0:00:02 > 0:00:07- We can make a rubbish and a recycling.- Did we throw these away or are these new?
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Oh, bother!
0:00:09 > 0:00:10They're new.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Always acquiring and never discarding,
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Vasoulla is a hoarder.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19I don't care if it's falling apart!
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Stop getting stressed out. - I do get stressed out.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27Daughter Jasmine has had a lifelong struggle with Vasoulla's condition.
0:00:27 > 0:00:33All through my life, I've felt like my mum's stuff was more important than me.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I've tried to make her choose, and she couldn't choose
0:00:36 > 0:00:39because it was not a choice,
0:00:39 > 0:00:43it was purely a compulsion that she couldn't control.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48But Jasmine's finally persuaded her mum to try and clear the house for good.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Help me make a decision. I'm playing with it now!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54My mum is an amazing mum.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58She's loving, caring, she's interested in what we do.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03And, you know, she's a fantastic mum.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06She's just rubbish at housework!
0:01:15 > 0:01:20Jasmine grew up in this house, where her mother, Vasoulla, still lives.
0:01:21 > 0:01:28The first room we come to is the, er, not-living-room.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30WIND CHIMES TINKLE
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Not a lot of space.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37There's a nice open fireplace, but we can't see it.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41There's, erm, pretty things
0:01:41 > 0:01:45and there's allsorts of...
0:01:45 > 0:01:49..useful things that are of no use.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56The first things that I collected were tiny dolls house things
0:01:56 > 0:02:03that were found in derelict houses that had been bombed during the war in London.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I was about five or six.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07And they were precious and I kept them in a box.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11But I didn't keep them in the house, I kept them in the coal bunker.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16The sudden death of Vasoulla's father, when she was just three, meant an unsettled childhood
0:02:16 > 0:02:21as the family moved between their native Cyprus and England.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Each time we moved from one country to another,
0:02:26 > 0:02:31there were lots of things that we couldn't take, so they'd be lost.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36And I don't know if that contributed to hoarding,
0:02:36 > 0:02:42but it's possible that losing your precious little toys when you're a child
0:02:42 > 0:02:47means that you feel vulnerable that you're going to have things taken from you.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53The cooker's here and the sink is here. It's full of stuff.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58When I have to cook, I just have to move everything off of some surface in order to cook,
0:02:58 > 0:03:02or just cut things up in the air and in the pan.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Vasoulla's daughter Jasmine is a television presenter,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10who finds beautiful homes for people to live in.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I like to vacuum everything.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18I vacuum the chairs, I vacuum the...sofas, erm,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21the kitchen worktops!
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I'll put this away now.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I've had my fix for the day!
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Jasmine spent many years trying to get Vasoulla to clear the house,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33with little success.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38As a child, it's impossible to cope with that kind of situation.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You just feel ashamed and embarrassed.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45You know, you can't have friends over.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I wanted to keep it a secret.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52And, also, when people had come round,
0:03:52 > 0:03:57people might make comments or, you know, might say,
0:03:57 > 0:03:59"Why don't you just tidy up?"
0:03:59 > 0:04:02And we had always tried to tidy up
0:04:02 > 0:04:08and had always tried to throw things out.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12And that still happens to this day. "Why don't you just clear it out?"
0:04:12 > 0:04:15"Why don't you just throw everything away?"
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Because it doesn't work.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Do you think we haven't tried that before?
0:04:20 > 0:04:27This is the only bath. There's another loo downstairs, but there's no other bath.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31The room that was originally my own room is through there.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I've slept in whatever space has been available.
0:04:35 > 0:04:41I've either slept on the floor on a mattress in the doorway.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46I had a mattress that came out from that room to here.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50Jewellery... All these bits and pieces.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55I don't like other people touching my things because I feel that,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59especially some things, they're quite fragile and I feel,
0:04:59 > 0:05:04are they going to be careful, or are they going to break it and then say it was already broken?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Or are they going to take it?
0:05:08 > 0:05:12I think this is all going to fall down.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Stay.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Really nobody understands this disease.
0:05:17 > 0:05:22You can't understand it unless you're living it,
0:05:22 > 0:05:24unless it is your reality.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I can't understand it, I still don't understand it, but I accept it
0:05:27 > 0:05:32because I know that if my mum had a choice, she wouldn't want to live this.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Vasoulla brought up her five children in the house.
0:05:39 > 0:05:4113-year-old son Cameron still lives at home,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44but this hasn't always been the case.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48We had a situation where Mum was told
0:05:48 > 0:05:54that this environment was not safe for a child to live in,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57and he went to live with my sister.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01It was quite a long time. It was a couple of years.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04And then Cameron wanted to move back home.
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Not even Cameron's room is safe from Vasoulla's hoarding.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14His space has been encroached upon more and more by me,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16and now he's got to the point where he's a big lad
0:06:16 > 0:06:21and he needs a space to grow and thrive.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Can I throw away the Financial Times from 2010?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- That's Cameron's.- I'll ask him what he wants out of it.
0:06:27 > 0:06:34Now Cameron's back home, Jasmine has convinced Vasoulla to clear the house, for his sake.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39- You think I'm going to want a copy of the Financial Times? - Mum asked me to ask you.- No.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I don't want him to have to go through his teenage years
0:06:42 > 0:06:45experiencing the same kind of things that I did.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51I think I only really became aware that my mum was a hoarder,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and that it wasn't just being messy,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58only a couple of years ago. Really recently,
0:06:58 > 0:07:03considering that I've lived in that kind of situation
0:07:03 > 0:07:06for most of my life!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Jasmine has struggled to get effective treatment for her mum,
0:07:09 > 0:07:15but is now hopeful that a team of psychologists, who are studying hoarding, may be able to help.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19I'm hoping that the doctor that we're meeting today,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22he's got a magic key or something
0:07:22 > 0:07:26that can unlock the problem and can set Mum free from it.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28That's what I really want.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Hoarding is currently considered a form of obsessive compulsive disorder.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38But Doctor Mataix-Cols believes it's a condition in its own right.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42The hope is that the research we and others are doing
0:07:42 > 0:07:46is that this will be recognised as an official disorder,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50and this will trigger a lot of investment and research
0:07:50 > 0:07:53and development of better treatments for this condition.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00Dr Mataix-Cols and his colleague have come to assess Vasoulla.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04No bubbles. Well, there is a little bit.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Lovely.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Would you perhaps want to tell us, erm,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15what's the story behind any of those items,
0:08:15 > 0:08:18perhaps one of these figurines?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23The Eiffel Tower...
0:08:23 > 0:08:26I have been to the Eiffel Tower, but I didn't get this there.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I got this in a charity shop for next to nothing,
0:08:29 > 0:08:35because you can't afford to buy them in France, in Paris.
0:08:35 > 0:08:42And I've got several French friends that it kind of reminds me of.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45One of them's passed away last year
0:08:45 > 0:08:50and it kind of reminds me of him, as well.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52My friend's been cremated,
0:08:52 > 0:08:58so there's no, er, nowhere to kind of, erm,
0:08:58 > 0:09:04no burial place where you can imagine and you can talk to them.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07This would be very difficult to get rid of, as well.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It came from my mother's kitchen
0:09:10 > 0:09:15and we made it into a necklace for a fancy dress.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17If I had to get rid of it,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21I would just be, you know, remembering my mum and...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I would also like to ask you
0:09:23 > 0:09:28whether there is new stuff coming into the house all the time.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Yes, but...
0:09:30 > 0:09:34..I'm resisting a lot, as well.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- It's a very secretive problem. - Totally.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42I really feel like I would like to...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44..deal with it.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Is there anything that family members, any tools that I could use,
0:09:55 > 0:09:59something to help tap into what she's thinking
0:09:59 > 0:10:05or to break this sort of attachment or... anything?
0:10:05 > 0:10:12There isn't a lot, in terms of treatment options in this country, or anywhere in the world, actually,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15simply because the disorder doesn't officially exist.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Once the disorder exists,
0:10:17 > 0:10:21things should change a lot for the better.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26I really want to take this on board and help my...
0:10:26 > 0:10:27..improve my life.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32Help myself to have a better home and a better life,
0:10:32 > 0:10:35and for my children, as well.
0:10:40 > 0:10:45What was very hard to hear is that...
0:10:47 > 0:10:50..that there's very little help for people,
0:10:50 > 0:10:56even though you know someone's got this problem,
0:10:56 > 0:11:00they're just looking for answers...
0:11:02 > 0:11:05..and there aren't any out there.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Nobody knows the answer.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19ALL: Cheers, everyone!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21With very little treatment available,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25it's left to Jasmine and her siblings to confront their Mum's problem head-on.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Do you remember when we had Christmas dinner in my bedroom?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Oh, yes!- Do you remember? - I had forgotten!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35My room was probably the only room where there was space.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40- John's the tidy one!- So we had Christmas dinner in my bedroom.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43It's ridiculous!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- We didn't mind. - We thought it was normal!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50We thought everybody had Christmas dinner in the bedroom!
0:11:50 > 0:11:54'We've wanted to start the process a million times before,
0:11:54 > 0:11:59'but this is the first time she's ever seemed to be ready.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02'So I think you've got to strike while the iron's hot.'
0:12:02 > 0:12:08We're all here to support you and we'll do anything we can to help you.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12I'm thinking today, it wouldn't be so bad if the house burnt down
0:12:12 > 0:12:16and everything was gone, then I could start again.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18But in a way,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21you know, it doesn't have to burn down to be all gone,
0:12:21 > 0:12:25it can be all gone through choice.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27For your own choice. I think that would be better.
0:12:27 > 0:12:33I'm sure we've all thought about burning the house down at one time or another!
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Put it in the box. If you like them, we can have them.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46Over the next two months, Jasmine and Vasoulla are hoping to clear the whole living room,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52This stuff, I thought I wanted to keep.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56'It's really hard for me to get rid of anything, any of this stuff.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58'I want to. It's just hard.'
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Are you sorting stuff?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I'm sorting and resorting, by the look of it.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I've handled all these and I've decided...
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- ..I don't know what to do with them! - Exactly!
0:13:10 > 0:13:14With virtually no space in the house to sort through things,
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Jasmine has rented some storage nearby.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19We've tried throwing everything out before.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24I can't throw stuff away that belongs to Mum
0:13:24 > 0:13:29because she would feel violated and would want to replace it immediately.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31So it's totally counterproductive.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35The way we have to let go of possessions
0:13:35 > 0:13:39is that Mum has to work through every single item
0:13:39 > 0:13:43and she has to have control of it.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44THEY GRUNT
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Couldn't you collect something light?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58I'm hoping that I can keep everything I want to keep
0:13:58 > 0:14:03and still have a tidy and liveable house.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- So I'm not -- So, you don't think you've got too much stuff?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09That's not what I said. You're trying to put words in my mouth.
0:14:09 > 0:14:14It sounds to me like you're almost backing out and changing your mind.
0:14:14 > 0:14:20- I'm not backing out!- "I want to keep everything and reorganise." - I'm not saying that!
0:14:20 > 0:14:24- The problem is that the hallway's just one part of the house.- Yes.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28And I might want to keep 90 percent of what's in the hallway,
0:14:28 > 0:14:34but it doesn't mean I want to keep 90 percent of what's in the bedroom.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36One, two, three, up.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41It's like the heaviest trolley in the world.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Sell.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Keep.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55I would like to keep my recipe books.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- All of them?- And this one. Maybe not all of them.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01How many have you got?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- About 5,000.- Right!
0:15:04 > 0:15:08I think I'd like to keep the biology book, too, because it's really cool.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Have a look at the ratio that you've...
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Uh-oh.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Oops.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Sorry!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24It's depressing really, because...
0:15:24 > 0:15:28..I just know that she wants to keep most things.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31If we carry on going at this rate,
0:15:31 > 0:15:36I'll be 135 by the time the house is clear!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45It's one pound apiece, all right?
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- OK.- Because they're too nice to sell for 50p.
0:15:49 > 0:15:54After two weeks of sorting, Vasoulla has agreed to let go of a car-boot full of possessions
0:15:54 > 0:15:57she's prepared to sell.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- You've got some nice plates there. - Thanks.- You're welcome.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Christmas cards, we got...
0:16:03 > 0:16:04They're very special.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07More Christmas cards! Do you want to have a look?
0:16:07 > 0:16:12It's good, isn't it, buying Christmas cards in April?!
0:16:12 > 0:16:16I'm selecting some Christmas cards for myself,
0:16:16 > 0:16:18before they sell them all.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Jasmine's brother Andy is helping out on Vasoulla's stall.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28She's sifting through her own stuff that she's brought here.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31It's not unheard of for her to give things away,
0:16:31 > 0:16:35she's given stuff away to the, er, to the Salvation Army,
0:16:35 > 0:16:40and it's her own stuff that she took there three days previously,
0:16:40 > 0:16:44she goes back and goes, "Actually, I can't live without this,"
0:16:44 > 0:16:47and pays to take it away again.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50So it's sort of expected!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53We knew she wouldn't let go of everything straight away.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- I'll give it to you for 6.50. - Why not seven? It's a good price.
0:16:58 > 0:17:04Actually, I think I'll just keep this one, because I really love it.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07She doesn't want to sell anything.
0:17:07 > 0:17:106.50 is where we meet. We said seven, you said six.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13It's better to sell these items than not sell.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- I'm not getting angry.- Just go away. - Don't tell me to go away.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Give me this... Er, what can I say...
0:17:20 > 0:17:22This.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27And it's 6.50, not six now. So you get that for nothing.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32I'm sorry about my mum. I feel embarrassed.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I do feel embarrassed.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39That was ridiculous, by the way.
0:17:39 > 0:17:45At the end of the day, you might as well sell the stuff, not quibble over 50p.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Let her have it. It doesn't matter.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- We're not here to make money, are we?- Aren't we?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55We're here to get rid of the mountain of stuff that you've got.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01We're coming away with less stuff than I thought we would.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I'm surprised about that, rather than the other way.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Why? Because you sabotage every sale that we have?
0:18:08 > 0:18:14No! Only a couple of people that were trying to...
0:18:14 > 0:18:16..take us for a ride.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18One, two, three.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22'I'm just exhausted now.'
0:18:22 > 0:18:27And I've probably got about 40 quid in my little pouch
0:18:27 > 0:18:31to, er, show for all the hard work, so...!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'd rather give her 40 quid.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37I'd rather give her 40 quid and buy all that stuff
0:18:37 > 0:18:41and do with it whatever I wanted, but that's no good.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I've offered her money for her stuff before.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47I said, "I'll give you this amount of money
0:18:47 > 0:18:50and you give me everything in your house,"
0:18:50 > 0:18:55but she wouldn't agree to that because she knows I might ditch some of the things that she loves.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Not only does Vasoulla find it difficult to get rid of things,
0:19:02 > 0:19:05she constantly acquires new belongings.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10At my worst, I would be bringing in, say,
0:19:10 > 0:19:14four or five carrier bags of second-hand stuff,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17or new stuff, it didn't matter, a day,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20or a couple of times a week
0:19:20 > 0:19:22at least.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25It's like placing a bet and winning.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28When you go out and you find something,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30you've won, you've found more treasure.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33So you take it home. Erm...
0:19:33 > 0:19:38But at the end of the day, it's, erm, counterproductive
0:19:38 > 0:19:44because there's so much stuff that you can't use any of it.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47I bought these yesterday.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55So there's two kiddies' books, one self-help, one decorating book.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00When Jasmine phoned me up, I was still there
0:20:00 > 0:20:03and she said, "Where are you?" and I told her.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07And Jasmine's like, "Oh, Mum!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10"You're not to supposed to bring books in!
0:20:10 > 0:20:13"I'm working so hard to help you empty the place!"
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Because she is working so hard.
0:20:17 > 0:20:22So...sorry, Jasmine.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27See those sticks in that bag?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31I was thinking, "They'd be useful for propping my plants up."
0:20:31 > 0:20:36'Mine and my mum's relationship is completely dominated by the hoarding.
0:20:36 > 0:20:42'That's all we talk about, and it's been that way for a while now.'
0:20:42 > 0:20:47- What are you doing?- This thing on its own is about five quid to buy.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50There was a time when we couldn't even broach the subject
0:20:50 > 0:20:55because it would just end in tears every time.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58And then we just didn't really talk much.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Or we just talked about the weather.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I've felt very much like a homeless person over the last few years,
0:21:08 > 0:21:14because my home has been occupied
0:21:14 > 0:21:16by the possessions.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Jasmine and her mum have been clearing the house for a month now,
0:21:22 > 0:21:24but have ground to a halt.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29If I had a bigger space and I put everything out,
0:21:29 > 0:21:33instead of being that way, it was that way, and I could see it all,
0:21:33 > 0:21:38I could then decide, "Oh, I don't actually want all that stuff
0:21:38 > 0:21:41and I just want this one or this one."
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- Like a football-field size of space? - That what I was thinking.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59It's a radical step, but they both agree to move the contents of the living and dining rooms
0:21:59 > 0:22:01to a nearby warehouse.
0:22:01 > 0:22:06Vasoulla now has to decide what she really needs to keep.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I feel I'm ready for it to happen.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14It doesn't stop it being stressful.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19Do you want some more bags? There's more.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22It's really weird. It's really nice, actually.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25I think the last time I was in this room,
0:22:25 > 0:22:27I was probably just still a child.
0:22:27 > 0:22:33Every Christmas, we had the Christmas tree here and we used to get up at,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36you know, before the crack of down and sit down here!
0:22:36 > 0:22:41We weren't allowed to open our presents until seven o'clock. That was the rule.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44If you... Be careful, madam!
0:22:44 > 0:22:48- Even though it's a bit of rubbish to you...- No, it's OK.
0:22:48 > 0:22:54..it's still very useful for what I want to use it for.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I honestly wish that
0:23:10 > 0:23:14it could all just drive away and never come back
0:23:14 > 0:23:16and I never have to deal with it again.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18But, obviously, Mum would kill me!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27If it was all gone, never to be seen again,
0:23:27 > 0:23:30would it really matter?
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I hope this isn't a plan that you've cooked up.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Ugh! I'm not.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40The question popped into my head and I just wondered how you would feel.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47If the van drove off and never reappeared,
0:23:47 > 0:23:51I just wouldn't trust anybody again.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04- I've walked into the wrong house! - JASMINE LAUGHS
0:24:05 > 0:24:10- Since when was that there?- Did you not know there was a door there?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Wow.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Look, Mum found something of yours.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18HORSE NEIGHS
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Burn it!
0:24:21 > 0:24:26I think I handled it the worst out of probably all of us kids.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29I can remember one awful time.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33I was out on a date and, erm, the guy dropped me home
0:24:33 > 0:24:37and I got out the car and he went, "Can I use the loo quickly?"
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- You said no. - I said, "No, you can't."
0:24:40 > 0:24:43And he went, "What?" I said, "No, I'm sorry."
0:24:43 > 0:24:46I'd never discussed it with him, but I said, "It's too messy."
0:24:46 > 0:24:50He said, "It can't be that messy." I said, "Wait here a minute."
0:24:50 > 0:24:54And I went upstairs and cleared the toilet out
0:24:54 > 0:24:57so that he could go to the loo!
0:24:57 > 0:24:58That was dreadful.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Aww, I'm sorry.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13It's a lot of stuff. It's masses of stuff. Seeing it spread out like this,
0:25:13 > 0:25:17it looks even more than it did in the house.
0:25:18 > 0:25:23She doesn't have long to decide, as the warehouse has only been rented for two weeks.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27I don't know how I'm going to go through it, but I will have to.
0:25:27 > 0:25:32So...I'm lucky it didn't disappear on the way here.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Aww! SHE LAUGHS
0:25:47 > 0:25:54So sweet! That's holiday snaps from seven, eight years ago.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57I forgot I even had these.
0:25:57 > 0:26:03That's me and Cameron, when he was about four, in Portugal.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07It feels good to have the space, even just to see the table again.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10You can touch...
0:26:10 > 0:26:14You can open your arms out without touching anything!
0:26:14 > 0:26:19You're not afraid of walking because there's nothing to fall on top of you.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21SHE CHUCKLES
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Even though the floor's filthy and needs a wash,
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I can still walk around.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32But I'm having to stop being a hoarder.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34It's still in my brain.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38The stuff is still, you know, all turning around in my brain
0:26:38 > 0:26:43and I'm, you know, thinking, "That and that and that."
0:26:43 > 0:26:45But I'm really...
0:26:45 > 0:26:52I'm really hoping that we continue, because I don't want to stop,
0:26:52 > 0:26:56and I can almost breathe again.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Time to get to school, Cameron.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- See you, Mum. - Bye, sweetheart. Have a good day.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25- Hello! - Hi, Mum!
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Are you moving in?!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29- Oh, my God! - It's a bit much, isn't it?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Vasoulla's sons, Johnny and Andy,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35have come to help their mother sort out what to keep.
0:27:35 > 0:27:40I think we should do a skim. You just go, "This, this, this, I'm going to keep"
0:27:40 > 0:27:42and then we'll just shift it out the way.
0:27:42 > 0:27:47I don't feel quite ready to get rid of a lot of the stuff yet.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52So it's difficult for me to say, "I don't want that"
0:27:52 > 0:27:54when I still really want everything.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57But I don't want to take it back home either.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Can you just say what you see that you want to keep?
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- This, definitely?- What's in it? - Nothing. It's empty.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08- Where's the set that was in it? - Quickly, then. Have a look at that.
0:28:08 > 0:28:13- I want that. I like that. - Definitely want to keep that?- Yes.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Pyrex?
0:28:15 > 0:28:17- They're a dime a dozen, yes?- Erm...
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Somebody wanted a lasagne dish that I know.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24They can go to the shop and buy one, then!
0:28:24 > 0:28:27These are broken, these speakers.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31And they're mine, as well. So can I throw them away, please?
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- Where were they? - In the pram.
0:28:34 > 0:28:39The only reason I have speakers is because they've got magnets on them.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42- Yes, but -- Can I have the magnets and not the speakers?
0:28:42 > 0:28:47If she's asking me if she can keep them, I'm going to say no.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50The thing is, these things that she wants to keep,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53they'll go back into the house and they'll sit there forever
0:28:53 > 0:28:56and she'll never do with them the things she has in mind.
0:28:56 > 0:29:01Like, with those speakers, she wants the magnets to pick up paper clips.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04If we ever come to that, we can just buy her another magnet!
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Or another speaker, if that's what she wants!
0:29:07 > 0:29:10She'd rather buy a speaker, dismantle it and take the magnet out
0:29:10 > 0:29:13in order to pick up some paper clips!
0:29:13 > 0:29:17Are you asking me if you can have my magnets? No. The answer's no.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21If it's up to me, the answer's no.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23OK. That's not very helpful.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27What do you mean? They're mine. I'm keeping them.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31OK.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36That's not very good, is it?
0:29:36 > 0:29:40Don't let it get to you. They're my speakers. You don't need them.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42- Do you?- No.- Well.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46I don't want my mum to be upset,
0:29:46 > 0:29:51but that is a barrier that sort of needs to be softened up a little bit.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55'You can't just give in to her because she wants to keep everything.'
0:29:55 > 0:29:59- Mum.- Yes? - It's all right. Look at me.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Do you want to take five?
0:30:05 > 0:30:08If we're going to make progress, it'll be hard.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10She knows that. She's agreed to do it.
0:30:10 > 0:30:15- This is the speed that you can go at.- It's not!- There's nothing...
0:30:15 > 0:30:20This is the speed that you can go at if you've not got feelings towards the things you're looking at.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24You're sorting out what is the absolute shite from what you can use.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27- All right? Done?- Not done!
0:30:27 > 0:30:32There's all of that to sort. Can you look at the stuff that you've still got to sort?
0:30:32 > 0:30:36That whole end needs to be cleared today.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39This is futile, what you're doing.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45You have to decide what's important to you.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48It's important for me that you don't shout at me.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50- I'm not. This is talking. - It's important -
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Don't try and make me out to be a bad guy.
0:30:53 > 0:30:58Let me talk, then. It's important to me that you don't shout at me.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01It's important that you let me have my thoughts
0:31:01 > 0:31:04and it's important to me that we do it quickly, too.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06So do it quickly.
0:31:06 > 0:31:13'I was expecting my mum to be much more ready to get rid of stuff at this stage.'
0:31:13 > 0:31:18It feels like she's made a choice, she'd rather have the stuff than us round. Round her house.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Especially with my little brother, who still lives there...
0:31:21 > 0:31:25And you'd think that, you know,
0:31:25 > 0:31:29him having to live in all that crap, all that rubbish surrounding him,
0:31:29 > 0:31:33you'd think that would be enough of an incentive for her to clear up.
0:31:37 > 0:31:41Everything Vasoulla wants to save will be stored in a locker.
0:31:42 > 0:31:46There's loads of space!
0:31:46 > 0:31:50- "It won't fit!" - Why don't you sit down? Have a seat!
0:31:50 > 0:31:52I feel right at home!
0:31:52 > 0:31:57We'll just load it all in around you and you can stay in there!
0:31:57 > 0:32:00This is just how home is.
0:32:00 > 0:32:05All of this stuff, plus the stuff's that's not yet sorted in the warehouse,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08is all just from living room and dining room,
0:32:08 > 0:32:11and it has to go back into the house because you're keeping it.
0:32:11 > 0:32:16But compare what's here to what's going.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21- There's the same. I'd say 50-50. - No.- I'd say 50-50.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25If you put all this back into those two rooms,
0:32:25 > 0:32:29obviously they wouldn't be functional as rooms.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32They would just be storage units again.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36She feels like she's making a lot of sacrifices
0:32:36 > 0:32:38and that we're pushing her into it,
0:32:38 > 0:32:42but, actually, she's not making enough sacrifices
0:32:42 > 0:32:47because there's still a huge amount of stuff here.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50- That's the last thing.- Cool.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02I feel differently on different days.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Even different minutes.
0:33:05 > 0:33:11One minute I'm thinking, "Throw the lot away. It wouldn't matter if everything was gone."
0:33:11 > 0:33:16But the moment passes and then I'm again, you know, "Ohh!"
0:33:17 > 0:33:21Increasingly concerned at the amount Vasoulla still wants to hang on to,
0:33:21 > 0:33:25Jasmine is keen for the process not to stall.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29It's been completely trial and error.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32Everything I've done with my mum, I've been feeling my way along,
0:33:32 > 0:33:36making mistakes along the way, finding out what works, what doesn't,
0:33:36 > 0:33:40and it's definitely a journey of discovery.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45Jasmine's travelling to New York to meet American author Jessie Sholl,
0:33:45 > 0:33:49who recently wrote a book about her own mother's hoarding.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I read the book,
0:33:51 > 0:33:56and there were a lot of similarities in there with me and my mum.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59It wasn't identical, there was a few slightly different things,
0:33:59 > 0:34:01but you read it...
0:34:02 > 0:34:05..and you can just relate to it.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16Like Jasmine, Jessie has struggled for years to combat her mother's hoarding.
0:34:16 > 0:34:21Three years ago, she decided never to set foot in her mum's house again.
0:34:21 > 0:34:26For Jasmine, it's a chance to explore a different way of dealing with her mother's condition.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30Because you want so badly to be able to help your parents,
0:34:30 > 0:34:35we all want our parents to live in a safe and healthy environment,
0:34:35 > 0:34:37so we want more than anything to be able to fix it.
0:34:37 > 0:34:42It's so hard to jump forward and out of denial,
0:34:42 > 0:34:47and I think the only way you can get through it is by going through it.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50You have to try and fail.
0:34:50 > 0:34:55That's really the only way that you can get to the point of letting go.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59I still am the daughter of a hoarder,
0:34:59 > 0:35:03I still have a mother with a mental illness and I always will,
0:35:03 > 0:35:07but I can choose right now how much it's affecting my life
0:35:07 > 0:35:09and right now, it's not.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14I tried so many times. I cleaned her house.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17Not just that, but I spent years, you know,
0:35:17 > 0:35:20trying to convince her over the phone, "Clean one room a week,"
0:35:20 > 0:35:23thinking, like, I needed the one magic plan,
0:35:23 > 0:35:26and if I could figure it out,
0:35:26 > 0:35:30erm, her mind would flip and she wouldn't be a hoarder.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33She'd realise, have this revelation and go, "Oh, yes!
0:35:33 > 0:35:37"Wouldn't it be nice to be able to sleep in my bed
0:35:37 > 0:35:40- "and cook in my kitchen?" - Right. Exactly.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42After trying for years and years,
0:35:42 > 0:35:48and being infested with parasites, scabies, twice,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51I just had to say, "That's it. I'm done."
0:35:51 > 0:35:56I would've given up a long time ago if I didn't have the motivation of my youngest brother.
0:35:56 > 0:36:02- Right.- To make the environment better for him.- That's a big one.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05I've thought about this a lot in terms of hoarding,
0:36:05 > 0:36:11and often I think the hoarder's anxiety and comfort level should not be the priority.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14- It should be the child. - It's the people who live with them
0:36:14 > 0:36:17and it's the people who are really affected.
0:36:17 > 0:36:22Because, yes, getting rid of this millionth copy of this paperback
0:36:22 > 0:36:24might cause the hoarder anxiety,
0:36:24 > 0:36:29but how much anxiety does it cause the child who's living there?
0:36:29 > 0:36:34- So I think that...- You're right. It's not very balanced. - It's not at all.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37I hadn't really thought about it in that way.
0:36:37 > 0:36:42If she ever gets to the point where the progress stops,
0:36:42 > 0:36:47you might have to just take your brother out and have him live with you.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Yes. Which I would be more than happy to do.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53It would be a lot easier than trying to clear it out!
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Why not just do that?
0:36:55 > 0:37:00- Because he wants to be at home with his mum.- I see.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03And my mum wants him to be at home with her.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05I hate to say it,
0:37:05 > 0:37:10- but I've just never seen someone not hoard any more.- Mm.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14- It's discouraging, isn't it? - It's very, very discouraging.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22I might be sounding really blinkered,
0:37:22 > 0:37:26because all the facts and statistics and everything
0:37:26 > 0:37:29are plain for anyone to see, glaringly obvious,
0:37:29 > 0:37:34"She's never going to recover" and I might as well just give up!
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Well,
0:37:36 > 0:37:38that's just bollocks.
0:37:38 > 0:37:42You know. That is just...not an option.
0:37:42 > 0:37:48So even if I am being blinkered, and even if I am wasting my time,
0:37:48 > 0:37:54I can't think of anything I'd prefer to be doing right now.
0:37:54 > 0:37:59I would just... I just want to crack on with it...
0:38:01 > 0:38:04..and, you know, only time will tell.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09For Jasmine, there's a lot more at stake than there was for me,
0:38:09 > 0:38:14and that is because she has a 13-year-old brother living there.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16I mean, that really changes everything.
0:38:16 > 0:38:21If I were Jasmine, I think I probably would be doing the exact same thing.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30It's the final day of clearing at the warehouse.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31Good morning!
0:38:31 > 0:38:34Anything Vasoulla hasn't set aside to keep
0:38:34 > 0:38:38will be taken away to be sold or disposed of in just a few hours.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40OK, OK.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43- OK. - What do you want us to do, Mum?
0:38:43 > 0:38:47- Cast your eye over this stuff. - I might have to have a nervous breakdown.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Do I want a fancy skirt?
0:38:49 > 0:38:53Oh, it's not a skirt, it's a top. THEY LAUGH
0:38:53 > 0:38:57I'm feeling stressed. I've taken lots of drugs.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59You know, medication.
0:38:59 > 0:39:04Can you please let me finish what I'm doing? This was my mum's fork.
0:39:04 > 0:39:05Yes!
0:39:05 > 0:39:09So you don't have to bend your wrist.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12You're not going to keep it, are you?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16You haven't got wrist problems, have you, yet?
0:39:16 > 0:39:19What about this? Is this your favourite spoon?
0:39:19 > 0:39:24No, that's... You know what that is. Stop taking the pee.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28I've got this at home. I've got the toy.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Oh. Why have you got it? I hope you lot haven't...
0:39:31 > 0:39:35I've been looking for these things! I hope you haven't put them in the bin!
0:39:35 > 0:39:38- Why are you sounding so - - And this I need!
0:39:38 > 0:39:42- Why do you need it?- For my... - What do you mean, "need"?- I need it!
0:39:42 > 0:39:46- Let's get this straight. - I need it to throw at Cameron!
0:39:46 > 0:39:49'She's in a panic.'
0:39:49 > 0:39:50My magic rope.
0:39:50 > 0:39:54There's no need to be, because everything of any value,
0:39:54 > 0:39:58and a lot of things of no value, have already been taken out.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00I won't take it personally.
0:40:00 > 0:40:05I just want to get on with it with as little stress as possible.
0:40:05 > 0:40:10It's like a bloody orgy in this box! Look at that!
0:40:10 > 0:40:14There's only one girl, though. Oh, here's the rest of them.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Right, there's no Lego in there.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23I'm panicking about some things. SHE SIGHS
0:40:23 > 0:40:26OK. They're coming in less than an hour,
0:40:26 > 0:40:29so I want you to make sure that you are prepared
0:40:29 > 0:40:32and you've done the most important things.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36I don't know what you've done, what you've thrown and what you haven't.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41For me, it would be better to take it slower.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45But I am a bit worried about letting my kids down
0:40:45 > 0:40:48and I'm also...
0:40:48 > 0:40:52..very concerned about my youngest son.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55He's the one I'm worried about most.
0:40:55 > 0:41:01I feel like I have to let them get stuff moving, for his sake.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06- Somebody's gone through those boxes. - You might not know that there's something I really want!
0:41:06 > 0:41:08So, can I just say, is that the top priority,
0:41:08 > 0:41:11or is the stuff that nobody's looked at the priority?
0:41:11 > 0:41:15- Well, both.- Which one first? You can't do them both first.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17I'm doing this at the moment!
0:41:17 > 0:41:22- I can't put them anywhere - - Put them in a different box. - I'm not starting a new box.
0:41:22 > 0:41:26- You're all panicking!- We're not. - You're all panicking and you're making me -
0:41:26 > 0:41:30You have decided to keep everything at the last minute.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33No, I haven't decided to keep everything!
0:41:33 > 0:41:36You're really going to keep these?
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Please, it's something I have to work through, OK?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Please.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47And this... These things I'm keeping, too, please.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51These pictures and this lid for that box.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54I don't want those.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00My kids are all going to beat me up if I'm not careful.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03They hate me because I want to check through the stuff.
0:42:03 > 0:42:09Does every family have random stuff like this, or is it just me?
0:42:11 > 0:42:13SHE SIGHS
0:42:19 > 0:42:23I would like to keep all these action figures.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26Don't make me flip out, Mum.
0:42:26 > 0:42:27Don't flip out, love.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30- I'm not going to keep -- One, two.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33Out of them?
0:42:34 > 0:42:39- I'm telling you, you're not keeping all of these dolls.- Look...
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- Just -- You're not. - Just -- I can't let you.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45- Who sorted it?- No-one sorted it
0:42:45 > 0:42:49because you said the toys can go, except for the Lego.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53- These were here! I thought they were at home!- Stop screaming.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56I'm sorry if I'm screaming.
0:42:56 > 0:43:00- I'm not screaming. You should hear me scream. - Well, you're screeching, then.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04- All right, love.- Whether or not you knew these were here,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07we were just following what you said.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09- I'm trying to control myself. - Thank you.
0:43:09 > 0:43:13- I'd like you to allow me -- No.
0:43:13 > 0:43:17I'd like you... Actually, I'm not asking you,
0:43:17 > 0:43:19I'm telling you, I'm keeping those.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23If that isn't with your agreement, then we have to fall out.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25OK.
0:43:39 > 0:43:43- How much more do you want people to do for you?- Nothing.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46So just go. Just leave.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49- Call Jasmine. I'm not going. - I'm not calling Jasmine.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53Jasmine's left because you're behaving in a way that's not dignified.
0:43:53 > 0:43:57- What do you mean, "not dignified"? - I mean what I say, Mother!
0:44:04 > 0:44:07This is for you. We're not doing this for ourselves.
0:44:07 > 0:44:14You've got to let go of it. What's important in your life, this shit or your family?
0:44:14 > 0:44:19Think about it, seriously. This is plastic shit. Yes?
0:44:19 > 0:44:23Your family love you. It's not worth upsetting your family for any of this stuff.
0:44:23 > 0:44:27I'd give everything that you've kept for not upsetting Jasmine for one minute.
0:44:27 > 0:44:33- All right. I'll take a few. - One in ten. Two in ten.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37You know what I mean? How many do you really need?
0:44:37 > 0:44:40- You're keeping these, yes? - I haven't gone through them yet.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43- Sorry. - Quickly, though. It's time to go.
0:44:43 > 0:44:48- Wait, wait, wait!- You can have these boots. There you go.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50- Sorry, Mum.- Sorry, darling.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53One minute, And.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56Shall we all just wait, then?
0:44:56 > 0:45:01- Come on.- Let me get these little things, please!
0:45:11 > 0:45:14I'm looking at...
0:45:14 > 0:45:16..Homes & Gardens.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18SHE LAUGHS
0:45:18 > 0:45:21At least it's not Good Housekeeping!
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Are you all right, darling?
0:45:25 > 0:45:29- I think you've done an amazing job. - You have. I'm rubbish.
0:45:29 > 0:45:34- I'm rubbish at it. - You need the patience of an angel to be able to deal with this.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41I just feel like...
0:45:41 > 0:45:45I feel like I'm going to cry with joy.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54I'm so glad it's going.
0:45:58 > 0:46:03My kids have lost their patience with me.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06I don't blame them. They've lived with me
0:46:06 > 0:46:09and I'm still the same person, you see.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14It's difficult for me to be able to let go
0:46:14 > 0:46:17as easily as I'd like to.
0:46:18 > 0:46:22In two weeks, Vasoulla has got rid of half the contents
0:46:22 > 0:46:24from her living and dining rooms.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27- Good riddance!- Indeed.
0:46:27 > 0:46:33That was the best clearance we've ever done.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35All that stuff's gone.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Oh, what a relief!
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Three weeks later, the momentum continues
0:46:48 > 0:46:53as they clear the garden, hallway, a toilet, bedroom for Vasoulla
0:46:53 > 0:46:56and a room for Cameron.
0:46:56 > 0:47:00I'm not going to go and buy things to replace the things that have gone,
0:47:00 > 0:47:02unless I really need them.
0:47:02 > 0:47:06That's the idea. But whether it works...
0:47:06 > 0:47:08I hope it works, I really do.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12But after a lifetime of hoarding,
0:47:12 > 0:47:15there are still two flights of stairs,
0:47:15 > 0:47:19the landings, the bathroom,
0:47:19 > 0:47:23three bedrooms and the kitchen still to sort.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27I feel just tired of it.
0:47:27 > 0:47:31I did say to her last week, "We can just stop."
0:47:31 > 0:47:33She said she didn't want to stop.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37I even asked Cameron to come and live with me so I could stop,
0:47:37 > 0:47:41so I could not have to worry about it any more.
0:47:41 > 0:47:42He said no, as well!
0:47:42 > 0:47:47How long do you think it's going to take us to do this kitchen?
0:47:47 > 0:47:51Quite a while because everything is dirty.
0:47:51 > 0:47:56- You've got a dishwasher. - Everything is out of place.
0:47:56 > 0:48:00I'm going to be battling with myself the whole time.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03You know...
0:48:03 > 0:48:05"Throw it away. No, keep it!"
0:48:05 > 0:48:08- Keep this?- It's up to you.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10We'll keep it for now.
0:48:10 > 0:48:16I always wanted to fix the house, and to fix my mum,
0:48:16 > 0:48:20and I don't think I'll be able to fix my mum.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24But she's my mum and I love her
0:48:24 > 0:48:27and I'll never give up on her.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35Keep that. Where's the keep box? Thank you.
0:48:41 > 0:48:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:48:45 > 0:48:49E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk