0:00:02 > 0:00:07THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'What is the first memory you have of wanting to become a soldier?'
0:00:14 > 0:00:17When I was running around Temple Newsam with my friends, with BB guns,
0:00:17 > 0:00:19with trees in my hair.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Diving in and out of bushes.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25I remember I used to, um...
0:00:26 > 0:00:28..run around and, like, build dens,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31climb trees and hide, and things like that.
0:00:31 > 0:00:36And just pretend I was like a little snake going around
0:00:36 > 0:00:37and nobody can hurt me or anything.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I remember doing stuff like that.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43We used to make bases in our bedroom and start shooting.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Chris was always making this stupid gun noise.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Gun noise, yeah! He can still do that noise.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Yeah, we always used to do that.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01This film is the story of three young men
0:01:01 > 0:01:03who followed their childhood dream
0:01:03 > 0:01:05of becoming a soldier in the British Army.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Quick march! - SOLDIERS: Quick march!
0:01:08 > 0:01:13Has it fulfilled the hopes and expectations they had as young boys?
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Did they make it to the front line?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22And if so, did they make it back in one piece?
0:01:29 > 0:01:30- Stand ready! - SOLDIERS: Up!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Show me your war face! - THEY SCREAM
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Stop being weak!
0:01:37 > 0:01:4218 months ago, this series started following a group of new army recruits.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- Next man in!- What do you see?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46From day one, basic training...
0:01:47 > 0:01:50..to front line combat in Afghanistan.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Now, as some prepare to come home,
0:01:56 > 0:02:00the three of them look back on the journey they've made.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04It made me realise - and also appreciate -
0:02:04 > 0:02:06my parents and my family more, and also what I've got.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09My head was quite all over the place then, anyway.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13You just don't think it's going to happen to you.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Catterick, North Yorkshire.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29The Infantry Training Centre.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32And day one of a gruelling six-month basic training course.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37For the new recruits and their families,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40it was the beginning of a new life in the British Army.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Pick your kit up. Follow me.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45The way I thought of it is,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I'm going away for five weeks on holiday. See you all soon!
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Rifleman Howard.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58Your heart drops and you think, "Shit, we're here! This is it!"
0:03:02 > 0:03:06I wasn't excited, or I wasn't nervous or anything.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08I was just keen to get started.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Fellas, get your ties off.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Right, lads, if you've got a shirt on, take it off now.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Next two, let's go.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21The three new recruits were part of a 23-man training platoon.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25And if they graduated as professional soldiers,
0:03:25 > 0:03:29they would be joining one of the army's biggest regiments,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31the Rifles.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Send him in.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Before joining, 19-year-old Ashley Cavanagh was stacking shelves in Asda.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39- Afternoon.- Afternoon.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- So what's your name? - It's Cavanagh, sir.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Cavanagh, right.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Basically, from today,
0:03:45 > 0:03:47you will serve a minimum of four years.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54I joined off my own back, nobody told me to go.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Nobody said, "Oh, you should join the army."
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I joined the army because I looked into it so much.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03And...
0:04:03 > 0:04:05it was totally my decision.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Ashley is the oldest son of Michelle and David Cavanagh.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14But they both shared different views on his plan to become a soldier.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20The instant Ashley mentioned army, David would worry.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22The instant he mentioned army to me,
0:04:22 > 0:04:24"Great, going to have a fantastic life."
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Michelle's father was a soldier,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32and she spent her childhood growing up on army bases around the world.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38I used to remember going up to the barracks with my dad in Paphos, in Cyprus,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40helping him with the mail for the soldiers.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45Life was great. We used to start school early, finish, go down to the beach. We had a great life.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47And me dad's was good, as well as a soldier.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50You could think to yourself, "Well, yeah...
0:04:50 > 0:04:53"Let's not go in, there's Afghanistan,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55"I could get killed, or he could get killed."
0:04:55 > 0:04:57To me, there's always going to be an Afghanistan.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00ALARM CLOCK BEEPING
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Before the new recruits could get stuck into
0:05:07 > 0:05:10the rough and tumble of soldiering,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12they had to get to grips with the basics.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Do not get the blade and go side to side, all right?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Sideboards, not down here, they're in the middle.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Happy with that, lads?
0:05:20 > 0:05:21SOLDIERS: Corporal.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Ensuring that you keep that line,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27use your hand to keep it flush all the way down.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- I'm going to be here all night! - Left turn!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33SOLDIERS: One stop, two stop, three stop, out!
0:05:33 > 0:05:34You got it wrong!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37For your week five inspection by the OC,
0:05:37 > 0:05:41your locker has to look EXACTLY like that,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44and when I say exactly, I mean the finest detail.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46What's that?
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Sorry, sergeant.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- No, I'm asking what it is. - Piece of paper, sergeant.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52You've got empty bottles at the bottom of your locker.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- It's got change...- Get it out!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58It's got 30 bastard odd pence in!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Grip, grip.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03When you've done your laces and that,
0:06:03 > 0:06:06tuck your laces in. Then with your sock, pull it over the top,
0:06:06 > 0:06:11so it hides your lace, so they don't fucking fall out or owt like that. Pull that over the top.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Unlike most of the new recruits at Catterick,
0:06:14 > 0:06:1522-year-old Darren Meads
0:06:15 > 0:06:18had already done a tour of duty in Afghanistan
0:06:18 > 0:06:22when he was a part-time soldier with the Territorial Army.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Darren had said, "Don't tell anybody."
0:06:24 > 0:06:26"Don't tell anybody I've been in the TAs."
0:06:26 > 0:06:28He wanted to start at the bottom,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31with the lads at the bottom, and work his way up.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Cos you're that tired, you just laugh at it, don't you?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37'I didn't want any special treatment.'
0:06:37 > 0:06:40I wanted to be treated the same as everybody else there,
0:06:40 > 0:06:44because I didn't want to isolate myself with that kind of experience.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49But at the same time, I wanted to tell them so I could help them,
0:06:49 > 0:06:52like, through training and things like that.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54But, no. I think it was purely for the fact
0:06:54 > 0:06:56that I didn't want to be treated differently.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01'I wanted to be exactly the same as everybody else and start fresh.'
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Couldn't stop laughing.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14When he were running around in little uniforms,
0:07:14 > 0:07:15when he were about three.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18He's always been a superhero.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21He's going to hate me for this!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Superman cape, Batman cape.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25He's always wanted a uniform.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27He's always wanted to be a superhero.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31We used to make them rather than...
0:07:31 > 0:07:34..rather than buy them, we made them.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Like, Superman capes and things,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40and Mask of Zorro, and cowboys, and stuff like that.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I just loved it. I always wanted to do it.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Ready to march! - SOLDIERS: Ready to march!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Quick march!
0:07:46 > 0:07:47SOLDIERS: Quick march!
0:07:49 > 0:07:52To cut it as an infantry soldier in Afghanistan,
0:07:52 > 0:07:56the recruits had to work on the most important attribute they would need...
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Double march!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00..fitness.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Stop making girly noises!
0:08:04 > 0:08:06And for former hairdresser Lee,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09the new regime took some adjusting to.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Get your kit on! Get it on!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Get a move on! All of your kit!
0:08:13 > 0:08:17You're going to run there, and then you're going to run back.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Last one back goes again.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21And you're sort of looking, thinking,
0:08:21 > 0:08:23"You can't mean over there?"
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Don't piss me about, gentlemen!
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Put it up!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Get on your belt buckles, not crawl!
0:08:33 > 0:08:35He's losing a lot of blood. Let's go!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Don't fucking stop!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39You wouldn't stop on the battlefield!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47We got back, he said, "Right, lads. That's just the beginning.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50"That's nothing compared to what you'll go through."
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Do you remember playing soldiers when you were a kid?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04To be honest, right, it sounds stupid,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07but when I was living with my brother in Tonbridge Road,
0:09:07 > 0:09:10we always used to, like, mess about.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12And I remember when I was little
0:09:12 > 0:09:16that we used to make bases in our bedroom and start shooting,
0:09:16 > 0:09:18and Chris was always making his stupid gun noise!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Gun noise, yeah! He can still do that noise.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Yeah, we always used to do that.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26And nobody thought then, we were only little.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29But, yeah, that's probably...
0:09:29 > 0:09:31back then it was a bit different.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37Nine months before Lee joined the army, his older brother Chris -
0:09:37 > 0:09:39also a serving soldier -
0:09:39 > 0:09:42was blown up whilst on patrol in Afghanistan.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48When an explosion goes off, you feel the, um...
0:09:48 > 0:09:50the force of it first.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52It's like a wave, a shockwave.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54It's like any explosion you have,
0:09:54 > 0:09:58you'll feel the shockwave before you hear it. Phhow!
0:09:58 > 0:09:59And I felt a shockwave,
0:09:59 > 0:10:01and then it went all black in the background,
0:10:01 > 0:10:03like everything else,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06and then I just remember, cos obviously all the dust kicks off.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09You don't know what injuries you've got yet.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12And obviously my right hand...
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I lost three fingers... well, three-and-a-half fingers.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18I've still got my thumb and a bit of my palm.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Lost half the hand,
0:10:20 > 0:10:24and I've got a fixed wrist now, so I can't bend it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28And that's it, really.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29That's all my injuries.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34I was quite lucky, really, compared to some others.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Chris had his accident, and then Lee said, "I want to join the Army."
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Hmm.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45We did tell Chris, or I did!
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Yeah. I remember that, yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49And Chris was like, "No way, no way."
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Chris hit the roof.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52First thing he said to me was...
0:10:54 > 0:10:56"Do you want to... Are you stupid?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- "Look at your brother."- Yeah.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02But at that time, it was all going on,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04so it was hard, really.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14After the first five weeks in the army,
0:11:14 > 0:11:16the recruits faced a pivotal moment.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20They had to pass an exacting inspection by their superior officer.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26- Ten minutes' time. - Ten minutes' time?!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Come on!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30If they fail to pass muster,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33they wouldn't receive their regimental berets,
0:11:33 > 0:11:36or be granted the luxury of a weekend back home.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39If you don't do it properly and you don't pass,
0:11:39 > 0:11:43then you don't wear your beret and everyone else does,
0:11:43 > 0:11:44and no-one wants that.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Stressed!
0:11:48 > 0:11:51They make you worry and panic so you learn it more.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54You're memorising everything,
0:11:54 > 0:11:57making sure everything's perfect, neatly ironed and clean.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00It's really good.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Looking back now, it's really good,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04how they mind-fuck you.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Section! SOLDIERS SHOUT
0:12:07 > 0:12:10All right, sir? Two Section ready for your inspection, sir.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Good morning, guys. SOLDIERS:- Morning, sir.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17I don't want you to scream and shout your name, rank and number.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I just want you to clearly articulate who you are,
0:12:20 > 0:12:22and which Battalion you may wish to join
0:12:22 > 0:12:25when you've finished your training here at ITC Catterick.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Right. Good morning.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Morning, sir. I am 30123761 Rifleman Cavanagh, sir.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36I wish to join Two or Three... 3rd Battalion The Rifles, sir.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- Have you got anyone coming up for Families Day?- I have, sir.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- Are they looking forward to it? - Yes, sir.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Fantastic. Going to be a good weekend.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46What are your plans for the weekend?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Spending it with my mates, sir.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- When you've passed off The Square, yeah?- Hopefully, sir. Yes, sir.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Are you confident with your drill?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Umm...as confident as I can be sir, yes.- Good.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58My brother's in the 2nd Rifles, sir.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Is he?- Yes, sir. - How long's he been serving?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Three years, sir.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Good. Did he do the last tour with 2 Rifles?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Yes, sir. He was injured, sir.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09OK. No, I heard about him. That's right. OK.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13But that was a good effort this morning. So well done to all of you.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- SOLDIERS:- Thank you, sir.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Good. Thanks Corporal Donnelly.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Thank you, guys.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Well done. Cheers.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Good effort guys. Well done. - Thank you, sir.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Once he's gone, you're like,
0:13:23 > 0:13:26"Fuck, that was good! I'm proud of that!"
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Smashed that!- Well done, guys. Very good effort.- Thank you, sir.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43You don't just get given this.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46It requires five weeks of really hard, hard work.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49And I know that you've faced a lot of challenges along the way.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Very, very richly deserved, well done.- Thanks a lot.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Congratulations.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Doesn't come easy, does it?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Fantastic. You look like a soldier already!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Thank you, sir.- Good man.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02All right, congratulations. Well done.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Proud? God, I was well excited!
0:14:04 > 0:14:07You feel like that's the beginning.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09But you know you've got a long way to go.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11But, yeah, it's a good feeling.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Big time good feeling, yeah.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Morning, sir.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- Morning, Cavanagh, how are you? - Well, sir.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Good. Get it off.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21'I was proud.'
0:14:21 > 0:14:23'Yeah, I've achieved something.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26'I've achieved more in them five weeks than I have in my whole life,
0:14:26 > 0:14:29'so, yeah, I was very proud, yeah.'
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I knew that when my mum will see me,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I can iron, I can wash, I can cook, I can clean, you know.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I'm not lazy. I get up this time of the morning.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I could go back and say,
0:14:40 > 0:14:44"You can now be proud of your son", you know,
0:14:44 > 0:14:46that's what I was happy about, yeah.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47It meant a lot to you?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Yeah, yeah, cos I was a twat, so...! Yeah.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- OK, listen. Stand - READY!- Up!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Move to your right. Quick march!
0:15:00 > 0:15:05Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Don't embarrass yourselves in front of your parents, fellas.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Facing right!
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Stand ready!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24To your right, fall...out!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Hi, Mum. You all right?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- Yeah.- All right!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- You all right, Dad, yeah? - All right, mate?- Yeah, yeah.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Hello, Bruv.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Where's your hair?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53For me, it was the fact that he'd got through all that training,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56I couldn't believe he'd stuck to it.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59I really thought there was no way, he'd be back in a week.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01But no, he stuck it out, and for that...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03There's no way I could have done it.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06I don't think David could have done it at his age.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07So for that, he deserved a medal.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11He did. Yeah. David would have been home in a week!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Wouldn't have liked going in all that dirty water, would you?
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Cheers, Ginger Dave.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23During his first weekend off for five weeks,
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Ashley and his dad were making the most of their time together.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34But it wasn't long until the conversation turned to Afghanistan.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I truthfully, genuinely do enjoy it.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41It's great, I really do, I love it. I can't believe I've got my beret.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I didn't think I were going to last five weeks.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Cos it's been so hard, it has.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48You think it were bad when I left for five weeks?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51You were crying, Dad, yeah? How do you think it'll feel,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54the day before I go off, and I say, "Right, I'm off to Afghan, Dad. Bye"?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58That could be the last time we see each other. Know what I mean?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01That doesn't bear thinking about, does it? But...
0:17:01 > 0:17:06The whole thing had been really emotional from start to finish.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09And, and as I said before, I was constantly looking
0:17:09 > 0:17:13on the website with Afghanistan, the news were on 24/7.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17So the whole thing was really playing on my mind.
0:17:19 > 0:17:20Quite upsetting, really,
0:17:20 > 0:17:24because it really kind of hit home on that particular night.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27That's why I got a bit emotional about it.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Sorry.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Because I don't want him to go there.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I can't think of any worse thing
0:17:43 > 0:17:47than, you know, being told that
0:17:47 > 0:17:50your son's been killed, you know, through...
0:17:52 > 0:17:54You know, for what?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02After enjoying their first weekend off,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05it was straight back to work for the new recruits
0:18:05 > 0:18:08as their training became even more intense.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Welcome to bayonet lesson one.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Throughout your time in the infantry,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19it may occur when you're out in Afghanistan,
0:18:19 > 0:18:23you may need to close and engage with the enemy with bayonets fitted.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25It's a psychological thing.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27If the enemy see you running at them with a bayonet
0:18:27 > 0:18:29and know you'll thrust it into their sternum
0:18:29 > 0:18:32they'll be shitting themselves, won't they?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Yes, Corporal!- OK.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Fix bayonets!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Remove scabbards!
0:18:40 > 0:18:41It's time to switch on now.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45It's getting serious now. It's...
0:18:45 > 0:18:47time to become a soldier.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Adopt the high port position! - High port!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54It took you to...to war.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57It took you to Afghanistan, kind of, in a way.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58On guard!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- On guard!- High port!- High port!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03That's a shit one, Cavanagh!
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- Front rank, on guard!- On guard!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Show me some fucking aggression, front rank!
0:19:08 > 0:19:13It just took me to how I thought it was going to be.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16And the adrenaline, obviously with what's going on,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19I did want to just kill that sandbag!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Fucking switch on, Howard!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Are you fucking stupid? - Yes, Corporal!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- You fucking are, aren't you? - Yes, Corporal!
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Take your fucking bayonet! - Taking bayonet, Corporal!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Go round the left-hand side!
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Yes, Corporal!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36I've never been that... sort of aggressive.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39You're not really thinking about anything else
0:19:39 > 0:19:41but doing what you were asked to do.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Imagine these dummies
0:19:42 > 0:19:45are the fucking Taliban that have just killed some of your mates!
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Show me your war face!
0:19:47 > 0:19:49THEY YELL
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Need some fucking more aggression. Show me your war face.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Show me your war face!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55THEY YELL LOUDER
0:19:55 > 0:19:57What do we want to do to the enemy?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Kill!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Right, lads!
0:20:03 > 0:20:07ALL YELLING
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Kill! Kill! Kill!
0:20:27 > 0:20:29OK, hold it there.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Check bayonets! Go!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I think people had just snapped and just thought,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45"I'm not fit enough for this,
0:20:45 > 0:20:48"I'm not mentally strong enough for this."
0:20:48 > 0:20:51And that's when people would start falling back and realised,
0:20:51 > 0:20:53"No, I don't think I can do this."
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Of the 390 British soldiers that have been killed in Afghanistan,
0:21:00 > 0:21:04over 300 of them were trained at Catterick.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08So for all new recruits, an essential part of the training
0:21:08 > 0:21:11was to understand exactly what they were signing up for.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14We've got to be honest about what we do. There is a chance
0:21:14 > 0:21:18that you or I could be killed on operations in Afghanistan.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21If you didn't realise that by now, it's time to realise. OK?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24There's people dying out there.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I think the more in-depth that you get in training,
0:21:27 > 0:21:31the more you hear about it, the more... You know, it's not hidden.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32You need to know about it, or else
0:21:32 > 0:21:36if you go out there, oblivious to what's going to happen...
0:21:36 > 0:21:39so I think it's best to know what's going to happen
0:21:39 > 0:21:40and to prepare yourself.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Be under no illusions what you're committing yourselves to, gentlemen.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47That went on all day from dusk till dawn.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Eight weeks into basic training,
0:21:50 > 0:21:53the pressure began to build for Lee.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57I'd already had someone very close to me,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00and he's not... he's come back not whole.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04So I was the only one there that really knew what he was on about.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14My head was quite all over the place then, anyway
0:22:14 > 0:22:18but at the time I didn't think it was, until I was there, doing it.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21What's your last two of your army number, Howard?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Six-four, Corporal.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27I didn't realise how, really,
0:22:27 > 0:22:31I was still thinking about, sort of, my brother's accident.
0:22:33 > 0:22:38He was ringing me in tears and, you know, just desperate to come home.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41So I was glad he was able to come home.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51Feel like I've failed myself, not anyone else.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54But they didn't have what's going on in your life, Lee.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57They didn't have all of that.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01If you didn't have all of that, then you'd have passed out.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03They didn't have all that.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- No.- So...
0:23:09 > 0:23:12No member of the public could possibly ever think about
0:23:12 > 0:23:15what we all went through with Chrissie.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I mean it was absolutely horrendous,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22so it's not like, "Oh, he just got blown up."
0:23:22 > 0:23:24But we went through absolute hell.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Absolute hell.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40And for former shelf-stacker Ashley,
0:23:40 > 0:23:43the prospect of fighting on the front line
0:23:43 > 0:23:45also proved too much.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51I did not want to leave, I didn't want to leave the army.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55My mind was in the wrong place.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59I probably had a lot of influence,
0:23:59 > 0:24:03in some respects, of him possibly coming out
0:24:03 > 0:24:08because I was constantly talking about Afghanistan all the time.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Probably wrongly, really,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14but that's just how I felt at the time, you know.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27Because of the bond between me and my dad, I listen to him a lot.
0:24:27 > 0:24:33And the influence is so great, with what he says, I do try and listen.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35And I probably listened a bit too much.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I'm not blaming it on him,
0:24:39 > 0:24:44the reason why I left, but it did have a part to play, definitely.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Looking past Afghanistan, but I don't think my dad could.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50It kind of brushed onto me, and that's why I couldn't.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58I knew, as soon as he decided to come out, I knew he'd regret it.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00- And he did, the instant... - Yeah. He did.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03That day, he just absolutely broke his heart crying, the instant.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05I knew it, I knew it'd happen.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I didn't want my son to go off to war and die, I didn't.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10But I knew that
0:25:10 > 0:25:12the army was for him.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Left!- Right!- Left!- Right!- Left!
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Of the 23 recruits who started basic training,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22only ten now remain.
0:25:23 > 0:25:28All committed to serve Queen and country for the next four years.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34And halfway through the course,
0:25:34 > 0:25:37they were given the news they'd all been nervously awaiting.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41They were about to be told which one of the five Rifle battalions
0:25:41 > 0:25:43they were to be assigned to,
0:25:43 > 0:25:47and crucially, when they would be deployed to the front line.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- It's our lives they're playing around with here.- Four years of it.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54It's been so emotional these last two days.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56In you go, guys.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59If they are assigned to 1 Rifles,
0:25:59 > 0:26:03they'd be on a flight to Afghanistan in less than six months' time.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07The moment has arrived, the one you've all been waiting for.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09This list will not change.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Where you're going, you will go, basically,
0:26:12 > 0:26:14and that's the end of the story.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17OK? Cos you all know 1 Rifles are going on tour first,
0:26:17 > 0:26:20so they're the guys who need people.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Right, so here goes.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- Ross, 2 Rifles.- Sir.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Charnley,
0:26:28 > 0:26:302 Rifles.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Meads, 1 Rifles.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39Darren's first call was to his mum
0:26:39 > 0:26:42to tell her when he would be deployed.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- 'Yeah, but when are they going on tour?'- March.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48'So you're going in March.'
0:26:48 > 0:26:52And you do three months' deployment training before.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55So basically, as soon as I pass out of here...
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- 'You're going straight into training.'- Yeah.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00'How do you feel about that?'
0:27:00 > 0:27:04There's fuck all I can do about it though, is there?
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I needed to pick him up.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I needed to get him back up, I needed to get him back on a high
0:27:10 > 0:27:12so that he can focus on what's in front
0:27:12 > 0:27:14rather than thinking about anything else.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19'Is it because, 1 Rifles, I've been reading about it on the internet.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23'It's quite an elite battalion.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25'It's the best of the best, if you like.'
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- She's doing her fucking history now. - 'They've seen something in you.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33'There's only six men out of 1st Rifles been killed through this war.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35'That's quite a low number compared to all the rest.'
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Fucking hell, I didn't even know that!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40'I don't know if they've seen something in you
0:27:40 > 0:27:43'and thought you've got the heart and the balls for it.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47'You're not farting around, messing about. You're getting on with it.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49'I think they've seen that and they think,
0:27:49 > 0:27:52"You're not going to shit around. Let's give you the elite group."
0:27:52 > 0:27:55'It's Number 1, come on.'
0:27:56 > 0:28:00- 'Yeah, love?' - You just think I'm a ninja.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03'You are a ninja! You're a ninja!
0:28:03 > 0:28:04'Come on!
0:28:04 > 0:28:08'You are the ninja, you need to be with the ninja group.'
0:28:08 > 0:28:10All right, I'll give you a ring later on anyway.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- 'All right, darling. I love you.' - Love you too.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16- 'See you later. Bye.'- Bye.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20You just want to give him a hug and say, "Aw, bless you, just leave,"
0:28:20 > 0:28:24but he were signed up for four years. I wouldn't, he couldn't do that.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30When she puts it like that, that I'm a ninja,
0:28:30 > 0:28:34you just think, "Well, I'm going be a ninja!"
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Yeah, I'm happy with that.
0:28:36 > 0:28:41I don't know how she changed my mind, but she did.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44I think, I think she knew, like, if I wasn't happy where I was going,
0:28:44 > 0:28:48it could be dangerous for me going on tour with them.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Because I wouldn't have been... I'm not focused,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53I'm not determined anymore, my motivation's gone.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58And if you're going on tour like that, you're in a world of pain.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10After six months' basic training
0:29:10 > 0:29:13that saw over half his fellow recruits quit,
0:29:13 > 0:29:16Darren Meads was preparing to pass out as an infantry soldier.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Done.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27But back on Civvy Street, four months after he left the army,
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Lee Howard was adjusting to his new life.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34Yep. That's about what we're doing!
0:29:34 > 0:29:36So many people, when I was there,
0:29:36 > 0:29:39said, "Don't leave for these reasons. You're going to regret it."
0:29:39 > 0:29:41And at that time,
0:29:41 > 0:29:44I didn't think I would regret the decision then,
0:29:44 > 0:29:48but I really do regret it, big time, coming out.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I think now it's one of the worst mistakes I've made.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53MARCHING BAND PLAYS
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Tremendous stuff.
0:29:55 > 0:30:00Absolutely inspirational stuff from the young guys going through...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03- DARREN:- It's a really good feeling to know your family's there
0:30:03 > 0:30:06and they can see what you've achieved,
0:30:06 > 0:30:09standing there in your number twos on parade.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16You just feel like you've just become a man.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30MUSIC: "Corner" by Allie Moss
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Hello!
0:30:37 > 0:30:40I was so proud of you.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45Darren was assigned to 1st Battalion, the Rifles.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Based in Chepstow on the Welsh border,
0:30:49 > 0:30:52it will be his home for the next four years.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56# We have choices to make
0:30:59 > 0:31:06# We have promises that we can't break... #
0:31:06 > 0:31:10The Catterick experience, I think he was on quite a high.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12I mean everybody looked up to him.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15The minute he got to Chepstow, I think they thought,
0:31:15 > 0:31:18I think the lads thought, "Oh, no, you don't!
0:31:18 > 0:31:20"Cocky little bugger, no, you don't!"
0:31:31 > 0:31:35Having spent six months surrounded by other new recruits,
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Darren was now lining up
0:31:37 > 0:31:41with veterans of recent combat campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45Fuck me!
0:31:45 > 0:31:49You're fucking tickling them. That's what half of you are doing!
0:31:51 > 0:31:54- How come you haven't shaved this morning?- I have, sir.
0:31:54 > 0:31:55- Really?- Yeah, I did, sir.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58With what? A fucking mess tin?
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Darren was assigned to A Company
0:32:00 > 0:32:02under the command of Major Carl Boswell,
0:32:02 > 0:32:04also known as Chuckles.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06- How are you? - Not bad, thank you, sir.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08- Doncaster.- Yes, sir.
0:32:08 > 0:32:09What's up in Doncaster?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11That's where all my family is, sir.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Whoa!
0:32:14 > 0:32:15Can we get that fixed?
0:32:15 > 0:32:17He had less than five months
0:32:17 > 0:32:22to prepare and mentor his newly graduated soldiers.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23How's your fitness?
0:32:23 > 0:32:26- It's improving.- Improving.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28To get them ready for their first taste of combat.
0:32:28 > 0:32:32I mean, day one, it's a rabbit in the headlights.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34There is a massive training gap
0:32:34 > 0:32:37between him coming out of the Infantry Training Centre
0:32:37 > 0:32:40and then being ready to deploy on operations.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44There were a lot of things that needed to happen
0:32:44 > 0:32:49It's trying to adapt the basic skills we have for fighting any war...
0:32:49 > 0:32:50DETECTOR BLEEPS
0:32:50 > 0:32:56..and making them very specific for the war we were about to embark on.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59What we're going to cover today is the IED threats,
0:32:59 > 0:33:01types of IEDs you're going to face.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04Darren's training was focused on preparing for situations
0:33:04 > 0:33:06he may encounter in Afghanistan.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08MARKET SOUNDS
0:33:08 > 0:33:10EXPLOSION
0:33:15 > 0:33:18He's got gunshot, shrapnel wounds to the chest.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21And he's been hit in the neck.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Yeah, we went on a lot of exercises.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28Personally, looking back, they were all shit, I fucking hated them all.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Cos I fucking hate exercise in the cold. But hey, that's just me.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Urgh!
0:33:33 > 0:33:36He were battered and bruised, his feet were a mess,
0:33:36 > 0:33:40he'd got cuts and bruises, he were walking around like an old man
0:33:40 > 0:33:42and I'm thinking, "What are they doing to you?
0:33:42 > 0:33:45"They can't send you to Afghanistan like this!"
0:33:45 > 0:33:47We nicknamed the whole fucking thing Normandy
0:33:47 > 0:33:50cos it was that bad, it was that bad.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53But, yeah, it was... I look back now and I just think,
0:33:53 > 0:33:55"Fuck, that was good!"
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Company commander Chuckles has a wife and two young children.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07As their deployment date got closer,
0:34:07 > 0:34:09his wife Polly could see first-hand
0:34:09 > 0:34:12how the pressure of leading his young soldiers to war
0:34:12 > 0:34:14bore down heavily upon him.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Good one!
0:34:16 > 0:34:18I can feel his weight of responsibility.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20That's what I get from him.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24It's always about the boys, always about looking after them,
0:34:24 > 0:34:28you know, how good they are, how... he puts so much faith in them.
0:34:33 > 0:34:3611 months after Darren joined the army,
0:34:36 > 0:34:40the day his mum had been dreading finally arrived.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45It's upsetting, I feel really emotional,
0:34:45 > 0:34:47I'm trying to be...
0:34:48 > 0:34:51..calm and...for his sake.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53What do you say?
0:34:53 > 0:34:56What do you say to your mum?
0:34:56 > 0:35:00"I'm going to a war zone. Bye."
0:35:00 > 0:35:02I don't know, there's nothing you can do,
0:35:02 > 0:35:05nothing you can say to family and loved ones
0:35:05 > 0:35:08that'll comfort them or, you know what I mean, help them.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Tour starts now.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Check your kit, check you've got your helmet,
0:35:42 > 0:35:44check you've got all your good stuff.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- Happy days. Everyone understand? - ALL:- Yeah.
0:35:47 > 0:35:52I just remember thinking, "Fuck, I hope I come back here.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54"I fucking hope I come back."
0:35:59 > 0:36:03- Nesbitt.- Sir.- Williams.- Sir.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05- Rifleman Bishop.- Yes, sir.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08- Cornish.- Yes, sir.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10- Meads.- Yes, sir.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16But it were horrible. It... It were horrible.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Do you know, when I took him to nursery,
0:36:18 > 0:36:21he was the one that they used to have to pull him away from me.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24He wouldn't be left, he wouldn't even go to a birthday party
0:36:24 > 0:36:25if I weren't stopping.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29He wouldn't, he wouldn't go, he'd refuse to go to this party.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33And now, all of a sudden, he's as far away as he can possibly be.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57As the soldiers of 1 Rifles headed off to war,
0:36:57 > 0:37:0020-year-old Ashley was working as a service advisor in a car showroom.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08It's the not the job that I don't like, cos the job's good,
0:37:08 > 0:37:11but I just hate being home, I just hate being here,
0:37:11 > 0:37:14and I'm wishing I'd listened to Corporal Stewart,
0:37:14 > 0:37:17because he was so right.
0:37:18 > 0:37:19He said to me before the day I leave,
0:37:19 > 0:37:22"I'm a good judge of character, and I know that,
0:37:22 > 0:37:23"I promise you'll miss it."
0:37:23 > 0:37:26He said, "Cavanagh, I promise you'll miss it."
0:37:26 > 0:37:27And he was so right.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32And I've got to be here every day...
0:37:45 > 0:37:49..instead of doing something that I actually wanted to do with my life.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02I think Ashley realises that, um,
0:38:02 > 0:38:04what kind of life has he got not in the army?
0:38:04 > 0:38:09You know, he could be alive, but what else has he got, really?
0:38:11 > 0:38:15I've come out, and I know that people think I'm a loser,
0:38:15 > 0:38:19and I just went because... I left because I was scared,
0:38:19 > 0:38:23because I couldn't hack it, all the criticism that's come.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29But it's bollocks, you know. I left on a flim, I was scared,
0:38:29 > 0:38:33but I can guarantee everybody else will have been.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35But, you know...
0:38:54 > 0:38:58The men of A Company were to operate in the district of Nar-e-Saraj,
0:38:58 > 0:39:01one of the most dangerous places in Afghanistan.
0:39:07 > 0:39:12Stationed at Patrol Base Four and its three surrounding checkpoints.
0:39:12 > 0:39:13For seven months, twice a day,
0:39:13 > 0:39:16the soldiers of A Company went out on foot patrol
0:39:16 > 0:39:21to try and drive the Taliban away from the local communities.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25And by far the biggest threat they faced on the ground
0:39:25 > 0:39:29was the improvised explosive device, or IED.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35He's found something.
0:39:35 > 0:39:36Fire in the hole!
0:39:41 > 0:39:44It wasn't long into the tour until Darren started playing
0:39:44 > 0:39:47a vital role in every patrol he went on...
0:39:47 > 0:39:48..the point man.
0:39:50 > 0:39:57Point man is basically, you are the lead man of the whole multiple.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00So wherever you go, they're going to go.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04So you need to pick a route.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06A safe route.
0:40:06 > 0:40:11You need to find IEDs on the ground and hopefully, you know what I mean,
0:40:11 > 0:40:14stop them from going off, catch them before you do stand on them.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25HE IMITATES GUNFIRE
0:40:25 > 0:40:30Darren had a natural ability to detect suspicious disturbances out on patrol,
0:40:30 > 0:40:34ground signs that could potentially be IEDs.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38I was originally at the back, the very back, last man.
0:40:40 > 0:40:46And I remember I went out on a few patrols, and Gary, Corporal Craig,
0:40:46 > 0:40:51like, I'd pointed out a few ground signs to him that had been missed,
0:40:51 > 0:40:54and he, like, realised, you know what I mean?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56"He's spotting better ground signs,
0:40:56 > 0:40:59"so we'll put him at the front and see what he's like."
0:40:59 > 0:41:00And that's how it come about,
0:41:00 > 0:41:02and I'm just really good at it.
0:41:02 > 0:41:05I tell you what, I bet you he volunteered for that job,
0:41:05 > 0:41:07I bet you any money he volunteered.
0:41:07 > 0:41:12He won't trust anybody else to do that. Crackers, my lad.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Absolutely crazy. What's he like?
0:41:17 > 0:41:18DETECTOR BEEPS
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:41:20 > 0:41:22What's the problem?
0:41:22 > 0:41:24See the rocks by the tree there?
0:41:24 > 0:41:27Just going to have a quick look at this here.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30You can just tell if something's there or not.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33I don't know what it is, but you just, you just know,
0:41:33 > 0:41:37you just think, "I think there's something there." So you check it.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42You just become gentle. You become the softest soldier ever.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47And you're just slowly clearing it, you're slowly clearing it.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Cos anything could set it off.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58All clear.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Every point man, I salute all of them.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06They're exceptionally brave, more brave than I ever am.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Yeah, I've got eyes on Meads now.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14'It's amazing how many of them just grow into this role,
0:42:14 > 0:42:17'and they take it as their sole responsibility in life -
0:42:17 > 0:42:20'to keep their mates safe on a daily basis.'
0:42:22 > 0:42:25Yeah, Rifleman Meads has done that role really, really well this tour.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29As well as patrolling the local areas,
0:42:29 > 0:42:33the soldiers would also find themselves face-to-face with the Taliban
0:42:33 > 0:42:35and engaged in firefights.
0:42:35 > 0:42:39Think light feet. Light feet, all right?
0:42:56 > 0:42:59GUNSHOTS
0:42:59 > 0:43:03250 metres, down to the corner!
0:43:03 > 0:43:05GUNFIRE CONTINUES
0:43:05 > 0:43:07- Confirm three-three!- Three-three.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09When you're in contact,
0:43:09 > 0:43:13you're hit immediately by this sort of buzz of adrenaline,
0:43:13 > 0:43:14this huge surge of adrenaline.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17GUNFIRE CONTINUES
0:43:19 > 0:43:21You are hit by fear. There is very real fear,
0:43:21 > 0:43:25especially when you hear that round coming past your head,
0:43:25 > 0:43:27and you realise, "That was aimed at me."
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Down. Down.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35That way!
0:43:35 > 0:43:37We've got to start peeling north.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40We're going to get fucking wrapped up here, let's go north.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43Unit, go, go, go, go!
0:43:43 > 0:43:47You need a stack-load of physical courage out there.
0:43:47 > 0:43:5118, 19-year-olds who are actually being shot at, sometimes daily,
0:43:51 > 0:43:55not knowing when they lose a mate who's been hit by an IED,
0:43:55 > 0:43:58or they're in contact, they've been shot,
0:43:58 > 0:44:00so there's a very real physical courage,
0:44:00 > 0:44:02and you don't know if you've got that
0:44:02 > 0:44:05until you're actually standing on that wall being shot at.
0:44:07 > 0:44:11'Initially, like, when the rounds are coming in,'
0:44:11 > 0:44:12yeah, you get a bit scared.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15But straightaway... That's like a split second,
0:44:15 > 0:44:17then straightaway, you're in it.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20You're straight on it. All our blokes are.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26It's a good experience.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Definitely one that none of us would forget, anyway.
0:44:43 > 0:44:47Fighting in such a dangerous part of Afghanistan
0:44:47 > 0:44:51meant that A Company paid a heavy price.
0:44:54 > 0:44:59They took over 30 casualties and two fatalities.
0:45:02 > 0:45:06There were some tough moments, absolutely. And you look back
0:45:06 > 0:45:11and the tough moments are sort of small moments in time you can box up
0:45:11 > 0:45:13and put in the back of your head,
0:45:13 > 0:45:17and they'll come out one day when you're ready for them to come out.
0:45:19 > 0:45:21I bottle it up.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25And I choose to ignore it and I choose to get on with my job.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31I put on a brave face, as they say. That's how I deal with it.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43Back in the UK, families would worry
0:45:43 > 0:45:46if they didn't regularly hear from their loved ones.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53You don't sleep properly when they're over there.
0:45:53 > 0:45:58You can't sleep, not properly. I'm always carrying my phone around,
0:45:58 > 0:46:00I've always got my phone in my hand, even at work.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03If anybody sees me walking round the offices,
0:46:03 > 0:46:05I've got my mobile in my hand.
0:46:05 > 0:46:10If something happens over there, they put the minimisers on,
0:46:10 > 0:46:14so there's no contact whatsoever from them to us.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17It's like if he's at the PB, he's constantly on Facebook.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20Then all of a sudden, you don't hear from him.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23You think, "Minimisers are on. Oh, my God, what's happened?"
0:46:23 > 0:46:27That's scary. Cos you know somebody somewhere is getting some bad news.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34British soldier from the Engineers killed.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38And it's just such a tiny little strap at the bottom -
0:46:38 > 0:46:41when to us it's so important. So, you know...
0:46:41 > 0:46:44But that's, I suppose, anything, isn't it?
0:46:44 > 0:46:47They'll cut to the weather any minute!
0:46:47 > 0:46:50It's up there, with that important...
0:46:50 > 0:46:53It became more worrying, you know. It just got more worrying.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57And the more causalities, and then we had some fatalities,
0:46:57 > 0:47:01and that's when you... I think you do really start thinking.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04But then you push it to the back of your mind again, and you plough on,
0:47:04 > 0:47:07but you're always getting texts from someone saying,
0:47:07 > 0:47:11"Oh, I haven't heard anything on any of the websites for 24 hours, is there minimise?"
0:47:11 > 0:47:15And then suddenly it all comes back to the front of you again, and you're thinking,
0:47:15 > 0:47:19"OK, I mustn't think about this." I think that kind of comes in waves.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Two patrols a day,
0:47:27 > 0:47:30seven days a week,
0:47:30 > 0:47:34carrying over 100 kilos of equipment in 50-degree heat.
0:47:38 > 0:47:43The harsh conditions of living in a war zone were starting to take their toll.
0:47:45 > 0:47:50'If you had a camera, you would only film fighting.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52'You would only film bombs.'
0:47:52 > 0:47:57Cos that's... All you'd take photos of is helicopters, bombs going off,
0:47:57 > 0:47:59contacts, and things like that.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01So that's all they're going to see back home.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05Or, like, the casualties, things like that, that's all they'll see.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08They don't see how we're living and how...
0:48:08 > 0:48:11what we go through from day to day,
0:48:11 > 0:48:13such as cleaning your own clothes.
0:48:16 > 0:48:20And just the basic living conditions, you know,
0:48:20 > 0:48:22in a small mud hut room.
0:48:22 > 0:48:27To be quite honest with you, at the minute, I couldn't give a flying fuck about the country.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30I'm just doing my job, doing what I'm told.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33And then just go home. That's it.
0:48:39 > 0:48:40For the rest of the tour,
0:48:40 > 0:48:43Chuckles led his young soldiers from the front.
0:48:43 > 0:48:48Can you get eyes on the wagon, east to west, from three-eight?
0:48:49 > 0:48:51And Darren acted as point man.
0:49:05 > 0:49:09Now, after seven months, and over 400 patrols,
0:49:09 > 0:49:12the tour is finally over.
0:49:30 > 0:49:3518 months ago, Darren was a new recruit.
0:49:37 > 0:49:41Now he returns home a veteran of the war in Afghanistan.
0:49:41 > 0:49:42Next, please.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46'It's been non-stop, really.
0:49:46 > 0:49:51'From training to training, to Afghan, and then finally going home.'
0:49:51 > 0:49:52Next, please.
0:50:13 > 0:50:16They're coming home! They're coming home.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31You start picturing in your head how that moment is going to go.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33You play it out in your head,
0:50:33 > 0:50:36constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41EXCITED CHATTER
0:50:54 > 0:50:56Oh, God!
0:51:05 > 0:51:08Oh, my God.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12ALL CHEER
0:51:49 > 0:51:54Just seeing Polly and seeing Hector and Nancy is really emotional.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57Very emotional.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00I'll start getting emotional now, you know!
0:52:01 > 0:52:06There he is! Look! There he is!
0:52:06 > 0:52:07- Can you see him? - BOTH: JD!
0:52:07 > 0:52:09I can't see him.
0:52:12 > 0:52:15There he is, there he is. Look. There he is.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18SHE SCREAMS
0:52:22 > 0:52:26SHE SOBS
0:52:28 > 0:52:31Dry your eyes, dry your eyes.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- Dry your eyes, Mum! - So good to have you back.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39Oh, it was such a good feeling.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44It's horrible being away for so long.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55'They've lost quite a few.'
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Five lads this tour.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00That's five families.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Five mums.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:53:31 > 0:53:34After completing their tour, the battalion are given a hero's welcome
0:53:34 > 0:53:37through their local town of Chepstow.
0:53:41 > 0:53:43Whilst you're there in Afghan,
0:53:43 > 0:53:47you don't think anybody back home gives a flying fuck about you.
0:53:47 > 0:53:51It's nice to know that other people are thinking about you and supporting you,
0:53:51 > 0:53:53rather than just your loved ones.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59Whilst Darren is pleased to back alive,
0:53:59 > 0:54:03Ashley and Lee, who joined up with him but quit in training,
0:54:03 > 0:54:06are still on Civvy Street.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09They're both planning to rejoin the army.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12I've been spending a lot of time with my brother since.
0:54:12 > 0:54:16And I feel like now I've accepted it,
0:54:16 > 0:54:19I feel all right about it now. I've spoken to him about it,
0:54:19 > 0:54:21and my mind's in the right place now,
0:54:21 > 0:54:25where I just need to get back and do it. Do it properly this time.
0:54:26 > 0:54:30I know I left, but, you know, I do regret that.
0:54:32 > 0:54:36But I really want to go to Afghanistan.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40If I could go tomorrow, I would go. I would, I would go. Yeah.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42With all my heart, I would go there
0:54:42 > 0:54:45and I would prove myself that I can do it.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48And the fact that I was just... It wasn't my time,
0:54:48 > 0:54:51not that I was worried or scared, it was just not my time.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53So that's why I do want to go back. I want to go.
0:54:53 > 0:54:57Before I die, I'm going to go to Afghanistan - if we're still there.
0:55:05 > 0:55:09You do not go to do the Queen's duty without risk.
0:55:12 > 0:55:16There have been 81 battle injuries during the tour.
0:55:16 > 0:55:21And of these, ten are what we describe as life-changing.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26In the battle group,
0:55:26 > 0:55:30ten of our people have been killed in action.
0:55:30 > 0:55:35Five of them are from 1 Rifles.
0:55:41 > 0:55:45They've gone, we've lost good men.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47And, you know, I think about them all the time.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51I think about the times that... Do you know what I mean? ..I had with them.
0:55:51 > 0:55:55Like, all the training before we were leaving, and things like that.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57But that's all you can do -
0:55:57 > 0:56:00just think about the times that you had together.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03The good times, rather than the bad.
0:56:03 > 0:56:08It just helps you get on with it and accept the fact that they've gone.
0:56:55 > 0:56:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:59 > 0:57:02E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk