0:00:11 > 0:00:13Children who are raised in an orphanage,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15they're left on their own.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16When they're really upset,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20they don't have somebody they know they can go to for help,
0:00:20 > 0:00:24'which the science of the last 60 years has taught us is really
0:00:24 > 0:00:26'crucial for a child's development.
0:00:31 > 0:00:36'When I'm upset and I need somebody to hold me, it doesn't happen.
0:00:38 > 0:00:43'And the world can be very scary, and what I do is
0:00:43 > 0:00:48'I develop a protective wall around myself and I just depend on myself.'
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Cami.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17'Having a relationship with one or a few very specific people is
0:01:17 > 0:01:21'absolutely crucial to a child's developing brain.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23'And if the child
0:01:23 > 0:01:25'doesn't have that partner,
0:01:25 > 0:01:27'then those neural networks don't get laid down.'
0:01:30 > 0:01:33WOMAN IN TRANSLATION:
0:01:38 > 0:01:40MASHA:
0:01:53 > 0:01:59Obviously, we cannot use real human mothers and human babies
0:01:59 > 0:02:03but we think we have the best possible substitute.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09This tells us something about the importance of love
0:02:09 > 0:02:12in the development of a child's personality.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18Let's see whether or not these orphans of ours, who have had
0:02:18 > 0:02:21no affection at all, can learn to love.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57'Scientists have been investigating parent-child
0:02:57 > 0:02:59'love for about 60 years now.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01'About 12 years ago,'
0:03:01 > 0:03:04some colleagues of mine and myself developed
0:03:04 > 0:03:07an intervention programme that's based on that research.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Hi, there! Whoa. Hey. Hi there!
0:03:11 > 0:03:16Hi, Nicole, right? And Bob? A pleasure. Come on in.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18We have a very excited dog.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21This is Cami. I'm Bob. Cami? Bob? I'm Cami.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Why don't we start by you telling us a little bit of your histories?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29We used to work at Disney, at Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32We always had the vision of having four children
0:03:32 > 0:03:34and, for whatever reason...
0:03:34 > 0:03:36We did have some miscarriages, and that
0:03:36 > 0:03:38was a dream of ours,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41to really get four children and be able to grow
0:03:41 > 0:03:43a family like this,
0:03:43 > 0:03:47so this is truly a dream come true, without a doubt.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52ROBERT: 'I don't see it as my role to tell a family what to do.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55'When I found out that they were going to adopt three Russian
0:03:55 > 0:03:59'orphans at the same time, my job at that point wasn't to go to them
0:03:59 > 0:04:01'and say, "No, no, don't do it.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04'It's my job and it's Nicole's job to help them'
0:04:04 > 0:04:06understand some of the special things that we've
0:04:06 > 0:04:11discovered about kids who have been neglected and then adopted
0:04:11 > 0:04:15You're going to bring three kids home at once.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17I mean, one is a big enough deal.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Mm-hm. Three is really something.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21It would be a good idea if we talked a little bit
0:04:21 > 0:04:24about what it would mean on a weekly basis, or whatever.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27If you and Nicole do this work
0:04:27 > 0:04:31she'd be the one who would actually be face to face working with you...
0:04:31 > 0:04:33OK. ..and she and I would be consulting.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34OK.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36NICOLE: 'One of the things that could happen once
0:04:36 > 0:04:38'the children are here, it would
0:04:38 > 0:04:42'appear that Cami will be very accommodating and really welcoming.'
0:04:42 > 0:04:43She knows how important
0:04:43 > 0:04:45this is to her parents.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46She hears the story of
0:04:46 > 0:04:48ten years of trying,
0:04:48 > 0:04:5011 years of wanting to bring
0:04:50 > 0:04:52another child into the world,
0:04:52 > 0:04:54and I think she's very connected to that.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Up until maybe the beginning of the year, I just thought,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01"You know, it's really not going to happen."
0:05:01 > 0:05:04But then we got the news and just been so overjoyed that
0:05:04 > 0:05:09I'm going to be sharing a bond with two little boys and a sister.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13ROBERT: 'One of the things that we are kind of alerted to
0:05:13 > 0:05:15'is that both of the Diaz parents -
0:05:15 > 0:05:18'in fact, all three of them -
0:05:18 > 0:05:22'have a very idealised view of what's going to happen.'
0:05:22 > 0:05:27The question is, if their hopes don't turn out to be the reality,
0:05:27 > 0:05:29are they going to crash?
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Once we saw Maria's picture,
0:05:32 > 0:05:35once we knew that Maria was going to be part of this equation,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38we were destined at that point and then we just needed to find those
0:05:38 > 0:05:43other two that would be a younger sibling set
0:05:43 > 0:05:46to round out the picture.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49WOMAN IN TRANSLATION:
0:06:08 > 0:06:14I felt this is it, this is my family, this is perfect.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Couldn't get anything more perfect.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46ROBERT: Some of the early scientists had some pretty crazy
0:06:46 > 0:06:50ideas about how parent-child relationships should work.
