0:00:02 > 0:00:06There's a lot of high expectation for somebody who's got autism
0:00:06 > 0:00:09to actually conform to society's rules.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13What's it like to grow up in a world that views you differently?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16How do you really become an adult
0:00:16 > 0:00:19when everyone treats you like a child?
0:00:19 > 0:00:22People like me don't understand what's real and what's not real.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25But I still see him as a little four-year-old.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I don't think and operate like everyone else.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30I just go with the flow.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34I follow the lives of three autistic young men
0:00:34 > 0:00:38as they negotiate the everyday struggles of growing up.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I can see you.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Looking for love...
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm the beholder.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47..desperate for work...
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Give me that job.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50..and longing for independence.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Get that out of my face, then!
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Is it...
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Is it cos I'm autistic?
0:00:58 > 0:01:02This programme contains some strong language.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05This is Tom.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08He's 15.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12He lives in Kent with his mum,
0:01:12 > 0:01:18dad, four brothers, a sister, a dog and two cats.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22In many ways, Tom is like any other teenager.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Tom, are you having a shower this morning?
0:01:26 > 0:01:32In the mornings, it's terrible. You wake up to...it's like a war zone.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Hurry up. Don't leave it too long.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40But there's one thing that makes Tom different.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Do you exactly know what autism is?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Um, yeah, sort of.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49It's like, um...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I can't do certain things,
0:01:51 > 0:01:55um, and that I'm different to other people.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58And...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01like, there's parts of your brain that,
0:02:01 > 0:02:03um, can't work or something.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07He's got a problem with his brain and it's trouble for him to learn stuff
0:02:07 > 0:02:09and he doesn't learn stuff as quick as us.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12When I'm with other people, I just can't laugh
0:02:12 > 0:02:14for some reason or, like, shout.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- But does that bother you?- Sometimes.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Autism is a developmental condition which affects
0:02:25 > 0:02:271 in every 100 people born.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36People with autism view the world as a strange and often confusing place.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40They have trouble communicating and interacting
0:02:40 > 0:02:42in the same way as everyone else.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46I would like to be a little more confident around people
0:02:46 > 0:02:47and things like that.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Thomas isn't like other teenagers because of his level of maturity.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I have tried to do something to make her, um...
0:02:55 > 0:02:59just to make her see that I've grown up a bit and stuff,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02but she just never will trust me.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05That's one of the reasons I don't let him go out with other people,
0:03:05 > 0:03:07because I feel he'd be taken advantage of.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12Tom attended a mainstream school up until the age of 14.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17He was then placed in a specialist school 15 miles away.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I've changed quite a bit,
0:03:19 > 0:03:23um, since I moved school last year.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25All the people from my old school
0:03:25 > 0:03:27don't like me very much for some reason,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I'm not a very popular person.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Do you like it at your new school better?
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Yeah, a bit, cos people, um, aren't calling you tramp
0:03:37 > 0:03:39and stuff like that
0:03:39 > 0:03:44and, um, just going to try and trip you up and stuff.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Those people bullied you?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49That must have been horrible.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55He wants to be like all the other kids out there,
0:03:55 > 0:03:56doing what they're doing.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01He wants a girlfriend and he wants a group of friends around him
0:04:01 > 0:04:03and he wants the independence as well.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07It's a real shame because he's being denied a life that he wants.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17Tom's older brother James is throwing a party in the back garden
0:04:17 > 0:04:20to celebrate his 19th birthday.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25Tom's autism can make social situations daunting.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26I'm a bit nervous that,
0:04:26 > 0:04:32um, my brother might smoke up a load of stuff
0:04:32 > 0:04:33and make people laugh at me.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37I just want them to think I was just normal,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40be the same as everyone else, like, join in and,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43like, just have friends and stuff.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49When I'm in the car and I can see a group of people playing football
0:04:49 > 0:04:51and all on bikes and just having fun together,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54and I've never actually done that with people.
0:04:59 > 0:05:05I like to drink. When I'm drunk, I feel confident and not so shy.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Have you chatted to any girls yet?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25No, not really.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I always knew Tom at school. Tom was well shy at school.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40I never, ever heard Tom speak at all in school, ever.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43You know, the whole four years that I knew him
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and I never heard you talk at all.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Good to hear him talk finally after four years. How d'you find school?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Well, yeah, it's a bit better.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- He's a good lad at the end of the day, even if he didn't talk. - You look exactly like James.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00It's amazing. Yeah, you can tell they're brothers.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Come on then, let's dance.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19We're going to dance.
0:06:52 > 0:06:58'Autism has a wide spectrum and individuals can often show
0:06:58 > 0:07:02'a keen interest or high level of ability in other areas of their lives.
0:07:02 > 0:07:08'For 23-year-old Oli, it's drums and history.'
0:07:08 > 0:07:12So Henry V, when was he born?
0:07:12 > 0:07:18He was born in 1389, England, son of Henry Bolingbroke,
0:07:18 > 0:07:19who was Henry IV,
0:07:19 > 0:07:24who usurped the throne from Richard II.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Oli has high functioning autism.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29People like him can show an impressive knowledge in their
0:07:29 > 0:07:34favourite subjects, masking the true depth of their disability.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38I see myself as a bit of a wolf for some reason.
0:07:39 > 0:07:45Wolves - I find wolves a very masculine animal and,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47being what I am...
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Regardless of his abilities and knowledge,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Oli has spent the last four years trying to get his first paid job.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58As soon as I left school I was very belligerent, almost,
0:07:58 > 0:08:03about actually getting a job, any job at all.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08I was very eager to, um, have routine.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11We know that Oliver and other young people like him
0:08:11 > 0:08:14absolutely need routine
0:08:14 > 0:08:15and they need structure.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20My criminal mug shot. Have you seen this man?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Finally, last year, aged 22,
0:08:22 > 0:08:27Oli found temporary work with help from the National Autistic Society.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30We're going to cross over.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33He has a temporary contract stamping books at the British Library.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Bye.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41STATION PA: King's Cross.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46Right, you'll find it's a bit ruck and tuck getting on.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50But this commute will be one of Oli's last,
0:08:50 > 0:08:54as his temporary contract is up at the end of the week.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57After that, he's out of work.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00This is actually officially my last week.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Things that I will miss is the camaraderie of the workforce.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08I'll miss the companionship of some of the guys there.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Cos I'm quite out loud sort of person in the office,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15to me it's a matter of pride.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18I style my attitude almost like the samurai.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Like Oli, many people with autism lead their lives
0:09:23 > 0:09:26around routine and repetition,
0:09:26 > 0:09:30without which life can seem chaotic.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35To Oli, this job was more than just a place to work.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37This is where I work.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41I work in this side of the British Library, but I go in Gate 8.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I'm now about to get my work pass out.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Are you sad?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Yeah.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53So what does the future hold?
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Perfect world, me in a permanent job,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59earning a reasonable wage.
0:09:59 > 0:10:05My ideal world, but reality might say otherwise, so,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08as is often the way, you dream of something that will never quite work out.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- Mum.- What?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Mum, he's attacking Josh.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Who is? What's the matter with you?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32He threw a pillow at my face when I was watching telly.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- I dropped it into your face, yeah? - Retard.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43I sometimes sit in that little hut thing when I'm angry or something.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48- What makes you angry? - Um, when me and my dad fight and stuff like that.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52He's angry with near enough everything and everyone.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Why do you fight, do you think?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Um, cos my dad's an idiot.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Since puberty, he's become much more aggressive, much more violent,
0:11:09 > 0:11:12he doesn't seem to care now who he upsets
0:11:12 > 0:11:15or what he says would upset people.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19He seems to have lost all his compassion for other people.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It's quite weird the way he's changed in the last few years,
0:11:22 > 0:11:24cos he used to be a really quiet little kid at home
0:11:24 > 0:11:27and he used to be quite smiley all of the time and then,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30as he got to about secondary school age,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34he totally changed and just became like a moody teenager really,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37but a bit more extreme than that.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39My mum treats me like a kid
0:11:39 > 0:11:42and my dad just acts the same to everyone.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43He's hit me before now.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47He's hit my mum a few times and he's threatened my dad with a knife
0:11:47 > 0:11:48quite a few times as well.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52The time he pulled the knife out in the kitchen on my dad,
0:11:52 > 0:11:53they called the police.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55When he pulled the knife out on me,
0:11:55 > 0:11:59that was the worst that time, cos he lunged forward as well.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I wouldn't actually use it, though.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I was just trying to scare him off.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Even the dog's learned to stay away from Tom.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09When Tom's around, the dog will just go in the other room.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19I kicked a hole here.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Do you remember why?
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Cos mum upset me with something and I just kicked a hole in there.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Why did she...?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Tom, you was the one who broke that hole.
0:12:34 > 0:12:40'In the last year, Tom has run away three times.'
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Where did you run to last time?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44My nan's caravan.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49He absconded from home and he disappeared all day,
0:12:49 > 0:12:53all through the night, and we had police search out for him.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56There was over 100 police and there was,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59like, the whole front of our garden was full up with police cars
0:12:59 > 0:13:01and all up the road.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03They was all like, "Oh, there you are,"
0:13:03 > 0:13:06and then they all just walked off. It was stupid.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09He's had this teddy since he was about two.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14And although it's sort of banished to the back of the cupboard, I've noticed it's still there.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18A Led Zeppelin album, Slipknot and The Ultimate Metal,
0:13:18 > 0:13:21The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Sooty Show.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29It is strange. It's like this is who he is, this is what he enjoys,
0:13:29 > 0:13:31this is what he understands,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35but all these other things are what boys his age are usually looking at.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38He wants to watch them because this is what boys his age do,
0:13:38 > 0:13:44but he gets far more enjoyment out of watching Sooty.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Mum always treats me like a baby, but when I, like,
0:13:51 > 0:13:54do serious things like have fights with my dad,
0:13:54 > 0:13:59that's when my mum starts talking to me like an older person.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Like, she goes...
0:14:00 > 0:14:05Well, she says, like, complicated words and stuff like that.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Yeah, I would like to live alone.
0:14:07 > 0:14:13- Do you know why?- Not any arguments and fighting and stuff like that.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17What do you like about being on your own when you're here?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Um, well, I can just be myself.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Are you not yourself in front of anyone else?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Um, not completely.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I can be a little bit weird.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I've been known to talk to myself or something like that.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Or, like, there's something in my head
0:14:39 > 0:14:43and, like, I'm looking at that and it says it's wrong or something,
0:14:43 > 0:14:49and I end up saying it to myself without realising.
0:14:49 > 0:14:54I get a bit upset that my friends don't sometimes think
0:14:54 > 0:14:55the same way as me.
0:14:55 > 0:15:00I would like to be, like, famous and see myself on telly,
0:15:00 > 0:15:04like, playing my guitar, or singing or something.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06What would you like about being famous?
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Just to be popular, cos I'm not like a very popular person.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Who's that from?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33"This is my address.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37"Dear Tom, you make me feel special every single day.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39"When I talk to you, my worries fade away.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44"From your Honey Bunny." Hmm.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47And her address - that's a bit worrying - Peterborough.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50I'm going to take that for safekeeping,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53just in case he decides to jump on a train and head up that way.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Will you actually take that from his room?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I'd rather he didn't have it,
0:15:57 > 0:16:02because if he gets the hump one day and decides he's going to find out
0:16:02 > 0:16:03how to get to this address, he'll do it,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06and I'd rather take that risk away.
0:16:12 > 0:16:17Autism can make forming relationships extremely difficult.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Alex is 24 and looking for love.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Thank you.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26I would treat a woman romantically and with respect.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Say she's beautiful, also kiss her hand occasionally.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Do you think you'd be a good boyfriend?- Yes.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Around half of adults with autism still live with their parents.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Alex lives at home with his mum, Peggy,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48and has a type of autism called Asperger's syndrome.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52It would be nice if you met a girl who was part of a family,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55just looking for a nice guy, who's honest
0:16:55 > 0:16:58and doesn't like to go drinking too much
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- and doing other dodgy things and... - Mmm.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Whilst people like Alex can have above average intelligence,
0:17:06 > 0:17:10they can find relationships and communicating complicated.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16I hope that it would be somebody like you.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20There's very good things about Asperger's
0:17:20 > 0:17:22that are good things to have in a boyfriend.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26You'll be on time and you'll be...
0:17:26 > 0:17:31- Honest.- You're honest and you won't mess them about and...
0:17:31 > 0:17:35They'd have to understand that you like things a certain way sometimes
0:17:35 > 0:17:37and can't explain why you don't.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40And you don't really want to have someone who's...
0:17:40 > 0:17:42- Smokes or drinks too much.- Yeah...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Takes drugs.- Heavy drinker, yeah.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46I just go with the flow.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Do you not think that you might be taken advantage of?
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Yeah, but I'll go with the flow. If they're taking advantage, I'll stop.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56You don't have to have a girlfriend.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- That's the other thing you need to know.- I'm not having a boyfriend! - That's not what I mean!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Alex has put his efforts into finding love online.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26I'm on most of them.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31Last time I paid is on Match.com for £22.80 for one month.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35And so how many people have contacted you on this?
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Oh, replying to me, I think, nothing. Nothing much.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42So you're doing all the pursuing?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Yes.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49And what's your criteria in a woman?
0:18:49 > 0:18:525'6" to 6'5".
0:18:52 > 0:18:56Would 6'5" be a bit tall?
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Well, roughly my height, to be honest. I am not sure.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06I don't mind what colour eyes or what colour hair.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Any ethnics, any faith,
0:19:09 > 0:19:13any education, any language,
0:19:13 > 0:19:17any profession, any amount of money, no way on the smoking.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21- What if you met a really nice girl but she smoked?- I wouldn't mind.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23I'm not picky, as I say.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What comes with a girlfriend that you're looking for?
0:19:25 > 0:19:30Someone to look after me and I'll look after her in return.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33What other things would you like to do with a girlfriend?
0:19:33 > 0:19:34To have a family.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37To go out and do stuff with.
0:19:37 > 0:19:43Like bowling, and meet their mates and vice versa.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45I'm a man and a man needs a woman!
0:19:52 > 0:19:57Tom has also been talking online, and despite the uneasy atmosphere
0:19:57 > 0:20:02in the house, Tom's told his mum he wants his girlfriend to visit.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Tom? Who is this girl that's coming?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10What's her name? When's she supposed to be coming?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I kept asking you every week and you kept saying no.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Well, that's right. - It's in three weeks.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- In three weeks?- Yeah.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Don't you think her mum and dad ought to phone me, please?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Mummy, fix the coat.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Is that OK?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Well, can you give her my number so she can phone me?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Cos I don't know if her parents can come.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34There's loads of step-parents there.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36What do you mean, loads of step-parents?
0:20:36 > 0:20:40She's got her mum and her mum's boyfriend, who she hates,
0:20:40 > 0:20:43and her dad, who lives in Scotland.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47So, who is there to say she can come or she can't?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50She said her dad would drop her here.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53What, from Scotland? And he's going to go all the way to Peterborough
0:20:53 > 0:20:55to bring her all the way here?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- Well, could you get him to phone me to let me know that?- Mm-hm.
0:20:58 > 0:21:03Surely her dad would not want her to just be dropped off
0:21:03 > 0:21:05at some stranger's house.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Yeah, her dad has another family, though.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10It doesn't matter how many families you've got.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Surely he's got some common sense.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Will you let her stay, Lisa?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Well, I don't know, really.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18I don't know anything about her.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I don't know how old she is, if she's got her parents' permission,
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I don't know anything at all.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26I don't know, really.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28No, probably not.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33Can I have that, Tom, cos I don't want it broken for tomorrow.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41'It's Oli's first day of unemployment.'
0:21:43 > 0:21:45So how are you feeling today, when you sort of woke up?
0:21:45 > 0:21:50Well, when I woke up, I think to myself, "My God, it's all over,
0:21:50 > 0:21:54"back where I am now, boring, numb."
0:21:54 > 0:21:58When you read things like, "Dear Oliver, what can one say?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00"It's been a joy knowing you
0:22:00 > 0:22:04"and working with you and you will be really missed in the office.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09"You're a special person and special people reap good things in life.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12"You are so funny and bubbly.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14"I hope you'll always stay like that.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16"I wish you all the best in your future."
0:22:16 > 0:22:20It's really hard to close that chapter,
0:22:20 > 0:22:24wondering whether it can ever be found again.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Once I came home I realised that
0:22:30 > 0:22:37I was probably never going to get that opportunity again in some ways,
0:22:37 > 0:22:42cos I'm now faced with the great curse of a blank canvas.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43There you go.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- Back to where I was before I even got the job.- Yes.- Again.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51I've got the folder of all the jobs that you've applied for.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53There's this whole list of them.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56He's got another form that he brought home yesterday.
0:22:56 > 0:23:01Me and 4½ million people are saying and doing the same.
0:23:01 > 0:23:07Murders, murders, murders. All they've got to say is about murders.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Cleaning? No.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Don't you fancy cleaning?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13No, it's not a man's thing.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17What else will you do today?
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Well...
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I'm unemployed, so what can you expect?
0:23:24 > 0:23:29I'm just waking up to the fact that,
0:23:29 > 0:23:32no job, no routine.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44But I'm in no rush.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Tom has told his mum he's expecting a visitor.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09He's invited the girl he met on the internet over for the day.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11My girlfriend's coming over.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15She's just left now and her dad's bringing her here.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17What was your mum's reaction?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20She went a little crazy and then, like, she changed her mind
0:24:20 > 0:24:21and then she says, "That's OK, "
0:24:21 > 0:24:23and then she goes crazy again.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26And she goes, "You don't know who she is.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28"She could be a paedophile," and stuff like that.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's just so stupid.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33So are you excited?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Mm-hm.- How does it feel?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Well, a little bit weird cos part of me thinks
0:24:39 > 0:24:44that she's going to be here any second and part of me thinks that
0:24:44 > 0:24:47she's not going to be here and stuff like that. It's a bit weird.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Despite her worries,
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Tom's mum Lisa has reluctantly allowed her to visit.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I haven't met her,
0:24:54 > 0:25:01but apparently she's coming to see him from, where is it, Peterborough?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- Mm-hm.- So, um...
0:25:06 > 0:25:10..it remains to be seen as to how we're going to manage today.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Have you heard from her?
0:25:12 > 0:25:16- Mm-hm.- Is she on her way?- Mm-hm.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Tom, how long did she say it's going to take to get here?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21She said four hours.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Four hours?!
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I know.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- I hope she doesn't think she's staying overnight.- She's not.
0:25:29 > 0:25:37I think he's so restricted, he's so fed up being indoors, being at home,
0:25:37 > 0:25:42being kept as a child, that he's really fighting for this,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44he's really fighting for an adult life.
0:25:44 > 0:25:50And as much as I've tried to stop him doing too much too soon,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I do feel he's got to the point in his life
0:25:52 > 0:25:54where I have to give him some freedom and let him go.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56MOBILE PHONE BLEEPS
0:25:58 > 0:26:02She said her dad's having a go at her for some reason.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12CAR HORN TOOTS
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Is that her?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19I don't know who it is.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Her dad might not let her come.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27MOBILE PHONE BLEEPS
0:26:43 > 0:26:47Um, she just said that her dad's not bringing her now.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51No, it's not them.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Tom?
0:27:34 > 0:27:39Mum, I can't... Where's my magic doll?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41I don't know what you've done with it.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Tom?
0:27:46 > 0:27:47Tom?
0:27:47 > 0:27:51Tom, love, come on, sit up for a minute.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- Tom?- What?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Quick, you want to be awake when she gets here, don't you?
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- She's not even coming, you arsehole. - She's not coming?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01She's not coming? Why?
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Has she said she's not coming?
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Don't hit me.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18It happens all the time. It's not the first time.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20It happens all the time.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25People don't seem to realise
0:28:25 > 0:28:29how much they play with people's feelings or their minds or anything.
0:28:29 > 0:28:30I'd like to know what she said.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Tom, we need your help...
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Get the fuck away from me!
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Part of Alex's routine
0:28:57 > 0:29:01is playing pool in a local league every Tuesday night,
0:29:01 > 0:29:07and it seems even his pool mates know exactly what he's looking for.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Yeah, I think he'd like a girlfriend, yeah.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12What kind of girl do you think he'd go for?
0:29:12 > 0:29:15- Any girl he likes.- Any?
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Anyone, yeah.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23He's got a lot of good qualities, I'd say.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25He's very outgoing.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27It's just a case of finding the right one, really.
0:29:34 > 0:29:38He's my baby, but I'm probably selfish with him,
0:29:38 > 0:29:44but as a mum, you always want to be needed, however little it is.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Would it be easier for you if Alex
0:29:46 > 0:29:48was looking to date girls with autism?
0:29:53 > 0:29:56Um...probably, it probably would,
0:29:56 > 0:30:00but that's obviously going to have its own difficulties as well.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03Alex probably wouldn't be.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05They don't get on with one another,
0:30:05 > 0:30:08because they don't get on with anybody very easily.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15How hard or easy would it be if he did find someone?
0:30:15 > 0:30:18It would be very hard.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21You don't want them to be hurt
0:30:21 > 0:30:24and you want to keep them safe and close to you.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27Yeah, it would be very hard.
0:30:27 > 0:30:32Growing up is harder because they tend to mature more slowly
0:30:32 > 0:30:36and they really don't have the life experiences.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40You look cold.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42I'm freezing. Have you finished?
0:30:42 > 0:30:44- We won the last one.- Oh, jolly good.
0:30:44 > 0:30:48- Do you think it's harder growing up with Asperger's or...?- Yes.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Yes? Why? Why is it harder?
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Excuse me a minute.
0:30:52 > 0:30:59- Why is it harder?- I don't know. Cos I get bad-tempered easily sometimes,
0:30:59 > 0:31:04it's hard to find a job, bit of a problem, or get a girlfriend.
0:31:04 > 0:31:10It's only a few days since I last saw Tom, but his mood hasn't changed
0:31:10 > 0:31:13and it seems now he's in trouble.
0:31:15 > 0:31:16What it was, Tom was on MSN
0:31:16 > 0:31:19and there wasn't anybody on there so he was just mucking about,
0:31:19 > 0:31:23and one of the kids wanted to go on the computer and he said to them,
0:31:23 > 0:31:25"Fuck off, you're not going on it."
0:31:25 > 0:31:27I said, "Don't talk to them like that, Tom,"
0:31:27 > 0:31:30and he's just stood up, punched me on the side of the head,
0:31:30 > 0:31:33I've near enough seen stars cos I wasn't expecting it,
0:31:33 > 0:31:37and then all I could do is stop him from getting the other kids,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39so I'm just holding him on the floor.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42It was like restraining a wild horse, wasn't it? Literally.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44So how did you do it?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46The only way I could do it was lay on top of him
0:31:46 > 0:31:49and then he's still dragging me across the floor,
0:31:49 > 0:31:51but that's the only way you can deal with it.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54You can't just put him in a cold shower. We've done that before,
0:31:54 > 0:31:58and he's kicked the shower to bits and then we have to redo all the walls again,
0:31:58 > 0:31:59same as in his bedroom.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15We both feel like we've been hit by a lorry.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Just can't control him.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54My dad just started, like, really annoying me,
0:32:54 > 0:32:57so I had a bit of a fight.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03I kept swinging my arms and stuff, trying to push him away
0:33:03 > 0:33:05and I accidentally punched him round the face.
0:33:05 > 0:33:10I seriously didn't mean to do that and then he started charging at me
0:33:10 > 0:33:13and I was just trying to protect myself.
0:33:16 > 0:33:22And he stood on my face and you can see the bruise if you look carefully,
0:33:22 > 0:33:23sort of round there.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26And I've got a lump at the back of my head
0:33:26 > 0:33:30and he scratched my hands where he was trying to hold me.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33And there's a bruise somewhere on my arm.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39And so what do you think's going to happen now?
0:33:39 > 0:33:41I'm not sure.
0:33:41 > 0:33:48Today I just thought, like, exercise and stuff, trying to get stronger,
0:33:48 > 0:33:52cos at the minute I just feel, like, small and weak,
0:33:52 > 0:33:58so when my dad attacks me again, I can pin him to the floor
0:33:58 > 0:34:01and tell him that I'm not weak and they can leave me alone.
0:34:06 > 0:34:08I just want them to, like,
0:34:08 > 0:34:13stop having fights with me and just leave me alone.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Good morning.
0:34:33 > 0:34:38Last time, obviously, you wanted a break from me and the camera and...
0:34:38 > 0:34:41Yes, it didn't feel quite right.
0:34:41 > 0:34:46I mean, if you, say, lost a relative and went to the funeral and,
0:34:46 > 0:34:51the day after, I came knocking on your door, I mean, that's how I felt.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54'Oli's had some positive news.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57'He's been assigned a local council worker,
0:34:57 > 0:34:59'whose job is to help people like him find work.'
0:34:59 > 0:35:00Oh, yeah.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04Would you mind not eating them? Can I take these away?
0:35:04 > 0:35:05You've had an awful lot, sorry.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- But...- Yes, I know, but you've had a lot of them and they're still sugar.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12- Shall we talk to Emma about work solutions?- I want a job.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15- Give me a job.- Anything else?
0:35:15 > 0:35:17- Um...- Do you attend a college course
0:35:17 > 0:35:21or are you part of a group on one day or anything like that?
0:35:21 > 0:35:24I've only just been unemployed, so I have no week.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28- OK, and what was your job title while you were there? - Stamping books.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32- Stamping assistant, wasn't it? - You were just doing a temporary contract?- Yeah.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34And they didn't feel they could extend that,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37- or it was never going to be extended?- It was never going to be.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40OK. If you had an ideal job you could apply for tomorrow, what would it be?
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- It would be something to do with the performing arts.- OK.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46I see myself as an actor
0:35:46 > 0:35:50who is starting to exploit his wild talent.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55I'm not sure, but I'm just going to throw it onto the table.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Something like repetitive data entry.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Health and social care. So that's...
0:36:01 > 0:36:04No, I'm not going to do that.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07Well, hang on. Do you know what that means?
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Yeah, doing health and safety.
0:36:09 > 0:36:13- No.- No. - Everybody has transferable skills.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15- Do you know what that means?- No.
0:36:15 > 0:36:20So there could be a job where they need somebody to do the washing-up and make cups of tea,
0:36:20 > 0:36:22so you could transfer those skills
0:36:22 > 0:36:25from using them in your house to using them in the workplace.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Do you understand what I mean by that?
0:36:28 > 0:36:32Yeah, but if you're making a cup of tea and washing up at home,
0:36:32 > 0:36:34what's the point in doing it elsewhere?
0:36:34 > 0:36:36I can't, somehow, conceptually understand...
0:36:36 > 0:36:42- A with B, really, to me, means X with T.- Yes.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45Well, I think you've explained that really well!
0:36:45 > 0:36:48That was a very good explanation. So I'm going to get off.
0:36:48 > 0:36:53- Yeah.- I'm just going to get a tissue and get rid of my bogie.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55We need to find an employer
0:36:55 > 0:37:00- who doesn't quite have the demand for the skills.- Yes.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04Yeah, all right. Sorry to change the subject completely,
0:37:04 > 0:37:05but going on with my...
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Cos I'm a bit of a history nut and what can you...
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Now Oliver, hang on a minute. Oliver, I've got to go.
0:37:11 > 0:37:17Yeah, but I found this word out on this film and it's called pleb.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- Yeah, and what's that?- I don't know what it means and I find that
0:37:20 > 0:37:26absolutely hilarious how these Romans greet each other, say, "Hello, pleb."
0:37:28 > 0:37:33When Emma's gone, we'll get out the Oxford English Dictionary
0:37:33 > 0:37:35and we'll have a look to see what it actually means.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39It's got to mean something, cos I'm fascinated to know what it means.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42- Bye.- Plebs, the lot of them.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Oli, you're incorrigible.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47- Plebs.- Very engaging. You liked her, didn't you?
0:37:47 > 0:37:51- I liked her, really seeking the positive.- Yes.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54I think Oliver's probably got quite a lot to offer in terms of work
0:37:54 > 0:38:00and it's just about us accessing a job that matches his skill set.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03It's all very well talking the talk.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06I want to see that talk put into action.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Alex is back online, checking messages.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19And this time, he's received one.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25Says her name is Kirsty, she's 19, lives in Poole. Nice name.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32"And I also have autism." Hmm.
0:38:37 > 0:38:38Don't know what to do now.
0:38:38 > 0:38:42Do I send her an e-mail first or just go into the website?
0:38:42 > 0:38:45You know? Help!
0:39:01 > 0:39:04"Dear Kirsty, I would love to share my life with you.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08"What I do in a day - volunteer work on Mondays and Fridays,
0:39:08 > 0:39:12"but what I'd really like to do is spend time with you, maybe one day."
0:39:14 > 0:39:16Are you going to ask to meet her?
0:39:16 > 0:39:20Sunday, after Saturday.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26- Send.- You look happy.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Are you gay or something?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36We have a reply.
0:39:36 > 0:39:41"That sounds good, yes, I would like to spend a day with you too." Mmm.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43She wants to spend the day with me.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45"Yes, I am free on Sunday.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47"I would like to meet you."
0:39:47 > 0:39:50- This is Kirsty, Mum. - She looks very nice.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Mmm. She's very nice, purple.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57- You like purple.- Yes, she's wearing purple. How bad can it be?
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Yes, and then I might have a date.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02She would like to meet me, she said.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04You're just meeting. It's not a date yet.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07You're just meeting to say hi.
0:40:09 > 0:40:14OK? It's going to rain on Sunday, so it will be a wet day out on Sunday.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16I've had another message.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18It says, "Thank you very much.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21"You look a nice person in your photo, too,
0:40:21 > 0:40:23"happy face.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27"My favourite colour is blue because of dolphins."
0:40:29 > 0:40:33I'll try and remember that. She likes blue like dolphins.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42Tom, you must sign the forms for the college, cos you haven't done it.
0:40:42 > 0:40:43You won't help me with it.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46Well, go and get it and we'll sit and do it now, yeah?
0:40:46 > 0:40:47- Mm-hm.- Gimme this then.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51Tom attends a school run by the charity Barnardo's
0:40:51 > 0:40:54and both his parents believe it might be beneficial
0:40:54 > 0:40:57if he had some time away from the family.
0:40:57 > 0:41:01The school actually came up with the idea that they could offer him
0:41:01 > 0:41:05residential if somebody could pay for it.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08He will be away from the family during the week to give us and him
0:41:08 > 0:41:13a break, cos he doesn't cope with the noise and what goes on here.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17Predicted grades. So put English...
0:41:17 > 0:41:24B? Tom, don't be silly, otherwise I'll have to write it up.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26He has in his own room in a unit, like a children's home.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30- Do you have any form of learning difficulties?- Um, yeah.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34And I want you to write, "I have autism."
0:41:35 > 0:41:40'Hopefully, if we all have a bit of a break and a bit of breathing space,'
0:41:40 > 0:41:43the relationship between me and Tom might get better,
0:41:43 > 0:41:46the relationship between you and Tom might get a bit better,
0:41:46 > 0:41:48and everybody else, really.
0:41:52 > 0:41:58Oli is hitting the high street on his mission to find work.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02Anyone that has got a hole in the wall, as in, like, somebody drops out
0:42:02 > 0:42:05- for whatever reason, can I have that job?- Yeah, all right, yeah(!)
0:42:05 > 0:42:10My jeans just keep falling down.
0:42:10 > 0:42:16'I've done some cold calling, sent my CV out to various local businesses
0:42:16 > 0:42:22'and companies in Potter's Bar, Hertford, Hatfield, Welling, St Albans.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25'I'm still waiting. I'm still unemployed.'
0:42:25 > 0:42:26What can I get you?
0:42:26 > 0:42:30Can I have this branch of Costa's? Can I have a job?
0:42:32 > 0:42:36We're barely hanging on to ours, let alone giving you one.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40I'll just sling the manager out his office and have his job, yeah?
0:42:40 > 0:42:42- I'll pay you double rates. - Yeah, that would be good!
0:42:46 > 0:42:52Only 15% of people with autism are in full-time employment.
0:42:52 > 0:42:57Alex is lucky enough to work part-time for a local security company.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03I interviewed for an office assistant and Alex sent a letter
0:43:03 > 0:43:05and it did say he had mild Asperger's.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09It's only for the fact that he was so honest
0:43:09 > 0:43:11on his CV, he didn't try and hide it,
0:43:11 > 0:43:14he actually said, "This is what's wrong with me,
0:43:14 > 0:43:18"this is what I can do and I'd like to show you what I can do",
0:43:18 > 0:43:20that we actually said, "OK, we'll see him."
0:43:20 > 0:43:22We haven't looked back since.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24My wage slip.
0:43:25 > 0:43:31Alex has told his workmates about his upcoming meeting with Kirsty.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34- Have you see pictures of her? - Yeah, I've seen her picture.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36- Have you met her yet?- No.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38She sent me a picture on an e-mail.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40Oh, well, so that's ideal, isn't it?
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Not the same as actually meeting someone.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44No, but it gives you an introduction.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47It gives you, like, something to talk about, you know?
0:43:47 > 0:43:51You just need to see how it goes, and if it doesn't work out,
0:43:51 > 0:43:53clock it up to experience and start again.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Yeah.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59What's good for you on this is you can actually talk to somebody that's
0:43:59 > 0:44:01got exactly the same as yourself,
0:44:01 > 0:44:05whereas that must be really hard for you to date somebody that hasn't.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10So you can have nice cuddles with a little bit of... Yeah?
0:44:10 > 0:44:12- Yeah.- Whatever.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15"Whatever." I've made him blush.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18Don't wear that tie either.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24If I was any cooler, I'd be an ice cube.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33Today, Tom's moving out of the family home
0:44:33 > 0:44:36and into his school's residential unit.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38He'll become a residential student,
0:44:38 > 0:44:42rather than a day student, so he will stay in residence
0:44:42 > 0:44:45from Monday to Friday.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47It will help him, especially as he's starting his exams.
0:44:47 > 0:44:52It will help to have a bit of respite for him and respite for us.
0:44:52 > 0:44:55And I do feel that he needs to grow up and I feel that this is
0:44:55 > 0:44:57the only way of doing it, really.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03I suppose, being his parents, you feel like
0:45:03 > 0:45:06this shouldn't have happened in the first place and that, you know...
0:45:06 > 0:45:09He can't help the way he is and I've got to accept the fact
0:45:09 > 0:45:11that that's what should happen.
0:45:11 > 0:45:14But there's sort of a degree of guilt with that
0:45:14 > 0:45:20and failure, that he's having to go somewhere else.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25How do you feel about it?
0:45:25 > 0:45:27Um, I'm OK about it.
0:45:30 > 0:45:34Part of me just wants to, like, go away from my family and stuff.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Do you feel a bit sad? Do you feel happy? Do you feel...?
0:45:38 > 0:45:41Um, at the moment I feel,
0:45:41 > 0:45:42like, really hot and ill.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45I just came out the shower
0:45:45 > 0:45:47and, just, like the feeling started coming out of me.
0:45:47 > 0:45:51It feels like there's still steam around me for some reason.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53It feels really weird.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06- Tom?- Yeah.
0:46:24 > 0:46:30It's the week of Tom's GCSEs, and this morning he has an art exam.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35Tom will share his new home with 12 other boys
0:46:35 > 0:46:39with social, emotional and behavioural needs.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43The boys are cared for round the clock by a team of social workers.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45Oh, look at this.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49You can choose a bed, Tom, whichever one you want to...
0:46:49 > 0:46:53- I choose that one.- Tom, your exam starts in five minutes,
0:46:53 > 0:46:56- so can you...?- Right.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58If you want to make your way there, I'll make your bed
0:46:58 > 0:47:01and have it all nice for when you come back.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Tom.
0:47:12 > 0:47:13- Do I get a kiss? - Nope.
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Aaw. Give your dad a hug or something.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19No.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28And I'll see you on Friday, yeah?
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Mm-hm.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32See you, Tom. Give me a ring later.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34See you.
0:47:37 > 0:47:42- See you.- Love you, bye.
0:47:44 > 0:47:49"Dear Tom, I hope you like how I made your bed.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52"Looks more comfy than the one you have at home.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54"You'll really enjoy being around the other boys.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56"It's like being on holiday,
0:47:56 > 0:47:59"but without your brothers and Charlotte to mess things up for you.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01"You will now be responsible for yourself
0:48:01 > 0:48:03"and have to care for yourself.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06"It's a real lesson in growing up and you'll be doing it quicker
0:48:06 > 0:48:07"than everyone else.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10"Enjoy the fun here, keep clean and tidy,
0:48:10 > 0:48:14"make sure you shower every day, try really hard in your exams.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17"The peace and quiet should help you a lot.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20"Dad said he loves you and you owe him a kiss when you get home.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24"James, Josh, Ollie, Alex and Lou.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28"PS. Smudge said he'll wait on your bed for you till you get home."
0:48:29 > 0:48:31It's all right.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35He's still my little boy,
0:48:37 > 0:48:40but I still see him as a little four-year-old.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Oli is still unemployed.
0:48:52 > 0:48:56Despite a visit from a local council worker,
0:48:56 > 0:48:58there's no job on offer.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01In an attempt to fill his time and create a routine,
0:49:01 > 0:49:04Oli has been visiting various town centres.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06Today, he's in his favourite city.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09Cambridge. What do I know about Cambridge?
0:49:09 > 0:49:13Well, it's a city, for starters, known for its university.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16'It's been four months since I first met Oli,
0:49:16 > 0:49:20'and he's getting more and more frustrated with his situation.'
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Talk us through some of the jobs you've applied for.
0:49:23 > 0:49:24Where do you want me to start?
0:49:24 > 0:49:29Sainsbury's, Tesco's Nero's, Costa's, Starbucks,
0:49:29 > 0:49:33BBC, TK Maxx, Mars, WH Smith,
0:49:33 > 0:49:37Boots, John Lewis, Waitrose.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39Quite a lot of them didn't get back to me at all.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42The Government make it bloody awkward for everyone,
0:49:42 > 0:49:44autistic and non-autistic alike.
0:49:44 > 0:49:50They talk cack, and that cack is run by plebs.
0:49:50 > 0:49:56He just goes there because it's something for him to do,
0:49:56 > 0:50:00and that's why it's really important that we do...
0:50:02 > 0:50:06..get a routine for him and some structure.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10So I've often gone down to the end of the garden and cried buckets
0:50:10 > 0:50:12so that nobody can see me or hear me,
0:50:12 > 0:50:17so the flowers should grow very well down there with my tears, shouldn't they, really?
0:50:18 > 0:50:23There are times when I can't handle it. I can't handle the fact that I'm autistic,
0:50:23 > 0:50:24whether I like it or not.
0:50:24 > 0:50:29I'll grow up, yes, but it might take me longer to grow up
0:50:29 > 0:50:33and adjust than some little mainstream...
0:50:33 > 0:50:34You know what I mean?
0:50:34 > 0:50:37Somebody of mainstream origin can grown up just like that.
0:50:37 > 0:50:42Me, it might take me that little bit longer to learn, adjust and then grow.
0:50:44 > 0:50:49Oli is still determined to find work, but with 425,000 more adults
0:50:49 > 0:50:56with autism in his position, it's hard to see if he'll succeed in his mission any time soon.
0:51:01 > 0:51:06Alex is preparing for his meeting with Kirsty.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09I get nervous on first dates, not really talkative.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12It's more like an interrogation.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17- Have you thought about what you'll talk about?- No.
0:51:17 > 0:51:21Bit hard to know what to talk about if you don't know anything
0:51:21 > 0:51:24about the person you're meeting, apart from she likes Monopoly.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Thank you.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30Thank you.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32There's a nice seat.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34There's a nice table there.
0:51:34 > 0:51:38Alex's mum Peggy is dropping him at the cafe.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41After that, he's on his own.
0:51:41 > 0:51:46- Yes, I'll call you when I'm finished, Mum.- OK.- See you later.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59- Hiya.- Hello, Kirsty.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Hi, Alex.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04- Pleased to meet you.- You all right?
0:52:04 > 0:52:06Yeah. Have a seat.
0:52:06 > 0:52:08Thank you.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Um...
0:52:26 > 0:52:30Is there anything you want to ask me?
0:52:32 > 0:52:36I can't think of anything, I'm afraid, at the moment.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41- I hate having Asperger's sometimes. - Why?
0:52:41 > 0:52:44For making me so nervous and quiet.
0:52:44 > 0:52:48Do you do like set routines?
0:52:48 > 0:52:50Do I like set routines?
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Yes, usually.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56I do everything by the book and like to be on time and things like that.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Yeah. Do you know about Facebook?
0:52:59 > 0:53:01- Facebook?- Yeah.- Not really.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04It's an online social networking site.
0:53:04 > 0:53:09- You can chat to your friends on there as well.- I don't really have many friends.
0:53:09 > 0:53:13- You've got me. - Yes, I mean apart from you.
0:53:13 > 0:53:15Will you always be my friend, Kirsty?
0:53:15 > 0:53:18- I will be your friend. - Always?- Yeah.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23By the way, you've got a piece of chocolate there.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27Would you like to go for a walk?
0:53:29 > 0:53:32Shall we, my lady?
0:53:37 > 0:53:43Be nice if they could just sort of support one another, even if there's nothing else,
0:53:43 > 0:53:48because they live quite a long way apart, so that's awkward.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02All right, it was nice to see you.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05- It was nice to meet you. - All right, take care.
0:54:05 > 0:54:09- We must meet again some time. - Yeah, OK.- Keep in contact.- Yeah.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11- I'll see you later.- OK, bye.- Bye.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13'It was fun.'
0:54:13 > 0:54:16What did you think of Alex?
0:54:16 > 0:54:18He was nice.
0:54:18 > 0:54:23- And do you think you'll see her again?- Hopefully. It would be nice to see her again.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27These are face cards.
0:54:29 > 0:54:37They help people with autism to tell you how we're feeling.
0:54:37 > 0:54:43This is how I felt when I saw Alex - excited.
0:54:43 > 0:54:44And how do you feel now?
0:54:44 > 0:54:46I feel...
0:54:46 > 0:54:48very happy.
0:54:49 > 0:54:53Is this the start of a beautiful relationship?
0:54:53 > 0:54:54I don't know. It could be.
0:55:00 > 0:55:07It's been three weeks since Tom became a boarder at his school's residential care unit.
0:55:07 > 0:55:09He's also turned 16.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12Things have got a lot better in the unit.
0:55:12 > 0:55:18Well, I've got a room to myself where people don't come in every two seconds
0:55:18 > 0:55:21and break something, cos it's got a lock on it.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24They give me lots of freedom.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27It makes me feel like I want to stay here for ever.
0:55:27 > 0:55:34When I came back from my art exam, looked under my pillow and there's my mum's note that she wrote,
0:55:34 > 0:55:39and I read it and I just laughed, cos she still talks to me like I'm little,
0:55:39 > 0:55:44like the way she says at the end that my cat's waiting for me on my bed.
0:55:44 > 0:55:48And also, she said she'd kiss me when I'm back.
0:55:56 > 0:56:01I just want people to know all the problems I have
0:56:01 > 0:56:03and disadvantages
0:56:03 > 0:56:06that I have and just show them,
0:56:06 > 0:56:10so if they meet someone like me
0:56:10 > 0:56:15that they could understand them and not just, like,
0:56:15 > 0:56:18take the piss out of them
0:56:18 > 0:56:22and, like, make their lives a misery.