Walking with Dogs: A Wonderland Special

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0:00:12 > 0:00:14What do your dogs mean to you?

0:00:14 > 0:00:17The whole world, I'd say.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20- What does she mean to you, Sheila? - Everything.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Is she your best friend?

0:00:22 > 0:00:24- Yes.- Yes.- Yes.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25Whose best friend if she?

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- Mine.- Both of ours.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30What's his personality, would you say?

0:00:30 > 0:00:35Um... Confident, bordering on domineering.

0:00:35 > 0:00:42Well, my view is that dogs are people as well, we all have personalities.

0:00:42 > 0:00:47In effect, we're all animals. It's just that she has four legs.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57This is Joey and this is Eddie.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01My daughter named him after Ralph Lauren.

0:01:04 > 0:01:05Lilliput is a little girl,

0:01:05 > 0:01:07and you can call her Lily.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13All the people in this film walk their dogs in the same park.

0:01:13 > 0:01:18Hampstead Heath is the biggest green space in London

0:01:18 > 0:01:21and hundreds of dogs are walked here every day.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26So why do people have dogs?

0:01:26 > 0:01:29And what role do their dogs play in their daily lives?

0:01:34 > 0:01:37- Can I ask you your name?- Irene. - Irene.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38- And this is your dog, Irene?- Yeah.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42- And what's the dog called?- Snowy. - And what breed is Snowy?

0:01:42 > 0:01:44She's a West Highland Terrier.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47- And how old is she?- Five months.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Is she? Oh, so she's just a puppy? - Yeah, yeah.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53- And how old is the baby? - 11 months.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55- 11 months?- Yeah.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56- And are you a grandma?- Yeah.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58THEY LAUGH

0:01:58 > 0:02:00And what made you get a dog?

0:02:00 > 0:02:01I got broody.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03THEY LAUGH

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Did you? Was that because of the baby?

0:02:05 > 0:02:07After the baby was born, I got really broody.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08- Is that true? - ALL: Yes.

0:02:08 > 0:02:09THEY LAUGH

0:02:09 > 0:02:13- So now, you've both got a baby? - ALL: Yeah.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17Can I ask you your name?

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Yes, it's Guy Pope.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- And I can see your dog collar. - Yes.

0:02:22 > 0:02:26- So are you a local vicar?- Yes.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Is the dog allowed in the church?

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Oh, he comes to church on Sundays,

0:02:30 > 0:02:32but he believes church is for biscuits.

0:02:32 > 0:02:37When people see you with a dog and with a dog collar,

0:02:37 > 0:02:38what's their reaction?

0:02:38 > 0:02:42I actually find I talk to a lot of people on the Heath

0:02:42 > 0:02:44who I wouldn't otherwise talk to,

0:02:44 > 0:02:47and end up doing quite a lot of pastoral things on the Heath,

0:02:47 > 0:02:50because people talk as we walk dogs.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54It's amazing the things that come out and we're able to talk through

0:02:54 > 0:02:56as we walk the dogs.

0:02:56 > 0:03:01- So you're doing kind of spiritual outreach through Bertie?- Yes!

0:03:16 > 0:03:17What kind of dog is he?

0:03:17 > 0:03:20He's a Dogue de Bordeaux, a French Mastiff.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24- How old is he? - He's about 19 months now.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26So is he still a puppy?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28He's still growing outwards,

0:03:28 > 0:03:31he'll still get wider, I think.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- So he won't get any taller, but he might get wider?- Yes.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Cos that is a big dog. - He is massive. He's my baby.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39HE CHUCKLES

0:03:39 > 0:03:41When I saw you walking on the Heath,

0:03:41 > 0:03:44and Buddy was really pulling on the lead,

0:03:44 > 0:03:48- and he's a big dog, and I was quite scared.- Yeah.- And...

0:03:50 > 0:03:54- I know now that Buddy is a soppy dog.- Yeah.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56But people seeing you are going to think that.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Yeah, they get the wrong impression, but...

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Is it the wrong impression

0:04:00 > 0:04:02or do you quite like them being a bit scared of you?

0:04:02 > 0:04:03No, I don't.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08But I know other people out there that's got the Pit Bulls and they've got the Staffs,

0:04:08 > 0:04:11they've got the Rottweilers and they've got the French Mastiffs and that,

0:04:11 > 0:04:14and they do think they're hard walking down the road.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16I don't, personally.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18I could walk down the road with a little Chihuahua and...

0:04:18 > 0:04:21But you don't, you walk down the road with a French Mastiff.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Because I love him and I got him for free.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Come on, Lily!

0:04:57 > 0:05:00I love little white fluffy animals.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03When you say you like white fluffy animals,

0:05:03 > 0:05:05do you mean you like all animals

0:05:05 > 0:05:07or you like white ones specifically?

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Oh, I love all animals!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11I always have done, I just adore them.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14But I've always had a real extra soft spot

0:05:14 > 0:05:16for little white fluffy ones.

0:05:16 > 0:05:21Um... Cats, little rabbits, anything like that.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Just little polar bear babies, my favourite.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Little white fluffy polar bear babies.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28My favourite.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32It's easy to make an assumption

0:05:32 > 0:05:34that a dog like that is a baby substitute.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Yeah.- Is that what she is to you?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Definitely not. No.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41I do very much try to ensure

0:05:41 > 0:05:44that she is at all times treated like a dog.

0:05:44 > 0:05:49I'm not the biggest lover of babies.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51- So you don't want children, Marianne?- No.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Have you ever wanted children? - No. Not really, no.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'm sorry!

0:05:56 > 0:05:57SHE CHUCKLES

0:05:57 > 0:05:59I just prefer puppies and kittens.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Warren lives three miles from Hampstead Heath

0:06:06 > 0:06:09on an estate next to the North Circular.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15- What kind of a teenager were you? - I was a bit of a naughty teenager.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18I got myself in a bit of trouble and that. Um...

0:06:18 > 0:06:19What kind of trouble, Warren?

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Just fighting a lot and that.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24I regret it now though.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Then I got kicked out at school.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Went to... straight into work. I've always been a worker. I'm a grafter.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35And, um...

0:06:35 > 0:06:40Then, I had a little bad spell and that.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Went to prison.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- What was it you were sent to prison for, Warren?- GBH.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50So that's quite a serious offence.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52That is quite a serious offence.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55And what was it that you'd done?

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Two boys tried robbing me

0:06:57 > 0:07:03and this is the truth, tried to rob me, I defended myself.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06And got three years for it.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08- OK, so you hurt them, did you?- Yeah.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10- Both of them?- One of them.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12- One of them.- And how is he now?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14I don't know. He's fine now.

0:07:14 > 0:07:18He was fine, because he came to court and pressed charges against me.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21And how, did you hurt him with your hands or with a weapon?

0:07:21 > 0:07:25- With a weapon but I'm embarrassed to say...- What was the weapon?

0:07:25 > 0:07:29It was his weapon, it wasn't my weapon, it was his weapon.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32And it's embarrassing.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- What was it?- It was a knife but...

0:07:34 > 0:07:37it weren't me who had it, it was him who had it

0:07:37 > 0:07:40and I was trying to... Come here, stop!

0:07:40 > 0:07:43I was trying to defend myself.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46- OK, so you stabbed him?- Yeah.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49- How many times? - Once. Once, I ran away.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53- And where did you stab him? - Underneath his armpit.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59And how do you feel about that now, Warren?

0:07:59 > 0:08:03I hate the thought of it. I'm embarrassed to say it, to tell the truth.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06I am embarrassed to say it. I regret it.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10- And you were sentenced to three years?- Yeah.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12And how long did you do?

0:08:12 > 0:08:14I got about 18 months.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25What's the name of the dog?

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Her name is Princess Catherine, but we call her Katie.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- And where you in the UK for the royal wedding?- Uh-huh.- Yes, we were.

0:08:32 > 0:08:33Yeah, we were.

0:08:34 > 0:08:39- So is she called Princess Catherine after Kate Middleton?- Yes.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45As well as having recently acquired an Alsatian puppy,

0:08:45 > 0:08:48Dave and Kelly are also expecting a baby.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53- This is your first baby?- Yes.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59And have you read any books about having a baby

0:08:59 > 0:09:01and combining it with having a dog?

0:09:01 > 0:09:05Yes, we have a book that's called, I think it's called Your Dog And Your Baby,

0:09:05 > 0:09:10and it's just a transition, boundaries and just rules,

0:09:10 > 0:09:12that you shouldn't leave your dog alone with your baby

0:09:12 > 0:09:16and just...whether she should have her own kennel per se

0:09:16 > 0:09:20when things are erratic with the baby and, so...

0:09:20 > 0:09:23And we got that through our puppy school, they recommended that.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29If someone said to me, "Never leave your dog with your baby,"

0:09:29 > 0:09:33that would make me think twice about having a dog with the baby.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- Has that made you think twice?- No.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41In theory, never, you know, trust an animal.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44They do have, you know, wild sort of instincts.

0:09:44 > 0:09:45Go get it!

0:09:45 > 0:09:49'I think she's, she's on her way to being a highly trained dog.'

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Get it!

0:09:51 > 0:09:55'I think she loves her family so much,'

0:09:55 > 0:09:57and she's so dedicated and loyal

0:09:57 > 0:09:59that I couldn't see her doing anything

0:09:59 > 0:10:02but protecting the baby and loving it.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Are there special instructions for what to do

0:10:06 > 0:10:10so the dog doesn't feel jealous or excluded?

0:10:10 > 0:10:13They do say to bring home a blanket that she's been wrapped in.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17So when Dave comes home in between me coming home,

0:10:17 > 0:10:21will bring a blanket and have her sniff it and have it with the scent of the baby.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25So when we actually bring in the baby, that it's not a shock.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Yeah, let her sniff the baby

0:10:27 > 0:10:30and, when the baby is here, to allow her to introduce herself to the baby

0:10:30 > 0:10:34and get to know the baby a little bit by, you know,

0:10:34 > 0:10:38sniffing around and see what's going on, instead of keeping it a mystery, keeping it away and...

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- We're going to take an inclusive approach.- Uh-huh.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Can you tell me what your name is? - Albert Abela.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29- And are these five dogs all yours? - All mine.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31And what kind of dog are they?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34They're Bichon Frises, a French breed.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Five is an awful lot.

0:11:39 > 0:11:44It is. I had the parents and when they had a litter of three.

0:11:44 > 0:11:49I couldn't part with them and decided to keep them all and...

0:11:49 > 0:11:52- And I have five. - Can you tell me their names?

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Yes, the father is called Mozart, the mother is Lolita,

0:11:56 > 0:12:00and the three children - Sultan, Tequila and Aubergine.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08They're quite a sight, your dogs.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13Yes, they always turn heads in the park.

0:12:13 > 0:12:18I'm asked about them on a regular basis when I take them for a walk.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Do you like the comments?

0:12:22 > 0:12:23Most of the time, yes.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25I'm glad that people appreciate them,

0:12:25 > 0:12:29although it tends to lengthen the walk

0:12:29 > 0:12:32if we're stopped too many times for questions.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36So you're not an attention seeker?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38I'm not, I'm not.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40When you walk with these dogs, you look like you must be.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44We do, we do get a lot of attention, that's for sure.

0:12:44 > 0:12:49Albert is a businessman and lives with his dogs in a gated community,

0:12:49 > 0:12:51just north of the Heath.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Are you a wealthy man, Albert?

0:12:55 > 0:12:57I'm fairly wealthy, yes.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02Did you grow up with staff in the house to help?

0:13:02 > 0:13:08Um, yes, yes. I've always had somebody to help me.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Whose job is it to look after the dogs?- I am the one.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16Is it your job to pick up the dog mess?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Yeah, yeah, it's my job.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27You're a big beefy guy

0:13:27 > 0:13:31and the dogs are quite sort of feminine and fluffy.

0:13:31 > 0:13:32Is that an issue for you?

0:13:32 > 0:13:35I wouldn't say they're feminine.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Um... They're not large dogs, obviously.

0:13:38 > 0:13:43Some people would find a Rottweiler or a Doberman more masculine.

0:13:43 > 0:13:47So you don't feel these dogs put your masculinity in question?

0:13:47 > 0:13:51No, no, my masculinity is quite safe, it's not under threat.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54So... No, I don't, I don't have a complex

0:13:54 > 0:13:58about having five little fluffy white dogs.

0:13:58 > 0:13:59HE CHUCKLES

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Good girl, Bell. This way.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11It's February and, despite a heavy snowfall,

0:14:11 > 0:14:14the dogs and their owners are still out in force.

0:14:16 > 0:14:17What is the name of your dog?

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Her name's Bluebell, but I call her Bella.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22And what kind of dog is she?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24She's a Weimaraner.

0:14:24 > 0:14:29Most people pronounce it a "Why-maraner," but I say Weimaraner.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32And is she a pedigree dog?

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Yes, she's a pedigree.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Do you walk around the Heath every day, Gilly?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39I walk her on the Heath nearly every day.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43At least two to three hours I walk her.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46She thinks this is a little bit of Pembrokeshire.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49I lived there for 25 years,

0:14:49 > 0:14:53and we had a big, big garden and a pond...

0:14:53 > 0:14:56Um... It was really nice.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59My three children were there and I had a lot of dogs there.

0:14:59 > 0:15:00I used to breed dogs.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09So the only thing I brought from my home was my dog.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12I left everything else.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Gilly now lives in a homeless hostel,

0:15:19 > 0:15:22half a mile from Hampstead Heath.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30What happened, Gilly? What went wrong?

0:15:30 > 0:15:37My partner's business was, he was struggling and I didn't know.

0:15:39 > 0:15:44And then, I didn't help, cos I had depression for quite a few years

0:15:44 > 0:15:47and I didn't leave the house for five years, so...

0:15:47 > 0:15:52And then, he just came home and says, "One of us has to leave."

0:15:52 > 0:15:56And um...he left and my old world burst.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00I'd been with Joseph since I was 23.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04It was... Never thought he would ever leave me.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06I felt we were like two swans.

0:16:10 > 0:16:14I never thought he would leave me. I do still love him.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16I never will stop loving him.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21Bella, Bluebell, this way!

0:16:21 > 0:16:25So how old were your children when everything fell apart, Gilly?

0:16:25 > 0:16:29Joseph was 14. He's 16 now.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33James was 21 and Orion was 26.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37So you've lost your children as well?

0:16:37 > 0:16:38Yes, I've lost my children.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41You know, if I had a flat, I would have my son with me.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45But I haven't got a flat and I wouldn't want my son...

0:16:45 > 0:16:47living like this.

0:16:48 > 0:16:53Describe to me what life is like here.

0:16:53 > 0:16:57Well, you just have to get through the day.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Life is very, very different.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03And how does Bella cope with this life?

0:17:03 > 0:17:06She found it very stressful in the beginning,

0:17:06 > 0:17:09because there's a lot of noise and a lot of people coming and going.

0:17:09 > 0:17:10DOG BARKS

0:17:10 > 0:17:11Bella, shh!

0:17:11 > 0:17:14And she just finds it a bit stressful,

0:17:14 > 0:17:16cos she hears the walking along the corridor

0:17:16 > 0:17:18and all the different rooms.

0:17:18 > 0:17:23But she is, she'd rather be with me than with somebody else.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25DOG BARKS

0:17:25 > 0:17:29Sometimes, I've thought about re-homing her and I just can't.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32I just can't do it to her. It'd break her heart.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34And it would presumably break your heart, too.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36I'd break my heart! Yeah, no, I couldn't.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39I wouldn't wake up if I lost Bella.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42You know, I'd have lost then everything.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44She's the only thing I've got.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Good girl!

0:18:19 > 0:18:20Good girl.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23Lily is wearing a very beautiful harness.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26I've just been playing with crystals

0:18:26 > 0:18:29and making a few bits and pieces.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33And it's that going to be a business or what is it you're actually doing?

0:18:33 > 0:18:38Um, well, it's a collection that will, if all goes well,

0:18:38 > 0:18:43it'll be launched for sale, and it will be extremely high-end,

0:18:43 > 0:18:46very exclusive pieces for doggies.

0:18:46 > 0:18:51Well, the collars will be entirely hand-stitched,

0:18:51 > 0:18:54which I believe are the only collars of the kind that are,

0:18:54 > 0:18:57which means that they will essentially last for ever.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00And each collar will have a matching leather lead

0:19:00 > 0:19:02with a matching embellishment.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04But that'll also be a jewellery chain lead.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07But essentially, that's your, that's your lead,

0:19:07 > 0:19:09and that's the one that's just not going to break.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12And that's just hundreds of Swarovski crystals and pearls.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15How much is a lead like that going to cost?

0:19:15 > 0:19:18They are probably looking at around about £500, £600.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21What about clothes? Are they doggy clothes?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24There's a few little coats, jumpers,

0:19:24 > 0:19:27hand-spun, hand-dyed, hand-knitted angora jumpers,

0:19:27 > 0:19:31which are really fluffy and incredibly cute, very pretty colours.

0:19:31 > 0:19:35A few dresses as well, just for the red-carpet occasions.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37And what about the male dogs?

0:19:37 > 0:19:42Oh, there's some little bow-tie outfits and little suits.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45This one is made from leather

0:19:45 > 0:19:49and it has the little emblem details on it.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51And then, if the doggy is being very good,

0:19:51 > 0:19:55then, he might be allowed to pocket one of his little treats on its back

0:19:55 > 0:19:59that you can then get out when he's been behaving himself.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- Do you live on your own, Marianne? - I do.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04- Then, are you single?- Yes.

0:20:06 > 0:20:11I don't know whether you've ever cohabited with a partner,

0:20:11 > 0:20:17but how is it different living with a dog than living with a person?

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Well, you obviously can't have,

0:20:20 > 0:20:22you can't have detailed conversations with dogs.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25I mean, you might exchange a few words at most.

0:20:25 > 0:20:30Um... So, to that extent, they're lot quieter.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33They're also a lot less demanding.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36As long as you have their basic needs met,

0:20:36 > 0:20:40then doggies tend to be quite happy and that's the best thing ever.

0:20:40 > 0:20:45Obviously, with people, they... they have other needs.

0:20:45 > 0:20:49But, obviously, there is a difference.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52I see that, I'm not that dotty.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Can you tell me your name?

0:21:06 > 0:21:10Sheila Karsberg. K, A, R, S, B, E, R, G.

0:21:10 > 0:21:11And what's the dog called?

0:21:11 > 0:21:15Millie Snowflakes, cos she's got snowflakes all over her.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Do you live on your own with Millie Snowflakes?

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Yes. Since my mum died, yes.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Come on, Millie, down! Good girl.

0:21:26 > 0:21:27Good girl, Millie.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33How do you think of her, Sheila,

0:21:33 > 0:21:36is she your best friend or your baby, what is she?

0:21:36 > 0:21:39She's my doggy-woggy.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Whoo!

0:21:44 > 0:21:48Here is the speed merchant on his thingy.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50- Morning!- Morning!

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Margot and Sue have been walking their dogs together

0:21:57 > 0:22:00on Hampstead Heath every day for the last ten years.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Margot is 82.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07We haven't had any dead bodies, I'm happy to say, recently.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Hello!

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Have there been dead bodies found?

0:22:13 > 0:22:17Yes, people...two, last year, hanging.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20Was it two suicides?

0:22:20 > 0:22:23And have there been other bodies that have been found that aren't suicides?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26Yes, we had a decomposing lady...

0:22:27 > 0:22:30..which was rather nasty. That was over there, and...

0:22:30 > 0:22:32SHE CHUCKLES

0:22:32 > 0:22:38A walker was bursting to spend a penny, bent down and screamed.

0:22:38 > 0:22:43And I don't think she will ever, ever, ever, spend a penny in the open again.

0:22:43 > 0:22:44Can you imagine?

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Anyway, we think that was dumped,

0:22:48 > 0:22:49because Luna would have found her,

0:22:49 > 0:22:52if it had been there for any lengths of time.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57So Luna is Sue's dog and she's good at finding things, isn't she?

0:22:57 > 0:23:02Luna finds bras, money, anything.

0:23:02 > 0:23:03Goats' heads...

0:23:04 > 0:23:06What have you got, Luna?

0:23:07 > 0:23:11Sue! Luna's got a rat!

0:23:33 > 0:23:36It's March and Gilly has befriended Michael,

0:23:36 > 0:23:39a fellow resident from the homeless hostel.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45So tell me what's been going on this week, Gilly?

0:23:45 > 0:23:47And why are you in trouble with the hostel?

0:23:47 > 0:23:52- Well, I think Michael got some Budweisers and...- Yeah, I did.- Yes.

0:23:52 > 0:23:56Only a little drink, but we've been very good since then.

0:23:56 > 0:24:01So... We're on the road of...no more dirty water.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03- On the wagon.- On the wagon.

0:24:03 > 0:24:04So, yeah.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08So that's, you know, now we have to be REALLY good this week,

0:24:08 > 0:24:10cos we've had a yellow card.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11So teetotal.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15Well, we got everybody else involved as well, and that was a problem.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19You know, it sort of escalated into a party until six in the morning.

0:24:19 > 0:24:24Yes. Cos we went and bought some chickens from Tesco's

0:24:24 > 0:24:26and we fed a lot of them and...

0:24:26 > 0:24:30Yes, it did go on till six in the morning.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33That's why I got a yellow card.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37What happens if you get another card?

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Red card, we're out.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43That's why we really need to be good,

0:24:43 > 0:24:46cos they're allowing me to have a dog.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50I'm the only person with a dog in the hostel, so yes...

0:24:50 > 0:24:52You know, and drinking as well,

0:24:52 > 0:24:55you need to be in control of the dog and it was naughty what we did.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Yeah, it was naughty.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00So not again, cos Bella is a big girl and, you know,

0:25:00 > 0:25:05it's not very good when you've got a big dog to look after, so yes...

0:25:05 > 0:25:08We've been, um...been in the dog house.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14When he came out of prison three years ago,

0:25:14 > 0:25:20Warren and his 17-year-old girlfriend had a little boy, called Frankie.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22Frankie's mum, where is she now?

0:25:22 > 0:25:25She's actually in the Holloway prison now.

0:25:25 > 0:25:26And what is she in prison for?

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Riots.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30HE LAUGHS

0:25:31 > 0:25:36It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40- Why does it make you laugh? - Because it's quite funny, actually.

0:25:40 > 0:25:45The fact that she went out, riot and then, got arrested for it.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49- But a lot of people did, didn't they?- Why is that funny?

0:25:49 > 0:25:52I don't know why it's funny, it just makes me laugh for some reason,

0:25:52 > 0:25:54I don't know.

0:25:54 > 0:25:59Makes me laugh the fact that she was a bit sad to do it.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03I mean, she's meant to be a mother, really.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07- So it's her foolishness that makes you laugh?- Yeah, foolishness.

0:26:09 > 0:26:13THEY LAUGH

0:26:13 > 0:26:17'And then, I got custody of Frankie.'

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Are you tickly...?

0:26:20 > 0:26:23'So it is quite hard being a single dad, isn't it?

0:26:23 > 0:26:25'Yet, it is. It is hard.'

0:26:25 > 0:26:28So there you are, coping with Frankie,

0:26:28 > 0:26:31which, as you say, is a big responsibility.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Why would you then saddle yourself

0:26:33 > 0:26:36with the extra responsibility of an enormous dog?

0:26:36 > 0:26:37Because he keeps me company.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40HE BLOWS A WHISTLE

0:26:40 > 0:26:43No, stop it, Frankie!

0:26:43 > 0:26:48And what did your social worker think of you getting a dog, Warren?

0:26:48 > 0:26:49Well, it's only new to me,

0:26:49 > 0:26:51so the social worker still has to find out.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54HE LAUGHS

0:26:54 > 0:26:55Cos she still don't know yet.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58- She hasn't been here since you got Buddy?- No.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02- What do think she's going to say? - She comes once a month, you see. I've only had him two months nearly.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05Last month, they didn't come, so I don't know what they're going to say.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Ta-da!

0:27:07 > 0:27:08HE LAUGHS

0:27:28 > 0:27:30Good girl.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33What?!

0:27:33 > 0:27:34I found a body.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36A human one?

0:27:36 > 0:27:38Yes?

0:27:38 > 0:27:39Yes.

0:27:39 > 0:27:41A human body.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45- Are you serious, Sue?- Yeah.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48Sue, is it a dead one?

0:27:48 > 0:27:50Don't know. I was told by two people it looked dead.

0:27:50 > 0:27:55- And I didn't know what to do, so I just phoned the constabulary. - Where is it, there?

0:27:55 > 0:27:57It's just up against the hedgerow, there.

0:27:58 > 0:28:02So you two seem to come across a lot of death and destruction on the Heath.

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Oh, yes.

0:28:04 > 0:28:08Beautiful and fun-filled dogs beheaded.

0:28:08 > 0:28:12- Goats' heads.- I said goat's head.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14- He's sitting up!- He's alive!

0:28:14 > 0:28:16He's not dead.

0:28:24 > 0:28:29- What's your name?- Martin. - And what's your name?- Daisy.- Daisy.

0:28:29 > 0:28:33- And Daisy, is Martin your dad?- Yeah.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36- And what's the dog called?- Zen.

0:28:36 > 0:28:38Why is the dog called Zen?

0:28:38 > 0:28:40It's part of just the understanding

0:28:40 > 0:28:43that he doesn't know how to be anything else

0:28:43 > 0:28:45and he lives in the now, and...

0:28:45 > 0:28:48So there's no, no pretences, no past, no future.

0:28:48 > 0:28:54It's purely now, which is the basis of the Zen philosophy.

0:28:54 > 0:28:58And he's helped me in my recovery,

0:28:58 > 0:29:00so it just seemed to fit.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03Can you explain why you mean by that, Martin, your recovery?

0:29:03 > 0:29:05Well, I'm a recovering alcoholic.

0:29:05 > 0:29:08Um... I've...

0:29:08 > 0:29:12Yeah, it's being quite a trial, most of my life, on and off,

0:29:12 > 0:29:17but this time, I'm 18 months clean and sober,

0:29:17 > 0:29:23so things seem to be working properly this time, yeah.

0:29:23 > 0:29:26And how long have you had the dog?

0:29:26 > 0:29:30Um... Coming up, yeah, it's about 18 months, actually.

0:29:30 > 0:29:34Yeah, so it sort of tied in with my recovery.

0:29:37 > 0:29:39How did you get the dog, Martin?

0:29:39 > 0:29:42It was fate, I put it all down to fate,

0:29:42 > 0:29:46because he was tied up at my dentist practice

0:29:46 > 0:29:49and...and I got talking to a couple of the girls inside

0:29:49 > 0:29:53and they were on the verge of taking him to Battersea.

0:29:53 > 0:29:55And why didn't they want him?

0:29:55 > 0:29:56They just said they couldn't handle him.

0:29:56 > 0:30:01He'd been through four different owners and it was just too much, so...

0:30:03 > 0:30:07- Because of his behaviour? - Yeah, he was just too lively.

0:30:07 > 0:30:10He hadn't been socialised, he just didn't know where he was, basically.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13So I said, "Well, you know,

0:30:13 > 0:30:18"I'll have him if they, you know, want someone to have him."

0:30:26 > 0:30:28Do you love having a dog?

0:30:28 > 0:30:33Yeah, it's like having an extra person in the family.

0:30:33 > 0:30:37She's really, really cute

0:30:37 > 0:30:42and she's so funny and playful.

0:30:42 > 0:30:45It's just really nice to be around.

0:30:45 > 0:30:48Yeah, it's like an extra best friend for me.

0:30:48 > 0:30:52Is she a better friend than your other best friends?

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Yeah, yeah, I think so.

0:30:57 > 0:30:59So tell us, who's this?

0:30:59 > 0:31:03Her name is Nelly. Nelly, come here, darling.

0:31:05 > 0:31:09So she's called Nelly, and what is she, apart from being very big?

0:31:09 > 0:31:11She's called a Leonberger.

0:31:11 > 0:31:12Why have you got such a big dog?

0:31:12 > 0:31:14Cos I'm posey,

0:31:14 > 0:31:17and it's nice to have a big dog that's posey.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19But more importantly, she's a therapy dog,

0:31:19 > 0:31:22so I take her into care homes and hospices.

0:31:22 > 0:31:26She comes in and is trained to stand still to be stroked by strangers

0:31:26 > 0:31:29or lay down when she gets bored.

0:31:29 > 0:31:31Is there anything in your life

0:31:31 > 0:31:36that has made you want to work with people who are unwell?

0:31:36 > 0:31:38Um...

0:31:38 > 0:31:44Well, my daughter died of cancer in a hospice and so...

0:31:45 > 0:31:47..it's nice to be able to go into hospices

0:31:47 > 0:31:50and do something for those people who are dying.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53Yeah, so I suppose that was a sort of motivating factor.

0:31:53 > 0:31:54Come here!

0:31:56 > 0:31:57OK, go!

0:31:57 > 0:31:59Zen!

0:32:01 > 0:32:02Zen!

0:32:04 > 0:32:06That's good!

0:32:06 > 0:32:08SHE LAUGHS

0:32:08 > 0:32:11What's Zen's personality? What's his character?

0:32:11 > 0:32:13Zen!

0:32:13 > 0:32:14'He's funny.'

0:32:14 > 0:32:16SHE WHISTLES

0:32:16 > 0:32:18'He's a bit naughty.'

0:32:18 > 0:32:20Zen!

0:32:23 > 0:32:24This way, come here!

0:32:24 > 0:32:26Good boy!

0:32:27 > 0:32:30'And he can be rude as well.'

0:32:32 > 0:32:35- Does that remind you of anybody?- Me.

0:32:35 > 0:32:37THEY CHUCKLE

0:32:37 > 0:32:40Oh, yeah. But then, he can be sweet and lovely.

0:32:41 > 0:32:45- Does that sound like Daisy, Martin? - Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

0:32:45 > 0:32:49- Rude, naughty, but sweet and lovely? - Yeah.

0:32:49 > 0:32:52Underneath, we know it. So, you know, it's all OK.

0:32:53 > 0:32:58When I said, "Is Martin your dad?" you hesitated briefly,

0:32:58 > 0:33:00can you explain why, Daisy?

0:33:00 > 0:33:04Because he's not my dad, like, he's not biologically my dad,

0:33:04 > 0:33:08but he's been there since I was six, so... Yeah.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10- So you think of him as your dad? - Yeah.

0:33:12 > 0:33:14Martin, you've adopted Zen,

0:33:14 > 0:33:17you've also, you adopted Daisy

0:33:17 > 0:33:20and did you have to give Daisy boundaries too?

0:33:20 > 0:33:23Um, yeah.

0:33:23 > 0:33:24HE CHUCKLES

0:33:24 > 0:33:28I think that was part, part of it. Yeah, yeah.

0:33:28 > 0:33:34The discipline and... I think that's part of loving somebody, you know.

0:33:34 > 0:33:37You have to have boundaries in place

0:33:37 > 0:33:41and discipline and consequences and stuff like that.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44It's part of the deal, isn't it?

0:34:00 > 0:34:03Oh, Rick! Rick!

0:34:03 > 0:34:05What are you doing, come on! Good boy.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08- Hello, is this your dog? - He is, yes, he is.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11- What is his name?- His name is Rick. - And what breed is he?

0:34:11 > 0:34:14He's a Golden Retriever, he's actually my husband's dog.

0:34:14 > 0:34:16He's five, but he's a beautiful dog.

0:34:16 > 0:34:19- And what's your name?- I'm Karen.

0:34:19 > 0:34:25- And is that also your dog?- This my daughter's dog, this is Todd.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27They're joyous, both of them, in fact.

0:34:27 > 0:34:29Are you, do you walk them every day?

0:34:29 > 0:34:32Every day, yes. This is our circuit.

0:34:32 > 0:34:35Well, it's been every day for the last seven months,

0:34:35 > 0:34:37because my husband is not very well at the moment,

0:34:37 > 0:34:39he's in hospital, so...

0:34:39 > 0:34:41That's why we're here. But yes, every day.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44Come rain or come sunshine, we're here.

0:34:45 > 0:34:47So where do you live normally?

0:34:47 > 0:34:51Normally, we live in a lovely little village called Warter,

0:34:51 > 0:34:53in East Yorkshire.

0:34:55 > 0:34:59- So you actually live in Yorkshire? - Yes.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02But you've just been walking your dogs on the Heath for the last seven months?

0:35:02 > 0:35:04Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven months.

0:35:04 > 0:35:08My husband was taken, um...became very ill in, end of March last year.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10That's when he first went into hospital

0:35:10 > 0:35:14and he had a heart infection, which led to a massive haemorrhage.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16Some of the bacteria landed in the brain

0:35:16 > 0:35:19and caused a massive haemorrhage,

0:35:19 > 0:35:21which has left him paralysed on the left side.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27- So in the mornings, you're walking the dogs on the Heath?- Yeah.

0:35:27 > 0:35:30- And then, in the afternoon? - Into the hospital.

0:35:30 > 0:35:32Into the hospital, every afternoon.

0:35:32 > 0:35:35- And it's that seven days a week, is that your routine?- Yes, yeah, yeah.

0:35:35 > 0:35:39Every day. Seven days a week. I've just lost the dog. Rick!

0:35:41 > 0:35:42Toddie!

0:35:42 > 0:35:46- Do you mind if I just meander...? - No, go and get them.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49Rick! Rick.

0:35:49 > 0:35:50Rick. Here.

0:35:52 > 0:35:54Good boy. Toddie!

0:35:58 > 0:36:01Hello! Come on.

0:36:01 > 0:36:02Good boy! Good boy, good boy.

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Here. Toddie.

0:36:04 > 0:36:07Toddie. What a good boy you are.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09DOG BARKS

0:36:09 > 0:36:11Rick's the winner! Yeah!

0:36:11 > 0:36:13Yeah, Rick, come on, Rick.

0:36:51 > 0:36:53Come and show us, come and show us, Sheila.

0:36:53 > 0:36:56OK, OK. Stay there, Millie.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58That's her portrait.

0:36:58 > 0:36:59Did you take these?

0:36:59 > 0:37:01No, that was taken professionally.

0:37:01 > 0:37:04He has her breakfast and a tea under the table there.

0:37:04 > 0:37:05In the cafe?

0:37:05 > 0:37:07- Outside the cafe. - Outside the cafe.

0:37:07 > 0:37:12There's her showing her nice white teeth...

0:37:12 > 0:37:15Even that you've got Millie Snowflakes with you,

0:37:15 > 0:37:17why do you carry pictures of her as well, Sheila?

0:37:17 > 0:37:20I'll tell you why, to make sure I know where it is.

0:37:20 > 0:37:24Cos I... Things in my place get lost badly.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27- Is it not tidy at your place, Sheila?- Oh!

0:37:27 > 0:37:29I've got such a lot.

0:37:30 > 0:37:32What did she have for breakfast today, Sheila?

0:37:32 > 0:37:35Her Benecol yogurt.

0:37:35 > 0:37:38Why did she have Benecol yogurt?

0:37:38 > 0:37:42Well, we don't want her gaining furred up arteries on top of what she's got.

0:37:42 > 0:37:44And she likes it.

0:37:44 > 0:37:47But she's fussy about which one she has.

0:37:47 > 0:37:50- What flavour does she like? - Peach and apricot.

0:37:50 > 0:37:52- Is that good for dogs?- It's OK.

0:37:52 > 0:37:55Do you have it too, Sheila?

0:37:55 > 0:37:58Yes, we take two out of the fridge. And I have one and she has one.

0:37:59 > 0:38:02Is that a poo you've got in your pocket, Sheila?

0:38:02 > 0:38:05Yeah, I've got one poo and I'm going to put it in there.

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Well, nice to see you, Sheila. We'll let you get on.

0:38:10 > 0:38:11Come on, Millie.

0:38:11 > 0:38:14SHE HUMS

0:38:21 > 0:38:22We'll put the poo-poo in there,

0:38:22 > 0:38:25and then, we're going to go on walking.

0:38:25 > 0:38:27SHE HUMS

0:38:29 > 0:38:31Let's put the poo-poo in here.

0:38:31 > 0:38:33One poo-poo.

0:38:33 > 0:38:37One... come on!

0:38:37 > 0:38:39There you go, done!

0:38:39 > 0:38:41SHE HUMS

0:39:01 > 0:39:04That's it. That's it.

0:39:04 > 0:39:06And then, up.

0:39:06 > 0:39:07Well done.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09And up, John.

0:39:10 > 0:39:11Good.

0:39:11 > 0:39:12And down.

0:39:12 > 0:39:14And up.

0:39:14 > 0:39:15Good man.

0:39:18 > 0:39:20- Feeling all right?- Yeah.

0:39:20 > 0:39:23Big stretch, John. Good.

0:39:29 > 0:39:32John, do you miss the dog? I mean, you've been in hospital for a year.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34Do you miss the dog?

0:39:34 > 0:39:37Yeah, I do. He's a very gentle being.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40And he's always pleased to see me.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43And there's something very gentle about him.

0:39:43 > 0:39:46And I miss that gentleness.

0:39:46 > 0:39:49I think what I really miss is walking.

0:39:49 > 0:39:51I miss that enormously, taking...

0:39:51 > 0:39:55going with the dog and taking exercise.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00But I have asked whether I would need a wheelchair

0:40:00 > 0:40:05for the rest of my life, and I've been told, yes, I will.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08Are you able to accept that, John?

0:40:10 > 0:40:11I don't have much option.

0:40:11 > 0:40:14And how do you deal with it in your head?

0:40:14 > 0:40:17Well, it's just, it's a bloody nuisance.

0:40:24 > 0:40:28Now, no matter how bad my day's been,

0:40:28 > 0:40:32and there's been some very, very black and sad and worrying days,

0:40:32 > 0:40:34when I come home, the dogs are constant

0:40:34 > 0:40:36and they're so pleased to see you

0:40:36 > 0:40:39and you're forced to look outside your own world,

0:40:39 > 0:40:42which, you know, inevitably, becomes smaller and smaller the longer this is going on.

0:40:42 > 0:40:45You know, you can almost self-implode if you're not careful,

0:40:45 > 0:40:47and the dogs ground me very much.

0:40:47 > 0:40:50In the morning, if it's raining or how miserable I felt

0:40:50 > 0:40:53or if I had a bad night's sleep, which I've had a few of,

0:40:53 > 0:40:56there they are saying, "Come on, get on with the world, look around you.

0:40:56 > 0:40:59"Look how joyous this place is. You know, look at the bigger picture.

0:40:59 > 0:41:03"Look at the trees, coming into leaf and the birds starting to nest."

0:41:04 > 0:41:07It does help you to remain semi-normal,

0:41:07 > 0:41:09if I ever have been normal, which I doubt.

0:41:09 > 0:41:11SHE CHUCKLES

0:41:19 > 0:41:21- How is your day?- It's OK.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25When you're homeless and you haven't got anywhere to live,

0:41:25 > 0:41:27it is really, really hard, Vanessa.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30And that's why you turn to alcohol.

0:41:30 > 0:41:33I have woken up with, like, six stitches in my head

0:41:33 > 0:41:37and I sort of fractioned my skull last year.

0:41:37 > 0:41:41I looked like a boxer for about a month.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44It was really bad, actually. I had headaches for months.

0:41:44 > 0:41:49So there is like an indentation here and a sort of scar here.

0:41:50 > 0:41:53And we're doing the best we can do. We're, like, you know,

0:41:53 > 0:41:55one day at a time.

0:41:55 > 0:41:58Are you, either of you, on any medication to help with depression?

0:41:58 > 0:42:01- I'm on medication. - I'm on medication.

0:42:01 > 0:42:03I'm on diazepam

0:42:03 > 0:42:06and zopiclone, fluoxetine.

0:42:06 > 0:42:08That's for my depression.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11So which is more helpful for you, Gilly,

0:42:11 > 0:42:14having Bella or the medication, do you think?

0:42:14 > 0:42:15Bella.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Bella.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28# Can we be alone together?

0:42:30 > 0:42:35# Will you call me when you wake?

0:42:35 > 0:42:38# Will we feel like this for ever?

0:42:40 > 0:42:45# Will you call me if you break?

0:42:45 > 0:42:49BOTH: # Please don't listen to them

0:42:49 > 0:42:53# They're going to take you Away from me

0:42:56 > 0:42:59# Please don't listen to them

0:42:59 > 0:43:03# They want to take you away

0:43:07 > 0:43:10# Can we shoot the stars for ever?

0:43:12 > 0:43:16# Will you be there when they fall?

0:43:17 > 0:43:21# Catch them in our arms And tell them

0:43:23 > 0:43:26# Things that no-one else could know

0:43:28 > 0:43:30BOTH: # Please don't listen to them

0:43:30 > 0:43:34# They want to take you away from me

0:43:38 > 0:43:41# Please don't listen to them

0:43:41 > 0:43:45# They want to take you away. #

0:43:55 > 0:43:57Can you tell me your names?

0:43:57 > 0:43:59- I'm Tony.- Vicky.

0:43:59 > 0:44:01And what's the dog called?

0:44:01 > 0:44:02Nigel.

0:44:04 > 0:44:07So you've giving him a human name. Do you think of him as a human?

0:44:07 > 0:44:10Do I think of him as a human? No, no. I don't think he's a human,

0:44:10 > 0:44:12but, I mean, I do talk to him

0:44:12 > 0:44:16as if, obviously knowing that he's not going to respond.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18I suppose I talk to him as if he was a baby, you know,

0:44:18 > 0:44:20like, like one would talk to a baby.

0:44:22 > 0:44:25How many children do you have?

0:44:25 > 0:44:26Um...

0:44:26 > 0:44:27SHE CHUCKLES

0:44:27 > 0:44:31It's still the first person to actually phrase that question like that.

0:44:31 > 0:44:34Um... We had three. We have two now.

0:44:34 > 0:44:37We have two daughters.

0:44:37 > 0:44:40One is 31, one is 30.

0:44:40 > 0:44:45And we had a son who tragically was killed last October.

0:44:47 > 0:44:50In a paragliding accident. He was 25.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57We don't know all the details,

0:44:57 > 0:45:02but what we do know is that six of them were flying.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05It was apparently a beautiful day.

0:45:05 > 0:45:09It's late afternoon and, after a couple of hours,

0:45:09 > 0:45:13they landed and he wasn't there.

0:45:13 > 0:45:16It was about six o'clock by that time, in the evening.

0:45:16 > 0:45:21And, so we're told, the others went to look for him

0:45:21 > 0:45:24and they thought maybe he'd misunderstood

0:45:24 > 0:45:26the arranged landing place.

0:45:26 > 0:45:29And they went to another place and he wasn't there either.

0:45:29 > 0:45:33And they say they searched until it got dark.

0:45:33 > 0:45:36At first light, they called the emergency services

0:45:36 > 0:45:40and they found his body about, was it about a kilometre away?

0:45:40 > 0:45:44Yeah, in, in, in a gully...

0:45:44 > 0:45:48which wasn't accessible by foot, and they had to winch him up...

0:45:48 > 0:45:51But we don't know how,

0:45:51 > 0:45:55we don't know what happened and why he crashed.

0:45:55 > 0:45:58He was quite experienced.

0:45:58 > 0:46:04The inquest's... the result of the inquest was misadventure.

0:46:04 > 0:46:07And that's something that we will never know.

0:46:10 > 0:46:13We made the decision that either we could sit in the corner and cry

0:46:13 > 0:46:16or we could try and re-engage with life as best we can,

0:46:16 > 0:46:17and that's what we decided to do.

0:46:19 > 0:46:21Sit, Nigel! Good boy!

0:46:21 > 0:46:23'And he came along.'

0:46:23 > 0:46:25HE CHUCKLES

0:46:25 > 0:46:28He's in fact... we call him a rescue dog,

0:46:28 > 0:46:31because he's rescued us, not because he was a rescue dog.

0:46:31 > 0:46:35And he really has. Instead of sitting alone at night,

0:46:35 > 0:46:39someone said, "There's another beating heart in the house," and it's true.

0:46:41 > 0:46:44We don't do defeatism here. We only do positive.

0:46:44 > 0:46:47Help, use a reward. It's a difficult exercise.

0:46:47 > 0:46:50Come down, down.

0:46:50 > 0:46:51Keep your hand up near his collar,

0:46:51 > 0:46:54don't push him in the middle of the back! That's good!

0:46:54 > 0:46:56Treat away again, and then back again.

0:46:56 > 0:46:58'He's not a replacement. Of course, he's not.

0:46:58 > 0:47:00'But he's a massive distraction.'

0:47:00 > 0:47:02Good stuff! No more treats.

0:47:02 > 0:47:04And he's very therapeutic.

0:47:04 > 0:47:06And he needs our attention.

0:47:06 > 0:47:08Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves all the time,

0:47:08 > 0:47:10which, I can promise you, is very easy,

0:47:10 > 0:47:13we've got something, someone here, it's like a baby or something.

0:47:13 > 0:47:17I'd highly recommend it to anyone who has suffered a bereavement.

0:47:39 > 0:47:42- First of all, could you tell me what your name is?- Mark.

0:47:42 > 0:47:44- And is this your dog?- Yeah.

0:47:44 > 0:47:47- And what's the dog called? - Kidda.

0:47:47 > 0:47:48Kidda, how do you spell that?

0:47:48 > 0:47:50K, I, double D, A.

0:47:50 > 0:47:53- Is that, is that a boy or a girl? - A boy.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57- And what kind of dog is he? - A Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

0:47:57 > 0:48:00- And how long have you had him? - Seven years now, from a pup.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05Obviously, some people really like Staffies

0:48:05 > 0:48:08and some people don't like them so much. You obviously like them.

0:48:08 > 0:48:10- I love them, yeah. - What do you like about them?

0:48:10 > 0:48:14They're very, very good, caring dogs.

0:48:14 > 0:48:18They're not aggressive like a lot of people say they are.

0:48:18 > 0:48:20And they're very, very playful.

0:48:20 > 0:48:23And so, when people see you around with your dog, do they,

0:48:23 > 0:48:25do some people give you a wide berth?

0:48:25 > 0:48:27- A lot of people do, yeah.- Do they?

0:48:29 > 0:48:32What was happening seven years ago when you got the dog?

0:48:32 > 0:48:34Well, my dad was a little bit ill.

0:48:34 > 0:48:36He started to suffer with dementia.

0:48:36 > 0:48:39I gave up my place to go and live with him.

0:48:39 > 0:48:41- So it was just you and him? - Yeah.

0:48:41 > 0:48:43And you cared for him for how long?

0:48:43 > 0:48:45For about...

0:48:45 > 0:48:47about five, six years, in total.

0:48:47 > 0:48:51- Before that, what were you doing? - I was doing a bit of music.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Yeah, I was doing a bit of music. I was a PA for my friend Goldie.

0:48:54 > 0:48:58Well, basically, I was on 24-hour call-out to do anything, basically,

0:48:58 > 0:49:00what needed to be done and had to do with the music business.

0:49:00 > 0:49:04So you went from 24-hour rock 'n' roll lifestyle...

0:49:04 > 0:49:07- to 24-hour carer for your dad? - Yeah.

0:49:08 > 0:49:11But that's a big chunk of your life you've been doing that?

0:49:11 > 0:49:14Yeah, like some people say it's a big chunk of my life

0:49:14 > 0:49:19that I've flinged away, but, in my eyes, it's not flinged away.

0:49:19 > 0:49:23That was really the best time of my life, looking after my father.

0:49:23 > 0:49:27- So, presumably, the dog was living with you and your dad?- Yeah.

0:49:27 > 0:49:29How was your dad with the dog?

0:49:29 > 0:49:32He was all right with the dog at first.

0:49:32 > 0:49:36He used to love... The dog was, really, took up a lot of his time.

0:49:36 > 0:49:39He used to sit on the doorstep with the dog in the day time,

0:49:39 > 0:49:42but as the dementia got worsened...

0:49:42 > 0:49:47With some people a sign is that they get aggressive and don't realise they're getting aggressive.

0:49:47 > 0:49:49And the way my dad's got his walking stick,

0:49:49 > 0:49:51he would start waving the walking stick at the dog

0:49:51 > 0:49:55and the dog obviously didn't like it, he would never growl at my dad.

0:49:55 > 0:49:57But, obviously, when he's waving, I says,

0:49:57 > 0:50:00"But, Dad, you can't wave the stick at the dog like that, you can't do that."

0:50:00 > 0:50:02Until it got to a stage where, basically,

0:50:02 > 0:50:06I had to put the dog in the garden most of the times, yeah.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10Do you still visit him now, Mark?

0:50:10 > 0:50:13Yeah, every two days I go down to the day centre to see him.

0:50:13 > 0:50:14And does he recognise you now?

0:50:14 > 0:50:17Sometimes, he does.

0:50:17 > 0:50:19Looking at you, he might not.

0:50:19 > 0:50:21But when he hears my voice,

0:50:21 > 0:50:24it would take him time to circulate,

0:50:24 > 0:50:26his brain circulates and notice that's me.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29But yeah, he'd ask me a few times. "Is that you, is that you, Mark?"

0:50:29 > 0:50:31And I'd say, "Yeah, it's me, Dad."

0:50:31 > 0:50:35But looking at you, sometimes he won't recognise you.

0:50:35 > 0:50:40Are you someone who is naturally good at caring for another person?

0:50:40 > 0:50:42Yeah, I am, yeah.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45Like my sisters used to say to me,

0:50:45 > 0:50:47and my father, you know, my father, when he went ill,

0:50:47 > 0:50:50that I would never have nothing in life,

0:50:50 > 0:50:52because I give everything away, basically.

0:50:52 > 0:50:55And I care for other people more than you care for yourself sometimes.

0:50:55 > 0:50:57And that's what really frightens my sisters about me.

0:50:57 > 0:51:00They say I show too much love to other people

0:51:00 > 0:51:03and not enough to myself. Yeah.

0:51:03 > 0:51:04Is that true, Mark?

0:51:05 > 0:51:09I try to say to myself it's not true, but...

0:51:09 > 0:51:11in the real world, it's true. Yeah, it is true.

0:51:11 > 0:51:15- And who looks after you, Mark? - Well, basically, no-one.

0:51:15 > 0:51:18He's the only one who looks after me. I'd say it's the dog, really.

0:51:18 > 0:51:21It's him that keeps me going, like I said, yeah.

0:51:21 > 0:51:26- You need someone else to look after you, Mark.- Yeah, I know.

0:52:02 > 0:52:04Bertie!

0:52:04 > 0:52:06Come on!

0:52:08 > 0:52:09Hello!

0:52:29 > 0:52:30DOG BARKS

0:52:30 > 0:52:31Stop it.

0:52:31 > 0:52:33DOG CONTINUES BARKING

0:52:33 > 0:52:36It's April, and Dave and Kelly have had their baby.

0:52:36 > 0:52:38DOG BARKS

0:52:38 > 0:52:39Hey.

0:52:39 > 0:52:40DOG KEEPS BARKING

0:52:40 > 0:52:43Come on in! Don't mind the barking dog.

0:52:43 > 0:52:47Kelly stayed in the hospital for three nights with the baby

0:52:47 > 0:52:50and I came home after the second night

0:52:50 > 0:52:52and I brought home a blanket with me.

0:52:52 > 0:52:57I picked up Katie from a friend's house and brought a blanket home with me.

0:52:57 > 0:53:00The next morning when I went to have breakfast with them,

0:53:00 > 0:53:04and I kept bringing blankets home every time I would go to visit.

0:53:04 > 0:53:08I don't know that it had much effect, but they seem to get on all right.

0:53:08 > 0:53:12Katie's been very curious about her. She likes to sniff her.

0:53:12 > 0:53:13OK, so Katie wasn't traumatised

0:53:13 > 0:53:17by being separated from you during the birth?

0:53:17 > 0:53:19Katie, in the past, has never destroyed anything,

0:53:19 > 0:53:23she's never chewed anything, she's never wrecked any of our things.

0:53:23 > 0:53:26When I came home, she had destroyed two pairs of shoes.

0:53:26 > 0:53:29So I think that was a sign of her...

0:53:29 > 0:53:34of her nervousness and her stress, high stress levels.

0:53:36 > 0:53:40And are you aware of any feelings of nervousness yourselves

0:53:40 > 0:53:43about Katie being around the baby?

0:53:43 > 0:53:48Yeah, there was one point when, on the first day, we...

0:53:48 > 0:53:53Well, I guess it was our second day home, we had the baby in the crib

0:53:53 > 0:53:58and she started to cry and Katie growled at the crib.

0:53:58 > 0:54:01I think she thought the crib was hurting the baby.

0:54:01 > 0:54:05But to hear her growl in that direction made us a bit nervous.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08BABY CRIES

0:54:08 > 0:54:09Oh!

0:54:09 > 0:54:11SHE LAUGHS

0:54:11 > 0:54:12Sweetie.

0:54:12 > 0:54:13Hello.

0:54:15 > 0:54:18Some of this?

0:54:18 > 0:54:23I've never seen her show her teeth to the baby. I'm not worried.

0:54:23 > 0:54:25I think she loves this little thing,

0:54:25 > 0:54:27even though she doesn't really know what it is yet.

0:54:27 > 0:54:31- I would say cautious, but not worried.- Yeah. Yeah, of course.

0:54:36 > 0:54:37Good girl, come on.

0:54:40 > 0:54:41So, tell me, how is Bella?

0:54:41 > 0:54:44She's not very happy, she's on a diet.

0:54:44 > 0:54:48She needs to lose about six kilos.

0:54:48 > 0:54:50Yes, she's quite overweight.

0:54:50 > 0:54:52Was she ever overweight before, Gilly?

0:54:52 > 0:54:57No, she's become overweight whilst in the hostel,

0:54:57 > 0:54:58because everybody feeds her.

0:54:58 > 0:55:02They're, "Oh, there is a shank bone" or "there's some pizza."

0:55:02 > 0:55:05They're always sort of giving her things,

0:55:05 > 0:55:10so now, we, we just say, "No."

0:55:12 > 0:55:15And how was Easter, Gilly?

0:55:15 > 0:55:20Oh, Easter was very emotional. I didn't see my son over Easter.

0:55:20 > 0:55:22Did you see any of your children over Easter?

0:55:22 > 0:55:26I saw Orion, my eldest son, but it didn't see James and Joseph.

0:55:27 > 0:55:31So I was just waiting and waiting for them to ring

0:55:31 > 0:55:33and that's way I just didn't want to get up.

0:55:33 > 0:55:35I was just so fed up.

0:55:35 > 0:55:38I took a few sleeping tablets.

0:55:38 > 0:55:41- How many did you take? - I took 12.

0:55:41 > 0:55:43That's quite a lot.

0:55:43 > 0:55:44Yes, it was.

0:55:44 > 0:55:46It was enough to knock me out.

0:55:46 > 0:55:50Did it cross your mind that you might never wake up?

0:55:51 > 0:55:55Um, it didn't really bother me, actually.

0:55:55 > 0:55:58Doesn't really bother me not waking up.

0:55:58 > 0:56:03Is there anything to feel optimistic about at this point?

0:56:03 > 0:56:05I just have to take each day as it comes.

0:56:05 > 0:56:09I can't get any lower, really.

0:56:09 > 0:56:12You have to look at it that way

0:56:12 > 0:56:14or you'd be feeling sorry for yourself constantly.

0:56:14 > 0:56:16It could be worse.

0:56:16 > 0:56:19- We could have fleas, we could have head lice.- Scabies.

0:56:19 > 0:56:21We could have scabies.

0:56:21 > 0:56:22It could be worse.

0:57:55 > 0:57:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd