0:00:02 > 0:00:09THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE
0:00:09 > 0:00:11I'm going to be a traditional surrogate,
0:00:11 > 0:00:14which means that we're using my eggs.
0:00:17 > 0:00:1922-year-old Louise is trying to get pregnant
0:00:19 > 0:00:22for a childless couple she hardly knows.
0:00:22 > 0:00:28I mean, there's a lot of pressure on me to conceive,
0:00:28 > 0:00:30obviously because I'm doing it for someone else.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35I don't feel pressured by it,
0:00:35 > 0:00:42it's just you want so badly to be able to show them a positive pregnancy test.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47You can see it every time they come in,
0:00:47 > 0:00:50where I think there's something there that just...
0:00:50 > 0:00:54they still don't believe that it's actually going to happen for them.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Louise is one of a small but growing number of young women
0:00:58 > 0:01:01who are signing up to be surrogates for infertile couples.
0:01:01 > 0:01:07But as they discover, the reality of giving someone a baby is often a world away from what they imagined.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Ta-da!
0:01:24 > 0:01:2723-year-old Lyndsay is a first-time surrogate.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31She's seven months pregnant for a couple she met through an agency.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35When the other mums ask me, "Are you having a boy or a girl?"
0:01:35 > 0:01:37I very quickly say, "It's a boy."
0:01:39 > 0:01:40It's then, "Are you excited?"
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"I'm excited. It's not mine, though."
0:01:42 > 0:01:45And then they kind of look, "Oh!"
0:01:45 > 0:01:48And the first question is, "Surrogate?"
0:01:48 > 0:01:50It's very, you know...
0:01:52 > 0:01:55..like it's a bad word and it's going to offend me.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03I get the, "Oh, my God, that's amazing. You're awesome!"
0:02:04 > 0:02:07And I go, "Yes, yes, I am! Thank you."
0:02:15 > 0:02:19It's all blown up nice and big now. Is that big like Mummy's tummy?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- What's in Mummy's tummy? - A baby.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24It's a baby! You said it's a baby!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Right, whose baby is it?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I'm not going to be a rocket scientist,
0:02:30 > 0:02:35or cure cancer, or do anything amazingly awesome with my brain.
0:02:35 > 0:02:41To get to the end of my life and think nothing I've done really stands out would really suck.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43You want to have a go?
0:02:43 > 0:02:46And Olivia's my baby, but not this one.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- No.- No.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51What can they put on my headstone, you know?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54"She didn't finish school, she had two kids very young.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57"Might or might not have got round to getting married, you know.
0:02:57 > 0:03:02"Never done anything amazing, but she was a surrogate and she helped a family get started."
0:03:02 > 0:03:07So I figured, that's nice. You know, do something nice for someone.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10That's very naughty! Come here.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Lyndsay didn't use her own eggs to get pregnant.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Instead, she's carrying another couple's embryo.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I don't want to part with my own child,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22and this way that I'm doing it, I don't see it as parting...
0:03:22 > 0:03:26well, I'm not parting with my own child, so it's preferable to me.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31I couldn't have my kids having a half-brother or sister out there somewhere.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33It doesn't sit well with me.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39So I always figured if I was going to do it,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42it was going to be completely, biologically nothing to do with me.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44It was just me being a host...
0:03:47 > 0:03:49..just me being an oven.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53I didn't know about the injections! I should have read more.
0:03:53 > 0:03:58But keeping her body from rejecting a baby that isn't hers requires a cocktail of drugs.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I have to do Gestone injections, 100mg every day,
0:04:04 > 0:04:08so the needles are huge! They're absolutely massive!
0:04:10 > 0:04:15I think that that is a bit big to be going into the muscle of your leg.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16It is just so sore.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Two cones, please.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Right now, I think I've done really well considering, you know,
0:04:22 > 0:04:26all these months have passed and I don't count myself as the mum.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Once the baby's actually here, and out,
0:04:33 > 0:04:38and he's got a face and a personality and, you know,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41he's more than just moving about,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I think the dimensions will change.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47I'll either have to think about it a bit harder,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49or completely detach myself.
0:04:54 > 0:04:5822-year-old Louise lives in Scotland with her ten-month-old son, Sam.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Three months ago,
0:05:01 > 0:05:06a friend introduced her to a couple who had been trying to have a baby for 13 years.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Lin and Dave have been through three cycles of IVF,
0:05:11 > 0:05:13and were ready to give up when they heard about Louise.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19OK, so right now, we have intended father
0:05:19 > 0:05:21is making a sample in the bathroom.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25This is the bathroom. This is where all the baby-making starts.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29It's quite embarrassing, going over to somebody's house
0:05:29 > 0:05:32and having to produce a sample.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Nervous, as well, for the first time when we've done it.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39This is their first attempt this month,
0:05:39 > 0:05:41so it's exciting.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45This is the third time we've been trying, so third time lucky, hopefully.
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Do you use a special medical kit?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51eBay.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56It's an artificial insemination kit.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00It comes with pots and syringes.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04I think we thought, "Thank goodness the envelope never burst open
0:06:04 > 0:06:06"so that the postman never seen what it was!"
0:06:11 > 0:06:14This is us.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Hopefully there's a baby in there this month.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22I love being pregnant. It was just a really joyous experience for me...
0:06:22 > 0:06:28and to be able to go through that...
0:06:30 > 0:06:37..and to be able to give a really deserving couple a baby at the same time is just...
0:06:39 > 0:06:43..it means a lot to me to be able to do that for them.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Dave had actually phoned me at work, and had told me...
0:06:50 > 0:06:54..about this friend of a friend that wanted to be a surrogate.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58How would we feel about that?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02I think that whole afternoon I just sat and I couldn't concentrate on my work
0:07:02 > 0:07:09because I was like, "Does somebody really want to do this for us? Is this for real?" kind of thing.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Very dignified, isn't it?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I think we were mostly worried about the cost...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17..how much it would cost.
0:07:17 > 0:07:23And then, obviously, the "What ifs she doesn't hand the baby over at the end of it?"
0:07:23 > 0:07:26I think that was another worry for us.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I'm very aware that this is their baby.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37I wouldn't be going into this if I didn't think that I'd be able to separate myself...
0:07:39 > 0:07:42..from being the mother figure to this child.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50Finding Louise through a friend means Lin and Dave don't pay an agency to match them up,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54and Louise has accepted bare minimum expenses.
0:07:54 > 0:08:01I don't agree that people should have to pay a lot of money to get a baby.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I mean, babies are expensive in their own right.
0:08:05 > 0:08:11To make them pay for their own kids is extortion,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13and I don't agree with it.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Shannon is two weeks off her 21st birthday.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Two weeks too young to be a surrogate in the UK.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28"Her crocodile voice made them shiver."
0:08:29 > 0:08:33But she's already found her ideal couple through an agency.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38The agency will make sure she receives expenses to cover pregnancy costs, but no more,
0:08:38 > 0:08:42as it's illegal to profit from surrogacy in the UK.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45The photo that they had at the top of the application...
0:08:45 > 0:08:48I mean, it was just so informal.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51They looked like a happy couple,
0:08:51 > 0:08:57and they looked like the type of carefree, energetic people that would be able to cope well with a baby.
0:08:57 > 0:09:03They wanted, or they've offered, as much contact as we want,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06and they want to be there all the way through pregnancy, which is great.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I mean, it's exactly what you want.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15You don't want to feel like you're pregnant with somebody else's child who's not really interested.
0:09:19 > 0:09:24Kiera, any toys that you're not playing with, sweetheart, they need to go upstairs.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Shannon's arranged a first date with a couple she's chosen.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37If all goes well, it could be the start of a long relationship.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Oh, God, what is that?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46They're going to come in, look at the chair, and say, "That's filthy! We're not doing it."
0:09:46 > 0:09:52So today is all about whether they think I'm good enough to carry their baby, really.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Want to lock the door and hide upstairs?- Yeah!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Not good!
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I'm just scared they won't like me.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03They'll see the house and they'll be like, "Ew, right, we're going."
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Come on, help Mummy.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Come on, we've got to tidy up, keep it clean.
0:10:09 > 0:10:15They're both doctors, so I'd imagine they've got this huge house and loads of space,
0:10:15 > 0:10:20and they'll walk in here and it's a bit like, "Yeah, it's tiny!"
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Oh, God, this makes you impatient in itself, just looking out the window.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Like, "Pull up, pull up! Don't pull up! No, don't!"
0:10:30 > 0:10:31I'm not ready. Oh, God!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Oh, God!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I feel like pacing.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Ugh, what time is it?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44I'm really nervous now.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I just don't want them to come here and speak and stuff,
0:10:49 > 0:10:53and think that I'm just an ignorant young woman sort of thing.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- MAN:- Hello.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Oh, wow!
0:11:09 > 0:11:10It went really well.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12I thought they'd be quite...
0:11:12 > 0:11:14is "aloof" the right word?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Sort of very distant.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23But they weren't. They were really down-to-earth, nice people, and it was really good.
0:11:23 > 0:11:28They had a cuppa, and we had a chat, and sort of had a laugh and a joke, and it was really great.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Yeah, and she says she wants to meet up...
0:11:32 > 0:11:36Well, that they want to meet up again in a week, so I was like, "Yay!"
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Yeah, it was really good.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Louise has been trying to get pregnant with Dave's sperm for three months now.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53Every month, she, Lin and Dave get together for a pregnancy test.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55We're not getting our hopes up at all.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59It's the waiting game that's the hardest thing.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02You know, it could work this month.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04It could work six months.
0:12:04 > 0:12:10But whatever Louise is willing to try. As long as it takes.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I don't think I'm young to be a surrogate.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23This is like the prime of my fertile life!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27This is it!
0:12:27 > 0:12:29It doesn't get any easier than this now.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Afterwards, it will be more difficult for me to be able to be a surrogate.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36It will be more difficult for me to conceive as I get older.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39If I was ever going to do it, it would be now.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43I haven't finished having my children. I'll have more children of my own after this.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Really anxious.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Dying to know the result of it.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Sleepless nights.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Nervous. Oh, yeah.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I've put it in here. Two minutes.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Two minutes too long.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Longest two minutes of my life!
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I'm excited, but I'm apprehensive at the same time...
0:13:50 > 0:13:52..because you don't know how they're going to react.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55As long as its happy tears, I don't mind.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59If it's, "Oh, my God, what have I done?" tears...
0:14:03 > 0:14:07- Two lines!- Two lines!
0:14:07 > 0:14:08You're joking.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Oh, my God!
0:14:09 > 0:14:1113 years waiting.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12I know.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14God, I actually feel like greetin'.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Don't cry!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Oh, dear!
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Happy tears?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Aye. Oh, definitely.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Definitely not unhappy tears.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30There it is!
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Come here!
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- Come here!- Family hug!
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Lyndsay's difficult pregnancy has forced her to go part-time at work.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59So the intended parents have offered her close to the maximum expenses of £10,000.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Wash your teeth!
0:15:01 > 0:15:06It's been tough because we've been used to having a certain amount coming in every month,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08to make sure we can cover things.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Basics, you know,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13gas, leccy, food.
0:15:13 > 0:15:18And every month we've been short since I've been pregnant and had to go down to part-time.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Takes away the altruism, as well,
0:15:20 > 0:15:26when you've got to actually start taking, you know, expenses and stuff from the couple.
0:15:27 > 0:15:34I mean, I'm no better off, but I don't like asking for it at the same time.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35It's very uncomfortable.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42At 32 weeks, Lyndsay's finally off the anti-rejection drugs.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But her lack of biological link to the baby is making itself known in other ways.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50I do have a long-running joke with everyone that it's a teenager already,
0:15:50 > 0:15:54and it's going, "You're not my mum! Bleugh!" and making me feel sick.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56I told the parents.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00I was like, "I hate you! I can't eat cheese any more. I've just been sick again,"
0:16:00 > 0:16:03and it turns out the dad doesn't like cheese.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07Dev doesn't like cheese at all, doesn't like anything that tastes good!
0:16:07 > 0:16:09He has pizza without cheese. What's wrong with you?!
0:16:20 > 0:16:23With just six weeks to go before Lyndsay hands the baby over,
0:16:23 > 0:16:26the intended parents are filling up their time...
0:16:26 > 0:16:27and the nursery.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29The other thing...
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I know you don't think, necessarily, that we'd need one,
0:16:32 > 0:16:37but I was looking at getting one of the sort of room temperature things,
0:16:37 > 0:16:41because you're supposed to help keep an eye on whether it's too hot or too cold.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43That's completely up to you.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47I have had some surprised looks
0:16:47 > 0:16:49especially when you're out shopping,
0:16:49 > 0:16:52and you're saying, "Oh, well, I need to have it because
0:16:52 > 0:16:54"baby's due in two or three weeks,"
0:16:54 > 0:16:59and the eyes go down, and then come back up and go, "Pardon?!"
0:17:01 > 0:17:06Joy and Dev had been trying for a baby for seven years and exhausted every fertility treatment.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Lyndsay was the first surrogate they contacted.
0:17:12 > 0:17:18I think it was the second file I read was Joy and Dev's. That was what I got through.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23That was the second one I read out of my batch of four that I had to choose.
0:17:24 > 0:17:30And I looked at them, and then it got to the infertility and clinical diagnosis part,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and that's the bit I started getting really emotional.
0:17:33 > 0:17:39It's like every attempt that she's tried to get pregnant herself failed, failed, failed.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41And that just totally killed me.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44We've been disappointed now,
0:17:44 > 0:17:47six, seven times,
0:17:47 > 0:17:49so we don't think about it.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52You do put a lot of emotional safeguards in place,
0:17:52 > 0:17:55and you don't let yourself think about things.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59You don't let yourself plan because you can't afford to.
0:17:59 > 0:18:06Because if it then fails, or you don't get very far, then it hurts two, three times as much.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Shortly after Lyndsay received their file, they had another set-back.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Joy was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18"Now I need to start chemotherapy.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23"After treatment, I will have a 90% chance of survival, though. We caught the cancer early."
0:18:23 > 0:18:27The fact that she's had to write that down, just so no-one discounts her,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29because I know that's why she wrote it.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34It's obvious. No-one's going to want to have a baby for someone that might die.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39It was just one thing after another, and I thought, "Someone's got to give these two a break,"
0:18:39 > 0:18:42so I gave them a break.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Since getting pregnant four months ago,
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Louise has seen very little of Lin and Dave.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57My mum's convinced I'm having a girl.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01My mum's convinced it's going to be a girl,
0:19:01 > 0:19:06because I've just been wanting to eat chocolate all the time, and I'm not really a big chocolate eater.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Do you know, it's funny, I've been telling people this for the past couple of weeks.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I do not feel pregnant.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14I just feel under the weather.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I feel ill, like I've got the man flu or something!
0:19:19 > 0:19:23I'm just sleeping all the time,
0:19:23 > 0:19:25and sweaty and roasting one minute, cold the next.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29My feet are sore. My back's sore.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32But I don't feel pregnant.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37With Sam I loved it. I loved being ill because it meant something.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39And this time, I'm just ill.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40Just like, "Give me a break!
0:19:42 > 0:19:46"Can I please just have one cup of tea without it coming back on me?!"
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Today is a rare occasion for Louise, Lin and Dave to get together.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56It's Louise's 20-week scan.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57That is...
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Is that part of your insides maybe?
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Maybe it is, yeah.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05It's maybe a bit of the umbilical cord, actually.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Now, are you looking for a resemblance to your son?
0:20:08 > 0:20:13Yeah, I was having a wee look, to see if I could see any.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15This is your cousin. "Hi, cousin."
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Hi, cousin.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Feel that.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Ah, look at its wee nose.
0:20:22 > 0:20:27- Don't remember being this happy since we got married.- Ah, cheese.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- Can you feel the kind of weight shifting about?- Uhuh.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35That's the baby's head.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42That's amazing, it really is.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Well, I mean, I knew that I couldn't be the biological mother,
0:20:47 > 0:20:49um...
0:20:49 > 0:20:52but just the fact that Dave's the biological father...
0:20:54 > 0:20:58..means so much to us that it's half of ours,
0:20:58 > 0:21:00although the baby will be ours,
0:21:00 > 0:21:05but biologically Dave is going to be the father,
0:21:05 > 0:21:11I mean, at the end of the day, we just want this tiny baby so desperately
0:21:11 > 0:21:15so this is a way where we'll have a tiny baby.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20So, yeah, I'm happy about it.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Let's make a start, OK?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28So what we do is get everything prepared first.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31All your toiletry stuff you need - clean nappies...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Just four weeks before the baby is due,
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Joy has finally finished her cancer treatment,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39and she can begin to look forward to the birth.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Yes, that's right, yeah, brilliant.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46We lift the baby up, support it through the neck.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50That's right, brilliant, excellent, yeah.
0:21:50 > 0:21:56I do think about, you know, literally him being passed to me
0:21:56 > 0:22:00and, yes, it is about sort of bringing him close to me
0:22:00 > 0:22:05and letting him smell me, and sort of feel my skin,
0:22:05 > 0:22:07and being able to feel his skin.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12I'm very much hoping that because I will be the first person he comes to,
0:22:12 > 0:22:13he won't know any different,
0:22:13 > 0:22:19he won't realise that it's not the person that's actually been carrying him.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I want to make sure I look professional.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25You've done absolutely amazing.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28As I said, the baby's do pick up on it,
0:22:28 > 0:22:29they like you to be confident.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Yeah, they do, yeah.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I managed to do skin to skin with both of mine for ages,
0:22:35 > 0:22:39and I still feel it, you know, with them when I look at them.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42It's embedded within me
0:22:42 > 0:22:48so I need to avoid that with this one because I can't afford to be, you know,
0:22:48 > 0:22:52emotionally connected to it, if I've managed to avoid it all this time...
0:22:53 > 0:22:58..I'd like to avoid it with this one because it's not mine, he's not mine.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Hello. Come in.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Time is running out to get the hospital on board with the birth plan.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Both parties are anxious about one detail in particular.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Who gets the first cuddle.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14When the baby's born, he must be immediately handed
0:23:14 > 0:23:18to Joy or Dev, whoever's physically closest.
0:23:18 > 0:23:24- Yeah, I mean it's a question of it being handed straight...- Yeah, that's...- ..without you...
0:23:24 > 0:23:27I just think that a midwife will do exactly what a midwife does
0:23:27 > 0:23:32on every other occasion and just naturally hand it,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34because that's what they do.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39I told Carol I'm taking away the option of...
0:23:39 > 0:23:43having a water birth so I don't have to be the one handed to the baby.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47I said make it clear on my notes, make it clear,
0:23:47 > 0:23:50get it down as quickly as possible, clip it and move it.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Just don't let me even, you know, touch him until he's been wrapped up and handed to Mummy.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- Make sure the nurses and midwives are all well...- Well aware.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Well aware, because force of habit could cause one of them to...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Just accidentally throw it on, yeah.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06I'll just have to keep shouting, "It's not mine! Hand it over!"
0:24:06 > 0:24:08"It's ours, pass him here!"
0:24:14 > 0:24:16This is my favourite place.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22On a really nice day, it's really, really pretty.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29This is where I come to...
0:24:31 > 0:24:34..have a wee chat to myself,
0:24:34 > 0:24:38sort things through in my head, if I'm confused about anything or upset about anything,
0:24:38 > 0:24:42I'll come up and maybe have a cry from time to time.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46There's definitely a part of me that feels like I don't have...
0:24:47 > 0:24:52..someone else there or have anyone else that's ever been through this before
0:24:52 > 0:24:58to speak to, kind of chat about it, it'd be nice.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00You know, what comes next?
0:25:02 > 0:25:06At what point does the baby start being a baby?
0:25:08 > 0:25:12I had my 20-week scan this morning and I still don't feel pregnant.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16I can see the baby on the screen and I can feel it kicking
0:25:16 > 0:25:20but it's not my baby. I just don't have any attachment to it at all
0:25:20 > 0:25:24and I don't suppose that's a bad thing given the circumstances,
0:25:24 > 0:25:26but it's still a baby.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31I want to know at what point it kicks in and when it does kick in,
0:25:31 > 0:25:36what kind of reaction, what kind of knock-on effect does it have?
0:25:38 > 0:25:42It's surreal, it's a really surreal experience.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46It's the most surreal thing I've ever done.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I've been doing Anne Summers now for five and a half years
0:25:55 > 0:25:58and I absolutely love my job because I love sex.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- I do, mate. - Yeah, it's fantastic, isn't it?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Right, so first of all I would like to say a big,
0:26:04 > 0:26:06big happy birthday to Shannon.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Shannon is finally old enough to be a surrogate.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13THEY SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16But she's discovering the intended parents she chose
0:26:16 > 0:26:18are not as ideal as she thought.
0:26:18 > 0:26:25I wasn't getting any telephone calls and sort of an email every sort of five or six days.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29I was asking how exams were going, what work was like,
0:26:29 > 0:26:34what sort of things they were getting up to, what the family think, things like that.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38I wasn't getting a reply to it, like they weren't willing to let me in,
0:26:38 > 0:26:41they wanted me there to carry the baby and stay out of my life,
0:26:41 > 0:26:43and I was getting that vibe, and I didn't want that.
0:26:43 > 0:26:48It'd be really disappointing at the end of nine months
0:26:48 > 0:26:51to feel, "Oh, my God, I don't want to do that again, ever."
0:26:51 > 0:26:57And never, like, hear from them again and just think...
0:26:57 > 0:27:01yeah, just to regret it. I don't want to regret it, I want to make...yeah...
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I want to make myself feel like, yeah, I've done something good
0:27:06 > 0:27:09and I've come out of it actually quite happy and yeah...
0:27:09 > 0:27:11I don't know if I'm making sense.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15I just want to make friends, maybe that's a better way to say it,
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I just want to be friends with people and not used,
0:27:18 > 0:27:20I don't want to come out of it sobbing,
0:27:20 > 0:27:24because I've just been through pregnancy, haven't got a baby, thinking,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27"Actually, they've just used me." And then feel down about that as well.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30So yeah, that's about it.
0:27:48 > 0:27:53I'd love to actually go through the whole pregnancy experience,
0:27:53 > 0:27:56to actually feel the changes because it does form an important
0:27:56 > 0:28:03part of the bonding process, so I do miss that.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09I do look at Lyndsay and it is kind of like an extension of me,
0:28:09 > 0:28:15you know, she's doing it for me, she's having the expansion
0:28:15 > 0:28:21and having the feelings and the tests for me and she does the best that she can
0:28:21 > 0:28:23to, sort of, pass things on to me
0:28:23 > 0:28:26so that I can try and get a sense of the pregnancy.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30This is the good part, this is the bit that I can actually really associate with
0:28:30 > 0:28:35when I can start to hear his little heart beat going,
0:28:35 > 0:28:40and last time we did this, he gave the sensor a good kick.
0:28:40 > 0:28:45He was like, "No, I don't want to. Leave me alone, get out of my way."
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Oops, am I sitting on your chair?
0:28:58 > 0:29:01CHILDREN CHATTER
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Oh, is the baby moving?
0:29:04 > 0:29:06In the last weeks of her pregnancy,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Lyndsay's spending as much time as she can with Joy and Dev.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14What's occurring, baby?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17The baby's getting ready to come out.
0:29:17 > 0:29:22I feel more pregnant now than I have even with my own two.
0:29:24 > 0:29:31I dunno, more because it's the waiting to hand it over,
0:29:31 > 0:29:33rather than waiting to bring a baby home,
0:29:33 > 0:29:39the only thing I've got to look forward to is to try and get my body back, trying to get exercise in.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48I mean, it is hard, it's getting to that point now when I'm like,
0:29:48 > 0:29:50"Gosh."
0:29:50 > 0:29:52You see, you know, like, at the supermarket,
0:29:52 > 0:29:56and you see the little new-born babies in their prams and the trolleys,
0:29:56 > 0:30:00and everyone's kind of looking and say, "Oh, how young, you know, how cute are they."
0:30:00 > 0:30:05And I think, "Gosh, I'm not going to get that part now, that proud moment at the end."
0:30:05 > 0:30:07But it's all right. It's weird.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09I don't know how I feel about it yet.
0:30:13 > 0:30:14Hello.
0:30:16 > 0:30:1928 weeks into her pregnancy,
0:30:19 > 0:30:21Louise has finally found an outlet for her concerns.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26She has started an online blog about her growing bump.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28And her growing feelings towards it.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31I do a lot of talking about this pregnancy.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34It's good to catch up with other people
0:30:34 > 0:30:37that are at the same point in their pregnancies as you.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40You do get somewhat attached to the baby...
0:30:42 > 0:30:50..in a way, and the baby's moving about a lot, and...
0:30:50 > 0:30:55beginning to wonder what the baby's going to look like
0:30:55 > 0:31:00and it's very easy to get that kind of bond going,
0:31:00 > 0:31:02that kind of attachment.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04It becomes confusing in your head.
0:31:04 > 0:31:10When my gran was dying, it got a bit confusing for me.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14And the idea that this baby...
0:31:16 > 0:31:17..could be a girl...
0:31:19 > 0:31:22..upset me quite a bit,
0:31:22 > 0:31:26I was really quite distraught over it because I thought...
0:31:30 > 0:31:33..you know, I could be giving away my gran's only great-granddaughter.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Louise is going for a private scan
0:31:41 > 0:31:43so Lin and Dave can get a better look at the baby.
0:31:43 > 0:31:47They're hoping the images will make a nice addition to their Christmas cards.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56THEY SIGH
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Ah...
0:32:02 > 0:32:07Oh, that's definitely Dave's nose, isn't that?
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Well, it's definitely not mine and I'd worry if it was anybody else's.
0:32:12 > 0:32:17Oh, God, look at that. That's like, "Peek, hiya."
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Peekaboo.
0:32:19 > 0:32:23Oh, that is just so amazing,
0:32:23 > 0:32:27that that's inside you like that,
0:32:27 > 0:32:30honestly, it's just...
0:32:30 > 0:32:33God.
0:32:39 > 0:32:44I mean, I look at that baby and I think of it as my baby.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46OK, it's not my body,
0:32:46 > 0:32:49but even though it's not biologically mine,
0:32:49 > 0:32:54it's still, I mean, I've bought the stuff for it
0:32:54 > 0:32:57and it's like still exciting.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01I mean, I don't feel less... I don't know.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04Sometimes I would say it gets frustrating for me
0:33:04 > 0:33:07because I'm missing out on the baby kicking
0:33:07 > 0:33:12and you know, I will never know what that feels like to experience that,
0:33:12 > 0:33:15but it's still my baby.
0:33:18 > 0:33:25Oh, yeah, she told me that she's doing Bailey's jelly shots now.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Shannon's broken off all contact with the first intended parents she met.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32But a few weeks after her 21st birthday,
0:33:32 > 0:33:37she's already in a relationship with a new couple.
0:33:37 > 0:33:42I've met a couple, I don't know whether they're THE couple yet, but...
0:33:44 > 0:33:46They're sort of really nice, so yeah, maybe.
0:33:47 > 0:33:54I don't think I'm going to be doing any of the asking. If they like me, then hopefully they'll say so.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Shannon was initially against using her own eggs,
0:33:58 > 0:34:01but this couple are asking her to be a traditional surrogate,
0:34:01 > 0:34:04so she's talking it through with her partner, Trevor.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08It's going to be half genetically Shannon's, half VIF.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11It's just going to be...
0:34:11 > 0:34:15different to what we were first thinking, wasn't it, babe?
0:34:15 > 0:34:21You do worry, you worry, don't you, that...I mean, I don't want him...
0:34:21 > 0:34:24My biggest worry is I don't want him to feel totally repulsed by me
0:34:24 > 0:34:26because I'm carrying another guy's sperm
0:34:26 > 0:34:28and then another guy's baby in me.
0:34:28 > 0:34:33That's the only concern I've got throughout the whole thing, I don't want him to totally go off me.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35It will be a very weird thought.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37I think when you think about it like that.
0:34:37 > 0:34:41When you think about it like that, it's very strange...
0:34:41 > 0:34:43But when you think I'm actually just holding their baby.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Yeah, it's like you're just carrying their baby.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51I think if I'd actually had sex with the guy,
0:34:51 > 0:34:57that would have been weird, the fact that nothing really untoward's happened.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00- You've just like, yeah... you can deal with it.- Yeah.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06I don't want to sound crude, but do you know that feeling that you get after sex,
0:35:06 > 0:35:12that sort of that blissful "oh, my God, there's nothing in the world that could go wrong" feeling?
0:35:15 > 0:35:19You sort of, after you've had a baby, you're holding them in your arms
0:35:19 > 0:35:25and you look down at them and it's like, "I've got my baby, nothing can go wrong."
0:35:25 > 0:35:28And it happens the first time and the second time you hold your baby
0:35:28 > 0:35:31and it's like you've got the world in your hands.
0:35:31 > 0:35:36To give that feeling to someone else, and to sit there and be able to watch it...
0:35:38 > 0:35:44..that's amazing. That's what I'll get out of it, knowing that I did that.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52SHE GROANS IN AGONY
0:35:52 > 0:35:53At the last minute,
0:35:53 > 0:35:57Lindsay, Joy and Dev have decided that a home birth is the best way to make sure
0:35:57 > 0:35:59everyone sticks to the birth plan.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04And Lyndsay's partner Alan is there to help as well.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06LINDSAY SCREAMS IN PAIN
0:36:06 > 0:36:08This is the hard part.
0:36:08 > 0:36:14LINDSAY CONTINUES SCREAMING
0:36:14 > 0:36:16SHE GROANS IN AGONY
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Good girl, you are doing so well.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25It's OK, it's OK. We're doing really well,
0:36:25 > 0:36:27or, in fact, YOU'RE doing really well.
0:36:27 > 0:36:33- I'm doing really well. You're just sitting there.- I know, it was a slip of the tongue.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39I wish the baby could just slip out with no problem, that would be brilliant.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44When are you going to go up?
0:36:45 > 0:36:47When things are tidied away.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50LINDSAY SCREAMS IN PAIN
0:36:50 > 0:36:51When it's safe to do so.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56I don't want to push any more.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59You don't have to push just yet, I want you to breathe.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02No, I mean, full stop, like no more.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06- Oh, you don't want to do it now. - No, I changed my mind.
0:37:06 > 0:37:07Fair enough.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12There's only one problem - I don't think we can go back now.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26With only weeks to go before the baby is due,
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Louise's health has taken a dramatic turn for the worse,
0:37:28 > 0:37:32and she's stopped sharing her feelings online.
0:37:32 > 0:37:39This pregnancy has been hell on earth compared to my pregnancy with my wee boy.
0:37:49 > 0:37:54This is designed to help lift the weight of the baby.
0:37:56 > 0:38:03Up out of my pelvis so that it isn't as heavy.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08My...
0:38:08 > 0:38:10pelvis is slightly displaced.
0:38:12 > 0:38:15And I struggle to walk because of it.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21I struggle to do pretty much anything because of it.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24And they've given me crutches to wear.
0:38:26 > 0:38:31I'm housebound. My wee boy is 18 months now
0:38:31 > 0:38:36and I can't leave the house without having somebody with me because I have to be on crutches
0:38:36 > 0:38:38and I can't push his pram.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42And I can't get down on the floor to play with him.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Without sounding too whingy about it,
0:38:48 > 0:38:51this whole pregnancy's been a bit of a nightmare.
0:38:51 > 0:38:57I'm doing all of this and I'm not, I'M not really getting anything out of it.
0:38:59 > 0:39:04I mean, it's great, nice warm fuzzy feelings that I'm doing something really nice for somebody else,
0:39:04 > 0:39:08but when you begin to see all the things that you've missed out on,
0:39:08 > 0:39:11I mean, it's nearly a year, at the end of the day, pregnancy is nearly a year.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21It's just been a lot of hassle
0:39:21 > 0:39:24and I always go by the light at the end of the tunnel.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28But the light at the end of tunnel for this for me is to not be pregnant any more.
0:39:28 > 0:39:29When things go wrong,
0:39:29 > 0:39:32it's you that's left with nothing...
0:39:32 > 0:39:39apart from all of the physical pain and the emotional pain and everything else,
0:39:39 > 0:39:43and it's...sometimes it can be a hard one to get your head around.
0:39:46 > 0:39:51And being heavily pregnant and hormonal doesn't help and I do have a good cry about it sometimes.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55I mean, it's sad.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56Surrogacy can be quite sad.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00And I don't think people really understand that.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09Go on, go on. Push hard, you can do it, go on.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12- No, I can't! - Yes, you can!
0:40:12 > 0:40:13Come on, Lyndsay.
0:40:13 > 0:40:14LYNDSAY GROANS
0:40:15 > 0:40:18- Please kill me. - No, not going to do that.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20LYNDSAY SCREAMS
0:40:20 > 0:40:21Get it out!
0:40:21 > 0:40:24SHE CONTINUES SCREAMING
0:40:24 > 0:40:25Breathe.
0:40:25 > 0:40:29- Dev, in here now! - I can see, don't worry, I can see.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31Dev, get in here!
0:40:31 > 0:40:35Good girl and a little tiny push for me,
0:40:35 > 0:40:38a little push, good girl.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Fuckin' yank it out, I don't care.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41All right. And a little push.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43LYNDSAY SCREAMS LOUDLY
0:40:43 > 0:40:48Breathe the gas, breathe the gas, breathe the gas.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51- Lyndsay, the head is through. - The head's out,
0:40:51 > 0:40:55he's coming, his heads out, his arm, one arm's out.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57Get the fuckin' rest of it out!
0:40:57 > 0:40:59There we go, there we go...
0:40:59 > 0:41:00LYNDSAY SCREAMS
0:41:00 > 0:41:03There we go, he's out, he's out.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Here, clock the time of birth somebody.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07Oh, there's a boy.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10We were waiting to do that.
0:41:10 > 0:41:11BABY SQUEALS
0:41:11 > 0:41:14We were waiting for that squeal.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Oh, no, what are you doing to me?
0:41:16 > 0:41:20It's a first surrogacy birth for the midwives.
0:41:20 > 0:41:24And for Joy and Dev, it's the first time everything has gone right.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27I just need to know he's OK.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29Oh..
0:41:29 > 0:41:32Here you come, little man.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35Is that better, is that better?
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Is this your mummy?
0:41:37 > 0:41:40Do you like the warm skin?
0:41:40 > 0:41:43You're gorgeous.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46Are you my gorgeous little boy?
0:41:46 > 0:41:52I don't know how you can express, you know,
0:41:52 > 0:41:57what you feel for somebody who's managed to do this for you
0:41:57 > 0:41:58when you can't do it yourself.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03There aren't any words to express it.
0:42:03 > 0:42:09She's been absolutely fantastic and given me something that I'd have never had.
0:42:18 > 0:42:19You all right, Joy?
0:42:19 > 0:42:20Yeah.
0:42:20 > 0:42:21Or should I say "Mum"?
0:42:21 > 0:42:23Congratulations, Joy.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Yeah.
0:42:25 > 0:42:26You all right, Mum?
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Wow, look at that!
0:42:28 > 0:42:31Gorgeous skin, I wonder where we got that from.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35That'll be daddy's skin if you've got good skin.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Aw, all right, cutie, how's it going?
0:42:39 > 0:42:43Nice and alert. See, this is why I don't use the drugs other than the gas and air,
0:42:43 > 0:42:47no matter how much I complain, it's worth it when you see a nice, alert baby.
0:42:51 > 0:42:52Thank you.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58- Thank you.- You're all right.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01- Hey, it's what I do. Apparently. - Yeah.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06Hello.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11I don't feel, you know, like I should be holding him
0:43:11 > 0:43:13or feeding him or anything so that's good.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16- Good.- I'm just chuffed with myself it's done now.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Yeah, you're chuffed it's over.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21- I'm chuffed it's over.- Yes.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25Tell you what, though, you forget that blooming pain, don't you, till it comes and gets you.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29Welcome to the world, little man.
0:43:31 > 0:43:33Welcome to the world.
0:43:37 > 0:43:42I'm going to go into the other room and give you guys some peace in a bit just as soon as I can stand up.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59With only days to go before Louise is due to give birth,
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Lin has been putting some final touches to her nest.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09This was the new addition that we bought yesterday,
0:44:09 > 0:44:13because we thought it was going to be a kind of wintery baby so...
0:44:13 > 0:44:16it's like a little scarf.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19We've got this as a wee comforter.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21Hangers.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25PLAYS ROCK-A-BYE BABY
0:44:25 > 0:44:28The only thing is I don't have the bump.
0:44:28 > 0:44:32A lot of people will say that's a good thing.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37There's probably loads of people out there that have had babies
0:44:37 > 0:44:42but didn't like the whole pregnancy thing and the giving birth and everything.
0:44:43 > 0:44:47And I'm sure celebrities do that,
0:44:47 > 0:44:50some celebrities have a surrogate
0:44:50 > 0:44:55for having families rather than ruining their figure.
0:44:57 > 0:44:58That's another...
0:44:58 > 0:45:04PLAYS TUNE
0:45:09 > 0:45:13How am I going to feel towards the baby once it's actually here?
0:45:13 > 0:45:18Am I going to see that little baby as my child?
0:45:18 > 0:45:25Or am I going to see it as my special wee gift that I'm giving to my friends to raise?
0:45:25 > 0:45:29You know, this is their baby. Or am I going to see this baby as my baby that I'm just giving away?
0:45:32 > 0:45:36With the idea in your head, when you're thinking about it
0:45:36 > 0:45:40and nothing's happening, that's the killer, see, just waiting,
0:45:40 > 0:45:45and being unsure about how you're going to handle something emotionally.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55To be quite honest, I think having tried for so many years
0:45:55 > 0:46:00and not managed to have a baby, and, you know, always been wanting a baby,
0:46:00 > 0:46:04wanting a baby, am I ever going to have a baby?
0:46:04 > 0:46:10I don't know, this is an odd feeling that, you know, after waiting for quite such a long time
0:46:10 > 0:46:13that it can't actually be real.
0:46:13 > 0:46:17I must be being just sort of lent a baby,
0:46:17 > 0:46:21lent a baby and go, "There you go, you've had a go at being a mum,
0:46:21 > 0:46:24"we'll take him away again now."
0:46:24 > 0:46:27But, no, you're all mine, aren't you?
0:46:27 > 0:46:34I'm going to keep you forever. Nobody's going to take you away.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36CHATTER
0:46:36 > 0:46:41Thomas has been living the first four months of his life with Joy and Dev.
0:46:41 > 0:46:46But legally, Lyndsay is still his parent until the court awards them full custody.
0:46:48 > 0:46:53Because Lyndsay and myself went on the birth certificate,
0:46:53 > 0:46:58so we, between us, have the parental responsibility for Tom,
0:46:58 > 0:47:03today we'll be taking Lyndsay from the birth certificate
0:47:03 > 0:47:08and replacing her with daddy, with Dev.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11You'll see the smiles stop in a minute.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13The smiles will stop.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16You'll be losing a child, Dev's gaining a child
0:47:16 > 0:47:18and I'm just keeping the one I've got.
0:47:18 > 0:47:19LYNDSAY LAUGHS
0:47:19 > 0:47:24I think I've to stand up and as kindly as possible say,
0:47:24 > 0:47:27"I do not wish to have this child,"
0:47:27 > 0:47:31without sounding like a heartless bitch.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34Relinquish control to the crazies to the left of me.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39You're sneaky, you are. you're very sneaky.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43If you need more sprogs,
0:47:43 > 0:47:47at least I know what the case is and I'll be like, "I'll think about it."
0:47:47 > 0:47:51I've given up about that joke about moving, because yous'll only find me.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Would you like a little sister at some stage, Tom?
0:47:54 > 0:47:59It's just Lyndsay's going to get a shock because she'll end up carrying twins next time.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02And she'll go, "Oh, no, what did I sign up for this time?"
0:48:02 > 0:48:04And you're just so cute,
0:48:04 > 0:48:09but the idea of the two of them being in there fills me with a dread that can only be recovered with gin.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19It is true, though, when he was about six, eight weeks,
0:48:19 > 0:48:21I did look at him and go
0:48:21 > 0:48:24"I don't want him to be the only one. I want to do it again."
0:48:24 > 0:48:26And I thought, "You're a lunatic."
0:48:26 > 0:48:30Well, give me a year, and then...and then call me.
0:48:30 > 0:48:31Yes.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35So do you think in a year or two when Lyndsay's recovered,
0:48:35 > 0:48:39she might give you a little brother or sister? Do you think so?
0:48:39 > 0:48:40I do.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44So, congratulations. Do yous feel any different?
0:48:44 > 0:48:47- No.- Do you feel any different?- No.
0:48:50 > 0:48:51Now it's just done.
0:48:53 > 0:48:58After a very short labour, Louise gave birth to baby Jack.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01She asked that the birth not be filmed.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04It's a kinda weird experience.
0:49:04 > 0:49:10I just kept trying to pinch myself and think, "Is this really happening,
0:49:10 > 0:49:13"this day that I never thought would come?"
0:49:15 > 0:49:16And it has.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21My special boy, aren't you?
0:49:21 > 0:49:24The midwives wanted...
0:49:27 > 0:49:31..to put Jack on Louise's tummy as soon as he came out
0:49:31 > 0:49:35but Louise wasn't having it. She was like, "Just pass him to Lin."
0:49:37 > 0:49:39So he got handed to me straightaway.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46And it was just so emotional, wasn't it?
0:49:50 > 0:49:55The very first thing I said was, "No, you need to give him to his mum."
0:49:57 > 0:50:01And that was...I never even thought about it, that's just what came out.
0:50:01 > 0:50:06If I was ever going to feel like he was my child...
0:50:07 > 0:50:12..that would have been the moment that I would have crumbled,
0:50:14 > 0:50:19I knew in that moment that everything was going to be OK.
0:50:22 > 0:50:27The whole milk thing is quite strange,
0:50:27 > 0:50:30you're not allowed to express it to release it.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34I'm doing not bad.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36I've still got a good bit of wobble
0:50:38 > 0:50:41But considering I'm only a week post-natal,
0:50:41 > 0:50:46I'm not doing too bad. I'm quite happy with the way that everything's turned out.
0:50:48 > 0:50:52All right, ready to go to the pub.
0:50:55 > 0:51:01My thoughts and views on surrogacy to begin with
0:51:01 > 0:51:04were all very jolly
0:51:05 > 0:51:08I think my views have definitely changed on that.
0:51:08 > 0:51:13It's just not as perfect as I thought it would be.
0:51:21 > 0:51:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:51:24 > 0:51:28E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk