0:00:02 > 0:00:04Adele and Laurence are having a baby.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08Complications when they were born mean they both have cerebral palsy.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10They said that I'd never walk.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12I think that they actually used the word "vegetable".
0:00:12 > 0:00:15Adele is determined to have her baby naturally...
0:00:15 > 0:00:17I like the idea of water!
0:00:17 > 0:00:22..but has no idea what impact her condition will have on that.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26I just want to try and experience it in the same way as most women do.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30While stand-up comedian Laurence tries to see the funny side...
0:00:30 > 0:00:34I don't know if people are clapping my jokes or my sperm...
0:00:34 > 0:00:36LAUGHTER
0:00:36 > 0:00:39..mother-in-law Pauline knows having a baby is no laughing matter.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Will Laurence and Adele get the birth of their choice?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46The important thing is that he comes in one piece.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49I'd never forgive myself if something happened.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54And how will they cope with a new addition to their busy lives?
0:00:54 > 0:00:58I'm just frightened, Mum, in case I can't get mobile again.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59You will get mobile.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Have you got him? No, Laurie have you got him?
0:01:02 > 0:01:09This programme contains some strong language
0:01:09 > 0:01:15Nine years ago Laurence Clark and his wife Adele fell in love.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19I think it was probably more lust to begin with, to be honest.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23We went out for a drink one night,
0:01:23 > 0:01:28and one thing led to another!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Laurence laughs and says, "Oh, second date.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36"She was like, 'Do you want kids? If you don't, get on your bike!'"
0:01:36 > 0:01:39But you know, it was really important to me,
0:01:39 > 0:01:44and I guess, looking back, I realise that I was quite pushy.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Why did you climb on that side?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56After a year of marriage, they had Tom,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58and began life as disabled parents.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03We just used to get on with it and not really see it as an issue.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05It was other people's perceptions of us,
0:02:05 > 0:02:09so I'd be out in the local supermarket, for example,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12and complete strangers would stop and ask me how I manage,
0:02:12 > 0:02:16and sometimes ask if Tom was mine.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Quite frankly, it's none of their business.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22- It doesn't really come as a surprise.- No.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27You get negative reactions in all areas of life,
0:02:27 > 0:02:32so I don't see why this should be any different.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Hi, Tom!
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Do you want a push?
0:02:36 > 0:02:41It's taken six years for Adele to persuade Laurence to have another child.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Hold on tight!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45This is a bit more difficult, now Mummy's got a bump.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47She's now four months pregnant.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I was really keen for him to have siblings
0:02:51 > 0:02:56so, you know, that was a lot of my drive, really.
0:02:58 > 0:03:05I was a bit more hesitant, just because it was a lot of work...
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Still is!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You've done extra good with that pizza.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Do you think you'll have room for pud?
0:03:27 > 0:03:32This is where I asked Adele to move in with me.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Before I met Laurence, I'd been in some situations
0:03:37 > 0:03:43where I'd been with non-disabled men who were absolute wastes of space,
0:03:43 > 0:03:50and it was just that need to feel attractive
0:03:50 > 0:03:54to a non-disabled man, which...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56you know, is silly really.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01That said, I think we can both name
0:04:01 > 0:04:05hundreds of potential disabled partners
0:04:05 > 0:04:08that we wouldn't touch with a barge pole!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Six-year-old Tom likes jumping on his Dad,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19dressing up,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21and Doctor Who.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24And he's already decided on a name for the baby.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Do you like Harry?
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Do you like Harry?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Yeah.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35And Dad does,
0:04:35 > 0:04:37but my mum doesn't.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41What does she want to call the baby?
0:04:43 > 0:04:48She doesn't know yet, but if we had a girl it would be all sorted.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Laurence and Adele are about to discover
0:04:58 > 0:05:01if it's a brother or sister for Tom.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Adele's mother, Pauline, is joining them at the hospital.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I'd like a girl but I'd be happy with a boy.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I just want one of each.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17It's only because he doesn't want me nagging him for any more, that's why!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21He can argue he's got the full set then, and get the snip.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Laurence and Adele have chosen not to have any pre-natal tests
0:05:27 > 0:05:30which could predict impairments in their unborn child.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35We're in a position where our impairments aren't hereditary,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38so we haven't got that to think about.
0:05:38 > 0:05:44And, if our baby was born with some sort of impairment,
0:05:44 > 0:05:50we'd be well placed to bring them up.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I think that our biggest worry
0:05:52 > 0:05:56was that he could have been born a Tory.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01Your biggest worry at the time was, would he have ginger hair?
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Yeah! Oh, yeah!