0:06:51 > 0:06:57'Refrain from hugging, kissing and comforting baby wherever possible.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01'Too much affection will make him neurotic, needy, dependant.'
0:07:01 > 0:07:06The recommendations that were being made by many developmental
0:07:06 > 0:07:09psychologists are so similar to the experience of
0:07:09 > 0:07:11a child in an orphanage.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22WOMAN CALLS TO MASHA IN HER OWN LANGUAGE
0:07:56 > 0:07:59'In the box, there are 12 goslings,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01'six raised by me
0:08:01 > 0:08:03'and six hatched by the mother goose.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05'When the box is raised,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07'the goose calls
0:08:07 > 0:08:09'and all 12 start towards her.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12'I call, and my six goslings follow me.'
0:08:16 > 0:08:18'This is three weeks later.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20'The same thing happens.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24'In the first 24 hours
0:08:24 > 0:08:25'of a gosling's life,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27'it is possible to imprint
0:08:27 > 0:08:29'a mother substitute.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32'After the expiration of this critical period,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35'imprinting can no longer occur '
0:08:37 > 0:08:39This is Marcel. CLAUDIO: Marcel
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Wave, hi! Say hi!
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Vadim? Say hi. CHERYL: Hi!
0:08:48 > 0:08:52It just felt like here it is again, fatherhood,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55and...just got to tell you,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58it was just a very magical moment.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Hi.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19CHERYL: 'This has been a dream for at least ten years
0:09:19 > 0:09:24'and it never feel like it could actually ever be a reality.'
0:09:24 > 0:09:27But now it does and it feels great.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Can we get some hugs? OK.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Yeah, we're a huggy family.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36We're a big hugging family. Love our hugs.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40CAMI: 'At the end of the first day,
0:09:40 > 0:09:45'I was kind of worried that it wasn't going to work.'
0:09:45 > 0:09:50It's kind of like, "Whoa, wait wait. This is all so new.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52"Can we just slow down a little bit?"
0:10:32 > 0:10:35ROBERT: There's a real possibility for Masha
0:10:35 > 0:10:38that her early relationship with Lluba
0:10:38 > 0:10:42may provide her with some underlying patterns of being
0:10:42 > 0:10:47within a relationship that could really help her as she goes
0:10:47 > 0:10:52through this process of becoming a member of this new family.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Do you like Mickey? You know who Mickey Mouse is?
0:10:55 > 0:10:56I don't think so.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58TRANSLATOR ASKS ABOUT MICKEY
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Oh, really? Yeah, we love Mickey.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01I know she knows Mickey Mouse.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06Mickey was my boss for 17 years
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Can you explain that?
0:11:08 > 0:11:12WOMAN TRANSLATES
0:11:12 > 0:11:14So I'm Goofy. Do you know who Goofy is?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17WOMAN TRANSLATES
0:11:17 > 0:11:19"Gosh, everybody. Ah-hyuck!"
0:11:19 > 0:11:23That's Goofy, that's who I am.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26And then Cheryl is Tinkerbell.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28You know who Tinkerbell is? The fairy?
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Pixie. Yeah.
0:11:30 > 0:11:35So that's how we live our life like a Disney family.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37WOMAN TRANSLATES
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Bye-bye.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46God bless you.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Thank you very, very much.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51We will take care of her, I promise you. OK?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19CLAUDIO: Masha? Are you OK?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Masha? Are you OK? Yeah?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Is this fun?
0:13:38 > 0:13:39BOY YELLS
0:13:39 > 0:13:41CAMI: Marcel threw a tantrum
0:13:41 > 0:13:45and screamed his lungs out. And this little old lady
0:13:45 > 0:13:48turned around and she was, like, "You need to be quiet."
0:13:48 > 0:13:52I agreed with her, but I was, at the same time, like,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56"You can just turn around and live through it like the rest of us are,
0:13:56 > 0:13:59"cos he's my brother and I'm the only one who can insult him "
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Masha stole some juice from the airport
0:14:02 > 0:14:05and that's not a good thing.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10CLAUDIO: 'You just don't know if you're communicating.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13'You don't know if they're requesting a sandwich or to go to
0:14:13 > 0:14:18'the toilet or they need a drink of water.'
0:14:18 > 0:14:21All my faculties, from mental,
0:14:21 > 0:14:25emotional, spiritual, were tested.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30'I think Claudio was ready to give up.'
0:14:30 > 0:14:34He said, "Why did we get these kids? It's all your fault.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36"You wanted these kids."
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I said, "No, I thought WE wanted these kids."
0:14:48 > 0:14:50'The reality of how difficult
0:14:50 > 0:14:56'this is going to be hit Cami really hard.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59'She feels this potentially was more'
0:14:59 > 0:15:04than we can handle, and I can't deny I went through it myself,
0:15:04 > 0:15:08wondering if it was really smart of us
0:15:08 > 0:15:13to do so many, especially with these two rambunctious twins.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Hold on, OK?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18There it is.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20That's home.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21HONKS HORN
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Hey! Woo-hoo! Yay, we're home!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Yay!
0:15:26 > 0:15:27HONKS HORN
0:15:27 > 0:15:29OK, OK, that's enough.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30CLAUDIO LAUGHS
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Come here. Through this one.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Already up on the top floor.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41PIANO PLAYS
0:15:50 > 0:15:52THEY LAUGH
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Duc-duc-duc-duc.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59This is Momma and Poppa.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Yeah! Whatever that meant.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11CAMI: When I got home, I really wanted to go "home",
0:16:11 > 0:16:13but now I feel like I can't be myself
0:16:13 > 0:16:17and it's really restricting and it doesn't feel right.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18It doesn't feel like home.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Mmm!
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Watching you like a...
0:16:21 > 0:16:24And who did not wash their feet
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's what I want to know.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28..whoever has the next one.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Listen... We're eating at the table.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40ROBERT: We start this process by filming the family
0:16:40 > 0:16:42interacting with one another.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49"Where's Papa?"
0:16:50 > 0:16:53That's interesting how Masha..
0:16:53 > 0:16:56She's really connecting with Dad.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Yeah, mm-hm.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03All right, follow Masha's lead
0:17:03 > 0:17:05CAMI: That's right, good job.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Always the best.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11NICOLE: "Good job, always the best."
0:17:11 > 0:17:13She's talking about Masha.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17She's saying it to herself but, I mean, she's even saying it out loud.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21Right. Cami's already saying Masha has...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23usurped my position.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25The instability now,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28it's just disconnected all the stable relationships
0:17:28 > 0:17:30and they're all going to
0:17:30 > 0:17:33'need to be reassembled and realigned. Yeah '
0:17:33 > 0:17:34OK, look at me.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Masha, come on, show me your teeth.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Oh, you looked real pretty on that one.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Good night, Masha.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Good night. Good night.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55That's OK? OK. OK.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04ROBERT: 'As families, we all develop patterns of interaction, patterns of
0:18:04 > 0:18:07'relationship and that really offers us
0:18:07 > 0:18:09'a lot of stability and comfort
0:18:12 > 0:18:16'Then you adopt somebody and the family's job, of course
0:18:16 > 0:18:20'is to help this child move into
0:18:20 > 0:18:22'the set of patterns that we expect that
0:18:22 > 0:18:25'a normally developing child has.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28'In other words, the family's job is to teach the child,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31'in a sense, to dance this new dance.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35'Cos the interaction between a parent
0:18:35 > 0:18:40'and a child is like the dance that you might see on a ballroom floor.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44'It's just that intricate, it's that practised,
0:18:44 > 0:18:48'it's that reciprocal, and a lot of a young child's
0:18:48 > 0:18:51'brain development happens in the context of that dance.'
0:18:53 > 0:18:55So here you have these parents
0:18:55 > 0:19:00the Diazs, doing this beautiful job of wanting to come in
0:19:00 > 0:19:02and be close to the child...
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Mash, Mash.
0:19:07 > 0:19:13'..and basically, the message that these parents send is
0:19:13 > 0:19:16'"I want to take down your protective wall.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17'"I want you to dance with me.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23'And the child is like, "Whoa, that's scary."
0:19:28 > 0:19:32'One of the things that will really indicate that this has
0:19:32 > 0:19:36'worked would be that Masha will be able'
0:19:36 > 0:19:39to come to her parents
0:19:39 > 0:19:43and say, "I'm really having trouble with this.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45"This is making me feel horrible."
0:19:46 > 0:19:49'If Masha is not able
0:19:49 > 0:19:53'to make the shift,
0:19:53 > 0:19:55'what all the research in this area would suggest
0:19:55 > 0:20:00'is that she's going to have real difficulties in relationships,
0:20:00 > 0:20:02'especially close relationships '
0:20:51 > 0:20:55So, how are you? It's a really big question.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02I don't know if it's the physical demanding part,
0:21:02 > 0:21:08that now I am being tapped physically beyond the point that I expected.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13It's just constant. It's just non-stop.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15I'm doing OK.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20I just have my times that this is my way of releasing,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23so usually I just do it someplace else.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Is there a reason why sometimes you do it somewhere else?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28I just don't want them to see that.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31And who don't you want to show that to?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33The kids.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34And how about Claudio?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I don't. I don't show it.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43And what is that like for you to hear her say that?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Um...a bit of a surprise,
0:21:48 > 0:21:52although I will tell you I have felt like there have been times when
0:21:52 > 0:21:57I've been carrying a little bit more of a load but it's because the boys
0:21:57 > 0:22:03are physically demanding but I don't want you to feel like you can't. .
0:22:07 > 0:22:09..give me some of your pain.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12I want you to give me some of your pain.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17So, what if you asked him right now, this is what I need from you?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22What I need from you is understanding...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25that this is actually us, not my fault.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27It feels...
0:22:27 > 0:22:30He's said it's my fault and...
0:22:30 > 0:22:38I thought that this was... a team thing.
0:22:38 > 0:22:43So, I just need him to say that we're into this together
0:22:43 > 0:22:49and maybe...let me know that he still loves me.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51What do you need from him right now?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I could use that.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05There are two patterns of behaviour that were first identified
0:23:05 > 0:23:10in children who were raised in orphanages.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14'One where when the child is upset,
0:23:14 > 0:23:18'they inhibit any emotional expression at all.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25'The other form is when kids get distressed, they get very distressed
0:23:25 > 0:23:29'and throw these temper tantrums that seem very contrived
0:23:29 > 0:23:31'and just sort of escalate out of control.'
0:23:31 > 0:23:33HE CRIES
0:23:33 > 0:23:37You hit me. You hit me. You hit Papa.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43'There's a natural human tendency for parents to feel that the child'
0:23:43 > 0:23:45'is doing it'
0:23:45 > 0:23:47because of some negative motivation,
0:23:47 > 0:23:50that they just want attention
0:23:50 > 0:23:52'or they're trying to hurt me
0:23:52 > 0:23:56'but both of those patterns need to be seen as'
0:23:56 > 0:24:00a natural by-product of being raised in an orphanage
0:24:00 > 0:24:04'Masha, when she's distressed she doesn't show it
0:24:04 > 0:24:07'and she works very hard not even to feel it,
0:24:07 > 0:24:11'whereas the boys tend to be more in the other direction
0:24:11 > 0:24:14'of spiralling out of control.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19He took it off and threw it on the ground and started pounding.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20I'm sorry.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Right, I'll take it over. I'll take over from here. I'll do that.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25You go ahead and...
0:24:25 > 0:24:30He's got four more minutes left OK. All right.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33OK. No movement. No movement.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40Stay. Four minutes. Four minutes.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45DOOR BELL RINGS
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Stay in. Let's go.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51HE KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Open up.
0:24:57 > 0:25:02ROBERT: 'From the late 1800s until the 1960s,
0:25:02 > 0:25:08'developmental psychologists really focused on structure and rules.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10'When a child is born,
0:25:10 > 0:25:14'make him understand that you are the one to be obeyed.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17'The absence of discipline in early life
0:25:17 > 0:25:19'are the natural foundations of all failure.'
0:25:19 > 0:25:23'I'm not saying rules are unimportant. Rules are important.'
0:25:23 > 0:25:27'But if you focus just on the rules,'
0:25:27 > 0:25:29where's the emotional connection?
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Where's the attachment? Where's the empathy?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36OK, pick that up. Come here. Pick that up.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40No, no, no, not Marcel. OK. I've got Cami's necklace over here.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Go on. Let's sit down. Pick that up.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48OK? No, that's not going to happen. That's not going to work.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51OK. Before you throw it again..
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Take it. No. Momma made it. That's not going to work, OK?
0:25:58 > 0:25:59No. We'll keep doing this.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08OK, go. Downstairs.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13Yeah.
0:26:13 > 0:26:19CAMI: 'I think my dad's disciplinary actions are a little bit strict
0:26:19 > 0:26:24'compared to my mom's. My mom, I think, kind of, lets things go,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27and my dad's just like, "Oh, you shouldn't do that.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31"You shouldn't do anything, except play with your toys and sleep.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35OK.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38I know.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Nyet, nyet, nyet. No, no, no.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45No, OK. It's too cheap.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56No kicking.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58No.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13How about your dad? See if you can come up
0:27:13 > 0:27:16with five adjectives or words or phrases
0:27:16 > 0:27:18that you think do a good job of describing
0:27:18 > 0:27:20your relationship with your dad
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Unfortunately, the first one is disciplinarian
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Distant.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Um...teacher/student.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Wise...
0:27:36 > 0:27:38and...unaccessible.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Later on, in my teenage years,
0:27:41 > 0:27:45I asked my dad to say, "I love you" to me,
0:27:45 > 0:27:49saying, "Dad, you got to love me. I mean, you're my dad, right?
0:27:49 > 0:27:52"So what is your hesitancy in saying it?"
0:27:52 > 0:27:57How do you think that your childhood experiences with your parents
0:27:57 > 0:28:00has affected how you parent your kids?
0:28:00 > 0:28:04Oh, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree...at all
0:28:09 > 0:28:13'We had our first encounter with the parameters being tested, with Masha.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15'When we first arrived, I told her
0:28:15 > 0:28:18'that, at the top of the hill, the stop sign would be
0:28:18 > 0:28:19'the farthest place she could go.
0:28:25 > 0:28:30'So, yesterday, I'm looking all around for her
0:28:30 > 0:28:33and she had gone beyond the stop sign.
0:28:34 > 0:28:35Masha! Masha!
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Inside, inside.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40Inside, Masha.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I will take it. I will...
0:28:43 > 0:28:44I will take it.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Follow me inside.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54No, you know better.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57ROBERT: 'A key part of the intervention
0:28:57 > 0:29:00'is to identify what kinds of patterns
0:29:00 > 0:29:06'seem to be emerging between the kids and the parents.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09'We videotape the parent and child interacting
0:29:09 > 0:29:12'in a clinic or laboratory setting.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17'And we know that there are certain things that we can look for
0:29:17 > 0:29:22'that will help us figure out where we're going to focus our attention.'
0:29:22 > 0:29:25So you want to play? Play Jenga
0:29:25 > 0:29:30'Then, we sit down with the parent and we review the videotape.'
0:29:32 > 0:29:34'You want to play cards? Do you Mm-hm.'
0:29:34 > 0:29:39OK, what kind of cards? I don't know many card games.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42So, you're playing Jenga and she picks up the cards, like,
0:29:42 > 0:29:45"Are we going to do what YOU want or are we going to do what I want?!"
0:29:45 > 0:29:48And so, you're still at the Jenga, and then...
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Here, I'll play that again.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57'Want to play cards? Mm-hm. Do you? OK, what kind of...'
0:29:57 > 0:29:58So, see her face? Yep.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04As soon as you acknowledged that maybe she would want to go there,
0:30:04 > 0:30:06versus where you wanted to go.. OK.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08..she smiled and put the cards back. Mm.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12That was a small little moment when you could have controlled that. .
0:30:12 > 0:30:15Yeah, sure. ..and just this gentle... It was easy, right?
0:30:15 > 0:30:19It wasn't hard to watch, it was just this easy flow
0:30:19 > 0:30:22and then she just, kind of, set them down. Mm.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46GUITAR STRUMS
0:30:55 > 0:30:56Try it from the start.
0:31:04 > 0:31:08Masha... Play. Play.
0:31:10 > 0:31:11Play.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14PIANO KEYS TINKLING
0:31:19 > 0:31:22HE PLAYS TUNE
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Here. You go.
0:31:37 > 0:31:38Oh, you can go...
0:31:38 > 0:31:41HE PLAYS TUNE
0:31:41 > 0:31:42SHE PLAYS SAME TUNE
0:31:50 > 0:31:52HE ACCOMPANIES HER
0:31:52 > 0:31:54SHE GIGGLES
0:31:56 > 0:31:58BOTH PLAY TOGETHER
0:31:58 > 0:32:01TUNE FALLS AWAY DISCORDANTLY
0:32:03 > 0:32:07SHE PLAYS PIANO SKILFULLY
0:32:13 > 0:32:14My turn?
0:32:16 > 0:32:20HE PLAYS PIANO
0:32:20 > 0:32:23THEY TAKE TURNS PLAYING
0:32:43 > 0:32:44Yippee-ai-ay.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53There they are...at the door.
0:32:53 > 0:32:54Cami!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59How are you? Did you have fun?
0:32:59 > 0:33:00Oh, yeah, it was a good day.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03Up! Up! OK.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10Round and round we go. Papa, no, please!
0:33:10 > 0:33:15Hi, little boy. How are you, hmm? How are you?
0:33:15 > 0:33:19Rumour has it you've been quite the handful today, huh?
0:33:19 > 0:33:25Big hug. Oh, I love that. Oh, you are the best hugger of the group.
0:33:26 > 0:33:31Rumour has it that you have also been a little handful, huh?
0:33:31 > 0:33:34OK, time to go to bed. Let's go
0:33:41 > 0:33:43NICOLE: 'Right now, they're a little closer to Claudio
0:33:43 > 0:33:50'and so, they love their papa and there's that feeling of rejection.'
0:33:57 > 0:33:59You moved two?
0:33:59 > 0:34:03ROBERT: 'I would think that Masha would find it easier
0:34:03 > 0:34:05'to relate to somebody
0:34:05 > 0:34:09'who was more focused on competencies.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12'I think she may be more puzzled by somebody who has a stronger focus
0:34:12 > 0:34:15'on the emotional side.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19'I wouldn't be surprised if she were fully on...
0:34:19 > 0:34:21'more focused on Dad.'
0:34:21 > 0:34:23But that doesn't mean that her relationship with Dad
0:34:23 > 0:34:25in the long run, is the more important one.
0:34:28 > 0:34:29OK.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33'What was that little exchange do you think?'
0:34:33 > 0:34:36CHERYL: 'She was just probably mocking me.'
0:34:36 > 0:34:37'Normally,'
0:34:37 > 0:34:41what connotation, when somebody says, "You're mocking me."?
0:34:41 > 0:34:47Um...anxiety. Like, why are...you doing this?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Like, they're making fun of me. . OK. ...kind of thing.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52What else is she doing here?
0:34:52 > 0:34:55HAPPY PLAY SOUNDS
0:34:58 > 0:35:02She's having fun with the game Is she having fun with the game
0:35:02 > 0:35:05I think. Or maybe me, just playing with me.
0:35:06 > 0:35:08So, say that again.
0:35:08 > 0:35:13That she's having fun with me, as a person.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16And what does that feel like,
0:35:16 > 0:35:22as you see this face and it's you, it's nobody else, right? Yeah.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25That she enjoys my company, that she's... That there is
0:35:25 > 0:35:29a connection there, that even if I didn't see that connection
0:35:29 > 0:35:32there's more of a connection than what I thought there was there,
0:35:32 > 0:35:33at the time.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40ROBERT: 'We used to think
0:35:40 > 0:35:43'what the baby really needed was being fed
0:35:43 > 0:35:46'and that it didn't matter who did it
0:35:46 > 0:35:50'or how many different people did it, as long as the baby got fed
0:35:52 > 0:35:54'What Harlow showed was the basis
0:35:54 > 0:35:57'of the relationship between the baby'
0:35:57 > 0:36:01and parent is this thing that he called "contact comfort".
0:36:02 > 0:36:07DR HARLOW: Let me show you a monkey raised on a nursing wire mother
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Here are 106's two mothers.
0:36:12 > 0:36:17As you can see, it was weaned on a wire mother
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Watch.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24He's going to the wire mother.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Got to feed to live!
0:36:29 > 0:36:34Back on the cloth mother and he'll stay on the cloth mother.
0:36:34 > 0:36:35Actually this baby
0:36:35 > 0:36:39spends 17 to 18 hours a day on the cloth mother,
0:36:39 > 0:36:41less than one hour a day on the wire mother.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44Is it not possible that this is formed
0:36:44 > 0:36:46from a need to cling and cuddle
0:36:46 > 0:36:50A need for contact comfort.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53If it comes to a choice between wire and cloth,
0:36:53 > 0:36:55it's reasonable to expect that any child
0:36:55 > 0:36:56will go to the cloth,
0:36:56 > 0:37:02it's a matter of creature comfort, but is this really love?
0:37:02 > 0:37:07Well, wouldn't you say that if you frightened a baby
0:37:07 > 0:37:09that it went running to its mother,
0:37:09 > 0:37:10was comforted
0:37:10 > 0:37:13and then all the fear disappeared,
0:37:13 > 0:37:16and was replaced by a complete sense of security,
0:37:16 > 0:37:18that baby loved its mother?
0:37:18 > 0:37:20Sure.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21All right.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24The first thing the monkey sees when he enters
0:37:24 > 0:37:26is this fear stimulus.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Just touching the cloth mother holding on to her,
0:37:32 > 0:37:35gives him the confidence
0:37:35 > 0:37:36to examine the very thing
0:37:36 > 0:37:39that previously terrified him so completely.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51Here, I'll start this.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Are you happy? yes, you are. Yes, you are. Good girl.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56MOTOR REVS
0:37:57 > 0:37:59BOY YELLS
0:38:04 > 0:38:06What? HE CRIES
0:38:06 > 0:38:11Machine? Machine? You want machine?
0:38:11 > 0:38:13OK, it's making noise.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15"Waaah!"
0:38:15 > 0:38:16Is that why you're running in?
0:38:18 > 0:38:19Do you want machine?
0:38:19 > 0:38:21OK, let's go.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Come on.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Makes a lot of noise.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34ENGINE REVS
0:38:34 > 0:38:35BOY YELLS
0:38:41 > 0:38:42ENGINE REVS
0:38:42 > 0:38:43BOY CRIES
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Somebody must have been tragic
0:38:54 > 0:38:56with a landscaper or something
0:38:56 > 0:38:58OK, that hold?
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Here goes!
0:39:00 > 0:39:01ENGINE REVS
0:39:03 > 0:39:05ENGINE REVS AND SWITCHES ON
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Look at this. This used to be so big on you.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33You're getting tall.
0:39:34 > 0:39:39One day you'll be taller than Momma, just like Masha and Cami
0:39:43 > 0:39:44BOY CRIES
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Love you. Have a great day.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10I would say she's one of my best friends.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12We have some of the same interests.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14She likes singing and I like singing.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16And she's funny.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19I'm not very funny but I like funny people.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Mason. James.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27Sammy. Ashley.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30'She doesn't get upset, or at least she doesn't show it '
0:40:30 > 0:40:33When you try to talk to her about it, she just...
0:40:33 > 0:40:37is like, "Stop talking, stop talking, it didn't happen.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40"I don't want everybody to know what happened."
0:40:40 > 0:40:42'I don't think she comes home every day and tells her mom
0:40:42 > 0:40:44'all the bad things that happen during our day,
0:40:44 > 0:40:46'cos she is a more positive person.'
0:40:46 > 0:40:49She doesn't want to let her sorrows out on everybody else. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 SHE HUMS 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 ROBERT: 'Humans are wired through evolution to show emotions 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'and when Masha stuffs her feelings 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'she plays a physiological price for it.' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Her body plays a price. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Then the question is, can she have a relationship with somebody 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'where the dance between them re-programmes or rewires her brain.' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Do you want me in? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 What? Show me. What? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 How do you do it? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Show me how you do it the Russian way. The Russian way? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'My research into neuroplasticity in owls suggests that adult owls 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'can rewire their brains much later than we originally thought. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'We attached prisms which adjusted 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'the angle of the owl's vision by 23 degrees. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Younger owls' brains adjusted to facilitate hunting. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Adult brains did not. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'However, later experiments revealed that adult brains could adjust 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'if given time. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'There has been a lot of brain research with non-human animals 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 that helped guide our research with humans. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Humans seem to have a lot more adaptability across the lifespan 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'than many other species. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'There's lots of room for optimism out there but, at the same time 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'there's so much research to do 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'to figure out how much change can take place.' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 THEY HUM SCALES 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 So, during the concert, you have to stay in your area, OK? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You can't go out this way. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It needs to be up or just here with some jazz hands, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 as we like to call them, the jazz hands, right? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK? So SINGS 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Whoo! 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Yeah! 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # I do not like green eggs and ham. # 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK, good job. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I'm very impressed with the quality of her voice and we said, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 '"If you would like to be considered for one of these solos, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 '"just write your name down."' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 She auditioned for a few. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 When the news so bad, when you sour and blue, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 when you start to get mad, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 when you start...to get mad, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 you should do what I do. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 So do you know what it means to be sour and blue? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah. What does it mean to you? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Sad. Very sad. Yeah, that's good. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Do you know what the word "sour" means? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Mm-hm. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I think it's a taste, right? But it's a bad taste. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Mm-hm. And blue is a sad colour 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When the news is so bad 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When you're sour and blue 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When you start to get mad 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # You should do what I do. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Tell... Tell yourself 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # How lucky you are... # 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I would like even more of the sadness. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You're doing a great job with the happiness 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 but the...anger and the sour and blue feelings 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 how would you express those? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 How would you go about trying to do that? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You know? You don't have the slightest clue? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I think it is difficult for her to connect with her emotions. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I felt like we'd started to' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 but it was like, you take a quick peek and then put it back. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Imagine someone that you'd like to sing this to. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It may be... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 somebody out there that you focus on or it may be 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 somebody that's not there, but you're imaging them to be there. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It's my mom. It's your mom? Yeah. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah? And this is going to be, like, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 the grand unveiling of your singing and... Yeah. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 ..it's going to be a wonderful moment for them and for you. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Go! Go, go, go! That's it! 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 CHILDREN: Run! Run! 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 WHISTLE BLOWS 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Everyone! You know what was the best thing about this today? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I did not hear the baton drop. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It's the worst sound in track and field. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Listen to this. BATON CLATTERS 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah, that is a bad sound and we did not hear it today 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 so give yourselves a hand. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 We studied 136 orphans. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Half remained in institutional care 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and half were adopted into high-quality foster care. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 After two years, the children who were adopted into families 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 had improved their IQ by an average of 10 points. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 There was no improvement in the IQ 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 of the children who remained at the orphanage. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 ROBERT: 'As Marcel and Vadim continue to live with this family, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I think there'll be a lot of changes in their pattern of learning 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'and patterns of competency.' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It's called "Q Is For Duck". 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Why would Q be for duck? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Sh. Why do you think, Lauren? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Quiz for a duck. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Ooh, quiz. That starts with Q, good job. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Can you think of anything else that's about duck 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 that starts with qu, qu? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Quack. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Oh, my goodness, good idea. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 So Q isn't for duck, it's for duck because ducks go qu-qu-quack. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK, D is for mole. Why? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I know. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I'm calling on friends for quiet. Why is D for mole? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK, Marcel, why do you think? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Dig! I want to pick a friend. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You want to pick a friend? Pick a friend who can help you today 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Three, two, one... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Andrew. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Why, Andrew? Good job. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Dig. Dig. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah, because a mole can dig. Good job. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Don't walk in yet. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Ready? Walk in. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Mommy! 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 ALL: # Happy Mommy's Day 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Happy Mommy's Day. # 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Mom! Hi, Mommy. Hi. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Happy Mommy's Day. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 We got you a bunch of goodies. Just for you. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Masha, just pull up the... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Thank you. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Whoops, that leg is... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Thank you very much, guys. This is wonderful. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "Mom, I love you so much. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "I love when we have fun together, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "it's good that you are in my life. Masha." 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Thank you. Very beautiful. Ahh 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 So are you nervous about tonight? A little. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 A little? I would be really nervous. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I mean, it's not that bad. Yeah 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 But... It's everybody. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah, exactly. Everybody's singing at the same time, just no worries. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'My mom, when I had my performances,' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 actually only came to one... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and she said, "You did a good job," 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 but she didn't really praise me 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I didn't get that, so I want that for my girls, my boys. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I want Masha to...see that it's OK, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 it's OK to let anything emotional that might be in you out. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Skip, skip, skip to my Lou skip to the Lou, my darling. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Skip, skip, skip to my Lou skip, skip... # 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You guys, have you ever played the quiet game? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Whoever can be the most quiet until we get to Masha's school wins. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 They win a piece of candy. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Piece of candy. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Candy. A piece of candy? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK, one, two, three, go. Go. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Don't worry. Are you really nervous about your solo? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You'll do great. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 This has been one of my favourite pieces to work on with these 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 students and they do a fabulous job at it, so I hope you enjoy it. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When the news is so bad 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When you're sour and blue 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When you start to get mad you should do what I do 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Tell yourself how lucky you are 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When your life's going wrong and the fates are unkind 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # When you're limping along and get kicked from behind 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # Tell yourself how lucky you are 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 # How lucky, how lucky, how lucky how lucky, how lucky you are. # 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I think they like it. Who? My family. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yes, I'm sure they were very surprised. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Masha, that was beautiful. Give me a hug. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Can you give me a hug? Yes. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 That was wonderful. You did so well. Really? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Yeah, I think so. Don't you? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 OK, I want to see my mom. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Ten years without a sibling and now... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Awesome, just to let you know. I did get a video. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 You did a great job. You were, like... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I loved it. Did someone told you that I have solo? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 No. You, like, every day you tell me, they have solo, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 like, like, you know? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Nobody told me you had a solo. You had like a little smile. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 But you did a great job. OK. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Nice meeting you. Nice meeting you too. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 What do you think? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Well, I definitely think she brought her excitement to Mom, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 so she's accepting all of this relationship with Dad 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and she's like, "I want to go see Mom," 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and then she comes over and brings it to Mom. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 And Mom was the one who had a hard time. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 There's so much of a message there from Masha. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I need you to delight in me. Yeah. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Were you delighted? And Mom says the right words, that she was.. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 But then attention shifts and Masha hadn't gotten enough. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 What is it from Mom's own history that puts 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 her in a position of having that reaction at that moment? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Hi. I wanted to give her a hug but I was afraid. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Claudio gives hugs and doesn't even think. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I always am apprehensive, sometimes a little more apprehensive. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I think she could have used a hug there. Mm. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 And believe me, I love to hug. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I just know that she's pushed.. she's pushed me away but, you know, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 the door was open and I could have walked in. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I didn't know that at that time you know? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 What else, when you say, "The door's wide open," 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and she says, "Here I am," what else is she bringing to you and Claudio? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Emotion. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 She's bringing everything that was kind of closed in at the time. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Even later that evening, she showed us that she could cry. Wow. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 It's the first time I've seen her cry. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 She cried and it's not like she was trying to hide it.... 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 There you go. Good job. Come on It's uphill. It's uphill, it's hard. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 ROBERT: 'The last time I saw the family, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'we all went out to dinner together. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I was really encouraged by what I saw. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'I've seen a lot of progress with Masha. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'At the dinner, she encouraged her parents to get 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'out on the dance floor and dance together and they didn't want to. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'She went up to the band leader and asked him' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 to dedicate a song to them 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and he did and sort of called them out onto the dance floor. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'She just stood there watching them for the longest time, 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'just entranced with it and just so happy. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Clearly, she is becoming a member of this family 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'and sees these people as her mom and dad. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Masha was already standing there watching' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 and Cami moved in toward Masha and watched with her. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'These two sisters watching the parents. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'And I wondered, "Gosh, is this a moment? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "Is Cami sending some kind of a signal to Masha and to her 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "parents and even to herself that, 'OK, this is a family now.'" 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Claudio and Cheryl. Yeah. Thank you guys. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Thanks for being here tonight. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 FROM FILM: 'What do you mean by saying that a baby loves its mother?' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 A big hugging family. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'Let's see whether or not these orphans of ours can learn to love.' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Good night, Masha. Good night. Good night. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Love you. Have a great time. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Wonderful. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "Mom, I love you so much. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 "It's good that you are in my life. Masha." 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'You know in the movies sometimes, how mortal enemies 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 'can become best friends, because they realise' 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 that they're actually equal in talent? Does that make sense? 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 That's almost exactly what we are but we're not mortal enemies. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 We're sisters. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 I love my family a lot, like, 1 0%. 24:33:17,465 --> 24:33:17,465 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd