0:00:02 > 0:00:07Becoming a father is one of the most important events in a man's life,
0:00:07 > 0:00:12and the relationship he has with his child will shape both of their lives
0:00:12 > 0:00:15for years to come.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Until relatively recently,
0:00:17 > 0:00:20very few historical or academic studies have explored
0:00:20 > 0:00:24this crucial relationship and its impact on family life.
0:00:24 > 0:00:29For too long, negative stereotypes of the father have persisted.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31But now, in this three-part series,
0:00:31 > 0:00:35we bring together personal testimony and expert opinion
0:00:35 > 0:00:38to help us set the record straight.
0:00:38 > 0:00:43The image that we have of fathers in the past is absolutely totally,
0:00:43 > 0:00:46totally wrong. If you actually look at dads in the past,
0:00:46 > 0:00:50the vast majority are loving, warm, fathers.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Beginning at the turn of the 20th Century,
0:00:53 > 0:00:57this series will examine the social changes that affected dads
0:00:57 > 0:00:59in the hundred years that followed.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03We will show that despite the tragedy of two world wars,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05the privations of economic hardship
0:01:05 > 0:01:08and the upheaval of the sexual revolution,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12most dads have always striven to do their best for their children -
0:01:12 > 0:01:17as provider, protector, teacher and playmate.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21He always gave us a big hug and big kisses,
0:01:21 > 0:01:26and tell you to grow up a big girl and be a good girl.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Oh, I loved my father deeply.
0:01:30 > 0:01:35I just wanted to be in his company as much as possible.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37In this first programme,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40we journey back in time as far as living memory will allow,
0:01:40 > 0:01:44and hear from the children of Edwardian fathers
0:01:44 > 0:01:47and from dads who raised families in the inter-war years.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52There are many negative images of fathers from this period,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56but these are largely exaggerated or inaccurate.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I think why I was so fond of my father
0:01:59 > 0:02:03was because I always felt very strongly that he liked me.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08That I was a real person who he liked.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10These are tales of struggle and sacrifice,
0:02:10 > 0:02:14of tenderness, redemption - and above all,
0:02:14 > 0:02:18the enduring love that bonds father and child.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21This is the extraordinary story of...
0:02:32 > 0:02:37One of the most enduring stereotypes we have of the father from the past
0:02:37 > 0:02:40is of the distant, uncaring patriarch
0:02:40 > 0:02:43who expected his children to be seen and not heard.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Come here, Florence.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51What is the child afraid of? Come here, Florence.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53But this image is, for the most part,
0:02:53 > 0:02:58a myth - a creation of literature, propaganda and historical studies
0:02:58 > 0:03:01which have focussed almost exclusively on the mother.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Do you know who I am?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yes, Papa.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09And have you nothing to say to me?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Say "good night", miss.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Good night, Papa.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Good night, Florence.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Enough.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Go to Richard's now.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29One of the first academics to challenge the negative stereotype
0:03:29 > 0:03:32of the father from the past was Professor Joanna Bourke.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36We have this idea that fathers in the past
0:03:36 > 0:03:40were these rather stern patriarchal figures
0:03:40 > 0:03:42who sort of bossed everyone around -
0:03:42 > 0:03:46bossed the children around, you know, did corporal punishment,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50bossed the wife around - and rather tyrannical type figures.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55Those images, I think, really do need to be broken down.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02When I started to look at fathers in the past,
0:04:02 > 0:04:06one of the things that immediately jumped out at me was,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09"Hang on here. This sort of negative image of fathers
0:04:09 > 0:04:12"simply can't be true. I mean, I have a great dad."
0:04:12 > 0:04:14And in fact, all the people I know
0:04:14 > 0:04:19have fantastically warm, loving fathers, who are obviously...
0:04:19 > 0:04:21My dad, for example, had to juggle lots of things -
0:04:21 > 0:04:26he was a medically missionary, he worked very, very, very hard.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31But, you know, he was always a hands-on dad.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33He was always loving and affectionate.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37And I think that that was one of the reasons why I thought,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40"Well, is the stereotype... Is that true?"
0:04:43 > 0:04:45At the beginning of the 20th Century,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48the social landscape of Britain was very different
0:04:48 > 0:04:49from what it is today,
0:04:49 > 0:04:54with around 80% of the population considered to be working class.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Focusing her research on this section of British society,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Professor Bourke set out to uncover the truth.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Her findings,
0:05:04 > 0:05:08drawn from oral histories and autobiographies, were surprising.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15When I looked back in the archives and actually looked at ordinary dads,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18of the 250 working-class autobiographies
0:05:18 > 0:05:21that I used in my work,
0:05:21 > 0:05:26for every one who said that their dad did not do childcare,
0:05:26 > 0:05:2914 explicitly stated that he did.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35This was an era when fathers often worked long hours
0:05:35 > 0:05:39in dangerous conditions to earn what was called the family wage,
0:05:39 > 0:05:44and mothers were expected to stay at home with the children.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46It was a division of labour that would remain intact
0:05:46 > 0:05:49in peacetime Britain for the next 40 years.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53But although he was away from the family home,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57the father's main responsibility was to his children.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02In Edwardian Britain,
0:06:02 > 0:06:06we think very much of fathers being absent from family life
0:06:06 > 0:06:09and they're absent because they're in work, being providers.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17However, historians have tended to think this means that
0:06:17 > 0:06:21fathers aren't intimate in family life in any way -
0:06:21 > 0:06:24but in childhood memories of their dads,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27children actually constitute Father's absence
0:06:27 > 0:06:31as evidence of his presence in family life,
0:06:31 > 0:06:37because Father's away working for his children, for his family.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43We see lots of images of men leaving, in their hundreds,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46the mills, the factories, the mines -
0:06:46 > 0:06:49often very dirty, often very weary -
0:06:49 > 0:06:52and we tend to leave them at the factory gates.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55But if you read childhood memories,
0:06:55 > 0:07:00children anticipate Father's return home with real excitement.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04They know that Father has been away all day, working for them.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06But again, what we don't think about
0:07:06 > 0:07:10is fathers who've worked a very long day - often very, very tired -
0:07:10 > 0:07:13being truly excited to return home
0:07:13 > 0:07:15and to have their children greet them.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18But men can't resist their children.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22They love that tactile involvement with children
0:07:22 > 0:07:26and are delighted to be welcomed home with such excitement.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29One of four children,
0:07:29 > 0:07:35Lily Barron was born in the Welsh mining town of Blackwood in 1912.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39That is myself - Lily -
0:07:39 > 0:07:41and that's Daddy.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44The most important man in my life.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49He really was, and I loved every inch of him.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51I think we were the...
0:07:51 > 0:07:54apple of his eye, really.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55He really did - he...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I think he worshipped us.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04With a young family to keep, Lily's father worked hard -
0:08:04 > 0:08:08but like most dads, he made sure there were treats, too,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10like a trip to the seaside.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14On one day out, Lily was paddling in the sea,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16when she was knocked over by a wave.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20We didn't have bathers in those times.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23perhaps I had a petticoat and a pair of knickers on
0:08:23 > 0:08:25and that was it, you know.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28So I had to go off and be stripped off
0:08:28 > 0:08:31and Daddy carried me up the beach - cos I was crying -
0:08:31 > 0:08:34and got me undressed and put me on the...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36put the clothes on the rocks to dry.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39But Daddy never grumbled.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42He never... I never remember him grumbling at us.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45And we were naughty sometimes, I'll tell you.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50This image of the gentle Edwardian working-class father
0:08:50 > 0:08:53is at odds with contemporary reformist propaganda,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56which often portrayed Dad as a brutal drunk.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Whilst it's true that some men liked to drink, and a few drank to excess,
0:09:01 > 0:09:03the idea that many drunken fathers
0:09:03 > 0:09:07regularly abused their wives and children is a myth.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12These negative stereotypes
0:09:12 > 0:09:16are perpetuated by very particular groups in society,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20so not surprisingly, one of the key groups that sort of,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24er, perpetuates the stereotype is temperance reformers.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28By the early 1900s, the temperance movement,
0:09:28 > 0:09:32which advocated teetotalism, was flourishing in Britain
0:09:32 > 0:09:35and social reform groups like the Band of Hope
0:09:35 > 0:09:38were spreading the word against the perils of alcohol
0:09:38 > 0:09:41and its effect upon the working-class family.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43As a direct result,
0:09:43 > 0:09:47three million signed the pledge in support of abstinence.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Yet the myth of the brutal, drunken father persisted.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55One of the reasons I think they are so keen
0:09:55 > 0:09:59to promote this negative image of working-class fathers is that
0:09:59 > 0:10:03it justifies their own position within working-class communities.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08For temperance societies to justify their existence,
0:10:08 > 0:10:12they have to have a folk devil to target,
0:10:12 > 0:10:14and it is the working-class man.
0:10:14 > 0:10:21Of course, it wasn't only Edwardian working-class children
0:10:21 > 0:10:24who had close relationships with their fathers.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29One of seven children, Phyllis Ing was born in London,
0:10:29 > 0:10:32where her father was a solicitor's managing clerk.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34I'll never, ever forget my father.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41He was so kind and loving.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46A man you could snuggle up to.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48He was like a cuddly teddy bear.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51SHE LAUGHS
0:10:51 > 0:10:56During the week, Phyllis's father spent long hours at work,
0:10:56 > 0:10:59so at the weekend, there was nothing he enjoyed more
0:10:59 > 0:11:01than playing with his children.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04It was a far cry from the "seen and not heard" childhood
0:11:04 > 0:11:06of popular mythology.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11We used to have lots of fun with Dad.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12He was a real funny man.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17And on Friday night - always on a Friday -
0:11:17 > 0:11:21he used to come home with his pocket full of sweets for us.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24We used to play chases round the garden
0:11:24 > 0:11:27and we'd be shrieking with laughter and that sort of thing.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Even the neighbours used to enjoy listening to us laughing.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Mother said the weekends, it was terrible -
0:11:33 > 0:11:36the noise we used to make with Dad and that.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38She used to be glad when he went to work.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40SHE CHUCKLES
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Perhaps the single most significant event to affect fathers
0:11:49 > 0:11:53in the first part of the 20th Century was the First World War.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58As war fever spread across the country in August 1914,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01hundreds of thousands of men took up arms
0:12:01 > 0:12:04in the name of duty and patriotism.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08But as the threat from Germany grew stronger, it wasn't only
0:12:08 > 0:12:11the young and reckless that took the King's shilling.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17In 1914, you get this enormous rush to the colours.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21In the first instance, young men - unemployed, disaffected,
0:12:21 > 0:12:22keen on a sense of adventure.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25What you get then is a second rush of older men -
0:12:25 > 0:12:29of fathers who've wanted to make sure everything was OK at home,
0:12:29 > 0:12:32wanted to make sure the government was going to pay proper allowances
0:12:32 > 0:12:34to their families when they went to fight.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38These men were motivated, of course, by a sort of sense of patriotism
0:12:38 > 0:12:42and of duty, but it was more parochial than that.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43They had read the newspapers,
0:12:43 > 0:12:48they'd seen evidence that Germany threatened not France and Belgium,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50but threatened England itself,
0:12:50 > 0:12:53and it was their job to stop the Germans overseas
0:12:53 > 0:12:56before they came and stood on their own front door.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Lily Barron's father was one of those who volunteered to fight
0:13:02 > 0:13:03at the beginning of the war,
0:13:03 > 0:13:07and was posted to the South Wales Borderers as a Lewis gunner.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15With the expectation that they would help achieve a swift victory,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17the fathers who left for France
0:13:17 > 0:13:20could scarcely have imagined the horrors that awaited them.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24But as the weeks turned to months,
0:13:24 > 0:13:27and the casualty lists grew ever longer,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30it's not surprising that their thoughts turned regularly
0:13:30 > 0:13:32to their wives and children back home.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35At the beginning of the war,
0:13:35 > 0:13:41the Army Postal Service was handling some 650,000 letters per week.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46By 1916, that figure had increased to 11 million.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Many of these letters and postcards survive to this day,
0:13:51 > 0:13:55and have provided historians with a rich source of material evidence,
0:13:55 > 0:13:59which show that although far away, fathers still took a great interest
0:13:59 > 0:14:02in the daily lives of their children.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06PROFESSOR BOURKE: One of the things I always loved
0:14:06 > 0:14:10when I was reading the letters and diaries of working-class men
0:14:10 > 0:14:14is the great, great pride they take in their children.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17They take great, great pleasure in, you know,
0:14:17 > 0:14:18what their child is doing
0:14:18 > 0:14:20and you get these letters
0:14:20 > 0:14:25sent from fathers in the front lines actually complaining and saying,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28"Please! Can you tell me what little Sue is doing?",
0:14:28 > 0:14:30and "How is Johnny?",
0:14:30 > 0:14:32and "Lots and lots of kisses",
0:14:32 > 0:14:34and drawing images for their children.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37So children - infants in particular -
0:14:37 > 0:14:41are something that fathers were increasingly concerned about.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43They took great pride in it.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48# Take me back to dear old Blighty
0:14:48 > 0:14:51# Put me on the train for London town... #
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Perhaps more importantly, the legacy of this correspondence
0:14:55 > 0:14:58would be to change both the private and public perception
0:14:58 > 0:15:02of a father's feelings towards his children.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06When those men came back from the front lines,
0:15:06 > 0:15:11they were faced with children who actually knew -
0:15:11 > 0:15:14they had material evidence - that yeah, Daddy loves you,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Daddy wants to kiss you, Daddy wants to cuddle you,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Daddy will look after you when he comes back home.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Although letters enabled fathers and their children to keep in touch,
0:15:25 > 0:15:27more important were the rare days
0:15:27 > 0:15:30that dads could spend at home on leave.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32For battle-weary soldiers,
0:15:32 > 0:15:36a few days respite, spent in the company of their sons and daughters,
0:15:36 > 0:15:38must have seemed like paradise.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Lily Barron is returning to her old home town of Blackwood
0:15:51 > 0:15:52in South Wales.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55It was there that she was reunited with her father
0:15:55 > 0:15:58for the first time in three years,
0:15:58 > 0:16:02when he came home on leave in 1917.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04We were in school, my brother and I,
0:16:04 > 0:16:08and when we got home, we had such a surprise - Daddy was there.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11And oh, we were all over him then, you know.
0:16:12 > 0:16:17He hugged the pair of us in both his arms, around the both of us,
0:16:17 > 0:16:21and was kissing us, and then he'd rub Wyndham's hair like this
0:16:21 > 0:16:24and, oh, he just was...
0:16:24 > 0:16:28I don't know. I think he was excited to see that we'd grown a bit.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32We really didn't want to know about the war.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36All we cared about was our father coming back
0:16:36 > 0:16:40and we wanted to keep him there, but...it wasn't.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Wasn't able to.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Lily's father spent little more than a week at home,
0:16:46 > 0:16:51but arranged to have this photograph taken as a keepsake.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55The following day he had to say goodbye to his family again -
0:16:55 > 0:16:59this time with the full knowledge of just what awaited him in France.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04On the morning that these fathers would have left home,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07they would have kissed their wives goodbye, hugged their wives,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10hugged their children, got their kit, walked to the gate,
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Then they were going. They knew what they were going back into.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16They'd been wounded once or were back on leave.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18They understood the nature of the Western Front
0:17:18 > 0:17:21what happened to an infantry battalion
0:17:21 > 0:17:22when it went over the top,
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and that moment when they leave their family for that last time,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28they give their child that final kiss,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30their wives their final hugs.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35Can you imagine what that moment must have been like?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39As a father, I can get a sense of,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42you know, being away for a week and missing my son,
0:17:42 > 0:17:45but at least I have the prospect of coming back and seeing him.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48For these men, they had every prospect
0:17:48 > 0:17:51of never seeing their family again.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54The children that they'd read bedtime stories to,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57taken to the playground, taken to church.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58And all of a sudden,
0:17:58 > 0:18:02an arbitrary shell or bullet was going to end all that.
0:18:09 > 0:18:14Lily's father, John Jones, was killed in November 1917.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18His body lay undiscovered for nearly six months.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Regimental diaries reveal that he was shot in the thigh,
0:18:21 > 0:18:25and left behind as his regiment retreated.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29A copy of the family photograph was found on his body.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33The family struggled after his death,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36and Lily was sent to live with an aunt in Herefordshire.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39She never lived at home in Blackwood again.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43But today, she has returned to the town
0:18:43 > 0:18:48and the war memorial where her father's sacrifice is remembered.
0:18:51 > 0:18:56Well, I still think, you know, when they all had to retreat
0:18:56 > 0:18:58and Daddy was left there alone,
0:18:58 > 0:19:00what were his thoughts?
0:19:02 > 0:19:06I'm sure he was thinking about us all, you know.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10He was lovely. Yes, he was.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18It is estimated that 250,000 British fathers
0:19:18 > 0:19:20were killed in the First World War,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22and their loss left a hole in family life
0:19:22 > 0:19:25that would last for generations.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28But that is only part of the story.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Propaganda films like this one
0:19:30 > 0:19:34portrayed a happy homecoming for fathers lucky enough to survive.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37# Keep the home fires burning... #
0:19:37 > 0:19:39But this too was a myth.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43In reality, countless numbers of fathers
0:19:43 > 0:19:45found it difficult to settle back into family life
0:19:45 > 0:19:47after the horrors of war.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50And for these men seeing their families again, it was...
0:19:50 > 0:19:54It was a very, very difficult experience because all of a sudden,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57they'd seen things that no man should ever see and it...
0:19:57 > 0:20:01They would thrash around at night, they would have nightmares in bed,
0:20:01 > 0:20:03the children would now be not quite sure - who was this man?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Maybe they were too young to remember him pre-war.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Maybe even if they could,
0:20:08 > 0:20:10he's now not the father that they could recall.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13So all of a sudden, you've got this moment when you should have
0:20:13 > 0:20:18this elation of family reuniting again but very, very quickly,
0:20:18 > 0:20:20that broke up as people began to say,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22"You're not really my daddy that I remember,"
0:20:22 > 0:20:25or, "Daddy's angry, Daddy's violent, Daddy can't get a job,
0:20:25 > 0:20:29"Daddy can't look after the family." Equally, Daddy himself is thinking,
0:20:29 > 0:20:31"I can't look after my... I can't do well by my family,
0:20:31 > 0:20:34"I can't maintain the household. I've got these wounds,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37"I've got these mental agonies that I'm going through
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"and I've got nobody to help me."
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Alec Haines was one of those
0:20:46 > 0:20:49whose family suffered in the aftermath of the war.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55He was born in the village of Holme Lacy in the Wye Valley in 1920
0:20:55 > 0:20:59and has come back in search of the place where he lived with his father
0:20:59 > 0:21:01over 80 years ago.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07Alec's father was gassed and shot in the war
0:21:07 > 0:21:11and for a time, his injuries prevented him from working.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14He soon began to find comfort in drink.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20Like millions of soldiers in the First World War, came home,
0:21:20 > 0:21:25their lives had been shattered and so had my poor father.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28There was no work available
0:21:28 > 0:21:30and he could not work,
0:21:30 > 0:21:34but eventually, he did go out to farms
0:21:34 > 0:21:35and help in the hay and the corn
0:21:35 > 0:21:39and pulling up beet and all this sort of thing.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45And he took to drinking home-made cider
0:21:45 > 0:21:47and that's what he had at that farm,
0:21:47 > 0:21:51and subsequently, wherever he could get it.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56When Alec was five, his mother died,
0:21:56 > 0:22:00shortly after giving birth to his youngest brother.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02The family were evicted from their cottage
0:22:02 > 0:22:05and the youngest children were sent away
0:22:05 > 0:22:08to be looked after by relatives,
0:22:08 > 0:22:10but Alec and his dad stayed together.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17Somebody gave my father an old First World War bell tent
0:22:17 > 0:22:20and we two stayed in there
0:22:20 > 0:22:24and we were on some ground on a farm.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28That's where it would be - up there,
0:22:28 > 0:22:33but that don't matter, as long as we get on a green patch, do it?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Here's the style, here.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Bloody hell. "Heads down, Alec -
0:22:40 > 0:22:41"woodpeckers about."
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Now we're right.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57While Alec went to school,
0:22:57 > 0:23:02his dad laboured several miles away in return for cider and food.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05They supplemented their diet with fresh eggs collected from birds
0:23:05 > 0:23:08that nested in a nearby bank,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11and bread and jam made by the farmer's wife.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18After a brief search, Alec found his old home.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23He hasn't been back to this spot since 1925.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27This is it.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Yeah.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32That's it.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39It was here, in this field, that Alec and his dad lived
0:23:39 > 0:23:40for nearly six months,
0:23:40 > 0:23:43until the onset of winter forced them to leave.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Unable to cope, Alec's dad had to find an alternative.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53In desperation,
0:23:53 > 0:23:57he decided to send his three oldest children to Muller's Homes,
0:23:57 > 0:23:59a large orphanage in Bristol.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06The homes operated a strict system of segregation,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10and after a tearful last goodbye, the children were separated.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Quickly indoctrinated into a daily routine of prayer,
0:24:13 > 0:24:17hard work and cleanliness, Alec and his brother and sister
0:24:17 > 0:24:22were only allowed to see one another for one hour a month.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28All the time I was in Muller's Homes,
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I... I always thought,
0:24:30 > 0:24:34one day my poor dad will come down
0:24:34 > 0:24:40and rescue us from this terrible conditions we were in.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45And of course the time came -
0:24:45 > 0:24:51quite unexpected for me - when a master came in.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53He said, "I've just had a message.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55"Your father's died."
0:24:58 > 0:25:02I think I must have taken a deep breath.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04He did no more than turn round
0:25:04 > 0:25:08and go back to where he was with his hands - I can see it now -
0:25:08 > 0:25:10with his hands behind his back.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13He didn't know how it would affect me
0:25:13 > 0:25:17and it suddenly dawned on me,
0:25:17 > 0:25:18"Not my poor dad."
0:25:18 > 0:25:21And I fell down on the matting and with that,
0:25:21 > 0:25:2510 or 12 boys rushed to me and consoled me,
0:25:25 > 0:25:30and of course, I was just crying and crying.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Terrible.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I'd lost everything.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Alec remained in Muller's Homes until he was 14.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50He had no idea what had happened to his father
0:25:50 > 0:25:53until after the Second World War,
0:25:53 > 0:25:55when he discovered that he was buried here,
0:25:55 > 0:25:57not far from where they used to live.
0:25:59 > 0:26:04To my disgust - it hit me terrible -
0:26:04 > 0:26:07he was buried in a pauper's grave.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10After all that, for this country -
0:26:10 > 0:26:15wounded and gassed, came back to England,
0:26:15 > 0:26:17could not work,
0:26:17 > 0:26:20brought up a family -
0:26:20 > 0:26:24and then died and was buried in a pauper's grave.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Yeah, in a pauper's grave.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45During the inter-war years,
0:26:45 > 0:26:49a new spirit of optimism gradually began to spread across the country.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52After a government promise to provide homes fit for heroes,
0:26:52 > 0:26:57the Housing Act of 1919 led to the development of new council housing
0:26:57 > 0:27:00on modern cottage estates.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02And further legislation, passed in 1930,
0:27:02 > 0:27:07paved the way for the demolition of the old slum areas.
0:27:07 > 0:27:13Families soon began to leave the inner cities
0:27:13 > 0:27:16for a fresh start in the suburbs and by the end of the decade,
0:27:16 > 0:27:20one family in three lived in an inter-war-built house.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26This was a golden age for the new suburban father -
0:27:26 > 0:27:29one where he could enjoy simple pleasures with his children
0:27:29 > 0:27:31in a clean and safe environment,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35and where his role as a provider could be fully realised.
0:27:35 > 0:27:40The council estates and the suburbs of the inter-war years -
0:27:40 > 0:27:44very, very different to living in the inner cities.
0:27:44 > 0:27:49They were built not with pubs, but with gardens.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52They were built a long distance from your work,
0:27:52 > 0:27:57so there was a... You know, you had to travel from work to the home,
0:27:57 > 0:28:00so home became a separate sphere, if you like.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04The small nuclear family-type idea
0:28:04 > 0:28:06really, really grew in importance.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Birth rates, which had been falling in the early part of the century,
0:28:17 > 0:28:21temporarily increased after the First World War.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Yet for most men,
0:28:23 > 0:28:26childbirth remained a mysterious and frightening event,
0:28:26 > 0:28:30an experience from which they were often excluded.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32But nothing could overshadow the sheer joy
0:28:32 > 0:28:35of becoming a father for the first time.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Alfred Jenkins became a father in the 1920s.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47It was a very, er, terrifying experience for me,
0:28:47 > 0:28:49because I could hear my wife upstairs
0:28:49 > 0:28:51groaning with the pain
0:28:51 > 0:28:55and, er, I could hear the nurse encouraging her,
0:28:55 > 0:29:00and to be quite candid, very, very upsetting to me.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06Although I wasn't going through the pain,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I must have been having sympathy pains,
0:29:09 > 0:29:10because, er...
0:29:10 > 0:29:14I'm told that I fainted at the bottom of the stairs.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18When I recovered,
0:29:18 > 0:29:21I remember being presented with this lovely little baby.
0:29:23 > 0:29:28And I remember the feeling of elation, first of all,
0:29:28 > 0:29:34that my wife - according to the reports I received - was well,
0:29:34 > 0:29:36the child was well,
0:29:36 > 0:29:43and there I was, holding my own baby in my arms.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46And it was a wonderful moment.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51But although new dads enjoyed spending time at home
0:29:51 > 0:29:53with their young children,
0:29:53 > 0:29:56most baby care remained the duty of the mother.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59Many men were reluctant to get involved
0:29:59 > 0:30:03with the hands-on responsibility of caring for their baby -
0:30:03 > 0:30:08particularly those who worked in a masculine environment, like Alfred.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11When I got home from work most days,
0:30:11 > 0:30:13I helped with the children quite a lot.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17There was no question of my changing their nappies
0:30:17 > 0:30:20or bathing them or anything of that kind.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24The general picture was that men didn't do these things.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27That was the general way of life.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30It was women's work, men's work.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32And if a man did it, he was...
0:30:32 > 0:30:36I'm not saying he was baited all the time, but he...
0:30:36 > 0:30:41he'd lost a bit of his manliness in the eyes of other men by doing it.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46I would nurse them in the house,
0:30:46 > 0:30:48but the wife would always push the pram, like, see.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51If I went - I wouldn't go to push it in any case -
0:30:51 > 0:30:54but if a man did go to push it,
0:30:54 > 0:30:56the wife wouldn't accept it.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59See, that would...
0:30:59 > 0:31:03She wouldn't accept it. It would appear as if she was,
0:31:03 > 0:31:06what we called in those days, hen-pecking a man.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Fathers like Alfred were perhaps reluctant
0:31:13 > 0:31:18to take a hands-on approach because most were never shown how to do it.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21In the first decades of the 20th Century,
0:31:21 > 0:31:25welfare agencies and health visitors were on hand to offer instruction
0:31:25 > 0:31:26in the basics of parenting,
0:31:26 > 0:31:31but their services were provided almost exclusively to the mother.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38- DR STRANGE:- You have milk depots, training classes,
0:31:38 > 0:31:41health and welfare visitors who come to the working-class home,
0:31:41 > 0:31:46all aimed at the mother and teaching the mother to be a better parent.
0:31:46 > 0:31:47Fathers are completely -
0:31:47 > 0:31:50actively and deliberately -
0:31:50 > 0:31:53excluded from this movement.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58But all that was to change,
0:31:58 > 0:32:00with the creation of a new movement in parenting
0:32:00 > 0:32:03that would last into the 1940s.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06It was called Fathercraft.
0:32:06 > 0:32:11Well, the Fathercraft movement has, until recently,
0:32:11 > 0:32:13been completely lost to history.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16It started in London in 1920,
0:32:16 > 0:32:20at the Lancaster Road infant welfare centre in Kensington.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22And there were some male doctors who started it,
0:32:22 > 0:32:25and they thought it was very important to draw fathers in
0:32:25 > 0:32:28to the care of infants and young children.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32And the movement quickly spread
0:32:32 > 0:32:36and soon, there were centres in Bristol, in Birmingham,
0:32:36 > 0:32:37in Glasgow, in Liverpool.
0:32:38 > 0:32:42It sprang from developments in child psychology
0:32:42 > 0:32:46which had begun to recognise the important role played by fathers
0:32:46 > 0:32:50and to understand that when the bond between the father and the child
0:32:50 > 0:32:52was fostered very early on, that it was strongest.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56This was an absolute turning point.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00it was a turning point in the history of modern fatherhood -
0:33:00 > 0:33:03the first time that fathers' roles
0:33:03 > 0:33:07were really recognised by members of the health profession.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13Although there were many dads still to be converted
0:33:13 > 0:33:17to the joys of childcare, those that took the plunge often enjoyed it.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Tom Atkins moved to London from India in the 1930s
0:33:24 > 0:33:26and in the space of the next few years,
0:33:26 > 0:33:31met a girl, got married, and became the proud father of a baby daughter.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35And from the start, he took the kind of hands-on approach to fatherhood
0:33:35 > 0:33:39that would have made the instructors at Fathercraft classes very proud.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45Well, I remember changing nappies. In those days, it wasn't these...
0:33:45 > 0:33:48These little things with the press button at the side
0:33:48 > 0:33:50which you took off and threw away.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54These were the towelling sort of thing,
0:33:54 > 0:33:58which you put on and you pinned them at both sides.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02There was a special way of putting them on.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06It was smelly, and you just folded it up
0:34:06 > 0:34:10and put it in a bucket of water. Salty water, I think it was.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Yes, I did that. I did that for her.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20It's always been the hope of every new father
0:34:20 > 0:34:22that their child succeeds in life,
0:34:22 > 0:34:25and even betters their own achievements.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27In the inter-war years,
0:34:27 > 0:34:29as new babies grew into young children,
0:34:29 > 0:34:33many fathers willingly took on one of their most important roles -
0:34:33 > 0:34:35that of educator.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39This was particularly true in working class communities,
0:34:39 > 0:34:42which often had a strong autodidactic tradition -
0:34:42 > 0:34:46one which encouraged home education and self learning.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51Rather than the cliche of spending hours in the pub,
0:34:51 > 0:34:55many fathers would prefer to be at home, schooling their children.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58There's been this widespread assumption
0:34:58 > 0:35:00that working-class fathers haven't been interested
0:35:00 > 0:35:02in their children's education.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06In fact, historical records have debunked this myth.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09It's perfectly clear that working-class dads -
0:35:09 > 0:35:12especially more highly skilled workers, such as miners -
0:35:12 > 0:35:14were very interested in their children's education.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19There was a strong tradition of self education -
0:35:19 > 0:35:23miners' institutes, libraries, working men's educational groups -
0:35:23 > 0:35:26and it was these fathers' greatest joy
0:35:26 > 0:35:29to pass on their learning to their children.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33And for some of them, it was their greatest dream that their sons
0:35:33 > 0:35:36would be able to escape this hard life in the pits,
0:35:36 > 0:35:38risking their lives every day,
0:35:38 > 0:35:41by being able to go on to finer things.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43And so they transmitted their knowledge
0:35:43 > 0:35:45not just for the love of knowledge,
0:35:45 > 0:35:48but how it could help their children in the future.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55George Short, a miner from County Durham,
0:35:55 > 0:35:58brought up three children in the 1920s and '30s.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05Well, I taught my children, first of all,
0:36:05 > 0:36:07the importance of education
0:36:07 > 0:36:11and taught them, as I had been taught,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14how to read and how to write.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19I thought it was important because
0:36:19 > 0:36:23reading books, as I explained to them,
0:36:23 > 0:36:28they weren't just living on their own personal experiences -
0:36:28 > 0:36:30or even on my experiences -
0:36:30 > 0:36:35but books reflected the experiences of other people
0:36:35 > 0:36:37and because of this,
0:36:37 > 0:36:42books would give them a wider outlook on life.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47George's choice of books for his children
0:36:47 > 0:36:50was aimed at widening their understanding of the world,
0:36:50 > 0:36:52and its pleasures and problems.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55When they got to about eight or nine,
0:36:55 > 0:37:00Shakespeare, Jack London,
0:37:00 > 0:37:04and Dickens. I was, er...
0:37:04 > 0:37:08I always liked Dickens, even when I was younger myself,
0:37:08 > 0:37:12because I always thought the stories of Dickens
0:37:12 > 0:37:17were such that they were very easy to read
0:37:17 > 0:37:23and those that was on the side of the poor people,
0:37:23 > 0:37:29in Dickens's books, always came out on top.
0:37:32 > 0:37:36By contrast, children of the upper classes were often sent away
0:37:36 > 0:37:38to be educated at public schools,
0:37:38 > 0:37:42although some younger children - particularly girls -
0:37:42 > 0:37:44were taught at home by a governess.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47But despite the fact that upper-class fathers might not be
0:37:47 > 0:37:51so involved with their child's day-to-day education,
0:37:51 > 0:37:53some were inspirational figures,
0:37:53 > 0:37:57who taught their children more than scholars ever could.
0:37:57 > 0:38:02In the days of Empire, many fathers lived and worked overseas,
0:38:02 > 0:38:05while a lucky few travelled simply for pleasure.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10The middle daughter of seven girls,
0:38:10 > 0:38:14Dick Worcester was born in the New Forest in 1920.
0:38:14 > 0:38:19Her father, Tom Longstaff, was a qualified medical doctor,
0:38:19 > 0:38:21although he never practised.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24Instead, family wealth allowed him to follow
0:38:24 > 0:38:27his love of mountaineering and exploration.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31It was an age when climbing at altitude was a dangerous pastime,
0:38:31 > 0:38:36but Tom Longstaff had a passion for life, and for living.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41Don't be put off because a thing's dangerous -
0:38:41 > 0:38:46or supposed to be dangerous, or looks dangerous.
0:38:46 > 0:38:51What's the good of your life if you're not willing to chance it?
0:38:53 > 0:38:57His adventurous spirit had a marked effect on Dick from an early age,
0:38:57 > 0:39:00first becoming apparent when she decided
0:39:00 > 0:39:04she no longer wanted to be known by her original name, Barbara.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07I didn't like my name Barbara, I didn't like being a girl.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10I wanted to be a boy. Of course, I could then travel
0:39:10 > 0:39:13and explore and do things like my father.
0:39:13 > 0:39:18On the whole, there were no women climbing mountains and exploring
0:39:18 > 0:39:19that I knew about.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22I thought if I was a boy, I could.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26Among his many achievements,
0:39:26 > 0:39:30Dick's father climbed with George Mallory and Sandy Irvine
0:39:30 > 0:39:34on their 1922 expedition to Everest.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37It was just one of the exotic and far-away places
0:39:37 > 0:39:40to which he travelled during his lifetime.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44Although her father could be overseas for months at a time,
0:39:44 > 0:39:46the moments they spent at home together
0:39:46 > 0:39:48were always special for Dick.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52Her favourite treat was to be invited into his study,
0:39:52 > 0:39:54an almost sacred place,
0:39:54 > 0:39:58which she would hardly dare enter without his express permission.
0:39:58 > 0:39:59For an inquisitive child,
0:39:59 > 0:40:03it was a place of great wonder and fascination.
0:40:05 > 0:40:09Almost everything in the study was from a foreign country.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13On the back of the sofa, there was a snow leopard skin.
0:40:13 > 0:40:16He'd shot the snow leopard, but there were many in those days.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20And over the side, Tibetan saddlebags,
0:40:20 > 0:40:24and there was a strong smell of pipe smoke and tobacco.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27I loved lifting the lid of his tobacco jar and smelling it.
0:40:27 > 0:40:32And there was a narwhal's tusk, and there was a walrus tusk
0:40:32 > 0:40:35etched onto it by Eskimos.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37Little scenes of Eskimo life.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40And heaps and heaps of books,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44and I was allowed to take out ones I wanted to.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Despite his frequent absence,
0:40:47 > 0:40:50Dick has fond memories of her father
0:40:50 > 0:40:54and his playful, often relaxed, approach to parenting.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59Well, the first thing I can remember about my father was going along
0:40:59 > 0:41:01a long passage - it seemed very long to me -
0:41:01 > 0:41:06from the nursery to my parents' bedroom and getting into their bed,
0:41:06 > 0:41:09with them, where they were having morning tea
0:41:09 > 0:41:13and I loved drinking cold dregs out of willow pattern mugs.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16And my father used to want to play -
0:41:16 > 0:41:19to be a fox hidden under the bedclothes
0:41:19 > 0:41:21and then springing out at me,
0:41:21 > 0:41:23and he had a big red bushy moustache.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26He didn't have a beard in those days, but he did later,
0:41:26 > 0:41:31and I enjoyed it very much, and he loved doing it.
0:41:36 > 0:41:40I did feel that my father loved me, although he was very undemonstrative.
0:41:40 > 0:41:44But I did feel that strongly.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47He seemed to understand an awful lot about me without saying much.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51But I can't remember any discipline from my father,
0:41:51 > 0:41:54except he hated us playing the gramophone.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57We used to play the gramophone and roller skate in a big room he built
0:41:57 > 0:42:01and he could hear the music from his study windows
0:42:01 > 0:42:06and he used to come and firmly shut the windows in our room.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09We realised he was displeased, but he wasn't cross.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Inspired by her father's adventures,
0:42:15 > 0:42:17Dick has always loved foreign travel.
0:42:17 > 0:42:20And one place has meant more to her then any other.
0:42:22 > 0:42:26I went to Nepal when I was 70
0:42:26 > 0:42:28and then four years later, when I must have been 74,
0:42:28 > 0:42:30and I loved it.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35Being high up made me feel strongly connected with my father,
0:42:35 > 0:42:39which was a very, very nice feeling. Very nice.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42I knew he must have loved the same sort of country,
0:42:42 > 0:42:45though of course, he went much, much higher up.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48One of the best experiences of my life, being there.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Who put that picture there?
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Dick's experience of a having father who was reluctant
0:42:57 > 0:43:01to discipline his children is not unusual,
0:43:01 > 0:43:06but it contradicts an enduring stereotype - the violent father.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Whilst it's true that some men did use corporal punishment
0:43:09 > 0:43:13against their children, the image of the brutal disciplinarian,
0:43:13 > 0:43:17popular in contemporary films and novels, is largely inaccurate.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18Daddy.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21You'll hit me too hard, Daddy, and they'll hang you.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23I'll learn you.
0:43:23 > 0:43:27They'll hang you, Daddy. Don't do, Daddy.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29- I'll learn you.- Look...
0:43:33 > 0:43:36You dare turn my picture to the wall. Your own dad...
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Most fathers disliked punishing their children,
0:43:39 > 0:43:42and their involvement in discipline was often seen as a last resort.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45You good-for-nothing little madam. I'll learn you.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48PROFESSOR BOURKE: If we look, for example,
0:43:48 > 0:43:50at the role of discipline within the home,
0:43:50 > 0:43:53what becomes very, very clear
0:43:53 > 0:43:55is that it really was - it remained -
0:43:55 > 0:43:58the mother's job to discipline the children.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00The mother was responsible
0:44:00 > 0:44:03for the day-to-day disciplining,
0:44:03 > 0:44:08controlling, ensuring that everything went, if you like, according to plan.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Evidence of dads' reluctance to discipline their children
0:44:14 > 0:44:19is supported by the observations of many social commentators,
0:44:19 > 0:44:23and in particular, a district nurse turned author called Margaret Loane,
0:44:23 > 0:44:28who wrote about her experiences in working-class households in London.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30And Margaret Loane says that
0:44:30 > 0:44:32a lot of mothers' discipline
0:44:32 > 0:44:35is actually undermined by indulgent fathers
0:44:35 > 0:44:39who are so pleased to see their children, they don't want to be
0:44:39 > 0:44:44the one who has to use their special time with their children
0:44:44 > 0:44:46to be disciplining them.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Margaret Loane also comments that
0:44:49 > 0:44:53one of the reasons mothers use "wait till your father gets home"
0:44:53 > 0:44:58as a threat is because children desperately don't want
0:44:58 > 0:45:02to disappoint their dads and so, actually,
0:45:02 > 0:45:08the "wait till your father get home" threat is quite an empty threat.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11It's very useful because children don't want Father to know -
0:45:11 > 0:45:14not because they're frightened he's going to beat them,
0:45:14 > 0:45:16but because they don't want to disappoint him.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20Of course, there were exceptions.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24In fact, middle-class dads, even loving ones,
0:45:24 > 0:45:27were the most likely to use harsh methods of discipline.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Phyllis Ing's father loved playing with his children,
0:45:32 > 0:45:34but was prepared to use corporal punishment
0:45:34 > 0:45:36when he felt it was necessary.
0:45:37 > 0:45:41I know that he was a very loving, kind father,
0:45:41 > 0:45:42but very strict.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45I mean, I can remember there was always a cane hanging up
0:45:45 > 0:45:47in the larder.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49But never on the girls.
0:45:49 > 0:45:52I think he occasionally gave the two elder boys
0:45:52 > 0:45:54a tap on the backside now and again.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00Like when my brother - eldest brother - went to the cup...
0:46:00 > 0:46:02He had a very sweet tooth, which he'd had all his life.
0:46:02 > 0:46:07Anyway, he went to the cupboard and he saw a tin of condensed milk open
0:46:07 > 0:46:10so he got a spoon and he dipped it in
0:46:10 > 0:46:14and he, filled... Had a whole spoonful of condensed milk
0:46:14 > 0:46:19and then he took the spoon to the scullery to put in the sink.
0:46:19 > 0:46:23But it also dripped all the way along the floor,
0:46:23 > 0:46:25not knowing he'd done that.
0:46:25 > 0:46:28And Dad came in, so he said, "Who's been to the cupboard?"
0:46:28 > 0:46:31So Bill said, "I have, Dad."
0:46:31 > 0:46:34"Get a cloth, wipe it up, and then get the cane."
0:46:34 > 0:46:37And he got the cane for that, I remember.
0:46:37 > 0:46:38SHE CHUCKLES
0:46:38 > 0:46:42You see, you couldn't do anything without asking.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48Miner George Short, however, was one of those fathers
0:46:48 > 0:46:50passionately opposed to the cane.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53Just as he had with his children's education,
0:46:53 > 0:46:56when it came to discipline, he took an enlightened approach.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02I didn't believe in corporal punishment -
0:47:02 > 0:47:07either for them or for any other children. I thought...
0:47:07 > 0:47:10that was no way to teach kiddies,
0:47:10 > 0:47:12to bring them up.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17Even when they were naughty, then I realised
0:47:17 > 0:47:20that was not a failure of them.
0:47:20 > 0:47:22I realised it was a failure of me.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26So if you want to train children,
0:47:26 > 0:47:30the big thing is to win their confidence.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33And if you win their confidence,
0:47:33 > 0:47:36then they'll do whatever you tell them.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42A father's ability to fulfil his role as provider
0:47:42 > 0:47:46has always been dependent upon his employment.
0:47:46 > 0:47:50In the first half of the century, many jobs were physically demanding
0:47:50 > 0:47:51and often dangerous,
0:47:51 > 0:47:55but the threat of unemployment was of far greater concern.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00In the late '20s and '30s,
0:48:00 > 0:48:03the North East of England was devastated
0:48:03 > 0:48:05by the effects of the Great Depression.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Mines, shipyards and heavy industry closed down,
0:48:08 > 0:48:11and men were laid off in their thousands.
0:48:11 > 0:48:15In some places, as unemployment rose as high as 70%,
0:48:15 > 0:48:18men joined queues at soup kitchens
0:48:18 > 0:48:21and scrabbled for scraps of coal on slagheaps
0:48:21 > 0:48:25in an attempt to provide food and warmth for their families.
0:48:25 > 0:48:28It was harrowing time to be a father.
0:48:29 > 0:48:33Fathers strive to provide for their families.
0:48:33 > 0:48:38If they are unemployed it's a huge source of anxiety for them,
0:48:38 > 0:48:43because they see their role and their relationship with their family
0:48:43 > 0:48:48as kind of defined by their ability to provide for their family.
0:48:48 > 0:48:52It's a language of love for an awful lot of fathers
0:48:52 > 0:48:56who never verbalise their sentimental feelings.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59And this is thrown into relief when men are unemployed
0:48:59 > 0:49:04and the huge self-recrimination and guilt that men express
0:49:04 > 0:49:06at not being able to provide for their families
0:49:06 > 0:49:10offers us a window into seeing what that means for them.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15In County Durham, George Short was one of those fathers
0:49:15 > 0:49:19who had to cope with the misery of unemployment.
0:49:19 > 0:49:20Here you were.
0:49:20 > 0:49:26Your family needed things, they needed new clothes.
0:49:26 > 0:49:31The average man - particularly the men of my class -
0:49:31 > 0:49:36they always had believed that they were the breadwinner
0:49:36 > 0:49:39and they were the one that, er...
0:49:39 > 0:49:42that kept the wheels turning.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46And the fact that his wife might get a job
0:49:46 > 0:49:51didn't help, you see, because that helped take away
0:49:51 > 0:49:56from the man the sense of importance which was his.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58It was a terrible feeling.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05Despite the hardships fathers faced during the Depression,
0:50:05 > 0:50:08there was one unexpected benefit.
0:50:08 > 0:50:09With no work to go to,
0:50:09 > 0:50:13dads could spend more time in the company of their children.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17George saw his free time as opportunity
0:50:17 > 0:50:19to further his children's education,
0:50:19 > 0:50:22and took them walking and camping in nearby woodland.
0:50:24 > 0:50:29We used to go into the woods and in the woods, of course,
0:50:29 > 0:50:33there was every form of wild animal.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Rabbits used to run almost tame
0:50:36 > 0:50:42and, er, not only rabbits but hares, and they would be...
0:50:42 > 0:50:46And then crawling about, you'd find hedgehogs and things like that,
0:50:46 > 0:50:49so we would stop and look at these
0:50:49 > 0:50:54and the bairns used to enjoy going for walks with us like that.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01Fathers like George were an inspiration to their children
0:51:01 > 0:51:03and in the inter-war years,
0:51:03 > 0:51:06it was common for sons to want to follow in their footsteps,
0:51:06 > 0:51:08by taking up the same occupation.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11For many dads, this rite of passage
0:51:11 > 0:51:15came with significant emotional responsibility.
0:51:16 > 0:51:22For a dad training one's son up in your skill -
0:51:22 > 0:51:26in your occupation - is one of the greatest gifts
0:51:26 > 0:51:27you can give your son.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31In a sense, your knowledge, your skill,
0:51:31 > 0:51:36your experience as a working father is your capital.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39It's your son's inheritance.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41And so, giving this to your son
0:51:41 > 0:51:46is not just about providing him with an income
0:51:46 > 0:51:49and an occupation for his future -
0:51:49 > 0:51:53it's very much about giving him something of yourself.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56One of six children,
0:51:56 > 0:52:00John Salinas was born in Liverpool in 1919.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03Oh, I loved my father deeply.
0:52:03 > 0:52:08I just wanted to be in his company as much as possible.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10He was a very powerful man -
0:52:10 > 0:52:14very strong, broad, and athletic -
0:52:14 > 0:52:19and he used to take me to the swimming pool
0:52:19 > 0:52:23and I could get on his back and ride on his back.
0:52:23 > 0:52:28And it was a great feeling and a great closeness between us.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Unfortunately I didn't see a great -
0:52:32 > 0:52:34as much of him as I would have liked -
0:52:34 > 0:52:36because he was a seafarer.
0:52:36 > 0:52:40And so he came and went and I saw him between voyages.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47He was a ship's bosun and he was a leader of men,
0:52:47 > 0:52:52and I was proud of the fact that he was the man
0:52:52 > 0:52:56that went about the ship and told other people what to do.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59He was an authoritative figure,
0:52:59 > 0:53:04but not an unkindly authoritative figure.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07He was my father. He was my father.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09He was the head of the family.
0:53:09 > 0:53:14He was a man of experience, and clever and...
0:53:14 > 0:53:19able to take care of us, and equally missed when he wasn't there.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25In 1927, while working on a ship in dock,
0:53:25 > 0:53:29John's father was badly injured in an accident.
0:53:29 > 0:53:33With his dad confined to bed, John took full advantage
0:53:33 > 0:53:35of the extra time they could spend together.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39I was eight years old at the time
0:53:39 > 0:53:41and I used to read the paper to him -
0:53:41 > 0:53:45would be the Liverpool Echo then -
0:53:45 > 0:53:48and I couldn't get my mouth around some of the words,
0:53:48 > 0:53:52such as "policeman" was "polisman"
0:53:52 > 0:53:55and "needless" was "needles".
0:53:55 > 0:53:57But he loved me reading to him.
0:53:57 > 0:54:02I think... I can imagine now how touched he would have been
0:54:02 > 0:54:06that I should stay in the quiet, semi-lit room
0:54:06 > 0:54:10reading to him, than out playing with the other children.
0:54:12 > 0:54:17Those precious evenings were the last John would ever share
0:54:17 > 0:54:20with his father, who died from his injuries.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23it was a sad and confusing time for John.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28I can remember him lying in the, er,
0:54:28 > 0:54:32tiny parlour that we had.
0:54:32 > 0:54:36The coffin on two trestles.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38And kissing his forehead
0:54:38 > 0:54:42and finding it icy, like marble.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46And there were lots of people coming to the house
0:54:46 > 0:54:48and they were praising my father.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51BELL TOLLS
0:54:51 > 0:54:56When my father was buried, we went in a...
0:54:56 > 0:54:59A coach and horses,
0:54:59 > 0:55:03and the horses' hooves rattled on the cobbles
0:55:03 > 0:55:07and the tyres slid silently over them.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10When I looked out of the window,
0:55:10 > 0:55:15I could see people coming to attention and raising their hat,
0:55:15 > 0:55:18touching their forehead and it impressed me greatly.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22And they were respecting my father.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24And even to this day,
0:55:24 > 0:55:28if I see such a cortege moving along the road,
0:55:28 > 0:55:32I behave in the same way, just in case there's some little boy...
0:55:37 > 0:55:42..like me, who would get similar satisfaction from it.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49When we got to the cemetery of course,
0:55:49 > 0:55:52the coffin was lowered into a deep grave.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56I never thought that graves could be so deep.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59And...
0:55:59 > 0:56:03when I threw the handful of soil onto the shiny coffin lid
0:56:03 > 0:56:05and it rattled on the lid,
0:56:05 > 0:56:10I was filled with horror that my father was down there.
0:56:15 > 0:56:19After that, I used to look for him everywhere.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23I never... I never felt that he'd gone away for good.
0:56:23 > 0:56:25I always felt that he would come back
0:56:25 > 0:56:28like he used to between voyages,
0:56:28 > 0:56:30but he never did.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33With the sea in his blood,
0:56:33 > 0:56:36John joined the Merchant Navy when he was just 15
0:56:36 > 0:56:41and later sailed on convoys to Malta during World War II.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44But wherever he was,
0:56:44 > 0:56:48he always tried to live up to the example set by his father.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51I wanted nothing to be said of me that would...
0:56:51 > 0:56:54That my father would be ashamed of.
0:56:54 > 0:56:59I always wanted to behave that he would never be ashamed of me.
0:56:59 > 0:57:03And when I eventually went to sea myself,
0:57:03 > 0:57:06I met some of his shipmates and they used to say,
0:57:06 > 0:57:08"Oh, I remember your father.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10"Fine man, your father."
0:57:12 > 0:57:13They were very kind.
0:57:17 > 0:57:23The love and respect with which John remembers his father is not unusual.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26There's little doubt that dads in the first half of the century
0:57:26 > 0:57:30often had close relationships with their children.
0:57:30 > 0:57:34They might have spent long hours at work, been scarred by the war
0:57:34 > 0:57:37or sometimes stern,
0:57:37 > 0:57:38but to their sons and daughters,
0:57:38 > 0:57:44they're also remembered as kind, devoted and inspiring.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49In the inter-war years, health and welfare authorities
0:57:49 > 0:57:51at last began to take seriously
0:57:51 > 0:57:55the importance of a father's role in bringing up his children.
0:57:55 > 0:57:58And whilst the idea of the hands-on, stay-at-home dad
0:57:58 > 0:58:01that we recognise today was still some way off,
0:58:01 > 0:58:05it's clear that the true picture of the father from the past
0:58:05 > 0:58:09is vastly different from the negative stereotype
0:58:09 > 0:58:11of popular mythology.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20Next time, we reveal the effects of the Second World War
0:58:20 > 0:58:22and the teenage revolution
0:58:22 > 0:58:25on Britain's fathers and their children.
0:58:50 > 0:58:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:53 > 0:58:56E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk