0:00:02 > 0:00:02and through hormone treatment and surgery,
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Every year, a growing number of people find the courage
0:00:06 > 0:00:08to come out as transgender.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10This is me, get over it!
0:00:10 > 0:00:14But finding love when you're trans is as difficult as ever.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17I'm jealous of just about every single other woman out there.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21Existing relationships crack under the strain.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Lots of arguing and screaming.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Most families break apart.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Miss them so much.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30It is extremely tough for children...
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I was picked on, it was horrible.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33..and partners.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Can I actually do this?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37But in the face of these challenges,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40there are couples trying to make it work...
0:00:40 > 0:00:42If you love someone, you love someone.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44It doesn't really matter, like, what anyone else says.
0:00:44 > 0:00:49And families whose love is strong enough to survive a mum, dad,
0:00:49 > 0:00:52husband or wife changing gender.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54I'm so happy.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I'm so happy right now, it's unbelievable!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07MUSIC: Let's Work Together by Canned Heat
0:01:12 > 0:01:14# Together we stand
0:01:14 > 0:01:16# Divided we fall... #
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Justine works at Peterhead harbour,
0:01:19 > 0:01:23installing and repairing marine electronic equipment
0:01:23 > 0:01:24on fishing trawlers.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28She has worked here for more than 25 years.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32The lights are going up and down with me just moving the cable.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35That'll have to come off, a bit later on. Oh!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37That'll be a three-person job.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41A woman working on fishing boats is unusual enough.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44But Justine is even more unique.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49For the first 20 years she worked here, she was a man called Justin.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Probably need to immerse if it's got a nick in the cable already.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53You'll get water in there.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Then five years ago, she took her workmates by surprise
0:01:56 > 0:01:59and began coming to work as a woman.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Coming out was my biggest fear round here.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03They were a bit wary.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05There were certain boats I wasn't allowed to come down,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08because they thought...obviously they thought they were going to
0:02:08 > 0:02:10catch something, or maybe make them gay or something, stupidly.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Have your lights been OK since we've cut it back?
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Aye, aye. Aye? Great, aye. Great.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22We probably first noticed it when she came on the boat, a few
0:02:22 > 0:02:25years ago, the long fingernails and the red hair.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Now, looking back and after what she's done,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29that was maybe the start of it.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Years ago, it was frowned upon when people got divorced, I think.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Now, everybody does it. Know what I mean?
0:02:36 > 0:02:41So, I think transgender people are more acceptable as well, I think.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Sailing at four o'clock today.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45So, no pressure, it needs to be all right!
0:02:45 > 0:02:49'Years ago, when she used to come aboard on her father's boat,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52'she wasn't very talkative when she was a he, you know?'
0:02:52 > 0:02:55And I don't think I actually said two words to her.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58But since she's had transition and became a woman and everything,
0:02:58 > 0:03:03you cannae get her to shut up nowadays, she's very talkative!
0:03:09 > 0:03:13One of the most difficult challenges of coming out as transgender
0:03:13 > 0:03:17is the impact it has on families and relationships.
0:03:17 > 0:03:22It often comes as a dramatic shock when a wife, husband,
0:03:22 > 0:03:27parent or child reveals their need to change gender.
0:03:27 > 0:03:33The usual reactions - confusion, fear, anger and rejection -
0:03:33 > 0:03:37can send relationships into turmoil.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Most don't survive.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Have you done something different with your hair?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54THEY CHUCKLE I've had it cut!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57She says she had her hair cut, but she only got the ends off it.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01So it's not really a haircut, it's a trim.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04For 34 years, Justine lived her life feeling like
0:04:04 > 0:04:06a woman trapped in a man's body.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11But she hid the truth from everyone, including her wife, Julie,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14until one day, she could no longer keep her secret.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Well, I didn't know how to do it at all, I just panicked and went,
0:04:17 > 0:04:20"You're married to a freak." Just out with it.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22And she was like, "What do you mean?"
0:04:22 > 0:04:24And I didn't know what to do then.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27So it was just a case of telling her to go and have a look
0:04:27 > 0:04:30on the webpage I had left for her.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35And...well, lots of arguing, screaming.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Well, we were just...
0:04:38 > 0:04:41You didn't understand why, and had it been a lie?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yeah, had the last 15 years of everything we had been through
0:04:43 > 0:04:45been a lie? Because obviously,
0:04:45 > 0:04:47you're telling me that you weren't the person I thought you were.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52It was a case of, is everything just lies, is any of this real?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Just the total disbelief of, "Where does this leave us?"
0:04:55 > 0:04:59and, you know, "What has the last 15 years been about?"
0:05:02 > 0:05:05And it was kind of, "What the hell do I do?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07"Do I chuck Justin?"
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Do I say, "You know what, there's the door - get!"
0:05:11 > 0:05:16Justine and Julie had to explain to their three children, Samantha,
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Cameron and Morgan, that their dad would soon begin living as a woman,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23and through hormone treatment and surgery,
0:05:23 > 0:05:27would physically change from male to female.
0:05:27 > 0:05:32Their eldest daughter, Samantha, was only 13 at the time.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36We weren't sure how fast things were going to change.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39How to deal with it was a big one.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40They're your parents,
0:05:40 > 0:05:44you get concerned when you hear them wanting to be somebody else.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46You're like, "Oh."
0:05:46 > 0:05:51But that's major, it's not something you take like, "Oh, that's fine!"
0:05:51 > 0:05:53It's life-changing, really.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Before long, news of Justine's transformation
0:05:59 > 0:06:02reached the school playground.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06At the beginning, it was horrendous.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10I had the worst time possible.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15I was picked on, it was horrible.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19I remember getting off my school bus and seeing
0:06:19 > 0:06:24a massive group of pupils, ready to try and go for me.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It was a case of, "What do I do? How do I get through this?"
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I know I'm away to get a beating
0:06:30 > 0:06:33for something that is outwith my control.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36While the kids were facing problems at school,
0:06:36 > 0:06:40mum Julie was struggling with the idea that her husband was now
0:06:40 > 0:06:44living as a woman, and everybody knew.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I thought of it, very, very hard - "Can I actually do this?
0:06:47 > 0:06:51"Can I live with the ridicule of other people?"
0:06:51 > 0:06:54It wasn't what I felt, it wasn't what I thought, it was,
0:06:54 > 0:06:56"How are other people going to react to us?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59"How are other people going to deal with us?"
0:06:59 > 0:07:01And then, once I got my head out my backside and realised that
0:07:01 > 0:07:05it's got sod all to do with anybody else, it's our lives,
0:07:05 > 0:07:09if they don't like it, tough. I'm not asking you to like it.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12If you don't want to be my friend - go. The door's that way.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Those early months were particularly hard, but gradually,
0:07:16 > 0:07:21the bullying stopped and Julie, the kids and the local community
0:07:21 > 0:07:25began to accept Justine's desire to live as a woman.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29It was difficult, but these things take time.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32If you love somebody that much, you stand by them,
0:07:32 > 0:07:34and you help them.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37And I guess that's what happened.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41People say, "Oh, so that makes you a lesbian now?"
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Why? I don't fancy women, I don't fancy men, and I love Just.
0:07:46 > 0:07:53So, lesbian - yes, by default, but is that how I define myself? No.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Justine and Julie are a rare example of
0:07:56 > 0:08:01a couple who have managed to stay together through a transition.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Without family support,
0:08:03 > 0:08:06the emotional strain of being transgender can cause
0:08:06 > 0:08:12severe anxiety, depression and in many cases, suicide.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16So, building strong friendships is essential to survive
0:08:16 > 0:08:19the challenges that trans people face.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22MUSIC PLAYS That's the one.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23A bit of Silence Of The Lambs!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28"It must put on the lotion!"
0:08:28 > 0:08:31HE CHUCKLES
0:08:31 > 0:08:34"It must put on the lotion!"
0:08:35 > 0:08:37DRUMBEAT STARTS
0:08:37 > 0:08:40This is the one where he's fucking dancing.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42The fucking... The gown on.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44He sticks his cock between his legs!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Anne is a 48-year-old bus driver from Perth.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57She was born male, but began living as a woman in 2010.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Last year, she had surgery to physically transform her
0:09:03 > 0:09:05from male to female.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Have you got a banana? I do. Have you got a BIG banana?
0:09:10 > 0:09:12SHE CHUCKLES
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Today, Anne is helping her friend Tadhg move into his new house.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I'm telling everybody I'm your date!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22THEY LAUGH
0:09:22 > 0:09:24You cheeky sod!
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Tadhg is a transgender man, partway through his own journey
0:09:28 > 0:09:31to physically change from female to male.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35The two became friends when Tadhg split from his long-term partner
0:09:35 > 0:09:39and Anne offered him a place to stay.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43It wasn't Anne's fault, but I do remember pulling over on
0:09:43 > 0:09:47the A9 and crying when I was bringing my stuff down, so...
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I was in a very low place when I moved in, and I do remember
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Anne knocking on the door, you know, "You want a cup of tea?"
0:09:53 > 0:09:55THEY LAUGH
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Um, and I kept myself to myself,
0:09:58 > 0:10:03and Anne gave me lots of space and was a really good friend,
0:10:03 > 0:10:07and I'm probably standing here smiling because of her.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09They lived together for nine months,
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Anne transitioning from male to female,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17whilst Tadhg transitioned from female to male.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Toilet conversations before Anne's surgery...
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Anne didn't always lift the seat. No.
0:10:24 > 0:10:30So, you know, I would have to go in and dry off the seat and suchlike,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33so I'm like, "Anne, when you're having your surgery,
0:10:33 > 0:10:36"I'm going to make sure I piss on the seat..."
0:10:36 > 0:10:38And we would laugh in the hallway and go,
0:10:38 > 0:10:42"Nobody else can have this conversation!"
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Anne and Tadhg's close friendship has got them through some tough
0:10:46 > 0:10:52times, but it's no substitute for a meaningful romantic relationship.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54And when you are transgender,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57that is one of the hardest things to achieve.
0:10:57 > 0:11:03# Just call me angel of the morning, angel
0:11:03 > 0:11:09# Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby... #
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Finding someone who is prepared to commit is difficult,
0:11:13 > 0:11:16and approaching the wrong person can be dangerous.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Some guys will become violent if they find out that I used
0:11:22 > 0:11:24to be a man, or just pure nasty.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27That's what scares me the most.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30I just want someone I can come home to,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34or someone to cook for, someone to share my life, you know,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36just to cry and laugh with -
0:11:36 > 0:11:39you know, normal things that normal couples do.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Fingers crossed, it'll come true one day,
0:11:42 > 0:11:45with someone who loves me and understands what it is
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I've been through, and understands me.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I'm quite complicated at times, you know?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56But another relationship in Anne's life means more to her
0:11:56 > 0:11:58than finding a partner.
0:12:00 > 0:12:05Until the age of 42, Anne lived as a man called Neville.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07She served 12 years in the Army
0:12:07 > 0:12:12before settling in West Wales with a wife and family.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17When she came out as trans, her marriage collapsed.
0:12:17 > 0:12:23She moved back to Scotland and hasn't seen her son Tyler since.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26What I want more than anything is just to hold him again.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I used to missed the...
0:12:30 > 0:12:33the hugs and cuddles we used to have on the sofa,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35you know, with his dad.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I miss them.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Miss them so much.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43But Tyler has never seen Anne as a woman.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48He has only ever known her as his dad, Neville.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50His biggest fear is...
0:12:50 > 0:12:53that, you know, I'm some sort of freak.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01If I could just sit down and speak to him and show him...
0:13:01 > 0:13:03like, me, now...
0:13:03 > 0:13:08then I can guarantee all that fear, all that...
0:13:08 > 0:13:11you know, doubt, will wash away.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18It's just getting to see him, that's the bloody problem.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Sadly, Anne's broken marriage and estrangement from her son
0:13:25 > 0:13:31is a story that is all too familiar in the trans community.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35MUSIC: Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Jenny is a 42-year-old transgender woman from Inverness.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42She's been on hormone therapy for three years
0:13:42 > 0:13:46and hopes to get her surgery sometime next year.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49A little bit nervous! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54In her former life, Jenny served in the Navy, repaired helicopters,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58worked on oil rigs and built and serviced rally cars.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I'll see you on the other side!
0:14:01 > 0:14:02# High voltage!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05# When we touch, when we kiss
0:14:05 > 0:14:07# Danger, danger!
0:14:07 > 0:14:10# High voltage!
0:14:10 > 0:14:11# When we touch... #
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Well worth a try! Was that good?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16That was absolutely amazing.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Chasing adrenaline kicks is one thing,
0:14:18 > 0:14:24but being trans, Jenny faces genuine fear and anxiety on a daily basis.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29This, as a rush, doesn't come anywhere near, you know,
0:14:29 > 0:14:33as close as the anxieties you feel when you walk out of your house
0:14:33 > 0:14:35for the first time as a trans person.
0:14:39 > 0:14:45When Jenny's marriage ended in 2009, she decided it was finally time
0:14:45 > 0:14:48to come out and start living as a woman.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51It's just one of these mad journeys you never see yourself
0:14:51 > 0:14:55actually going down, but in the end, this is who I am, you know?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57And I'm not going to change for anyone.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00I've hidden it away and put it away for other people,
0:15:00 > 0:15:04and, you know, I can't do it any more, this is me.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Get over it!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09But when her transition from masculine to feminine
0:15:09 > 0:15:13began causing her two young sons problems at school,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15she was asked to stop contacting them.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20She hasn't seen them since.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I think about them every day,
0:15:22 > 0:15:25and, you know, I'll be here when they come round and, you know,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28open arms, give them a big squish.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32I do know my boy turned round and asked my folks
0:15:32 > 0:15:35if I still had the same cheeky smile!
0:15:37 > 0:15:40That's one thing that will never go away, so...
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Yeah, and it's there in hope that they do come back.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52MUSIC: Shopping by Pet Shop Boys
0:15:56 > 0:15:58With the support of her wife and family,
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Justine continued her journey from the husband and father
0:16:02 > 0:16:06she had once been, to the wife and mother she would become.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Right, are we ready for this? You're going to have to hold that.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Be careful, because my phone's in there. Phone is life!
0:16:15 > 0:16:19And her daughter Morgan has adapted well to life with two mums.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23You liking that? Mm-hm.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Do you want to buy it for me, yeah?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Do you want to hoover the living room, too?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30I said I'd hoover the house, yeah.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Cool. It's yours, then.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36In May 2013, Justine finally underwent
0:16:36 > 0:16:39gender reassignment surgery,
0:16:39 > 0:16:43completing her physical transformation from male to female.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46It's actually better than I thought it would be. See?
0:16:46 > 0:16:50THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
0:16:50 > 0:16:54But in all honesty, see that dress you tried...tried to try on before?
0:16:54 > 0:16:55It looked much worse.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Hee-hee, had to ruin that, sorry!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Along with her two daughters, Samantha and Morgan,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Justine and Julie had a 15-year-old son called Cameron.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14In June, while Justine was recovering from her surgery,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17the couple received some terrible news.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21When we got up the stairs, we knew there was something,
0:17:21 > 0:17:24because we could hear the helicopter...
0:17:24 > 0:17:27and, um, then we heard the neighbours saying
0:17:27 > 0:17:29there had been an accident up at the castle.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36But we knew, when they said there had been an accident up there
0:17:36 > 0:17:39and the search and rescue helicopter was out,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41we just knew it was Cameron.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43And then, before anyone could get a chance to go up,
0:17:43 > 0:17:45any of the neighbours,
0:17:45 > 0:17:49the police came and said that he'd fallen.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Cameron was with his friends, visiting a nearby castle,
0:17:52 > 0:17:55when he accidentally fell from the cliffs.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58He was airlifted to hospital in Aberdeen,
0:17:58 > 0:18:02but there was nothing the medical staff could do to save him.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07As a couple, you know, everything you've been through,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10then lost my child and whatnot, and it's like, "You know what?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13"We love each other, and that's the bottom line."
0:18:13 > 0:18:16You know what, the things that are sent to tear you apart...
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Can make you stronger. ..can make you stronger.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23You know, there's plenty of people out there who need to know that,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26you know, life is worth living.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29No matter what it throws at you.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31There's always more.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38MUSIC: Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis
0:18:55 > 0:19:00Marcus is 20 years old and lives in Leuchars, near Dundee.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05He works as a chef in a local restaurant and likes to drink
0:19:05 > 0:19:07and socialise on his days off.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10I like going out, I like going gallivanting.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I'm a bit of a wild child, to be honest.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15But one major aspect of his life
0:19:15 > 0:19:18sets Marcus apart from other men his age.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22He was born in a female body and, like Tadhg, is partway
0:19:22 > 0:19:27through the process of physically changing from female to male.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I've been in this body for years.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30I know the ins and outs.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34I've got a lot of discomfort with things, but at the end of the day,
0:19:34 > 0:19:37you want to have a penis, you want to have no chest,
0:19:37 > 0:19:39you want to be a full-blown male. Deal with it.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44One month ago, Marcus began testosterone treatment to
0:19:44 > 0:19:49deepen his voice and encourage the growth of facial and body hair.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55The latest stages of transition require multiple complex procedures,
0:19:55 > 0:20:00including chest reconstruction, genital surgery and hysterectomy.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I've decided not to freeze my eggs.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Because I don't want to have to actually, like,
0:20:06 > 0:20:09combine my eggs with my partner's and have kids.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14And I explained to them that I was once a woman but now I'm a man.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16All right, what's happening? 'Hi, did you text me?'
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Yeah, I did, because I wanted to see you.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23In the meantime, Marcus is as keen as any guy his age to meet
0:20:23 > 0:20:25girls and have relationships.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30Yeah, have you got, like, an answer for if you're going to go on a date with me or not?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32But when you're trans-male,
0:20:32 > 0:20:35relations with the fairer sex can be complicated.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Meet some girls and they're, like,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"Oh, I'm lesbian but I do like you but I can't because
0:20:39 > 0:20:42"right now you're in a female body on your way to, like,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44"change and get something that I don't want."
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Then you go for someone that's straight and they're, like,
0:20:47 > 0:20:52"Oh, well, I don't really, like... see you right now as anything,
0:20:52 > 0:20:55"like, things would, like, progress right now.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57"Because you've got the wrong parts."
0:20:57 > 0:20:59You've got to take it with a pinch of salt,
0:20:59 > 0:21:01you can't get upset about it. I don't care what people think.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04I'm just myself, just a normal person.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08Having a child reveal their desire to change gender is
0:21:08 > 0:21:10a hard thing to understand.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Just one year ago, Marcus told his mum, Karen,
0:21:14 > 0:21:17that he wanted to start living as a boy.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Just texted me saying, "I'm going to be a boy, I want to be a boy."
0:21:22 > 0:21:23I'm like that... SHE SIGHS
0:21:23 > 0:21:25"Really? Right, OK, whatever."
0:21:25 > 0:21:29I suppose I thought it was a phase but...
0:21:29 > 0:21:34it's clearly not! And you just have to go with it and...
0:21:34 > 0:21:37you know, support you, I suppose, eh?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40But having a son who was previously her daughter
0:21:40 > 0:21:42took some getting used to.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Maybe it's for selfish reasons when I think,
0:21:44 > 0:21:48"Oh, yeah, I'm not going to see my daughter getting married and
0:21:48 > 0:21:52"I'm not going to, you know, see her having her first kid and,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55"you know, I'm not going to be, like, a proper granny."
0:21:55 > 0:21:56What do I do about, you know,
0:21:56 > 0:22:00all these little baby photos I've got when she's clearly a girl
0:22:00 > 0:22:04and she's so cute with her curly hair and your dimples and...
0:22:04 > 0:22:09It's like my memories of...bringing my daughter up, I suppose, and,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11yeah, it is a bit...
0:22:11 > 0:22:15it's tough, but then I think, "Well, is that me being selfish?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17"Or is that...
0:22:17 > 0:22:20"me just being a mum, or...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22"not understanding?" I don't know.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I really don't know.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28The treatments and surgeries that lie ahead for Marcus on his journey
0:22:28 > 0:22:33to change from female to male are a worrying prospect for his mum.
0:22:33 > 0:22:38It's going to be tough. Going to be very tough.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Painful.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41But...
0:22:41 > 0:22:45It's obviously what she wants to do and what she feels strongly about,
0:22:45 > 0:22:48so I just have to support and... try and be there,
0:22:48 > 0:22:50try and understand, I suppose.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54So, yeah, I do worry. Obviously, I'm a mum.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57You always worry about your...kids.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Hoping they make the right decisions!
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Cos this is quite a big...thing.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Thinking back to when I was actually pregnant with her, I did, like,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13say from the very word go, all the way up until I physically
0:23:13 > 0:23:17gave birth, and I said, "I'm having a boy, I'm having a boy,
0:23:17 > 0:23:18"I'm having a boy."
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Until...she was born.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24And it's like, "Oh, you've got a girl." And I'm like, "Ooh, really?
0:23:24 > 0:23:28"A girl?" And I remember saying, "Can you just double-check that?"
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Because I was pretty sure I was going to have a boy, cos I wanted...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34being a bit selfish, I wanted a mummy's boy, you know?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35That wouldn't have happened.
0:23:35 > 0:23:42And then I got a little girl but then obviously I'm...having a boy now.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45So, yeah... So you're giving birth all over again.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47No, I wouldn't go through that again.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I think it's going to be weird, the day, though, that I actually wake up with a willy.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Of course it's going to be weird.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Probably going to swing it about. You're not.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58It'll be too bloody short to swing about!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Right, we're 328.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Right, this way.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Not the... THEY LAUGH
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Bee is a 20-year-old make-up artist from Alloa.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Her boyfriend Joe is 23 and works as an IT technician
0:24:32 > 0:24:34for a local business.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Here we are. Look...
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Oh... Check it, yo.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42They've been a couple for almost a year and live together in
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Bee's parents' house.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46This is lovely. This is well nice.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50But what's unique about their relationship is that Bee is
0:24:50 > 0:24:54a transgender woman and Joe is a straight guy.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55What's in here?
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Oh, my God, do they think we've got babies or something? No, that's if we argue.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Even though they were good friends first, taking the leap into
0:25:03 > 0:25:07a full-blown romantic relationship was a big decision.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Especially for Joe.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14I was actually so attracted to you that I couldn't even fathom it myself.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I tried to... tried to brush it away, I guess,
0:25:16 > 0:25:20because I didn't expect anything to ever happen between us cos...
0:25:20 > 0:25:25at the beginning, Bee, I sort of struggled with the idea of...trans,
0:25:25 > 0:25:26cos I didn't understand it.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I sort of didn't care, but...
0:25:29 > 0:25:32I don't think you knew that much about it. I felt like...
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I cared more because of other people and what they would say.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37You think it's different because everyone else thinks it's
0:25:37 > 0:25:41something special, it's a novelty, or some folk don't agree with it.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I felt like that's why I struggled with it more, because if that stigma...
0:25:44 > 0:25:48maybe not stigma, whatever the word, if that wasn't there,
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I'd have gone out with Bee in a heartbeat.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55At the age of just 14, Bee began living as a girl.
0:25:55 > 0:26:01At 17, she began hormone therapy, but suffered severe mood swings
0:26:01 > 0:26:04and depression as a side effect of the treatment.
0:26:04 > 0:26:09All she just kept saying was, "I want to die, I want to die."
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Just kept on telling mysel' that I just didn't want to be here.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I just wanted to get it over and done wi'.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Fortunately for Bee, she had supportive parents who helped her
0:26:20 > 0:26:23through those difficult early years.
0:26:23 > 0:26:28Most of the people I work with know that Bee is transgender and
0:26:28 > 0:26:30know that I'm proud of her.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34And there's times when you think, "Right," you know,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36but to be honest, proud of her.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37She's doing really well.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42And now, with Joe's help, she's adjusted to life on hormones
0:26:42 > 0:26:47and is persevering with her transition from male to female.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51There's a few things I'm no' happy with but there's no things that I cannae get sorted.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Or I cannae...
0:26:54 > 0:26:56deal wi'.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Like, obviously...the things that I hate, they're obviously hidden.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03And I don't really talk to anyone about my insecurities because
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I feel, like, once you start doing that, everybody starts to notice.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Like, I have really bad anxiety, like, really bad anxiety,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11and then...then what can I do?
0:27:11 > 0:27:14He's always there to help me. He's the best.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16And I deffo would not be here...
0:27:16 > 0:27:20definitely would not be here if it wasnae for Joe.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23There's been many situations where he's helped me...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26through many things.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Aye, he's a wee gem.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Er, how's it going? I'd just like to order some room service, please.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36'You know that I'm straight. And you know I...'
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Like, I'm not a homophobe,
0:27:38 > 0:27:42but equally I prefer not to kiss another man or...
0:27:42 > 0:27:46be right up in my face, you know. No, I get you.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48So if I had any doubts or anything,
0:27:48 > 0:27:51this would never be happening in the first place. OK.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54That's what makes it so special and so...
0:27:57 > 0:27:58..honest.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Why don't you carry it like this? Cos that looks fucking awful.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11That looks normal.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14There's adjustments to be made for anyone embarking on their
0:28:14 > 0:28:16first serious relationship.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20But Joe has also had to adapt to the negative effects of Bee's
0:28:20 > 0:28:22lifelong hormone treatment.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Right, come on, press the button!
0:28:25 > 0:28:29'What's the word for dealing with something really well?'
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Do you think you deal with it really well?
0:28:31 > 0:28:35I think I do, cos I've come to figure out when your moods are going
0:28:35 > 0:28:39to change, what's going to happen, when you need to take your hormones.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41I'm the one who gets up to do it. When to get me chocolate.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45When to get you chocolate. Oh, my God, if...
0:28:45 > 0:28:49If we don't give you chocolate, that's the worst thing.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52There's us one day, walking a dog.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Or a cat.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Or a mouse.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00I just love Bee so much, and I don't even think about her being trans.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03I just... I love being around her.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06It's got another door. THEY LAUGH
0:29:06 > 0:29:08'You see other people talking about marriage and the future
0:29:08 > 0:29:13'and you're like, "Oh, God, look at them, they're not going to last long." But that's what's different.'
0:29:13 > 0:29:16I'm not worried about you talking about marriage,
0:29:16 > 0:29:18I'm not worried about us talking about the future.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22It's something I can't wait for, just to have a life like that.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39At some point in time, everyone's going to be comfortable with
0:29:39 > 0:29:40whatever choice they want to make.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43And we won't be in this stupid day and age where you have to
0:29:43 > 0:29:45worry about what folks think.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47If you love someone, you love someone -
0:29:47 > 0:29:50it doesn't really matter, like, what anyone else says.
0:29:52 > 0:29:57Being transgender takes courage and determination, and is extremely
0:29:57 > 0:30:02difficult without the support of an understanding partner or family.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04There is medical help available
0:30:04 > 0:30:08but very little on offer when it comes to support.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11For trans-men like Tadhg, it's no different.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16There isn't help out there and there wasn't help out there for me.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19And I was...
0:30:19 > 0:30:21on my own...
0:30:21 > 0:30:28in a very, very low place, and I knew that I got through it
0:30:28 > 0:30:32because I had the reserves, you know?
0:30:32 > 0:30:35And I thought about anybody else that was going through that,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38"Oh, my God, no wonder the suicide rate is high."
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Because I know the struggles that I went through.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Tadhg established a transgender support group,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48now the largest of its kind in Scotland.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53He also helps people on a personal level wherever he can.
0:30:53 > 0:30:54How you doing? Good.
0:30:54 > 0:30:59Today he is visiting Marcus to discuss his testosterone treatment
0:30:59 > 0:31:02and the delays in his upcoming surgeries.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04I got told before I'd started it
0:31:04 > 0:31:07that I'd be getting a lot more, you know, active,
0:31:07 > 0:31:10a lot more energetic, but all I've wanted to do is sleep.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14You're still technically in a loading phase and it takes a while
0:31:14 > 0:31:17to get to that level where you know that you're functioning right.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20I guess they were just kind of reviewing things
0:31:20 > 0:31:22and trying to push for my top surgery.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25Funding pack didn't help with that kind of crap,
0:31:25 > 0:31:27because I'm getting stressed.
0:31:27 > 0:31:32Marcus is waiting to be recommended for a mastectomy,
0:31:32 > 0:31:35otherwise known as top surgery.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39But in the meantime, to give his body a more masculine profile,
0:31:39 > 0:31:42he has to wear a special vest known as a binder.
0:31:42 > 0:31:46So this is my Underworks tri-top binder.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49It's basically just to, you know, hide your chest.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52It's not sexy, it's not flattering, it's...
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Does the job, I suppose.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56I'll take it off the second I'm going to bed.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58And as soon as I get up in the morning, showered and that,
0:31:58 > 0:32:00it'll just go straight back on.
0:32:00 > 0:32:04Even when I'm getting ready for bed at night and I'll just put
0:32:04 > 0:32:07a hoodie on, it's clearly obvious that I have a chest.
0:32:07 > 0:32:12If I was wider and I had more of a gut, I think I could pass for,
0:32:12 > 0:32:14like, for moobs.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17Or mits, man tits, I like to call them.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Marcus now has a girlfriend.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22They've been together for four months,
0:32:22 > 0:32:26and although she accepts him as he is now, Marcus still feels
0:32:26 > 0:32:30frustrated with the female body he was born with.
0:32:30 > 0:32:34When I do go to get down to the business and get intimate
0:32:34 > 0:32:36with my girlfriend, you kind of...
0:32:36 > 0:32:40You know what you need to do and you know how you need to act,
0:32:40 > 0:32:45but once you're in that situation where it's so intense that you...
0:32:45 > 0:32:49There's, like, a switch in your brain just clicks and it stops
0:32:49 > 0:32:52and you just have to take a step back and you're like,
0:32:52 > 0:32:55"I can't do this, because... the parts aren't there."
0:32:55 > 0:32:57You want to be able to, you know,
0:32:57 > 0:33:00just whip your kegs off and go for it but you can't.
0:33:00 > 0:33:05I haven't let somebody touch me, in my life, intimately.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08And it's a massive wall.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11And I would love to someday not have that.
0:33:13 > 0:33:17As a trans-woman, Jenny volunteers in a similar way and
0:33:17 > 0:33:22has adopted the role of a transgender Good Samaritan.
0:33:22 > 0:33:26Despite her own problems, she travels the country supporting
0:33:26 > 0:33:31confused, depressed and desperate people, wherever they need her help.
0:33:39 > 0:33:44Today she's come to Aberdeen to see Ash, a young transgender woman
0:33:44 > 0:33:50who lives alone and has been finding trans life especially hard.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54Hey, how's it going? All good, all good. Good to see you.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56You surviving? Uh-huh. That's good.
0:33:56 > 0:34:00To the people Jenny helps in the trans community,
0:34:00 > 0:34:02she's known as Mama Jen.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04So I met Mama Jen four years ago.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08She's been one of my biggest supporters since then.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12Just every time I've needed help or I've been low or...
0:34:12 > 0:34:17she's come up to Aberdeen, she's taken me to appointments,
0:34:17 > 0:34:21helping me out with everything, er, my mental health.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23If there's somebody else there,
0:34:23 > 0:34:26you can go to places together and you don't feel so afraid or,
0:34:26 > 0:34:29you know, just the abuse you can get sometimes.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32But at least as a couple you can laugh it off together.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36I just do it cos it's probably in my nature, so...
0:34:36 > 0:34:37You know, that's what I do.
0:34:37 > 0:34:42We'll get there. I don't know where we're going but we'll get there. Eventually!
0:34:48 > 0:34:51Without the support of others,
0:34:51 > 0:34:55the feeling of isolation and depression can be overwhelming.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59Suicide rates in the trans community are staggering.
0:34:59 > 0:35:04A recent survey found that 48% of trans people under 26 said
0:35:04 > 0:35:06they had attempted suicide.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11In her voluntary care and support role,
0:35:11 > 0:35:14Jenny has literally saved people's lives.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17One person I phoned an ambulance for four times on different
0:35:17 > 0:35:20occasions, you know, and seeing somebody lying at the top of
0:35:20 > 0:35:24the stairs completely out of it, and walking into somebody's room,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27you know, after hearing somebody collapsed on the floor and
0:35:27 > 0:35:30finding pills and wrappers all over the floor,
0:35:30 > 0:35:31it's quite gruesome sometimes.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35Whether you get a thank-you or not, it doesn't matter, you know.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38To see somebody out and enjoying themselves with their group
0:35:38 > 0:35:41of friends or whatever after it all, it's priceless.
0:35:41 > 0:35:42Absolutely priceless.
0:35:42 > 0:35:47In the absence of adequate support, Jenny, Tadhg and many like them
0:35:47 > 0:35:52have created an unofficial care network within the trans community.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57Jenny forms strong bonds with those she helps.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01But it's no substitute for close family contact and the pain
0:36:01 > 0:36:04of not seeing her own children.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09I was told they were getting hurt at school because of me.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12And...I couldn't dispute that.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15So I've stayed back.
0:36:15 > 0:36:20And it's been probably the hardest thing I've ever done.
0:36:20 > 0:36:25Just to not see my own kids, because I'm different.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28But I put out a wish on Facebook
0:36:28 > 0:36:33that one day they'd get back in touch,
0:36:33 > 0:36:38and my oldest son did, about four hours after I wrote the post.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41It was his 13th birthday.
0:36:41 > 0:36:42And...
0:36:42 > 0:36:45I've been told I'm not allowed to send him cards,
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I'm not allowed to send him presents or anything.
0:36:47 > 0:36:53And there's nothing in the world more difficult actually, yeah.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55But...
0:36:55 > 0:36:58he got in touch, and...
0:36:58 > 0:37:01Just the years are so different.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04He's got a voice, he's got...
0:37:04 > 0:37:08He's an adult, you know, he's so grown-up.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12And I've missed, every day,
0:37:12 > 0:37:14not seeing those boys.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23But I love my boys, I will always love my boys,
0:37:23 > 0:37:27and I just hope one day that they'll come and see us.
0:37:37 > 0:37:42In Perth, Anne has decided to throw caution to the wind and
0:37:42 > 0:37:46travel down to Wales in the hope that she can see her son Tyler
0:37:46 > 0:37:49and begin to rebuild their relationship.
0:37:49 > 0:37:53They've been estranged for five years
0:37:53 > 0:37:56and Tyler has never met her as a woman.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00Coming out was especially tough for Anne.
0:38:00 > 0:38:05She experienced alienation and intimidation.
0:38:05 > 0:38:09I had a knock at the door and there was two blokes stood there.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Pretty big blokes.
0:38:13 > 0:38:19And they basically warned me if I didn't leave the village within 48 hours...
0:38:19 > 0:38:22I wouldn't see daylight ever again.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26They were not happy that a transsexual was living in their village.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30And that scared the crap out of me.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35I could just see the hate in their eyes.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Pure hatred.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50If it weren't for my son, I wouldn't be going back down.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Simple as that. I'm doing this for my son.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56I need to see him.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59More than anything.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02Cos I miss him.
0:39:17 > 0:39:22Repairing the relationship with her son is an essential part of
0:39:22 > 0:39:25Anne's transition from male to female.
0:39:25 > 0:39:29She is determined to try and see him, despite the risk.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46This is the first time Anne has returned to Wales
0:39:46 > 0:39:48since her life was threatened.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52The good friends she had were left confused and anxious about
0:39:52 > 0:39:57what had happened to her, so she's come to visit her old pal Nobby
0:39:57 > 0:40:00to introduce him to the woman she has become.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04We did, yeah. It was just that thing going.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07It was just... It was just a good rapport. Good friends. Yeah.
0:40:07 > 0:40:08A very, very good friend.
0:40:10 > 0:40:15And now...my good friend's come back, but now she's Anne. Yeah.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20Doesn't make any difference. No. You're still my friend. Thank you.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23When I first moved to Wales, I had no friends or anything.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28My first day at work, he introduced himself straightaway.
0:40:28 > 0:40:29"Hi, my name's Nobby," and, you know,
0:40:29 > 0:40:32"What's a Jock like you doing in a place like this?"!
0:40:32 > 0:40:36I think it was "ugly Jock"(!) Aye, ugly Jock, like, aye.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39And that just completely broke the ice straightaway and, from then on,
0:40:39 > 0:40:43we have just been firm friends. And to hear him say that is,
0:40:43 > 0:40:45you know...very humbling.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49I feel the only person I have let down, at the moment, is my son.
0:40:49 > 0:40:50Give him a chance.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54Let him make his own mind up.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58It's all you can do. Yeah, I know. It's all you can do.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01He's not a baby any more. He's a man now. Talk to him.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Talk to him sensibly. Listen to him. More importantly, maybe,
0:41:04 > 0:41:07listen to him. Mm. Yeah. Find out what his fears are,
0:41:07 > 0:41:10because until you know what is in his head,
0:41:10 > 0:41:11you can't put the truth there.
0:41:16 > 0:41:20Justine and Julie's marriage may have survived, but they still have
0:41:20 > 0:41:24a way to go before they can feel truly settled as wife and wife.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31The couple have been together since they were teenagers.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35They met in 1991 and were married in 1997.
0:41:39 > 0:41:42Now, that Justine has officially changed her name and gender,
0:41:42 > 0:41:47they want a new marriage certificate and, some time next year,
0:41:47 > 0:41:48plan to renew their vows...
0:41:48 > 0:41:52That's my dress, if I can get it out. It weighs a ton.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54..this time, as two women.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Which I can't wait to be wearing on the day.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06That's... I mean, when I tried this on,
0:42:06 > 0:42:07I just about cried.
0:42:09 > 0:42:13The renewal ceremony will have special significance for Justine,
0:42:13 > 0:42:16because this time, she will be a bride, rather than a groom.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Although I wanted to be there and I wanted to marry Julie,
0:42:20 > 0:42:23I wouldn't change that, I wouldn't change anything that's happened,
0:42:23 > 0:42:29I really wanted that to be me. To me, it's like completing everything.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32I can't wait. I will just feel like a princess for a day.
0:42:32 > 0:42:37Unfortunately, a loophole in Scottish law means that they can't
0:42:37 > 0:42:40get a marriage certificate in Justine's new name,
0:42:40 > 0:42:44because Julie is still officially married to Justin -
0:42:44 > 0:42:46someone who no longer exists.
0:42:48 > 0:42:52It is a minor loophole... Mm. ..but until they close it,
0:42:52 > 0:42:55we can't stick that E... No. ..on the certificate.
0:42:55 > 0:42:59That is all it is. One tiny little E... Mm-hm.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01..to change everything.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05My thoughts were, are the beginning, when I told Julie that I wouldn't
0:43:05 > 0:43:08have a home or I wouldn't have a job, no family.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11I would be on my own, really, and I don't think I would have
0:43:11 > 0:43:15been able to transition on my own. I don't think I'd have made it,
0:43:15 > 0:43:17at all. I don't know what would have happened,
0:43:17 > 0:43:19if I'd have still been here. I don't know.
0:43:21 > 0:43:22So...
0:43:30 > 0:43:32JULIE WHISPERS
0:43:32 > 0:43:33Mm-hm. I know.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45In Wales, it is approaching time for Anne to finally meet her son Tyler,
0:43:45 > 0:43:47for the first time as a woman.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52He has agreed to see her, but has insisted that she come alone
0:43:52 > 0:43:53and after dark.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59HE SIGHS
0:43:59 > 0:44:02What is going through your head right now, Anne?
0:44:11 > 0:44:12Scared, in case he...
0:44:16 > 0:44:19..just turns round and tells me to leave, when he sees me.
0:44:27 > 0:44:29I mean, I have tried to...
0:44:30 > 0:44:31..dress down as much as I can.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Not much else I can do now.
0:44:40 > 0:44:41Just hope that...
0:44:51 > 0:44:52..hope he accepts us.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Are you feeling as nervous as he is?
0:44:58 > 0:44:59I am shitting myself.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03I am absolutely cacking my pants right now.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15We are on our way to see my son.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19The first time in five years.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26It's nearly killed me twice, this journey.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31It has separated me from my son for five years.
0:45:39 > 0:45:43I am not a religious person, but I am praying to God right now
0:45:43 > 0:45:44that it all goes fuckin' well.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49What would be the best outcome?
0:45:51 > 0:45:52For him just to hug me.
0:45:56 > 0:45:57For just him to...
0:45:59 > 0:46:00..accept...
0:46:02 > 0:46:05..that this is who I am and...
0:46:07 > 0:46:08..nothing is going to change that.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13If he doesn't, then I am just going to have to walk away
0:46:13 > 0:46:20and it's something I'm just going to have live with the rest of my life.
0:46:20 > 0:46:21I don't know how...
0:46:23 > 0:46:25..but I will figure it out.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12Oh, my God.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15From that little 12-year-old boy that I left,
0:47:15 > 0:47:17to see him... Oh, my God. It was just fantastic.
0:47:19 > 0:47:20And he wasn't...
0:47:21 > 0:47:23The minute he saw me, he...
0:47:26 > 0:47:28He was like that, he was completely relaxed about it.
0:47:30 > 0:47:31I'm so happy.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34I'm so happy right now - it's unbelievable!
0:47:39 > 0:47:40Oh, my God!
0:47:43 > 0:47:44I've got my boy back.
0:47:46 > 0:47:50'Since my surgery last year, it's been nothing but ups and downs.
0:47:50 > 0:47:51'And more downs than ups.'
0:47:51 > 0:47:52But this is just...
0:47:56 > 0:47:58It has just made my day.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Absolutely made my fucking day.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03Sorry for the language, but I am...
0:48:06 > 0:48:08I'm so happy! You can tell!
0:48:11 > 0:48:13Oh, my God!
0:48:13 > 0:48:14I am SO happy.
0:48:18 > 0:48:19I've got my boy back.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23HE EXHALES DEEPLY
0:48:27 > 0:48:30MUSIC: We Are Family by Sister Sledge
0:48:35 > 0:48:38This weekend is Pride Edinburgh -
0:48:38 > 0:48:42a celebration of diversity and personal identity
0:48:42 > 0:48:43for the lesbian, gay,
0:48:43 > 0:48:46bisexual, transgender
0:48:46 > 0:48:48and inter-sex communities of Scotland.
0:48:49 > 0:48:53There is still so much more to do.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Every day, there are young people who don't want to go to school
0:48:56 > 0:49:00because they are being bullied. Every day, there are young people
0:49:00 > 0:49:03who don't want to go to work because they are being bullied.
0:49:03 > 0:49:07Now, the Scottish Parliament is one of the most modern, liberal
0:49:07 > 0:49:11and free parliaments in the world, but we should use that opportunity
0:49:11 > 0:49:16to reach out to the wider community and say, "We need your help, too."
0:49:16 > 0:49:17CHEERING
0:49:17 > 0:49:18Have a great day!
0:49:20 > 0:49:23# I got all my sisters and me
0:49:25 > 0:49:26# We are family... #
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Marcus and Tadhg are here to increase visibility
0:49:29 > 0:49:32and raise awareness of ongoing trans-male issues.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35CHEERING
0:49:36 > 0:49:40'It's about appreciating yourself. You've got to be who you are.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42'Don't give a fuck about what anyone else says.'
0:49:42 > 0:49:46I locked myself in the cupboard away for, like, ten years
0:49:46 > 0:49:48and it made me miserable.
0:49:50 > 0:49:51It's about having fun.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54It's about getting to know new people, having a bit of banter,
0:49:54 > 0:49:55causing a riot.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59So...you've just got to be yourself.
0:50:01 > 0:50:04How far on are you? Four months. Four and a bit months on T.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08Right. On what? Testosterone. Oh, right, right. To... Aye.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11Oh, sound. How are you getting on with it? Good.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14It's, "Lock up your daughters," you know! What... Ohh!
0:50:14 > 0:50:16So, what age are you?
0:50:16 > 0:50:20Marcus has been on testosterone for four months and is finally
0:50:20 > 0:50:23starting to see signs that the treatment is working.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27'Got my first injection of libido on Monday.'
0:50:27 > 0:50:31Getting a bit of facial hair. Extra body hair, on my legs.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34It's mental. I'm like a gorilla. It's a bit wild.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37It's weird waking up with tits and a hairy chest,
0:50:37 > 0:50:41'but you get used to it. It's just getting where I want to be.'
0:50:44 > 0:50:47The testosterone may be working, but Marcus still has up to five
0:50:47 > 0:50:50major surgeries ahead of him, before he completes his
0:50:50 > 0:50:53physical transformation from female to male.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59For now, he must be patient and look forward to the day
0:50:59 > 0:51:02he can finally feel comfortable in his own body.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09When the time comes, it will be worth the wait.
0:51:09 > 0:51:11But at the same time, it will be a bit stressful,
0:51:11 > 0:51:15because I could have done it sooner. As soon as the whole lot is done,
0:51:15 > 0:51:19I am just going to go and start a new life.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22Go somewhere. Somewhere else where no-one knows me,
0:51:22 > 0:51:23no-one knows my past.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25I will be absolutely normal.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28I'm not saying I'm not normal now, but I will finally be myself.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31I will finally be able to do what I want. I'll be happy,
0:51:31 > 0:51:33I'll be confident. I'll just be me.
0:51:38 > 0:51:39Paw.
0:51:39 > 0:51:44FORMULA ONE TV THEME PLAYS
0:51:46 > 0:51:50Before she came out as trans, Jenny built rally cars
0:51:50 > 0:51:53and took part as a navigator, with the aim of, one day,
0:51:53 > 0:51:54competing herself.
0:51:56 > 0:51:57ENGINE REVS
0:51:57 > 0:52:01After her surgery, Jenny hopes to return to the rallying circuit -
0:52:01 > 0:52:04this time, as a woman.
0:52:27 > 0:52:28Dirt.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Right, that was a pretty good session.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37I think you did very well. You have a very strong natural instinct
0:52:37 > 0:52:41for driving. Thanks very much. You have got, er, very good awareness
0:52:41 > 0:52:44of car dynamics. And not everybody has that.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Overall, I would... I have got pretty high hopes for you.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49You are very, very welcome to the rallying community...
0:52:49 > 0:52:51Thank you very much. ..and I wish you all the best with that.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56ENGINE ROARS
0:52:57 > 0:52:58What a sound!
0:52:59 > 0:53:04Despite being apart from her children, Jenny keeps herself busy
0:53:04 > 0:53:06and her positivity sees her through.
0:53:06 > 0:53:10I hope, by May next year, to have my final surgeries, you know,
0:53:10 > 0:53:13and have the surgeries out the way, so I can just...
0:53:13 > 0:53:16build myself back up, get myself fit again and then carry on
0:53:16 > 0:53:19and do stuff, you know? And get out there and play
0:53:19 > 0:53:20with things like that, so...
0:53:20 > 0:53:22ENGINE ROAR RECEDES
0:53:22 > 0:53:23# La! #
0:53:23 > 0:53:25METALLIC GRINDING
0:53:25 > 0:53:28Ooh! If you can't find it, grind it!
0:53:29 > 0:53:32'I don't get to see my kids, so I adopt everyone else'
0:53:32 > 0:53:35into my life. If I can help others, it helps me, too.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37It takes my mind off my own sort of worries and stuff sometimes.
0:53:37 > 0:53:41So, cover all angles and help people out, if I can,
0:53:41 > 0:53:43and that's it, so...
0:53:43 > 0:53:44I can only be me -
0:53:44 > 0:53:46and this is me.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53Anne has finally got her son back in her life.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55He has come to visit her in Perth,
0:53:55 > 0:53:59so they can start to rebuild the strong bond they once had.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03That might be in... I wonder if it's '90.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05No, it cannae be. No, I'm too young.
0:54:05 > 0:54:09Re-establishing a relationship with her family
0:54:09 > 0:54:16was an essential part of Anne's transition from male to female.
0:54:16 > 0:54:18'It feels fantastic. I'm over the moon.'
0:54:20 > 0:54:24There was a time that I thought we would not get the relationship back
0:54:24 > 0:54:27that we ever did have, but I feel we have gotten
0:54:27 > 0:54:28a lot stronger, actually.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32I feel that, too... Yeah. ..if I'm honest.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35Yeah, I am very happy with the way it has turned out.
0:54:35 > 0:54:36We have bonded a lot closer.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41Check me out, with the beard.
0:54:41 > 0:54:42TYLER LAUGHS
0:54:42 > 0:54:43Oh, my God.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45'I thought I would never fully understand it
0:54:45 > 0:54:48'until I saw him in person and there are parts of me'
0:54:48 > 0:54:50that, you know, did not think I could go through with it. Mm.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54But I went through with it and, as soon as she came through the door,
0:54:54 > 0:54:57we just went back to normal, really. I felt very comfortable.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59I remember one of the things he asked me was,
0:54:59 > 0:55:03"What do I call you now? Do I call you Dad or do I call you Mum?"
0:55:03 > 0:55:06I goes just, "Call me Dad, Tyler, cos I am still your dad."
0:55:06 > 0:55:10That's no' going to change. He can call me whatever he wants.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12He can call me all the sods under the sun, if he wants,
0:55:12 > 0:55:14you know what I mean?
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I'm just happy he's back in my life and...
0:55:18 > 0:55:20..words can't describe it. They really can't.
0:55:33 > 0:55:36The loophole in the law has finally been amended
0:55:36 > 0:55:40and Justine and Julie have come to the registry office in Peterhead,
0:55:40 > 0:55:42to collect their new marriage certificate.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46So, I have got your certificate here.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49So, I will let you have a wee...
0:55:49 > 0:55:50It's perfect. Thank you.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53It must be exciting for you to finally get it?
0:55:53 > 0:55:57At last. Yeah. It's been a long, hard slog to get here,
0:55:57 > 0:55:59to see this one piece of paper.
0:56:01 > 0:56:08Justine and Julie finally have an accurate marriage certificate.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11After a long wait, they are, officially and legally,
0:56:11 > 0:56:12wife and wife.
0:56:12 > 0:56:14Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Thank you. Take care. Thank you.
0:56:25 > 0:56:26Sorted.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30At the top, it has changed. It now says Bride and Bride,
0:56:30 > 0:56:31rather than Bride and Bridegroom.
0:56:31 > 0:56:35Er, my name, obviously, Justine Melanie.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39And I think... That's it. Is that it?
0:56:39 > 0:56:40Now, we just need to...
0:56:42 > 0:56:44..put on our dancing shoes
0:56:44 > 0:56:47and actually get round to reorganising... Yep.
0:56:47 > 0:56:48..our renewal. Mm-hm.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Fix a date.
0:56:50 > 0:56:51Rob a bank.
0:56:53 > 0:56:54Yeah! And then, it's all done!
0:57:00 > 0:57:02'We can go back to being wives.'
0:57:03 > 0:57:06No legal "Hm, what are we?" Yeah.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08We are legally wives.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10We can just be normal-ish.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13Yeah. Erm, speak for yourself(!)
0:57:18 > 0:57:22Justine, Julie and their family have come a long way together.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27It has been a difficult journey for all of them,
0:57:27 > 0:57:30but they have stuck together and proved that a relationship
0:57:30 > 0:57:35and a family can survive a wife or a husband changing their gender.
0:57:45 > 0:57:47'I can understand why wives walk away,
0:57:47 > 0:57:51'because it isn't easy and it is a lot to get your head round.
0:57:51 > 0:57:53'It is a lot to take your family through.'
0:57:53 > 0:57:58There is a lot of stigma still attached to it.
0:57:58 > 0:58:03'But for me, I did not fall in love with Just the man'
0:58:03 > 0:58:07'and Just is still the same person, irrespective of gender.'
0:58:09 > 0:58:10Just is Just.
0:58:10 > 0:58:14Rather than reject her, Julie has supported Justine
0:58:14 > 0:58:16through her transition.
0:58:17 > 0:58:21And they have a stronger, happier relationship, as a result.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23'No, I don't miss the old Just.'
0:58:26 > 0:58:27Nor me. Nah.
0:58:29 > 0:58:31You're a better Just now.
0:58:31 > 0:58:33MUSIC: Do You Realise? by The Flaming Lips
0:58:33 > 0:58:38# Do you realise
0:58:41 > 0:58:44# That you have
0:58:44 > 0:58:50# The most beautiful face?
0:58:50 > 0:58:54# Do you realise... #