Young, Mormon & Single

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0:00:08 > 0:00:15Duck Beach is a lot of Mormons getting together on a beach.

0:00:15 > 0:00:20Hundreds of singles, from LA to New York, all over across America.

0:00:22 > 0:00:25Duck Beach is single awareness.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28There's all this kind of pressure that gets put on every

0:00:28 > 0:00:30interaction between the sexes.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33I think a lot of people go there, just maybe to like hook up.

0:00:33 > 0:00:39You kind of look back and that cost me 700 to go touch a boob.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Duck Beach is...opportunity,

0:00:41 > 0:00:44cos there's so many people there that are in the same situation.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47I'm not going to Duck Beach to meet anybody.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49I'm not going, hoping that I'll meet somebody.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51I'm not going, attempting to meet somebody.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54To me, the purpose of Duck Beach is going to meet someone

0:00:54 > 0:00:56and finding that eternal companion.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59If anyone says anything different, they're lying.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05The central message of the Church is marriage and family.

0:01:11 > 0:01:17It's been about ten or 12 years that we've had this singles group,

0:01:17 > 0:01:20here on the coast of North Carolina.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22It's a week-long party.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27It's interesting to be in this concentrated social situation

0:01:27 > 0:01:31where you have fairly rigid limitations on how we express ourselves.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34You're not going to find alcohol, you're not going to find drugs.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36You're going to find a lot of cola.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Volleyball, I'm sure. - Pools, hot tubs.- Girls gone mild!

0:01:40 > 0:01:45A bunch of sexually frustrated...Mormon singles

0:01:45 > 0:01:48that may break the rules.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04According to Mormon belief,

0:02:04 > 0:02:08we all existed before this Earth in a spirit world.

0:02:08 > 0:02:12In pre-mortal existence, Jesus presented a plan for us

0:02:12 > 0:02:16to come to Earth and get a body and to become like God,

0:02:16 > 0:02:21making the purpose of life, quite literally, to become a god.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25To do that, we must be baptised, find an eternal companion,

0:02:25 > 0:02:30get married in God's temple and multiply and replenish the Earth.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34When we die, we go to a holding place until Jesus' Second Coming.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37At that time, those who were faithful will be resurrected

0:02:37 > 0:02:40and live on Earth with Him for 1,000 years

0:02:40 > 0:02:43and those who rejected Jesus will be temporarily thrust down to Hell.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46SCREAMS

0:02:46 > 0:02:50At the end of Jesus' 1,000 year reign, there will be a Judgment Day

0:02:50 > 0:02:54where every person will be resurrected and assigned

0:02:54 > 0:02:58a degree of glory based on their choices, actions and belief.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00There are three degrees of glory.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03A Telestial Kingdom is reserved for those who rejected Jesus,

0:03:03 > 0:03:05people who spent 1,000 years being punished in Hell.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07The Terrestrial Kingdom is a wonderful place,

0:03:07 > 0:03:10but void of the presence of God and Jesus Christ.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13The Celestial Kingdom is the highest degree of glory where families

0:03:13 > 0:03:17can be together forever and become perfect, even like God is perfect.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18Those who do not marry in God's temple

0:03:18 > 0:03:21will be barred from the highest level of celestial glory.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26For those that do marry, they will enter into their exultation

0:03:26 > 0:03:30and become as gods and be together for ever as families.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Oh, my God!

0:03:50 > 0:03:54The first thing you got was me over-packed.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57I want to look cute!

0:03:57 > 0:04:01Whether I'm in Utah or Duck Beach, I want to!

0:04:06 > 0:04:11I grew up in Salt Lake, the Cottonwood Heights area.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13And I'm the oldest of three kids.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17My dad is a dentist and my mom is like the perfect stay-at-home mom.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21They're a different colour. OK.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25'I can't decide if 23 is old or young. Most of my girlfriends from high school are married.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28'I wouldn't necessarily look at it as pressure.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32'More, at least for me personally, it's just so natural for me

0:04:32 > 0:04:36'to want to be married, I just want to be a wife and a mom so bad.'

0:04:36 > 0:04:37Really!

0:04:41 > 0:04:45I dated a boy for a little over a year-and-a-half.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48The wedding was pretty much planned, but I just knew that it wasn't right.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51And after a year-and-a-half, it's so sad that it took me

0:04:51 > 0:04:55so long to realise it, but I think it took me so long cos of my age.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59I was only 20 when we got engaged and I met him when I was, like, 18.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04But my first date after him was this next guy that I dated.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07And I wanted it to work so bad,

0:05:07 > 0:05:10I didn't want to go through another break-up,

0:05:10 > 0:05:14I wanted to marry him, we talked about it and it didn't work out.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16And...it's OK.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19I mean, sometimes I have hard days, everyone does, you know?

0:05:19 > 0:05:23But I think that's cos I haven't found someone else.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27- Oh!- Excited. - There's this slight problem.- What?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Diet Coke is party for us.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- We don't drink. - You don't drink at all?

0:05:34 > 0:05:38I can't see myself wanting anything more than to be married

0:05:38 > 0:05:40and to have a family.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43And have my own kids, but then be a part of his family

0:05:43 > 0:05:46and then also, I have a whole other family.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48And he has my family.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52So it is the central role of being here on this Earth

0:05:52 > 0:05:56and being together for all-time and eternity.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58But I'm constantly thinking,

0:05:58 > 0:06:01I need to prepare myself for when that man does come into my life.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04That's not the only thing I'm focussed on. I'm a dancer.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06I want to be an amazing dancer.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11I currently dance with a company called Odyssey Dance Theatre.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Being a dancer isn't just my job.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17It's not just something I do during the day. It is who I am.

0:06:17 > 0:06:22I like the push, I like the people I'm surrounded by every day

0:06:22 > 0:06:24who are so talented and so inspiring.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28They're so beautiful, so hard working, so nice.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31I think she's perfect.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33She's a great role model, she teaches us what to do

0:06:33 > 0:06:37and what not to do in class, or with boys, she dated this boy

0:06:37 > 0:06:40and she didn't like him, so she just gave us like advice

0:06:40 > 0:06:46for like what to do if you don't like a boy and you don't want to be mean or something.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Every once in a while, I'll have a moment where I'm just like,

0:06:55 > 0:07:01"What's going to happen if I'm like 25...?" Cos at 25 or 26, you're old.

0:07:11 > 0:07:18The night before Duck Beach. What happens now? No idea.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27I often describe my arrival to New York as Odysseus washing up

0:07:27 > 0:07:32onto the shore of another island that I had no idea what it was.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36I grew up in a traditional Utah Mormon family.

0:07:36 > 0:07:41Everyone getting married before 25 and the only sibling not married

0:07:41 > 0:07:45at this time is my little brother, Adam, who's on a mission.

0:07:45 > 0:07:49There's a chance he might just beat me to it

0:07:49 > 0:07:52and I'm kind of at a point now where I'm like...

0:07:52 > 0:07:54OK, so be it.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Um... You know?

0:07:56 > 0:08:00I've done my best, given my circumstances, I really have.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04I left Utah, thinking that I was going to marry this girl,

0:08:04 > 0:08:06but that just didn't work out.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11When that fell apart...

0:08:12 > 0:08:15..it hurt, you know?

0:08:16 > 0:08:20I can't go without this one. Hottest shirt in the collection.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24'And then I kind of continued through grad school with

0:08:24 > 0:08:28'the expectation that I'd pick up my social life once I left.'

0:08:28 > 0:08:30BELL RINGS

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- Salvete discipuli!- Salve!

0:08:36 > 0:08:41I teach at Brooklyn Latin School, which is a high school in Bushwick.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44It has been just a magnificent experience.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Mr Whitchurch is like the best Latin teacher ever. He's so funny.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49..Rize Me!

0:08:49 > 0:08:53Funniest thing is he sings in a really high-pitched voice.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55# O di immortales! #

0:08:55 > 0:08:59How do you know? One volunteer. Wow! Look at this!

0:08:59 > 0:09:04'In the mix of this whole Odyssian voyage has been my dad'

0:09:04 > 0:09:07and his fight with cancer.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10My dad would always be giving me a 20 bill, saying,

0:09:10 > 0:09:13"Hey, go take out a girl." I'm like, "OK. I'll work on it."

0:09:13 > 0:09:17The thing that was hardest for me to process was knowing that

0:09:17 > 0:09:22whenever I eventually do get married that he wasn't going to be there.

0:09:26 > 0:09:31If I were to have the ideal situation coming out of Duck Beach,

0:09:31 > 0:09:34it would be that I'd have some potential leads.

0:09:34 > 0:09:38In whatever city, place or far reach of the world that might be.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43- Hi there.- How you doing? - All right. JFK, right?- JFK.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00You never know when you're talking to a Mormon.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04- Yes, we're like vampires that way, because we walk among you. - We walk among you(!)

0:10:08 > 0:10:13I have five siblings, four brothers and one sister. Huge Mormon family.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Too big, way too big. Oh, my gosh!

0:10:15 > 0:10:20It was hell, but worth it because they're all my best friends now.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22There's my girl!

0:10:22 > 0:10:28'I'm pretty devout. Except...I have a potty mouth.'

0:10:28 > 0:10:33We have so few indulgences and so you have to sort of choose the lesser of like 20 evils.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36And like swearing at law school...

0:10:36 > 0:10:39It was either, you start swearing, drinking, sleeping around...

0:10:39 > 0:10:43We'll go swearing. So that's it for me, though.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47But I'm totally straight arrow everything else.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Mostly. Almost all.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51You have the sweetest ass ever!

0:10:51 > 0:10:58I don't understand, because there's no reason to ask me out for my personality, but my ass...

0:10:59 > 0:11:02..is spectacular!

0:11:02 > 0:11:06I am not going to lie. Your ass is spectacular.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09You might have to get a shot of our asses.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Are we saying "asses" too much?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21I've been divorced for...seven years.

0:11:21 > 0:11:26I was married for five years. I got married when I was 24. 24 to 29.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30So that's been a little bit difficult, especially

0:11:30 > 0:11:37where our religion so fervently advocates repentance and forgiveness.

0:11:37 > 0:11:42I felt like I was being judged and it was OK with me,

0:11:42 > 0:11:47because I knew that getting divorced was the right thing to do.

0:11:47 > 0:11:52So I feel like now I really trust the Lord in my dating.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Oh, dating... Here's the deal, OK?

0:11:55 > 0:12:00I'm 36. The Mormon dudes my age...they're so...

0:12:00 > 0:12:06Look, they don't know. Cos the ones who know are married. Like, they figured it out.

0:12:06 > 0:12:11They figured shit out and they've gotten married and moved on.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14A 36-year-old virgin, it's not a good situation.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27When I got home from my mission, I can remember everybody

0:12:27 > 0:12:31betting on how long it would take for me to get married.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34And I think one year was the longest

0:12:34 > 0:12:39that people thought it would take me to find a wife.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43And I think we're coming up on 14 years this summer.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54I come from a family of six.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57I have three brothers, two older, one younger,

0:12:57 > 0:13:01and the two older are married, the younger one is married as well, so I'm the last man standing.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05I had a close call with marriage where I dated this girl at BYU

0:13:05 > 0:13:12and from the moment we saw each other, there was instant connection, chemistry,

0:13:12 > 0:13:15and I honestly thought we would get married

0:13:15 > 0:13:20and I was head over heels in love with her and it didn't work.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24I can remember lying in bed, late at night, thinking,

0:13:24 > 0:13:27"Gosh, did I lose my one shot?

0:13:27 > 0:13:29"Was that it?"

0:13:29 > 0:13:32"Was that the one chance I got and I lost it?"

0:13:32 > 0:13:37# Gee-gee-ju-ju, nuh-nuh-nah-nah. #

0:13:37 > 0:13:40'I love singing all the time. I'd be in my office, working,'

0:13:40 > 0:13:44and I would always break out into random songs.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47I didn't think much of it, until one day my assistant just

0:13:47 > 0:13:51kind of slammed the door shut and turned up the radio.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54I was like, "Maybe people don't enjoy my singing as much as I do!"

0:13:57 > 0:14:00I studied English undergrad at BYU.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03After BYU, I spent about seven to eight years on the East Coast.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06I went to graduate school in Columbia.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08The challenge of Utah, it's interesting.

0:14:08 > 0:14:12I've dated some girls in Utah that I've thought to myself

0:14:12 > 0:14:15while I've been on the date, "If you and I were living in New York

0:14:15 > 0:14:19"right now, I'd probably want to date you seriously."

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Duck Beach is mysterious.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35I think that going in there with the specific

0:14:35 > 0:14:38purpose of finding someone to date, I might come up shorthanded,

0:14:38 > 0:14:42just given how many people will be there.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45But shoot, if it happens, fantastico!

0:14:45 > 0:14:47Finalmente! Right?

0:14:58 > 0:14:59Maybe.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02God is looking out for every single one of us

0:15:02 > 0:15:08and He's going to place opportunities in our paths if we're doing our part.

0:15:08 > 0:15:12And Duck Beach is...an opportunity for that. Do your part.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Buy a ticket, come out here, be solid in yourself

0:15:16 > 0:15:19and maybe you'll find someone.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25I'm the most anxious about seeing a couple of boys.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29Maybe one in particular that I really like.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31It's just really hard to like...

0:15:31 > 0:15:36I haven't seen anyone for a while so it's sometimes it's hard to...

0:15:36 > 0:15:38be myself, my awesome self.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46"Welcome to Duck Beach".

0:15:52 > 0:15:57In previous years, like when I came in 2007, it was weird.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01The whole house ended up kind of...dated someone in the house.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05I don't foresee it really this year. I got here this afternoon.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09I've been looking around. I don't see any possible connections really.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12I have a couple of theories on people who might be interested,

0:16:12 > 0:16:15but I don't know.

0:16:15 > 0:16:21There's a routine. Friday night, everyone arrives. Saturday, everyone sits on the beach,

0:16:21 > 0:16:25trying to find that companion, that soul mate, if you will.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29And then you're hoping to flirt Saturday night at the parties.

0:16:29 > 0:16:34Sunday, everyone goes to church. Sunday night's pretty chilled. Then most people head home.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Hey, guys. - We're taking this party out of town!

0:16:37 > 0:16:40Let's do this. Where are we headed?

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- Ready to party! - GIRLS SHOUT

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Peace!

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- All right. I don't really... - Why are you standing there?

0:16:50 > 0:16:52I turn 30 in about two months,

0:16:52 > 0:16:55so I'm rapidly approaching the age where no-one in the Church

0:16:55 > 0:16:58will want me and I'm at an age where no-one outside the Church is

0:16:58 > 0:17:02going to want a 30-year-old virgin, so it's a very difficult situation.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05- You going to the New York? It's super cool, man!- OK.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07It's going to be super cool!

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Some days, I'll be like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm 25, I'm so old."

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Oh, my gosh, I need to get married! I'm freaking out!

0:17:12 > 0:17:15I need to have kids! I'm already 24!

0:17:15 > 0:17:18You're so cute!

0:17:18 > 0:17:24A huge part of being Mormon is getting married and having a family.

0:17:24 > 0:17:30We get married for once and for all time and eternity.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33And there's a lot of pressure.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35It's our culture.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Mormons get married pretty young, and so it's just finding that one

0:17:38 > 0:17:43you connect with and marry and have kids and live your happy little life.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46There's a party happening, I don't know where.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49People came out of the house, said, "We're going to a party,

0:17:49 > 0:17:53"do you want to come?" I said, "Oh, there's a party?"

0:17:53 > 0:17:55And I was given the line of...

0:17:55 > 0:17:59"Well, it's an open invitation, but for you..."

0:17:59 > 0:18:02and the sentence ended after that.

0:18:02 > 0:18:08So, staying here isn't going to be too comfortable, if that's the sort of environment.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10So I just went inside and graded papers.

0:18:10 > 0:18:14There's times when you can probably walk in to a Mormon party

0:18:14 > 0:18:17and wonder - what are these people drinking?

0:18:17 > 0:18:21Their ability to kind of... have no inhibition in the way

0:18:21 > 0:18:23they dance and so forth...

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Most people that walk into that that aren't

0:18:26 > 0:18:30part of the culture would be like, "I need a few beers to do that."

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Mormons are really funny cos we don't drink and get crazy

0:18:34 > 0:18:37and have this excuse to be like silly.

0:18:37 > 0:18:42So we do other things like drink 17 five hour energies.

0:18:42 > 0:18:49# I'm in love, so are you I couldn't say it another way... #

0:18:49 > 0:18:53I brought a lot of swimsuits. It's so bad. But it's fun.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56All the girls are like, "Which shall I wear today?

0:18:56 > 0:18:58"Which shall I wear tomorrow?"

0:18:58 > 0:19:03So I bought a couple of suits for the beach this year.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05I needed to kind of stock up.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08So I got some one pieces that are really cute.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11This one I wore yesterday. Love it.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13So...kind of like a longer top.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Then black. Always use a black one.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19I have one bikini. Ah...you guys...

0:19:19 > 0:19:23I don't know how things are going to work.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27This one. It's kind of... you know, modest, actually.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30I might bust it out, but it might just be for the local pool.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Like in our backyard.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35This guy, so cute. This is my one today.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37I would say in general,

0:19:37 > 0:19:41members of the Church will feel that a one piece is modest

0:19:41 > 0:19:46and more consistent with what Church leaders would encourage us to wear.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50I personally don't necessarily think that.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53But I'm sure there are those people that do.

0:19:53 > 0:19:58At what point do we tell the camera that we're putting Preparation H on our foreheads?

0:19:58 > 0:19:59You guys, no, listen.

0:19:59 > 0:20:04I've got a zit starting to grow and everyone knows about these nose ones - they hurt.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07So I was asking people, "What can I do?" And they were like,

0:20:07 > 0:20:12"Put Neosporin on the inside and put Preparation H on the outside."

0:20:12 > 0:20:16Preparation H, you know? Anyway, I tried it and actually, it worked.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20- I had some of that, luckily! - Yeah, I went into his room.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22It worked, it went down.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26And then I thought, "I won't bring it to Duck," and then it resurfaced.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30I went to the store and bought some Preparation H and Neosporin.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34If anyone sees my toiletry bag, it could be disastrous.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37You know what? I kind of don't love swimming, I'll just play.

0:20:37 > 0:20:42You know the difference, just hanging out and everything. Swimming?

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Getting my head... No! I'm like one of those girls. I'm lame.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49It's OK, though. I'm fine.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52OK, I'm ready. Ready to go.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56Let's go play some volleyball! Kick some butt! Let's do this.

0:20:58 > 0:21:03# With the sun burn my eyes Let it burn my back

0:21:03 > 0:21:09# Let it sear through my tights I'll feel wide open... #

0:21:09 > 0:21:13Today is the big day. This is when everyone...

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- "OK, that person's nice."- He's cute. - She has a great personality.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21- That's what people are looking at, you know.- Yeah.- Only personalities.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Only personalities! We're not very shallow(!)

0:21:24 > 0:21:26# You're never gonna stop me

0:21:26 > 0:21:30# You're never gonna stop the king of the beach. #

0:21:32 > 0:21:37I feel like the guys have so many options,

0:21:37 > 0:21:39so they're never really considering it seriously,

0:21:39 > 0:21:43which isn't what the Prophet has told us that we should be doing.

0:21:43 > 0:21:48But, you know, as women we're kind of at the...dispos...

0:21:48 > 0:21:50No, that's a bad word to say.

0:21:50 > 0:21:55- There are so many of us.- The men are the deciders, the pursuers.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58# Never gonna stop me

0:21:58 > 0:22:01# You're never gonna stop King of the beach. #

0:22:03 > 0:22:08- You know how Melissa, she's super, like "Ah, hey!"- See, I don't think...

0:22:08 > 0:22:11- It's not like that?- No.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14I just feel like everyone's different

0:22:14 > 0:22:18and so I don't think anybody should change who they naturally are

0:22:18 > 0:22:22because, otherwise, if they ended up attracting a guy,

0:22:22 > 0:22:24that wouldn't be real.

0:22:24 > 0:22:28Well, if their personality was versatile, though.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31No. I mean... I don't know. I just kind of think,

0:22:31 > 0:22:34be yourself and hope to bump into somebody who appreciates that.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38# When I get back when I get back home

0:22:38 > 0:22:42# I won't be the same no more. #

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Hello, Duck Beach!

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Scope, scope, scope.

0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Scope. Today's our last chance. - Our last chance of a lifetime.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Lots of women here.

0:23:03 > 0:23:08So, where the volleyball courts end, as far as this group ends,

0:23:08 > 0:23:10like those tents right there.

0:23:10 > 0:23:15I would say, it's all single Mormons, for the most part.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19These girls are looking at us.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23'You're taught from a young age, as a Latter Day Saint, to get'

0:23:23 > 0:23:28married, but not just get married, but look for certain qualities.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31I think there's the general things that most people look for,

0:23:31 > 0:23:34it's important that I get married in a temple.

0:23:34 > 0:23:38That's important to me, that she be an active member of the Church.

0:23:38 > 0:23:43And that she be a good mother. I think that's important to me.

0:23:43 > 0:23:47- Let's lay down the rules.- OK. - We've got to go up once.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49Let's have a competition.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53I think, personally, I would probably date...younger than me.

0:23:53 > 0:23:54Five or six years younger than me.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Not because I have anything against older women,

0:23:57 > 0:24:03but I think, for a woman's sake, it might be hard for them to get married and date at this age.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05What's the objective? Are we going to have to...?

0:24:05 > 0:24:09are we picking someone for ourselves or for each other?

0:24:09 > 0:24:11Ah...for each other...

0:24:11 > 0:24:15You've got the Utah typical Mormon guy who is

0:24:15 > 0:24:19looking for the supermodel, small, petite, big boobs. Blonde hair.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21That could get out of control.

0:24:21 > 0:24:26We should pick them for ourselves, but we have to choose one person and the objective has to be that

0:24:26 > 0:24:31we talk to them and get to know them and get them to the party.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Oh, that's easy.- That's doable.

0:24:34 > 0:24:38'I think a lot of them don't really know what they want, first of all.'

0:24:38 > 0:24:43They want a girl who's really good looking and fun and then they want

0:24:43 > 0:24:47a girl who's super spiritual and they want the best of both worlds.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50They want this girl who's OK with them being inappropriate or

0:24:50 > 0:24:54doing things they want to do, but then she has to be...

0:24:54 > 0:24:58I don't want to use the word "perfect" but that's how it feels.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06I think with men,

0:25:06 > 0:25:09men kind of have idealised women,

0:25:09 > 0:25:11you know, generally speaking.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14But even more so in Mormon culture,

0:25:14 > 0:25:16because there's no experience of sexual intercourse.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19There's no experience of sexual intimacy.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22The law of chastity, simply defined,

0:25:22 > 0:25:27is to not have sexual relations before marriage.

0:25:27 > 0:25:32Let's just be clear. It's not just sex, it's nothing but kissing.

0:25:32 > 0:25:37The leaders of our Church encourage us to kiss,

0:25:37 > 0:25:38but not to make out.

0:25:38 > 0:25:42It's kind of... Yeah, it's like black and white.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Do it standing up and never laying down.- I think it's a personal thing.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48You know what's right and what you feel comfortable with.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51Whether you're dating somebody, in a serious relationship or not...

0:25:51 > 0:25:55We want to stay pure, we want to stay morally clean...

0:25:55 > 0:25:57And you wouldn't want to do anything to them

0:25:57 > 0:26:00that they would have to tell their future spouse about.

0:26:14 > 0:26:17Within the Mormon culture,

0:26:17 > 0:26:20there's a lot of misunderstanding about sexuality

0:26:20 > 0:26:22and I don't know if that stems, you know,

0:26:22 > 0:26:24from the way the law of chastity is taught,

0:26:24 > 0:26:27but sex can be a taboo subject.

0:26:27 > 0:26:32I think the philosophy is, "Don't even go near it."

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Just avoid it altogether.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38The women have got to push themselves to look a certain way,

0:26:38 > 0:26:42to be a certain way, because of that heightened insecurity

0:26:42 > 0:26:45and sensitivity to what the media pushes.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48I feel like it's easier to repress it entirely

0:26:48 > 0:26:50and I feel like, when you repress it,

0:26:50 > 0:26:53you return to that stage where you're around maybe 15 or 16,

0:26:53 > 0:26:56you know, when you were in junior high.

0:27:07 > 0:27:12- What time should we tell people?- I'd say nine. People show up at ten.- OK.

0:27:12 > 0:27:17Yeah, because I think you should get Shante or Suzette or something.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21- And start advertising. - We're advertising to the girls,

0:27:21 > 0:27:24- you start advertising to the guys. - OK. I can advertise to the boys.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26No, you do girls too.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28I go on a lot of first dates,

0:27:28 > 0:27:31and I made a goal this New Year's to -

0:27:31 > 0:27:35not in a rude way - but give guys more of a chance.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38I feel like I'm very ambitious and sometimes when girls say "ambition"

0:27:38 > 0:27:41they think, "Oh, she's a gold-digger." But I'm not!

0:27:41 > 0:27:42I'm not, I swear!

0:27:42 > 0:27:44Security's a huge issue.

0:27:44 > 0:27:49Having a good job, making good money and having that stability

0:27:49 > 0:27:51so that you can raise a family.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54I need somebody who...

0:27:54 > 0:27:56is super-smart, really hot, loves sports.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58He needs to make more money than I do.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01All of that aside, testimony is the most important.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03And a relationship with God.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Somebody who understands Christianity.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09My divorce was really hard. It almost killed me.

0:28:09 > 0:28:13I struggle with depression and anxiety in my life, so...

0:28:13 > 0:28:15But I didn't really know it until that time.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17It hasn't really been a problem since then,

0:28:17 > 0:28:21but I am very careful to watch sort of like the triggers.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25So if I notice that I'm having trouble making decisions

0:28:25 > 0:28:27or if I'm not sleeping very well,

0:28:27 > 0:28:29I sort of have a checklist that I'll go through

0:28:29 > 0:28:32and just try and correct it.

0:28:44 > 0:28:49I felt like I was in New York, being in that crowd.

0:28:49 > 0:28:50In New York, you can be around...

0:28:50 > 0:28:53There are 8 million people in that city

0:28:53 > 0:28:56and you can feel so alone. And I felt the same way.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59'I found it extremely difficult to hold a conversation.'

0:28:59 > 0:29:01I lose track. One of the things I remember

0:29:01 > 0:29:04is that I went to your birthday party many years ago.

0:29:04 > 0:29:07- Which one?- When... I don't know...

0:29:07 > 0:29:12- That was, like, a fun party. - Yeah.- That was a fun party, so...

0:29:12 > 0:29:14- But Brian was in Virginia before that.- Yes, I was.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17That's how I met him, yeah. I was in DC and Boston.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20- So you just keep going?- Yeah.

0:29:20 > 0:29:24Not so much by choice but more by just kind of necessity.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27I needed a job after I got laid off in Boston. So...

0:29:27 > 0:29:31- It's good to see you. I'm going to run back to the beach.- You do that.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34You guys do that. Thanks for stopping and chatting for a bit.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37- I'll see you guys around, OK? - See you, Brian.- Ciao.

0:29:45 > 0:29:49- Are you the Latin teacher, Brian? - Claro que si.- What?- Yes.

0:29:51 > 0:29:56- I have one tiny Latin phrase memorised really badly.- What is it?

0:29:56 > 0:30:00Erm... Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

0:30:00 > 0:30:02If you were to pick a phrase to remember,

0:30:02 > 0:30:04that's probably the coolest one.

0:30:04 > 0:30:08Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10It's Aeneas speaking to his men

0:30:10 > 0:30:13after they've been completely destroyed.

0:30:13 > 0:30:17It means maybe one day

0:30:17 > 0:30:20it will have helped to have remembered these things.

0:30:38 > 0:30:39Hold on, you guys,

0:30:39 > 0:30:42I'm just going to get some root beer from this keg over here.

0:30:42 > 0:30:44You've got to get this too.

0:30:50 > 0:30:54This is my third year at Duck and I think it is so fun

0:30:54 > 0:30:56cos you get the range, you get the range of people here.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59And just like in any other specific group,

0:30:59 > 0:31:01you have a range of people in the Mormon Church.

0:31:01 > 0:31:04My particular situation, being a single mother,

0:31:04 > 0:31:08I feel is often forgotten when the Church is being represented.

0:31:08 > 0:31:10The more you get to know people in the Church,

0:31:10 > 0:31:12the more you realise that

0:31:12 > 0:31:15it's not so traditional, perfect, you know...families.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17When I was married and debating divorce

0:31:17 > 0:31:19I took it to God and I said,

0:31:19 > 0:31:22"Look, I am in hell in this marriage.

0:31:22 > 0:31:25"I will stay, I just want to be happy some day.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28"If that's 20 years from now, fine. If it's divorced, fine."

0:31:28 > 0:31:30And the Lord immediately said, "Get divorced."

0:31:30 > 0:31:33That is hot. Literally hot.

0:31:41 > 0:31:43I've had struggles, but I was able to get through it

0:31:43 > 0:31:45and I stayed strong in the Church,

0:31:45 > 0:31:48I think that's kind of what helped me get through it.

0:31:51 > 0:31:55# And I ain't got nobody

0:31:55 > 0:31:58# In this world to care for me. #

0:32:13 > 0:32:15# It's been a day

0:32:15 > 0:32:18# Even the sun don't have rays

0:32:18 > 0:32:20# But I'm not done

0:32:20 > 0:32:21# You know I'm doing OK

0:32:21 > 0:32:24# Cos if it dumps, I bump it back

0:32:24 > 0:32:26# Yeah, bump it back till it's play

0:32:26 > 0:32:28# Cos, baby, I got sugar, I got honey

0:32:28 > 0:32:30# Somethin' feeling good is money

0:32:30 > 0:32:32# I got my party dress on

0:32:32 > 0:32:35# I got my shoes to get me goin'

0:32:35 > 0:32:36# And if you want, you come along

0:32:36 > 0:32:39# I got, I got, I got, let's go

0:32:39 > 0:32:42# I've got my party dress on I've got my shoes to get me goin'

0:32:42 > 0:32:47# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got, let's go... #

0:32:49 > 0:32:51Our decision of the person that we marry

0:32:51 > 0:32:53is the most important decision we'll ever make,

0:32:53 > 0:32:55and so that can create some pressure.

0:32:55 > 0:32:58You want to get it right. You know, I'm 34,

0:32:58 > 0:33:01I obviously thought it would have happened before now

0:33:01 > 0:33:03and, for whatever reason, it hasn't,

0:33:03 > 0:33:06and I'll just keep doing my thing and trust that it will.

0:33:06 > 0:33:10The reality is anyone can actually just hook up and get married

0:33:10 > 0:33:11and they'll be fun.

0:33:11 > 0:33:13But we're afraid of the eternities,

0:33:13 > 0:33:17of that kind of commitment for ever, or making the wrong choice.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19We'll do anything not to make the wrong choice,

0:33:19 > 0:33:21even perpetuate adolescence.

0:33:23 > 0:33:25# I got my party dress on

0:33:25 > 0:33:27# I got my shoes to get me goin'

0:33:27 > 0:33:30# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got

0:33:30 > 0:33:33# Let's go, I got my party dress on

0:33:33 > 0:33:36# I got my shoes to get me goin'

0:33:36 > 0:33:39# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got, let's go. #

0:33:42 > 0:33:45Oh, my gosh, I don't want to be in charge of this.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47Who is in charge of this outfit?

0:33:47 > 0:33:50I'm in charge of it. So we'll get...

0:33:50 > 0:33:52The music's off and then we'll get everybody inside.

0:33:52 > 0:33:55If I give you my word that we'll keep it down

0:33:55 > 0:33:57and get everybody inside, would it be possible to...

0:33:57 > 0:34:02- This 50 fine?- If you've got to issue it, I respect that. - This is what we've been doing.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05I've been to, like, five of these tonight, so this is how I cut down on it.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07OK, well, I can respect that.

0:34:10 > 0:34:14The music. We told everyone - house 469, follow the music!

0:34:14 > 0:34:18- You'll hear the music. - We were asking for it.

0:34:18 > 0:34:21It was a success. It was a success!

0:34:21 > 0:34:24'In the house, talking, the question is,'

0:34:24 > 0:34:28"So, do you think anyone's cute? Do you think anyone's cute in the house?

0:34:28 > 0:34:31"Did you see anyone at the beach today or at the party tonight?"

0:34:31 > 0:34:32We talk about that all the time

0:34:32 > 0:34:36and I know that a lot of people don't want to seem too desperate.

0:34:36 > 0:34:39Like, I'm at the beach, people meet each other, they get married,

0:34:39 > 0:34:41so I'm going to go get her number,

0:34:41 > 0:34:43or I'm going to make sure he gets my number.

0:34:43 > 0:34:44This is a solid foundation

0:34:44 > 0:34:46and if you're still interested in someone

0:34:46 > 0:34:49I think a lot of contacting may happen after Duck Beach.

0:34:49 > 0:34:52- Tell me if you know this. - No, I don't!

0:34:52 > 0:34:54Do you know the duh-duh cha-cha-cha?

0:34:54 > 0:34:58You don't? Really? How do you not know that? You're a freakin' dancer.

0:34:58 > 0:35:02You don't know those moves? They're the most basic moves.

0:35:02 > 0:35:05- You really don't?- I get down.

0:35:05 > 0:35:07Everyone was so friendly, everyone was so nice.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11I'm just glad that my friends have been so welcoming to everyone

0:35:11 > 0:35:13and even welcoming to Brian.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16We had a really good chat with him on Saturday at our party.

0:35:16 > 0:35:19I actually met a girl tonight...

0:35:19 > 0:35:22- THEY GASP - OK, OK! Oh, oh, oh, oh!

0:35:22 > 0:35:26'There was a girl that came up and talked to me.'

0:35:26 > 0:35:27I was so floored by that.

0:35:27 > 0:35:31She just, like, out of the blue went up and introduced herself and...

0:35:31 > 0:35:34we talked for a good 20-30 minutes, you know?

0:35:35 > 0:35:37Definitely you could tell

0:35:37 > 0:35:41there was a lot of natural, innate chemistry there,

0:35:41 > 0:35:42which was great.

0:35:42 > 0:35:45Because there's so much edifice,

0:35:45 > 0:35:48there's so much superficiality

0:35:48 > 0:35:52that goes with any sort of LDS single gathering.

0:35:52 > 0:35:56I'm not saying, not necessarily in religious circumstances or setting,

0:35:56 > 0:35:59but I am saying in, like, social activities.

0:35:59 > 0:36:02MUSIC: "One More Time" by Daft Punk

0:36:31 > 0:36:34Nine o'clock, Sunday morning.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36We've got to leave right now, because church starts at ten.

0:36:36 > 0:36:39At 9:30 probably all the seats will be taken,

0:36:39 > 0:36:41so we're actually a little behind.

0:36:41 > 0:36:43But everything will be full in the chapel,

0:36:43 > 0:36:45we'll probably be sitting in an overflow,

0:36:45 > 0:36:48and then there's even going to be some people outside, I'm sure.

0:36:48 > 0:36:50- It's going to be pretty intense. - All right, let's do this.

0:37:05 > 0:37:08Look at her coming down the stairs.

0:37:08 > 0:37:10You look smokin'!

0:37:18 > 0:37:21This is the Nag's Head Ward.

0:37:21 > 0:37:24I've had the opportunity to see the ward grow

0:37:24 > 0:37:29from just one family to... 150 active members.

0:37:31 > 0:37:35I believe the attendance today was a little over 900.

0:37:35 > 0:37:39Our congregation kind of looks forward to the young people

0:37:39 > 0:37:41and seeing them once a year.

0:37:41 > 0:37:46We actually get to meet and get to know a few of them

0:37:46 > 0:37:48and I think some of them maybe

0:37:48 > 0:37:53would like not to come back as a single the next year, but...!

0:38:06 > 0:38:09Prayer is part of my day, all day, every day.

0:38:09 > 0:38:11I just, you know,

0:38:11 > 0:38:15thank Heavenly Father almost every day for how easy it came for me.

0:38:15 > 0:38:20How easy it came for me to believe and to have faith.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22So I may not be this, like, amazing scriptorian,

0:38:22 > 0:38:27I might not know all the doctrine, but it's more...how I feel.

0:38:28 > 0:38:33There are more ways to know something than what you see or sense.

0:38:35 > 0:38:38But to say that the only way you can know something

0:38:38 > 0:38:40is through feeling it...

0:38:40 > 0:38:42I think that that's just equally as wrong.

0:38:42 > 0:38:45So striking a balance between the two is really, I think,

0:38:45 > 0:38:48the golden mean for which we should be aiming.

0:38:48 > 0:38:52When I started to learn more and think more

0:38:52 > 0:38:57and be more...analytical of the things that are around me,

0:38:57 > 0:39:02it's at that point that I felt that my faith started to be challenged.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04Have I ever left the Church? No.

0:39:04 > 0:39:11But I've felt a definite resistance from the time of about 25 to now.

0:39:12 > 0:39:15You know, what we call it in the Mormon faith is you gain a testimony.

0:39:15 > 0:39:19More often than not, you have feelings of the spirit

0:39:19 > 0:39:20where you feel peace.

0:39:20 > 0:39:23When I read the Book Of Mormon, I prayed about it, I felt that way,

0:39:23 > 0:39:26it just kind of totally changed my whole approach to things.

0:39:26 > 0:39:29I just think more than anything it gave me a confidence level

0:39:29 > 0:39:31that this is how I'm going to live my life,

0:39:31 > 0:39:33because I belive it's of God.

0:39:33 > 0:39:35My favourite time of the day

0:39:35 > 0:39:38is at night when I go home and read my scriptures.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41It's probably been 15 years that I made this deal with God.

0:39:41 > 0:39:44I was just late for a flight and I really wanted to get on the flight,

0:39:44 > 0:39:47but I was like, there's no way in hell I can make this flight.

0:39:47 > 0:39:48There's no way, there's no way.

0:39:48 > 0:39:52So I was driving and I was like, "OK, look, if you make this happen -

0:39:52 > 0:39:55"which is not probable that you will or you can -

0:39:55 > 0:39:57"if you make this happen

0:39:57 > 0:40:00"I will read my scriptures every day for the rest of my life."

0:40:00 > 0:40:02And he was like, "Done."

0:40:02 > 0:40:07And honestly, I see little things like that in my life every day.

0:40:07 > 0:40:09I see him and I say, I really need to find a parking spot,

0:40:09 > 0:40:11if you could help me out that would be really great -

0:40:11 > 0:40:14this is the conversation I have with him in my head.

0:40:14 > 0:40:17And there's always a great parking spot or everything just kind of works out.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23Didn't make it to church today.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27This morning, I had kind of a hard morning.

0:40:27 > 0:40:29Erm...

0:40:29 > 0:40:35I saw a boy who I think is really great, erm, and...

0:40:35 > 0:40:37Erm...

0:40:37 > 0:40:39It's just hard.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45It's hard because it's good, it's great.

0:40:45 > 0:40:49- So it's hard to be with him because...?- Can you not see?

0:40:49 > 0:40:53Like, can you not? How can you not see how great this is, you know?

0:40:53 > 0:40:57I mean, we'll just have to see what happens, I guess, but, like...

0:41:01 > 0:41:05Like, there's... I... I don't know what to do. You know?

0:41:05 > 0:41:07Like...

0:41:07 > 0:41:12And I haven't liked anyone this much in a really long time,

0:41:12 > 0:41:13so it's just like...

0:41:15 > 0:41:19It's just hard, when it, you know...comes along.

0:41:19 > 0:41:23And I feel like this is probably far from over with him. I just really...

0:41:23 > 0:41:27I like spending time with him, you know?

0:41:34 > 0:41:38Let's get started. First of all, we have a newcomer to the house.

0:41:38 > 0:41:42Can everybody give Michael a warm welcome?

0:41:42 > 0:41:44Hey!

0:41:47 > 0:41:49- He came up from the JD team. - He got promoted.

0:41:49 > 0:41:51'I suppose every house...'

0:41:51 > 0:41:54It's something about organising,

0:41:54 > 0:41:57it has a degree of excluding a certain type,

0:41:57 > 0:42:01for whatever reason, or whatever...

0:42:01 > 0:42:04taste or opinion or demographic is involved.

0:42:04 > 0:42:05I don't know.

0:42:05 > 0:42:09I think we reached out to people that we're friends with and,

0:42:09 > 0:42:13you know, we have some friends that are attractive

0:42:13 > 0:42:17that wanted to come, and so, we're lucky.

0:42:17 > 0:42:21But we didn't have a requirement that they had to look a certain way.

0:42:22 > 0:42:26Our dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful to be gathered together

0:42:26 > 0:42:31here as friends in beautiful North Carolina.

0:42:31 > 0:42:35We are so grateful for all of our many blessings.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38We're grateful for the friendships that we are developing

0:42:38 > 0:42:41and that we will continue to develop this weekend.

0:42:41 > 0:42:46We are so grateful for Jesus Christ and for his example

0:42:46 > 0:42:49and his sacrifice for each one of us.

0:42:49 > 0:42:52We're grateful for all the preparation

0:42:52 > 0:42:57that has gone into making this event possible for us.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59We especially, at this time,

0:42:59 > 0:43:02would like to thank Thee for those that have prepared the food.

0:43:02 > 0:43:04We ask Thee to please bless this food,

0:43:04 > 0:43:07that it will nourish and strengthen our bodies.

0:43:07 > 0:43:10And that we might continue to be safe and have fun

0:43:10 > 0:43:11on the rest of this trip.

0:43:11 > 0:43:14We say these things humbly in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

0:43:14 > 0:43:15ALL: Amen.

0:43:15 > 0:43:17OK, let's eat!

0:43:22 > 0:43:24CHEERING

0:43:27 > 0:43:29We're at the New York house.

0:43:29 > 0:43:31There is a huge acoustic night.

0:43:31 > 0:43:36I was shocked at how many people just crammed every possible space.

0:43:39 > 0:43:41- RAPS:- Some of the busiest rhymes Ever made by man

0:43:41 > 0:43:43Are coming out of this mic Written by this hand

0:43:43 > 0:43:45Come out of this mouth Made by this tongue

0:43:45 > 0:43:46Tell, you know, my name is Young.

0:43:47 > 0:43:50HE SINGS

0:43:50 > 0:43:52I didn't know there was one,

0:43:52 > 0:43:55that was the reason why I didn't perform in the talent show.

0:43:57 > 0:44:00'When I was 16 and I realised that I could sing,'

0:44:00 > 0:44:02that was a real changing moment for me.

0:44:02 > 0:44:05It became not a question of what I can't do

0:44:05 > 0:44:08and what I was incapable of,

0:44:08 > 0:44:12but it became more a question of what can I actually accomplish?

0:44:12 > 0:44:14So, I'm going from singing

0:44:14 > 0:44:17into figuring out I could learn things,

0:44:17 > 0:44:20into figuring out I could learn languages.

0:44:20 > 0:44:25# Che bella cosa E na jurnata 'e sole

0:44:25 > 0:44:31# N'aria serena doppo na tempesta

0:44:31 > 0:44:36# Ma n'atu sole

0:44:36 > 0:44:39# Cchiu bello, oi ne'

0:44:39 > 0:44:45# 'O sole mio sta nfronte a te

0:44:45 > 0:44:54# 'O sole 'O sole mio

0:44:54 > 0:44:59# Sta nfronte a te

0:44:59 > 0:45:04# Sta nfronte a te! #

0:45:04 > 0:45:07# We gave

0:45:07 > 0:45:12# To see for ever

0:45:12 > 0:45:15# But for ever it's gone... #

0:45:15 > 0:45:16Oh, oh, oh!

0:45:16 > 0:45:20- Rewind that, rewind that. - I must have missed it.

0:45:22 > 0:45:25That's a boy, you've got to get out. Go.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28- Emily saw that we're reading. - No, no, no.

0:45:28 > 0:45:30I just think it's our last night, we have to stay up.

0:45:30 > 0:45:33We have to. We have to.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35'Who's the hottest guy in the house?'

0:45:35 > 0:45:37- Ryan, for sure.- Which one?

0:45:37 > 0:45:41- Baughman's my first vote. - Ryan Baughman? Ow!

0:45:42 > 0:45:45Elle thinks Blake's cute.

0:45:45 > 0:45:48I'm in love with Blake, but we're not a good fit.

0:45:48 > 0:45:53And he's adorable, because he has a great smile, he's funny...

0:45:53 > 0:45:57- And his eyes.- ..and he's assertive and he has amazing eyes.

0:45:57 > 0:46:01- He's just the cutest thing ever. - Why are you guys not a good fit?

0:46:01 > 0:46:03Just out of curiosity?

0:46:03 > 0:46:05Well...

0:46:05 > 0:46:08Typically, the guys that I date are extremely GQ,

0:46:08 > 0:46:11they're 6"4 and very, very manly.

0:46:11 > 0:46:15- You might want to work on that. - I'll keep in touch with everyone, but there's no-one

0:46:15 > 0:46:19in the house that I would actually consider as an eternal companion.

0:46:19 > 0:46:22- There's a couple of boys that have an eye on her.- No.- Of course.

0:46:22 > 0:46:26- At least all of them. At least. - No-one has their eye on me. Whatever.

0:46:26 > 0:46:27At least all of them.

0:46:49 > 0:46:51I came out here with a house of people where

0:46:51 > 0:46:52I knew a lot of them already

0:46:52 > 0:46:56and I'm going to go home with the person

0:46:56 > 0:47:00that probably has the most potential being somebody I already knew.

0:47:01 > 0:47:05I don't believe that there's one person for you.

0:47:05 > 0:47:10I feel like you can meet someone at the wrong time,

0:47:10 > 0:47:12so if you met them later in your life

0:47:12 > 0:47:15or earlier in your life, it may have worked out.

0:47:15 > 0:47:17But I don't think

0:47:17 > 0:47:22I could marry every single person who was on the same page as me

0:47:22 > 0:47:26in every little thing, because there has to be that "X factor".

0:47:26 > 0:47:30There are times where I feel it for someone and maybe

0:47:30 > 0:47:33he doesn't feel that strong, or maybe he did and then it went away.

0:47:33 > 0:47:36I'm sure, well, I'm not sure, but maybe someone's felt that for me

0:47:36 > 0:47:39and I haven't necessarily felt that way for him.

0:47:39 > 0:47:42That's just how dating is. That's what makes dating hard.

0:47:42 > 0:47:44Everyone says, "Dating's so hard." Of course it's hard.

0:47:44 > 0:47:49You're trying to find two people who are ready to date.

0:47:49 > 0:47:51It's a miracle.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53It's a miracle, an amazing miracle,

0:47:53 > 0:47:58it's a beautiful miracle to see two people have it work out.

0:48:00 > 0:48:03When I'm dating somebody, I never had go to the Lord and say,

0:48:03 > 0:48:06"Am I going to marry this person? Am I going to marry this guy?"

0:48:06 > 0:48:09For one thing, cos I don't really...

0:48:09 > 0:48:12Really, I don't think I can handle the answer,

0:48:12 > 0:48:14whatever it is, in a lot of cases.

0:48:14 > 0:48:18'He warned me very clearly, very clearly,

0:48:18 > 0:48:20'not to marry and a couple of people'

0:48:20 > 0:48:23have asked me, who know the story,

0:48:23 > 0:48:26if they think it was this self-fulfilling prophecy,

0:48:26 > 0:48:28that maybe that wasn't really God communicating with me,

0:48:28 > 0:48:32but maybe those were my thoughts and it was self-fulfilling.

0:48:32 > 0:48:36It was a mistake that I will not make again, not only in marriage,

0:48:36 > 0:48:41but, whenever the Lord tells me to do something, I will do it.

0:48:41 > 0:48:45'And my philosophy has kind of become to just put on'

0:48:45 > 0:48:48a happy face, like put on a straight face,

0:48:48 > 0:48:51like, you know, be happy.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54'I don't think that there's one right person for me.'

0:48:54 > 0:48:57I don't think it's unreasonable to want to find somebody or to hold out

0:48:57 > 0:49:01for someone that you have a really strong connection with,

0:49:01 > 0:49:04you're really compatible with

0:49:04 > 0:49:07and there's just that mutual feeling

0:49:07 > 0:49:11of love and a natural desire to want to be with them

0:49:11 > 0:49:15and I think you can find that in more than one person.

0:49:15 > 0:49:18'I've had it on a couple of occasions.'

0:49:18 > 0:49:25Er...one occasion, I bought a ring and had a Temple date and...

0:49:26 > 0:49:30..and then just things happened in the relationship that kind of

0:49:30 > 0:49:36made it so it didn't seem like it was the right thing to move forward with and then...

0:49:36 > 0:49:40the one before that, I was just young and immature

0:49:40 > 0:49:45and I didn't realise, I think, what was important

0:49:45 > 0:49:47and I didn't, um...

0:49:47 > 0:49:51I didn't appreciate the rarity of what I had,

0:49:51 > 0:49:52so I think I messed it up.

0:50:10 > 0:50:14My dad was truly an amazing dad.

0:50:15 > 0:50:20And a man that I'm always going to admire and to realise that

0:50:20 > 0:50:24that was soon on his way out the door, that was tough.

0:50:25 > 0:50:28I remember saying to myself over and over and over again

0:50:28 > 0:50:33when I heard the news and I was driving home, "I still need him.

0:50:33 > 0:50:36"Even if he's not here in the same city as me,

0:50:36 > 0:50:38"I need that person to call up and talk to."

0:50:39 > 0:50:44He would call me all the time and, when his memory started giving out,

0:50:44 > 0:50:48he would call me every two hours to just see how I was doing.

0:50:48 > 0:50:53And I could really tell how much he loved me, you know?

0:50:57 > 0:50:58Yeah.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05And so, he fought till the last minute.

0:51:07 > 0:51:12And, the last time I saw him was in the airport...

0:51:15 > 0:51:18..when he handed me the 20 bill

0:51:18 > 0:51:19and said, "Go take out a girl."

0:51:45 > 0:51:48'Duck Beach, in a way, is hope.

0:51:48 > 0:51:52'Just like all the things that one does to try and find someone'

0:51:52 > 0:51:55is an extension of hope.

0:51:55 > 0:51:59It seems about all I've got left these days, you know?

0:52:00 > 0:52:02'I have so much reason to just say,'

0:52:02 > 0:52:05"I give up. You know?

0:52:05 > 0:52:07"If I live a truly virtuous life,

0:52:07 > 0:52:11"that right person will just fall into my life."

0:52:11 > 0:52:14But I've still got to keep on trying.

0:52:14 > 0:52:17And every time I go out, every time I talk to someone,

0:52:17 > 0:52:21there's still that hope that I hold onto.

0:52:21 > 0:52:24That one day it will work out.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26But with hope comes fear.

0:52:26 > 0:52:29What if it doesn't?

0:52:29 > 0:52:30That's a fear.

0:52:30 > 0:52:34But to give in to that would be to just ignore the hope

0:52:34 > 0:52:37and to stop trying.

0:52:37 > 0:52:39And also an offence to my dad.

0:52:58 > 0:53:01It's been about a month.

0:53:01 > 0:53:05Unfortunately, all I've heard of are relationships that were destroyed.

0:53:05 > 0:53:08It's because these guys get down there

0:53:08 > 0:53:11and there are these hot chicks in bikinis

0:53:11 > 0:53:12and they lose their minds.

0:53:19 > 0:53:23# We're going to be waiting for a long time

0:53:23 > 0:53:27# But it'll be worth it

0:53:27 > 0:53:32# When we find what we find

0:53:33 > 0:53:36# We'll find God

0:53:36 > 0:53:40# In our lover's arms... #

0:53:40 > 0:53:43I came down to visit some friends,

0:53:43 > 0:53:47including Mr Ezra who was in my house at Duck Beach.

0:53:47 > 0:53:49I wanted to hang out with Stacey more,

0:53:49 > 0:53:51just to get to know her more.

0:53:51 > 0:53:53She's fun to be around.

0:53:53 > 0:53:54'When we were organising the house,

0:53:54 > 0:53:57'I told them that I'd really like Ezra to be at the house.

0:53:57 > 0:53:59'So, we hung out a little bit at the beach,'

0:53:59 > 0:54:02got enough, so I came down here

0:54:02 > 0:54:04and made him hang out with me

0:54:04 > 0:54:06'and he did so.'

0:54:06 > 0:54:09I am open to a relationship with Stacey, yes.

0:54:12 > 0:54:14'Life is good. Life is good.'

0:54:14 > 0:54:15Duck Beach is good.

0:54:16 > 0:54:21# We won't be sleepless

0:54:21 > 0:54:26# And we'll get better each night

0:54:26 > 0:54:30# Cos we're not afraid of dying

0:54:30 > 0:54:34# We're afraid of wanting... #

0:54:34 > 0:54:37"The grass is greener" syndrome is a very real syndrome here

0:54:37 > 0:54:41and I think that you can go out with somebody who's fun and cute,

0:54:41 > 0:54:43has a lot going for them

0:54:43 > 0:54:47and, if you just don't hit it off right away,

0:54:47 > 0:54:50or if there's just, you know...

0:54:50 > 0:54:55she chews her dinner with her mouth open once, you know,

0:54:55 > 0:54:58you can quickly rule her out, because there's five other girls

0:54:58 > 0:55:00that you think are cute that you want to take out and so you

0:55:00 > 0:55:02just don't give things a legitimate chance.

0:55:04 > 0:55:06'I'm interested in Melissa.'

0:55:06 > 0:55:10Taken her out on three dates since we got back from Duck,

0:55:10 > 0:55:13we're going on a fourth tomorrow and...

0:55:14 > 0:55:16..I'm trying.

0:55:23 > 0:55:26We're friends, we're friends.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29We're buds. We'll see. Who knows?

0:55:30 > 0:55:34But he's great, this guy's great, another guy's great.

0:55:35 > 0:55:39Of course, I'm not sure. Of course I'm not sure. If I was sure, I'd say.

0:55:39 > 0:55:41But I'm not sure, because...

0:55:42 > 0:55:43..I'm just not.

0:55:43 > 0:55:45Maybe that's a problem of mine.

0:55:45 > 0:55:47Not just with him, with everyone.

0:55:47 > 0:55:48With everyone I date.

0:55:52 > 0:55:57# Redefine God

0:55:57 > 0:56:02# As something that you want... #

0:56:02 > 0:56:04Duck Beach is just this weekend where

0:56:04 > 0:56:10I was kind of ripped apart by the social barbarity of Mormon singles.

0:56:10 > 0:56:13In part that was true, but in part I'm really glad that I went.

0:56:13 > 0:56:16I mean, it was an experience and it was experience where, you know,

0:56:16 > 0:56:19when you kind of find yourself very visibly excluded

0:56:19 > 0:56:22and kind of on the fringe...

0:56:23 > 0:56:28..you think... You kind of step back and think about, "Why is this?"

0:56:28 > 0:56:30You question why.

0:56:30 > 0:56:35I found that it was an immensely helpful experience in thinking

0:56:35 > 0:56:37more deeply about who I am,

0:56:37 > 0:56:39what it is that I'm doing

0:56:39 > 0:56:40and what it is that I want.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44As far as prospects go,

0:56:44 > 0:56:47chi sa, who knows, right?

0:56:48 > 0:56:51There's one girl I've got to follow up with when I get back.

0:56:52 > 0:56:53'I'm not going to give up.'

0:56:56 > 0:56:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd