0:00:15 > 0:00:17SIRENS WAIL
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- I pack my way.- You pack your way.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22You know better how to pack.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25You start from beginning. You got to start all over again.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29Gaby and Tikwah Lock, a retired couple living in Stamford Hill
0:00:29 > 0:00:32in north London, are getting ready to go on holiday.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Take a hanger with you. People have got hangers where we're going.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Take the hangers out. Do me a favour.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41It disturbs me. I can't close the box with them there.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- Just push them down. - I've have told you so many times
0:00:44 > 0:00:47the hangers disturb packing the case and you don't want to listen.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- Gaby is in charge of packing, yeah? - Yes, he's very good at it.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54- I'd get lots of things into her case...- OK.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55This is all going to come out.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59As orthodox Jews in the Hasidic community, their lives
0:00:59 > 0:01:04are governed by a complex set of rules, called the 613 Commandments.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09This means the packing requirements differ a little from most.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Well, if I look like a gollywog...
0:01:12 > 0:01:16- Tikwah, how many wigs do you take? - One on my head and one in the box.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19What's the difference in the wigs you've got?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Have a look at the wig.- One is for best wear, which he's tried to ruin.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Why do you wear that? - A married woman must cover your hair.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28You're not allowed to go with open hair. She can shave all her hair off
0:01:28 > 0:01:30and not have no hair whatsoever
0:01:30 > 0:01:34then she can go like a baldy, like one of these skinheads. Terribly unattractive.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36And it's a part of the Jewish life,
0:01:36 > 0:01:40the partner's supposed to be making sure she is attractive to the male.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43The male species should make sure he's attractive to the female.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47That is part of your duty in married Jewish life and Torah laws.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50What do you do to make yourself attractive to Tikwah?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54That's a good question! That's a good question!
0:01:54 > 0:01:55She's laughing at that!
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Look at this! Isn't it going all in?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Marvellous! Wonderful!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I'd first met Gaby and Tikwah
0:02:10 > 0:02:14while making a film about young people getting married in the area.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17SINGING
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Gaby, a former teacher, acted as my guide
0:02:24 > 0:02:28to the nature of relationships in this highly-orthodox neighbourhood.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Marriage, that's what God's aim is in this world.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Two different people get together and try to build a life.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37The idea is to make one person of them.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40The more one you make of your unity or marriage,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42the more one you are and the more love there is.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45That is what real love is about.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49When Gaby and Tikwah told me they were happy for me to join them
0:02:49 > 0:02:52on their cruise around the Mediterranean, I jumped at the chance
0:02:52 > 0:02:57to spend more time with this couple from such an unusual community.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Looks nice!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00GABY HEAVES
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Is this all his gear behind you? - Yes. Yes.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- It's all Gaby's gear.- Do you want him to sort all the stuff out?
0:03:06 > 0:03:10- Oh, it's pointless saying that I want what I want.- What do you want?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I want him to chuck it all out.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16To me it has value. I know exactly every piece in there.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Gaby, you can't collect everything in the world.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22The gas mask belongs to my son, not me. We can't throw it out. He wants to keep it.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- He doesn't want to take it home. - Gas mask?- Let's get this on.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Please(!)
0:03:29 > 0:03:30MUFFLED NOISES
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Gaby, don't you think you collect a bit too much stuff?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I can't breathe in it.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Of course he does! Of course he does!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I think you've got one or two little issues to work on.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43We've got more than one or two little issues.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47We work on issues every day. It's what life's about. Working on issues.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Aside from visiting relations in Israel,
0:03:52 > 0:03:54this would be the first holiday the couple have taken
0:03:54 > 0:03:58together in over 40 years of marriage.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01A holiday where I take my wife out and say
0:04:01 > 0:04:04"I'm giving you myself now, my whole self..."
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Don't forget about me once we get away.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Yes, but the point is... - What's she saying? - Don't forget about me.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Once I talk, she thinks I forget her.- Once he talks to other people,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- he forgets me.- And you neglect her?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17It's not I neglect her. If I'm talking with somebody else
0:04:17 > 0:04:21I've got to concentrate on these people. Of course I neglect her a bit.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- Have you got the water on full?- Yes! - The cold tap, fully on?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- The radio will go on with the time switch.- A bit quieter.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30It's not loud. This is not loud.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32RADIO CHATTER
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Come on! Out!- I just want to check. One more time.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- More checking!- More checking. - He's crunk.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- Don't you check all your house when you go away like that? - Not that many times.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48He is so unsure of himself.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Is he?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53We can go in the car to Manchester
0:04:53 > 0:04:55and he says, "Now did I close the windows?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- "I'm going back." - Did I close the windows?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00The windows are not open. Gaby, they're not open!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I'm just going to check the windows.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05He's away to open my windows!
0:05:07 > 0:05:12This kissing of the mezuzah is for the security of the house.
0:05:12 > 0:05:17- God looks after the house. - He looks after us.- Looks after us.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Everything is around God, isn't it?- Everything.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Off we go.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Oh, God, I'm tired.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35What would you like on the cruise?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I want to enjoy the Jacuzzi, I think it's nice.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43- Jacuzzi?- Yeah. That is a Jacuzzi. - I thought you thought all those things are crazy?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46No, but a Jacuzzi's very nice - it's warm water and it bubbles.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50It's really a good feeling, no? We must try that.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54The point is we'll have to try that when there's nobody about.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- But we can be able to get there. - I need it like a hole in the head.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02You might like it. You've never tried, so how do you know you need it like a hole in the head.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- You say it like it's something you've tried.- I'm scared of things I don't know.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- That doesn't mean it's not good. How do you know it's no good? - No, I can't really say.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14- You can't know everything you'll be scared of. - You're right. You're right.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16If you don't take no chances, you won't get nowhere.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18No, I won't get anywhere, so what shall I do?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37It's Israel.
0:06:38 > 0:06:44- Golden Iris! Golden Iris!- Come here you! Come from water. Gaby!
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Over the next 13 days,
0:06:45 > 0:06:50the Golden Iris will cruise the Mediterranean and Adriatic Seas.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Yeah, yeah, well, I don't need you to fall in the water.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56It will be calling in for day excursions at ports in Crete,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Corfu, Venice, Montenegro and Greece.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Thank you.- You're welcome.- Come on!
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Not all Gaby and Tikwah's fellow passengers are as religious as them.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Thank you. We hope so.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13But is an entirely kosher ship that will accommodate
0:07:13 > 0:07:18a whole spectrum of Jewish people, from the orthodox to the secular.
0:07:18 > 0:07:24- Yeah.- Watch your step.- Why watch my step? They're good steps.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29Oh, my God, Gaby! What did we let ourselves in for?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Oh...
0:07:33 > 0:07:365023. Now we're getting somewhere.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41- Two, three.- Ah! Oh, my God.- We've got a television. Look at this!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Oh, my God. That's all we need(!).
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- What a room!- You don't have a telly at home, do you?- No.
0:07:46 > 0:07:52- We don't need one.- Oh.- Oh, please! - Let me just see what's on.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- Ah, let's go here. - Who cares about rugby?!
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Are you going to spend a bit of time up here, Tikwah, in the sun?
0:08:07 > 0:08:12- I might do.- Oh, the sun is very dangerous for us.- Why?- We burn.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- She doesn't.- I don't.- I burn.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17I'm ginger. I burn. I get red as a tomato.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26The Golden Iris would be home to 900 holidaymakers for the two week cruise.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Gaby and Tikwah's fellow travellers are mainly married couples
0:08:31 > 0:08:36of a similar age, looking to enjoy their time together in later life.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43IN ENGLISH
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Some of them more seasoned cruise-goers,
0:08:57 > 0:09:01struggling to rekindle the passion of their youth.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Whenever a good-looking girl walks past,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I feel like I'd like to be available if it was possible.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08HE CHUCKLES
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Does that bother you? - Not at all. It would've.
0:09:11 > 0:09:17- It would've 30 years ago. - It would've 30 years ago. Now it's like water off a duck's back.
0:09:17 > 0:09:23While others have become a little too accustomed to their partner's habits.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26IN TRANSLATION
0:09:26 > 0:09:27HE SNORTS
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Here, If I'm...
0:09:35 > 0:09:38HE SNORES ..is going to sleep with the captain.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51Five minutes into our voyage, and Tikwah's already lost something.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- What are we looking for?- My husband! - Where is he?- I don't know.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58He went to his bedroom to get his camera.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04Gaby? Where are you?
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Oh, my gosh.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14- He always disappears.- Always! It's a very old story.
0:10:16 > 0:10:205023. Hello?
0:10:20 > 0:10:24No, he's not here. He's locked the door.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34- There he is!- Oh, what...- Where were you?- Have you got the card?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Have you got the card?- Yes! - Where is the card? Give me it.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- He wants to write it down. The card. - And where's the camera?
0:10:41 > 0:10:46- What camera? Where?- There. - I'll go and find it. - Oh, you're such a schlemazel!
0:10:46 > 0:10:50I'm entitled to disappear. We don't need to stick together every minute.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52No, you're always disappearing.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- Oh, the case in.- Are the cases there?
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- Yeah. SHE TUTS - Oh, look at this.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Creases.- Hang it up over there.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Everything.- First, I've got to get it on the hanger, yes?
0:11:04 > 0:11:08What do you think of the other people you've seen on board so far?
0:11:08 > 0:11:12I haven't talked much with them. Gaby does the talking.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17- Is that shyness?- Yes.- Would you like Tikwah to have more confidence?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20In herself? Yeah. I would have. Yes, I would have liked it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23It looks a bit of a state.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Would I marry a person who's got more confidence than her?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- No, because you don't know a lot of things you get.- I put up with him.
0:11:29 > 0:11:36Who says that the other person would put up with more of my problems than my wife would. I don't think so.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- God puts you together.- I've heard about this concept called bashert.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- What does that mean?- Bashert means that this is your partner.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47God designated, decided from Heaven that this person should be yours.
0:11:47 > 0:11:53It's a very big decision to be for the rest of your life with someone. God almighty, don't we know it!
0:11:53 > 0:11:59- So bashert, right? Have I pronounced it right? Bashert? - Yeah, yeah.- Yeah, very good.- OK.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Is that something that you are immediately aware of when you meet your partner?
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- When you met Tikwah...- No, no.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08You're saying with bashert that you fall in love with a person
0:12:08 > 0:12:12and you decide that this is the person to be with all your life.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17- That's not bashert.- It's not falling in love?- No, it's not. Bashert is these two people God put together.
0:12:17 > 0:12:23When we married first, most people said that we would get divorced. Most people thought we don't fit together.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26But, over time, it's proved that we do fit together.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Who's doing all the work? - Yeah.- She is. That's women's work.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34- Oh, everything is women's work, isn't it?- Most things. Housing is women's work.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- A lot of women wouldn't thank you for that comment, Gaby. - But my wife understands.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41No, she doesn't understand - she just has no way out.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43That's how it is.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47What shall I do? Leave everything to get creased?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- Yeah, leave it as it is. - And look later on for things I can't find.- Yeah.- Very nice.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59The Golden Iris boasts a packed programme of activities
0:12:59 > 0:13:01for all its guests.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Deck running.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Food sculpting.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Dancing competitions.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Cocktail making demonstrations.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16APPLAUSE
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Religious lectures.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Aerobic classes.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27If you don't want to, close your eyes and use the time to relax.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Relationship enhancement workshops.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33And one other.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37The evening entertainment is one of the most popular events on the schedule.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40The content of the nightly show is not aimed at
0:13:40 > 0:13:42the ship's most religious passengers.
0:13:42 > 0:13:47But as it's day one, Gaby is happy to try it out.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50BAND PLAYS: "On Broadway"
0:14:00 > 0:14:05# They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway
0:14:05 > 0:14:07# On Broadway
0:14:07 > 0:14:11# They say there's always magic in the air
0:14:11 > 0:14:13# On Broadway
0:14:13 > 0:14:17# When I'm walking down the street
0:14:17 > 0:14:21# And you ain't had enough to eat
0:14:21 > 0:14:25# Glitter rubs right off along the way
0:14:25 > 0:14:27# On Broadway... #
0:14:27 > 0:14:30The cabaret is not our cup of tea. The music's...
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Let's not talk about morality. We're talking about the music is much too loud. We can't...
0:14:35 > 0:14:36It's deafening.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40And, secondly, the morality with a woman singing and the dancers' dress
0:14:40 > 0:14:42is against our morals in the Jewish religion.
0:14:42 > 0:14:48- So we can't stay for that.- Honestly, Tikwah, how did you feel about that? - Terrible! Shocking!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50EXOTIC BELLY-DANCE MUSIC
0:15:15 > 0:15:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:18 > 0:15:22- I would never even watch that on television.- Turn off the telly.
0:15:23 > 0:15:29- BOTH:- Good night!- Good night. - Good night. DOOR LOCKS
0:15:29 > 0:15:31ROCK'N'ROLL MUSIC
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It's day two of the cruise,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58almost everyone on board has signed up for the trip's first tour.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02And some of the passengers are eager to get ashore.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04CLAMOURING
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- Off to Crete.- Your first excursion. - Excursion. First excursion?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Look at that!
0:16:11 > 0:16:13IN YIDDISH
0:16:15 > 0:16:20- You might have to...- Oh, no, I'm getting pushed from all sides.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Very bad. You have to, right, not put yourself in the situation.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28You have to pull yourself out of the situation. You have to counter the situation.
0:16:28 > 0:16:34Take your mind completely away from the situation. She's going. You have to push through. What do you care?
0:16:34 > 0:16:39- I don't care what she's doing. What do I care?- She should go before she left.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41I'm in a nice environment. I don't see them.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44They are all like animals. They're nothing. I don't care.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47I put my head into a nice environment. I couldn't care less
0:16:47 > 0:16:50if they're shoving into each other. I'm not going to change them.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52They're too old to change.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Gaby finds the best way to keep calm in the throng
0:16:55 > 0:16:58is to immerse himself in prayer.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00GABY PRAYS
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Oh, we're going.- Oh!
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Crete will be the couple's first ever guided tour
0:17:17 > 0:17:20and Gaby has agreed not to leave Tikwah on her own.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30We have good soil and we have good sun
0:17:30 > 0:17:34so that's why the god Zeus chose to be born here.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- The god Zeus was born on Crete. - Who was born on Crete?
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- The god Zeus.- The god Zeus.- Zeus. - They believe in Zeus. Zeus was a god.- What's Juce?
0:17:42 > 0:17:47- Zeus.- What's Juce? - Ancient Greek mythology. - Who is Juce?- No, not Jesus.
0:17:47 > 0:17:53- Zeus. Jesus wasn't born here. - Zeus was born here.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Are you sure?- Yes, I'm sure he wasn't born here. He wasn't born here.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Oh, my gosh.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05This country is not developed. It fade into olive trees. Look. There must have been lots of...
0:18:05 > 0:18:09The Cretan nature is sacred.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13It should stay scared and not developed more than that.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- You think?- I think so, yes.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I think this is what the human being has to understand,
0:18:19 > 0:18:24that when you see nature, you have to admire nature and protect nature.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28The Cretan nature is sacred. So, peoples,
0:18:28 > 0:18:30you want to smell? This is a real lemon?
0:18:30 > 0:18:34When you smell lemon, this is what you should have in your plate
0:18:34 > 0:18:37and not those that they have no taste.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Not for the money.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40That was quite vociferous.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43She was quite aggressive on the point that they were not developed.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47The truth is this country wasn't developed. It's full of olives.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51You can't live on olives. How can people make a living just by growing olives, no?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Hold me.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Don't keep on running away.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Go backwards. It's easier.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03There we have the ancient city, Kydonia.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06The whole development that you see around,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10is the development that we have the last 100 years.
0:19:10 > 0:19:17- Ah-ha.- So you see, when we spoke about development before, there is a big development
0:19:17 > 0:19:21so people should be really careful about development.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Oh... She gets very offended, that woman.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Wooh!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30"You should be very careful what you say," she says.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Where has he gone?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Where has he gone?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39He's got a new girlfriend.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45We had tourism from 1975. A big development.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50- How many tourists come here every year?- We have a million of visitors.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Yes, yes, yes, yes.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57SHE SINGS IN GREEK
0:20:11 > 0:20:13APPLAUSE
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Thank you for stopping!
0:20:16 > 0:20:21- Thank you very much. Goodbye to all of you. Have a nice trip, safe home. - Thank you very much.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Golden Iris is our home!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30SHE LAUGHS
0:20:30 > 0:20:33For a little while, it's our home.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- What's the matter with you? - Golden Iris!
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Isn't it sweet that little elephant they made up from the towel?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44How did they make the ear?
0:20:44 > 0:20:49- The eyes are just pieces of plastic. - What do you call that in English? - The trunk.- Trunk? Yeah?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51A trunk. The elephant has a trunk.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54The elephant has a trunk.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05The following day will be spent at sea
0:21:05 > 0:21:09as the ship heads towards its next destination, Corfu.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22With spare time available, Tikwah has persuaded Gaby to sign up for the relationship workshop,
0:21:22 > 0:21:26a therapeutic course designed for couples.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Who knows? My husband might pick up something.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32If he's willing to.
0:21:32 > 0:21:37- You. I'm to pick up something? What about you?- Yes, both of us.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- I have to pick up?- There's always room for improvement.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45What we're going to teach you is something called mirroring,
0:21:45 > 0:21:48which means you repeat back what your partner said.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50I invite a couple to volunteer
0:21:50 > 0:21:53to be a demonstration couple
0:21:53 > 0:21:57where I'm going to show how this works and then you'll all get a chance to do it.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Charlotte and Gil Goller have been married for 15 years
0:22:01 > 0:22:03and are veterans of nine cruises.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06But they are not just regular passengers.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09They have been invited on board as couples workshop presenters.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13When we go on cruises, there are people who give talks,
0:22:13 > 0:22:15there was a couple who gave a talk on marriages
0:22:15 > 0:22:19on the last cruise we were on so we had the idea
0:22:19 > 0:22:22maybe this would be a good thing, since we love to cruise and give workshops.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Today, Tikwah, you are going to bring up something
0:22:25 > 0:22:30and Gaby is going to mirror you.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34You have a small thing he does that irritates you, that you've told him a hundred times
0:22:34 > 0:22:36and he doesn't seem to hear you.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41In the morning, after he's eaten, he leaves the table completely dirty.
0:22:41 > 0:22:47- It drives me mad!- That's perfect. - I always say, "When you've finished eating, clean the table."
0:22:47 > 0:22:54Ask him if he's willing to cross the bridge and come to Tikwahland and hear what you have to say.
0:22:54 > 0:23:00Are you willing to come over the bridge wanting to hear what I have to say?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Yes.- Yes, he is. Without baggage, you're going to go there
0:23:03 > 0:23:05and you're going to mirror.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10- And you're not going to react, you're going to mirror.- Not going to react to say answer,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- just mirror what she says. - Just mirror what she says.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I feel like a second-class char woman.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I acknowledge that's the way you feel. I hear you say that.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25Go on. Once sentence at a time so that he can mirror it well.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Is it so difficult to clean up the table after you've finished eating?
0:23:28 > 0:23:32- I hear you asking.- I hear you asking whether it's difficult for me to clean the table
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- after I've finished eating. - What's your answer? - That's not what you asked.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39It's wrong for you to feel like a char woman.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40- Do you feel that he understands?- No.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46I had therapy in the past. One of the top places for therapy.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I went there two times and it was OK.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53I talked for two hours. The third time I came and after half an hour,
0:23:53 > 0:23:58the doctor chucked me out and said, "You're driving US mad. You're not mad.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02"You're trying to drive us mad." And he chucked me out!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Where are those tablets I've got to look for now?
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Have you got?- No, I haven't got.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09You lost me a tablet.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11PLASTIC BAG RUSTLES
0:24:13 > 0:24:15- See? You've got.- I haven't got!
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- It's another day.- Trouble. - Don't touch my things!
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- All right! I've heard you! - I don't touch your tablets, don't touch my tablets.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25No.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28After spending three full days with Gaby and Tikwah,
0:24:28 > 0:24:33I found myself becoming increasingly interested in their marriage
0:24:33 > 0:24:36and the effect their very first holiday was having on it.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40What do you want me to do with my legs?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45You come away on this holiday and spend a lot of time with each other.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Well, you have to learn to live together.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51We are here together. This is the most together we ever are.
0:24:51 > 0:24:57You even have to lie in bed properly, otherwise the other one takes the covers from the other.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- When I'm at home, I don't have that problem.- You're good at that!
0:25:00 > 0:25:06- Normally, you'd have twin beds, right?- I think it's a stupid thing double beds.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10All we think about, relationship one to another, is that we have double beds
0:25:10 > 0:25:12that we're close, "Hello, dear. How are you?"
0:25:12 > 0:25:17But there's more to becoming nearer to each other than just the... How would you say it?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19The gestures.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22There's feeling nearer to each other.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- We met a couple...- But there's something nice in having a cuddle.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Ah! That's all because you're physically young.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32- Take it...- Old people like cuddling too.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35You don't know. That's what you think. Maybe they don't like it.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- We've seen it here on the boat. - You think so.
0:25:37 > 0:25:42- You don't think it's important? - If things are important to the wife then you do it.
0:25:42 > 0:25:47I don't think it brings a nearness in a relationship... Understanding each other brings more nearness.
0:25:47 > 0:25:54- But understanding, that's part of understanding each other. - I don't think so.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Understanding needs a lot of...
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- Physical touch, a bit of a cuddle is nice, right, Tikwah?- Why not?!
0:26:12 > 0:26:15It's not really a swimming pool that I like to go into.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Men and women together? No, not right.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Is there a way that you could go when there are no other women...
0:26:20 > 0:26:27- Yes, when there are no other women there, yes.- We'd have to come early. - Yes, we'd have to come early.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Where were you?- Where were you?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31I communicate with a lot of people...
0:26:31 > 0:26:34You were still talking to people.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38- Why do you keep on running away from me?- I'm not running away from you.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39I didn't know where you were.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44- You were busy schmoozing. - You went away. I was schmoozing.- I said, "Come."- Why should I?
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- But you didn't come.- I was in the middle of talking with people. - You never stop talking!
0:26:51 > 0:26:55Nobody in the water. Oh, what is that?
0:26:55 > 0:26:56That's a Jacuzzi.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00And he lies all day in it on his own in his birthday suit?
0:27:00 > 0:27:04- No, are you mad?- I don't know. - He'd get arrested.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Really? That's a Jacuzzi?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10He looks like a bear.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- Welcome in Corfu.- Who are you going to insult today, Gaby?
0:27:18 > 0:27:22- No!- Who I'm going to insult, I don't know but somebody, definitely.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23No, no, don't!
0:27:27 > 0:27:34Before Corfu town can be enjoyed, a problem with the next stop in Venice needs settling.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37The question is are you allowed to get on and off?
0:27:37 > 0:27:39On and off you can because the ship is coming to a port.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42If the ship doesn't come into port, that is a problem.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44The Golden Iris will arrive in Venice on Friday
0:27:44 > 0:27:47just before the holy day of Shabbat begins.
0:27:47 > 0:27:54The Orthodox passengers might not be able to leave the ship and remain in accordance with Jewish law.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56If I get on a ship that's going to sail on Shabbos.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00- If the ship sails...- What time does the boat leave?
0:28:00 > 0:28:05If they sail before Shabbos, if I'm on the ship, you've got a problem. The same when you stay on the ship.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09If it doesn't come in before Shabbos, you have a problem.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12OK. We'll call our rabbi.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Let's ring the rabbi. I'm not against ringing the rabbi.
0:28:15 > 0:28:20Hi, rabbi, it's Gil. I have a question that I need you to answer.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Could you please call me back?
0:28:22 > 0:28:26Just call my regular cellphone number and I'll get it, even though I'm in Greece.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Please call me back within the next hour or so.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Thank you so much. Bye.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36- Will you be there Friday night and go on the ship?- I won't be there.
0:28:36 > 0:28:44I'm going to be at Shabbos morning. We're going to walk around the town, have a Shabbos morning.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46- You're leaving the ship?- Yeah. Why not?
0:28:46 > 0:28:51Have you checked the logistics of distance from ship to...
0:28:51 > 0:28:55It's all in the town. It takes 20 mins to walk. They sent me an e-mail.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57- OK.- I checked on all this before we left.
0:29:10 > 0:29:16Four days into the trip and Gaby's enthusiasm for new encounters means that Tikwah's spending
0:29:16 > 0:29:19more and more time alone.
0:29:21 > 0:29:26He wants to hear what everybody else has to say. What I say is already known to him.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29He might hear something interesting there.
0:29:29 > 0:29:34He might bring some Judaism more to people who don't know anything.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37He's got a thirst for knowledge.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Ah! And a thirst for saying whatever he thinks.
0:29:44 > 0:29:49- I think I've changed a lot of people's lives here.- Gaby, Gaby!
0:30:09 > 0:30:13Moments before they're due to arrive and the question about leaving the ship
0:30:13 > 0:30:15in Venice remains unresolved.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19I called two different rabbis in Israel.
0:30:19 > 0:30:23One is a rabbi that goes on cruises
0:30:23 > 0:30:29and his answer was that if the ship is sailing before Sabbath is over,
0:30:29 > 0:30:31then you cannot get on it.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34You must be on the ship before the Sabbath.
0:30:34 > 0:30:39I asked somebody in London who said it's OK. I know that it's a problem even if the boat
0:30:39 > 0:30:41will sail before Shabbat.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45But as the boat is my domain and my house, I can get on.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49This becomes part of Venice. I can get off and on and even though it sails afterwards,
0:30:49 > 0:30:53- it doesn't matter to me. - So the answer to me is I'm not getting off the ship
0:30:53 > 0:30:58and the answer for you is because you've got a ruling that you can, you WILL get off the ship.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00I couldn't help thinking Gaby felt there was
0:31:00 > 0:31:04a competition to be the most observant Jew on the ship.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05Yeah, there is.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06SHE LAUGHS
0:31:06 > 0:31:07How good are you?
0:31:07 > 0:31:10I keep the laws that are written in the way it is written.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12I don't make my own laws.
0:31:22 > 0:31:27With Shabbat about to begin, work is prohibited so filming has to stop.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44By the beginning of the second week,
0:31:44 > 0:31:47as the Golden Iris journeys to ports in Montenegro and Greece,
0:31:47 > 0:31:52the cruise is bringing a sparkle to even some of the most well-worn relationships.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07It's one of the ways!
0:32:24 > 0:32:29I love her very much. I hope she loves me as I love her.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40- It's me?!- Yes, it's you!
0:32:40 > 0:32:43And...
0:32:43 > 0:32:47And he's handsome. Look at him!
0:32:47 > 0:32:50At his age, he's handsome.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02Gaby and Tikwah are over halfway through their holiday
0:33:02 > 0:33:06and they've chosen to take up an invitation to any couple
0:33:06 > 0:33:09wanting a private counselling session.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14- We are going. We are going.- You look hopeless. Look in the mirror.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16- It is big enough.- Oh, yeah, it is.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21Would you like to talk about your father?
0:33:21 > 0:33:25- Yes, why not.- Would you like to be her father? OK.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27What age will you be?
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- Any age.- 12.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33To help understand her feelings more fully,
0:33:33 > 0:33:36Tikwah is playing the role of her 12-year-old self.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41- So, "I'm your father". - I'm your father.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43"Were there times that I wasn't there?"
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Were there times when I was not there?
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Very much times, you were not there
0:33:48 > 0:33:51because you went to teach children Yiddishkeit.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55There were times I would have loved to see you in the middle of the day,
0:33:55 > 0:33:57but unfortunately I suppose that wasn't possible.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00I hear you say that you felt very bad
0:34:00 > 0:34:02when I had to travel away far, for teaching,
0:34:02 > 0:34:05and I was not at home for you when you came home from school.
0:34:07 > 0:34:13So, "What made me sad about that was..."
0:34:14 > 0:34:18What made me sad about that was that I missed you very much.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Because you were so sensible.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22I hear you say that you missed me
0:34:22 > 0:34:28and I wasn't there for you during the day when I was travelling far away.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33- "I am no longer your daughter." - I am no longer your daughter.
0:34:33 > 0:34:34I happen to be your wife!
0:34:34 > 0:34:37- "Thank you for listening." - Thank you for listening to me.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39- "As your husband"... - As your husband,
0:34:39 > 0:34:45how can I help you to heal this wound from your past?
0:34:45 > 0:34:50Oh, give me a bit more attention and don't always run away.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52That's all I am asking.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55I hear you say that you want more attention,
0:34:55 > 0:34:58and even the little bits of attention, which I give you...
0:34:58 > 0:35:00You give too little.
0:35:00 > 0:35:01..you appreciate but...
0:35:01 > 0:35:03I hear you say that you would like me
0:35:03 > 0:35:07to give you more attention, and not run away.
0:35:07 > 0:35:13Do you now understand how Tikwah has felt neglected in her childhood
0:35:13 > 0:35:16and how she may feel neglected when you don't give her
0:35:16 > 0:35:19the attention and the time that she would like?
0:35:19 > 0:35:21- Definitely.- Do you understand?- Yes.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25He is very, very fast and does not always grasp
0:35:25 > 0:35:27that I want a bit more time.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04Do you think Gaby will ever really change?
0:36:04 > 0:36:06No, I don't think so.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09What shall I do about it?
0:36:11 > 0:36:14I have to learn to live with many things.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19He is not aware of it, that is all I can say.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25But there is no doubt you love each other very deeply.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30Yes, yes. But... I do have times I feel very lonely.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32He goes his way and he forgets about me,
0:36:32 > 0:36:34as you have seen here on the boat.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44He always thinks being with others is more interesting.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Until he falls out with people.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53Oh, look at those little houses.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57Gosh, they live a long way from the real world.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02I think very little of myself.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04I think he knows it all and he does it all.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09I suppose that's the nature.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Look how beautiful it is. Beautiful day.
0:37:38 > 0:37:43- Where's Tik?- She went downstairs. She feels too cold up here.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47She finds it nice and warm downstairs. Beautiful view coming in.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50Every day has been a fascination, hasn't it?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- You have loved it, haven't you? - Beautiful. Of course.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Tell me who would not love it.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59If somebody said he wouldn't, he is lying, I think.
0:37:59 > 0:38:05Comfortable, rooms, view, good food, no? Kosher.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08100% brought from Israel.
0:38:08 > 0:38:09You've got the lot.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10Yeah.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Gaby, come here.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Gaby!
0:38:19 > 0:38:25- Come here, come.- No, you walk with me. Come on and walk with me.
0:38:33 > 0:38:37TOUR GUIDE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:38:52 > 0:38:53Gaby!
0:38:58 > 0:39:02- Gaby, come here!- What's the matter? - Come here, Gaby.- Come quicker.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04I can't.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06I am not on a working camp.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09- I don't want to lose you.- I am on holiday.- Don't come on these tours.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11Why shouldn't I?
0:39:11 > 0:39:15Because you can't, you haven't got the legs to keep up with it.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18- I don't have to run.- Do you want to stay or do you want to wait?
0:39:18 > 0:39:22- I am going to wait.- Wait here, I am coming back.- Good, fine.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27They are coming back in five minutes.
0:39:27 > 0:39:31I haven't got the strength to run. They can run.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35Where has he gone to? Which way has he gone?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39Go, go, go...
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Where?
0:39:46 > 0:39:48My needs are also important, don't you think so?
0:39:48 > 0:39:51My needs are also important. I want to see around.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55I can't help it that she has no sense to run around the town.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59She has to understand that she is staying behind and waiting until we get back.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01She is not interested in all this.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05Does it mean I have to always give her the attention and...be...
0:40:07 > 0:40:09How do you say...?
0:40:09 > 0:40:15Give in. And say, "You do not want to go, I'll stay with you."
0:40:15 > 0:40:19One day my patience will burst and I don't think that is our good thing.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21I have to be able to do what I want.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23If she can't come then I have to do it alone.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27- I would have loved her to come but she does not have the strength.- Yeah.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31I'm not interested, at this note point, cos this is a church
0:40:31 > 0:40:33and I couldn't care less about a church,
0:40:33 > 0:40:35but it is interesting to see the time.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38She has no strength to go up and down the hills
0:40:38 > 0:40:39and run around and all that.
0:40:39 > 0:40:43So she stays behind, and we come back and we join up again.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46Don't you think I am right in that?
0:40:46 > 0:40:47- Not really.- Why not?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49I think sometimes you should stay with her.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52You are not saying "sometimes", you are saying every time.
0:40:52 > 0:40:57- No, I'm not.- Every time she decides she has no strength to do something, I should stay behind.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00- I'm not saying that.- Why? - I am saying sometimes stay with her.
0:41:00 > 0:41:04I have one opportunity to see this, why should I not see this?
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- I would lose the opportunity, wouldn't I?- Mmm.
0:41:11 > 0:41:17- Yeah, I was quite OK that he went. - You were happy for him to go?- Yes.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20I didn't want to run like a lunatic.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25I understood Tikwah.
0:41:25 > 0:41:29That might not look like a relationship to anybody ideal...
0:41:29 > 0:41:30No, because you do it often.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34I do it often, of course. I know you haven't got the strength.
0:41:34 > 0:41:37But sometimes you could adapt to me.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42Love is understanding each other what each other wants but...
0:41:47 > 0:41:50Gaby wanted to stay out and go tour alone
0:41:50 > 0:41:52and suggested to Tikwah to go on without him.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56Home, sweet home.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18You want...?
0:42:18 > 0:42:21- I got you something. - You didn't buy that?!
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- I don't believe it. - I saw it in the shop and I bought it.
0:42:25 > 0:42:29- Have a look what it is. - I am having a heart attack.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31A vase?
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- With a flower. - And it's got a flower?
0:42:34 > 0:42:36No.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Don't open it, cos...
0:42:39 > 0:42:45Very nice. Isn't it pretty? You are so sweet.
0:42:45 > 0:42:51It's got the money on it! I forgot to take the money off.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53Thank you, so much!
0:42:56 > 0:42:58That's really, really beautiful.
0:42:58 > 0:43:04I really appreciate it. It is really sweet. Look at me!
0:43:04 > 0:43:06SHE LAUGHS
0:43:06 > 0:43:08Yes, it is very, very thoughtful.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10I went to the shop and I saw it and I thought,
0:43:10 > 0:43:13"That would be nice for the flower."
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Because they put the flower, I thought that would be nice.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18- That's very nice. - So they were connected.- Yes.
0:43:18 > 0:43:23- It's not what you buy. - The thought, that's right.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30- Good morning.- Good morning.
0:43:31 > 0:43:35I am going to take a cake. I will have a coffee, yes. With my wife.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41- Good for you?- Yes, that's enough.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50- Sugar?- Sugar, please.
0:43:58 > 0:43:59There you are.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10- Here. You want a coffee? - Thank you very much. What a treat!
0:44:10 > 0:44:11What's come over him?
0:44:11 > 0:44:13I really don't know.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17It will come down with a bang when we get home.
0:44:17 > 0:44:22I think when you are kind to your partner it ends up with your partner being kind to you.
0:44:22 > 0:44:26- Are you going to get a spoon?- Yeah, I'm going to get a spoon.- Go on.
0:44:26 > 0:44:32And yesterday a present! I really don't know what's happened.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35- A different man. - He's a different man.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38SHE LAUGHS
0:44:38 > 0:44:39APPLAUSE
0:44:39 > 0:44:45It is the afternoon demonstration of creative towel folding in the disco. Gaby has secured the best seat
0:44:45 > 0:44:48so that he can video the event for Tikwah.
0:44:51 > 0:44:52They can't keep quiet!
0:44:56 > 0:44:58APPLAUSE
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Be quiet!
0:45:00 > 0:45:01They don't stop talking!
0:45:01 > 0:45:05I'm trying to listen to him and they are like records.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08Tikwah's distracted by some of the audience
0:45:08 > 0:45:12making too much noise behind her and Gaby rushes to her defence.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39You don't understand a word of me!
0:45:39 > 0:45:41I'm listening to him!
0:45:43 > 0:45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:46:07 > 0:46:09THEY SING
0:46:46 > 0:46:49She was going on! Everything she was saying she was repeating like a child
0:46:49 > 0:46:53in kindergarten instead of listening to the man and what he was saying.
0:46:53 > 0:46:54You listen to him!
0:46:54 > 0:46:57And she was talking to a friend in French!
0:46:57 > 0:47:00- Did you enjoy it, Gaby? - Of course, I love an argument.
0:47:00 > 0:47:03- You love an argument? I hate it. - I live for arguments.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06- I hate it.- I like to make awkward situations, that's my life.
0:47:06 > 0:47:09I like people to be nice and patient to each other.
0:47:14 > 0:47:19Gaby's explosive temper surprised me.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23When I asked him about this, he told me he thought it was all explained
0:47:23 > 0:47:25by an event in his personal history -
0:47:25 > 0:47:28his mother dying within hours of giving birth to him.
0:47:28 > 0:47:33She had a haemorrhage and at that time they weren't ready for it,
0:47:33 > 0:47:35and she died. An hour later she died.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38I think it has affected him very, very badly.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41I think that's why he's so aggressive,
0:47:41 > 0:47:45that he thinks he's got to stick up for himself all the time.
0:47:45 > 0:47:46I don't understand it,
0:47:46 > 0:47:50because I have grown up with two loving parents.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54I'm a person who thinks, so I observe certain characters in my life.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56Why I am a certain aggressiveness
0:47:56 > 0:47:58and I won't allow people to tread on to me
0:47:58 > 0:48:01is because I feel the injustice being done.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04If I see an injustice, I go mad and fight for the rights
0:48:04 > 0:48:07even if it's not against me, it's against somebody else.
0:48:07 > 0:48:11If an injustice has been done to somebody else I will also fight
0:48:11 > 0:48:12because an injustice is going on.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15An injustice was done to me by me losing my mother.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19I mean we accept it is from God, everything is from God,
0:48:19 > 0:48:23but still at the back of your mind, you feel an injustice.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26That's part of the character in which God made the world
0:48:26 > 0:48:30that you would feel an injustice and you have to accept it is from God,
0:48:30 > 0:48:32but you will still feel an injustice.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50TIKWAH LAUGHS
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Oh, it makes me laugh!
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Oh, my God!
0:48:55 > 0:48:58- Oh, my God! - SHE GIGGLES
0:48:58 > 0:49:00I'm scared!
0:49:04 > 0:49:05Here, madame.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18Gaby!
0:49:18 > 0:49:21Oh, my goodness! Stupid animal!
0:49:24 > 0:49:25What's happened to me?
0:49:25 > 0:49:30- I must have gone mad. - SHE LAUGHS
0:49:30 > 0:49:31Where are you, Gaby?
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Oh, gosh!
0:49:41 > 0:49:42Oh, my God!
0:49:42 > 0:49:47Gaby, Gaby, what have you done to me?
0:49:47 > 0:49:51What have you done to me? It's just plain mad.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57So quiet.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59You like that?
0:49:59 > 0:50:03But you're not quiet.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05'The art of life is how to live together
0:50:05 > 0:50:08'just to be compatible and think, "That's it,'
0:50:08 > 0:50:11"I've got the ideal life and I'm going to have exactly what I want."
0:50:11 > 0:50:14There is no challenge in that whatsoever.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17I've learned to be more tolerant with people.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19I'm still very straightforward, honest.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21I've never told her lie and she's never told me a lie.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25That's one of the most important things in marriage, you have to be
0:50:25 > 0:50:28honest and if you don't like something, say straightaway.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32For instance, I told her, "I don't like spinach, don't make for me spinach."
0:50:32 > 0:50:35- I love it!- She likes spinach, so she cooks spinach for herself.
0:50:35 > 0:50:39- I make him something else... - Cabbage.- That's how it's worked out till today.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43- You have to find a way around it. - What do you appreciate about Tikwah that
0:50:43 > 0:50:46perhaps you wouldn't have appreciated early on in your marriage?
0:50:46 > 0:50:50The understanding... Like, coming on this cruise, she would never have
0:50:50 > 0:50:54done it years ago, I would think. I imagine if I was myself years ago,
0:50:54 > 0:50:57I would have been too much worried about what other people think.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01Today Tikwah has taught me more than I have taught her this -
0:51:01 > 0:51:05we don't really care, nobody cares about you, it's only what we care about each other.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08Nobody else cares about you - truth.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11I'll see you down there.
0:51:26 > 0:51:30- I beat you!- Yeah, you are fast.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33I think it's this way, no? No, it's not.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36Tikwah capitalises on Gaby's good mood.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39Before they arrive back in Haifa,
0:51:39 > 0:51:42she books him one last session with the Gollers.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43Are you ready to listen?
0:51:43 > 0:51:47I want to talk about something that bothers me about you.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50- It bothers me...- It bothers me that you keep things,
0:51:50 > 0:51:54which are absolutely useless. Look at our front room.
0:51:54 > 0:51:58It is full of rubbish. I wanted to make it nice...
0:51:58 > 0:52:02I hear you say that you think my hoarding is full of rubbish
0:52:02 > 0:52:05and I'm not giving my opinion, I'm just giving my reflection
0:52:05 > 0:52:08of what you are saying, a mirror image of what you are saying -
0:52:08 > 0:52:13I hear what you say and I'm not giving my opinion, but it's not rubbish.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17- We start with the bulbs.- The used lightbulbs?- Yes.- Some of them are.
0:52:17 > 0:52:18You're such a funny man.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22- If you put a used light bulb in the fridge, it works again.- OK.
0:52:22 > 0:52:28You have enough money to buy bulbs. I think that...
0:52:28 > 0:52:32that's a good project. Are you willing to do that, sort the bulbs?
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Any of them that are no good, you're going to throw out?
0:52:35 > 0:52:39- Yes.- Am I hearing you say that? - Yes, but it depends.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Gaby, look at her face.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Show him your face again, how happy she feels about the light bulbs.
0:52:44 > 0:52:49- It would be so nice if at least that would disappear.- Look how happy.
0:52:49 > 0:52:54I have a lot of pens she would like me to get rid of, about 10,000 pens.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Let's do the light bulbs.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Oh dear, oh dear. Have we learned something?
0:52:59 > 0:53:02No, what she was talking about, mirror image, about you
0:53:02 > 0:53:05- and about the hoarding...- You are going to get rid of the bulbs.
0:53:05 > 0:53:10But the mirror image doesn't achieve anything. About the bulbs, that's not the point.
0:53:10 > 0:53:14- I can always sort out which bulbs can work, which bulbs don't work. - You have to get rid of them.
0:53:14 > 0:53:18The bulbs we'll sort out, but not the pens so quickly.
0:53:18 > 0:53:22All right, you mentioned the pens. I didn't even mention the pens.
0:53:22 > 0:53:26The bulbs I can go through which ones work, which ones don't work -
0:53:26 > 0:53:27it's not so simple.
0:53:40 > 0:53:45- Where is the beautiful vase?- It's inside.- Don't you dare sit on that!
0:53:45 > 0:53:50- Oh, I would be heart-broken.- Do you know what you do about sitting...
0:53:50 > 0:53:54- Don't utilise all the space. - Yeah, yeah.
0:53:54 > 0:53:59- See, that closes with ease. - Oh, you're so clever!
0:53:59 > 0:54:02- Because it's utilising all the space that there is.- All right!
0:54:02 > 0:54:06- The other one might give you some problem.- You always see trouble!
0:54:06 > 0:54:09It closes very easily, I worked it all out beforehand in my mind.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13- Are you sure? It's hanging out all over.- All right, that's that.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16My jacket's over there, my hat's over there. That's number one closed.
0:54:16 > 0:54:21That's number two closing. You want that in there? OK.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24Don't talk so much!
0:54:24 > 0:54:27- He's proud of his packing.- Yeah!
0:54:27 > 0:54:31Have you checked those draws over there? I'll just check those draws.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34Where are you going to? There's nothing there!
0:54:34 > 0:54:39Nothing! Don't be so stupid!
0:54:39 > 0:54:42- I never used it, only the first draw.- OK.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44Turn the lights off.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47Well, we're not paying the electricity bill, are we?
0:54:47 > 0:54:51Nothing there, nothing on the floor. You want to check the floors?
0:54:51 > 0:54:55- Did you find the tablet? You didn't find that one tablet?- Do me a favour!
0:54:55 > 0:55:00- Bye-bye, room! You've been my home for...12 days?- 12 nights.
0:55:00 > 0:55:04- 13 days.- 13 days. I'm glad to get rid of you!
0:55:04 > 0:55:10- Are you feeling like going home? - Yes.- Very much so.
0:55:10 > 0:55:13- You like home!- Yes! - Home sweet home.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16- My own bed.- Nothing here was bad.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26- Where do we go now? - Straight that way.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46- No, no.- Big ones we can't do,
0:55:46 > 0:55:50remember I was saying to my brother, in the commercial freezer.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Why have you got them in the fridge?
0:55:52 > 0:55:57- They say that once you put them in the fridge they are rejuvenated. - They're ready for the dustbin!
0:55:57 > 0:56:01- I don't want them! I don't want them! I don't want them! - All right, all right.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04See, this one works again. You see. It might not last.
0:56:04 > 0:56:09- See how black it is on the sides? - How many can he keep, if they work?
0:56:09 > 0:56:11If he will go through it straightaway...
0:56:11 > 0:56:15- I'm not going through it now. - No, not now and not never.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18- I am.- I know you, Gaby. - I AM going to go through them.
0:56:18 > 0:56:22- I've seen you before.- You see this one hasn't got any black.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25- You made a promise.- Yeah!
0:56:25 > 0:56:28You see this one hasn't got black on the sides.
0:56:28 > 0:56:29See the black on the sides?
0:56:29 > 0:56:31Look at this collection!
0:56:31 > 0:56:35- That is out, out, out! Straight out. - I can't place them in...
0:56:35 > 0:56:38Who cares? Let the dustbin men worry about it.
0:56:38 > 0:56:42It won't go in the dustbin, they won't take them.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45- OK, let's go out.- You've got a few more to get rid of.
0:56:45 > 0:56:49- Yes! Yes!- They'll go outside... I'm not going to get rid of all of them.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52That little one you just had in your hand, take it out!
0:56:52 > 0:56:56- All right, take the little one. - Out, out!- OK.- No, that little one.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59You just put it back here. You're cheating me always.
0:56:59 > 0:57:02- I'm not cheating you.- Gaby, you have got a bit of work to do here.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04No, no. GABY LAUGHS
0:57:04 > 0:57:07- He's mad!- You've got a bit more work to do, right?
0:57:07 > 0:57:11Then she'll be angry that you took the whole room.
0:57:11 > 0:57:12Oh!
0:57:15 > 0:57:17To make sure it goes down.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25You see the powder coming out? That's poisonous.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30- At least he's got rid of some of it.- Yeah, not much. Two?
0:57:30 > 0:57:35- It's a start.- Is it two?- Two. - Only two?!
0:57:35 > 0:57:37I'm not even excited.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41I know there's so much there, there must be about 20.
0:57:41 > 0:57:45- That's not all that's there either. - I know!
0:57:45 > 0:57:49Don't make me cry! Oh, golly!
0:57:55 > 0:57:59Now you've done your bit. Put them all in the dustbin.
0:57:59 > 0:58:03To do that with all those inside, the whole dustbin will be full of glass, they wouldn't take it.
0:58:03 > 0:58:07All right! So don't worry so much about the dustbin men!
0:58:07 > 0:58:11GABY! Come inside!
0:58:11 > 0:58:14GLASS SHATTERS
0:58:14 > 0:58:17I've got to make Shabbos.
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Shabbos doesn't wait.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd