidents like that, Cunningham,

0:10:31 > 0:10:33you can say bye-bye to this platoon.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Do you understand me?

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Yes, corporal. - Get away, get your scoff.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40'But he wasn't alone.'

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Did you so handle a self-loading rifle as to cause it to be

0:10:43 > 0:10:46discharged without the order to do so being given?

0:10:46 > 0:10:47Yes, Sir.

0:10:47 > 0:10:48Stand at ease.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Hughes.

0:10:54 > 0:10:59Are you 24611617 Private Hughes, JP of the Parachute Regiment?

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Yes, Sir.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03There's nothing up there, look at me. Look at me. Lower your chin.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07Accused with evidence.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Accused with evidence. Quick march.

0:11:10 > 0:11:16Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, mark time.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Stand still.

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Left turn.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Private Hughes and Cunningham on report, Sir.

0:11:25 > 0:11:30Right, both of you. A very early stage in your training

0:11:30 > 0:11:33but you've got enough under your belt now, you've done about six to eight

0:11:33 > 0:11:35lessons on the SLR including the load and unload

0:11:35 > 0:11:37to know what you're doing with that weapon.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39I understand that it was a first training exercise.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43I also understand that we're talking about blank ammunition

0:11:43 > 0:11:44and not live ammunition.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46But you both know, as well as I do, that these

0:11:46 > 0:11:49weapons have to be treated with the greatest amount of respect.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51You understand that, Hughes, don't you?

0:11:51 > 0:11:52Yes, Sir.

0:11:52 > 0:11:53And you understand that, Cunningham? - Yes, Sir.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56For God's sake, during the rest of your Army career,

0:11:56 > 0:11:59take care of these weapons, treat them carefully, treat them properly

0:11:59 > 0:12:02and make sure that you never, never again have a negligent discharge.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Do you understand completely what I am talking about, Hughes?

0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Yes, Sir. - Cunningham?

0:12:06 > 0:12:07Yes, Sir.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Guilty, five days RPs, march out.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Left turn. Quick march.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Left, right, left, right, left, right.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16You moron, mark time!

0:12:22 > 0:12:26'One of the less predictable features of Exercise Steel Eagle, a cabaret.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27'Compulsory.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29'For confidence-building.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32'All pay lip service at least to the mucky, macho tone

0:12:32 > 0:12:35'they seem to expect is expected.'

0:12:35 > 0:12:39My name's Paul and I've been feeling happy all day.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42My name's Philip and I've been feeling happy all day, too.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44My name's Brian and I've been feeling happy all day.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47And I'm Alex and I've been feeling happy all day.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55All I can do now is give you a ticket

0:12:55 > 0:12:57and you go to a selection centre and you will be selected.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00Selected? I'll walk over it. I'm hard. My name, hard.

0:13:00 > 0:13:06Muscle, look at me. Kill. Swastikas, look. I'm hard.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Hard.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10It's my name.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12You've got to be really fit to go on this.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15Fit? I can run 20 miles on one leg.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19'The staff, too, applaud a sense of humour,

0:13:19 > 0:13:23'even against themselves, boosts platoon of morale.

0:13:23 > 0:13:24'Top of the class, Stephen Birrell.'

0:13:24 > 0:13:26I want you to touch that wall,

0:13:26 > 0:13:29that wall and that wall and fall into single file.

0:13:29 > 0:13:30Go.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Stop.

0:13:32 > 0:13:33Aha, I never blew the whistle.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Get back in line.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Right, sit down.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Stand-up.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Too quick, way too quick. Slow it down.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47You stay there, you're doing well.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53'Exercise Steel Eagle was over.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54'Exercise was not.'

0:13:57 > 0:13:58Come on, shall we just walk it?

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Open your legs!

0:14:05 > 0:14:09'Returning to Aldershot, the recruits, for the first time,

0:14:09 > 0:14:11'ran into the problem of how to get themselves

0:14:11 > 0:14:14'and their kit across country when transport is not provided.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17'In the Falklands, the Marines called it yomping.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19'The Paras, who call it tabbing,

0:14:19 > 0:14:22'don't speak quite the same language as their rivals.'

0:14:22 > 0:14:24What do you call this group? The choice is yours.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Do you want to be a wanker or do you want to be a paratrooper?

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Let's go!

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Well done, Birrell, that's good.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Keep it going, nice and tight, walk on.

0:14:44 > 0:14:50Just three more hills to go. Three more hills, come on!

0:14:50 > 0:14:56In you come, in you come. Come on. In there. Stand up. Stand up.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Stand there and get your breath back, stand still.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Get your breath back while you've got a chance.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Might just be setting off again in a minute.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Come on, you people!

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Come-on, quickly, hurry up.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14'This tab was the first real tightening of the screw

0:15:14 > 0:15:17'in the six month process of separating the cream

0:15:17 > 0:15:18'from the milk and water.'

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Cut across, come on, cut across.

0:15:26 > 0:15:27OK, well done.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33Well done.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39What's your problem?

0:15:39 > 0:15:40Lost it, Sir.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44Get your weapon up, Cunningham. Get your weapon up.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Right, kit-box away.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Bottles away, quickly. Get on the wagon!

0:15:52 > 0:15:54It can't be like this all the time.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56They've got to give you this for a start.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58You've got to get used to taking it.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00I mean, when you're on a battlefield you couldn't turn around

0:16:00 > 0:16:04and say, well, I'm going to knock off now and go home and have my tea.

0:16:04 > 0:16:09'Two weeks later, Alex Peston bought himself out of the army for £75.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12'He said he'd joined up to travel, but not like this.'

0:16:13 > 0:16:14Argh!

0:16:14 > 0:16:16How did you do it in the first place?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18On a run. We were doing a four-mile cross country.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Yes? - I stopped and it was OK.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21When we started back

0:16:21 > 0:16:24and I put my foot down it just started hurting from there on.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26You don't remember treading on a stone or turning your ankle

0:16:26 > 0:16:27- or anything? It just started? - No.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29The last 100 yards...

0:16:29 > 0:16:32'Mark Chard. Not as hard, it seems, as he boasted in the cabaret.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35'Constant pressure compounded his injuries

0:16:35 > 0:16:39'and two weeks later he, too, dropped out of 480 platoon.'

0:16:39 > 0:16:40Right.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43Firm crepe bandage on that and an excused boots chit,

0:16:43 > 0:16:44we'll review it next Monday.

0:16:44 > 0:16:49'Those not excused boots polish them for the big test on the drill square

0:16:49 > 0:16:53'they're privileged for the first time to wear the red beret.'

0:16:53 > 0:16:57When you put your beret on, put it on with that hole right to

0:16:57 > 0:17:00the centre of the back of your head. Right there.

0:17:00 > 0:17:01Once that's there,

0:17:01 > 0:17:04you can then mark out where your cap badge is going to go.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06OK?

0:17:06 > 0:17:07So what you do,

0:17:07 > 0:17:09the cap badge goes over the corner of your left eye.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11So what to do is, you get it there

0:17:11 > 0:17:13and you get somebody to mark it for you.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16A little bit of chalk or something. Mark it.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Once it's in position, just centralise the green backing

0:17:20 > 0:17:21and then put it on your head.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Right.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29Good way to put it on, put it on the front.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Drag over the back.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33That way any hair you've got at the front is underneath your beret

0:17:33 > 0:17:36and it's not hanging down over your eyes.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37Right. Come here.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38When you put it on,

0:17:38 > 0:17:40see he's got his cap badge over the corner of his nose?

0:17:40 > 0:17:43He wants it over the corner of his left eye.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45All right?

0:17:45 > 0:17:47'Meanwhile, in more ways than one,

0:17:47 > 0:17:49'they brush up a little bit of regimental history.'

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Who's the Colonel in Chief?

0:17:54 > 0:17:56HRH Prince of Wales.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Who's the Colonel Commandant?

0:17:58 > 0:18:03General Sir Anthony Farrar-Hockley.

0:18:03 > 0:18:08- MBE. - MBE, ABC, GCE.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09MFI.

0:18:09 > 0:18:13'Confidently, private O'Hare consigns his crap hat to dusting duties.'

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Maybe not have to wear these no more.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17'But was he tempting fate?'

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Come on. Outside!

0:18:19 > 0:18:22'The Paras have a word, Ali,

0:18:22 > 0:18:23'it means too cocky.'

0:18:26 > 0:18:30Come on. Part and parcel of this is your own personal pride.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34You tack them down on the ends like I have there.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43Wipe that smile off your face, Cunningham.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54When did you press this shirt last?

0:18:54 > 0:18:56About 10 minutes ago, Sergeant.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Try switching the iron on. Pull your trousers up, Tatum.

0:18:58 > 0:19:02Pull them up. Pull them up. More yet, come on.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Can't pull it any more, Sergeant.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07In that case I suggest you move part of your body.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Down in this depot, you don't need it anyway.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Stand easy.

0:19:18 > 0:19:19Head, turn!

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Shun!

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Right dress!

0:19:24 > 0:19:27One, two, two-three-eyes, 232.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Eyes front!

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Good.

0:19:31 > 0:19:35Pass off here, we stay with the red beret.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39White name tags off and you stop calling out the time,

0:19:39 > 0:19:40three good incentives.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Move to the right, in three.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Right turn! - One, two, three, one.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50By the left, quick march!

0:19:50 > 0:19:54Left, right, left, right, left.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57'Marching as a platoon, they looked good,

0:19:57 > 0:20:00'but as Sergeant Reilly discovered at dress-rehearsal

0:20:00 > 0:20:02'the day before, the problem came

0:20:02 > 0:20:06'when they marched in individual threes and saluted in unison...

0:20:06 > 0:20:07'..or not.'

0:20:09 > 0:20:11You thick nit! Oh, you three, listen in, you three!

0:20:11 > 0:20:15Hunt, Paulin, stand still! Go in the centre, Hunt.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17By the front, quick march!

0:20:17 > 0:20:21Left, right, left, right, left right, left, right, left, right,

0:20:21 > 0:20:23left, right, left, right, left.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24Listen in.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Move to the right.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31About turn!

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Now, call out the time and do it properly this time.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Come on, Hunt, do it.

0:20:46 > 0:20:50Paulin, you wouldn't make a good tailor's dummy!

0:20:51 > 0:20:54He's going to have to come off, sir.

0:20:54 > 0:20:55'Then came the parade itself.'

0:21:05 > 0:21:07- Better, better.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08Now try it again, come on.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Good one, now. Don't waste the pace.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Put your neck in the back of the collar and look up.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17'Again, as a platoon they marched well under the approving eye

0:21:17 > 0:21:20'of the regimental Sergeant Major, one of the inspecting officers.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23'Then came marching in individual threes.'

0:21:23 > 0:21:251, 2, 3, 4.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Paulin, you make me despair.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Left, right, left, right, left wheel.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Left wheel, you two flids are going to get it again.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37And again, left, right, come on.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40You three haven't got an ounce of brain between you.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42It's a good job you're almost extinct.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46'The senior inspecting officer was the adjutant.'

0:21:46 > 0:21:47Private Butler, sir.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Right, Private Butler, you look to be a huge monster.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53You're lopsided at the moment and all this chest

0:21:53 > 0:21:55that you should be showing off is being pushed forward.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58Pull yourself back, shoulders back. Pull them back.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Tuck the arms in there. That's better. Keep his foot back.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05That's a lot better. The hair needs a haircut, doesn't it?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Yes, sir.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09- By the end of the week. - Yes, sir.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Right, as soon as you've finished, when you go off the parade here,

0:22:12 > 0:22:15you must ensure that the beret is parallel to the ground.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17If it's sloping on the back of the head,

0:22:17 > 0:22:20you look one of those other units up the road, all right?

0:22:20 > 0:22:21- Yes, sir. - Kept on the front,

0:22:21 > 0:22:24showing off that badge proudly all the time.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Right, can you tell me the name of your officer commanding?

0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Um... - Private Stoner, sir.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34- How many VCs did we win during the last war?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37- What, the regiment itself, sir? - Yes.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38- Four, sir.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41'Wrong. But Sergeant Reilly extends a helping hand.'

0:22:41 > 0:22:42- Five, sir. - Right.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Can you name me the commanding officer of the depot?

0:22:45 > 0:22:49- The commanding officer is Lieutenant Colonel Boyce MBA, sir.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50- Very good, well done.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52- What made you join the Parachute Regiment,

0:22:52 > 0:22:53as opposed to another Regiment?

0:22:53 > 0:22:56- Because I wanted to fly, sir, jump out of the sky.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58- You want to fly, jump out of the sky?

0:22:58 > 0:23:02Why didn't you become a jet pilot?

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Because I wanted to...

0:23:04 > 0:23:06- Hm? Eh?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08- I just wanted to jump out of a plane, sir.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- That says you're not intelligent enough to be a jet pilot

0:23:11 > 0:23:14but you're daft enough to be a parachutist. That's why, is it?

0:23:14 > 0:23:15- Yes, sir.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17- What's the colour of the lanyon? - Red, sir.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21- Do you know what happened at Bruneval?

0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Er, Parachute Regiment got their honours there, sir.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27- What for?

0:23:27 > 0:23:28- Don't know, sir.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31'All Paras must know about Bruneval.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34'Date: February 1942.

0:23:34 > 0:23:35'Area: Northern France.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38'The first British airborne triumph of the war,

0:23:38 > 0:23:41'justifying the regiment's formation a year earlier,

0:23:41 > 0:23:45'and boosting the country's morale when victories were rare.

0:23:45 > 0:23:49' At night, behind enemy lines, a German radar station was captured

0:23:49 > 0:23:51'and brought home by 2 Para.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53'40 years later, heroes of Goose Green.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00- And after the show was over,

0:24:00 > 0:24:03a matter of about a couple of hours only,

0:24:03 > 0:24:06the return to the beach and the ships.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08We suffered only very light casualties

0:24:08 > 0:24:11and spirits were high as the men came aboard for the voyage home.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14Actual pictures of the homecoming, these.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16'Actual figures:

0:24:16 > 0:24:20'Two killed, six wounded, six missing, out of the 119 who jumped.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23- And here, more of the troops coming away,

0:24:23 > 0:24:24not empty-handed either,

0:24:24 > 0:24:26for they brought a number of German prisoners.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Certainly must have been an unpleasant surprise

0:24:29 > 0:24:32to be grabbed in the middle of the night and carried away captive.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35'Almost 40 years later, it was 480 Platoon

0:24:35 > 0:24:37'who got the unpleasant surprise.'

0:24:37 > 0:24:41- Your confidence on the questioning

0:24:41 > 0:24:46and also in your individual threes was not good.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49For that reason, you have not passed off the square.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Sergeant Reilly, carry on, please. - Aye, sir.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Turn! Turn! - Turn!

0:24:55 > 0:24:57- Fall out!

0:24:57 > 0:25:00- 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1...

0:25:00 > 0:25:03'The staff had never known this happen before.'

0:25:03 > 0:25:04- March into the accommodation.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14Keep quiet, Paulin!

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Paulin and Burns.

0:25:39 > 0:25:44- If he shouts out 'left turn', you don't ... turn right, do you?

0:25:44 > 0:25:46I mean, that's pathetic, that is.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48- All that training, you know,

0:25:48 > 0:25:51and all that marching and we never get anywhere.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53You know, it was all for nothing.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56- But why did you fail, do you think?

0:25:56 > 0:25:57- Er...

0:25:58 > 0:26:01I think we panicked a bit. Nerves.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05- Come on! I'll check you off outside. Just move out.

0:26:05 > 0:26:09'Over what might be described as a long, working weekend,

0:26:09 > 0:26:12'480 Platoon were forced to confess visually

0:26:12 > 0:26:17'and vocally to the depot at large that they were still crap hats.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21'Three days later, they made a second attempt to pass off the square.'

0:26:21 > 0:26:24- Eyes front!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Platoon will advance in review order.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32By the centre, quick march!

0:26:32 > 0:26:37One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

0:26:37 > 0:26:4011, 12, 13, 14, one, two.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47'On this occasion, Sergeant Reilly was able to approach the adjutant

0:26:47 > 0:26:48'with greater confidence.'

0:26:52 > 0:26:54- You have passed off the square.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Well done.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Main thing is, as Captain Mainwaring said, don't panic!

0:26:59 > 0:27:06And that goes for on the square here, as much as in the sentry box

0:27:06 > 0:27:11over there, when these hordes of the TV film crew are here, or when

0:27:11 > 0:27:15the general's there, flapping, trying to get past you without his car pass,

0:27:15 > 0:27:18or it's a very quiet IRA terrorist

0:27:18 > 0:27:20trying to slip a bomb through the door.

0:27:20 > 0:27:24That's the time when you as individuals must not panic.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Sergeant Reilly, carry on, please.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28- Thank you, sir.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Platoon, shun!

0:27:35 > 0:27:36- We did it!

0:27:37 > 0:27:39- Whoo!

0:27:39 > 0:27:42WHOOPING

0:27:47 > 0:27:50- Oh, I'm chuffed, dead chuffed with that.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53- So what difference does it make to you, now that you've passed?

0:27:53 > 0:27:57- Just...being able to wear the beret instead of them flipping caps.

0:27:57 > 0:27:59I don't like wearing them caps.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02- When you're out there parading with the red beret on,

0:28:02 > 0:28:04- they know who you are or what y'are.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07- Next stage is to get rid of that.

0:28:07 > 0:28:08The green backing.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11'They'd wear that tell-tale plastic backing

0:28:11 > 0:28:13'until they were ready for parachute training,

0:28:13 > 0:28:15'but that was two months away,

0:28:15 > 0:28:18'if they survived learning to be infantrymen

0:28:18 > 0:28:20'on the mountains in Wales in winter.

0:28:20 > 0:28:25'Meanwhile, 480 Platoon had moved in threes one step closer

0:28:25 > 0:28:27'to adoption by their new family.'

0:28:27 > 0:28:30- We got the words right, got the timing

0:28:30 > 0:28:32and the calling out right, and it was good.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Enjoyed it. Can wear the maroon machine now!

0:28:35 > 0:28:37The red beret.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44Eyes...

0:28:44 > 0:28:45right!