0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:08It's a dangerous time to be a soldier in the British Army...
0:00:09 > 0:00:14..as almost 380 troops have been killed in Afghanistan
0:00:14 > 0:00:19and over 1,700 seriously injured.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Show me your war face! - THEY ROAR
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Stop being weak!
0:00:23 > 0:00:28And yet thousands of young men from all across the UK want to join the army
0:00:28 > 0:00:31and get their chance to fight for their country.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34When you're going, you will go.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42This series tells the story of four young men
0:00:42 > 0:00:46on their journey from civvies to soldiers...
0:00:46 > 0:00:49It's got 30 bastard-odd pence in!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52..beginning on their very first day as new recruits...
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Turn! You got it wrong!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58..through to frontline combat in Helmand.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- Jump! - GUNFIRE
0:01:01 > 0:01:04SHOUTING
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Jesus Christ.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09SHOUTING
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Catterick, North Yorkshire,
0:01:28 > 0:01:32one of the biggest army bases in the world.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Pick your kit up and follow me.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40For the next 26 weeks, this will be home to 28 recruits...
0:01:41 > 0:01:45..all beginning their life in the British Army.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54There are no formal qualifications required to join the infantry.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59The recruits just need to be between the ages of 17 to 32,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03have minimal reading and writing skills
0:02:03 > 0:02:07and be prepared to lay their life on the line for Queen and country.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I tried college, it wasn't for me.
0:02:10 > 0:02:15There was too many kids, who weren't old enough. It just wasn't me.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24If anybody says you're not scared of going to a warzone...
0:02:24 > 0:02:26WOMAN: Who's next, please?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29..they're not human, obviously. But it's...
0:02:29 > 0:02:34After you're trained, I think it mentally and physically prepares you for it.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00You don't need your ties now.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03If you've got a shirt on, take it off now.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Next two, let's go. Chuck it back.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- Ashley Cavanagh left school at 16. - Send him in as soon as he's ready.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17He's spent the past two years stacking shelves in Asda.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Afternoon.- Afternoon.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- What's your name? - Cavanagh, sir.- Cavanagh.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Right. You will now be known as Rifleman Cavanagh.
0:03:24 > 0:03:30You officially commence training today. Today is your official start day in the army.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35- From today, you will serve a minimum of four years.- Right.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38'It's just nerves at the moment, I think.'
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You're with strange people that you've never met in your life
0:03:42 > 0:03:46and you're going to be spending a lot of time with them.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48And you're scared to smile!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Almost 380 British troops have been killed in Afghanistan
0:03:55 > 0:04:00and nearly 300 of them were trained right here at Catterick.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05If these new recruits pass out and complete their training,
0:04:05 > 0:04:09some could be deployed to the frontline within three months.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12In you go, guys. Grab yourselves a seat.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23First of all, welcome. You've made a big decision by coming here
0:04:23 > 0:04:25and deciding to become soldiers in the British Army.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Be proud of what you're doing
0:04:27 > 0:04:31and be proud of the regiment you're joining.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33It's not going to be easy.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36The main thing, though, guys, is mental robustness.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Almost everything that you do here is all up here.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Almost certainly, all of you at some point will deploy to Afghanistan.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Some of you, within a few months of leaving this place,
0:04:48 > 0:04:53the things that you are taught here could potentially save your lives
0:04:53 > 0:04:55as well as your fellow soldiers' lives.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58That's why you need to pay attention.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02If you're tired and you're not really listening,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05make sure you buck up your ideas and listen in.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Only those that are good enough will leave this place as a trained soldier.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14If you're not good enough, I will make you leave.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Plain and simple.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20If you want to stand up now...
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- I... - THEY RECITE OWN NAMES
0:05:25 > 0:05:29- ..swear by Almighty God... - THEY REPEAT VERBATIM
0:05:29 > 0:05:35..that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance
0:05:35 > 0:05:40to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43her heirs and successors
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and that I will
0:05:45 > 0:05:49as in duty bound
0:05:49 > 0:05:55honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty
0:05:55 > 0:05:58against all enemies
0:05:58 > 0:06:03and will observe and obey all orders
0:06:03 > 0:06:05of Her Majesty
0:06:05 > 0:06:09and of the generals and officers
0:06:09 > 0:06:11set over me.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You are officially soldiers.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Left, right! Left, right! Left, right!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32The recruits won't be allowed to leave the base
0:06:32 > 0:06:36or see their families for the next five weeks.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42Once training begins, they'll have limited access to their phones.
0:06:43 > 0:06:48As Ashley prepares to spend a daunting first night in the army, he's calling his dad.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51We've just settled in now
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and it's going to start getting harder from tomorrow.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Yeah, yeah.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01All right, then, Dad. Love you, too.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03See you soon. Bye.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I'm quite an emotional person with my family and stuff.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12Even away from my family for, like, a few days or months, or how long it is,
0:07:12 > 0:07:15it's still emotional to speak to them.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm happy when I get to speak to them, definitely.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21It's just the first five weeks are going to be hard.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Your fitness isn't as good as what it's going to be,
0:07:24 > 0:07:28with all the training and stuff, and, erm,...
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Yeah, it's just weird!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Especially when they say "I love you, too",
0:07:33 > 0:07:37you know, you just want to go home, but...
0:07:37 > 0:07:40It'll be all worth it in the end, definitely.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Definitely.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Ashley has left behind his parents and younger brother in Leeds.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55For his dad, having a son in the army
0:07:55 > 0:07:58is taking some getting used to.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00This is Ashley's room.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04It's quite neat and tidy because he's not here!
0:08:07 > 0:08:11He's quite a good dancer. He'll probably be a bit embarrassed about this!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13He won that for...
0:08:13 > 0:08:18It was to do with some charity to do with Asda. He were chuffed to bits.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21This is one that he videoed himself.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24MUSIC: "Beat Again" By JLS
0:08:26 > 0:08:30He weren't in the house and he videoed it and said, "Dad, look what I've got!"
0:08:34 > 0:08:36HE LAUGHS
0:08:37 > 0:08:40I took him to the train station and I thought,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43"Crikey, I'm not going to start bubbling in front of everybody!"
0:08:43 > 0:08:47But... You know, I literally did, and I...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49I waved him off on the train thinking,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52"Crikey, he really is going now!"
0:08:52 > 0:08:57I was stood there with a handkerchief! I had to suddenly compose myself!
0:08:57 > 0:09:03I'll be honest with you, at first, I tried to talk him out of it because, er,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07I guess the Afghanistan situation and, you know...
0:09:07 > 0:09:11It's the totally unknown. And you're not just fighting,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14you've got all these IEDs and things like that.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16That's what frightens me.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18ALARM CLOCK BEEPS
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Before the reality of war,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30the recruits have to face another battle...
0:09:30 > 0:09:33A daily wake-up time of 5am.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38They'll need to get to grips with the basics...
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Do not get the blade and go side to side.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46- The sideboards are not down here, they are in the middle. - Happy lads?- ALL: Yes, Corporal.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49..learn the highest standards of hygiene...
0:09:49 > 0:09:53Make sure they're scrubbed inside. Get that toilet bowl clean every morning.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56What are you doing? Get out. Keep your hat on.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59..start conducting themselves in a military fashion...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Get out and march in properly.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08..and learn about personal presentation - army style.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Jackets - the rear one overlapping the one in front of it.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Three-finger spacing in between each crease.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18One main crease on each towel.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21For your week-five inspection by the OC,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24your locker has to look exactly like that.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28And when I say "exactly", I mean the finest detail.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32You may think to yourselves, "That seems a bit bullshitty."
0:10:32 > 0:10:37However, it's so you learn, as a soldier, at the basics
0:10:37 > 0:10:40to get things correct to a specific detail. OK?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Everyone happy with that? - ALL: Yes, Corporal.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46How the hell can you get one straight fold?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51A long way from guns and grenades,
0:10:51 > 0:10:55the first piece of hardware the lads need to master
0:10:55 > 0:10:56is the iron.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Get your steam coming out.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Start on one part of the top, ensuring that you keep that line.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Use your hand to keep it flush all the way down.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Iron on the inside, right the way up to the middle
0:11:06 > 0:11:09and then follow it down all the way, like so.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I'm going to be here all bloody night!
0:11:14 > 0:11:21Ashley's roommate, 19-year-old Lee Howard, left school with no qualifications.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Before joining the army, he was training to be a hairdresser.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29We're all getting on quite well, taking the mick and everyone takes a laugh.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31We sort of help each other out.
0:11:31 > 0:11:36- HE SIGHS - You're leaving everything behind.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Everything. Everything you know.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41All your friends, family, everything.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44I haven't even spoke to them, really, today.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47I wanted to get into army life straight away.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52You're not going to speak to them when you're in flipping Afghan, are you?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Lee has left his hometown of Eastbourne,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00where he lives with his mum.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04This is Lee's bedroom.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08He decided to pack the day before he left,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11so it was just a mad panic.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16And he's left his pink socks and pants behind! Look!
0:12:16 > 0:12:21He got this for Christmas and the dog chewed it up a bit. He doesn't know about that.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23And...
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- He got that for Christmas? Not this Christmas?- Yes.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33It was Saturday.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38He did a load of shopping and did his packing, so that's what kept him occupied.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41And then on the Sunday morning, he was just crying the whole time.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44And at the station.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Lee isn't Donna's only son who's in the army.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Her eldest, Chris, has already done a tour of Afghanistan.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Chris didn't tell me anything.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59In fact, he rung me on the Tuesday night
0:12:59 > 0:13:03and said it was really quiet over there and not to worry,
0:13:03 > 0:13:06because I was constantly worried all the time,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08and Thursday morning, he got blown up.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Two people from the army showed me their warrants
0:13:15 > 0:13:21and they said, "Are you the mother of Christopher Howard?" That was it, I just fell to pieces.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23They said he'd been very seriously injured.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26And, erm, I was like, "Are you sure he's not dead?"
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I was like, you know, desperate.
0:13:29 > 0:13:34I was thinking, "Perhaps they're not going to tell me he's dead."
0:13:34 > 0:13:37They said, "No, but he's very, very seriously injured.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40"He's lost a hand and a leg."
0:13:40 > 0:13:45Chris is currently recovering in an army rehab facility.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Donna's concerned the same might happen to Lee.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52You get married and your husband has an affair,
0:13:52 > 0:13:57it doesn't mean the next one will. D'you know what I mean?
0:13:57 > 0:14:02Or if you have a child with Downs Syndrome, doesn't mean the next baby's going to be.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05You can't live like that because you just won't move on.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Lee's 19, he's an adult.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11I probably could've talked him out of it,
0:14:11 > 0:14:15but who I am to talk him out of something he wants to do?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I haven't got the right to do that.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Anyone can get hurt. It's the name of the job, isn't it?
0:14:23 > 0:14:24Simple as.
0:14:24 > 0:14:30You sign up and you know... You even get told in your selection,
0:14:30 > 0:14:32they tell you, "This is what can happen."
0:14:32 > 0:14:37They show you pictures, gory pictures, and things like that, so it's no surprise, is it?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40He's had friends die, he's had friends hurt.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43I've met loads of them that are injured.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Nothing's putting me off. No way.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I'm definitely sticking out the six months.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50No way I'm going home!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58There's inspections in half an hour.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Got to get it all prim and proper.
0:15:02 > 0:15:07Before the recruits can start to look like real soldiers and receive their regimental berets,
0:15:07 > 0:15:11they'll have to pass an official locker inspection in four weeks' time.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Stop moving, Howard.
0:15:13 > 0:15:19Right, fellas. Boots - sort them out so they're stood to attention. Heels together.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Is your locker some kind of refrigerator, is it?
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- What's that?- I don't know, Sergeant. - I'm asking you what it is! - Piece of paper, Sergeant.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33But as the practice inspections begin, there's room for improvement.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- You've got empty bottles in the bottom of your locker! - That's got change -- Get it out!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41It's got 30 bastard-odd pence in!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Get rid of it now.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS - Why isn't your kit in there?
0:15:47 > 0:15:52It's too much like hard work to get it bastard ironed the night before!
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Not good enough, fellas. Not good enough at all.
0:15:57 > 0:16:02Former shelf-stacker Ashley is beginning to feel the strain.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Everything was perfect in my locker this morning, erm,
0:16:06 > 0:16:08and they still ripped it out.
0:16:08 > 0:16:13That was perfect, in a square block like that, as that is now,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15all the same size, kind of nearly A4,
0:16:15 > 0:16:19exactly nearly A4... Well, they are A4, yeah.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23So he'll come tomorrow and he'll pull them out again.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25They're just trying to break us down.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Until week five, they're just going to treat us like shit.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Enter the pool!
0:16:34 > 0:16:37GO!
0:16:38 > 0:16:42The most important attribute a soldier needs is his fitness.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Keep it going, gentlemen!
0:16:45 > 0:16:50And even though all the recruits needs to be fit before they can even join,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53to be ready for combat in Afghanistan
0:16:53 > 0:16:56they'll need to be as fit as professional athletes.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58There's a long way to go.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I didn't say get out the pool, did I?
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Ten press-ups, gentlemen! Go!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Some of them are a bit scared. But they'll get used to it.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12It's the army.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Kick! KICK!
0:17:15 > 0:17:18LEE: I've never had anything like this.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23It was just knackering. Legs cramping up and everything. They just beasted us, pretty much.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27That's probably the first time I've thought, "Sh... What am I doing?"
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- Shut up.- Yes, Sergeant.- Shut up.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34But it's not just fitness they need to master.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38It's teamwork and discipline, also known as drill.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43Stand up straight, fellas. Just come to attention now.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Head up.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50What we're going to go through is your first drill lesson to get you to work as a team.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Stand. Ready!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Rifles.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55One!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57That's how little girls run, don't they?
0:17:57 > 0:18:02Drive it into the ground! Drive it in so you can hear the noise from your boot.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Rifles! - THEY SHOUT
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Right or wrong,
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- stand perfectly still after the movement, yes?- ALL: Yes, Sergeant.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Don't be embarrassed about screaming. I love it.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Stand at ease!- ALL: Out!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Come on, gentlemen, stop the disco dancing.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22You're still moving when I'm telling you to stand still.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25There's no hiding from me, lads, I can see you.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Turn!- One, step. Two, step. Three, step. Out!
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Lee, left and right, having difficulties, are we?
0:18:31 > 0:18:36- Left! Turn!- One, step. Two, step. Three, stop. Out!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38You got it wrong!
0:18:38 > 0:18:43Left, right, left, right.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Stop looking at the ground! It is not going to move!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Easy, fellas. We'll practice and practise until we get it right.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54It's head-banging. I've got a headache.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58And it really hurts the soles of your feet. It kills, honestly.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03That's why everybody's moving, like that. But you can't move, you get told off.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05It's pretty hard!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Don't let me catch you on your phones after nine o'clock.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31There's stuff to fucking be done. It needs to get cracked.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Are you happy with that, lads? - ALL: Yes, Corporal!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38As the second week draws to an end,
0:19:38 > 0:19:42homesickness is starting to kick in.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48You do sit down and think that you are missing home.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52And it's... It's a reality check, definitely.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56When you're at home, you get up whatever time you want if you're not working.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01You have days off. You finish at four, five o'clock. You go home, see your friends.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02It's totally different.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07It's true, the needs of the army comes before the needs of your life.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11He looks so different. Look at him there.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14He was at primary school.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19These are primary school, as well. That was his classmates.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Ashley's mum is hoping the army's going to change him.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29It sounds awful to say, but I think Ashley will change for the better.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32For the better, definitely. Because I think, you know...
0:20:32 > 0:20:35My dad was a military man
0:20:35 > 0:20:38and we were brought up quite... really strict.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Ashley wasn't. We've sort of been...
0:20:40 > 0:20:44I thought,"I don't want to be as strict with Ashley as my parents were with me."
0:20:44 > 0:20:48So we've sort of maybe been a bit too soft.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51He can be a little bit selfish.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55We've all got us bad traits, but I think it'll make him grow up
0:20:55 > 0:20:58and make him realise how hard it is,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01especially for you, for me, you know,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04and an idea of what life's about.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I think he's maybe had it easy for the last few years.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Ashley's roommate, Darren Meads,
0:21:15 > 0:21:19is also hoping the army's going to change his life for the better.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24There's no jobs on Civvy Street at all.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I've been out of work for nearly three years.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32I've just been working with the TA and then waiting to come and join the regulars.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36I wasn't really doing anything. Just being a bum, really.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38It's...
0:21:38 > 0:21:41It's a weird country at the minute.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Bring it round.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47When you've done your laces, tuck them in the back of there,
0:21:47 > 0:21:52and then with your sock, pull it over the top so it hides your laces, so they don't fucking fall out.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Pull that over the top.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Unlike the majority of recruits at Catterick,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Darren Meads has already done a tour of duty in Afghanistan
0:22:01 > 0:22:05as a part-time soldier with the Territorial Army.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08He now wants to make a career as a professional soldier.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13That's him. He weren't very old. I think he were about,
0:22:13 > 0:22:15er, I'd say a week old.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18That's a school picture.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22But that's him when he's being given his medal.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26I like that picture. I'm very proud of that picture.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30That's my son. That's my soldier son.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Darren's mum and his stepdad know more than most the difficulties you face
0:22:34 > 0:22:38when your son's doing a tour of duty.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Nobody wants their sons to go to war.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47There's always going to be wars, and soldiers to fight the wars,
0:22:47 > 0:22:50but you don't want it to be yours. Erm...
0:22:50 > 0:22:53So... I can't explain it.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57I can feel a lump in my throat as I'm even thinking about it.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00The worst part about it, every time they said,
0:23:00 > 0:23:04"A British soldier has been killed in Afghanistan. The family have been informed,"
0:23:04 > 0:23:09I breathed a sigh of relief, and then felt guilty
0:23:09 > 0:23:13because somebody else's child had been killed or maimed or hurt.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18I stopped breathing, I think, from the minute he went,
0:23:18 > 0:23:23and I think I started breathing again when he came back and he was OK.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Although Darren was a reservist in the TA,
0:23:27 > 0:23:30he still got a taste of combat when the war came to him.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34This is from Afghan.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38It's when we hit Sky News!
0:23:38 > 0:23:43Er, "A British soldier at the scene of the explosion in Kabul."
0:23:43 > 0:23:45That's me.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I think we had two days left of tour
0:23:49 > 0:23:54and that was when the suicide car bomber hit our camp.
0:23:54 > 0:24:00There was 94 wounded. Guys lost limbs.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Erm...
0:24:02 > 0:24:08Out of the nine people that died, I think there was three soldiers.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Emotional day, that was. Big time.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17A lot of innocent people got killed, Afghan people got killed
0:24:17 > 0:24:19and injured, and things like that.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22That was probably the worst day of my life.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Beveridge, Cresswell.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40And the last one, Milligan.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Up until week 12 of training, the recruits have the right
0:24:43 > 0:24:47to discharge themselves and leave the army.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Send him in, please.- Yes.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53However, once those 12 weeks have passed,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56they are then committed by military law to serve Queen and country
0:24:56 > 0:24:59for a minimum of four years.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02So the recruits have to be sure the army is for them.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06"Sir, I am 30124880, Private Cresswell,
0:25:06 > 0:25:11"and I wish to drop out of my army training because I feel like I am not ready
0:25:11 > 0:25:14"as I am not old enough, and this could affect others."
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Three weeks into basic training, and as the course starts to get more intense,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22more recruits are wanting to quit.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25If you leave, what are you going to do?
0:25:25 > 0:25:31If it was me and I had two kids, I wouldn't want to sign on the dole at 40-fucking-pound a week.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36That's what I came in here for, to have a good career for myself.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39You haven't given it a fucking chance. You struggle. So what?
0:25:39 > 0:25:43You double your efforts and get it right. You stick at it and you pass.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45You don't just give up...
0:25:45 > 0:25:49..and go in a strop because you don't pick things up straight away.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53You show a bit of fucking grit. You're a fucking Jock.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58'For some of them, it's just like last-chance saloon because of the way the country is.'
0:25:58 > 0:26:02A lot of them won't have worked before and things like that.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05So it is a shock. They're up at half five every morning.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08They're not getting to their beds till half past 11.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12- Left, quick, march. - BOY: Left, right, left.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15For those who have decided that the army isn't for them,
0:26:15 > 0:26:20they're stripped of their uniform and ordered to return their army-issue equipment.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36For the recruits remaining,
0:26:36 > 0:26:40there's still another 21 weeks to go.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44They now need to learn how to carry their own kit.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47It's quite heavy once you've got your two full water bottles in...
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- And your weapon. - And your weapon, yes.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53It does get heavy, doesn't it, after a while?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Especially if you're tiny, like me.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59When they deploy to Afghanistan, they could be fighting in conditions of over 50 degrees
0:26:59 > 0:27:04and carrying kit and body armour weighing over 100 pounds.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08For Ashley Cavanagh, who's worried he's too small to be a soldier,
0:27:08 > 0:27:12he's come up with a new way to help cope with his heavy kit -
0:27:12 > 0:27:15his mum's sanitary towels.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17I'm using them today, I'm telling you.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21He's only got little shoulders, bless him.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24It's worth doing.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28It's worth doing, especially if your shoulders...
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Take your watch off. Take your belt off, as well.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Get your water bottle.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37BELL RINGS It's such a rush.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Get in there! For fuck's sake!
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- March!- ALL: March!
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Quick march!- ALL: Quick march!
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Stay together, gentlemen! Stay with me!
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Stop making girly noises!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Why the fuck have you got a jumper on and a vest?
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Get your kit on! Get it on! Get a move on!
0:28:07 > 0:28:10All of your kit! You, all of your kit!
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Hurry up! Don't piss me about, gentlemen!
0:28:13 > 0:28:19Get on your belt buckles, not crawl! Let's go!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22Switch on, gentlemen. Let's go!
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Don't give in. Don't give in.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27He's losing a lot of blood! Let's go!
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Get in the water! Now!
0:28:32 > 0:28:38Don't fucking stop! You wouldn't stop on the battlefield! Come on, a bit of aggression!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41The recruits have to be pushed like never before
0:28:41 > 0:28:45- to try to prepare them for the physical demands of Afghanistan... - Let's go!
0:28:46 > 0:28:49..and turn them into fighting machines.
0:28:49 > 0:28:50Go! Go!
0:28:51 > 0:28:53It's ace!
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Down the hill in a chair!
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Whilst the sanitary towels are working for Ashley,
0:28:58 > 0:29:02ex-hairdresser Lee is struggling with the intensity.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Pitch up and cool down. Well done.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14Have a bit of grit determination to carry on when you're fucked.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Well fucking done.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Well done. All right?
0:29:22 > 0:29:25- Everyone find that hard? - ALL: Yes, Sir.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27BACKGROUND CHATTER
0:29:27 > 0:29:28I was struggling.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33ASHLEY: I enjoyed that, me.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36He went, "Bit of aggression" and I went "Rrrgh!"
0:29:37 > 0:29:43It were good. I proper enjoyed it. But because I'm so small, it was hard to pick people up.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46- You've got to stop saying, "I can't do it."- I did it!
0:29:46 > 0:29:51I picked him up and I'm proud of myself. I didn't think I'd be able to do it.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55I'm happy. I'm really happy. I enjoyed that thoroughly.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57I've been waiting to actually do something.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Plus, that's getting your fitness up for your PFA.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05And when I leave here in five weeks, I go home, big muscle man for Lauren!
0:30:05 > 0:30:09We had the biggest lad, six foot three, and we were trying to drag him!
0:30:09 > 0:30:12Still smashed it, though. I'm fucking proud of that.
0:30:12 > 0:30:17I can take my fanny pads out now! BACKGROUND CHATTER
0:30:17 > 0:30:21Do you want me to show you them? BOYS LAUGH
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Agh! Fuck! That hurts!
0:30:23 > 0:30:25They've expanded, look! Eurgh!
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- Minging.- Oh, man!
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Whilst Ashley is upbeat about his new life as a soldier,
0:30:30 > 0:30:34Lee is finding it difficult to adjust to army life
0:30:34 > 0:30:37and is calling his mum for some moral support.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41This is a difficult one, mate.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44I mean, you don't get no freedom here.
0:30:44 > 0:30:48You get told what to do, when to do it,
0:30:48 > 0:30:51and if you don't abide by the rules, you get beasted.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55Either that, or you're running all night, every night,
0:30:55 > 0:30:57until they think...
0:30:57 > 0:31:01..until they think, "Yeah..." or, like, when to stop.
0:31:04 > 0:31:10Former tiler Andrew Forti is starting to lose patience with his fellow recruit Lee.
0:31:10 > 0:31:16He just forgets most of the things that he's been taught really.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19- He can't retain information, can he? - Yes.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22I don't think that, I think he gets in his own little world
0:31:22 > 0:31:25and, er, just forgets everything.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27I have no idea who you're talking about!
0:31:29 > 0:31:32You don't mind helping people out,
0:31:32 > 0:31:36but when it's constantly the same things over and over,
0:31:36 > 0:31:39it can get a bit frustrating.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43I think he's here for the wrong reasons.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46When you say, "Why are you here, Lee?"
0:31:46 > 0:31:50he's like, "For my brother." You should be here for yourself.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55'If he thinks he's shit, he shouldn't be here.'
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Lee's brother, Chris Howard,
0:32:00 > 0:32:03was four months into a tour of Afghanistan
0:32:03 > 0:32:05when one morning, on a routine patrol,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08he stepped on an improvised explosive device,
0:32:08 > 0:32:10or IED.
0:32:14 > 0:32:19When an explosion goes off, you feel the force of it first.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22It's like a wave, a shockwave.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26Like any explosion, you'll feel the shockwave before you hear it.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28And I felt a shockwave
0:32:28 > 0:32:33and then it went all black in the background, like, everything else.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Because obviously, all the dust kicks off,
0:32:36 > 0:32:39you don't know what injuries you've got yet.
0:32:39 > 0:32:45Obviously, my right hand, I lost three fingers, well, three-and-a-half fingers.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48I've still got my thumb and a bit of my palm.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50I lost half the hand.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54I've got a fixed wrist now, so I can't bend it.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59And that's it really. That's all my injuries.
0:33:00 > 0:33:05I was quite lucky, really, compared to some others.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09I was 18. He was 16.
0:33:09 > 0:33:15He was doing hairdressing. I couldn't ever see him joining the army, personally.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19He's not strong in the head, if you know what I mean. He's, er...
0:33:19 > 0:33:24Not being horrible to him, but he's always had Mum there.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29- 40.- Yes?- Can you come and show me how to do these trousers, please?
0:33:29 > 0:33:32CHRIS: He's not had to look after himself.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35He's not had to stand up for himself at all.
0:33:44 > 0:33:50The British Armed Forces currently have around 9,500 troops deployed in Afghanistan.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54And for the infantry soldiers fighting the Taliban on the ground,
0:33:54 > 0:33:59one of the most important pieces of equipment they carry is their rifle.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03To be fit for duty, the recruits have to know it inside out,
0:34:03 > 0:34:06as they could be fighting on the frontline within three months.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09The SA80 A2 is your personal weapon.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11You must become skilled in this weapon
0:34:11 > 0:34:16- to kill all enemy on the battlefield. Do you understand? - ALL: Yes, Corporal!
0:34:16 > 0:34:19Starting from the front, the first thing that we have, lads,
0:34:19 > 0:34:22is the muzzle and flash eliminator.
0:34:22 > 0:34:26OK, then we have the trigger,
0:34:26 > 0:34:28trigger housing
0:34:28 > 0:34:30and safety catch.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37Prep for firing out onto the point.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Make sure you've got your helmets and ear defence on.
0:34:43 > 0:34:47Like most of the recruits, Ashley and Lee have never been around guns...
0:34:47 > 0:34:50- Do you have to put these on? - ..let alone fired one.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05I'm a bit nervous.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08It's going to be mad, isn't it?
0:35:08 > 0:35:11I bet you when first go, I'll be like that...
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- You've got that added bit of pressure, haven't you?- Huh?
0:35:17 > 0:35:22- You've got that added bit of pressure.- Me? Why? - Because of your brother and that.
0:35:24 > 0:35:30Right, Detail two... GUNSHOTS DROWN OUT SPEECH
0:35:30 > 0:35:34..three, Howard. Four, Gerrard.
0:35:34 > 0:35:38GUNSHOTS DROWN OUT SPEECH
0:35:38 > 0:35:42You're detail two. They're your lanes. Make sure you go on them.
0:35:47 > 0:35:53Firing the rifle and the feeling of live ammo has to become second nature to them.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- Ready!- Ready.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08In your own time, go on!
0:36:15 > 0:36:20You're snatching the trigger. Take off your helmets and ear defence.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25The army needs these lads to become proficient marksmen,
0:36:25 > 0:36:29as it could save their life and the lives of their fellow soldiers.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Just needs tightening up. That'll come.
0:36:31 > 0:36:36I find the best thing to do is fire, lower it a bit, bring it back up,
0:36:36 > 0:36:38take a shot, lower it...
0:36:38 > 0:36:41So you're not just in that aim position all the time.
0:36:41 > 0:36:46- Besides that, not a bad effort. Patch up.- Yes, Corporal.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49That's nerve-racking.
0:36:49 > 0:36:54- What was that? That was standing. - Corporal.- That's when you were snatching the trigger.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- Remember I told you?- Yes.- Put it in the shoulder a little bit more
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- and not snatch the trigger. Happy? - Yes, Corporal.- Patch up.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Thinking that... Knowing that... HE STAMMERS
0:37:13 > 0:37:17..you will be able to take a person's life with that weapon...
0:37:17 > 0:37:19..is crazy.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27I think that's what happens in Afghanistan.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29If they shoot at me, I'm going to shoot back.
0:37:29 > 0:37:33I'd rather take his life than mine be taken, so...
0:37:44 > 0:37:50It's been five weeks since the recruits joined the army and last saw their loved ones.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Tomorrow, their families will come to visit,
0:37:54 > 0:37:57taking their sons back home with them for a long weekend.
0:37:59 > 0:38:03But before the recruits can think about the luxuries of home...
0:38:03 > 0:38:08- Nerve-racking, isn't it?- Silly little things get picked up now. Things that you can't even spot.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12..they need to pass their official inspection by their Officer Commanding
0:38:12 > 0:38:15and be awarded their regimental berets.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18And Lee is still slowing them down.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21- Has that crease gone now? - Turn around.
0:38:21 > 0:38:27- That looks shit, mate, to be fair. - The creases are fine. It's shit because they're old.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31- Cheers for the confidence, dickhead. - I'm just telling you the truth.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34OFFICER: We'll be coming round in 10 minutes!
0:38:34 > 0:38:38- Oh, fuck off!- 10 minutes!
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Where's my shirt?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42Everything is getting...
0:38:42 > 0:38:44You're joking?
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Stressed!
0:38:46 > 0:38:50- I haven't got mine yet. - Are you only having one pair of boots in your locker?
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Are these sleeves done up properly?
0:38:54 > 0:38:56Come on.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Major James Murray will be the highest-ranked officer
0:38:59 > 0:39:02any of the recruits have met in their five weeks at Catterick.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04BOY GRUNTS
0:39:06 > 0:39:11He alone will inspect the recruits to decide whether or not they have made the grade
0:39:11 > 0:39:14and deserve to receive their regimental berets.
0:39:14 > 0:39:18It's about looking at how they maintain their kit and equipment...
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Section! Two Section ready for your inspection, sir.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25..and about ensuring they're maintaining their bodies
0:39:25 > 0:39:27and personal hygiene and things like that.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29- Good morning, guys. - ALL: Morning, sir!
0:39:29 > 0:39:33If they fail to pass his close scrutiny,
0:39:33 > 0:39:37they will be back-squadded and could have to repeat their first five weeks of training.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40The purpose of this morning's inspection really is
0:39:40 > 0:39:43a chance for me to look at how you're living and coping,
0:39:43 > 0:39:46and an opportunity for me to engage with you.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48I don't want you to shout your name and number.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51Clearly articulate who you are
0:39:51 > 0:39:56and which battalion you may wish to join when you finish your training here at ITC Catterick.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Ashley is first under the spotlight.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- Right. Good morning. - Good morning, sir.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06I am 30123761, Rifleman Cavanagh, sir.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09I wish to join Third Battalion of the Rifle, sir.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12- Have you got anyone coming up? - I have, sir.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16- They're looking forward to it? - Yes, sir.- Fantastic. It's going to be a good weekend.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20- Let me see. Am I going to get a shock if I go in here? - I don't think so, sir.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22I'm pretty confident.
0:40:22 > 0:40:23Pretty good.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28Morning, sir. I am 3006678, Rifleman Forti,
0:40:28 > 0:40:30wishing to join the Fourth Battalion of the Rifle, sir.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32- Clearly enjoying yourself. - Yes, sir.
0:40:32 > 0:40:37- Has he always got that big smile on his face, Corporal?- All the time. - Good.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42- What are your plans for the weekend? - Er, spending it with my mates, sir.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45- OK. When you pass. - Hopefully, sir. Yes, sir.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49- Are you confident with your job? - As confident as I can be, sir.- Good.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52- My brother's in the Second Rifles - Is he?- Yes, sir.
0:40:52 > 0:40:57- How long's he been touring? - Er, three years, sir.- OK.
0:40:57 > 0:41:01- Did he do the last tour? - Yes, sir. He was injured, sir.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03OK. I heard about him. That's right.
0:41:03 > 0:41:09You've already demonstrated that you are displaying a degree of confidence.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I want you to continue with that, but at no stage become cocky.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16Be articulate, but don't be arrogant.
0:41:16 > 0:41:20And what I want you do to is start becoming comfortable around rank.
0:41:20 > 0:41:24And in so doing, I'm sure that you will develop as confident young rifleman.
0:41:24 > 0:41:28OK? That was a good effort. A genuinely good effort. Well done to all of you.
0:41:28 > 0:41:33- ALL: Thank you, sir. - Good. Thanks, Corporal.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35- Thank you, guys. - ALL: Thank you, sir.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- Good effort, guys.- Thank you, sir.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45- Smashed that, didn't we? - Well done, guys.- Thank you, sir.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50They'll now receive their regimental berets,
0:41:50 > 0:41:53the first milestone in their army careers.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57They're no longer the new recruits on the base.
0:41:57 > 0:42:03You don't just get given this. It requires five weeks of really hard work.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05I know you've faced a lot of challenges along the way.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09Very richly deserved. Well done. Wear that with pride.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Congratulations. It doesn't come easy, does it?
0:42:12 > 0:42:15They'll be treated with more respect,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18have more freedom around the barracks,
0:42:18 > 0:42:21and start to look like real soldiers.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24- Fantastic. You look like a soldier already.- Thank you, sir.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Good man. Congratulations. Well done.
0:42:27 > 0:42:33As soon as you've got this beret on, you feel like you're starting then, starting the real work.
0:42:33 > 0:42:37Wear it with pride. Well done.
0:42:38 > 0:42:43- Morning, sir.- How are you? - Fine, sir. Good.- Let's get it off.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47'I've never been motivated to do anything with my life
0:42:47 > 0:42:50'before I started to think about joining the army.'
0:42:50 > 0:42:52- Well done.- Thank you, sir.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57I couldn't really be bothered looking for a job
0:42:57 > 0:43:01and I've kind of let my family down, I think,
0:43:01 > 0:43:04in the last few years.
0:43:04 > 0:43:09That's why I want to do this, not just for me, but for them, as well.
0:43:16 > 0:43:21For Ashley's family, it's been a long, hard wait.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24I can't wait to see him. It's been five weeks.
0:43:24 > 0:43:29So it's... It's er... Yes, really looking forward to it.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36Being away from home would've been hard. He likes his home comforts.
0:43:36 > 0:43:41So I think coming home for the next few days is going to even harder,
0:43:41 > 0:43:43because he's got to leave again.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49Come on, then. We need to go.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Donna Payne is picking up her eldest son, Chris,
0:43:56 > 0:43:59to make then long journey north to Catterick.
0:44:00 > 0:44:05For Chris, this will be the first time he's been to Catterick since he was a young recruit.
0:44:06 > 0:44:11It will be weird to see the outlook of the place again.
0:44:11 > 0:44:16Bringing back memories. Good and bad.
0:44:18 > 0:44:22- Five weeks - gone! Can't wait to see my brother. - I can't wait to see mine.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25See what he thinks of the place.
0:44:25 > 0:44:30I'm nervous to go home! It's like GI Joe, staying here all the time.
0:44:30 > 0:44:35But I can't wait to see my parents, definitely.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38Look at him, he's like...!
0:44:38 > 0:44:40I can't wait.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Just on time.
0:44:47 > 0:44:51- Parents' day?- Yes, please. - Follow the track round to the car park on the left.
0:44:59 > 0:45:04- If you'd like to follow the marshals, they'll take you round. - Lovely.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08If you'd like to go with one of the marshals, they'll take you.
0:45:11 > 0:45:16Very excited. It's getting quite emotional now.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25Lee's roommate, Andrew Forti, has a three-year-old son
0:45:25 > 0:45:29and has found not seeing him for five weeks difficult.
0:45:31 > 0:45:36He won't really talk on the phone. He thinks I've just abandoned him.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39Because he's three, he doesn't really understand it.
0:45:39 > 0:45:43He says, "Why does my daddy want to be a soldier and not my daddy?"
0:45:48 > 0:45:50Blown up in Afghan.
0:45:51 > 0:45:54- Trod on a bomb.- Trod on a bomb.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58It's only nine months since it happened.
0:45:58 > 0:46:03His brother's joined, so... all over again!
0:46:03 > 0:46:05Oh, God!
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Now.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13All looking forward to seeing your families?
0:46:13 > 0:46:16ANDREW: I'm looking forward to seeing my little boy.
0:46:19 > 0:46:24This is the weapon that your sons or family members have been using.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27ONE BOY WHOOPS
0:46:32 > 0:46:34Put your hand there.
0:46:34 > 0:46:40OK, let's move on to the next one! Make sure you fetch it back to me.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44- Do you want to have a rocket? - LAUGHTER
0:46:44 > 0:46:47I'm going to march you down to the drill square.
0:46:47 > 0:46:51Your parents are already doing the stands at the moment.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54I'll follow you out and that's your chance to speak to your parents.
0:46:54 > 0:46:59- OK. Stand. Ready!- Up! - Move to your right. Quick, march.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05Left, right, left, right,
0:47:05 > 0:47:07left, right, left, right, left.
0:47:07 > 0:47:13- Don't embarrass yourselves in front of your parents.- Left, right, left.
0:47:17 > 0:47:18Well done.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23Where's Daddy?
0:47:32 > 0:47:36Ready. To your right, fall out.
0:47:41 > 0:47:46- All right?- Hiya.- Are you all right? - Yes, are you?- I'm good.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49- Hi, Mum. Are you all right?- Yes!
0:47:49 > 0:47:51All right?
0:47:52 > 0:47:54- Are you all right, Dad? - All right, mate?
0:47:55 > 0:47:58Hello!
0:47:58 > 0:48:01- Aww!- You've got a soldier?
0:48:01 > 0:48:04Hello, bruv. How you doing?
0:48:04 > 0:48:06I'm good.
0:48:11 > 0:48:15Have you missed Daddy? Yes?
0:48:15 > 0:48:18BACKGROUND CHATTER
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Where's your hair?
0:48:21 > 0:48:23EMOTIVE MUSIC
0:48:53 > 0:48:58Back in Eastbourne, Lee's spending time with his girlfriend, Jo.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04But the prospect of him going to war is one that they can't avoid.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07- It's so scary. But...- It's harder -
0:49:07 > 0:49:10..somebody's got to do it and he's brave for doing it.
0:49:10 > 0:49:16- It's harder because you've seen my brother.- Definitely with his brother and everything that's happened.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20- I try not to think about it, but I do all the time, don't I?- Yes.
0:49:20 > 0:49:25- Constantly.- I always say, "What if something happens to you?" But, no, he'll be fine.
0:49:25 > 0:49:30I just have to try and not think about it too much until it comes to it.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Yes...
0:49:38 > 0:49:44Up in Doncaster, Darren Meads' mum and his friends are throwing him a surprise homecoming party.
0:49:46 > 0:49:50Isn't that ace? Absolutely love it!
0:49:51 > 0:49:55And his oldest mate, Sherry, has also joined the army.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59We've always copied each other and done everything together.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01If he went out with a chick, I went with her sister.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05If we got drunk, we both got drunk and went home together.
0:50:05 > 0:50:10Everything we've done together since we was God knows how young. Four years old?
0:50:11 > 0:50:14Hello, everybody. MAN CHEERS
0:50:16 > 0:50:18- All right? - What have you done to your hair?
0:50:18 > 0:50:23- HE GRUNTS All right, lad?- How you doing, son?
0:50:23 > 0:50:28- Ignore me, then!- Sherry! LAUGHTER
0:50:28 > 0:50:30All right, mate?
0:50:31 > 0:50:36- I didn't think you were back. - I wasn't.- Have you come back for this weekend?- I blagged a day.
0:50:36 > 0:50:41- Fucking nice one.- What have you done to your hair? Get some gel on that! - He's in Germany.
0:50:41 > 0:50:46- Are you supposed to be in Germany? - Yeah.- Good lad. Fucking love it. Well done.
0:50:46 > 0:50:48Are you all right?
0:50:48 > 0:50:54They've been around, his friends, some of them, since he were little.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56They've been around forever.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00They are important to him because that's all he's done for the last few years.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03He's been in the TAs, but he's always been around.
0:51:03 > 0:51:07They are important. More important, I think, than the girls.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10Until he meets, I think, until he meets The One,
0:51:10 > 0:51:13I think it might calm down a little bit.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16But I hope not. Not yet. He's still young.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20He's still got plenty life. There's plenty of time to settle down.
0:51:21 > 0:51:27You've got your army friends, which you eat, sleep, you shit with together,
0:51:27 > 0:51:31that's your mates, they've always got your back and they'll always be there,
0:51:31 > 0:51:34that's one side of your life.
0:51:34 > 0:51:39And then when you come home on your weekends and things like that,
0:51:39 > 0:51:42if you haven't got your civvy mates, you're fucked.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45This is why your civvy mates are important. Very important.
0:51:45 > 0:51:47Obviously, I've always had that.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51The bond that we've got, us lads, is like...
0:51:51 > 0:51:54We'll always be together, no matter what.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01Over in Leeds, being home for the weekend
0:52:01 > 0:52:05has made Ashley question his decision to become a soldier.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11When he returns to Catterick,
0:52:11 > 0:52:16he'll have to decide whether or not he's prepared to commit to the army for the next four years
0:52:16 > 0:52:20and go to war within the next 12 months.
0:52:21 > 0:52:25I'm definitely thinking about it, because, in theory,
0:52:25 > 0:52:27I could be going this year or next year.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Sometime next year, most likely.
0:52:30 > 0:52:34And that's maybe, what, six months away after having this training.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37In theory, my life could probably end in a year's time,
0:52:37 > 0:52:40That's when I'm 20. That's what people need to think about.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43Or I could come home with no legs.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46That's what hits home. Nothing else.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50- Cheers.- Cheers, buddy.- Cheers, Dad. - Cheers, Dave.
0:52:50 > 0:52:54Ashley and his dad are making the most of their weekend together.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01It's not long until the conversation turns to Ashley's dilemma
0:53:01 > 0:53:03of whether or not to stay in the army.
0:53:03 > 0:53:08I'm going to be going to Afghan at least twice with my four years.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12It's good going over there, I get to shoot a turbanator, all fun and well,
0:53:12 > 0:53:17but it's not all fun and well when you step on a landmine and your leg's gone.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21You've been on such a high and then you come home again
0:53:21 > 0:53:24and you've thought about what you want to do.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27And there's only you that can make that decision.
0:53:27 > 0:53:32I think, fortunately, you've got a window to make that decision.
0:53:32 > 0:53:36Nobody's twisting you arm. You can walk away now if you want to.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39- It's not the same.- I understand. - I walk, I lose my pride.
0:53:39 > 0:53:44I'm not suggesting that you do. What I'm saying is, it's entirely up to you.
0:53:44 > 0:53:47I can advise you, as a father,
0:53:47 > 0:53:51but, you know, it's got to be down to you.
0:53:51 > 0:53:56My mind will be elsewhere, obviously, on not trying to get killed.
0:53:56 > 0:54:01I won't have time to think about home until I come back and think, "Jesus, I could die."
0:54:01 > 0:54:05You think it were bad when I left for five weeks? You were crying.
0:54:05 > 0:54:10How do you think it's going to feel when, the day before I go to Afghan, I say, "I'm off to Afghan. Bye"?
0:54:10 > 0:54:14That could be the last time we could see each other.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16That doesn't bear thinking about, does it?
0:54:21 > 0:54:23For me...
0:54:24 > 0:54:28I'd be the happiest man in the world if, you know,
0:54:28 > 0:54:30and not just for Ashley,
0:54:30 > 0:54:32because I don't want to sound selfish,
0:54:32 > 0:54:36but for all the guys, just for them to have a break for a while.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40I just wish that, you know, the Afghan war could just go away.
0:54:41 > 0:54:45I'd be the happiest man in the world because I'd say to Ashley,
0:54:45 > 0:54:48"Go for it, mate. You go all over the world.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51"You enjoy it. You build..."
0:54:51 > 0:54:53Sorry.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59Sorry.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05Because I don't want him to go there.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10I couldn't think of any worse thing
0:55:10 > 0:55:14than, you know, being told that
0:55:14 > 0:55:17your son's been killed, you know, through...
0:55:17 > 0:55:21You know... You know, for what?
0:55:21 > 0:55:26And it just doesn't sit well with me at all, and, you know,
0:55:26 > 0:55:31I think as much as I want to support him...
0:55:32 > 0:55:34erm,
0:55:34 > 0:55:39you know, I don't really want him to go. You know?
0:55:40 > 0:55:46But... I've got to leave that decision up to him.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54- Show me your war face! - THEY ROAR
0:55:59 > 0:56:03I'm actually worried about his,
0:56:03 > 0:56:05well, mental health there.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09Stop being weak!
0:56:09 > 0:56:10I feel like crying.
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Next man in!
0:56:14 > 0:56:17What do you see?!
0:56:17 > 0:56:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:21 > 0:56:25E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk