My Lost Son

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:00:00. > :00:07.killed a four`year`old boy. He is the fourth Israeli civilian to be

:00:08. > :00:13.killed. Now, My Lost Son, the story of a mother who learned of her son

:00:14. > :00:26.was killed in the Lockerbie bombing. This is a story of love and

:00:27. > :00:31.loss that spans a lifetime. As a young single woman, Carol King

:00:32. > :00:44.Eckersley gave birth to a boy and gave him for adoption. She has

:00:45. > :00:51.longed to know how his life turned out. In April, 2013, she decided to

:00:52. > :01:01.find out and so began an extraordinary journey. Her search

:01:02. > :01:09.for her lost son. I typed his name in and it brought me to a website

:01:10. > :01:22.and I looked and I said, " My God! It is him! " And it was him. But why

:01:23. > :01:27.were they only showing a part of his life? But it finally dawned on me

:01:28. > :01:45.that it was right and I said, " My God! My baby is dead! " Ken Bissett

:01:46. > :01:51.was one of 35 university students who died on the flight home from a

:01:52. > :01:54.town in London. As relatives of those killed in the Lockerbie

:01:55. > :01:57.bombing prepares to mark the 25th anniversary of the attack the

:01:58. > :02:04.anguish of one mother has only just begun. As relatives gathered to

:02:05. > :02:08.remember 25 years on, Carol was attending for the very first time,

:02:09. > :02:15.having only just learned of her loss. Even though I did not have him

:02:16. > :02:22.with me physically, he was always in my heart. Having covered her story

:02:23. > :02:27.at the time, I have kept in touch with her and as the months have

:02:28. > :02:31.passed, I have wondered how she is coping, so I have come to see her at

:02:32. > :02:38.home in Portland, Oregon, to find out. Hello, Carol! Since we last

:02:39. > :02:43.met, she has learned a lot about her son. She has a folder on his life,

:02:44. > :02:51.which has been filling up, as some of those who knew Ken Bissett have

:02:52. > :02:56.got in touch. I'm one of his best friends in school and on e`mail met

:02:57. > :03:03.a girl who lived next door to him and knew him while he was a toddler,

:03:04. > :03:17.and she sent the pictures. `` sent me some pictures. That is a cracking

:03:18. > :03:22.picture! Isn't that wonderful? Ken Bissett died two days after his 21st

:03:23. > :03:29.birthday. His parents lost their only child. It was so devastating

:03:30. > :03:34.for his parents. He was their life. They were good parents, weren't

:03:35. > :03:42.they? They were so good. Everything I wanted for him came true. That is

:03:43. > :03:46.what I wanted. I wanted him to have a mother and father who love each

:03:47. > :03:52.other and loved him and could allow him to be the best he could be and

:03:53. > :04:04.be unconditionally loved and that is what he got. Carol 's album gives

:04:05. > :04:09.her a glimpse into life Ken led but she wants more and does not have to

:04:10. > :04:13.travel far to find it. Michael is one of Ken's best friends from

:04:14. > :04:18.school in New York and by coincidence, he now lives near Carol

:04:19. > :04:26.in Portland. He can tell her what Ken was like as a teenager. We went

:04:27. > :04:30.to a lot of jazz clubs and hung out a lot all through the New Year and

:04:31. > :04:39.into college. We would stay up all night, talking about life. Whether

:04:40. > :04:44.it was music, Springsteen at the time, music, jazz, God or the lack

:04:45. > :04:52.thereof. We would talk all night long. I don't know if any of us

:04:53. > :05:05.needed sleep. Ken is so important to Michael that he gave his surname,

:05:06. > :05:11.Bissett, to one of his children. This makes Ken more real to me, it

:05:12. > :05:22.makes him a real person and when you have a real person, you can really

:05:23. > :05:35.grieve. And that is the gift I have been given.

:05:36. > :05:43.Carol's older sister, Sandy, has been by her side ever since she

:05:44. > :05:47.brought Ken into the world. They are best friends and Carol needs that

:05:48. > :05:50.support now more than ever, and she takes the next steps on her

:05:51. > :05:55.journey. At their favourite restaurant, Carol and Sandy are

:05:56. > :06:02.preparing to visit the UK, where Ken spent the last months of his life.

:06:03. > :06:08.We will be leaving at 3:30 PM, going up through Vancouver, and we will

:06:09. > :06:13.arrive in London at 11:40am. In London, they will meet the man who

:06:14. > :06:17.taught Ken photography. They are also steeling themselves to visit

:06:18. > :06:23.the town where Ken was one of 270 people who died. When we go to

:06:24. > :06:29.Lockerbie, I know that they can show me where they found Ken. I have

:06:30. > :06:37.thought about it a lot. I did not know if I could do that but I want

:06:38. > :06:44.to, I want to. I want to go the whole trip. It's going to be rough.

:06:45. > :06:48.It's going to be brutal. When Carol and Sandy were young, children born

:06:49. > :06:55.outside marriage would not talk about. For decades, Carol's baby was

:06:56. > :06:59.their secrets. It was not until I was here that these did not of being

:07:00. > :07:06.an unmarried mother... I realised that I had been carrying that for 46

:07:07. > :07:17.years. And I was finally able to let it go because I did belong. I was

:07:18. > :07:22.his mother. Carol has lightened her emotional border by `` burdened by

:07:23. > :07:25.confronting her past. She was advised to do so by a grief

:07:26. > :07:29.counsellor after her husband died. She hopes the painful journey ahead

:07:30. > :07:37.will heal her further and serve a wider purpose. I feel like if I can

:07:38. > :07:43.help anybody like the mothers who were in the same position that I

:07:44. > :08:00.was, back in the 1960s, if I can be of any help to them to let them know

:08:01. > :08:05.that they are OK. Carol and Sandy are crossing the Atlantic Ocean,

:08:06. > :08:12.just as Ken did a generation ago. It was a journey from which he did not

:08:13. > :08:38.return. Now, Carol wants to walk where Ken walked in the hope it will

:08:39. > :08:49.bring her closer to her son. Oh, heavenly days! Is that Westminster?

:08:50. > :08:54.Oh, my gosh! That is Big Ben! As well as sightseeing in London, Carol

:08:55. > :09:03.and Sandy wanted retrace Ken's steps with help from his photography

:09:04. > :09:07.professor Ian Hessen bird. It was 25 years ago and still I have very

:09:08. > :09:14.strong memories of those kids, especially Ken. He is a link to the

:09:15. > :09:19.precious last days of Ken's life. He can show Carol the flat where Ken

:09:20. > :09:25.lived and the places he explored in London. More than that, he can show

:09:26. > :09:32.Carol a little of who Ken really was. You can see the comparison

:09:33. > :09:40.there. He was a lovely, cheeky boy. He was very sweet. A good sense of

:09:41. > :09:45.humour. Amazing. A very bright sense of humour. Amazing. This cheeky

:09:46. > :09:52.young man was one of five and students taught by Ian who boarded

:09:53. > :09:59.Pan Am Flight 103. The building Ken studied in is included in Ian's tour

:10:00. > :10:08.of what was in 1998 Syracuse London. That is the campus. We would

:10:09. > :10:14.have come out of my classroom here. Steps up from the basement. That is

:10:15. > :10:26.where my class would have come out. And they would have all night access

:10:27. > :11:01.to the building. It's OK, honey. (SOBBING). Honey, oh, honey.

:11:02. > :11:12.It has been a little... Gut wrenching. I felt like he was right

:11:13. > :11:22.there with me and I was walking with him, not just where he had walked.

:11:23. > :11:29.They had great fun down there. Was the gate there are? I felt him so

:11:30. > :11:38.strongly at 1.I thought I might pass out. I'm sorry. I did not expect it

:11:39. > :11:46.to hit me quite like that. Are you glad you came? Oh, I'm so glad I

:11:47. > :11:50.came. Never apologise for your tears. That is what this is all

:11:51. > :12:23.about. The next stop on Carol's journey is

:12:24. > :12:40.the Scottish capital. She has discovered that in his last

:12:41. > :12:53.few months, Ken visited the area with friends.

:12:54. > :13:10.I believe you have an enquiry you would like some help with. Yes, I

:13:11. > :13:16.do. This was a picture that was taken off my son. He was on Pan Am

:13:17. > :13:24.103. I'd like to find where this picture was taken. We don't have to

:13:25. > :13:29.look too far. K. Because this tour right here is actually be a store

:13:30. > :13:37.right here. For heavens sake! It is. Look at the boys. They are having a

:13:38. > :13:38.wonderful time. Beautiful. We are standing right at the location where

:13:39. > :14:04.the photo was taken. Every snapshot is of huge importance

:14:05. > :14:13.to Carol. That's all I have. I can never touch him, I can never hear

:14:14. > :14:20.his voice. The things that mothers always take for granted.

:14:21. > :14:28.This is Carol's first visit to Scotland but she has already made a

:14:29. > :14:32.friend here. This couple have been a huge source of strength to her but

:14:33. > :14:43.until now they have only exchanged online hugs. At last they have the

:14:44. > :14:48.chance to meet. A real hug! Not only do they share friendship, we also

:14:49. > :14:54.share the experience of being separated from a child by adoption.

:14:55. > :15:02.With Marion, Carol knows she is talking to someone who really

:15:03. > :15:08.understands. When I talk to his friend Mike, he said it was never a

:15:09. > :15:18.secret that he was adopted. That it was well known. You weep with those

:15:19. > :15:25.who weep because you understand. I knew that she had a big journey to

:15:26. > :15:33.grow. If she felt we were there, walking with her, she wasn't alone.

:15:34. > :15:37.As I married mums in the 1960s, they were frowned upon by society. Many

:15:38. > :15:50.thousands of women have silently suffered that stigma. But attitudes

:15:51. > :15:52.have changed and the film Philomena about another mother's search for

:15:53. > :16:10.her son has opened up this difficult subject.

:16:11. > :16:39.Even though the treatment of the person can be different, the

:16:40. > :16:49.emotions are the same. The deep longing for your child is the same.

:16:50. > :17:00.So close in so many ways. Carol has travelled far from home to get

:17:01. > :17:05.closer to her son. In New York, London and Edinburgh, she is pieced

:17:06. > :17:10.together the life Ken had. At the hardest leg of her journey is still

:17:11. > :17:19.ahead. `` pot. To learn exactly how his life ended in Lockerbie. That

:17:20. > :17:21.was where the nose went went, and the people in the front of the plane

:17:22. > :17:37.fell. It blew up there. I have not in my stomach. Why am I

:17:38. > :17:40.doing this? `` knots in. He had a short life. I want to find out as

:17:41. > :17:53.much about those 21 years as I can. How can I not do this?

:17:54. > :18:00.In Lockerbie, they are meeting local police officer who was on duty on

:18:01. > :18:05.the night of the crash. Colin has offered to be their guide. At 18,

:18:06. > :18:09.Colin was the youngest police officer to deal with the

:18:10. > :18:12.devastation. He has been reluctant to talk about it in the past but he

:18:13. > :18:16.wants to help Carol understand the enormity of what happened.

:18:17. > :18:25.A few days before Christmas, 1988, the world of work to these

:18:26. > :18:31.unforgettable images of what remains the deadliest terrorist attack in

:18:32. > :18:42.the UK. Colin is taking Carol and Sandy to wear the nose came down. It

:18:43. > :18:49.was approximately the spot here. `` this spot. Almost exactly here.

:18:50. > :18:55.That's the south. But the general direction that the international air

:18:56. > :19:03.traffic from Heathrow, bound for the USA, would travel. The aircraft

:19:04. > :19:12.would come from that way. The scope, it's hard to visualise. Even though

:19:13. > :19:18.I've seen the pitch of the cockpit. `` the picture. There were bodies

:19:19. > :19:23.scattered across the hillside. Local doctors were called out to check for

:19:24. > :19:28.signs of life but that `` but found no survivors. At least one of these

:19:29. > :19:31.medics still lives in the town. The doctor certified the deaths of many

:19:32. > :19:38.passengers. Carol has come to ask him how much her son would have

:19:39. > :19:44.suffered. I've been told that probably they were pretty much

:19:45. > :19:51.instantly gone. Is that true? I think there is uncertainty but to

:19:52. > :19:53.the best of my knowledge it is probable that they were unconscious

:19:54. > :20:02.from immediately after the explosion in the aeroplane. There would be

:20:03. > :20:05.oxygen free air, so that consciousness would at least be

:20:06. > :20:12.clouded. I think if that could be any comfort to you, it's a comfort

:20:13. > :20:41.to me. It was. Thank you very much. You are more than welcome.

:20:42. > :20:48.Wreckage fell across Lockerbie, leaving a huge crater where homes

:20:49. > :20:53.had been in one corner of town. Today, Colin is taking Carol to

:20:54. > :21:00.another quiet neighbourhood where part of the plane and dozens of

:21:01. > :21:06.passengers came down. Every step of Carol's journey so far has been a

:21:07. > :21:14.preparation for this moment. The miracle of this area is that no

:21:15. > :21:20.resident was killed. Amazing. It's just totally amazing. But this was,

:21:21. > :21:32.however, an area where many of the passengers, including Kenneth, fell.

:21:33. > :22:22.The wreckage might be long gone but the emotional impact of the

:22:23. > :22:27.Lockerbie bombing remains extremely powerful. Especially for Carol, who

:22:28. > :22:28.is probably the last person in the world to have learned of a loved one

:22:29. > :23:29.lost here. He was so ready to be a grown`up and

:23:30. > :23:42.live. The good life and be a good person. He never had the chance.

:23:43. > :24:15.These are for you. No, I'm not OK. I hurt.

:24:16. > :24:25.All the horror and the sorrow just kind of all came together and at 1.I

:24:26. > :24:31.thought I just want to weigh all and wail. `` wail and wail. But I

:24:32. > :24:59.thought I wouldn't be able to stop. Do you want to sit down? I learned

:25:00. > :25:10.that the adoption process is something that is not understood

:25:11. > :25:13.enough. I know I didn't. I didn't. I gave Ken to adoption for what I

:25:14. > :25:18.thought were all the best reasons, so he would have a home with a

:25:19. > :25:21.mother and father who loved each other and could love him but I

:25:22. > :25:24.didn't know what it was going to do to me. And how it would affect me

:25:25. > :26:09.for the rest of my life. For many of us this weekend is a

:26:10. > :26:12.bank holiday weekend and it actually looking pretty decent, with some

:26:13. > :26:16.spells of sunshine on Saturday and Sunday. Nights will be chilly,

:26:17. > :26:17.especially Saturday night. Into