0:00:03 > 0:00:06CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Just coming from a little place like Ardoyne
0:00:17 > 0:00:21and then you come to something like this that you've never seen before,
0:00:21 > 0:00:22well, it's just a dream.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24And to actually get an apprenticeship
0:00:24 > 0:00:26at a club like Leeds United, it was brilliant.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30Miss it.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35CAR HORNS
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Ardoyne was home and to this day is still home, you know,
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'll still always refer to it as home.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49But I feel very comfortable here.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52It was an escape from that hostility that
0:00:52 > 0:00:56we experienced as kids in Ardoyne.
0:00:56 > 0:01:02In a sense, it has contributed a great deal to the way I am today.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Some people may have left Ardoyne and have never looked back,
0:01:09 > 0:01:15but, for me, it's still something that is core to who I am.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Holy Cross, Ardoyne,
0:01:18 > 0:01:20is a Catholic parish in north Belfast,
0:01:20 > 0:01:23which is bordered by Protestant areas.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Both sides of the community here have seen more suffering than most
0:01:27 > 0:01:30throughout the Troubles.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32'Growing up in that context gave me the drive
0:01:32 > 0:01:35'to try and make a difference. That's why I have chosen to work here,
0:01:35 > 0:01:38'particularly with young people in the community.'
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Whenever people hear about Ardoyne,
0:01:42 > 0:01:45they have a very one-dimensional stereotype, you know,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48that Ardoyne is a Republican stronghold.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I think there is a deeper and a much richer story
0:01:51 > 0:01:52to be told about this community,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55and that's reflected very much in the lives of the altar boys
0:01:55 > 0:01:57that I grew up with.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02These were boys who grew up together to be men who grew apart.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06The summer of 1969 changed our lives for ever.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Some chose opposite sides in the conflict.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Some left and never looked back.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Many of them went on to be very successful in their lives.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18For the first time in nearly 50 years,
0:02:18 > 0:02:22I want to track them down and bring them back together in Ardoyne.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I was aware of the fact that there was a cachet about
0:02:34 > 0:02:37being from Ardoyne, it was a place apart.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I wonder... what it would have been like
0:02:41 > 0:02:43to grow up in a normal place.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46In a sense, I regret that I didn't get that.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51When you consider we were all dealing with life and death
0:02:51 > 0:02:53on a daily basis...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I mean, that's not the average experience
0:02:56 > 0:02:58of an 11 and 12-year-old that's growing up.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Living in Ardoyne during the darkest days of the Troubles,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06people began to develop an island's mentality.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09There's a sense of
0:03:09 > 0:03:13here is something that all of us had in common at one stage,
0:03:13 > 0:03:16but from that common experience,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19people decided that they would go off in different paths
0:03:19 > 0:03:23that's led them into many different areas, throughout the world.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Hello, Gerard?
0:03:27 > 0:03:28'Yeah.'
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Gerard, it's Brian McKee here from up the Holy Cross...
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Hello?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34'Brian?'
0:03:34 > 0:03:37I tell you what it is, we've talked about a reunion
0:03:37 > 0:03:41of some of the fellows who were altar boys during the '60s...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Is there any way that you know
0:03:43 > 0:03:45that we might be able to get in touch with him?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Sure.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50But you're open to the idea?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51You're the next one...
0:03:51 > 0:03:55'I suppose my worries is that some people may choose not to take part
0:03:55 > 0:03:59'and that may be because of something in their personal story.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03'It may be because of something within someone else's story
0:04:03 > 0:04:04'who's coming together.'
0:04:05 > 0:04:08In the same garden there's so many different flowers.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12You know, and that's really what life's like, you know?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14We're not all going to be roses.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You might get a few jaggy nettles.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23When I was in the church here as an altar boy,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25it was all pure innocence.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29I still cherish the good memories
0:04:29 > 0:04:31and the happy days,
0:04:31 > 0:04:33the days of total joy.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36My father was a bricklayer
0:04:36 > 0:04:41and my mother was just a genius at everything.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44They were both active republicans.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47People might find this strange
0:04:47 > 0:04:52when I say every member of my family had been in a prison.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58It was one of the sad facts that you are a product of your environment
0:04:58 > 0:05:01and the environment we had here was such that...
0:05:02 > 0:05:05..if you didn't swim you'd sink.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I remember being over on the Falls Road.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12The RUC had come out
0:05:12 > 0:05:14and as they were coming down the street
0:05:14 > 0:05:17they were beating their riot shields with their batons,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20and the RUC man...
0:05:20 > 0:05:22spat at me...
0:05:22 > 0:05:24cowering in a doorway.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I was dragged out of the doorway and...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29the RUC man started slaughtering me.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35The bruises and all the thumps all healed,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37but that man and his language...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40..left a lasting scar.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I would say that I was involved in the republican struggle
0:05:48 > 0:05:49and I'd leave it at that.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53PRIEST CHANTS IN LATIN
0:05:53 > 0:05:57We all started off from a point of mutual understanding,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59which was we were altar boys.
0:06:01 > 0:06:06And yet, we all took several different paths.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I remember telling my mother and father
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I was contemplating joining the police.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Well, he just said, "Well, it's the lesser of two evils."
0:06:14 > 0:06:16He then came out and said then,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18"Well, it is better to be buried by the state
0:06:18 > 0:06:20"than to be buried by the IRA."
0:06:21 > 0:06:25To come from where I am to be a Catholic joining the RUC,
0:06:25 > 0:06:27I knew, once in it...
0:06:27 > 0:06:30there probably really was no...
0:06:30 > 0:06:31turning back.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35My life dramatically changed,
0:06:35 > 0:06:40where I was a civilian, 18 years of age,
0:06:40 > 0:06:45playing a bit of hurling, becoming a sworn officer with powers.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47I mean, I just wonder...
0:06:49 > 0:06:51..did anybody wonder where I went
0:06:51 > 0:06:55or did they know where I went, or... did they care where I went?
0:07:00 > 0:07:04How far did he get on in it? What was his rank?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- ALL YELL:- Prince Charles! Prince Charles!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- GERRY:- 'I am the head of the close protection branch,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13'the superintendent responsible for the protection of the Royal Family
0:07:13 > 0:07:15'while visiting Northern Ireland.'
0:07:15 > 0:07:17..Are these all your neighbours?
0:07:17 > 0:07:22I'm the longest-serving Catholic police officer.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Oh, that was an act of treachery.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35I'll just let it mellow around in my head for a while.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41We're not just products of the past but the past has made us what we are.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46As altar boys, we shared the same experiences growing up
0:07:46 > 0:07:48and had a common bond.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51But the events that were to come would change everything.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54These were people who made decisions at a particular point in time
0:07:54 > 0:07:57and that's part and parcel of the whole story of Ardoyne.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01You know, different paths, different people, different choices.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- There you go. - SEAN LAUGHS
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Well, good, that's a start anyway. Here we go...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- There's... - CATHAL LAUGHS
0:08:11 > 0:08:13..four fish on three hooks, not bad. Whoa!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Oh, look at that. - Oh, look. A wrasse.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21All I can say is, thanks be to God, they are very stupid fish.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23'Life is complicated.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25'You know, people report on Belfast,'
0:08:25 > 0:08:27they report on Ardoyne and it's all very simple.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30You know, bigots and terrorists
0:08:30 > 0:08:32and labels all over the place.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37It's not like that, it's human beings caught up in situations.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41First memories of Ardoyne are strange.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43But very aware, of course,
0:08:43 > 0:08:44when you looked out the window
0:08:44 > 0:08:46on the front of the house, what did you see? The church.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Holy Cross, Ardoyne, that was it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51It kind of then became the dominant symbol in my life.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55A lot of my friends would have been altar boys
0:08:55 > 0:08:57and Cathal, of course, was an altar boy too,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59leading the way, my older brother.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- ALL:- ..In the name of the Father, and of the Son
0:09:01 > 0:09:02and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04BELL TOLLS
0:09:04 > 0:09:08What I remember about it was the sense of camaraderie, fellowship...
0:09:09 > 0:09:15I don't recall ever being even remotely aware of anything improper
0:09:15 > 0:09:19in the attitude of priests to me or to anyone else that I knew of.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24We used to have unspoken competitions to see who could
0:09:24 > 0:09:26ring the bells the loudest.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29One judged one's peers
0:09:29 > 0:09:32by the ferocity with which you banged the bells.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34BELLS TOLL
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I might be imagining this, but I think I was good at it!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Cathal was a big messer.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45You know, you'd never have thought that he would have achieved so much.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46I would say about all the altar boys,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48there was no angels among them.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50They might have been good altar boys,
0:09:50 > 0:09:52but I don't think they were... they were angels.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55It was like a boys' club.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Although we were in the monastery, we never talked about religion.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03You know, we talked about football.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06As I was growing up, then we talked about girls.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11I do remember Sean at one stage had a little gang, as it were.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14You had to have a password to get in...
0:10:14 > 0:10:17And I could never keep remembering it,
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- so I didn't last very long. - HE GIGGLES
0:10:20 > 0:10:22We were all brought down one Sunday
0:10:22 > 0:10:25and shown this room which got called Australia
0:10:25 > 0:10:27cos it was underground...
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Uh, but there it was - a table tennis table!
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Who'd seen such a thing?!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34And it was for the altar boys.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38He always fancied himself as a bit of a table tennis player, so it'll be
0:10:38 > 0:10:42interesting to see just how much, how far he went along that career path.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44ALTAR BOYS SING HYMN
0:10:44 > 0:10:48One of the great perks of the altar boys was that,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51when you were on an early Mass in the morning,
0:10:51 > 0:10:56Brother Paschal made a large jug of lovely coffee.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59And obviously, he put the sugar into it and he put the milk...
0:11:01 > 0:11:04But even now, when I talk, I can actually taste the coffee...
0:11:04 > 0:11:09It was just amazing, I've never tasted coffee like it since.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11I think joining the altar was...
0:11:11 > 0:11:14It was a good thing cos when you were there, you know, there was
0:11:14 > 0:11:18somebody to talk to, to have a bit of craic with and stuff like that.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22The altar boys were a very close-knit set of friends
0:11:22 > 0:11:26and that's probably the strength of being an altar boy,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28was that you were part of something
0:11:28 > 0:11:30that was much bigger than yourself.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33It was an important role that you were playing...
0:11:33 > 0:11:35And these other people were your partners.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39RECORD PLAYER CLICKS
0:11:39 > 0:11:42MUSIC: We Shall Overcome by Joan Baez
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Little did we realise that that wonderful innocence of childhood
0:11:48 > 0:11:50was about to be taken away from us.
0:11:50 > 0:11:57Here we have the altar list for 17 August 1969,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59which was the weekend when, I suppose,
0:11:59 > 0:12:01mayhem broke out on the streets of Ardoyne.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04GUNFIRE
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Stay inside, OK, son?
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Sectarian rioting marked the beginning of a decades-long conflict
0:12:11 > 0:12:14that shaped the rest of our lives.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18# We shall overcome... #
0:12:18 > 0:12:20It was a strange feeling when you were growing up
0:12:20 > 0:12:22watching the whole thing unfold in front of you.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Part of it, you were scared, but also the excitement of it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:2910 years of age, it's almost as if, you know,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Indiana Jones had come to Ardoyne.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35# Oh, deep... #
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And it seemed to us that there was a riot outside the house for...
0:12:39 > 0:12:40..two or three years, nonstop.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44We closed the shutters in case the windows were broken
0:12:44 > 0:12:46and those shutters were never opened again,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48there was no daylight in that room ever again.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Fear, absolute fear.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53I was terrified.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55You could see through the skylight in my bedroom,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58the flames were leaping high and houses were being burnt, and...
0:12:59 > 0:13:02..I was just...terrified.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Shaking in the bed, just wanting this to be over.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08LOUD EXPLOSION
0:13:08 > 0:13:12# We shall overcome
0:13:12 > 0:13:16# Some day
0:13:16 > 0:13:23# Oh, deep in my heart
0:13:23 > 0:13:27# I do believe
0:13:27 > 0:13:29# That we shall...
0:13:29 > 0:13:36# ..Overcome some day. #
0:13:37 > 0:13:39It made me think that...
0:13:39 > 0:13:43the revolution was coming and, you know, prepare for the revolution.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Cos the situation wasn't in my control
0:13:51 > 0:13:54or really in any young person's control.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Fellas of the same age as me ended up behind bars.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Sometimes for doing nothing,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05and sometimes for doing perfectly awful things.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Um... It could have been me.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13I did join the local branch of the Fein.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17I think the local priest had seen me,
0:14:17 > 0:14:19so I was confronted by my father.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20And I left.
0:14:20 > 0:14:26So, my career as a freedom fighter was very, very short.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35You can't ignore it when it's coming into your own home,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37when it's YOUR family.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40I was interned on two occasions.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44It was another level of education for me,
0:14:44 > 0:14:46where I got a degree out of Long Kesh...
0:14:48 > 0:14:49The university of freedom.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57"We're right, they're wrong." I could never see it in those terms.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59It was never that clear.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Cos, I mean, the IRA, what they were up to, I couldn't relate to.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05I couldn't relate to it.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Innocent people were being killed.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I suppose I began to take refuge in the church.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12In the madness, that was a safe place.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14CHILDREN SING
0:15:14 > 0:15:20Maybe in and around that time the whole vocation thing was at work.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I had to escape.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Yeah.
0:15:23 > 0:15:29I was ordained in 1984 and then the next day, my first Mass in Ardoyne.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Very emotional time.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Are we altar boys or priests now, you know?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Yeah, I was going to go to Rome, live in Rome for three years,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I mean, that was just...
0:15:39 > 0:15:41It doesn't get any better.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45My daddy said, "A poor man from Belfast, look at me, look at us,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48"and here we are, we've just had Mass with the Pope!"
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Absolutely...beside themselves.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57There's always a sense with people, you know,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00that Ardoyne kind of punched above its weight.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03You know, that despite everything that went on there, you know,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06the Ardoyne people still managed to rise above it.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11All I can say with any certainty is that
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I was fortunate to meet certain people at certain times.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I didn't get arrested, I didn't get shot, I wasn't blown up.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I got a good education.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I was in the right place at the right time
0:16:24 > 0:16:29when the job of director general of RTE became advertised.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31For whatever reason, I was given the job
0:16:31 > 0:16:33and I stayed in it for seven years.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36This friend of mine rang me up after
0:16:36 > 0:16:38apparently my picture was on the front of the Irish News,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41and he said that it was the first time somebody from Ardoyne
0:16:41 > 0:16:43was on the front of the Irish News
0:16:43 > 0:16:45who wasn't the accused or the deceased.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51So, that-that's kind of playing into the stereotype of hard men
0:16:51 > 0:16:52and all that from Ardoyne.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58We were in difficult times, it was difficult circumstances,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00but we were trying...
0:17:00 > 0:17:03And we got a home fit for heroes.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09When Sinn Fein put itself into election gear,
0:17:09 > 0:17:11everybody started to sit back and notice.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14I'm proud enough to say that I was elected in that first wave
0:17:14 > 0:17:18of fresh new faces going into Belfast City Council.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I think it's...
0:17:21 > 0:17:24A lot of people have recognised that Sinn Fein are appealing
0:17:24 > 0:17:26across the nationalist divide.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31'Part of my daily work was heading up the North American desk
0:17:31 > 0:17:33'in Sinn Fein.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37'I had the pleasure of accompanying Gerry Adams
0:17:37 > 0:17:40'after the '94 ceasefire had been called,'
0:17:40 > 0:17:43and for whatever small part I played in it, I feel immensely proud.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48You know, unlike many of them, Gerard made the decision to stay in Ardoyne.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51A lot of people decided to get out quick
0:17:51 > 0:17:56and other people decided to get out, to go for a better lifestyle.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57'How are you?'
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Sean, how are you doing?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01This has taken about six weeks to track you down.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02'Oh, right.'
0:18:02 > 0:18:08The last time I saw you, is way back in the early '70s
0:18:08 > 0:18:13and you were this athletic-looking young man with black, combed hair
0:18:13 > 0:18:16with Brylcreem, with a suit and a shirt and a tie on,
0:18:16 > 0:18:18which is quite unusual in Ardoyne!
0:18:21 > 0:18:25I was playing football, sort of, every spare minute you've got.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28I was always determined that one way or another
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I was going to get a living out of it.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Look at that. Ain't that brilliant? Eh?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38It's big, isn't it? Your grampa used to play football here.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40That's where we used to come out
0:18:40 > 0:18:43cos that was the changing rooms over there.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45And then we used to come out onto the football pitch to play.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- But why?- Why? Because that's how... Gramp-gramp...
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Gramp-gramp got paid to play football.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53And it were really good.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Just to play with so many great players, just, you'd come off and
0:18:57 > 0:19:01I was on a high for, like, two or three days afterwards, it's just...
0:19:01 > 0:19:02It's just brilliant.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Everybody took a certain pride
0:19:05 > 0:19:08in that it was one of our boys, you know.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Wee lad from Ardoyne,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12going over to play for one of the biggest teams in the world.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14I know you can head the ball. Watch, head the ball.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Are you heading the ball? - SEAN LAUGHS
0:19:18 > 0:19:20You silly devil!
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Head the ba-a-a-all!
0:19:21 > 0:19:23'I think family's everything, isn't it, you know?'
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Are you having a beef burger? - OLLIE:- Yeah!
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Good lord, Ollie.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30'I came in June and my father died in the November.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36'He never saw me playing. I think it really...toughens you up.'
0:19:36 > 0:19:38There's not much worse going to happen in your life.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45He's still there, he's still part of you and it's...
0:19:48 > 0:19:49It doesn't go away.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Sorry.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05A boy will always want to, in some way, identify with his father
0:20:05 > 0:20:08and yet, will always fight with his father. It's what we do.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11What I had in common with Daddy was religion.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I wanted to please him.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Why did you leave the priesthood? In my case, it was because
0:20:16 > 0:20:20I had to grow up. It wasn't the right choice.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Saying Mass for the last time, I'd arrived at peace about this.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30And I just... He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35And he didn't really cope too well, at all, with it.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38The night that he died,
0:20:38 > 0:20:42we got into the emergency room. I approached him, right up,
0:20:42 > 0:20:43into his ear.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48And I told him, "I'm here. Dad. I'm going to give you absolution",
0:20:48 > 0:20:51which, of course, is the role of a priest.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55My brother said to me, "He opened his eyes, you know,
0:20:55 > 0:20:56"when you spoke to him."
0:20:59 > 0:21:03HE SNIFFLES AND SOBS
0:21:07 > 0:21:12The relationship had been fractured over the whole priesthood thing.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Somehow, then, the priesthood thing, kind of, mended it, at the end.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Hello, would that be Brendan?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26'Yes, it is, yes. How are you?'
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Brendan, it's Brian here. How are you doing?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Great to hear you.- 'I'm doing good.'
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I think he's one of the guys who, when he left, he didn't come back
0:21:34 > 0:21:37and seems to be someone who's very much at the top of the tree
0:21:37 > 0:21:39in his own profession.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Brendan trained as both a dentist and a doctor in Belfast,
0:21:42 > 0:21:45before emigrating to America.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49'I am an assistant clinical professor.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52'My main interest is in trauma. People that have been in
0:21:52 > 0:21:55'car accidents or the victims of trauma to the face,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58'I would be involved in their reconstruction.'
0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Lower right. - I can do a triage for you.- OK.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Tell me about the patient.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09He's...healthy, for the most part, except for psychiatric medications.
0:22:09 > 0:22:15Part of my job' demands that I do have to have a resilience.
0:22:15 > 0:22:21'Those early days in Ardoyne were very formative in developing that.'
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- How old is he?- 46.- Wow. - Yeah, so, actually...
0:22:25 > 0:22:29'In Belfast, I saw some horrendous things.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32'I remember being in the Royal Victoria one night
0:22:32 > 0:22:35'when a police officer came in.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37'A mortar bomb had exploded over his head'
0:22:37 > 0:22:41and I remember lifting the tea towel and there was chunks of his brain
0:22:41 > 0:22:44sticking to the tea towel, you know?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46So, you don't forget that.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- There you go. - Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50All right. Good job.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02It's going to be a celebration of all the altar boys.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04How do you feel about going back to Belfast
0:23:04 > 0:23:06and then meeting the altar boys?
0:23:06 > 0:23:13It's going to be excellent, because I haven't seen any of these people
0:23:13 > 0:23:17that I served Mass with, in...
0:23:18 > 0:23:19..40 years, you know?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22It is going to be great. I'm looking forward to it,
0:23:22 > 0:23:26because we've all gone in very, very different directions.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38They'll not recognise themselves.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44'It'll be interesting to meet these guys and to see, is there something
0:23:44 > 0:23:47'that we identify as a shared trait. Are we all thick bastards
0:23:47 > 0:23:51'or is there something far more meaningful behind it all?'
0:23:54 > 0:23:57'I haven't been in the Ardoyne since I joined the police.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00'I have no idea how I will feel.'
0:24:02 > 0:24:05'I hope he can sleep easy with himself
0:24:05 > 0:24:08'and it doesn't come back and cause him any sleepless nights.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10'I fear it might.'
0:24:12 > 0:24:14'I'll try not to judge him too harshly.'
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Are they still the same bells? - They are, yes.- Can I?
0:24:22 > 0:24:23RINGING
0:24:23 > 0:24:26You was never ever any good at ringing the bells!
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- How are you?- Great. - You haven't changed a bit.- Oh!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33How are you all? You're all looking well.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37I have this memory of you playing football up in the playing fields.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41I'm glad somebody's got a memory because I can't remember yesterday!
0:24:41 > 0:24:42How are you?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44You're very welcome.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48- You're very welcome.- Thank you. - Do you know any of these bandits?
0:24:48 > 0:24:49Cal, of course!
0:24:49 > 0:24:50LAUGHTER
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Gerry, how are you doing?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Gerard, how are you doing?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I've perhaps been your nemesis in times gone by.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- LAUGHTER - Absolutely.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Well, I'm now chairperson of the PSNI club...
0:25:01 > 0:25:03The dirtiest team in the league, the PSNI.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05More suspensions than anybody else.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07It's the only time you get a chance to kick a peeler!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09So, it's of benefit!
0:25:09 > 0:25:12What's this assertion that I was late all the time?!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I want to see this.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16The nearest one to the church and he's late.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Obviously, my mother used to say that -
0:25:18 > 0:25:22"The nearest the church, the further from God."
0:25:22 > 0:25:24LAUGHTER
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Your mother was very wise, wasn't she?!- She was right!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30There's a resemblance, you know, when you were a child.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33When I walked in there, I says, "I know this person."
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Would you have a few hours free
0:25:35 > 0:25:38- tomorrow afternoon, do a wee bit of...- Oh!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Oh, I couldn't... - Just have them out. Be easier!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44No, you wouldn't want me to do your dentistry.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48I had to do surgery because I was a lousy dentist, you see?
0:25:48 > 0:25:52LAUGHTER
0:25:52 > 0:25:55It is strange that we all started off here as altar boys
0:25:55 > 0:25:58and then we've all grown bad. I ended up in the Special Patrol Group
0:25:58 > 0:26:00- in Tennant Street. - Not my favourite people!
0:26:00 > 0:26:05No, no, but I always thought of myself as one of the good guys.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10'Often, there is a need for reconciliation within communities.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12'There needs to be the acknowledgement
0:26:12 > 0:26:15'and the acceptance that people did choose different paths.'
0:26:16 > 0:26:21Did you not recognise that there was violence coming from the RUC?
0:26:21 > 0:26:25I found it so remarkable to hear that there was an altar boy
0:26:25 > 0:26:28who'd served at the altar in Ardoyne who had went on to join it.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32I'll be the first to hold my hand up and say
0:26:32 > 0:26:36the RUC wasn't lily-white, but there were a lot of good
0:26:36 > 0:26:41and honourable men and women in the RUC. Maybe I was naive,
0:26:41 > 0:26:46but I honestly believed I was doing something good.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48If you were inside that police organisation
0:26:48 > 0:26:52and you were looking out, some of the things we were doing,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55we actually thought, "We're doing it right."
0:26:55 > 0:26:59It's amazing there that I am sitting here with you.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01To disagree over...
0:27:01 > 0:27:05- And to disagree and to be able to walk away without violence...- Yes.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08..but, by God, what a path you have come upon
0:27:08 > 0:27:10but what a path I have come upon.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Tonight is a very special night, because we celebrate this Mass
0:27:20 > 0:27:26for the reunion of our altar servers and boys. Well, traditionally...
0:27:26 > 0:27:30'42 years after joining the police, coming through the most horrendous
0:27:30 > 0:27:36'violence in Northern Ireland, I, for one, am just so grateful
0:27:36 > 0:27:39'and, actually, thank God that I am alive.'
0:27:39 > 0:27:40RINGING
0:27:42 > 0:27:44'I think you've just got to,
0:27:44 > 0:27:47'as granny says, to thine ownself be true.'
0:27:49 > 0:27:51'No matter what you do, you've got to be lucky.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55'If you get a little bit of luck, take everything that comes your way
0:27:55 > 0:27:57'and enjoy it.'
0:27:59 > 0:28:03'Not everything has been perfect, but...it's been true.
0:28:03 > 0:28:04'It's been life.'
0:28:07 > 0:28:10'There was something that was very good about being in a place
0:28:10 > 0:28:13'with such a strong sense of parish and belonging
0:28:13 > 0:28:17'and, even after the Troubles broke out, you had this bond with people.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19'There is that kind of sense,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22'you can't get away from where you come from.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24'It's always going to be part and parcel of who you are.'
0:28:26 > 0:28:28'I'm from Ardoyne.'
0:28:29 > 0:28:31'That's all right.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33'That means something.'
0:28:34 > 0:28:38They know how to look after themselves in Ardoyne!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41CHOIR SINGS