My Lost Son

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0:00:11 > 0:00:17This is a story of love and loss that spans a lifetime.

0:00:18 > 0:00:20As a young single woman,

0:00:20 > 0:00:23Carol King Eckersley gave birth to a boy

0:00:23 > 0:00:25and gave him for adoption.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36She's longed to know how his life turned out.

0:00:36 > 0:00:41In April 2013, she decided to find out.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45And so began an extraordinary journey -

0:00:45 > 0:00:48Carol's search for her lost son.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53I typed his name in

0:00:53 > 0:00:56and it brought me to a website.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58And I looked and I said, "My God, it's him."

0:00:58 > 0:01:01It was his birth date.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02And I looked in the mirror and I said,

0:01:02 > 0:01:04"He looks like me."

0:01:05 > 0:01:08"But why are they only showing a part of his life?"

0:01:10 > 0:01:15And it finally dawned on me that it was right

0:01:15 > 0:01:20and I just said, "My God, my baby's dead."

0:01:33 > 0:01:37Ken Bissett was one of 35 Syracuse University students

0:01:37 > 0:01:40who died on the flight home from a term in London.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- BBC NEWS:- As relatives of those killed in the Lockerbie bombing

0:01:43 > 0:01:45prepare to mark the 25th anniversary of the attack,

0:01:45 > 0:01:48the anguish of one mother has only just begun.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51We love you, sweetheart.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55As relatives gathered to remember, 25 years on,

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Carol was attending for the very first time,

0:01:58 > 0:02:00having only just learned of her loss.

0:02:00 > 0:02:06Even though I didn't have him with me physically

0:02:06 > 0:02:09he was always in my heart.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Having covered Carol's story at the time,

0:02:11 > 0:02:13I've kept in touch with her

0:02:13 > 0:02:16and as the months have passed, I've wondered how she's coping.

0:02:16 > 0:02:21So, I've come to see her at home in Portland, Oregon, to find out.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23- Hi, Carol.- Glenn!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25- It's so good to see you. - Great to see you, too.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27'Since we last met,

0:02:27 > 0:02:30'Carol's learned a lot about her son.'

0:02:30 > 0:02:32'She has a folder on his life,

0:02:32 > 0:02:35'which has been filling up as some of those who knew Ken

0:02:35 > 0:02:37'have got in touch.'

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Not only have I met one of his best friends from high school,

0:02:40 > 0:02:47I've, via e-mail, met a girl who lived next door to him

0:02:47 > 0:02:50and knew him while he was a toddler.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52And she sent me pictures.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- That's a cracking picture. - Isn't that wonderful?

0:03:05 > 0:03:09Ken died two days after his 21st birthday.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13His parents, John and Flo Bissett, lost their only child.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17It was so devastating for his parents.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19He was their life.

0:03:19 > 0:03:23- They were good parents. - Very good, very good.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27Everything I wanted for him...

0:03:27 > 0:03:29came through.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31That's what I wanted.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34I wanted him to have a mum and a dad who loved each other

0:03:34 > 0:03:36and loved him.

0:03:36 > 0:03:41And could allow him to be the best he could be,

0:03:41 > 0:03:44and be unconditional in their love.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45And that's what he got.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Carol's album gives her a glimpse into the life Ken led.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56But she wants more.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59And she doesn't have to travel far to find it.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Mike Nicholas is one of Ken's best friends from school in New York

0:04:03 > 0:04:07and by coincidence he now lives near Carol in Portland.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11He can tell her what Ken was like as a teenager.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14So we went to a lot of jazz clubs in Manhattan.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16And kind of hung out a lot,

0:04:16 > 0:04:20all throughout senior year and on into college.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24We would stay up all night talking, you know, about why.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28You know?! Whether it was music, or Springsteen at the time,

0:04:28 > 0:04:31or jazz...or, you know, God

0:04:31 > 0:04:32or lack thereof.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35But we would, you know, talk all night long.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I mean, I don't know if any of us needed sleep.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Ken is so important to Mike

0:04:42 > 0:04:46that he gave the name Bissett to one of his children.

0:04:46 > 0:04:51My middle child, her name is Ava Bissett Nicholas.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54She is Ava Bissett Nicholas because of Ken.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Ken meant a lot to me.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01I picked the name cos that's how I use middle names,

0:05:01 > 0:05:03is to honour people before me.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09I think I've learned more from Mike than anybody

0:05:09 > 0:05:11about the kind of person he was.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14It makes him real for me.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18It makes him a real person.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22And when you have a real person

0:05:22 > 0:05:25you can really grieve.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32And that's the gift I've been given.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34You know?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I think it'll be the Saturday after we get back...

0:05:42 > 0:05:46Carol's older sister Sandi has been by her side

0:05:46 > 0:05:48ever since she brought Ken into the world.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50They are best friends.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53And Carol needs that support now more than ever,

0:05:53 > 0:05:57as she takes the next steps on her journey.

0:05:57 > 0:05:58At their favourite restaurant,

0:05:58 > 0:06:01Carol and Sandi are planning to visit the United Kingdom,

0:06:01 > 0:06:05where Ken spent the last months of his life.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07As far as I know we're leaving at 3:30,

0:06:07 > 0:06:10going up through Vancouver

0:06:10 > 0:06:15and we'll arrive in London at 11:40am.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18In London, they'll meet the man who taught Ken photography.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20They're also steeling themselves

0:06:20 > 0:06:25to visit the town where Ken was one of 270 people who died.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27When we go to Lockerbie

0:06:27 > 0:06:34I know they can show me where they found Ken.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36I've thought about it a lot.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38I didn't know if I could do that

0:06:38 > 0:06:41but I want to.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43(I want to.)

0:06:43 > 0:06:45I want to go the whole trip.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- That's going to be rough. - It's going to be very rough.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53When Carol and Sandi were young,

0:06:53 > 0:06:57children born outside marriage were not talked about.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01For decades, Carol's baby was their secret.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03It wasn't until I was in Syracuse

0:07:03 > 0:07:06that the stigma of being an unmarried mother...

0:07:06 > 0:07:11I realised I had been carrying that for 46 years.

0:07:12 > 0:07:17And I was finally able to let it go because I did belong.

0:07:18 > 0:07:19I WAS his mother.

0:07:21 > 0:07:26Carol's lightened her emotional burden by confronting her past.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28She was advised to so by a grief counsellor

0:07:28 > 0:07:30after her husband died.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34She hopes the painful journey ahead will heal her further

0:07:34 > 0:07:37and serve a wider purpose.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I just feel like...

0:07:40 > 0:07:43If I can help anybody,

0:07:43 > 0:07:47like the mums who were in the same position I was,

0:07:47 > 0:07:50back in the '60s,

0:07:50 > 0:07:53if I can be of any help to them...

0:07:53 > 0:07:57to let them know that they're OK.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Carol and Sandi are crossing the Atlantic Ocean,

0:08:09 > 0:08:12just as Ken did a generation ago.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16It was a journey from which he did not return.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Now Carol wants to walk where Ken walked

0:08:19 > 0:08:22in the hope that it will bring her closer to her son.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48Oh, heavenly days, is that Westminster?

0:08:48 > 0:08:50- It has to be.- Oh, my gosh.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Wow, there's Big Ben.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59As well as sightseeing in London,

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Carol and Sandi want to retrace Ken's steps

0:09:03 > 0:09:06with help from his photography professor, Ian Hessenberg.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10As you know, it was 25 years ago

0:09:10 > 0:09:14and I still have very strong memories of those kids, you know,

0:09:14 > 0:09:15and especially Ken.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Ian's a link to the precious last days of Ken's life.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23He can show Carol the flat where Ken lived

0:09:23 > 0:09:26and the places he explored here in London.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30More than that, he can show her a little of who Ken really was.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, I love that.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37OK, so with the comparison there...

0:09:37 > 0:09:39He was a lovely, cheeky boy.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41He was very sweet.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- He had a good sense of humour, didn't he?- Amazing!

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Very dry sense of humour and he was very cheeky.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48This cheeky young man

0:09:48 > 0:09:51was one of five promising students taught by Ian

0:09:51 > 0:09:55who boarded Pan Am's ill-fated Flight 103.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57It was a kind of paradox that those five

0:09:57 > 0:10:00that I lost on that Lockerbie flight

0:10:00 > 0:10:03were one of the best groups I'd ever had.

0:10:03 > 0:10:08And it's not just sentimental, they really were amazing.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13It was devastating to lose them...

0:10:14 > 0:10:16- So...- Oh, my.

0:10:16 > 0:10:22But in a way the celebration is that I learnt from them,

0:10:22 > 0:10:25as fresh as their lives were...

0:10:25 > 0:10:26And...

0:10:31 > 0:10:34They just should have gone on a lot longer.

0:10:34 > 0:10:38Still, after all these years, I still think of them.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41- You know? It's crazy, absolutely crazy.- Oh...

0:10:41 > 0:10:43- CRYING: I definitely understand that. - Yeah.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50The building Ken studied in

0:10:50 > 0:10:55is included in Ian's tour of what was, in 1988, Syracuse London.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00That's the campus, here.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04We would have come out of my classroom here

0:11:04 > 0:11:07and that basement, little steps up,

0:11:07 > 0:11:11that's where my class would have come out our exit.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14They would have all night access to the building.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17OK, hon.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19If we want to go across the road, now...

0:11:21 > 0:11:24- CAROL SOBS - Oh, honey.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50ORGAN MUSIC

0:11:58 > 0:12:03It's been a little...gut-wrenching.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07I felt like he was right there with me.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12And I was walking with him,

0:12:12 > 0:12:15not just where he had walked.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17- And we'd have great fun down there. - Was the gate there?

0:12:17 > 0:12:20This is the gate where he would have walked in, yeah.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24'I felt him so strongly at one point'

0:12:24 > 0:12:26I thought I might pass out.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30I'm sorry, Ian, I didn't expect it to hit me quite that hard.

0:12:30 > 0:12:36- Are you glad you came? - Oh, I am so glad I came.

0:12:36 > 0:12:37Never apologise for your tears.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39That's what it's all about.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42'I don't care if I lose all of my mascara.'

0:12:42 > 0:12:44I wouldn't have missed this for anything.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

0:13:20 > 0:13:24The next stop on Carol's journey is the Scottish capital.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35She's discovered that in his last few months

0:13:35 > 0:13:39Ken visited Edinburgh and its imposing castle with friends.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41In it goes...

0:13:41 > 0:13:42- Oh!- Uh-oh!

0:13:48 > 0:13:51Oh!

0:13:57 > 0:14:00- The sun is out!- The sun is out.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03I believe that you have an enquiry you would like some help with.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Yes, I do.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09This is a picture that was taken of my son,

0:14:09 > 0:14:12who was on Pan Am 103.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- I'd like to find where this is. - Where the picture was taken?

0:14:15 > 0:14:17We don't have to look too far...

0:14:17 > 0:14:21- OK.- ..because this doorway here

0:14:21 > 0:14:23is actually this doorway here.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Oh, my word!- Oh, for heaven's sake. It is.- Yeah.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31Look at the boys. I mean, they are having a wonderful time.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34- Beautiful.- Oh, my.- Oh, my.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36So, we're standing right at the location

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- where the photograph was taken. - Oh, my!

0:14:38 > 0:14:41# We keep this love in a photograph

0:14:43 > 0:14:47# We made these memories for ourselves

0:14:47 > 0:14:49# Where our eyes are never closing

0:14:49 > 0:14:51# Hearts are never broken

0:14:51 > 0:14:54# And time's for ever frozen still... #

0:14:54 > 0:14:59Every snapshot is of huge importance to Carol.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01That's all I have.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05I can never touch him,

0:15:05 > 0:15:08I can never hear his voice.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13The things that mothers always take for granted.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21This is Carol's first visit to Scotland

0:15:21 > 0:15:23but she has already made a friend here.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27Marion McMillan has been a huge source of strength to her.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30But until now, they've only exchanged online hugs.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32There she is.

0:15:32 > 0:15:33Hi!

0:15:33 > 0:15:36At last, they have the chance to meet.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40- A real tartan hug! - A real tartan hug.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Not only do Carol and Marion share friendship,

0:15:43 > 0:15:45they also share the experience

0:15:45 > 0:15:48of being separated from a child by adoption.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51With Marion, Carol knows she's talking with someone

0:15:51 > 0:15:54who really understands.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- See, you're building him... - A picture.- I am!

0:15:57 > 0:15:58- I'm building him up.- Yeah.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01When I talked to his friend Mike,

0:16:01 > 0:16:06Mike said it was never a secret that he was adopted,

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- that that was well known. - Mm-hm, yeah.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13You really do weep with those that weep

0:16:13 > 0:16:15because you understand their journey.

0:16:15 > 0:16:19And I knew that she had a big bit of journey to go.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22And if she felt that there was others there

0:16:22 > 0:16:23walking that walk with her,

0:16:23 > 0:16:25she wasn't alone.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30As unmarried mums in the 1960s,

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Carol and Marion were frowned upon by society.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37Many thousands of women have silently suffered that stigma.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46That's my Anthony.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49But attitudes have changed and the film Philomena,

0:16:49 > 0:16:52about another mother's search for her lost son,

0:16:52 > 0:16:54has opened up this difficult subject.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56He's dead, isn't he?

0:16:56 > 0:16:57Yes, I'm sorry.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02SHE SOBS

0:17:09 > 0:17:12I just...

0:17:14 > 0:17:15It's OK.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25She found her son, just like you.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27'Even though...'

0:17:29 > 0:17:35..the treatment of the person can be different,

0:17:35 > 0:17:38the emotions are the same.

0:17:40 > 0:17:47The deep longing for your child...

0:17:47 > 0:17:49is the same.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Oh, my God. - It's like your journey, isn't it?

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Oh, it's so close in so many ways.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Your children that you're separated from

0:18:00 > 0:18:03don't believe that you think about them every day.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05There's an umbilical link that never severs.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09There's a psychological link that's there.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12You're mentally attached to them but they're physically gone,

0:18:12 > 0:18:14and they're there the whole time.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19Carol has travelled far from home to get closer to her son.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22In New York, London and Edinburgh

0:18:22 > 0:18:25she's pieced together the life Ken had.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28But the hardest leg of her journey is still ahead -

0:18:28 > 0:18:32to learn exactly how his life ended in Lockerbie.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Here's Tundergarth.- That's it.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38That was where the nose cone went

0:18:38 > 0:18:42and the people that were in the front of the plane were found.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44We need to go out there.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51'I have knots in my stomach.'

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Why am I doing this?

0:18:54 > 0:18:56He had a short life.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01I want to find out as much about those 21 years as I can.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05So how can I not do this?

0:19:14 > 0:19:17In Lockerbie, they're meeting a local police officer

0:19:17 > 0:19:19who was on duty on the night of the crash.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23Colin Dorrance has offered to be their guide.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26At 18, Colin was the youngest police officer

0:19:26 > 0:19:28to deal with the devastation.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31He's been reluctant to talk about it in the past.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33But he wants to help Carol understand

0:19:33 > 0:19:35the enormity of what happened.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41A few days before Christmas 1988,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44the world woke to these unforgettable images

0:19:44 > 0:19:48of what remains the deadliest terrorist attack in the UK.

0:19:50 > 0:19:55Colin's taking Carol and Sandi to where the nose cone came down.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58It was approximately this spot, here.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08- Almost exactly here. That's south, there...- OK.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11..and that's the general direction

0:20:11 > 0:20:14that international air traffic from Heathrow,

0:20:14 > 0:20:17bound for the USA, would travel.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20So the aircraft would come from that way.

0:20:20 > 0:20:25- You just can't...- The scope. It's hard to visualise, you know?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Even though I've seen the picture of the cockpit.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38There were bodies scattered across this hillside.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Local doctors, called out to check for signs of life,

0:20:41 > 0:20:43found no survivors.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46At least one of these medics still lives in the town.

0:20:46 > 0:20:51Dr Ken McQueen certified the deaths of many passengers.

0:20:51 > 0:20:55Carol's come to ask him how much her son would have suffered.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57I've been told

0:20:57 > 0:21:03that probably they were pretty much instantly gone.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Is that true?

0:21:05 > 0:21:06I think there's uncertainty

0:21:06 > 0:21:08but to the best of my knowledge and belief

0:21:08 > 0:21:10it's probable that they'd be unconscious

0:21:10 > 0:21:13from immediately after that.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16There'd be an explosion within the aeroplane

0:21:16 > 0:21:20and there'd be oxygen-free air

0:21:20 > 0:21:23so that consciousness would at least be clouded.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yes.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28And I think if that could be any comfort to you...

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- It was a comfort to me, you know? - It was.- It is.- Yes.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Yes, thank you very much.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35You're more than welcome, my dear, you're more than welcome.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38I know that your son was adopted, we know the story.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41And I'd like you to think that he's been adopted twice, Carol,

0:21:41 > 0:21:44- cos we've adopted him too. - Thank you.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46As we have with all the rest of the people

0:21:46 > 0:21:48that we never met and will never know.

0:21:48 > 0:21:52But I think the town has taken them all to their hearts.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08SIRENS

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Wreckage fell across Lockerbie,

0:22:21 > 0:22:24leaving a huge crater where homes had been

0:22:24 > 0:22:25in one corner of town.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32Today Colin is taking Carol to another quiet neighbourhood

0:22:32 > 0:22:36where part of the plane and dozens of passengers came down.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Every step of Carol's journey so far

0:22:39 > 0:22:42has been a preparation for this moment.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46The miracle of this area here

0:22:46 > 0:22:51- is that no resident was killed or badly hurt.- It's amazing.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54It's just totally amazing.

0:22:54 > 0:22:58But this was however an area where many of the passengers,

0:22:58 > 0:23:01including Kenneth, fell.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Was it down in the yard here, Colin?

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Yes.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34(It's so damned far to fall.)

0:23:52 > 0:23:57- Oh, look at the tree.- Oh, you can see the train going by.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Not many of those who lived in these streets at the time of the crash

0:24:15 > 0:24:16live here now.

0:24:16 > 0:24:20But Carol's heard that this house has not changed hands

0:24:20 > 0:24:21and that the owner, Peter Giesecke,

0:24:21 > 0:24:25will share his experiences of that awful night.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27I seen this red glow in the sky,

0:24:27 > 0:24:30coming right across, right over the top, there,

0:24:30 > 0:24:33and then this huge explosion.

0:24:43 > 0:24:48Peter took photographs of the scene on the morning after the crash.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51There were bodies all over, all over here, you know?

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Absolutely. That's one of them.

0:24:54 > 0:25:00Well, here we have here, we're standing just over there.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01Oh, my gosh.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Oh, my little boy might be in that.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12The wreckage may be long gone

0:25:12 > 0:25:15but the emotional impact of the Lockerbie bombing

0:25:15 > 0:25:18remains extremely powerful.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Especially for Carol,

0:25:20 > 0:25:23who is probably the last person in the world

0:25:23 > 0:25:26to have learned of a loved one lost here.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31SHE SIGHS There's Kenny.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42CRYING: It shouldn't have happened.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45(It just shouldn't have happened.)

0:26:02 > 0:26:04You shouldn't be there.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13'He was so...'

0:26:16 > 0:26:19..ready to be a grown-up

0:26:19 > 0:26:24and live a good life

0:26:24 > 0:26:26and be a good person

0:26:26 > 0:26:30and he never had the chance.

0:26:34 > 0:26:35Here you are.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39These are for you.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47No, I'm not OK.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51- I hurt.- Oh, honey.- I hurt.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02SHE SOBS

0:27:10 > 0:27:16All the horror and the sorrow just kind of all came together

0:27:16 > 0:27:19and at one point I thought,

0:27:19 > 0:27:23"I just want to wail and wail and not stop."

0:27:23 > 0:27:26But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Yes.

0:27:31 > 0:27:32OK.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38- OK?- I'm OK, I'm OK...

0:27:45 > 0:27:46All right...

0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Do you want to sit down?- Yeah.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51'I've learned that'

0:27:51 > 0:27:54the adoption process

0:27:54 > 0:27:57is something that is not understood enough.

0:27:57 > 0:27:59I know I didn't.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01I didn't.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03I gave Ken in adoption

0:28:03 > 0:28:07for what I thought were all the best reasons -

0:28:07 > 0:28:08so he would have a home

0:28:08 > 0:28:10with a mother and a father who loved each other

0:28:10 > 0:28:12and could love him.

0:28:13 > 0:28:18But I didn't know what it was going to do to me...

0:28:18 > 0:28:21and how it would affect me for the rest of my life.