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Heart beating.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12There, you can see the spine, so the baby's lying on its back.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14So, the million dollar question is,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16can you tell the sex?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19OK. We say it's not 100%...
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Yeah.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21..but it looks like a boy.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Yeah.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25You were right.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26I was right.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Aw, I'm a nan again!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh, look! He looks like Tom.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33THEY LAUGH
0:06:43 > 0:06:45This is Adele and I.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49We went and had a makeover for her 21st,
0:06:49 > 0:06:53but I love that one because I just feel dead close to her on that.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56She goes, "Mum, will you get rid of the big photographs of me?"
0:06:56 > 0:06:57I go, "No, I love them."
0:06:57 > 0:07:02Obviously she's going to get demoted because I want one of the new baby.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07When I was seven months, my waters broke.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08I was taken into the hospital,
0:07:08 > 0:07:12and they gave me an injection to try and stop her from coming.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Then I went in at ten o'clock on the Friday night,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19and had her at 2:10pm on Saturday afternoon.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23They just said the next 48 hours are crucial,
0:07:23 > 0:07:24and I thought to myself,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27"If this baby dies, I've got nothing to live for."
0:07:34 > 0:07:37From the point of diagnosis, it's often really negative.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42"Your son or daughter won't achieve A, B and C.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45"Your son or daughter will always have a level of reliance on you."
0:07:47 > 0:07:51I was hard with Adele when she was little because I had to be hard,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55because...I wanted her to be hard,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57and think, "Yeah, I am like everyone else."
0:07:59 > 0:08:03I used to say to her, "Go on in the street and play with the other kids,"
0:08:03 > 0:08:06and I'd just shut the front door on her.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10If she fell over, I'd go, "Get up", and then she used to look at me
0:08:10 > 0:08:14as if to say, "God, you don't care about me", but I did care about her,
0:08:14 > 0:08:18but I thought that's the only way that she's going to learn.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Adele and Laurence are having their home extended
0:08:30 > 0:08:32to make space for a nursery.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36The baby is going to go in here,
0:08:36 > 0:08:40which is currently the dining room.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46This is a spare room,
0:08:46 > 0:08:49and this would logically be where the baby would go
0:08:49 > 0:08:56but as you can see it's really tight for me to get in there.
0:08:58 > 0:09:04If we had used the spare room for the baby,
0:09:04 > 0:09:09it would have been my perfect excuse
0:09:09 > 0:09:14for not getting up in the middle of the night.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23This is day two of many.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27At least it's getting done.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32You all right?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40It'll be fine. Come on.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50I reckon the next couple of weeks will be hell.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Just, you're not sleeping properly
0:09:56 > 0:09:59because obviously your body's getting prepared for the baby coming.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05You're trying to get on with stuff,
0:10:05 > 0:10:06but it's just...
0:10:06 > 0:10:10easier said than done, isn't it?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I brought the whole roll.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15HE LAUGHS
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I anticipated more grief.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Although his wife doesn't always find him funny...
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Laurence Clark!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28..it's Laurence's job to make people laugh.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31No, I'm not pissed.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33He spends over 100 nights a year
0:10:33 > 0:10:38touring the UK stand-up comedy circuit.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43This is actually how I talk all the time.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Glad you find it funny.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Bit of a plus as a comic, I find.
0:10:51 > 0:10:58I wanted to do drama but I was put off that at every turn
0:10:58 > 0:11:00by parents,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03by teachers, by careers advisers,
0:11:03 > 0:11:06saying, "You'll never get any work".
0:11:06 > 0:11:11After several sell-out shows in Edinburgh,
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Laurence is set to spend a month at the festival later in the year,
0:11:14 > 0:11:16just weeks after Adele's due date.
0:11:18 > 0:11:24When we tell people we're expecting - my wife has cerebral palsy too -
0:11:24 > 0:11:26and you get two reactions.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31You get the people that assume we've had it on IVF
0:11:31 > 0:11:36because we couldn't possibly have had it the natural way, could we?
0:11:36 > 0:11:41Or, you get the others that smile and say congratulations,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43but their eyes...
0:11:43 > 0:11:48Their eyes are saying, "How the fuck did they manage that?"
0:11:56 > 0:11:59I've always had cerebral palsy. I've always been like this.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02I've got nothing to compare it to,
0:12:02 > 0:12:07so I don't really spend my life thinking, "I wish I could walk",
0:12:07 > 0:12:11or "I wish I could do this or that", because...
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I'm happy the way I am.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22Like Adele, Laurence's cerebral palsy was caused by complications during his birth.
0:12:22 > 0:12:30It was New Year's Eve and, when she went into labour, my Mum,
0:12:30 > 0:12:35the doctors and nurses were celebrating New Year
0:12:35 > 0:12:38in the time-honoured tradition.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44She buzzed for help and the staff were drunk,
0:12:44 > 0:12:47and didn't take her seriously,
0:12:47 > 0:12:52so I moved into the breech position.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57A lack of oxygen during the birth
0:12:57 > 0:13:00caused my cerebral palsy,
0:13:00 > 0:13:06and she had to argue to get them to resuscitate me.
0:13:07 > 0:13:14They said I'd probably have learning difficulties,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16wouldn't be able to get around,
0:13:16 > 0:13:21wouldn't be able to take care of myself,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23and be incontinent.
0:13:23 > 0:13:31In fact, I think they actually used the word "vegetable" to my mum.
0:13:34 > 0:13:40I think at the time for her it was obviously pretty traumatic.
0:13:40 > 0:13:47It's something that I think she still struggles with.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I think those are both in Florida, aren't they?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52It's Busch Gardens.
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Yes, Busch Gardens.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I never looked to the future at all
0:13:57 > 0:14:00because there was a lot of negativity in those days.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I think everybody's a lot more enlightened now,
0:14:03 > 0:14:08but I didn't look to the future, and the only way I could deal with it
0:14:08 > 0:14:10was to deal with what was going on at the time.
0:14:10 > 0:14:17But my one hope inside was that you would meet somebody one day -
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I wasn't even thinking of marriage - but have a partner,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23and have a healthy sex life,
0:14:23 > 0:14:26and for your mother to think that is horrific!
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Most young men would cringe at the thought but I really, truly...
0:14:30 > 0:14:32I probably would have!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34You would have done! You would have done!
0:14:34 > 0:14:40It was the best day of my life when you brought Adele home to meet me.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Stand there and I'll see if I can kick it to you. You ready?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Yeah!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54For Tom, the fact his mum and dad are disabled
0:14:54 > 0:14:57is just part of everyday life.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59That's Mum, that's Dad, that's baby.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Is Daddy in a car?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05It's his wheelchair.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09It's his wheelchair.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12So, do you know why Daddy has a wheelchair?
0:15:12 > 0:15:16He didn't come out of Grandma's tummy in time.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21And do you know why Mummy has a stick?
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Because...
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I don't know exactly.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28Can you tell me?
0:15:30 > 0:15:34I don't think it's been really since he's gone to school
0:15:34 > 0:15:39and started forming, you know, friendships and interacting, really,
0:15:39 > 0:15:44that he's begun to recognise any difference.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Because I remember not long after him starting reception,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50round the tea table one night,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53he asked when he was going to get his wheelchair.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Yeah.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Is this a bib?- Yeah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Put them all in neat for Mum.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04What do you think it's going to feel like when the baby's coming?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Well, I think when he's coming out of Mummy's tummy,
0:16:09 > 0:16:14it might hurt a little bit because he's got to find his way out,
0:16:14 > 0:16:19but I hope when he does come it'll make us all really happy.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21You said the baby has to find a way out -
0:16:21 > 0:16:24the doctor can't just get it out?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Well, it's a bit of both.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29He has to wriggle down so he can get out.
0:16:29 > 0:16:35So you're saying the doctor makes a special hole in your belly
0:16:35 > 0:16:37and then the baby can get through?
0:16:37 > 0:16:42Um, sometimes. That's how you were born. You were born by caesarean
0:16:42 > 0:16:45because you were lying the wrong way round,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47so they gave Mummy a little operation
0:16:47 > 0:16:51where they cut her tummy and reached you out,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54but this time the baby will try and find his own way out,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57with a little bit of help from the hospital.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Adele doesn't know what impact her cerebral palsy will have
0:17:01 > 0:17:02on a natural birth.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05My impairment mainly affects my lower limbs,
0:17:05 > 0:17:10and one of the things that does worry me a little bit
0:17:10 > 0:17:14is whether my hips will cope with the pushing mechanism.
0:17:14 > 0:17:20You've got to be able to push and use gravity to get the baby out.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24I just want to try and experience it in the same way most women do.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27She says, "I really want to try, Mum.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31"I really want to try and have this baby naturally,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34"and not have any pain relief."
0:17:34 > 0:17:37I'm made up that she's going to try,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39but I'm also really worried
0:17:39 > 0:17:43because I don't want her to suffer, and I don't want the baby to suffer.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Laurence and Adele are meeting the hospital's consultant midwife
0:17:54 > 0:17:56to discuss a birth plan.
0:17:56 > 0:18:03I'm really keen to try naturally because this baby will be our last,
0:18:03 > 0:18:09and, from our point of view, we don't want anything spectacularly different
0:18:09 > 0:18:11than what any other family would want.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14OK. What sort of labour did your mum have?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17I was early. I was two months prem.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21The labour was pretty traumatic, hence my impairment.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23That's what caused the CP.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25OK. Was it a vaginal birth then?
0:18:25 > 0:18:26It was, yeah.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I was only two pounds, so there wasn't much of me to get out.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30OK, OK.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You said that your mum had a traumatic time -
0:18:32 > 0:18:35are you anxious about going through it, or are you quite chilled?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I'm chilled about it.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- And how are you about it, Laurence? Are you quite chilled?- Yeah, fine.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43So, the options really...
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Unfortunately, I don't think we'd be in a position to offer you water.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50So, why is that not an option?
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Well, mainly because the issue would be you getting in and out of it,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59so we could explore that and try you getting in and out of the pool.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00As far as...
0:19:00 > 0:19:01What about armbands?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04You can wear armbands if you want to.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08You won't be getting in the pool, my dear.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- People do get their partners in. - Gross!- It's something to think about.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15People do get their mum in or their partner in... It's a big pool.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Let's hope I don't go blooming flying now.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Can you lift that leg on your own, or would need to help you?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27TOM: Are you going to put water in?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30No! I hope not.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31How was your hip during that?
0:19:31 > 0:19:32It was fine.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34If you just lower yourself down...
0:19:34 > 0:19:36that'll be it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I like the idea of water.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Oh, yeah.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Yeah, I think that'd be fine.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45I mean, obviously I haven't got labour pains at the moment,
0:19:45 > 0:19:48so getting in might not be as smooth as it was just then.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52As you can see, it'd be big enough for you, Laurence, if you wanted to.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Yeah...
0:19:53 > 0:19:58We decided to opt for a water birth
0:19:58 > 0:20:01and the hospital asked,
0:20:01 > 0:20:06did I want to get in the pool with Adele during the birth?
0:20:06 > 0:20:11I have to say, I wasn't that keen.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I can't swim.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18I just sink like a stone
0:20:18 > 0:20:22and I didn't want the first thing my newborn son saw
0:20:22 > 0:20:24as he came out
0:20:24 > 0:20:28to be his father in kids' arm bands.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29LAUGHTER
0:20:32 > 0:20:37Or, for that matter, his father drowning
0:20:37 > 0:20:42- whilst choking on his afterbirth. - LAUGHTER
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Aw, that's nice. I like that.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- It's 55, though, Mum. - That's all right.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54I can't wait for the day she goes into labour though because
0:20:54 > 0:20:57I'm looking forward to going in the room with her just holding her hand.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Not that she'll hold my hand, like.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03She'll probably shout at me.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08You just have to put up with it, don't you? Go in one ear, out the other and over the top of your head.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- I'm getting them!- Oh, just throw them on.- No, you're not.- Just leave it.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Mum, stop it!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16I think when Adele goes into labour I will worry
0:21:16 > 0:21:21because I think it's only a mother's way to worry.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22You know, you're worried about her
0:21:22 > 0:21:25because you don't want to see your little girl in pain.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28At the end of the day, she's still my baby having a baby.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Thanks, Mum.- Don't cry. What you crying for?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- They're guaranteed five years. - Yeah.
0:21:41 > 0:21:46Over the last couple of days, we've kind of had a little bit of a wobble
0:21:46 > 0:21:51and thought, "God, I don't know whether I'm better opting for a section."
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I don't know whether it's just me having a panic moment,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58but obviously my condition affects my hips.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02And obviously I'm quite small in stature,
0:22:02 > 0:22:09so maybe my pelvis isn't designed to get something this big
0:22:09 > 0:22:12out of something this small, do you know what I mean?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14So... Oh, I don't know.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21So, do you know how many sleeps it is till your brother comes?
0:22:21 > 0:22:26- Mum knows.- 25 sleeps if he comes on his due date.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31- I hope he doesn't come out like Daddy did.- What do you mean?
0:22:31 > 0:22:36- He didn't come out in time. - Oh, you mean Daddy was late?- Yeah.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40I hope he doesn't come late either. Jeez...
0:22:40 > 0:22:44He's heard your mum say things like, "Oh, Daddy was overcooked."
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Yeah.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50He doesn't mean it with any malice, does he?
0:22:50 > 0:22:55He doesn't mean it with any malice and he is only young
0:22:55 > 0:23:01so, yeah. It doesn't upset me or anything.
0:23:08 > 0:23:14Two days before the due date and Adele has gone into labour.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17As soon as she phoned, I jumped out the bed.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18I said, "I'm coming down right now!"
0:23:18 > 0:23:22I'm like this with the eyeliner, putting the eyeliner on!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26I can hear someone screaming. That's not what I need right now.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- NURSE:- Don't listen - it puts people off!
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Do you want to stand up?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Because Tom was a planned caesarean,
0:23:37 > 0:23:41this is the first time Adele has experienced contractions.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Breathe in. That's it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52I get the better end of the deal, don't I?
0:23:52 > 0:23:54I was thinking in the house,
0:23:54 > 0:23:59"God, if they're this painful now how the hell am I going to get him out?"
0:23:59 > 0:24:04With the aid of drugs and water hopefully!
0:24:04 > 0:24:08If someone else comes in and gets that pool, they'll be murder!
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Maybe we can go and put a towel down?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Stake a claim!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Just sit there for a minute while we get your thing, Adele.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Adele's waters have just broken.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's still slippy.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- It's a bit wet still.- Oh, is it? - Yeah, on the floor.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38But it looks like there might be a problem with her labour.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Unfortunately the baby's had a little poo inside Mum
0:24:42 > 0:24:46so that does tell us that the baby's been a little bit unhappy at some stage
0:24:46 > 0:24:49for whatever reason, so as a precaution we're just putting her
0:24:49 > 0:24:54on the monitor just to assess the heartbeat continuously just to make sure everything's OK.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02OK? Come on. You'll be fine. This is just all precaution.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Only a boy would open his bowels in his mother.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09THEY LAUGH
0:25:14 > 0:25:17The most important thing is that he comes in one piece
0:25:17 > 0:25:21and I'd never forgive myself if something happened.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24If the baby's situation improves,
0:25:24 > 0:25:28then Adele still has a chance at a natural birth.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30You go down and get some food.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33You need to eat cos you're going to need your energy.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38- Trust me - when I'm pushing, you cannot move away from my side.- OK.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48I'm just absolutely exhausted.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I wish I could sleep for an hour without the pain
0:25:51 > 0:25:54and then wake up feeling a bit more vitalised.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58After 18 hours of labour,
0:25:58 > 0:26:02the consultant midwife has bad news for Adele.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Not progressed.
0:26:04 > 0:26:09So, no change in the cervix, in fact Jo's saying it's going the other way
0:26:09 > 0:26:14which fits with a baby's head that isn't sitting nicely on your cervix.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16So if we go for the decision for a section now,
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Jo and I can talk to delivery suite. We can get that moving.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23It's not going to be classed as an emergency section, Adele, because we're not concerned about you
0:26:23 > 0:26:26but I'm conscious it's now 5:30pm and we want the consultant
0:26:26 > 0:26:30to do it, so I suspect we'll be taking you over in the next hour.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32You did really well, Adele.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00I just can't...
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Bit disappointed because
0:27:08 > 0:27:15obviously we wanted a natural birth
0:27:15 > 0:27:21if possible, but also gave it the best shots.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33Laurence, we've just twigged actually that it would be better for us
0:27:33 > 0:27:38if we could put you in one of our wheelchairs to take you into theatre.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- Is that going to be difficult? - It really is.- That's why I'm asking the question.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46Because that's like surrendering all my autonomy.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- OK. Don't worry.- Thanks.- OK.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54They'll be concerned about the wheels
0:27:54 > 0:27:59because obviously you can't put these attractive polythene bags
0:27:59 > 0:28:02on the wheels.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05- I'm just going to wipe the wheels.- OK.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- Is that OK?- Yeah, fine. - Are you sure?- Yeah, yeah.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10And I'll just get you to move in a second.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14- It's very clean. - HE LAUGHS
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Very clean.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21- Thank you.- No problem.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23HE LAUGHS
0:28:35 > 0:28:39Moments after, Laurence is called into theatre. His son is born.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Oh, he's beautiful, love.
0:28:45 > 0:28:46BABY CRIES
0:28:46 > 0:28:50Wave to Daddy. Say hello to Daddy.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53Oh, he's beautiful.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56He's breathing and he's all right.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00It felt like an eternity, waiting for him to cry.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- Hello!- He's lovely.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07- Are you all right taking him a little bit closer to Adele?- Yeah.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18I can't get over how much like Tom he is.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Well, we were going to name him on what he looked like,
0:29:21 > 0:29:26but he looks like a Tom and we've got one of them.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- Adele?- Yeah.- Ten pounds, one and a half ounces.
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Well done.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35- Which way do you want him? - Erm, with his head this side.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- Thank you.- OK?- Yes.- Proud Dad.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00I'm sore and exhausted,
0:30:00 > 0:30:02but I'm made up with him.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05I just can't stop looking at him.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08I was pleased with how I was supported
0:30:08 > 0:30:13cos they really did support me to try and do the whole natural thing
0:30:13 > 0:30:16and it just wasn't to be in the end.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24In the end I thought, "If she doesn't have a caesarean section now
0:30:24 > 0:30:29"something really bad's going to happen." I really had that horrible feeling.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33I just felt... It was overwhelming
0:30:33 > 0:30:36because she'd been in that much pain all day
0:30:36 > 0:30:40and she'd struggled and didn't really have any pain relief.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43She had just paracetamol, really.
0:30:43 > 0:30:48And then seeing her struggle like that just made me really feel sick.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Brought back memories of when she had all her operations
0:30:50 > 0:30:53and all the pain she's been through throughout her life,
0:30:53 > 0:30:55but she held on in there. I thought she done really well.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01Hello, baby. Oh, my God...
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Oh, isn't he gorgeous?
0:31:07 > 0:31:11Oh, my God. He's little Tom all over again!
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Are you all right? Eh?
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Oh, isn't he lovely?
0:31:22 > 0:31:25Probably need a bit of help to get off the bed.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27That's absolutely fine, honey.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31It's always a bit scary at first getting out the bed
0:31:31 > 0:31:35cos you've got a scar and it's the second time for me.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38And on top of, like, having mobility issues anyway
0:31:38 > 0:31:41I know I'm going to be sore.
0:31:41 > 0:31:46- I'll work with you as best I can. - OK. That's fine.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50We just need you to bring your legs round.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Adele is getting out of bed in the hope of taking a shower.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08But it quickly becomes apparent
0:32:08 > 0:32:12that it might be too soon for Adele to become mobile.
0:32:12 > 0:32:13It hurts.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16- The pain.- I know, Adele, I know.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21No. No! I'm going, I'm going, I'm going...
0:32:22 > 0:32:25- NURSE:- God, you've been through hell and back, Adele.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28- NURSE:- I'm not surprised you feel dizzy.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38Adele just goes pale when she's going to faint and I just thought,
0:32:38 > 0:32:40"She's going to faint any minute."
0:32:40 > 0:32:43She couldn't get in the shower, so we just rung for the nurse
0:32:43 > 0:32:45but she was screaming for me, so...
0:32:45 > 0:32:46We just got her in the wheelchair.
0:32:46 > 0:32:50She's desperate for a shower and she's panicking now
0:32:50 > 0:32:54that she's not going to get well to look after the baby.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58She did it all with Tom. She can do it again, can't she?
0:33:01 > 0:33:04Come on. You're going to be all right.
0:33:04 > 0:33:05Come on. Your mum's here.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07I'm not going to leave you on your own, am I?
0:33:07 > 0:33:11I'm just frightened, Mum, in case I can't get mobile again.
0:33:11 > 0:33:15You will get mobile. Don't be daft.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19God, you've done everything else in your life, haven't you, without help?
0:33:22 > 0:33:26You've missed it all, mate. You've been asleep.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28My legs are heavy anyway
0:33:28 > 0:33:34and they're still like lead from the epidural
0:33:34 > 0:33:37plus I've got the section scar.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39It all builds on top of one another.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44I'm just really frightened.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03I did admire her for really wanting to try,
0:34:03 > 0:34:07for wanting to experience a natural birth.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11Were you relieved Adele had her caesarean in the end?
0:34:11 > 0:34:15Definitely, yes. Because I've done it both ways
0:34:15 > 0:34:21and obviously when it was Laurence that's what happened
0:34:21 > 0:34:24and so Laurence had to be resuscitated.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36OK, we've just got a few boring questions before we start.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39How's he feeding? Is he feeding well on the breast?
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Before Adele can leave hospital, the paediatrician
0:34:41 > 0:34:45- needs to examine the baby.- Have you seen a baby check before?
0:34:45 > 0:34:47- Yeah, it's a little while, but yeah.- OK.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50OK. So he holds himself really beautifully.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53Nice and bent arms and legs like that. The mouth is good.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57He's got a nice palette with no holes or clefts or anything like that.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00He doesn't have any turning in of the feet or...
0:35:00 > 0:35:05As he was doing it I was wondering, "God, I wonder what mine was like!"
0:35:05 > 0:35:07HE LAUGHS
0:35:14 > 0:35:17Hello, sweetheart. Your brother's home.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21He's never seen our house before, has he?
0:35:21 > 0:35:25I'm happy the baby's come home.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29And Tom's little brother now has a name - Jamie.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31He's cute.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37He might be dreaming of drinking milk.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51BABY POOS
0:35:51 > 0:35:53HE LAUGHS
0:35:53 > 0:35:57I like to stand back and just see where help's needed
0:35:57 > 0:36:00and stay in the background and let them get on with it.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04They're both so capable and so confident
0:36:04 > 0:36:07when they're in their own home.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11I just want to be there and mostly I'm making sure Tom's OK.
0:36:14 > 0:36:19Laurence and Adele need to find an accessible way to bath Jamie.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22- How's that look? - That should be fine.
0:36:22 > 0:36:27They've decided the rise and fall worktop in the kitchen is a good place to start.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30Run out of workspace - as big as the kitchen is.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34This will be Jamie's first bath at home.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36I'm nervous.
0:36:36 > 0:36:40It's been a long time since I've done it.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42BABY CRIES
0:36:44 > 0:36:49Please take it to Mummy. It's giving me a headache!
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Ta.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56- Do you want me to help?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59I don't think he likes baths.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03- Neither do you. - HE LAUGHS
0:37:03 > 0:37:05Aw...
0:37:07 > 0:37:10OK? BABY CRIES
0:37:14 > 0:37:17I'm sorry, sweetie. Can you hold that?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20You've got to give him right.
0:37:20 > 0:37:25- Go on.- You've got to give him right. - It's just not working for me.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28I'm frightened of that there.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30I'm really conscious we're on a tile floor, you know,
0:37:30 > 0:37:33and I'm only just mobilising but...
0:37:33 > 0:37:35BABY CRIES
0:37:56 > 0:37:58There you go.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04Just hold his head up.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08I'm just really worried, Laurie.
0:38:08 > 0:38:14- I don't like handling him when he's slippy.- OK.
0:38:14 > 0:38:15Have you got him?
0:38:15 > 0:38:17No, Laurie, have you got him?
0:38:19 > 0:38:21I'm slipping.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23- Have you got him?- Yeah.
0:38:27 > 0:38:34- Oh, my lovely!- I've got him. Got him.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Hooray! First bath!
0:38:39 > 0:38:43This kitchen's sort of new, so they're, like, exploring
0:38:43 > 0:38:49new ways of doing it and only they can do it.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51It's awful for me, cos I stand in the wings
0:38:51 > 0:38:56and I want to go and help, but I can't.
0:38:56 > 0:39:01You find the best ways to do things
0:39:01 > 0:39:07and they may not always look to other people
0:39:07 > 0:39:10the best way,
0:39:10 > 0:39:14but I know my own body, I know my own balance,
0:39:14 > 0:39:22obviously, I'm not going to take risks with my newborn son.
0:39:23 > 0:39:30'That, I think, is hard for some people to get their heads around.'
0:39:30 > 0:39:33There we are.
0:39:34 > 0:39:38Shaken but not stirred!
0:39:55 > 0:39:56It's two weeks since the birth,
0:39:56 > 0:40:00and Laurence is about to change his first nappy.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03This could be a disaster.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10How come you haven't changed a nappy so far?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Cos I'm good at avoidance!
0:40:20 > 0:40:25Actually, this is the really easy part of it,
0:40:25 > 0:40:27but so is being a bloke.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31Here she is.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33BABY GRIZZLES
0:40:33 > 0:40:36It's hard when he wriggles.
0:40:36 > 0:40:41Oh, Daddy's gagging, Daddy's gagging!
0:40:41 > 0:40:44Oh! Oh, dear!
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Daddy has to do it sometimes.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50That was a bit of a nasty one, wasn't it?
0:40:57 > 0:41:01I just had my baby delivered
0:41:01 > 0:41:03at an NHS hospital.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06As you can probably imagine,
0:41:06 > 0:41:12the wife is over the moon that I'm here with you tonight doing comedy,
0:41:12 > 0:41:16instead of back home on baby duty.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Laurence is rehearsing the show
0:41:19 > 0:41:23that he's about to take to the Edinburgh Festival for a month.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26I mean, I knew he'd do the Fringe this year
0:41:26 > 0:41:30and his comedy's developed so much lately as well,
0:41:30 > 0:41:34it would have been a missed opportunity for him not doing it.
0:41:34 > 0:41:40But I'm obviously going to be more emotional and stuff this time,
0:41:40 > 0:41:43because when they're babies, they change so much as well,
0:41:43 > 0:41:46so I feel like it's going to be a big chunk
0:41:46 > 0:41:48that Laurence is going to miss.
0:41:50 > 0:41:54'It will be hard. I mean, I'm a wreck when he goes anyway.'
0:41:54 > 0:41:58Sshh, sshh, sshh.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Hi, Laurence.
0:42:02 > 0:42:06- Hello, darling. Are you all right? - Yeah.
0:42:06 > 0:42:11It's Laurence's last morning at home before he leaves for Edinburgh.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13- I just need space. - Don't cry.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Come on.
0:42:15 > 0:42:19- I'm only putting my arm around you. - Mum, I just need space.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22- I just want to be left. - Do you want me to go, then?
0:42:22 > 0:42:25No, I'm just saying, don't overcrowd me.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34You look after Mummy.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Yeah, and watch this.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- TOM BLOWS A RASPBERRY - Thank you.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59'If he didn't do it, we'd be up the stream without a paddle.'
0:42:59 > 0:43:03He has to do it, you know. When I married him, in our wedding vows,
0:43:03 > 0:43:07we said we'd support each other to do what we wanted to do,
0:43:07 > 0:43:08but it doesn't make it any easier.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11- SHE SOBS - Come on.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21'Adele was very upset.
0:43:21 > 0:43:27'Yes, it's hard leaving them for four weeks,'
0:43:27 > 0:43:29but it's part of the job as well.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34'I suppose I have got the luxury'
0:43:34 > 0:43:39of four weeks of uninterrupted sleep at night,
0:43:39 > 0:43:43which... Yeah.
0:43:43 > 0:43:45BABY CRIES
0:43:54 > 0:43:58I'm also going to be reading funny stuff as well,
0:43:58 > 0:44:04such as this quote from that well-known luminary...
0:44:04 > 0:44:07Duncan from Blue,
0:44:07 > 0:44:10who said recently,
0:44:10 > 0:44:15"A lot of my fans have got cerebral palsy, but you know what?
0:44:15 > 0:44:18"I love people with disabilities.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21"It's just in my nature. I'm like a magnet to them."
0:44:21 > 0:44:26LAUGHTER
0:44:26 > 0:44:29And if all his fans are in wheelchairs,
0:44:29 > 0:44:34how come his most famous song is called All Rise?
0:44:35 > 0:44:37All right.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Tom!
0:44:41 > 0:44:43That's a lot better.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46What the fuck is a normal mentality?
0:44:53 > 0:44:57PHONE RINGS
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Hello, Dad.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03Hi, Tom. What are you doing up this late?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05'It's past your bedtime.'
0:45:05 > 0:45:09- Past mine? Yeah, way past. - Come on, Tom,
0:45:09 > 0:45:12- I need to talk to Dad.- OK, bye. - Say "love you".
0:45:12 > 0:45:13Love you, bye.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15Bye. Love you.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17- Ooh, hello.- You all right?
0:45:17 > 0:45:20Knackered! I need my bed now, but all right.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24I managed to get a three hour block
0:45:24 > 0:45:28last night though. And I went to my mum's for some tea,
0:45:28 > 0:45:29so at least I've had a meal today.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34That's good.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37- 'And...'- Sorry, Laurie. Tom, you need to go in bed.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42No, you have to leave it now, it's far too late. In bed, please.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46I think I can hear Jamie mooching anyway,
0:45:46 > 0:45:47so if it's all right with you,
0:45:47 > 0:45:51I'm going to go, cos I haven't had a sleep today.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53OK. Love you.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55OK, love you. Miss you.
0:45:55 > 0:45:56Love you. Bye.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08After three weeks apart,
0:46:08 > 0:46:11the family are reunited with a trip to Edinburgh.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15- Hi!- Hi!
0:46:15 > 0:46:16Hi, Daddy.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Some people will be of the opinion that we shouldn't have kids,
0:46:29 > 0:46:33but, you know, what can you do to change that?
0:46:33 > 0:46:37We've chosen to have a family and we manage just fine.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40A lot of children don't get the things they need
0:46:40 > 0:46:43from the parental home, like love and attention
0:46:43 > 0:46:45and our boys will always get that,
0:46:45 > 0:46:49so is our impairment an issue?
0:46:49 > 0:46:51I don't think
0:46:51 > 0:46:56we're particularly special or unique or anything,
0:46:56 > 0:47:00but I do think,
0:47:00 > 0:47:03because of the perception
0:47:03 > 0:47:11that less disabled people have kids,
0:47:11 > 0:47:15it's fine to have kids and relationships.
0:47:15 > 0:47:21I would never want my experience to be viewed as triumph over adversity,
0:47:21 > 0:47:23cos I'm not doing anything extra special.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25I'm just living my life, you know,
0:47:25 > 0:47:30I've got a loving partner and two kids and that's it.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34You know, when they come to leave home, they might buy houses
0:47:34 > 0:47:37that are completely inaccessible so we can't get in
0:47:37 > 0:47:40and see what they're up to, you know what I mean?
0:47:41 > 0:47:45But hopefully, they won't make a big issue of it.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47We'll just be Mum and Dad.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50LAURENCE CHUCKLES
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd