0:00:05 > 0:00:11The traditional roles of mum and dad have changed radically in the last quarter of a century.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Men have reinvented
0:00:13 > 0:00:16what it means to be a father in less than a generation.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18In the 1970s, when I was growing up,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21dads spent on average a quarter of an hour a day
0:00:21 > 0:00:23involved in child-related activities.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Now, that figure's moved up to nearly two hours.
0:00:26 > 0:00:31Many fathers want to be more involved in their child's upbringing. That's great.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35This is the 21st century, after all.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38But new research suggests that the role of the father
0:00:38 > 0:00:42in bringing up their kids is far more important than we thought.
0:00:42 > 0:00:48'I'm going to travel round Britain and meet some of the country's best child psychologists,
0:00:48 > 0:00:51'and conduct a series of fascinating experiments.
0:00:51 > 0:00:56'I'll discover how the bond between father and child forms well before birth.'
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Good morning, sunshine. Are you waking up?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01'And how a man's hormones change when he has a child.'
0:01:04 > 0:01:10So this male, compared to what he was, say, six months ago, is a completely different hormonal animal.
0:01:10 > 0:01:17I'll find out how a father's unique style of play helps his child develop and become independent.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20How dads lay down their own kind of rules.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24There's a limit to how much you can use the computer, and we have to set boundaries to this.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I come downstairs, and you're like, "You're not wearing that out".
0:01:28 > 0:01:30But you had hot pants on.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33We're not friends as such. I am the parent, yeah.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Parent first, friend afters.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40'And I'll show you how a dad's relationship with his daughter
0:01:40 > 0:01:42'can even influence when she reaches puberty,
0:01:42 > 0:01:45'and who she marries.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56'In the next hour,
0:01:56 > 0:02:02'I'm going to investigate the special role a dad plays at every stage in his child's life.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09'It turns out a father's relationship with his child begins even before it's born.'
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Once a man's sperm fertilises the egg,
0:02:18 > 0:02:23the baby grows deep inside the mother's womb over the next nine months.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Clearly, the mother has a strong bond with her child.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I've always thought that this was a world closed to the father.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34But research has shown this may not be true at all.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38In studies carried out in the UK,
0:02:38 > 0:02:43newborns tested just four hours after birth already recognised their father's voice.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Rise and shine.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Can you hear me in there?
0:02:47 > 0:02:53'I want to find out if a baby can identify its father's voice even when it's still in the womb.'
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Hello.- I'm Richard.- Hi, Richard.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- I'm Alice.- Hi, Alice.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02'Alice is 27 weeks pregnant.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06'Her husband, Richard, likes to speak to his unborn baby as often as possible.'
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Hello, are you awake in there?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Try and wake him up. - Hello, sunshine.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Are you awake?
0:03:13 > 0:03:18'Today, he'll see if his unborn child is listening to him.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24'A sonographer will do an ultrasound scan to monitor the baby's heartbeat.'
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Hi, my name's Andy. I'll be scanning you today.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32'Inside the mother's abdomen, it's far from silent.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41'First, I want to see what happens when the baby hears Mum's voice.'
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Can you lean in and talk to the baby?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46OK, hello, are we awake yet?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I can feel a little bit of kicking.
0:03:55 > 0:04:01As early as 16 weeks into the pregnancy, the baby can hear its mother's voice through the womb.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07The familiar sound of her voice raises the baby's heartbeat...
0:04:12 > 0:04:14..a clear sign it's responding to her.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20But now it's Dad's turn.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25OK, Richard, let's test this out, see if the hard work's paid off. See if your baby responds to your voice.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Hello, it's Daddy.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Hello.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Incredibly, it seems not only can the foetus hear voices,
0:04:35 > 0:04:40but in this test, it responds more strongly to Dad than Mum.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44When you were talking to the baby, the heart rate was 136,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47but when you were talking to the baby, it was 144.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- That's nice to know! - It's huge, actually.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51So, the biggest reaction comes from Dad.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- More than me! You're going to have to talk to it much more!- I will.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It feels like a closer connection, it's getting a little impatient now.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01We've still got to wait another three months, nearly.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08It doesn't surprise me that a baby's bond with its mother starts in the womb,
0:05:08 > 0:05:13but what is amazing is the fact that a father's bond with his baby can also start well before birth.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18'Not only that, but startling new research reveals
0:05:18 > 0:05:23'that as soon as the mother gets pregnant, the father's body starts to change as well.
0:05:26 > 0:05:33'And it's all down to hormones, chemicals that race around our body and change the way we behave.
0:05:33 > 0:05:39'Nature appears to have created a cocktail of hormones, specially designed to help fatherhood.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45'Here at Kingston University, Dr Arthur Brennan believes these hormones
0:05:45 > 0:05:49'can cause physical changes in a man, just like those in a pregnant woman.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55'His research is so extraordinary, I asked to meet one of his patients.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02Dr Brennan studied 282 fathers to be, including this one, Michel,
0:06:02 > 0:06:07'who described an extraordinary set of symptoms when his partner became pregnant.'
0:06:07 > 0:06:13Nausea, and then it became sickness, real sickness.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15How would you describe that sickness?
0:06:15 > 0:06:20Well, just vomiting, either in the morning or after lunch.
0:06:22 > 0:06:29'Strikingly, 55% of the men in Dr Brennan's study reported symptoms similar to Michel,
0:06:29 > 0:06:34'symptoms that most of us associate with pregnant mothers.'
0:06:34 > 0:06:36What about your appetite? Did that increase at all?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38At times I would go into a corner shop,
0:06:38 > 0:06:43and just go and buy something I wouldn't eat normally because I find them disgusting,
0:06:43 > 0:06:50like those big sandwiches, and I would just stuff my face with them.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56'I find it difficult to understand how it's possible for a man like Michel
0:06:56 > 0:07:00'to experience symptoms of pregnancy similar to a woman.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02'But this is a genuine condition.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05'It even has a name - Couvade Syndrome.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12'Dr Brennan believes the symptoms are caused by a female hormone that lurks in all men,
0:07:12 > 0:07:16'and is triggered into action when his partner becomes pregnant.'
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I do definitively think there's a hormonal basis for Couvade,
0:07:19 > 0:07:23namely alterations in the female hormone in men, prolactin,
0:07:23 > 0:07:27during the period of the pregnancy, and shortly after birth.
0:07:27 > 0:07:34Prolactin is a hormone produced inside the brain, and released into the bloodstream.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37It's known as the "mothering hormone,"
0:07:37 > 0:07:42as it triggers lactation in women, and their instinct to breastfeed.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46But why would men produce it?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50It seems they're not alone.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53In the animal world, elevated levels of prolactin
0:07:53 > 0:07:57have been discovered in male marmoset monkeys when they look after their young.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02They are one of the few primates besides humans who share parenting.
0:08:08 > 0:08:14Michel and his wife have just had their baby, and Michel has agreed to have his prolactin levels tested.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20First, his blood is taken when he's on his own.
0:08:20 > 0:08:26He's then asked to cuddle his new daughter, Mathilde, for 15 minutes.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Prolactin is a highly responsive hormone,
0:08:32 > 0:08:37so even this brief exposure to his child should be enough to test his body's reaction.
0:08:44 > 0:08:51Now we'll compare the levels of prolactin in Michel's blood before and after he's held his baby.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Thank you very much.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Here's the first result, and your second result.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Thank you very much.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12OK, don't keep me in suspense any longer.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Absolutely. Yes, well, the results are very interesting.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20There's an increase, there's particularly high levels of prolactin.
0:09:20 > 0:09:26'Incredibly, Michel's levels of prolactin have gone up by 20%.'
0:09:26 > 0:09:29These preliminary results are very encouraging.
0:09:29 > 0:09:34And Michel gets some sort of evidence of where his symptoms are coming from.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42It seems that just a few minutes of contact with his baby has increased his prolactin levels.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50'It's amazing, but it does seem that dads have evolved these hormonal responses
0:09:50 > 0:09:54'to help them play their part in bringing up the child.'
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Like many fathers, Michel was present at the birth of his daughter.
0:09:59 > 0:10:05But the NHS only started to allow men to be present in the delivery room in 1962.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12The days of men being banned from the delivery suites are long gone.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15The image of them pacing up and down the corridors,
0:10:15 > 0:10:18waiting for permission to see their babies, that's a thing of the past.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23In fact, a staggering 93% of fathers are now present at the births of their children.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27And when they're present, this has a fascinating impact,
0:10:27 > 0:10:34because of another hormone called oxytocin, also known as the "love hormone".
0:10:34 > 0:10:36This is Sebastian and his partner, Lynsey.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40She is about to give birth to their first child.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Take deep breaths.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45SHE MOANS
0:10:46 > 0:10:52Oxytocin is triggered by skin to skin contact, and creates a strong emotional bond between a couple.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55It's what binds them together in lovemaking.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00But it's also the hormone that controls a woman's contractions.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07Studies have found that women whose partners were present and supportive during labour
0:11:07 > 0:11:11were less distressed, with shorter delivery times.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13SHE MOANS
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Remember what the midwife said,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19hold your breath, and then push again.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Sebastian's presence is a real plus.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27He really helps increase the mother's oxytocin, and that makes the contractions less painful.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34His presence could well be making the process of giving birth much easier.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41But it can also work the other way around.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45If the father is too anxious, he inhibits the oxytocin in the mother,
0:11:45 > 0:11:49and that can lead to a longer and more painful labour.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Luckily, that isn't the case with Sebastian and Lynsey.
0:11:54 > 0:12:01But like every new dad, as soon as the baby is born, he is checking to see who it looks like.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05He's got your ears.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11Hormones affect both the mother and father through pregnancy and birth,
0:12:11 > 0:12:16but as soon as the birth is finished, their paths start to divide.
0:12:16 > 0:12:22A mother always knows that the child is hers, whereas a father can never be absolutely sure.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Research suggests that when a new father first looks at his baby,
0:12:26 > 0:12:31he instinctively searches for signs that his genes have been passed on to the next generation,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33and that the baby is his.
0:12:36 > 0:12:43In this study, fathers were placed in a brain scan, and shown a picture of a child they'd never seen before.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45The researchers were amazed to see
0:12:45 > 0:12:49that the decision-making area of their brain was immediately activated.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57'Mothers, on the other hand, showed no such response.'
0:13:00 > 0:13:05These images seem to suggest that fathers were actually scanning their offspring's faces
0:13:05 > 0:13:07for indications of paternity.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10This is proof that men are hard wired very differently to women,
0:13:10 > 0:13:11and I want to know,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15how does this actually affect dads' relationships with their children?
0:13:17 > 0:13:21In particular, I want to find out what effect the key male hormone,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23testosterone, has on the relationship.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Men produce this hormone in much higher quantities than women,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31and it's strongly associated with aggression.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38Across the animal kingdom, high testosterone precipitates violent and competitive behaviour in males,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41especially in the mating season.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49But surely this kind of testosterone-fuelled behaviour
0:13:49 > 0:13:52isn't a good idea when there are small babies about.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59'What happens to men's naturally aggressive behaviour when they become dads?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01'I've come to Newcastle to find out.'
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Nick Neave is an evolutionary psychologist,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12and an expert on how testosterone controls men's behaviour.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18So, Nick, testosterone gets a pretty bad press. Can you give me your take on it?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20When there's babies about to be born,
0:14:20 > 0:14:25you do not want some big, butch, hairy, aggressive,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28violent male around these infants,
0:14:28 > 0:14:33because males who are high in testosterone have low levels of frustration tolerance.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37You don't want these guys flying off the handle when the baby starts to cry.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39But natural selection plays a trick.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42It switches off the testosterone, it damps it down,
0:14:42 > 0:14:46so that they stop producing large amounts of testosterone.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51Their bodies almost, in a sense, become less masculine, and slightly more feminine.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- So really levelling things out? - Absolutely, absolutely.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58Testosterone levels drop down dramatically, and they seem to be better dads.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I find this an incredible revelation.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Not only are new dads flooded with female hormones like prolactin,
0:15:06 > 0:15:10but the iconic male hormone, testosterone, is reduced.
0:15:11 > 0:15:18After birth, a father's testosterone levels will plummet by as much as a third.
0:15:20 > 0:15:26One experiment clearly demonstrates how this makes fathers behave in a more nurturing fashion.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30'Nick Neave and I are going to recreate this experiment,
0:15:30 > 0:15:35'to compare how this new dad acts differently to a single man.
0:15:37 > 0:15:42'First, we ask the new dad to hold a baby doll, as we observe him behind a one-way mirror.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48'To encourage him to act naturally, the researcher will chat to him about his family.'
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- He seems very animated.- Yeah.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55- And holding the baby quite close. - Yes.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Everything felt right, it just felt like I knew exactly how to pick him up,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03and I think it was looking into my own baby's eyes and stuff.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05It just felt natural.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09In the new dads, when you have this very artificial setting,
0:16:09 > 0:16:16with a doll, it's amazing how quickly they fall into the pattern, of "This is what you do when you hold a baby."
0:16:16 > 0:16:18So, there's the rocking motion.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Often, the dad will actually look down at the baby,
0:16:22 > 0:16:25and poke the blanket down, and just check and then think,
0:16:25 > 0:16:27"Oh, actually, it's not real."
0:16:27 > 0:16:32'It's thought that even the smell of a newborn baby can reduce a father's testosterone level.
0:16:32 > 0:16:37'So, the doll has been wrapped in a blanket from his own baby.'
0:16:37 > 0:16:42Although this is a doll, one wonders about the effect of having your own baby's blanket around.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Even though the doll's not real, and he knows it's not real,
0:16:45 > 0:16:49he's still responding honestly to it, because I think he's getting the smell from the baby.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53That's going to have a big impact upon his hormone system.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56The pheromones given off from the blanket, which are the baby's,
0:16:56 > 0:17:00will be having an impact on his hormones, they'll be lowering the testosterone.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05Male hormones are at their lowest levels since way before puberty.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06They'll never be as low again.
0:17:06 > 0:17:13So, this male, compared to what he was, say, six months ago, is a completely different hormonal animal.
0:17:13 > 0:17:20'The powerful bond this father has with his child has transformed him biologically.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25'Next, he is subjected to the sound of a crying baby. How will he react?
0:17:25 > 0:17:30'Remember, his testosterone is far less than a single man.'
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Some changes.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Looking down a little bit.
0:17:37 > 0:17:44Now, crying, of course, as we know, is possibly the most stressful sound that a human can hear.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48He's making sure to calm the baby, saying, "Look, it's OK, Dad's here,
0:17:48 > 0:17:53there's not a danger, it's fine, Dad's in control," and he's doing a super job.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56He's rubbing the baby, he's patting the baby,
0:17:56 > 0:18:01it's very hard to believe that that is a doll.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03'This new dad can't help himself.
0:18:03 > 0:18:09'He's clearly demonstrating nurturing behaviour, even though he knows it's a doll.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11'This experiment really works.'
0:18:13 > 0:18:18It is amazing, because, you know, blokes are perceived as being these gruff,
0:18:18 > 0:18:23dour, insensitive, not very caring and emotional.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25But if you put them in a situation like this,
0:18:25 > 0:18:29the change in them is amazing.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34It just makes me think, at that very early stage when you do get this drop in testosterone,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37thank goodness, because this is an opportunity to get the best out of dads.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Yes, that's right, that's right.
0:18:41 > 0:18:46'Our new dad's low testosterone level has increased his tolerance, and calmed him down.'
0:18:46 > 0:18:49He's done a brilliant job.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53'So, how will a single man, brimming with testosterone, do when he holds a doll?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56'Will he feel as compelled to comfort it?'
0:18:56 > 0:19:00What do you think of when you see a baby?
0:19:00 > 0:19:07I don't think of anything, I just associate it with a child, it's just a baby.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Our non-dad here, he's relaxed.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13There's no tucking in of the baby, there's no comforting.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- I'm not even sure there's any looking.- No, no.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19He's just sitting perfectly relaxed, like he's holding a sack of spuds.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Yes. And he's quite engaged with the person he's talking to.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Yes, absolutely.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28- That's the relationship he knows and understands.- Yes, absolutely.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Certainly, the hormone response is very different,
0:19:31 > 0:19:35because single males have the highest levels of testosterone.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39They are in mating mode, rather than parent mode,
0:19:39 > 0:19:44and all the studies carried out show that single males have the higher levels of testosterone.
0:19:44 > 0:19:49As soon as you enter into a long-term relationship, your levels drop.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53As soon as that relationship bears children, it drops again.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57And this makes perfectly good sense from an evolutionary point of view.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04'Now, the sound of a baby in distress is played to the single man.'
0:20:04 > 0:20:06'Will it trigger a protective instinct in him?'
0:20:06 > 0:20:10CRYING
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Look, he's just sort of, "For goodness sake!"
0:20:19 > 0:20:22"What is this row? What does this mean?"
0:20:22 > 0:20:24He hasn't once looked at the baby.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26He's really cut off, isn't he?
0:20:26 > 0:20:32Fed up is the word. "I've been exposed to this loud noise, and it's meaningless to me."
0:20:32 > 0:20:39- This looks like a young man who will be very happy to be relieved of this baby.- Yes.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42He has other things to think about, and it's not babies.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46And of course, that makes perfect sense. It's not what he wants.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Very mechanical handover.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Yes, "Quick, there you go, let me out of here."
0:20:54 > 0:20:59The difference in behaviour between the new dad and the single man is there to protect the baby.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06After hundreds of thousands of years, evolution has created men to be aggressive.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10But it has also given them the ability to switch on a paternal instinct
0:21:10 > 0:21:13at exactly the right moment.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18It's incredible to think that men have this dramatic physical response to fatherhood,
0:21:18 > 0:21:24a drop in testosterone which turns even the most macho men into gentle fathers.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32As a child grows, it becomes less vulnerable,
0:21:32 > 0:21:35and the dad's testosterone level starts to creep up.
0:21:36 > 0:21:42But hopefully, by then, he's already developed the skills to be a good dad.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44This group is called Hit the Ground Crawling,
0:21:44 > 0:21:51and it was set up by fathers who want to pass on their parenting skills to dads to be.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54If he starts crying or barfs on you, it's not my fault.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58You signed your disclaimer, mate! That's it, OK.
0:21:59 > 0:22:06What's interesting is that each time the father is exposed to his child, he bonds more and more.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09His testosterone may have risen since the birth,
0:22:09 > 0:22:13but his instincts are still to nurture and protect the child.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15After all, the child carries his DNA,
0:22:15 > 0:22:19and by protecting it, he is ensuring that his genes live on after him.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25The bonding process is vital, it calms him down,
0:22:25 > 0:22:30and this is enough to counterbalance his rising testosterone.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35But just in case his emotions and hormones aren't in the right balance,
0:22:35 > 0:22:39it's worth reinforcing the skills of basic childcare.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Here you are. Let's just chuck some in so she knows what's coming.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49There you go! Oh, is that all right?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Childcare is not always this easy.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56It can lead to stress and strain.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58BABY CRIES
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Didn't even last five minutes.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10When the caring emotions aren't enough to counter a potentially dangerous rise in testosterone,
0:23:10 > 0:23:12this may cause frustration and aggression.
0:23:15 > 0:23:21In extreme circumstances, it can lead to reactions such as Shaken Baby Syndrome.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23The thing about Shaken Baby Syndrome
0:23:23 > 0:23:30is that the overwhelming proportion of perpetrators are male.
0:23:30 > 0:23:36It's dads and male carers that do this, like yourselves, and like me.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39The egg represents the baby's brain,
0:23:39 > 0:23:43and the Tupperware represents the baby's skull.
0:23:43 > 0:23:48Now, we've all heard babies cry here today, and, over a prolonged period,
0:23:48 > 0:23:53I defy anyone not to get slightly uptight with it.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57But you can be there, suddenly it turns six o'clock in the morning,
0:23:57 > 0:24:02and you're still there, and, suddenly, you can snap.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05And you just go, "Will you please shut up?!"
0:24:06 > 0:24:10And we have a destroyed egg there.
0:24:10 > 0:24:15But what that represents is something quite serious in the way of brain damage.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22'Even though men need to be careful of their own strength,
0:24:22 > 0:24:27'research has shown that their masculine physicality actually has a very important role to play
0:24:27 > 0:24:28'in bringing up kids.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35'To investigate exactly how an ultra-masculine father
0:24:35 > 0:24:39'can be good for a child's early development, I'm heading off to the University of Lancaster.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54'So far, I've learned how the arrival of a new baby
0:24:54 > 0:24:58'triggers hormonal and behavioural changes in a father.
0:24:58 > 0:25:04'Now I want to find out just what impact a dad will have as the baby grows into a toddler.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11'I'm here to meet one the UK's leading experts on fatherhood,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14'psychologist Professor Charlie Lewis.'
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Hi, Laverne, I'm Charlie. Very good to meet you.
0:25:22 > 0:25:27'In a lab fitted with cameras, he's going to demonstrate that the physical way dads play
0:25:27 > 0:25:29'can help their children to learn.
0:25:31 > 0:25:37'Professor Lewis has asked Joe and his 15-month-old son, Jamie, to play together in the lab.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43'It's not long before they start some rough and tumble play.'
0:25:47 > 0:25:49This is classic rough-house chasing.
0:25:49 > 0:25:54He puts in the odd bit of classic rough and tumble, that "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
0:25:54 > 0:25:58The dad is trying to introduce him to sudden bursts of activity,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01which is potentially dangerous. If you're falling towards him,
0:26:01 > 0:26:04there's an element of danger every time you do it.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08That rough-housing we saw, where's that going to take the child's development?
0:26:08 > 0:26:14It's allowing him to exert power, but also to realise the limits of power.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19So you can't smash into your father, and continue to play or get away with it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22So he's learning limits.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27'This kind of play teaches a child when to respect boundaries, but also how to explore beyond them.'
0:26:29 > 0:26:35Dads do see it as their prerogative to extend the limits of the security of the child.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40They're always just pushing the child more, where mums are a little bit hesitant.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45They have the strength and the power to sort of hold the child away, and throw them around if they want to.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47And children learn to expect it.
0:26:47 > 0:26:52They do. They seek their dads out to do it. They don't just expect it.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54They really find it one of the high spots of the day.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05I really believe a dad's style of play can help their child develop,
0:27:05 > 0:27:08by teaching them how to push their limits and take risks.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16See if you can stand up. See if you can stand up.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17See if you can stand up.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Ha-ha! I told you!
0:27:19 > 0:27:23- Daddy, I don't want to go on here. - That's all right. We'll just do it a tiny little bit.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Ready? Try again. I'll hold this.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31A father's influence extends even further.
0:27:31 > 0:27:36Their particular style of play can spur language development.
0:27:39 > 0:27:45'The reason is that dads tend to use less baby talk, and more adult language.'
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Oh!
0:28:10 > 0:28:13You've heard that father say to the child, "It's a bad design."
0:28:13 > 0:28:16There's something peculiar about a father's language,
0:28:16 > 0:28:18because they use words that the child is not used to.
0:28:18 > 0:28:23Mums are constantly adapting their vocabulary so the child knows the word,
0:28:23 > 0:28:25whereas dads make these terrible mistakes.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Using this very different word that a child has no understanding of,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31that does help them spur their language on.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35Exactly. We know this from countless studies,
0:28:35 > 0:28:39that this is the function that many dads seem to serve.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Research has shown that fathers have greater impact than mothers
0:28:44 > 0:28:48on their children's language development between the ages of two and three.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54And the larger the vocabulary a father used,
0:28:54 > 0:28:57the higher their child scored on language tests a year later.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Are we insured?
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Right, here we go again.
0:29:07 > 0:29:12'Dads not only use longer words, but they encourage more complex uses of language,
0:29:12 > 0:29:14'such as wit and sarcasm.'
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Let's see if we get another bit.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36He said it in a very nice, ironical way.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38So, he's also introducing a style there.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41"I think you're doing this on purpose," smile,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43as if to say "Don't you dare,"
0:29:43 > 0:29:47at the same time as ironising the situation in a pleasant way.
0:29:47 > 0:29:52The father's language tends to be slightly more intense than the mother's,
0:29:52 > 0:29:55with the odd huge long sentence in there for self-amusement.
0:30:03 > 0:30:09In fact, Dad's playfulness leads many toddlers to see him as the more popular, fun parent.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15Mummy's here. Hiya.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21'Now Mum's come to join them. Look what happens when Dad leaves.'
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- Bye-bye.- Bye-bye.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31- Oh, look, he's going to follow Dad. - Yeah, that's...
0:30:33 > 0:30:38You responded to that as if you felt, "Yep, that's exactly what he should have done."
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Some people say that when you're involved in play,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42then, particularly at the toddler stage,
0:30:42 > 0:30:46kids will walk around the mum to get the father's attention.
0:30:46 > 0:30:51Many mums report feeling really quite cut up about that, but it only works in this particular context.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55The boy's still not playing. He's at the door. He's saying, "I want Dad.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57"You're not good enough to play with these toys.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01"You don't use the word "design" to me." There we are.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07'Eventually, the child returns and plays for a while.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11'But then the toys are removed to see how Mum and child interact.'
0:31:11 > 0:31:13See you later. Bye.
0:31:13 > 0:31:18So, what do we typically see of mothers when they're playing with their children?
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Physical play which is more measured.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23- Sedate.- Exactly.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26Of course, there's an overlap between mums and dads,
0:31:26 > 0:31:30but the stereotype that mums are much more passive,
0:31:30 > 0:31:36and they don't get in there and say, "Yes, let's get on with it." This is almost an archetypal example of that.
0:31:38 > 0:31:43I'm really impressed by how a dad's influence is so different from a mum's.
0:31:43 > 0:31:44Well done.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48His behaviour encourages a child to explore beyond their comfort zone,
0:31:48 > 0:31:51with both language and rough and tumble play.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56Dads' instinct to play seems completely right to me.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59This is pivotal to their experience with their child.
0:31:59 > 0:32:04They're teaching about independence, what it feels like to have a range of emotions.
0:32:04 > 0:32:09And when you look in the playground, you see children involved in games which are making them scared,
0:32:09 > 0:32:12making them happy, and this is really important for their development.
0:32:12 > 0:32:17So, when it comes to playing, dads seem to tick all the boxes.
0:32:19 > 0:32:25When a child enters school, the intense family bond is replaced with new-found independence.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Children are learning about how the world is organised,
0:32:30 > 0:32:34and how to differentiate between groups of people.
0:32:35 > 0:32:40'An important step in doing this is to identify the difference between the two genders.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47'I asked seven-year-olds Lucy and Josh to draw a picture
0:32:47 > 0:32:52'of the kind of things their parents do for them at home, with some telling insights.'
0:32:54 > 0:32:58Hello. Can you tell me about all the people in your drawing and what they're doing?
0:32:58 > 0:33:05That one's my dad, and he's playing football with me.
0:33:05 > 0:33:10My dad's the one that can play with me a lot,
0:33:10 > 0:33:15and my mum usually does the washing up.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18And my mum also does the cooking.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23Who plays with you more, Mum or Dad?
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Erm, Dad.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30What sort of things do you play?
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Well, he gives me piggy-backs.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35And your mum? What's your mum doing?
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Well, she's cooking the dinner for us.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44'Even in this modern age, it appears that more children
0:33:44 > 0:33:49'see their mums as the nurturer, and their dads as the entertainer.
0:33:49 > 0:33:54'So I thought I'd better ask some more children, "What are dads for?" to see if they agreed.'
0:33:55 > 0:33:58What are dads for?
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Dads are for when you need some money,
0:34:02 > 0:34:07and they play with you, and they do jokes, and they read you some stories at bedtime.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10My dad's very funny, and he's cheeky,
0:34:10 > 0:34:17and he always snuggles in my bed when I'm sleeping, and annoys me.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20What's the difference between your mum and dad?
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Well, my dad always watches the football, and my mum always cleans up.
0:34:24 > 0:34:30If your mum is busy and you didn't have a dad, you wouldn't have much fun.
0:34:31 > 0:34:36'It's not fair. All these kids see their dads as the fun parent.'
0:34:39 > 0:34:43But if there's only one parent, the roles of mum and dad have to merge.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Morning! Let's get you sorted for school, darling.
0:34:48 > 0:34:53What's really interesting is that single fathers parent in different ways to single mums.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58This is Neville. He looks after his daughter Alicia.
0:34:58 > 0:35:02Alicia's mother left just after she was born, six years ago.
0:35:03 > 0:35:07Study of single fathers has shown that men like Neville
0:35:07 > 0:35:10are just as capable of raising children as single mums,
0:35:10 > 0:35:11but in a different way.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- Your hands are cold.- Sorry. - Your hands are cold, Daddy.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Because I'm going to tilt you off, aren't I? Look, see.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23In contrast to single mums,
0:35:23 > 0:35:27single fathers place more emphasis on teaching their children to be independent,
0:35:27 > 0:35:29by making the learning of life lessons fun.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31They're still the entertainers.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Look, there's a face. Hello.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36Hello, face.
0:35:36 > 0:35:41In fact, they can make even the most mundane task into a game.
0:35:41 > 0:35:42Hang on, armpit check.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Although they like to play,
0:35:54 > 0:35:59single dads find it more important than single mums to set up a controlled routine in the home.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04Every morning it's the same thing. We do it every day, we do it every single day.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08It makes life easy for me, and it makes life easier for her,
0:36:08 > 0:36:11we're going to have a bit of a giggle doing it.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- Who's that?- That's you.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18I've got two heads. Why have I got two heads?
0:36:18 > 0:36:20What's that?
0:36:22 > 0:36:24That's hair.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27That's all right, then!
0:36:28 > 0:36:34The kids of single dads are more likely to eat breakfast and dinner at a regular time.
0:36:36 > 0:36:40Here you are, babe. Lissy, Lissy, sit up, baby.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42All right, have that. Have some tomato.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46This routine establishes a stronger sense of security,
0:36:46 > 0:36:50producing children who are more independent and mature.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Yeah, and we'll catch you up.
0:36:56 > 0:37:01'And it's not just the children of single fathers who find learning fun.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05'All children with fathers who are involved in their early years
0:37:05 > 0:37:11'turn up for school with more confidence, show more patience, and can maintain interest in their work.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15'And studies have shown that this effect is so powerful,
0:37:15 > 0:37:19'it leads to kids who are twice as likely to achieve high grades at school.
0:37:21 > 0:37:28'They are also less likely to show delinquent behaviour, or to end up with a criminal record.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32'This is all good news, but fathers have one last key role to play,
0:37:32 > 0:37:38'the hardest of all, when their kids hit the difficult teenage years.'
0:37:46 > 0:37:52As a child moves toward adulthood, the challenge for many dads is how to handle their teenage sons.
0:37:53 > 0:37:59Many men believe that the best place to bond with their child is right here, on the football pitch.
0:37:59 > 0:38:04And it's a place where they can push their children to achieve, a job that they do rather well.
0:38:04 > 0:38:11Fathers are more far likely than mothers to encourage their children to be ambitious and competitive.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16This event has been organised by a group called Dads And Lads,
0:38:16 > 0:38:20to give fathers an opportunity to remain involved in their sons' lives,
0:38:20 > 0:38:22but no longer as the entertainer.
0:38:22 > 0:38:28My dad comes and watches some of my games, and after the game he gives me a good bit of advice.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Sometimes he may criticise how I played,
0:38:30 > 0:38:35but at the end of the day, it's still helping me progress and be a good footballer,
0:38:35 > 0:38:41so hopefully some of the stuff he says could push me into an academy level.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50In the teenage years, a father's role of pushing a child forward
0:38:50 > 0:38:55often involves disciplining them when they've overstepped the mark.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01A dad's more dominating physique naturally gives them the upper hand,
0:39:01 > 0:39:07and explains why mums often rely on the phrase "wait until your father gets home".
0:39:07 > 0:39:09What's more important?
0:39:09 > 0:39:12Being their friend, or being the disciplinarian?
0:39:12 > 0:39:16I try and explain to him that we're not friends as such.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20I am the parent, yeah. Parent first, friend afterwards.
0:39:20 > 0:39:26As he's getting older, you know, what his mum says to him sometimes doesn't get through to him,
0:39:26 > 0:39:28so, yeah, I am the disciplinarian.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31He will listen to me once I give him the look.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36It's a bit of education really,
0:39:36 > 0:39:40so once they know where they've gone wrong and you show them, hopefully they won't do it again.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Keep going, keep going, Joshua. Let's go.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47Even though a man's strength puts him at an advantage as a disciplinarian,
0:39:47 > 0:39:51research shows that fathers are more effective at controlling behaviour
0:39:51 > 0:39:55when they explain their rules to a child, rather than punish them.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00And what's really surprising is, that this is a job they often do better than mums.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Go! Riley!
0:40:07 > 0:40:10'To see this in action, I've come to meet psychologist
0:40:10 > 0:40:13'Professor Jay Belsky, of Birkbeck College London.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20'We've invited two families to take part
0:40:20 > 0:40:25'in a study that should reveal how mothers and fathers discipline their children differently.'
0:40:25 > 0:40:26Please have a seat.
0:40:26 > 0:40:33'First up on the other side of the one-way mirror is mum Lisa and her 16-year-old daughter Danielle.
0:40:33 > 0:40:37'Professor Belsky has asked them to discuss a source of conflict.'
0:40:37 > 0:40:40I know we don't really have many arguments,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44- so I chose phone, because I know you don't like me being on the phone too much.- No.
0:40:44 > 0:40:48So, Jay, tell me, what are you expecting this test to show?
0:40:48 > 0:40:52I think typically what you're going to see with a mother and a daughter,
0:40:52 > 0:40:54or a mother and a son, even,
0:40:54 > 0:41:01is discourse that's more about relationships, about feelings, about consideration of others.
0:41:01 > 0:41:05If I'm texting, you'll be like, "Get off that phone. Come here and do this instead".
0:41:05 > 0:41:09But I do think sometimes when you're on the phone it's a bit rude,
0:41:09 > 0:41:11your sister'll be round, she'll come to visit you,
0:41:11 > 0:41:15so I think you need to not spend so much time...
0:41:15 > 0:41:17I don't realise that I'm doing it.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20It sounded quite reasonable, though, for a teenager.
0:41:20 > 0:41:25And the mother is giving her time and space, she's not cutting her off, not intruding.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27What I don't like about what you do...
0:41:27 > 0:41:31And notice how here, "What I don't like", it's personal, it's relation.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33You're doing something to me.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Not, "You're violating a legal principle, or a rule".
0:41:38 > 0:41:41'Their conversation swiftly moves on to chores.'
0:41:41 > 0:41:43I tell you what you do annoy me about.
0:41:43 > 0:41:47When you're home from school, you don't do nothing.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Mum, it's so much harder.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53When you're at school you don't do nothing, because you look at it as going to work every day.
0:41:53 > 0:41:58And sometimes now I look at you and I think you do do a lot,
0:41:58 > 0:42:04- so I can understand that you don't need to do nothing when you're at home.- Yeah.
0:42:04 > 0:42:09Notice how the mother, in this case, sort of, clearly empathised with the child.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12You could see it in her face. It's like, "I know what you're feeling".
0:42:12 > 0:42:15Then she said, "I understand where you're coming from".
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Mothers are more likely to do it than the average father.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24Hi, thank you very much. We're going to swap Mum and Dad now.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29'Next up is Danielle's dad, Danny, and a conflict that's all too familiar,
0:42:29 > 0:42:31'what his daughter wears.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36'Will he try and understand her point of view?'
0:42:36 > 0:42:37Guess what I chose?
0:42:37 > 0:42:39- Go on.- Clothes.- Clothes, right.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42When I get ready and I come downstairs and you're like,
0:42:42 > 0:42:46"You're not wearing that out", but then, you can't say that.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49I can when it's too revealing, isn't it?
0:42:49 > 0:42:54The first thing he did was he challenged the daughter. He wasn't empathising with her.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57He wasn't understanding where she was coming from. He was posing a challenge.
0:42:57 > 0:43:02- So, a very different style. - He's challenging her. He's disagreeing with her.
0:43:02 > 0:43:08There's no evidence that he's understanding what's being negotiated here is our relationship.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11It's like the other night, I was wearing tights. That's...
0:43:11 > 0:43:14- There's nothing wrong with that. - Yeah, but you had hot pants on.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Yeah, but with tights underneath.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19- You let me go out before... - It depends where you're going.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22Going out as a family, it's different when you go out to parties.
0:43:22 > 0:43:26Say that I'm going to a party next weekend, you'd let me wear them out, yeah?
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Depending what the party was, isn't it?
0:43:28 > 0:43:32See, rational, logical, counter.
0:43:32 > 0:43:33Explain yourself.
0:43:33 > 0:43:37I mean, this could be a dispute or discussion between two attorneys.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39It could indeed.
0:43:39 > 0:43:41Silk tops and everything else, isn't it?
0:43:41 > 0:43:45- "There's places you can go in that outfit, and places you can't."- Rules.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49Next time, just tell me, because you just say no. You'd say, "No, you're not wearing that".
0:43:49 > 0:43:53He seems very different to Mum, as if he's not even going to try and understand her position.
0:43:53 > 0:43:57That's right. This is a matter of his principles, his rules, right or wrong,
0:43:57 > 0:44:02- "You're not going out dressed like that."- And that's it. End of story. - And that is how the world is.
0:44:02 > 0:44:07We have to pay our taxes, we don't like it. We have to stop at the red light even if want to keep going.
0:44:07 > 0:44:12That's the world he's representing. There's a world out there that doesn't care what you're feeling.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18'Next up is a very different family, the Sheths.
0:44:18 > 0:44:24'Will I see similar differences between the parents of 14-year-old Kishan?
0:44:24 > 0:44:28'Before he can even state his complaint, his mother Raj jumps in.'
0:44:28 > 0:44:34And we need to really address the issues of going out a little bit less,
0:44:34 > 0:44:36and spending a little less money.
0:44:36 > 0:44:37So, where is all this money going?
0:44:37 > 0:44:40When I go out with my friends, I do spend money.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43I don't go out that often.
0:44:43 > 0:44:48You say you don't do this often, but you've been going out with friends all week, most of the week.
0:44:48 > 0:44:49- Twice. Twice.- Most of the week.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54I'd like you to just consider that, you know, obviously,
0:44:54 > 0:44:59we've got not just yourself to think about, but your sister as well.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03You have to pull your weight. How about tidying your room up?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05How about helping your sister?
0:45:05 > 0:45:10Well, I think the first thing we saw that was typical about Mum is the appeal to relationships.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14Time with me, time with family, time with relatives.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18- When your uncle comes over and you're on the computer, it's... - I do come down.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21You come down, you say hello, and then you go back up.
0:45:21 > 0:45:24- Ah, so here, come back to relationships.- Yes, family.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28When you're on the computer and somebody comes over to visit us,
0:45:28 > 0:45:31what I would like you to do is turn the computer off,
0:45:31 > 0:45:34come down, and then forget about the computer,
0:45:34 > 0:45:38and wholeheartedly stay there, and give it your 100% there.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40Now, she did say, "What I would like you to do".
0:45:40 > 0:45:43She's appealing to my feelings.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46"I want you to be responsive to my feelings. Be more considerate.
0:45:46 > 0:45:50"Be more considerate of my feelings, your daddy's, your sister's, your uncle's."
0:45:50 > 0:45:54And also, "Are you prepared to work with me?" You know.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58Not, "Are you prepared to follow a principle?" but again, appealing to me.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04'So, what approach will Kishan's dad use to try and change his son's behaviour?'
0:46:04 > 0:46:08The first topic is the use of the computer. I know I use the computer a lot.
0:46:08 > 0:46:15But that doesn't just necessarily mean it's for social networking or gaming. I do, I do a lot of that.
0:46:15 > 0:46:20Every time I've come to your room, you're always on computer.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22During the evenings, but that's when you come back.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24Yeah, but you are on Facebook.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27- OK, but I multitask.- Yeah...
0:46:27 > 0:46:31Say, for example, I'm reading Bitesize for an exam,
0:46:31 > 0:46:34- I would also... - Your Facebook is not...
0:46:34 > 0:46:36My Facebook would be open.
0:46:36 > 0:46:41Yeah, but Facebook is not for education.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43A principle, a rule.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46There's nothing about "I want to spend time with you".
0:46:46 > 0:46:49At the end of the day, there's a limit to how much you can use computer,
0:46:49 > 0:46:52and we have to set boundaries to that.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56'Typical of dads, Manoj doesn't rely on emotional arguments.
0:46:56 > 0:47:01'And the same way I saw with fathers and sons on the football pitch,
0:47:01 > 0:47:06'Manoj is setting clear rules and boundaries to prepare his son for the wider world.'
0:47:06 > 0:47:11These could be partners in a business deciding salary raises,
0:47:11 > 0:47:15or where to make investments, or who's unhappy with that.
0:47:15 > 0:47:20It's all fact, evidence, analytical discourse.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23This father, unknowingly, probably unwittingly,
0:47:23 > 0:47:29is preparing his child nicely for the world, and that use of reason, rationale, logic, analysis,
0:47:29 > 0:47:33should be good for lots of other things besides just, you know,
0:47:33 > 0:47:35trying to get more computer time from your dad.
0:47:37 > 0:47:41'Dads are really important in helping teenagers prepare for the bigger world.
0:47:41 > 0:47:47'A dad's style of discipline teaches a child to deal with the real world they will encounter as an adult.
0:47:50 > 0:47:55'Research confirms that whereas kids look to their mothers for day-to-day care and emotional support,
0:47:55 > 0:47:58'they rely on their dads for factual information.
0:48:00 > 0:48:05'And it's the knowledge of these hard facts that helps prepare them for the adult world.'
0:48:07 > 0:48:13Dads can clearly have a big psychological impact on their adolescent children,
0:48:13 > 0:48:17but what's amazing is that they can also have a biological impact as well,
0:48:17 > 0:48:20especially when it comes to their daughters.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26'And to find out how, I've come to Durham University,
0:48:26 > 0:48:32'to hear about some extraordinary new research from psychologist Dr Lynda Boothroyd.'
0:48:33 > 0:48:35So, Lynda, tell me about your research.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38There's been now a whole slew of studies,
0:48:38 > 0:48:41which have shown that girls who grow up what we call
0:48:41 > 0:48:46"father absent", who for some or all of their childhood don't have their father living with them,
0:48:46 > 0:48:50tend to start their periods six months to a year
0:48:50 > 0:48:56before the girls who actually have their parents both married and happy all the way through their childhood.
0:48:56 > 0:49:00- So puberty's earlier? - Yeah, actually, physically earlier.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04Gosh, that's incredible. Fathers are actually having a biological effect.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08Potentially, yes. And one of the questions I then started asking is,
0:49:08 > 0:49:14if there's one possible biological effect happening at puberty, what else is happening at puberty?
0:49:14 > 0:49:18Can we see other physical changes, for instance in the face?
0:49:19 > 0:49:23Dr Boothroyd took photos of two groups of female students.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26She studied a group of hundreds of girls who'd grown up with their fathers,
0:49:26 > 0:49:31and another group of hundreds of girls whose fathers had been absent.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34'Then, to compare the two groups,
0:49:34 > 0:49:39'Dr Boothroyd created "average faces" from each group.'
0:49:39 > 0:49:45I can use a computer programme to mark out the sort of two-dimensional map of each face,
0:49:45 > 0:49:52and then produce the average that blends together the shape and the colour of all four faces.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56So, what I'm going to do now is I'm going to show you two composite faces.
0:49:56 > 0:50:00The face of women who report that their parents never lived together,
0:50:00 > 0:50:01or separated before they reached puberty.
0:50:01 > 0:50:04The other is a group of girls who said their parents
0:50:04 > 0:50:08remained together and had a very good relationship when they were children.
0:50:08 > 0:50:12And what I want you to tell me is which one looks older?
0:50:12 > 0:50:14- Which one looks older?- Yes.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18- A.- Yeah.
0:50:18 > 0:50:24So, this is the girls who reported that their parents had separated when they were children,
0:50:24 > 0:50:30and who may have been experiencing puberty earlier, and therefore may just look that little bit older.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32That is pretty incredible, isn't it?
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Yeah. I was really struck by it when I first saw it.
0:50:34 > 0:50:39I only did it out of curiosity in the first place, but I was really quite surprised.
0:50:39 > 0:50:44'Dr Boothroyd began to suspect that girls without fathers grow up faster,
0:50:44 > 0:50:46' as a kind of self-defence mechanism.'
0:50:53 > 0:50:56This makes sense when we consider our evolutionary past.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00A girl without a dad would need to secure the protection of another male,
0:51:00 > 0:51:05and to do so, she would need to reach sexual maturity as early as possible.
0:51:07 > 0:51:13Even now, the effect a dad has on the age his daughter reaches puberty is still very important.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Early puberty has been linked to early sexual activity.
0:51:22 > 0:51:27And it seems that a teenage girl is two and a half times more likely to get pregnant
0:51:27 > 0:51:29if her father is not involved in her life.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35Dads clearly have a major effect on their daughters' physical development,
0:51:35 > 0:51:38but I'm about to find out they can also have a huge effect
0:51:38 > 0:51:41on who their daughters choose to marry or live with.
0:51:45 > 0:51:48- Dad, will you help us?- Give us a sec.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51This is Rebecca, and her father Peter.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53She's a typical teenager.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56- Thank you.- What's that like?- Argh!
0:51:59 > 0:52:00As girls mature,
0:52:00 > 0:52:05fathers become increasingly important in how daughters relate to the opposite sex.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12Rebecca is 14, and without even being aware of it,
0:52:12 > 0:52:17her taste in men is being strongly influenced by her father's personality.
0:52:17 > 0:52:18Oh!
0:52:18 > 0:52:20A lot of lads are bit like...
0:52:20 > 0:52:25They love themselves a bit too much, and you think, well, you wouldn't want to be with someone like that.
0:52:25 > 0:52:32I like them who are funny, and have a laugh, like practical jokers as well, like my dad is.
0:52:34 > 0:52:35SHE LAUGHS
0:52:39 > 0:52:44It's probably no surprise her father will influence the type of partner Rebecca picks.
0:52:44 > 0:52:50What is a surprise is that research has shown women marry men who don't just behave like their fathers,
0:52:50 > 0:52:52but also look like their fathers.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54I wondered, could this really be true?
0:52:55 > 0:53:00'Back in Durham, Lynda Boothroyd has designed a test to prove it to me.'
0:53:03 > 0:53:06- Hi.- Hi. Thanks for coming.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10'Dr Boothroyd has asked some married women
0:53:10 > 0:53:12'to bring pictures of their husbands
0:53:12 > 0:53:16'and their fathers when they were at a similar age, so they can be compared.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23'The pictures of the husbands and fathers are cut out and mixed up.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30'In the next part of the experiment,
0:53:30 > 0:53:34'a group of five volunteers will try and spot any resemblances
0:53:34 > 0:53:37'between these women's husbands and their fathers.'
0:53:37 > 0:53:42So, what we have here is a row of women's fathers at the top,
0:53:42 > 0:53:45and a row of women's husbands at the bottom.
0:53:46 > 0:53:50'The volunteers' task is to study the faces of the men,
0:53:50 > 0:53:55'then match the ones of the fathers in the top row to the husbands in the bottom row.'
0:53:57 > 0:53:59- Match away.- Match away!
0:54:08 > 0:54:12'Dr Boothroyd's hypothesis is that when a woman is seeking a husband,
0:54:12 > 0:54:15'she will choose a man who looks like her father,
0:54:15 > 0:54:18'IF she had a good relationship with him when she was growing up.
0:54:20 > 0:54:24'While they match the pictures, I decided to meet the wives,
0:54:24 > 0:54:27'and hear what they thought of their fathers and husbands.'
0:54:27 > 0:54:31- Have your biological parents ever separated?- No.
0:54:31 > 0:54:38How much warmth do you remember from your dad, where nine is a great deal, and one is not so much?
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Where would you put the marker?
0:54:41 > 0:54:44- Nine.- Nine? OK. Do you think your husband looks like your father?
0:54:44 > 0:54:49I don't think he looks like my dad, but I think he's like my dad in lots of mannerisms, yes.
0:54:49 > 0:54:53What do you think about your father and your husband?
0:54:53 > 0:54:55Do you think they're similar?
0:54:55 > 0:54:58- Yes, their characters are very similar.- Can you tell me more?
0:54:58 > 0:55:00- Same sense of humour.- OK.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02- So they get along? - They get along very well, yes.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07'Lynda's ready to look at the results.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12'This is an experiment she's done before on a much larger scale,
0:55:12 > 0:55:15'and today, her findings confirm what she's observed before.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19'The volunteers have correctly matched fathers and husbands
0:55:19 > 0:55:22'significantly more often than they would have done by chance.
0:55:24 > 0:55:28'In all of our cases, the women got on well with their dads.
0:55:30 > 0:55:31'Out of today's pictures,
0:55:31 > 0:55:37'one father and husband pair had such a close resemblance they were correctly matched by everyone.'
0:55:39 > 0:55:44Our strongest match was between the husband and father of a woman
0:55:44 > 0:55:48who had a good relationship with her father throughout her life.
0:55:48 > 0:55:51That definitely fits in with exactly what we predict.
0:55:51 > 0:55:57We can see that they've got very similar-shaped noses, they've got similar jaw lines,
0:55:57 > 0:56:03they both have very flat, quite thick eyebrows in these pictures.
0:56:04 > 0:56:09'What does Dr Boothroyd think is the reason for a woman being attracted to a man who looks like her father?'
0:56:13 > 0:56:16We're not born with a perfect image of "this is a man, this is a woman,
0:56:16 > 0:56:20"this is their faces, and this is who I'm going to marry one day,"
0:56:20 > 0:56:23and so what a father is doing when he's spending time with his children,
0:56:23 > 0:56:29is that he is allowing the child to use his face as a model of what a face should be,
0:56:29 > 0:56:34and to, over time, build up this image of a male face for that child.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38What do you think this is telling you about the important role fathers have?
0:56:38 > 0:56:41They're not just a behavioural role model for their children,
0:56:41 > 0:56:45they're also a physical model, to learn what people look like.
0:56:46 > 0:56:48All the women that I spoke to said
0:56:48 > 0:56:54they had a good relationship with their dads, and they recognised that that relationship was continuing now
0:56:54 > 0:56:57into the couple relationships they were having as adults.
0:56:57 > 0:57:02So, for me, that's fairly conclusive. Women do choose partners that make them feel comfortable,
0:57:02 > 0:57:05and remind them of a relationship that's gone before.
0:57:08 > 0:57:09Hello in there. Hello!
0:57:09 > 0:57:14It's amazing to think that fathers can influence their offspring from before birth,
0:57:14 > 0:57:18right up until the time for them to choose their own partners.
0:57:20 > 0:57:25But more than that, I've seen what fathers can offer that mothers instinctively might not.
0:57:28 > 0:57:32'They promote their children's independence and encourage them to explore,
0:57:32 > 0:57:34'while still setting clear boundaries.'
0:57:36 > 0:57:38Fathers teach their kids
0:57:38 > 0:57:43how to understand and accept the rules of the grown-up world they're about to enter.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49'Every child, like this little girl, is a product of its parents,
0:57:49 > 0:57:54'influenced by both the mother and the father.'
0:57:54 > 0:57:59And when this little girl grows up, her father will provide a model of how men should treat her.
0:57:59 > 0:58:00But what I find extraordinary,
0:58:00 > 0:58:06is how evolution has carefully crafted fathers into the perfect complement for mothers,
0:58:06 > 0:58:09on both a biological and a psychological level.
0:58:29 > 0:58:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:32 > 0:58:35E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk