0:00:02 > 0:00:05For my generation, dating is all digital,
0:00:05 > 0:00:09but not everyone wants to swipe right and date strangers.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13In my culture, many prefer to find their partner offline,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15and in the family...
0:00:15 > 0:00:17with their cousins.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20What should I do?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Cousin marriage divides a nation, and my family.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25My uncle is in favour.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28You would have a better chance with the cousin marriage
0:00:28 > 0:00:30than marrying outside.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Dad is on the fence.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34In principle, I'm not against cousin marriages.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37I'm not pro, but I'm not against.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39And Mum is dead opposed.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42I was married to my first cousin.
0:00:42 > 0:00:48It broke down, and I was able to get out of quite a nasty situation.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50In Pakistan, I'll meet my cousins.
0:00:50 > 0:00:55I'm not sure whether something like that could even work for me, maybe.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57But here, loads say, "No way."
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- It's just wrong.- Yeah, it's wrong.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Possible incest, I don't know.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03I thought it was illegal in England.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05You are going to be, technically, inbred.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08As I look at my options,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12the risk of this Pakistani tradition starts to really scare me.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24VOICEOVER: My name is Hiba, I'm 18, and I'm from Bradford.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29As a young British Pakistani, I've started to think about marriage.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32I don't think I have a type, really.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37I'm looking for a guy who's trustworthy, open-minded,
0:01:37 > 0:01:38those kind of things.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40As well as obviously being good-looking,
0:01:40 > 0:01:43and tall and dark and whatever, but I wouldn't mind if he's not,
0:01:43 > 0:01:48like, America's Next Top Model, or anything.
0:01:48 > 0:01:53I'd always want Hiba to marry somebody who has a deep
0:01:53 > 0:01:57respect for his religion, knowledge, who has deep respect for her.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I think somebody like me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:04But at the end of the day, it's going to be my daughter's choice.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Around me, up to 70% of all British Pakistanis marry their cousins...
0:02:11 > 0:02:13..including my own grandparents.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18My mummy and his mummy is sisters.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20They're like each other.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23They've been married for 54 years.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Would I be crazy not to follow them,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30or should I turn my back on tradition?
0:02:32 > 0:02:36First up, I really need to chat to some young, loved-up cousins.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Hello, is this Sonia?
0:02:37 > 0:02:41I just wanted to speak to you about possibly coming on a
0:02:41 > 0:02:45documentary that I'm doing about cousin marriages for BBC Three.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I just wanted to ask if you'd be willing to participate.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Could you possibly tell me why you don't want to?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Why? What's the fallout?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59They straight up said no.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Do you know anybody else who might want to take part?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Cos we're struggling to find people.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09You'll just have to keep trying.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's really frustrating that no-one will come on camera
0:03:12 > 0:03:16and talk to me about the issue...
0:03:16 > 0:03:19but I'm guessing they kind of feel like they might...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22..feel a bit attacked.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Cos most of us are Muslim,
0:03:23 > 0:03:28so we always see a lot on the media that's really negative about us,
0:03:28 > 0:03:29so I feel like...
0:03:31 > 0:03:34..anyone brown is just scared of a camera now,
0:03:34 > 0:03:38because you just think that your words are going to be twisted.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45No-one my age will talk to me, but luckily
0:03:45 > 0:03:47my dad's brother in Newcastle will.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- As-Salaam-Alaikum.- As-Salaam-Alaikum How are you? I'm OK.- All right.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- How are you?- All right, thank you.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Uncle Younis is married to his cousin,
0:03:55 > 0:03:59and four out of five of his children married their cousins too.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02In Asian marriages, you're not marrying a person,
0:04:02 > 0:04:03you're marrying a family as well.
0:04:03 > 0:04:08And I think it's easier when they come from the same core values.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13So, say I had the choice between a cousin or someone I had met at, say,
0:04:13 > 0:04:14- uni, or something...- Yeah.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Which one do you think would be better for me?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I would go for the family one.
0:04:19 > 0:04:25I mean, I've been married 44 years, coming up to 45,
0:04:25 > 0:04:29and I can hand on heart say it's been a beautiful journey.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39My uncle makes it sound so good.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42I'm beginning to see how cousin marriages might work.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49It's quite nice to just see that he's, kind of,
0:04:49 > 0:04:51unapologetically for cousin marriages,
0:04:51 > 0:04:55and he doesn't really care that it's something that might be looked down
0:04:55 > 0:04:58upon, or something that might be seen negatively.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02And if the stats are anything to go by
0:05:02 > 0:05:06cousin marriage seems a pretty good option.
0:05:06 > 0:05:0942% of all marriages end in divorce,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11but amongst first cousins,
0:05:11 > 0:05:13it's just 20%.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16That's really encouraging,
0:05:16 > 0:05:20but just how successful have cousin marriages been in my own family?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Dad's always been desperate for me to learn more about my heritage.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Today is his lucky day.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Right, Hiba, this is your family tree.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35We start off with an ancestor,
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Chanda.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42So, if we highlight...
0:05:42 > 0:05:44That's a cousin marriage.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46That's a cousin marriage.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50This was a cousin marriage.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57By the time we get to Mum's family, it gets even more complicated.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00All three of them were married to first cousins.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05All of these guys were married to first cousins.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Why don't we just scribble the whole board red?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11This is the young people in your generation,
0:06:11 > 0:06:14and these would be the...
0:06:14 > 0:06:17single guys in your age bracket.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22They're the only eligible kind of people in our entire family.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28The only cousins my age live in Pakistan,
0:06:28 > 0:06:30so to find out how I really feel
0:06:30 > 0:06:34about all this, I've got to meet them.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38I don't really know what to expect, cos I've never met
0:06:38 > 0:06:40my cousins from Pakistan before.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44I feel like there might be a thing of we won't have anything to talk
0:06:44 > 0:06:46about, because, I don't know,
0:06:46 > 0:06:50I'm guessing we have quite different lifestyles,
0:06:50 > 0:06:53or maybe I'm just assuming that, but I'm not sure.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57I think it'll be interesting to see whether...
0:06:58 > 0:07:01..or even if, something like that could even work for me, maybe.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08VOICEOVER: It's going to be nerve-racking.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Do you recognise any of it?- No. - Of course you don't, no.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15This is only my second visit to Pakistan.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Last time I was here, I was just four years old.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- I swear they have that shop in Bradford.- Have they?
0:07:24 > 0:07:28We're in Mirpur, the north-east corner of Pakistan,
0:07:28 > 0:07:33where 70% of all Pakistani people in Britain come from -
0:07:33 > 0:07:35including both sides of my family.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41That's our land over there.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46This is my uncle's house.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52This is where your grandfather was born, your Uncle Younis was born,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54and Uncle Mahmood was born.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56VOICEOVER: I've mostly been thinking about love,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00but I'm starting to see some other bonuses to cousin marriage -
0:08:00 > 0:08:01like money.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03The inheritance stays in the family.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10My dad's cousin Rafiq still lives here in the family village.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15At last, cousins my age.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Saba, who's divorced, is 21.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Eiman, 18.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Safra is 12.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25My chance to see what's in it for the girls.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27If you were to consider getting married soon,
0:08:27 > 0:08:31cos you guys are of that age where you start thinking about it,
0:08:31 > 0:08:33would you prefer marrying a cousin
0:08:33 > 0:08:35over someone from outside of the family?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37In some ways, yeah. It depends.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Sometimes, you have to listen to your parents as well,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42what they want, to keep them happy as well.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Do you think that's important, keeping your parents happy?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Sometimes, yeah, cos they've done a lot for you when you was young,
0:08:48 > 0:08:52and stuff. So, if you don't listen to your parents, it's kind of bad,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55cos then they think that you don't love them and stuff like that.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58In family, like, if something goes wrong in the marriage,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01you can at least ask 'em, cos they're, like, family,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04and they, like, look after you properly and stuff.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08But as for me, like, I got married outside, and it's...
0:09:08 > 0:09:10I don't know. It was just, like, an outside, and it was really hard.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13So, was that in Pakistan, or was it in England?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- It was in England.- And you married somebody from outside the family,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- and you found that harder?- It was really hard, yeah.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- Why did you find it hard?- Because the guy that I married, he had, like...
0:09:22 > 0:09:25He wasn't bothered, like, never spent time or anything,
0:09:25 > 0:09:27always be with his family and stuff, like,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30whatever they'd tell him to do, he'd do it.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Like, if they... Like, basically, I was like a servant for them. - Mmm-hmm.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38So they take, like, girls from Pakistan to England to, like, be the servant.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40So, if you were to marry again,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- would you prefer to marry inside the family?- Inside the family.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's so much better.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52I never even thought that marrying a cousin might protect women...
0:09:54 > 0:09:57..but in our culture, girls move in with their husband's family,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59so it makes sense.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02You already know your in-laws, and they already know you.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Let me show you your grandfather's grave.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13That's Mohamed Shafi Whalid Mohamed Kushir.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21This is the very top of that family tree - Chanda.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Yeah? We called him Baba Chanda.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26It's a bit of an honour and a privilege, actually, to show my daughter,
0:10:26 > 0:10:30um...you know, the...
0:10:30 > 0:10:32..one of our great ancestors.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39VOICEOVER: In Britain, it's all about you.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Here, it's not like that.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Whatever I decide will impact on my entire family.
0:10:48 > 0:10:54What I would like... You, and your brothers, and me, and everybody
0:10:54 > 0:10:57is to maintain this connection...
0:10:58 > 0:11:01..to this little piece of land on planet Earth.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04These were the people who you came from.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11The family unit means everything to Pakistani people.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Family defines who you are...
0:11:17 > 0:11:19..and your standing in the community.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27So, today was my first full day in Pakistan,
0:11:27 > 0:11:34and I went to my dad's family's village.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37It's very small, and if you marry someone from that village,
0:11:37 > 0:11:39they're bound to be related to you somehow.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42It showed why people did it,
0:11:42 > 0:11:45but it doesn't really show why people might do it now, I think.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54The next day, I notice a wedding taking place at the hotel we're staying at...
0:11:54 > 0:11:56and not just any celebration.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58It's a double wedding.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00The brides are sisters.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04They've agreed to speak to me on their big day,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06but their father's asked us to film them from the side
0:12:06 > 0:12:09to preserve their modesty.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11So, could you guys tell me who you're going to marry today?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29So, is there anything in particular that you liked about your cousin
0:12:29 > 0:12:31that made you want to marry him?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01VOICEOVER: Most marriages in Pakistan are arranged by the parents.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08Some are forced but, increasingly, the bride and groom are given a say.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13So, if we go for the coconut gulab jamun there, and these ones here?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16The number of weddings where individuals choose their partner,
0:13:16 > 0:13:20we call them "love marriages", is less than...
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Who I marry is totally up to me,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30but that doesn't make the decision any easier.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Today, I'm finally meeting my cousins.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39So, these are my cousin's children.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43- Hmm.- You know, your generation of young people who we'll be meeting.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48I haven't met them before either, so it should be interesting.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51VOICEOVER: I'm not good at all in family gatherings.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Right now, I'm feeling nervous.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01As-Salaam-Alaikum.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08As-Salaam-Alaikum.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11On the sofa are my two male cousins.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33There are two other cousins in the room -
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Naheed, who's 21, and Sundas, who is 17.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43No-one knows quite what to do.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45It's really awkward.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47So, us cousins head out.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Do you guys think about marriage at all -
0:14:50 > 0:14:52specifically, about cousin marriages?
0:15:22 > 0:15:26There are over 350 different castes, or social classes,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29in Pakistani society, so the pool
0:15:29 > 0:15:31of potential partners can be small,
0:15:31 > 0:15:33especially if you don't live in a big city.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40Despite this, I sense some hesitancy to cousin marriage from the girls.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Do you guys agree with that?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Would you say that you would have a cousin marriage?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11So, would you prefer
0:16:11 > 0:16:14to then get a marriage outside of the family, because of that?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26VOICEOVER: I couldn't really tell what they were like,
0:16:26 > 0:16:28but they seem nice enough.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30I think it was awkward for all of us, really.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Cos when you... Especially when
0:16:32 > 0:16:34you're family and you haven't met each other before,
0:16:34 > 0:16:36it's kind of like... "What do I say? What do I do?"
0:16:40 > 0:16:42There's loads to weigh up.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Being here has made me see the benefits of marrying your cousin,
0:16:46 > 0:16:48like security and stability.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52But I can't get what Sundas said out of my head.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55The genetic risks sound incredibly scary.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Before I decide anything,
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I need to know exactly what the dangers are.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I don't think it's a good thing,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19because of the genetic issues it can cause for children.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I think people who are thinking
0:17:21 > 0:17:22about marrying their cousins
0:17:22 > 0:17:25should do their research, and
0:17:25 > 0:17:27be really open to the fact
0:17:27 > 0:17:28that they could have children
0:17:28 > 0:17:29with genetic illnesses.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31It's not ideal, is it, keeping
0:17:31 > 0:17:33everything within the one gene pool?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Leads to loads of different complications, I guess.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38If they're going to be having
0:17:38 > 0:17:39offspring and stuff,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42then that's forcing them to
0:17:42 > 0:17:43have genetic deformities, really.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Is this all true? Does this really happen?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I'm back in Newcastle with Uncle Younis
0:17:53 > 0:17:56to see what the possible risks of marrying in the family are.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01I'm here to help you to make that decision...
0:18:02 > 0:18:03..as an elder.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11I'm going to take you to a friend of mine who has married a first cousin.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15It'll give you a better idea
0:18:15 > 0:18:20of the worst-case scenarios that we're talking about.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Ifti Khan and his wife Mehnaz have three children...
0:18:27 > 0:18:29..two of whom are severely autistic.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Good girl!
0:18:32 > 0:18:37This is Marianna Fatima, but we call her Fatima.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40She is going to be... She's 19, she's going to be 20 in June.
0:18:40 > 0:18:47Those two outdoor clogs have to be there facing that direction.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50If we change direction, Fatima will come here,
0:18:50 > 0:18:51notice it and change the direction again,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53so things have to be in their place.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59She's non-verbal. She doesn't have any communication system.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03She's at the severe end of the autistic spectrum.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11This is Rohan and he's 12 years old.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Is it clear? Is it clear?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18He's very particular about things that he likes and dislikes.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19I want the sky all blue.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21As he said, he wants the sky all to be blue.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23We've got to be patient, don't we?
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Yeah? Can you get one of the tissues?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Will you just bring the tissue box inside?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Oh, you want to do it yourself? OK.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- It will get clear.- Yeah. - I promise it will get clear.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37The kids give us...
0:19:38 > 0:19:43give us a lot of challenging moments, a lot of hard work,
0:19:43 > 0:19:44but a lot of joy as well.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47When you got married, did you think about the genetics issue at all?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- No.- You didn't?
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Well, it was in the back of my mind,
0:19:51 > 0:19:54but then I looked around and I thought,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57we looked around and we thought that we've got other relatives
0:19:57 > 0:20:01who married cousins and they don't have issues.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03When you think you get on with somebody, and you think you're
0:20:03 > 0:20:07compatible and you think you're going to have a good life together,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09it's the last thing that comes to your mind.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11And then we obviously started stressing about it, you know,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13when Fatima was diagnosed,
0:20:13 > 0:20:19and you're getting to this issue of maybe blaming yourself, that,
0:20:19 > 0:20:21you know, we got into a cousin marriage,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23and maybe that's the reason why
0:20:23 > 0:20:26our kids have these learning difficulties and disabilities.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30When we began to look around, we found out that there's a lot of people
0:20:30 > 0:20:34who aren't related, um...
0:20:34 > 0:20:35whose children have autism.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I think the scientific world is still
0:20:38 > 0:20:41at the point of speculating, consistently.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43They get a little bit of information,
0:20:43 > 0:20:47they expand on that information and create a theory out of it.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51But even if it is just a theory, do you still think it's worth the risk?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55If you think you want to minimise your risks...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57don't go for a cousin marriage.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02But don't allow yourself to believe that you are absolutely safe from
0:21:02 > 0:21:05these conditions just because you're not in a cousin marriage.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14We've done a lot of, you know, soul-searching over it,
0:21:14 > 0:21:17both me and Mehnaz, done a lot of soul-searching,
0:21:17 > 0:21:18but we've come to the conclusion
0:21:18 > 0:21:20that it's luck of the draw, I think.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22You know, whatever happens,
0:21:22 > 0:21:25it happens because nature intends it to happen.
0:21:25 > 0:21:31Maybe God choose us to put, uh, put this situation.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35It's like a test, could be test for us.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43It was a bit...
0:21:44 > 0:21:49It was a bit hard to be in that room and see that, um...
0:21:50 > 0:21:51..they have to live like that.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I felt kind of grateful that I'm...
0:21:55 > 0:21:59..in a family where that doesn't really affect me...
0:22:01 > 0:22:04..because it'd just be hard to see
0:22:04 > 0:22:08a child that you love with a condition like that, because...
0:22:11 > 0:22:13You can't really put that into words,
0:22:13 > 0:22:16how you'd feel if that was your child, or even, like...
0:22:18 > 0:22:19..a child in your family.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26I just can't help feeling that genetics is playing a part.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Allah or God's will is something I've heard before
0:22:31 > 0:22:34to explain away difficult times.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38But does our religion encourage cousins to get married?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43To find out, I'm meeting Imam Mohammed Saeed.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- As-Salaam-Alaikum. - As-Salaam-Alaikum.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51So what does the Quran say about cousin marriages?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54The Quran didn't mention...
0:22:55 > 0:22:56..marriage with cousins...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Mmm-hmm.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02..but if a thing is not mentioned in Quran, it means it is allowed.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Yeah.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Not prohibited, not forbidden.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12But it depends on the choice of your children, you are not allowed to...
0:23:14 > 0:23:17..pressurise them to get married inside the family.
0:23:17 > 0:23:22So this is a non-Islamic thing.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24So would you say that, in terms of cousin marriages,
0:23:24 > 0:23:28it's more of a cultural thing than a religious thing?
0:23:29 > 0:23:35You know what it is? I think it has become a cultural action,
0:23:35 > 0:23:36not religious.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39I'm feeling very happy you started this topic.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Yeah. Do you think it needs to be talked about more?
0:23:41 > 0:23:46Yeah. It's very important for our youngsters.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54My family, and now my religion, are leaving it up to me.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58But before I make this big decision,
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I need to get to the bottom of the genetic issue.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07I'm just looking at the Born in Bradford Project
0:24:07 > 0:24:10and I'm just looking at what it's about.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18Born in Bradford is a long-term study of 13,500 children born in the city
0:24:18 > 0:24:22between 2007 and 2010, whose health is being tracked.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29Pakistanis were responsible for 3% of all births and they accounted for
0:24:29 > 0:24:3330% of British-born children with genetic illness.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Som all the children born in general, we're 3%,
0:24:37 > 0:24:41and then, all the disabled children born, we're 30%.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44This shouldn't really be happening.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47That many children shouldn't be disabled, if it can be helped.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51I'm not going to lie.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53The genetic talk scares me.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59In my family, there's a history of acute deafness and thalassemia,
0:24:59 > 0:25:00a potentially fatal blood disorder.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I now wonder if these are caused by genes passed down in our family
0:25:05 > 0:25:07through cousin marriage.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09If so, am I a carrier?
0:25:11 > 0:25:12To get answers,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I've made an appointment at the International Gene Clinic
0:25:15 > 0:25:17with Dr Anand Saggar.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23So, tell me, how can I help you today?
0:25:25 > 0:25:30Well, I was hoping to find out more about genetics in general
0:25:30 > 0:25:32and what I could possibly be carrying,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35and if it could affect me if I was to get into
0:25:35 > 0:25:37a cousin marriage, or something like that.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41If you're first cousins, you share 12.5% of your genes in common,
0:25:41 > 0:25:44so therefore it's more likely, within that 12.5%,
0:25:44 > 0:25:47you might carry the same deleterious gene.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Have you ever had a test to see if you are a carrier?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- No.- Do you understand what a carrier means?
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Everybody's got two copies of their genes,
0:25:56 > 0:26:01and if one is broken then it recedes and hides behind the normal copy,
0:26:01 > 0:26:03and that's why we call it recessive.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06But if you do meet someone who's got the same abnormal gene
0:26:06 > 0:26:08in exactly the same place,
0:26:08 > 0:26:10then the child might have two abnormal copies
0:26:10 > 0:26:12and, therefore, no backup.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14So if this couple were cousins,
0:26:14 > 0:26:16it'd be more likely that they'd have those genes
0:26:16 > 0:26:18that are really similar?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Correct, but every pregnancy's got its risks,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23and that risk is approximately 2.5% to 3%.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25It's just that if you marry a cousin,
0:26:25 > 0:26:29we double that baseline risk to about 5%.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33To me, I see that as like, 100% increase in my mind,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36rather than seeing it as, "Oh, it's just 2% or 5%."
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Per se,
0:26:38 > 0:26:41there's nothing wrong with marrying a cousin,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45but it's about the risks you take and the sharing of the genes.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49If you do things like checking you're not a carrier for
0:26:49 > 0:26:51thalassemia, then you're trying to minimise these risks.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55So that's what I'm going to do.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56- Are you ready for this?- No.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02- Oh, dear.- Now might be a good time to mention, I hate blood tests.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05So, I'm just going to put this around your arm here,
0:27:05 > 0:27:06which is a bit tight.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12My blood will be screened for 300 different genetic diseases.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Open up your hand.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20I definitely think that if I get the results back and there's anything
0:27:20 > 0:27:24that comes up about me having any recessive genes,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26it will kind of...
0:27:28 > 0:27:30..put things into perspective a bit more, and, like,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33it will probably make me think twice about who I marry,
0:27:33 > 0:27:36because you're not just talking about marrying your cousin any more,
0:27:36 > 0:27:40you're talking about another person that'll be brought into this.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44It's unfair that that child might have a genetic defect
0:27:44 > 0:27:46because of that marriage.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51We aren't the only community at risk of passing on genetic diseases.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Ashkenazi Jews don't marry their cousins,
0:27:56 > 0:27:59but they tend to marry within their religion,
0:27:59 > 0:28:03creating a closed gene pool, much like ours.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07But the number of Ashkenazi kids born with genetic defects
0:28:07 > 0:28:09has dropped by ...
0:28:09 > 0:28:10over the last 20 years.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13I want to find out how.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20I've come to a monthly drop-in session for people who want to be tested...
0:28:22 > 0:28:24..and all they have to do is spit.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26You can go do it over there, you don't need to do it here.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27THEY LAUGH
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Igor, who's getting married next year,
0:28:29 > 0:28:32will be tested for the nine most common genetic disorders amongst
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Ashkenazi Jews.
0:28:34 > 0:28:35Is that enough?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- A bit more. - Little bit more?
0:28:39 > 0:28:41- I'm sorry, yeah. - All right, no problem.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Perfect, and then pop it in there.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48For Hayley, who's volunteering today,
0:28:48 > 0:28:50it's a service close to her heart.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54My cousin actually has one of the genetic conditions on the list that
0:28:54 > 0:28:55they're testing for today.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58She has a lot of issues and it's a very hard life for her,
0:28:58 > 0:29:00it's very hard for her parents to see her going through that.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04You know, if we can eradicate these conditions,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06then we should do everything in our power to do so,
0:29:06 > 0:29:07so then no-one has to suffer.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15Programmes like these save the NHS millions of pounds.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20Treating someone with thalassemia costs £20,000 per year,
0:29:20 > 0:29:24and for someone with severe learning disabilities, it's 50,000.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30It's definitely something I think my own Pakistani community
0:29:30 > 0:29:31could start doing.
0:29:36 > 0:29:40Just last month, a study in the London Borough of Redbridge
0:29:40 > 0:29:43looking into the causes of child deaths
0:29:43 > 0:29:46found that one in every five died because their parents were cousins.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Of those, half were Pakistani.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Three weeks later, my genetic results arrive.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59MOBILE RINGS
0:30:01 > 0:30:04- Hello.- Hi, it's Dr Saggar here.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06- Hi.- You've been waiting for these results.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09- Yeah.- So, it's excellent news, Hiba.
0:30:09 > 0:30:14You do not carry any of the mutations that we tested for.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18And we tested 314 diseases.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20- And I'm all clear?- You're all clear.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22It's fantastic news.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25VOICEOVER: It's a massive relief.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29Genetically, there's nothing stopping me from marrying a cousin.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31But before I make up my mind,
0:30:31 > 0:30:34there's one thing I've been meaning to ask Mum -
0:30:35 > 0:30:38why did her cousin marriage fail?
0:30:38 > 0:30:42I was married to my first cousin for about 18, 20 months.
0:30:44 > 0:30:48And it broke down, we were just not compatible, and...
0:30:48 > 0:30:52The whole support structure thing didn't happen for me, in terms of...
0:30:52 > 0:30:57OK, you know, you're related, and your mother-in-law's related to you, and stuff like that.
0:30:57 > 0:30:58So, you know,
0:30:58 > 0:31:02everyone who has spoken to me who's for cousin marriages
0:31:02 > 0:31:04has said, "Oh, it keeps families together,"
0:31:04 > 0:31:08and "You'll have the same values if you marry your cousin,"
0:31:08 > 0:31:13but that kind of just tells me otherwise...
0:31:13 > 0:31:15because what I do know is that...
0:31:16 > 0:31:20..your dad didn't speak to your auntie until she basically died,
0:31:20 > 0:31:23because of your marriage breaking down,
0:31:23 > 0:31:26so that kind of tore that family relation apart.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29There's two sides to that coin.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33That support structure can work really well,
0:31:33 > 0:31:37or it can keep you in a situation that you don't want to be in,
0:31:37 > 0:31:40because you're being pressurised to hold that family...
0:31:40 > 0:31:43hold the family ties together.
0:31:43 > 0:31:47I was very lucky, in that my parents supported me fully...
0:31:48 > 0:31:53..and I was able to get out of quite a nasty situation.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59I'm so proud of my mum for managing to get out of that marriage
0:31:59 > 0:32:02and going through the divorce,
0:32:02 > 0:32:05because, in the Pakistani community,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08it's not really a good thing to get divorced.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11It's looked down upon, especially for a woman.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13I'm especially proud of my grandparents, as well,
0:32:13 > 0:32:16for allowing her to do that, because,
0:32:16 > 0:32:18usually, people from their generation
0:32:18 > 0:32:21wouldn't allow something like that to happen,
0:32:21 > 0:32:24especially if it was in a cousin marriage
0:32:24 > 0:32:25that could break down a family.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Decision time.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Should I go with my uncle, who's pro?
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Dad, who's on the fence?
0:32:35 > 0:32:36Or Mum?
0:32:41 > 0:32:44I think ,after meeting all the people I've met and going all the
0:32:44 > 0:32:48places I've gone, I've decided that I won't be marrying a cousin.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50It's just not something that I'd be comfortable with.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57Like, if I weigh up the advantages and the disadvantages...
0:32:59 > 0:33:02..the advantages don't hold a lot of weight for me, especially because...
0:33:03 > 0:33:06..the person who's closest to me who I know who's been in a cousin
0:33:06 > 0:33:09marriage is my mum. That didn't work out for her.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13But I do think that if someone does want to marry their cousin,
0:33:13 > 0:33:15I wouldn't be against it.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21I'd say just get tested, so that you know the risks,
0:33:21 > 0:33:23and if you're happy with the risks, then go ahead with it.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Just as long as you're informed,
0:33:25 > 0:33:27and you can make a well-informed decision.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29MUSIC: Human by Rag'n'Bone Man