0:00:12 > 0:00:19It says on Friday, finger and toe nails should be cut on the same day.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21So will you cut your nails then today?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23- He eats them.- I bite my nails, I don't cut them.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25He's disgusting, he bites his nails.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29But if you've already bitten your nails, you don't need to cut them?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31There's nothing to cut!
0:00:31 > 0:00:36Nobody can become a ten-minute Jew, it takes weeks and weeks and months
0:00:36 > 0:00:39and months of study and learning and understanding these laws.
0:00:39 > 0:00:47It's so vastly away from your way of life, that you would have no understanding of it whatsoever.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48I could try.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Stamford Hill, London,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03just a few miles northeast from the heart of the capital.
0:01:06 > 0:01:12It's home to a devoutly religious community of around 20,000 Hasidic Jews.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17And it's the largest of its kind in Europe.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21The Hasidim live by an extraordinarily
0:01:21 > 0:01:28detailed set of ancient commandments that have their roots in the Torah.
0:01:28 > 0:01:35Stamford Hill is a bewildering blend of biblical law and modern day life.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40And for the next few months, it was to be my home.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56One of Stamford Hill's most outspoken residents is Gaby Lock,
0:01:56 > 0:02:03a retired teacher, who now dedicates several hours a day to learning the Torah and Jewish law.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Slander, vengeance and bearing a grudge,
0:02:06 > 0:02:12rules concerning physical wellbeing, things forbidden because they are dangerous, laws concerning charity.
0:02:12 > 0:02:17This is the code of Jewish law and this was made by Shlomo Ganzfried, it's called the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch
0:02:17 > 0:02:22and it's really just basic laws, it doesn't discuss how a law came about from where.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25But these are the laws you live your life by?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26That you live your life by.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29And they're based on the 613...?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31613 Mitzvot commandments.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- 613 commandments?- Commandments.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Are they loosely based on, sorry, the ten commandments?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40They are loosely based on the ten commandments.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45The salting of meat, eating and drinking before the regular meals, laws concerning meals.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49See, everything is controlled. The way... How you go to toilet,
0:02:49 > 0:02:54whether your toilet's permitted, a communal toilet, would it be
0:02:54 > 0:02:58permitted, is it embarrassing, or do you not have it embarrassing?
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Everything is controlled.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02For instance, you're not allowed to... If you...
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Well, excuse my English, but you're not allowed to fart
0:03:05 > 0:03:07with tefillin, with the phylacteries on your head.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11The laws of circumcision, the redemption of the first born, the training of children,
0:03:11 > 0:03:15a menorah, put on a woman's garment and vice-versa, laws concerning new
0:03:15 > 0:03:18crops, the separation of the first portion of the dough.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22And how much of your life have you dedicated to studying these laws?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Most of it.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26My wife's coming in.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Oh. Should I put the camera down?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Please can we stop it again, stop a bit. Hello?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Will she not want to be in the film? - No, she doesn't mind. - Oh, can I say hello?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Sit down. Sit down.- Oh, sorry, I'm not sure I should shake hands.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- No, no, it's fine. - No, you don't, it's too late!
0:03:40 > 0:03:47- No harm is done.- Well, you see you can't, you can't always, it's not... It doesn't... It's the intent.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51- What? Oh.- You see some people think that shaking hands is such a terrible
0:03:51 > 0:03:54thing, but it's not really the shaker, it's the intent.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'm so sorry, but I shouldn't...
0:03:57 > 0:04:02In Hasidic life, the man... I shouldn't shake hands with a woman, is that right?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- No, they shouldn't have any physical contact.- Physical contact.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07No physical contact? I'm very sorry.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Don't worry, I'll forgive you. How should you know?
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Do you think...? This is the first time we've done some filming and
0:04:13 > 0:04:15we're going to be filming for a few months in the area.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Do you think you'd be able to guide us around the area?
0:04:17 > 0:04:18- No.- Why, why not?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Because everybody's very, very secretive,
0:04:21 > 0:04:27because they always think about the children they have to marry off, what will harm their name.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29And that's not important.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33We haven't got that problem, we've got two children, they're married
0:04:33 > 0:04:39and blow it all, we just say what we like, especially my husband!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44One of the most important commandments of all is to get
0:04:44 > 0:04:52married, and most Hasidic people marry young, at around 19 or 20.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Can I ask a question? If it's too personal, just say.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56But you, you've been married, erm...?
0:04:56 > 0:05:03- 40 years.- Wow. What did you feel, that you felt attraction and you felt compatibility?
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- I don't know, I don't know what it was.- He was very stupid.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I was 24, 24-and-a-half. - You were a little boy.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Yeah, I was a little boy then and I didn't really want to get married.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14I was scared of him.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Really?- Yeah,
0:05:17 > 0:05:18I was pretty scared.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23I tried to put off the going to bed, put it off as long as possible.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25I was scared of it, stiff.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Yeah, and then made a holy mess of it.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30We won't go into details!
0:05:40 > 0:05:46Living in Stamford Hill, it's not unusual to be invited to as many as 100 weddings a year.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Later that week, Gaby and Tikwah were invited to a wedding by an old
0:05:55 > 0:06:01friend from the neighbourhood, and to my surprise he was happy for me to come along too.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- What's your name? - My name is Avi Bresler.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11- Right.- I live in Stamford Hill, I came here 21 years ago. I got married
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- to Israeli girl who came here a few years before me.- OK.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16And we have five children.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Today is the day that my oldest is getting married.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- OK, and how old is he?- He's 20.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- How do you feel about him getting married?- Very excited.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Really?- Yes.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- This is their grandmother, she's my wife's mother.- Oh, hello.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Hello.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34That's my mother, from Israel came.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Mazel tov.- Mazel tov, mazel tov.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42SHE SPEAKS HEBREW
0:06:42 > 0:06:44You should be able to come, it's Hebrew.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46It's Hebrew? Sorry, I don't speak Hebrew.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51- She wish she would be able to come loads of things, lots of weddings and be happy.- OK.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56My brother-in-law from Israel.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Hello.- Hello.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03HE SPEAKS HEBREW
0:07:03 > 0:07:06My first Hasidic wedding.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10THEY CHANT IN HEBREW
0:07:15 > 0:07:20Avi's son, Yitchak Meir, is 20 and works at his father's grocery shop.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26He met his bride six months ago working behind the till.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33But, in accordance with Jewish law, they've avoided all physical contact.
0:07:38 > 0:07:45Once married, the couple still won't be able to touch until the end of the night, during the last dance.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46THEY CHANT IN HEBREW
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Smash it. Mazel tov, mazel tov!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Some of them are praying now, the second prayer of the day. - Will you do that as well?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Yes, I'm going to join them now. - And enjoy your cigarette?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Yes, that's right, yes, of course, pressure.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Pressure?- Yes.
0:08:36 > 0:08:41After the ceremony, Avi had put on a big meal for all his guests.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47The hall was divided into two, because under Jewish law,
0:08:47 > 0:08:51men and women are forbidden from mixing at public events...
0:08:51 > 0:08:54even for the dancing.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:06 > 0:09:08There's nothing in this entire world
0:09:08 > 0:09:15bigger and greater and more enjoying than a real Jewish heartfelt simcha.
0:09:15 > 0:09:22Simcha means a wedding, you can feel it in the spirit, in the air, how much people are loving and...
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I feel ecstatic, I feel it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37I'd anticipated something more serious, more sombre, from such devoutly religious people.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45This wasn't what I'd expected at all.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- I drank too much, I cannot stand up. I drank too much.- Be careful.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06My head is like that.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22As the night went on, Gaby seemed to withdraw a little.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29What did he make of the party and it's host, Avi Bresler?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- Hello.- Good day. Come in.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58- Hello.- After you've been filming Mr Bresler's wedding.- That's right.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- I didn't enjoy it.- Why not?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02It's so queer.
0:11:02 > 0:11:09It's people from Yemen, they come from a total different background, and people from Eastern Europe.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11It's just...
0:11:11 > 0:11:17- It was queer. I saw Mr Bresler this morning. - Did you?- Yeah.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I said, "Is the young couple happy?"
0:11:19 > 0:11:22"Yes, thank God, yes." I said, "That's the main thing."
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Yeah. He's a really nice guy, Avi.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28He's sweet. Made a bit of a mess of his life,
0:11:28 > 0:11:30what can you do?
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Did you find it moving, the wedding, did you enjoy it?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I don't get emotionally involved.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40I liked it very much when I saw them, the other people happy, but
0:11:40 > 0:11:45I'm not really... I look at happiness completely as a different thing, it's an inside thing of happiness.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Happiness is not something just when you dance around like a nutcase, that's not happiness, and there was
0:11:49 > 0:11:54a bit, in my eyes, a bit wild dancing and some people expressed their happiness.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58I was very pleased for Avi, he's marrying off his child, because he sees a future and I hope the marriage
0:11:58 > 0:12:03is a successful one, but in a marriage they have to understand...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06FOOD PROCESSOR WHIRRS LOUDLY
0:12:08 > 0:12:09She's upstaged you.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- Sorry.- Sorry's no good, you've done, you've ruined it.- What did she do?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22She put on the machine when I was talking, how can anybody hear what I'm saying?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25You were in mid-flow, Gaby, let's go back in.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29- Oh, dear.- Marriage is like... God, that's what God's aim was
0:12:29 > 0:12:32on this world, two different people get together and try to build a life.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36The idea is to make one person of them, the more one you make out of
0:12:36 > 0:12:41your unity of marriage, the more one you are and the more love there is and that's what real love is about.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46Love is not about... When you get married first you love yourself, but then you learn that love is not
0:12:46 > 0:12:53loving yourself, loving your partner, loving your partner and being in love has nothing to do with the physical,
0:12:53 > 0:12:57it's a spiritual connection which you feel near to each other.
0:12:57 > 0:13:02It's also practiced through physical, but it is mostly a spiritual connection.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Do you not have lunch together?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Ask him.- I eat when...I feel hungry.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I don't eat every day at exactly the same time.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15That's why you're fat!
0:13:15 > 0:13:20- What?- That's why he's fat, because he goes for sweet things.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- He eats too many sweet things?- Yeah.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24And he doesn't eat at the right time?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I make him salads, he doesn't come,
0:13:27 > 0:13:29what shall I do?
0:13:29 > 0:13:30I eat whatever's there, I don't...
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Food is not my life, "What am I going to have tonight, what for supper?"
0:13:34 > 0:13:38What's there, I eat it when I'm hungry. Until I'm hungry, I don't eat.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40If my body tells me it's hungry, then I eat.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45I don't have to have three meals a day because somebody has decided breakfast, dinner, supper.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56Although not unheard of, divorce is rare among Hasidic people.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06PHONE RINGS
0:14:06 > 0:14:11Even more unusually, Avi Bresler is separated from his wife
0:14:11 > 0:14:16and lives alone in a gated residence on the outskirts of the community.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Is that what you do every morning, you wash your hands?- That's right.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Is that the law?- Yeah.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35How many times are you meant to wash your hands?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Three times each hand.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41And it's in order - right, left, right, left, right, left.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Right, left, right, left, right, left?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Why do you do that? - That's what it says in the book.
0:14:55 > 0:15:00You brainwashed as a little kid, from when you are two years old, to do it every morning.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I mean, of course, you feel clean after that.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05It's in your mind, like, it's...
0:15:07 > 0:15:13It's above the understanding place what is in there, where it is, it's like inside, deep, deep inside,
0:15:13 > 0:15:16you know you are clean, you don't think, you know. TELEPHONE RINGS
0:15:16 > 0:15:19How was the wedding for you? How did it, how did it make you feel?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Because it was lively, right?- It was very, it was very lively, yeah.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26There were a lot of people in the town who know me, then come to make my son happy,
0:15:26 > 0:15:31my son is working in the shop, so they came to make him happy.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35He's got many customers who come in and everybody came to wish him congratulations,
0:15:35 > 0:15:38they were all helping in the dancing and stuff.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Avi is a father of five.
0:15:42 > 0:15:48His second son, Toli, has just returned from five years of religious studies in Israel.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52He's come back to work in his dad's property business.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55MUSIC PLAYS IN CAR STEREO
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- So Toli, how old are you?- I am 19.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- You're 19?- Yeah, I am.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03So you're Avi's second oldest?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Second oldest, that's right.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Unless there's some more I don't know about.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I'm joking.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- Is he a good dad?- Yeah. I think he's the best dad, seriously.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Is he like a friend as well? - Yeah, he is.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18It's not he's like a friend, he IS a friend.
0:16:20 > 0:16:28At 19, and with his older brother married off, Avi has decided it's time to find a match for Toli.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Hello, yes, hello.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- Yes, I am the owner. - I've just met your son.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Oh, what do you think of him?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- He's a good lad. - A good lad, he is a good lad.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40When he sleeps he's very good.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Hello? I understand and where's the water going? And where's the water leading to?
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Hello, hello?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48We'll need to talk to a few matchmakers to get him out of the way.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52What sort of woman would suit him, do you think?
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Ah, whatever makes a good wife, I don't know.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59A young girl, good behaviour,
0:16:59 > 0:17:02a girl who has got a bit of brain.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Hello, yes, I'm with you.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08You know, I'll be there in, like, five or ten minutes, all right?
0:17:08 > 0:17:11No problem, see you, bye.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15- Toli works for you?- Yeah, I'm trying to get him into the business. - Into the property business?
0:17:15 > 0:17:19So how's he doing? How is he doing?
0:17:19 > 0:17:24At the moment, everything he's touching is not working. I'm joking! HE LAUGHS
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Bye bye. Bye, see you.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Bye, see you later, take care.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Take care.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Do you really think he's ready to get married?
0:17:36 > 0:17:44Yeah. At 18 and a half, 19, it's time to start looking for a match.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54OK, so, what else do I need to know about your son?
0:17:54 > 0:17:55So what's he doing? He's working?
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Ah, he's working for me now in property management.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02OK, what does that mean? What's he doing, because it could be anything?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Ah, he's managing my properties,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- collecting rent.- Right, OK.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11What, what sort of personality, I mean I would like to meet him at some stage, I think, or even
0:18:11 > 0:18:13to talk to him on the phone, to find out what he's like.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Sure.- What would you say his personality is like?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18He's a very, very nice guy, he's very generous.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23I'm sure he's nice, he's your son! No, what's he like, is he quiet, is he loud, is he...?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- He's quiet, he's shy.- He's shy.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30How would you describe the level that he learns at?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Is he a good learner, or is he average?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Ah, he is.- He's clever?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- He's very clever, yeah.- Right, right.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Very smart.- Uh-huh. So, um...
0:18:38 > 0:18:43He's definitely built to work, but he's learning, he's very into the Torah.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48- Right, OK, fine.- I've got a picture if that will tell you anything.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51OK. Can't really tell...
0:18:51 > 0:18:54My first son just got married a couple of months ago,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56so the picture's from the wedding.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Oh, let's see. Very nice.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Um, how can I put this?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07It shouldn't be a problem for him.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12The only thing is, most of the girls who come to me are university-educated girls,
0:19:12 > 0:19:15it's not so much the, you know...
0:19:15 > 0:19:19I don't get so much the type of girl that you'd be looking for.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22One very important factor for you to know,
0:19:22 > 0:19:25I was convicted for money laundering a few years ago,
0:19:25 > 0:19:29and I spent four a half years in jail.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31So some families, it may not be suitable...
0:19:31 > 0:19:35They need to know in advance, there's no comebacks, "Why didn't you tell me?"
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Right.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47It's maybe a, what do you call it...?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Like a bad mark, but it's a bad mark
0:19:49 > 0:19:52out of a lot of good stuff, it's not...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55The good side will cover for it!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Mmm.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- I was in prison four and a half years.- For money laundering?
0:20:03 > 0:20:08- That's right.- And what was the money used for, the dirty money?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Ah, it was used to... The money came from Class A drugs.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15It was shipped to Colombia,
0:20:15 > 0:20:18to buy probably some more cocaine, or whatever.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22And how much money was laundered?
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Ah, according to the prosecution, 6.5 million, just over £6.5 million.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- Was that right, the right figure? - I don't know!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40How did you manage to find a wife for your oldest son?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Where did she come from?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Ah, my first son is working for me.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I've got three grocery shops in Stamford Hill,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I'm a partner in them, and he's working there.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52And he met a girl by serving on the till!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I see! That might be how you're going to find someone for this son,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58because I think it's going to be very difficult
0:20:58 > 0:20:59for me to phone up someone and say,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02"Right, would you like to explain all the facts?"
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Because I don't know you at all.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06In Stamford Hill, everybody knows me.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I'm sure they do, it's just I'm not from Stamford Hill,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11so you're out of my area.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18Well, you take the first left here, and the second corner on the right, the corner house.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22No, I don't know. Amazingly, I don't know everyone on the street!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Do you know Daniel?- No, no.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Just round the corner here.- No, no.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Your son is a bit out of the box,
0:21:29 > 0:21:33so I think it's not going to be an easy one to find someone.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I'll be honest with you, I'm prepared to compensate in that way.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40For example, with the previous daughter-in-laws that I've taken,
0:21:40 > 0:21:47I've paid all the expenses from the wedding, the lot. Dressing gown...
0:21:47 > 0:21:51- There's a lid for the bottle, they say.- Oh, sure, sure.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56I want to feel that I've done my best, that I tried...
0:21:56 > 0:22:00He's a very special boy, if you see him, if you get to know him.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- I would like to meet him.- I'm not saying it because I'm his father.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08Yeah, OK. Um...yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10OK.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Thank you very much.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Thank you. I appreciate it.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Thanks, bye-bye. Bye.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26I had a bit of a shock when he announced that he'd been in prison.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28It threw me completely, and I did have a shock.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Did you launder the money?
0:22:30 > 0:22:34No, it was a conspiracy, I had a part in a conspiracy
0:22:34 > 0:22:38which I allowed to use my office to receive and collect money.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42I hope it was all right with him, I hope it didn't offend him in any way.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Um, I've never come across this before at all,
0:22:46 > 0:22:47so it was very difficult for me.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51- So, you just housed it? - That's right, yeah.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Um, did you know a lot about what the money was being used for?
0:22:55 > 0:23:00Not really but, ah, the money had some dirty smell!
0:23:00 > 0:23:04I suppose, on reflection, you know, it shouldn't be something
0:23:04 > 0:23:05that will be held against his son,
0:23:05 > 0:23:08but unfortunately, in the Jewish community,
0:23:08 > 0:23:10it's a small community, people will know about this,
0:23:10 > 0:23:12people will judge accordingly.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15The whole package disturbs a bit, there's no question about it,
0:23:15 > 0:23:17but there's a lot of good sides to us.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20People know Avi Bresler, people love Avi Bresler,
0:23:20 > 0:23:25Avi Bresler's got no enemies, people respect him for what he is.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29And I think that covers a lot.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Avi's had a hard bringing-up, his father died when he was only seven.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Avi didn't have the father, the background,
0:23:50 > 0:23:53drifted into bad company, bad behaviour. And really, you sometimes
0:23:53 > 0:23:56get people for manslaughter don't get a nine-year sentence,
0:23:56 > 0:24:00and it caused him to drift away from the original marriage.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03And his wife wants to stay to him, but he's sort of learned
0:24:03 > 0:24:07different ways, or enjoyments, in life, which are very sad.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10And, he likes, loves, his children,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13but he wants to stick to the new rules he's learnt,
0:24:13 > 0:24:16and once you learn a new rule, you get used to it, it's very hard.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21I don't want to go into details, but anybody who understands, understands what I mean.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25- And this has caused the marriage to drift apart.- Not the Hasidic way?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Not the religious way. Not not the Hasidic way, not the religious way.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31But what do you expect? Our prisons are full of these kind of people,
0:24:31 > 0:24:35they're loaded with these people, who come from the oldest kind of backgrounds,
0:24:35 > 0:24:40so of course you learn bad ways. The Government alone admits that prison is the best school,
0:24:40 > 0:24:43the best college for educating thieves and everything else,
0:24:43 > 0:24:46and it's for all kind of behaviour.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59A week later, I was off with Avi and some of his friends to the Ukraine,
0:24:59 > 0:25:03for one of the biggest dates in the Jewish calendar -
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Rosh Hashanah, New Year.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Look at this shop with all this alcohol.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- Can you have a drink here?- Yes.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29I can drink vodka, whisky. Don't need to be kosher.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30- And beer?- Beer, yes.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- You OK?- Yep.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Hold on, something for charity, a donation for charity.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Oh, I've got to go this way for now, I'll try and catch you later.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47For one week of every year,
0:25:47 > 0:25:54the town of Uman is taken over by tens of thousands of Hasidim.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57It's one of the biggest festivals of its kind anywhere in the world.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11The Stamford Hill posse!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13That's right, we're Stamford Hill boys!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15The Stamford Hill boys are here!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17How amazing.
0:26:17 > 0:26:22HE SINGS
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I'm so excited.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29We've got some bunk beds. It's probably going to be...
0:26:29 > 0:26:31It's the second time in my life I sleep on a bunk bed.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33The previous time was in prison!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37As you see, everyone's wearing white down there.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Why are they wearing that?
0:26:39 > 0:26:45Erm, white is a colour for clean of sins, God forgives us.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Once Rosh Hashanah begins, there are very strict rules about
0:26:51 > 0:26:54what festival-goers can and cannot do.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Since the festival started, do not put off cigarettes.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05You're not allowed to put off. You can just leave it on the side,
0:27:05 > 0:27:07but not put off. Not light, not put off.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09So they have to keep smoking?
0:27:09 > 0:27:12No, no, you can just leave it on the side, put it in an ashtray,
0:27:12 > 0:27:14or not put it off. Like you cannot light also.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18You can light from one to another, from a candle, but not light the fire.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20I want to count the money next to you.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22If you count it, then you keep it.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26- Are you not allowed to keep money? - That's right, no.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28- Why not?- Because it's against the law to hold the money.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32- OK, that's one.- How much is here?
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Ah, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40,
0:27:34 > 0:27:4145, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95, 2,000. £2,200...
0:27:42 > 0:27:46..500 and 1,080 grivna!
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- I want to give you my passport. - Oh, my God!
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Patrick, if you want, we've got tons of Haribos,
0:27:53 > 0:27:58chocolates, peanut chews, crackers, a suitcase which Avi brought,
0:27:58 > 0:28:02full of nosh from his shop. We've got ready-made meals,
0:28:02 > 0:28:04- you just have to put hot water. - So I can have any of that?
0:28:04 > 0:28:07You can have whatever you want. You're part of the member now.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15He cannot light by himself, he's taking light from me.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27The Hasidim make the yearly pilgrimage to visit
0:28:27 > 0:28:33the grave of Rabbi Nachman, a key figure of the Hasidic branch
0:28:33 > 0:28:38of Orthodox Judaism, who died a little over 200 years ago.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Nachman promised he would save those followers from Hell
0:28:45 > 0:28:47who came to his grave at New Year.
0:29:13 > 0:29:14Rabbi Nachman?
0:29:54 > 0:29:59Seeing Avi at the grave reminded me how important his faith was to him.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06Later that night, we attended a meal
0:30:06 > 0:30:09prepared for the Stamford Hill party.
0:30:10 > 0:30:11No, no.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15THEY SING
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- How are you, Avi?- I'm cool, man!
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- Are you having a good night? - Yeah, yeah, of course!
0:30:27 > 0:30:29Where are we going?
0:30:33 > 0:30:35'It had been a long day for Avi,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38'and prayers were due to begin again at first light.'
0:30:43 > 0:30:46- You tired, Avi?- I'm all right.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00SNORING
0:31:02 > 0:31:04THEY PRAY
0:31:11 > 0:31:14You see, everyone's going to the synagogues to pray now,
0:31:14 > 0:31:19people wake up early and we try to pray all day and not to sleep,
0:31:19 > 0:31:22because they say if you sleep during this day,
0:31:22 > 0:31:25you're going to have a sleepy year.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28SNORING
0:31:37 > 0:31:39- I feel a bit guilty.- Why?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42I should have been going to pray now, on this holy day,
0:31:42 > 0:31:46and I'm standing here like an idiot, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50I'm sure God will understand me.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58- Having fun?- Yeah, I love it here.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02'Avi is 41.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05'Most of his roommates were in their mid to late-20s,
0:32:05 > 0:32:06'and all of them were single.'
0:32:08 > 0:32:12There are not many guys here that are married, right?
0:32:12 > 0:32:16- Most of the guys here with us now... - In our apartment, yes.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- That's right. - That's quite unusual, isn't it?
0:32:18 > 0:32:23- Normally people guys are married a bit younger? - They're a bit of the troublemakers!
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Let Bradley answer for that!
0:32:26 > 0:32:30- These are the troublemakers? - Yeah, most of them!
0:32:30 > 0:32:35You're not meant to have sex outside of a marriage, are you?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Bonk!
0:32:39 > 0:32:41- Leave me out of it!- Avi!
0:32:41 > 0:32:43- What do you mean, leave you out of it?!- I'm off!
0:32:43 > 0:32:46Where you going? What's your situation?
0:32:46 > 0:32:48I can't have this discussion!
0:32:48 > 0:32:50'Avi's still married,
0:32:50 > 0:32:54'but has now been separated from his wife for over four years.'
0:32:54 > 0:32:56When did you start to realise that
0:32:56 > 0:32:59it wasn't right for you and your wife?
0:32:59 > 0:33:01On the very first night.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05But I was too young. I didn't have a father,
0:33:05 > 0:33:07I was orphaned from Father's side,
0:33:07 > 0:33:10I didn't have a father to ask him questions,
0:33:10 > 0:33:12what is right, what is wrong.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14And I knew that the wedding cost a lot of money
0:33:14 > 0:33:16and both families happy that I got married.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19I didn't want to break everybody's heart, so I thought,
0:33:19 > 0:33:23"I got married, stick to what you've got, be happy and continue life."
0:33:23 > 0:33:26- So, the first night you knew it wasn't right?- Yes.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29How did you know on the first night?
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Ah, it's not really nice to discuss it.- OK.- It's private.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36So, that very first night you knew it wasn't right,
0:33:36 > 0:33:39but yet you stayed together for how many years?
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Stayed together for about 16, 17 years.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48- That must have been difficult. - It was.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50It's difficult for me and for her.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54I mean, if I feel like that, she feels what I feel also,
0:33:54 > 0:33:55that's not easy.
0:34:01 > 0:34:02'I just accidentally'
0:34:02 > 0:34:05turned the light off, which you mustn't do.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08It's a thing called Machzor,
0:34:08 > 0:34:12which is where you're not allowed to do certain things
0:34:12 > 0:34:16like carry electrical stuff on the festival that we've got now.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19- You've just switched it? - I've done it by mistake, yes.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22So there won't be a problem, because I never intentionally done it.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24If I had have intentionally done it,
0:34:24 > 0:34:28then I would have had to pray to God to forgive me.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30But thank God that was not the case.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34- What would the problem be?- Not much.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36If you'd done it intentionally?
0:34:36 > 0:34:40Then it would... Then... I don't know.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42It would be up to God, it wouldn't be up to me.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46'Bradley has only lived in Stamford Hill for six years.'
0:34:46 > 0:34:53Basically the song starts off, "An accomplished woman, who can find?
0:34:53 > 0:34:55"Far beyond pearls is her value.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58"She opens her mouth with wisdom,
0:34:58 > 0:35:01"and a lesson of kindness is on her tongue..."
0:35:01 > 0:35:05'Born to Jewish parents, but brought up in a non-observant home,
0:35:05 > 0:35:10'he came to the community for help after the death of his father.'
0:35:10 > 0:35:13"..and let her be praised in the gates of her own deeds."
0:35:14 > 0:35:18'Since then, the community has taken him in as one of their own.'
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Could you please turn the light off, please?
0:35:22 > 0:35:25Brad, in Jewish school you don't...
0:35:27 > 0:35:31Oh, so I'm supposed to sleep in here with lights on? How's that?
0:35:31 > 0:35:34By the way, Bradley's not so... He's a very religious guy...
0:35:34 > 0:35:38- Ignore this one. Excuse me. - He hasn't yet practised all the religious purposes.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40You're not allowed to ask a non-Jewish person
0:35:40 > 0:35:43to switch the light, you have to explain them,
0:35:43 > 0:35:45"I'm not allowed to sleep with the light on,"
0:35:45 > 0:35:48so you should understand to switch it off.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51Is he cross with you now?
0:35:51 > 0:35:54He's upset because I told him that's not the way the Jewish law goes.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57I didn't mean anything bad to him, just to help him out,
0:35:57 > 0:36:02because he wants to learn, but maybe he doesn't like when people tell him what to do.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05I'm not meaning to tell him what to do, just to help him out.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13'It was our final night in Uman, and after four days
0:36:13 > 0:36:16'of religious observance, we were on our way
0:36:16 > 0:36:19'to the post-festival concert.'
0:36:19 > 0:36:21BAND PLAYS
0:36:24 > 0:36:28'The headline act was Stamford Hill's own Shimmy Goldstein,
0:36:28 > 0:36:30'a friend of the boys.'
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- How was it?- Without Shimmy, it would have been...
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Shimmy rocked it! He's my bro, man!
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Shimmy, he's going to be the king of the singers of the world!
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Look at me, guys! Look at me, look at me! Are you guys ready?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21He's the strongest man in Stamford Hill.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25Any problem, any way, you call him, he'll sort it out.
0:37:25 > 0:37:30- Like this! Pick me up! - Even the police are scared of him!
0:37:30 > 0:37:32- Sorry? - Even the police are scared of him!
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Not easy to arrest someone like that!
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Not easy to arrest somebody with that...
0:37:40 > 0:37:41Ohh!
0:37:41 > 0:37:43Show them your six pack!
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Show them your six pack! Look!
0:37:48 > 0:37:51- You popped my button! - Show them your chest!
0:37:57 > 0:37:58Nice!
0:38:10 > 0:38:12'I'd had a great time in Uman.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14'Avi and the boys all took their faith seriously,
0:38:14 > 0:38:18'but there was a sense of fun at the festival I hadn't expected.'
0:38:18 > 0:38:20BEEPING
0:38:24 > 0:38:27'It made me look again at the faces around Stamford Hill
0:38:27 > 0:38:30'and wonder if, under their hats and coats,
0:38:30 > 0:38:34'they were more like me than I had ever imagined.'
0:38:42 > 0:38:44So did you hear, I went to, er...?
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- Yes, Uman you went to.- Yeah.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49Yes. Ah, well, you found them nuts?
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- Who?- You found them all nuts there?
0:38:52 > 0:38:55- Who?- Those people, the whole load of people who come there.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58They throw their emotions into their religion.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01Religion's not an emotional thing, religion is understanding.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04An extreme way of life is not the religious way of life.
0:39:04 > 0:39:09Having children and going normally, that is the normal way of life, and living with a wife and a partner.
0:39:09 > 0:39:13- I'm just going with the people that sort of invited me along. - Yes, of course you are.
0:39:13 > 0:39:18But let's say, er, there are rabbis who pray all day, but prayer is not made for all day.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21It's made to pray to have whatever time you want to pray -
0:39:21 > 0:39:25a bit in the morning, come home, sit down with your family, have a normal life,
0:39:25 > 0:39:28Friday night, make Kiddush, sit down with your family, together on one table.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30That's the normal way of life.
0:39:30 > 0:39:34These people don't spread the normal way of life at all, and if you think they do,
0:39:34 > 0:39:37or anybody watching, there's something wrong with them.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39Do you think I wasted my time going to Uman then,
0:39:39 > 0:39:43- and trying to understand things? - Definitely. And it's not...
0:39:43 > 0:39:48If to Avi that helps him stay religious, fair enough, good enough,
0:39:48 > 0:39:52but I don't think it, I can't see him staying more religious through going to Uman.
0:39:52 > 0:39:56Do you think so? Do you think Avi's going to be a more religious person,
0:39:56 > 0:39:58a more upstanding person, through going to Uman?
0:39:58 > 0:40:02Well, Avi was quite loving towards me.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Towards you, maybe.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Maybe it does do something for Avi.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08But I think there are more important things which could do Avi.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Structure, studying would be more important.
0:40:10 > 0:40:14Had Avi stayed at home and studied, it would've been more important.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17Stayed with his family, more important than going away.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Wouldn't you think so?
0:40:19 > 0:40:23Wouldn't you think the new year, spending it with your family, is more important than going to Uman?
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Maybe he does that at a different time, no?
0:40:25 > 0:40:28- No, no, he doesn't do it at all. - He's a big family man.- Not really.
0:40:28 > 0:40:33God cries when there's a divorce and God cries when there's a couple not getting along.
0:40:33 > 0:40:37Your aim in life is to get along and break your character.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41That's what life... Control of yourself, understanding not to give you the...
0:40:41 > 0:40:44to go after your desires, that's what Jewish married life is about.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46But Avi doesn't understand that.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49Avi doesn't understand because his father died when he was very young.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- That's Jewish life.- I thought you'd be pleased I went to Uman.
0:40:53 > 0:40:54I'm not pleased at all.
0:40:54 > 0:40:59I think you photographed a completely wrong concept of the Jewish religion.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09'I couldn't argue with Gaby on religious grounds,
0:41:09 > 0:41:13'but to me, family seemed hugely important to Avi.'
0:41:13 > 0:41:15KNOCK AT DOOR
0:41:15 > 0:41:20'When I caught up with him, he was back on the trail of a match for Toli.'
0:41:20 > 0:41:22- Hi, Toli.- Hello, Paddy, how are you?
0:41:22 > 0:41:26- Nice to see you. - Hello, I'm Toli. How are you?
0:41:26 > 0:41:31- I'm good. Yourself?- Good. - Hello.- Hello, how are you?- Fine.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18How do you feel about that, Toli?
0:42:18 > 0:42:23Yeah, it's OK. To hear, there's no harm in hearing.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25- Would you meet her?- Yeah!
0:42:33 > 0:42:37'For a week of every year, the Stamford Hill residents celebrate Sukkot,
0:42:37 > 0:42:41'a festival commemorating the 40 years when the Israelites
0:42:41 > 0:42:45'were wandering in the desert, living in temporary shelters.'
0:42:47 > 0:42:54'Today, Avi is building his sukkah, as instructed by the 325th commandment.'
0:42:54 > 0:42:57It's made of wood. Mine is not made of wood.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00He used to take wood and knock with hammer, with nails and stuff.
0:43:00 > 0:43:04I remember I came out with my daddy in the back garden in Israel,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07we took all these bits of garbage and we knocked it together
0:43:07 > 0:43:09because we didn't have any money to make proper sukkah.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12That's a proper one, really. It was interesting.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16- Is that one of your great memories of being with your dad? - Yeah, it is, yeah.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19I don't have much memories of him, but that's one thing I remember.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22TRAFFIC PASSES
0:43:27 > 0:43:30That's my father in his wedding.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33- With the beard there? - With the beard there.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36This is my father holding me when I was a baby.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39I think my father and me is maybe the only picture I've got.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44HE PRAYS
0:43:44 > 0:43:47How old were you when your father died?
0:43:47 > 0:43:49I was seven years.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55How do you think your behaviour was affected
0:43:55 > 0:43:57by not having your dad?
0:43:59 > 0:44:01I think if I had a dad,
0:44:01 > 0:44:05I don't know for sure, but I think I might've not gone to prison
0:44:05 > 0:44:07and not gone through a lot of stuff in my life,
0:44:07 > 0:44:10because there would've been somebody I respect and he would tell me,
0:44:10 > 0:44:14"Do not cross the line here, do not cross the line there," and...
0:44:21 > 0:44:23I wouldn't blame that because I did not have a father
0:44:23 > 0:44:25I've done silly stuff, but, er...
0:44:28 > 0:44:31There was no-one to tell you "don't do this" and "don't do that",
0:44:31 > 0:44:35- and "you're going in the wrong direction".- That's right.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38- So you sort of got into a bit more trouble.- Yeah.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53'Two weeks later, the match Avi planned for Toli in Stamford Hill
0:44:53 > 0:44:58'had hit a dead end, so they were taking their search further afield.'
0:44:58 > 0:44:59Avi?
0:44:59 > 0:45:02- Yes, Paddy?- Where are we?
0:45:02 > 0:45:07We are in Israel, in the Holy Land, on the way to Jerusalem from the airport.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10And why have we come here?
0:45:10 > 0:45:12We came here for a few reasons.
0:45:12 > 0:45:17We came here for my father's, um, death anniversary,
0:45:17 > 0:45:20it's 33 years to his death.
0:45:20 > 0:45:25And we came here, hopefully, to find a match for Toli.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30Does this feel like coming home to you?
0:45:30 > 0:45:33It is, of course. That's my home.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:45:43 > 0:45:46Oh, wow, wow, what's going on here?
0:45:50 > 0:45:55He's working for me, he's my manager in Israel. My brother-in-law works with me, also.
0:45:55 > 0:46:01He's also working with us, he's doing the running about, going to banks and solicitors, signing contracts.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03- My brother.- The whole gang?
0:46:03 > 0:46:05Yeah, the whole gang.
0:46:05 > 0:46:06The whole company.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Friends and colleagues have joined Avi to commemorate his father.
0:46:15 > 0:46:16We're ready for the prayers.
0:46:42 > 0:46:48After leading prayers at the Wailing Wall, Avi visits his father's grave.
0:46:48 > 0:46:54Outside of the time he spent in prison, he's come back here every year of his adult life.
0:46:54 > 0:47:00My father, my uncle, my grandfather, my father's father, and my father's mother.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08PRAYER IN HEBREW
0:47:26 > 0:47:28- Shalom.- Shalom.
0:47:38 > 0:47:45Avi hadn't seen his mum since the wedding of his eldest son, Itchu Meir. So this is home?
0:47:45 > 0:47:48This is the home, that's where we're going to stay for the next few days.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55Welcome to Israel.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Shalom.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59Thank you.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02I'm very fortunate, thank you very much.
0:49:51 > 0:49:52I'm going to the smoking area.
0:50:00 > 0:50:05- She's not going to stop now, is she?- She can carry on and on, yeah, until someone stops her.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10She's a bulldozer.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Finally, Toli had a date.
0:51:33 > 0:51:38Later that night at his brother-in-law's housewarming party, Avi was presented
0:51:38 > 0:51:44with an ideal opportunity to instigate some further research into the suitability of Toli's match.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26THEY SING
0:52:33 > 0:52:34- Shalom.- Shalom.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Do you think she's done a good job, your mum?
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Oh, yeah.
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Couldn't be better.
0:52:47 > 0:52:49She got on the phone straight away, didn't she?
0:52:49 > 0:52:57That's right, yeah. She was on the phone, she spoke the right words, she arranged the right arrangement.
0:52:57 > 0:53:03- What's that, Toli?- I'm saying if we come late, we've already started on the wrong foot, which is no good.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07- I think Toli's excited. - He's upset that he might...
0:53:07 > 0:53:10Excited, excited.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12We won't be late, we'll be on time.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22HE ASKS DIRECTIONS
0:53:26 > 0:53:28- Where is it?- Just here behind us.
0:54:02 > 0:54:04Good luck, Toli.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19I'm nervous. I'm more nervous than Toli was before.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22But they've only met for an hour.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24They don't really, they couldn't really know, could they?
0:54:24 > 0:54:25They can know within a...
0:54:25 > 0:54:30Yeah, I mean, don't forget, in my mother and father's generation, they didn't even meet for an hour,
0:54:30 > 0:54:35they met maybe for one minute, two minutes, said hello to each other and they say yes, no, no, yes, you know?
0:54:35 > 0:54:39Now, some Hasidim are getting married after meeting
0:54:39 > 0:54:42an hour, an hour and a half, and getting engaged.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46Here, on the left.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48Where?
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Oh, yeah. Take it off, take off, take off. Put that down.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54- Is he there?- Yeah, put it down. - Oh, he's there.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55Yeah. Put it down.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03- Shalom.- How are you?- I'm fine. - I suppose you're the father?
0:55:03 > 0:55:05- I'm the father, yeah. - Nice to meet you.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Thank you. Nice to meet you, too.
0:55:10 > 0:55:13- Thanks, nice to meet you.- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, please.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15I don't want her to look back. Paddy, put it down.
0:55:15 > 0:55:18- OK, is she looking, is she looking? - I don't know. Just wait a second, all right, just a minute.
0:55:18 > 0:55:21- She's gone.- She's gone?- Yep.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24- She's gone down, it's OK. - How did it go?
0:55:24 > 0:55:26It was great. It was great, actually.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28Yeah, it went quite well.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30- You like her a lot?- Yeah, she's OK.
0:55:30 > 0:55:35Do you think you can end up with her, being together in such a car, like here?
0:55:35 > 0:55:37What do you think, Toli?
0:55:37 > 0:55:40- You think one day you and her can sit, sit in such a car? - Maybe, yeah, maybe.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42- Initial thought, yeah? - Yeah.- Possibly?- Yeah, it's possible.
0:55:49 > 0:55:50She was also nervous?
0:55:50 > 0:55:53She, she wasn't nervous, no.
0:55:53 > 0:55:55- Do you think she met a lot of boys before?- Yeah, she told me she did.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57- She did meet a few?- She's met a few.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59- Actually, today is her birthday. - Really?- She's 20 today.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Wow.
0:56:01 > 0:56:02The conversation went smooth, everything went... Yeah?
0:56:02 > 0:56:05- Yeah, the two hours flew. - Really?- Flew.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09Do you think she liked you?
0:56:09 > 0:56:13- Yeah, I think so, yeah.- Well done. Of course she liked you, Toli.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15Who wouldn't like you?
0:56:15 > 0:56:17No further questions.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20- Shall we get an ice cream? - Yeah, why not?
0:56:24 > 0:56:28- Toli?- Yeah? - Have you spoken to her about that you want to work and live in England?
0:56:28 > 0:56:30- I have, actually.- Yes, and?
0:56:30 > 0:56:32Um, she's not happy about it.
0:56:32 > 0:56:36She wants to be near her family, which is very understandable.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38- She wants to stay in Israel? - Yeah, which is very understandable.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41Would you come to live in Israel, if you think she's nice and everything, you like her?
0:56:41 > 0:56:43- Yeah, I suppose so.- You would?
0:56:43 > 0:56:46If she's the right one.
0:56:48 > 0:56:49Toli?
0:56:49 > 0:56:54I think Toli likes her, if he's prepared to move to Israel, he's already thinking about it.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57If he's willing to live in Israel, he likes her.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10It's Sabbath in Stamford Hill.
0:57:10 > 0:57:14For 24 hours in the community, everything comes to a halt,
0:57:14 > 0:57:18as residents prepare themselves for a day of rest.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29It felt like a good time to say goodbye.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33What have done with the candles? You've bent them.
0:57:33 > 0:57:36- I didn't.- Look, it's all bent!
0:57:36 > 0:57:38- I found them like that in the cupboard.- Don't be silly.
0:57:38 > 0:57:42How can you find... You were trying to put this on and it bent.
0:57:42 > 0:57:44No, it was like that...
0:57:44 > 0:57:46You didn't leave it,
0:57:46 > 0:57:48couldn't wait till I did it.
0:58:08 > 0:58:11TRAIN RUSHES PAST
0:58:14 > 0:58:20You know, when I came here, I never expected to meet anyone quite like you, Avi.
0:58:20 > 0:58:27It says in the book that there is no Rabbi who doesn't make any things, everyone, nobody's perfect.
0:58:27 > 0:58:31You've got to try to do your best to be bound to the Torah,
0:58:31 > 0:58:34as much as you can, to do the best, but, er, you cannot be perfect.
0:58:34 > 0:58:38- You're not perfect? - No-one is perfect.
0:58:59 > 0:59:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:59:01 > 0:59:03E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk