0:00:04 > 0:00:08The Second World War had a devastating impact on family life in Britain,
0:00:08 > 0:00:12with repercussions that are still felt to this day.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18It brought grief and heartache to millions of people across the land.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23It wrecked marriages and turned decent fathers into broken men.
0:00:25 > 0:00:30It did affect me badly. I began to think myself as worthless...
0:00:32 > 0:00:37..as no good for anything, because I couldn't provide
0:00:37 > 0:00:40as I wanted to for my family.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Four million men were demobbed in the years following the war,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47many of them fathers.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Thousands were scarred by their experiences and struggled to return
0:00:51 > 0:00:56to civilian life in a world that had changed beyond all recognition.
0:00:56 > 0:01:01But their homecoming could be just as traumatic for their children,
0:01:01 > 0:01:04for whom Daddy was a stranger.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09And all of a sudden there was this man, and he just threw his arms around my Mum
0:01:09 > 0:01:13and I just felt as if I was totally on the outside.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16I think I heard mum said something about it,
0:01:16 > 0:01:18it's your dad, or your daddy.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22I didn't know what a dad was, I didn't know what a daddy was.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23And I didn't like him.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31In the years that followed, austerity would be replaced by affluence
0:01:31 > 0:01:35and as stable marriages flourished, fathers would at last enjoy
0:01:35 > 0:01:39the simple pleasures of time spent with their sons and daughters.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43But the children of the Blitz would soon grow up to become
0:01:43 > 0:01:50the rebellious teenagers of the '50s and '60s, and would reject all that their fathers had fought for.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55I didn't want to be like him, I wanted to be the business,
0:01:55 > 0:01:59which was at the time the Teddy Boys, and he didn't want me to be.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03And the more he didn't want me to be, the more I wanted to be
0:02:03 > 0:02:06and the more I would be, do you know what I'm saying?
0:02:06 > 0:02:11This is the continuing story of how Britain's fathers have fought
0:02:11 > 0:02:16to overcome many obstacles in their struggle to bring up their children.
0:02:16 > 0:02:21These are tales of love and war, rebellion and redemption.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23This is A Century Of Fatherhood.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31BELLS RING
0:02:34 > 0:02:40For many families in Britain, life in the late 1930s was a happy one.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44With unemployment falling after years of depression,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48and home ownership on the rise, the future was looking bright.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54But all this would change with the outbreak of the Second World War.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I have to tell you now
0:02:59 > 0:03:03that no such undertaking has been received,
0:03:03 > 0:03:08and that consequently this country is at war with Germany.
0:03:10 > 0:03:16At the start of the war, the British Army numbered less than 900,000 men,
0:03:16 > 0:03:22compared to well over four million in the combined German Armed Forces.
0:03:22 > 0:03:28Conscription was introduced for all able-bodied men between the ages of 18 and 41,
0:03:28 > 0:03:34and by the end of 1939, more than a million men had been called into service.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Given the age range, many were fathers.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Before September was out, the British Expeditionary Force
0:03:49 > 0:03:51had set sail for France
0:03:51 > 0:03:55and in the months that followed, more volunteers and conscripts
0:03:55 > 0:03:58would leave Britain for the Middle East, North Africa and Burma.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02And unlike those that left to fight at the beginning of the First World War,
0:04:02 > 0:04:07this time they were fully aware that they might not be coming back.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11It's very easy to forget
0:04:11 > 0:04:15that the Second World War came hard on the heels of the First World War,
0:04:15 > 0:04:20so that young men who were going away to fight, and were young fathers in 1939-1940,
0:04:20 > 0:04:23had quite possibly had the experience of losing
0:04:23 > 0:04:27their own fathers, or uncles, or cousins, or even brothers in the First World War
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and they knew the impact that had on family life.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Cliff Shepherd, a butcher from Yorkshire, had volunteered to fight,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40despite being devoted to his baby daughter, Thelma,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43who was born in 1939.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Well, to leave Thelma,
0:04:45 > 0:04:46it...
0:04:46 > 0:04:50just practically broke my heart
0:04:50 > 0:04:51to go...
0:04:51 > 0:04:56and the thought passed through my mind, "Will I see her again?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59"Will I be killed and that?"
0:04:59 > 0:05:01And we loved each other so much.
0:05:06 > 0:05:12Cliff made Thelma one last promise, that he would bring her home a doll on his return.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Then it was time for him to leave.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22And I were feeling absolutely terrible
0:05:22 > 0:05:26and I tried to look cheerful,
0:05:26 > 0:05:31and as soon as I got out of the door, I cried all the way to the station
0:05:31 > 0:05:33and I couldn't resist it.
0:05:35 > 0:05:41Family life was disrupted further as the threat of aerial attack loomed large.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43And over three million people, mostly school children
0:05:43 > 0:05:49from Britain's towns and cities, were evacuated to the countryside.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55But against all expectation, the air raids didn't happen.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57During the months of phoney war,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00a false sense of security spread across the country
0:06:00 > 0:06:05and in time, thousands of children returned home.
0:06:05 > 0:06:11When the Blitz finally began, over 5,000 of them would be killed.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Sonny Leigh grew up in Bermondsey in London.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22As a boy, he'd had a difficult childhood and when he married
0:06:22 > 0:06:25his sweetheart Daisy in 1938 they vowed that they would
0:06:25 > 0:06:27bring up a happy family together.
0:06:30 > 0:06:35In 1940, Daisy gave birth to their first daughter, Pamela.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39You can't describe the feeling I had, you cannot.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43It's out of this world, especially when, you know,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45you want something and you've got it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49And she was about six weeks old, and I said, "Daisy,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51"don't you think we ought to see about getting her christened?"
0:06:51 > 0:06:54She said, "I'm going to give it until she's two months,
0:06:54 > 0:06:57"then we'll go to the church and we'll get her christened."
0:06:58 > 0:07:03Sonny had volunteered for the Auxiliary Fire Service at the outbreak of war,
0:07:03 > 0:07:09but was off duty when the Germans began their aerial bombardment on September the 7th.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15This was the first night of the Blitz and London's docklands,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19close to where Sonny lived, bore the brunt of the attack.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25As the bombs fell, Sonny and his family fled
0:07:25 > 0:07:28to an air raid shelter close to their home.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31This night was a bloody awful night,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35it was like a bloody battlefield.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40Daisy and her mother and Pamela, they were all in the shelter.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44And she said, "I've left my rings and everything on the dressing table."
0:07:44 > 0:07:48So I run upstairs, grabbed her stuff, run downstairs.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50As I bent down to give it to Daisy
0:07:50 > 0:07:53so the landmine came down and that was it.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Inside, the shelter was all buckled
0:08:01 > 0:08:03and they dug us out.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08And I looked at Pamela and she was lying in this woman's arms.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I wanted to go and kiss her but I thought she was asleep,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14I don't want to wake her.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18I didn't know she was dead.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27I've regretted it ever since, that I never said goodbye.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Now she's a little sunbeam.
0:08:48 > 0:08:54For fathers separated by the war from their families, whether at home or overseas,
0:08:54 > 0:08:57the best way to ensure at least some involvement in the lives
0:08:57 > 0:09:02of their growing children was through the good old-fashioned letter.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06From the deserts of North Africa to the jungles of Burma,
0:09:06 > 0:09:11as fathers prepared for action, thoughts of their children were never far from their mind,
0:09:11 > 0:09:15and a simple message from home could mean so much.
0:09:20 > 0:09:26It is absolutely the case that the army recognised the importance of the postal system to morale,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29not only morale of their men, but also morale back home.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Thousands of millions of letters exchanged hands,
0:09:33 > 0:09:40so there was a real correspondence and communication going on between fathers and sons and daughters,
0:09:40 > 0:09:44which I think helped enormously for when the men came home, because they had that link
0:09:44 > 0:09:49with their children, and they really felt they needed it because a child is the future
0:09:49 > 0:09:52and they had to feel they were fighting for something.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55If you just sit out in the desert or you're stuck in Northern Italy,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57or you're fighting in Burma,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59you have to believe that there's something you're going to go back to.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03From the women of Britain to all their men folk overseas.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10"My dear, another letter for you to let you know we're all well and everything at home is going on fine.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16"Ann and John are marvellous, they seem to be growing every day,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19"and since the weather improved, they've just lived out of doors.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23"I'd love you to see them scampering over those fields at the back of the cottage..."
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Cliff Shepherd joined the RAF Regiment as a gunner
0:10:37 > 0:10:41and was away from home for most of the war.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44He wrote to his wife and daughter, Thelma, every day,
0:10:44 > 0:10:49and sent Thelma this photograph, so that she wouldn't forget him.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55In his letters to her, he was always careful
0:10:55 > 0:10:57to avoid the realities of war.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03I used to say, "I've been on the tram car today,"
0:11:03 > 0:11:06and in some cases...
0:11:06 > 0:11:10I hadn't. I used to make it up
0:11:10 > 0:11:13because I didn't want to tell her anything about war.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18But you were scared stiff many times.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Thelma has kept many of the letters Cliff wrote to her in the five years that he was away,
0:11:24 > 0:11:28and still has his photograph that she used to kiss goodnight.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36But there is one card that Thelma treasures above all others.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45There was one very special birthday card that Dad sent me
0:11:45 > 0:11:49and he'd put a special two verses in, a little poem for me.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54I'll read it to you. "God bless you darling Thelma upon this happy day.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57"My thoughts are always with you, though I am far away.
0:11:57 > 0:12:02"I send you birthday greetings, for you are six today.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07"May future years be happy ones, to help you on life's way.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12"To my darling, Thelma, with best wishes for a very happy birthday.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14"From Daddy. Lots of kisses."
0:12:16 > 0:12:18And that one's really special.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26As the war dragged on, the armed forces were keen to experiment
0:12:26 > 0:12:32with alternative ways to enable fathers to keep in touch with loved ones back home.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Among them were a series of messages known as "Calling Blighty",
0:12:36 > 0:12:41which were filmed in India and the Far East and played at cinemas across the country.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Hello there.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Firstly, many happy returns of the day to Brenda.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Give her a big kiss from her daddy.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56I'm quite well and hoping to be home soon.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00I'm sure you're doing well over there judging by the mail I receive.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Give my love to Aunty Eve, Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Rog,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05all those who are interested.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I don't think it'll be very long before I'm catching the boat.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Keep your fingers crossed and smiling.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17Kay Chorley's father had been a butler in a large country house
0:13:17 > 0:13:22in Hertfordshire before he left home on her 7th birthday in 1939.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28In peacetime, they'd been devoted to one another so she found their separation hard to bear.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36Well, I longed for him every day. Every day.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40It was cruel because you...
0:13:40 > 0:13:46had a picture of him, but it was getting more and more faded.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51I couldn't remember how he walked or you couldn't remember
0:13:51 > 0:13:55what it felt like to be up on his shoulder or cuddled.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58All those things were precious, but...but they began to fade.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Then in 1943, Kay and her mother were told
0:14:04 > 0:14:08to expect a message from him broadcast over the radio from the Middle East.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15For a few seconds, he was back in the room with me.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18His voice, I'd forgotten what he sounded like.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23And I began to build up a picture of his face again,
0:14:23 > 0:14:30his blue eyes and his hair and everything, and he was almost in the room again.
0:14:32 > 0:14:39I can remember my mother and I both sat with the tears rolling down our faces.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43It was very emotional, very, very emotional.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50But not all messages brought good news.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54After the death of his daughter, Pamela, in the Blitz,
0:14:54 > 0:14:58Sonny Leigh volunteered for the Navy and went to sea as a stoker,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01at the height of the Battle of the Atlantic.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06At home in London, his wife Daisy was expecting another baby.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Well, the Petty Officer came up and said, "Leigh..."
0:15:09 > 0:15:15I was on duty in the boiler room. And he said, "Here's a telegram for you."
0:15:15 > 0:15:18And when I read it, it said "Daisy very ill, baby dead."
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I was numb, numb, really numb.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Daisy had had a miscarriage.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34But when Sonny asked the Petty Officer if he could take compassionate leave,
0:15:34 > 0:15:37he found there was little time for sympathy.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41He took the telegram and he went and saw the First Lieutenant.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46The Lieutenant went and saw the old man, so the Captain said "Tell him to get back on duty.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50"He may be dead himself in the next hour, the convoy's being attacked."
0:15:52 > 0:15:54And that's all there is to it,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58and course I couldn't cry because it hurt me so much.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05Before the war was over, Daisy would lose another baby in childbirth.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09The experience would have a devastating effect on Sonny.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15I seized up, I suppose. I don't know.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I was like a machine, just doing automatically.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I couldn't think straight.
0:16:25 > 0:16:31In Billinge, in 1942, Heather Burnley's mother received a telegram informing her that her husband
0:16:31 > 0:16:33had been captured by the Japanese.
0:16:36 > 0:16:44Over a quarter of around 50,000 British Servicemen taken prisoner in the Far East died in captivity,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47mostly from starvation, punishment or disease.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Heather's father couldn't know it, but at least the odds were in his favour.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56The statistics show that it was
0:16:56 > 0:17:00the married men in the prison camps, those men in their 20s and early 30s,
0:17:00 > 0:17:05who generally did better because they had some life experience behind them and had children,
0:17:05 > 0:17:09so they had something to look forward to, something to live for, something to go back to,
0:17:09 > 0:17:12and even though they hadn't been able to communicate with them
0:17:12 > 0:17:15because the Japanese wouldn't allow them to write letters,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18nevertheless some of them had kept diaries, they've written stuff
0:17:18 > 0:17:21so that they could have something to show their children later.
0:17:23 > 0:17:29Heather's father was imprisoned in Kuching Prisoner of War Camp in Borneo.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Against all the rules, he kept a journal in which
0:17:33 > 0:17:37he recorded the suffering he endured at the hands of his captors.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41It was only found after his death in 1992.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46"First of November, 1942.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48"There is an outbreak of dysentery in the camp
0:17:48 > 0:17:52"and today I find myself a victim.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57"So today I go to hospital and I've got to get over it somehow,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59"although they have no medicines,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01"as I've just got to get back to Wynn and Heather.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06"Two of the men died in the ward today
0:18:06 > 0:18:09"and two more are expected within the week.
0:18:09 > 0:18:14"When they are known to be hopeless cases they are put in a small adjoining room
0:18:14 > 0:18:18"known as 'the death cell', and left there to pass out.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23"Have been here three months now and still hanging on.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25"I mustn't let it beat me,
0:18:27 > 0:18:31"although I have to crawl on all fours to be able to move.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35"I've no strength left at all and a beard six inches long."
0:18:40 > 0:18:45It just brings tears to the eyes to think of this strong human being,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48nice man, cuddly man,
0:18:48 > 0:18:54reaching this state of being in a prison camp.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57It's just so very, very sad.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00SHE MOUTHS
0:19:02 > 0:19:05One of the greatest fears
0:19:05 > 0:19:08for men going into battle was the possibility of serious injury
0:19:08 > 0:19:13and the impact the disability would have on their prospects for family life.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19In 1944, Wilfred Copley was a 34-year-old sergeant
0:19:19 > 0:19:24in the Essex Regiment, preparing his platoon for the Normandy landings,
0:19:24 > 0:19:29while at home in London, his wife, Florence, was expecting their baby.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37On D-Day, Wilfred and his men landed on Sword Beach
0:19:37 > 0:19:40and in the days of fierce fighting that followed,
0:19:40 > 0:19:45he led his platoon in the advance towards the town of Caen.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47There's a crossroads and that's what we were fighting for.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55And this German tank, I see it come out of a siding.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58And it pointed the gun my way,
0:19:58 > 0:20:02along my road where I was, my platoon.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04And the next thing, it fired.
0:20:07 > 0:20:14All I knew, there was a kind of a blinding flash and I was out straight away, I was unconscious.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Wilfred received life-threatening injuries.
0:20:19 > 0:20:25His left leg was almost severed and he had terrible wounds to his neck, his back and his hand.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Still unconscious, he was given emergency treatment
0:20:29 > 0:20:32before being shipped back to Britain, where he was covered
0:20:32 > 0:20:35from head to toe in plaster cast.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38But he was determined to survive.
0:20:40 > 0:20:47I think it was by virtue of knowing that I was going to be a father
0:20:47 > 0:20:52that sort of gave me some added strength to live through it.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56I realised that...
0:20:56 > 0:20:59probably the worst was over...
0:20:59 > 0:21:02and I would live...
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I'd want to live...
0:21:04 > 0:21:09to welcome my child when I get well again.
0:21:11 > 0:21:18Whilst Wilfred lay seriously ill in hospital, his wife gave birth to their son, Michael.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Wilfred was desperate to see him, but gangrene had set into his wounds
0:21:22 > 0:21:27and, fearing infection, father and son were kept apart.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31It would be six months before Wilfred was allowed to meet his son
0:21:31 > 0:21:33for the first time.
0:21:35 > 0:21:40Unfortunately, I couldn't welcome him by cuddling him or anything like that
0:21:40 > 0:21:43because I was in this plaster cast
0:21:43 > 0:21:47from the neck down to my feet,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50and all they could do...
0:21:50 > 0:21:56was place him sat on top of the plaster cast
0:21:56 > 0:21:59facing me, looking at each other,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02and that's how we met for the first time.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06What a welcome(!)
0:22:07 > 0:22:11And immediately, soon as I see him, I knew he was my boy.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25In the months that followed the end of the war,
0:22:25 > 0:22:31there were many happy reunions as four million men were demobbed from the armed forces.
0:22:33 > 0:22:40After fighting in France and Holland, Cliff Shepherd returned home to his daughter in 1945.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44It was just marvellous.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48My legs were getting dizzy as I were getting near home.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50I think it was just the excitement.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54My daughter said, "Are you come on leave, Dad?"
0:22:54 > 0:22:59I said, "No," I said, "I'm not going back any more."
0:23:05 > 0:23:10She said, "Well, what will they say if you don't go back?" I said, "The war's finished."
0:23:10 > 0:23:16I says, "I'm stopping at home now, I'll be home with you always now."
0:23:17 > 0:23:22And we really enjoyed the life together then.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26When he left home in 1939,
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Cliff had made Thelma a promise, that he'd bring her home a doll.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35In the nine months that he carried her around France,
0:23:35 > 0:23:39she survived a few near misses, but Cliff was true to his word.
0:23:41 > 0:23:47And bringing it home was absolutely gorgeous, it were like Father Christmas give her this doll.
0:23:47 > 0:23:55And she were absolutely thrilled to bits with it and she still has it this day, just as new as ever.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03It was really, really special to have you home again, wasn't it?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Oh, it was just wonderful.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09We've got through everything else. We've had great, great times,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11and I love you so much.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Bless you, darling.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24At the end of 1945,
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Heather Burnley discovered that her father was alive.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Miraculously, he had survived the horrors
0:24:30 > 0:24:35of the Japanese Prisoner of War Camp and was at last on his way home.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39She hadn't seen him in over five years.
0:24:42 > 0:24:48When I knew my father was coming home, I was wildly excited.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52And when the ship docked, it was full of men
0:24:52 > 0:24:56going absolutely wild, shouting, waving.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01And I remember looking at all these men and picking out my father.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05And I said, "I've found him, I've found him."
0:25:07 > 0:25:10And he came to join us
0:25:10 > 0:25:13and he gave me a big hug,
0:25:13 > 0:25:18a long enduring one, and also to my mother,
0:25:18 > 0:25:23and I was asked or invited to sit on his knee.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27And, of course, suddenly this man was a stranger.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29I hadn't seen him for so many years.
0:25:29 > 0:25:36And although I knew it was my father, I felt a little shy, to put it mildly, but I did sit on his knee.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42This photograph, taken on the quayside, captured that moment.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50It was a little strange when sitting on his knee
0:25:50 > 0:25:57because I hadn't seen this man since I was a very little girl, and now I was eight years old.
0:25:58 > 0:26:05And so it must have been hard for a man who left his tender young family
0:26:05 > 0:26:09to come back and find that so many years had wrought the changes.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13And here was a skinny girl with pigtails,
0:26:13 > 0:26:15he probably didn't like pigtails.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19I don't know what he thought, but certainly he must have thought,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22"Gosh, I've got to come to terms with all of this."
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Although awkward, Heather's reunion with her father
0:26:30 > 0:26:33was a happy occasion.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35But despite what the newsreels suggest,
0:26:35 > 0:26:38not every reunion went so smoothly.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43It is estimated that when the war ended,
0:26:43 > 0:26:48as many as a million children under the age of six had never met their father.
0:26:48 > 0:26:54In these circumstances, the trauma of his homecoming could last for decades.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Janet White was born in Braintree in Essex in 1940.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08The youngest of four children, she was still only a baby
0:27:08 > 0:27:10when her father left to fight.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14In 1942,
0:27:14 > 0:27:17he was captured by the Italians while serving in the Middle East.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Here we've got some photographs.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26I like the ones that my mother sent to my father out in the camp.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30And this one is my sister,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Nancy, and myself.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Nancy was eight and I'm three.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38And this is the actual one that was sent to my father.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42It's addressed to Prisoner of War, Number One Camp, in Italy,
0:27:42 > 0:27:47with my mother's address on it as well, they had to have their addresses on everything.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52And evidently they took us to a studio to have these photographs done purely for my dad,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55but I can't remember having them done, because I was three years old
0:27:55 > 0:27:58and, you know, the memories are very scarce from that time.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Although Janet has no memory of this photograph being taken,
0:28:05 > 0:28:08the day of her father's return is one she will never forget.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Mum had said to us before we left for school,
0:28:13 > 0:28:18she said, "I've got a surprise for you this afternoon."
0:28:18 > 0:28:23And she said, "I'm going to come and meet you from school and I won't tell you about it till then."
0:28:23 > 0:28:26And she'd taken us to buy our favourite sweets,
0:28:26 > 0:28:31and I can remember mine were aniseed balls that changed colour as you sucked them.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34Then we started to go down for the railway station
0:28:34 > 0:28:37and we'd not got the slightest idea why.
0:28:37 > 0:28:42And then we saw all these men coming up from the train, the train had just come in,
0:28:42 > 0:28:45all these men in khaki coming up the road.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48And all of a sudden there was this man
0:28:48 > 0:28:51and he just threw his arms around my mum.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54And I just felt as if I was totally on the outside.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59I heard mum said something about, "It's your dad," or, "your daddy,"
0:28:59 > 0:29:04but I didn't know what a dad was, didn't know what a daddy was.
0:29:04 > 0:29:09And I didn't like him, he was a stranger and I didn't like him, I didn't want him.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11I just wanted to get away.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14So it was literally a shock.
0:29:14 > 0:29:19I was being taken out for a surprise that turned out to be my worst nightmare.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25For fathers returning home with the physical and mental scars of war,
0:29:25 > 0:29:30readjusting to normal family life could be a gruelling process.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33Resettlement Advice Centres were set up to help men
0:29:33 > 0:29:38with the practicalities of finding work, but for fathers recovering from serious injury,
0:29:38 > 0:29:40like Wilfred Copley,
0:29:40 > 0:29:44it was difficult to come to terms with the fact that, for a time at least,
0:29:44 > 0:29:46they could not be the main provider.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Those years between
0:29:51 > 0:29:53leaving hospital
0:29:53 > 0:29:55and getting home,
0:29:55 > 0:29:59and then afterwards, trying to find a job,
0:29:59 > 0:30:01was...
0:30:02 > 0:30:04..was a void really.
0:30:06 > 0:30:07It did affect me badly.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12I began to think of myself as worthless...
0:30:14 > 0:30:16..as no good for anything,
0:30:16 > 0:30:22because I couldn't provide as I wanted to for my family.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27My wife was mothering two, not one,
0:30:27 > 0:30:31mothering Michael and myself
0:30:31 > 0:30:35because of my condition, and that went on for two years.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43For those most severely traumatised by their war experiences,
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Emergency Medical Service Centres, like this one, were set up
0:30:46 > 0:30:51to provide the latest in psychological testing and treatment.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55NEWSREEL: From every point of view, a neurotic who has broken down is a liability.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00Treatment must therefore be carefully planned to restore each individual
0:31:00 > 0:31:03to maximum usefulness within his limitations.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06But for the thousands of prisoners of war
0:31:06 > 0:31:10who returned from the Far East to a Britain slowly recovering from war,
0:31:10 > 0:31:12there was often very little sympathy.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16What's interesting is that the men who came back from the Far East
0:31:16 > 0:31:21didn't come back until November 1945 and they were told by the army
0:31:21 > 0:31:23that they were not to talk about their experiences.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27And they came home and were simply expected to get on,
0:31:27 > 0:31:29and some of them couldn't.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32And what's very interesting is that it's quite clear
0:31:32 > 0:31:37that it was the younger men, who had had three-and-a-half years of their lives stolen from them,
0:31:37 > 0:31:42the men who were 19, 20 when they went abroad, who found it more difficult to adjust.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48Frank Davies from Salford was 24 when he returned to Britain
0:31:48 > 0:31:53after being held prisoner by the Japanese for three-and-a-half years.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55He wanted a wife and a family,
0:31:55 > 0:31:59but was too traumatised by his experiences to see any hope for the future.
0:32:01 > 0:32:07All my teeth had started to rot through lack of vitamins and calcium.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11My eyesight was affected with no shelter in the sun.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13I'd got a damaged ear...
0:32:13 > 0:32:16I was on malaria tablets,
0:32:16 > 0:32:19I was having nightmares,
0:32:19 > 0:32:21I were having panic attacks
0:32:21 > 0:32:26and you had to try and carry on with a normal life
0:32:26 > 0:32:28feeling the way you did.
0:32:28 > 0:32:32And some of my old comrades in England who'd never been out there
0:32:32 > 0:32:35had already married and had young children coming up,
0:32:35 > 0:32:39and there was me at the same age, felt like a freak.
0:32:39 > 0:32:44I thought who the hell's going to want to take up with me, the condition I was in.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Sonny Leigh had simply wanted to be a father,
0:32:50 > 0:32:53but during the course of the war,
0:32:53 > 0:32:57he and his wife Daisy had suffered the trauma of losing three babies.
0:32:57 > 0:33:03The pain was too much for Sonny to bear and he was admitted to a mental hospital.
0:33:03 > 0:33:10NEWSREEL: Electric convulsion therapy is reserved for depressions of the more endogenous type.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Loss of consciousness is immediate
0:33:14 > 0:33:17and the treatment leaves no unpleasant memories.
0:33:18 > 0:33:22I went in there and they gave me narcosis treatment,
0:33:22 > 0:33:24electrical shocks, medicine, everything.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29People there thought they was bomber pilots,
0:33:29 > 0:33:33they was coming down the ward as aeroplanes, religious maniacs.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40I watched three men walking round a flowerbed like that, round there,
0:33:40 > 0:33:44and a man took a packet of papers out and it blew away,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47and he's running round... And I thought to myself,
0:33:47 > 0:33:51"Sonny, you're not going to come to this, you're going to get out."
0:33:51 > 0:33:54And from that day, I made sure I got better.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56I wasn't going to be like that.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03After several months of treatment, Sonny did get better
0:34:03 > 0:34:05and he was able to leave the hospital.
0:34:05 > 0:34:10And although he and his wife agreed they would give up on their dream of having a family,
0:34:10 > 0:34:15in 1957, Daisy gave birth to their daughter, Linda.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24I saw Daisy and the baby, I could have jumped over the moon.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27I could have won the Olympics the way I felt.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Being a daddy made me king of the world, I was so happy.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38I had everything, I had a wonderful woman, a lovely child.
0:34:38 > 0:34:39What else did I want?
0:34:41 > 0:34:43And she's a wonderful girl.
0:34:48 > 0:34:53Sonny's story had a happy ending, but thousands of families failed
0:34:53 > 0:34:56in their efforts to readjust to life after the war.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00The years of separation had often brought too much change,
0:35:00 > 0:35:04and as a result, in the late 1940s, the divorce rate soared.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07It's very well recorded that the divorce rate
0:35:07 > 0:35:09after the Second World War escalated,
0:35:09 > 0:35:13and it reached 60,000 in 1947, which was an all-time high.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15And the really sad thing was
0:35:15 > 0:35:19that the divorces that happened after the Second World War were very often
0:35:19 > 0:35:21where simply two lives had grown apart,
0:35:21 > 0:35:24and for the children, it was very often tragic
0:35:24 > 0:35:27because they didn't understand why Daddy,
0:35:27 > 0:35:32who'd been revered during the war, had been celebrated, had written letters,
0:35:32 > 0:35:35came home and suddenly didn't want to live at home any more.
0:35:39 > 0:35:45In Hertfordshire, Kay Chorley's father had returned home from service after six years overseas.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48She was delighted to have him back,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51but it wasn't long before she found out
0:35:51 > 0:35:55that he had left home again, and this time for good.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I was at school doing an art exam.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59It's very clear in my memory.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02And the headmistress came in and said
0:36:02 > 0:36:05could she speak to me. And the teacher said yes.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09I went out, and she said, "I've just had a message from your mother,
0:36:09 > 0:36:15to say don't be surprised if you get a letter from your father
0:36:15 > 0:36:20from your aunt's in Ipswich, he's going to stay there for a while."
0:36:20 > 0:36:23And I thought, well, what's all that about?
0:36:23 > 0:36:28You know, it's very odd, cos I'd never ever heard them argue
0:36:28 > 0:36:31or row or even disagree about things really.
0:36:35 > 0:36:40My life was changed at that point, and I did wonder,
0:36:40 > 0:36:43have I done anything?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46What had I done?
0:36:46 > 0:36:50But I assume they were two different people.
0:36:50 > 0:36:54My mother had had to do everything
0:36:54 > 0:36:58and he had had a different life again.
0:37:00 > 0:37:05And I didn't see him for a few years after that, till I was about 18.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10But at least I did see him again,
0:37:10 > 0:37:16so he didn't end up out in Egypt in the grave somewhere.
0:37:19 > 0:37:24The post-war years saw a baby boom in Britain,
0:37:24 > 0:37:27but the country remained dominated by austerity.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Rationing continued well into the 1950s,
0:37:30 > 0:37:33and in towns and cities across the land,
0:37:33 > 0:37:36children played on bomb sites, these improvised playgrounds,
0:37:36 > 0:37:41the last remnants of the 500,000 homes destroyed in the Blitz.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47With so much destruction, there was a nationwide housing crisis,
0:37:47 > 0:37:50and many newlyweds faced an unenviable choice
0:37:50 > 0:37:55between slum housing and sharing a home with their in-laws.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00This shortage of housing put great pressure on young fathers,
0:38:00 > 0:38:04who found themselves unable to fulfil the basic paternal role
0:38:04 > 0:38:08of providing decent accommodation for their children.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12David Ritchie and his wife Rhoda lived in Dundee.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15When I came out of the army
0:38:15 > 0:38:18and I was setting up a home,
0:38:18 > 0:38:21Rhoda and I were married and there was no possibility
0:38:21 > 0:38:24of my living with my parents
0:38:24 > 0:38:29because my parents had two rooms with an outside toilet
0:38:29 > 0:38:32and three grown-up children.
0:38:33 > 0:38:37And to try to get a house was impossible.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40I went down to Dundee Corporation, to the council,
0:38:40 > 0:38:43and asked if I could put my name down for a house,
0:38:43 > 0:38:48or our names down for a house, and "Certainly," they took it all down.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50"Married?" "Yes." And I said,
0:38:50 > 0:38:55"Now, when do you think I could look forward to perhaps getting a house?"
0:38:55 > 0:38:58He says, "Well, at the present time, where you are,
0:38:58 > 0:39:01"come back in 15 years and we'll see how we're getting on."
0:39:01 > 0:39:04He says "I couldn't even promise you one then."
0:39:08 > 0:39:12Part of the solution was the creation of new towns,
0:39:12 > 0:39:17like Stevenage, Basildon, and importantly for David Ritchie, Glenrothes.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23In the heart of Fife, work on
0:39:23 > 0:39:28new housing for over 30,000 people began in Glenrothes in 1948,
0:39:28 > 0:39:34and by the early 1950s, David and Rhoda had moved into their dream home.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40It was fairyland! I couldn't believe it!
0:39:40 > 0:39:43We couldn't really believe it.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Lounge, big kitchen that you could eat in,
0:39:49 > 0:39:53bathroom, garden back and front.
0:39:55 > 0:40:00Ach, I think it was the best time in my life.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03It really was the best time in my life,
0:40:03 > 0:40:06coming to that place, it was really great.
0:40:07 > 0:40:12Nicknamed "Nappy Valley", Glenrothes quickly became
0:40:12 > 0:40:15the ideal place for young fathers like David to raise a family.
0:40:18 > 0:40:19People next door to us had seven,
0:40:19 > 0:40:24we had four, there were three next door to us on the other side,
0:40:24 > 0:40:28and five on the end, and that was quite common, that was the norm.
0:40:28 > 0:40:33We-We-We loved the children, the children were our life.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38But they always had something to do.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42They were out, they were playing down the bank, in the burn,
0:40:42 > 0:40:45up in the play park, this was it.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49They didn't have to be at home to play.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52They were out most of the time and it was marvellous.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55I think they had a wonderful life.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02These were the "never had it so good" years, of modernity,
0:41:02 > 0:41:06domesticity, and happy, stable marriages.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11This was the Britain the country's fathers had fought for.
0:41:19 > 0:41:25Ex-prisoner of war Frank Davies found that his worries about the future were in the end unfounded
0:41:25 > 0:41:28when he married Joan, a girl he'd met at work.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34In 1953, Joan gave birth to their daughter Val,
0:41:34 > 0:41:36and Frank quickly discovered
0:41:36 > 0:41:40that, ironically, his experiences as a prisoner of war
0:41:40 > 0:41:43had left him with many of the skills he needed to cope with
0:41:43 > 0:41:45the responsibilities of fatherhood.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49I used to enjoy all the little tasks
0:41:49 > 0:41:53that in those days wasn't considered manly.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57Things like changing nappies and giving 'em baths
0:41:57 > 0:42:01and letting 'em, helping them on the potties and things like that,
0:42:01 > 0:42:03there was no problem for me
0:42:03 > 0:42:06because we'd done all this for our comrades.
0:42:06 > 0:42:10They'd done it for me, I'd do it for them in the prison camps.
0:42:10 > 0:42:11When blokes have dysentery,
0:42:11 > 0:42:17they're having to relieve themselves a couple of dozen times a day
0:42:17 > 0:42:20and it's blood and mucus and God knows what.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24Er...things like changing a nappy's nothing.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29By the 1950s, many fathers were happy
0:42:29 > 0:42:32to get involved in the care of their young children at home.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36But in some places, there was still a certain stigma
0:42:36 > 0:42:39attached to fathers seen looking after their children in public.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Where I lived, in Salford, you know,
0:42:44 > 0:42:47it was a real man's world as they called it
0:42:47 > 0:42:50and everybody thought men were tough
0:42:50 > 0:42:53and women had to know their place in life
0:42:53 > 0:42:57and I used to think nothing
0:42:57 > 0:43:01of taking my daughter out in the pram or for a walk
0:43:01 > 0:43:04and blokes would be looking at you as if to say,
0:43:04 > 0:43:08he looks a bit of a Mary-Ann as they used to call it then,
0:43:08 > 0:43:11and it didn't affect me at all, it didn't.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13I didn't look upon it like that.
0:43:16 > 0:43:21Being a father had a profound effect on Frank, and finally helped him
0:43:21 > 0:43:25to banish the terrible memories he carried from the war.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29And I got...suddenly felt that
0:43:29 > 0:43:32all this was...helped me to...
0:43:32 > 0:43:36get rid of the feelings that I'd had before of the...
0:43:36 > 0:43:42that were left behind, the horrors of the terrible days of the prison camps.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45You know, you felt really uplifted.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48You'd left all that behind you,
0:43:48 > 0:43:54you were starting a new life with this...new person
0:43:54 > 0:43:56and it was all worthwhile.
0:43:56 > 0:44:02But just when the generation of fathers who had lived through the war finally felt
0:44:02 > 0:44:05that life was regaining some sense of normality,
0:44:05 > 0:44:09a new phenomenon appeared in households up and down the country -
0:44:09 > 0:44:13one which would seek to undermine a dad's place as head of the household -
0:44:13 > 0:44:16they were called teenagers.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19# You shake my nerves And you rattle my brain
0:44:19 > 0:44:22# Too much love drives a man insane
0:44:23 > 0:44:26# You broke my will Oh, what a thrill
0:44:26 > 0:44:29# Goodness gracious Great balls of fire... #
0:44:29 > 0:44:32The new idea of teenagers began
0:44:32 > 0:44:36with the emergence of the Beatniks and Teddy Boys in the early 1950s.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40On street corners, in coffee bars and in jazz clubs up and down the country,
0:44:40 > 0:44:44there was a revolution in music, fashion and idealism
0:44:44 > 0:44:48as the young turned their backs on the old way of life.
0:44:48 > 0:44:52In their search for identity and self expression,
0:44:52 > 0:44:57the new teenage rebels questioned all that the previous generation believed in,
0:44:57 > 0:45:01and all that their fathers had fought so hard to defend.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03JAZZ MUSIC
0:45:06 > 0:45:08For the fathers who had come back from the war
0:45:08 > 0:45:11and had adjusted to life back in Britain,
0:45:11 > 0:45:15and who had really begun to enjoy the simple pleasures of life,
0:45:15 > 0:45:17suddenly, that their teenage children were turning round
0:45:17 > 0:45:21and rebelling against them was a shock, and one in the eye for them
0:45:21 > 0:45:24because they, in some ways, even if subconsciously,
0:45:24 > 0:45:28felt they'd made the world a safer place through the sacrifice
0:45:28 > 0:45:30they'd made in the Second World War.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32What you ended up with of course is
0:45:32 > 0:45:36terrible clashes of personality between fathers and children
0:45:36 > 0:45:39because the fathers still wanted control over the children
0:45:39 > 0:45:43and their children felt that they didn't owe their fathers anything.
0:45:45 > 0:45:49Peter Lambert was born in Birmingham in 1940.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53His father was a welder who spent his evenings in the local pub,
0:45:53 > 0:45:55or asleep in his favourite armchair.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00As a teenager, it was a lifestyle that Peter would violently reject.
0:46:02 > 0:46:06I didn't want to be like him because I didn't want any of that.
0:46:06 > 0:46:11I wanted, like, to be... out with my mates.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13I wanted to dress how I wanted to dress,
0:46:14 > 0:46:17not how he wanted me to dress.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20I wanted long hair.
0:46:20 > 0:46:24I wanted these, sideburns, I wanted to be me.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29I wanted to be the business,
0:46:29 > 0:46:34which was, at the time, was, in the '50s, was the Teddy Boys.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36I wanted to be one of them
0:46:36 > 0:46:40and he didn't want me to be...
0:46:40 > 0:46:41and the more he didn't want me to be,
0:46:41 > 0:46:44the more I wanted to be and the more I would be.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50Nobody could touch me, not even my dad,
0:46:50 > 0:46:55and I got to the stage where I sort of turned on him.
0:47:04 > 0:47:08And then it ended up like we're rowing
0:47:08 > 0:47:13and I ended up smashing a milk bottle on the fireplace
0:47:13 > 0:47:16and holding it up to him.
0:47:16 > 0:47:20It stunned him so much probably to think that
0:47:20 > 0:47:23his own son could do something like that.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Hoping to keep him out of trouble,
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Peter's father sent him away to live with his grandmother.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34But it wasn't long before Peter was back with his gang.
0:47:34 > 0:47:40Father and son would barely speak to one another for the next 25 years.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49In Essex, Janet White had also become a teenager,
0:47:49 > 0:47:53and was having similar problems with her father.
0:47:53 > 0:47:57More than ten years had passed since his return from the war,
0:47:57 > 0:48:01but the distance Janet had felt at his homecoming had not diminished.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03He was often strict about her going out,
0:48:03 > 0:48:06and worried about her forming friendships
0:48:06 > 0:48:10with the American servicemen who still had a base in town.
0:48:12 > 0:48:14# Too late
0:48:14 > 0:48:20# For me to ask the reason why... #
0:48:20 > 0:48:23When I was a teenager, I wanted to go dancing with my friends
0:48:23 > 0:48:27and he wasn't very keen, and one occasion I really remember
0:48:27 > 0:48:31because it made me believe he didn't trust me at all.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33I just felt, he doesn't trust me, he doesn't know me,
0:48:33 > 0:48:36his own daughter and he doesn't even know me.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Cos he came in, it was the following morning I'd got up,
0:48:39 > 0:48:43"What were you doing round the town last night talking to Americans?"
0:48:43 > 0:48:44I said, "What?"
0:48:44 > 0:48:49He said, "I saw you. Don't you tell me you didn't, cos I saw you with my own eyes."
0:48:49 > 0:48:53I said, "I'm sorry, Dad, you don't even know your own daughter."
0:48:57 > 0:49:03It really hurt that I felt he didn't trust me, you know, that there was no trust there.
0:49:03 > 0:49:05It was a very difficult thing, you know?
0:49:07 > 0:49:12But I also acknowledge now that a lot of that was my fault.
0:49:12 > 0:49:16It was my fault because I had resented him from day one,
0:49:16 > 0:49:18I hadn't really wanted him there
0:49:18 > 0:49:23and my mum told me after he died, she said many times he sat and cried,
0:49:23 > 0:49:28many's the time he sat and cried because he just felt,
0:49:28 > 0:49:33as much as he tried, and I know he did try in his own way...
0:49:33 > 0:49:37he just couldn't get through. Neither of us in a way could bridge that gap.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40I suppose I was young and thought I knew better at the time.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42I just...I just don't know what it was.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48Keen to escape their father's rule in the family home,
0:49:48 > 0:49:52many teenagers of the 1950s married young,
0:49:52 > 0:49:56and by the '60s had become parents themselves.
0:49:59 > 0:50:04After a series of petty crimes, Teddy Boy Peter Lambert ended up in prison.
0:50:04 > 0:50:09It was an experience that for while set him on the straight and narrow.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13In 1966, he married his girlfriend, Judith,
0:50:13 > 0:50:17although they had to elope to Gretna Green
0:50:17 > 0:50:21after her parents disapproved of their courtship.
0:50:21 > 0:50:28Then, in April 1967, Peter became a father to daughter, Debbie.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32# Take my hand, little girl
0:50:32 > 0:50:37# And we'll go through life together... #
0:50:37 > 0:50:41I used to look forward to coming home from work to see my little girl.
0:50:41 > 0:50:46I was proud to be her dad, you know? She was a lovely little girl.
0:50:46 > 0:50:51I used to rock her in this little rocking thing that she had, you know?
0:50:51 > 0:50:56So take her down the rec where the little swings are, you know?
0:51:02 > 0:51:04I just wanted to be normal.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Normal dad, go to work, earn my wages.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13Being a rebel...then, at that particular time,
0:51:13 > 0:51:16was sort of fading out a bit.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19I was more interested in being a dad.
0:51:19 > 0:51:23And I used to love going out and pushing the pram.
0:51:23 > 0:51:24I'd do it cos I wanted to do it.
0:51:26 > 0:51:31By the late '60s, many of Britain's young fathers were able to provide
0:51:31 > 0:51:33for their children as never before.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36They had more money, better housing
0:51:36 > 0:51:41and a brighter future than their own fathers could have dreamed of.
0:51:41 > 0:51:45But for some of those who'd grown up with a rebellious streak,
0:51:45 > 0:51:48domestic bliss just wasn't enough.
0:51:51 > 0:51:56After several years of marriage, and the birth of a son, David,
0:51:56 > 0:51:59Peter Lambert started to go back out with his old gang.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Working away for much of the week
0:52:01 > 0:52:04and drinking with friends when he was back,
0:52:04 > 0:52:06it wasn't long before his marriage fell apart
0:52:06 > 0:52:09and he lost contact with his children.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13And although Peter took responsibility for the break up,
0:52:13 > 0:52:16it still upset him deeply.
0:52:16 > 0:52:20Well, I used to go for a drink, back then, I used to go for a drink
0:52:20 > 0:52:23and I'd get a few drinks in me and I'd start crying.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Wondering what my kids were doing.
0:52:26 > 0:52:30Where they are, what they're like.
0:52:32 > 0:52:36I used to wonder, drowning in self-pity, if you like,
0:52:36 > 0:52:38you know, why's this happening to me?
0:52:38 > 0:52:42But I'd brought it on myself, you know what I'm saying?
0:52:42 > 0:52:46It wasn't the ex-wife's fault, it wasn't the children's fault,
0:52:46 > 0:52:52it was mine, but there I was, sitting on buses coming home from the pub,
0:52:52 > 0:52:55crying my eyes out because of my kids.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Not only had Peter lost his children,
0:53:00 > 0:53:04he'd also lost contact with his own father.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08And, like many of his generation, it wasn't until he got older
0:53:08 > 0:53:11that he began to question his past.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14Men and women, now in their retirement age,
0:53:14 > 0:53:17are looking back at what their fathers did for them
0:53:17 > 0:53:19and actually are beginning to appreciate it,
0:53:19 > 0:53:22and the number of people that one hears saying,
0:53:22 > 0:53:24"I wish I'd understood my father better.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26"I wish I'd asked him more questions.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30"I wish I'd shown more interest in his life during the war"
0:53:30 > 0:53:33is very sad, so it's not too late now
0:53:33 > 0:53:37if your father is still alive, but sadly many of them are not.
0:53:39 > 0:53:44In 1983, 25 years after leaving his childhood home,
0:53:44 > 0:53:48Peter arranged to meet up with his father.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50They spent the weekend together,
0:53:50 > 0:53:54and when Peter left, they vowed to make it a regular event.
0:53:54 > 0:53:58Two weeks later, Peter's father passed away.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06You know, I'm looking forward to when I was going to see him again,
0:54:06 > 0:54:10I was gonna tell him this, things that we hadn't spoke about
0:54:10 > 0:54:14and I was gonna talk about stuff that we'd missed out on, and...
0:54:21 > 0:54:22Crazy, innit?
0:54:26 > 0:54:31And then, like...you can't do it then, you can't tell him.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39And you think to yourself,
0:54:39 > 0:54:42"Ooh, why didn't I say it when I saw him, why didn't I say this,
0:54:42 > 0:54:44"why didn't I say that?"
0:54:50 > 0:54:54You live and learn, don't you?
0:54:58 > 0:55:03Peter has now been married three times, and has seven children.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08Over the years, and particularly after the death of his own father,
0:55:08 > 0:55:14he'd thought often about Debbie and David, the two children from his first marriage.
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Finally he decided to search for them.
0:55:17 > 0:55:23And in 2003, 30 years after they were separated, he found them.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27We can't change the past,
0:55:27 > 0:55:30but we can try and make things better in the future.
0:55:30 > 0:55:35You know, I just love life now, I love life, I'm just...
0:55:35 > 0:55:39I'm just happy and I'm grateful for every day.
0:55:39 > 0:55:45I'm not sure whether I deserve it really cos I've been a bit of a rascal, you know,
0:55:45 > 0:55:48but it's just great and I'm just enjoying life, you know?
0:55:48 > 0:55:50I wouldn't change it for the world.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53I don't think so, you know what I mean?
0:55:57 > 0:56:02Throughout her life, Janet White was never able to bond with her father.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06The repercussions from that first fateful meeting
0:56:06 > 0:56:10on the railway platform lasting until his death in 1971.
0:56:10 > 0:56:16Like so many war veterans, he'd never spoken about his experiences,
0:56:16 > 0:56:20and it wasn't until 1996, long after his death,
0:56:20 > 0:56:25that Janet found the diaries he'd written during his time in captivity.
0:56:26 > 0:56:30Reading his words, she began to understand
0:56:30 > 0:56:32all that he'd been through as a prisoner,
0:56:32 > 0:56:36and finally discovered just what she'd meant to him
0:56:36 > 0:56:38all those years before.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42"It'll be grand just to receive some letters from home.
0:56:42 > 0:56:47"Everything seems to have stopped at once, no mail, no food, no fags.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49"Roll on those blue clouds.
0:56:49 > 0:56:55"Spend a lot of time these bad days planning all sorts of things for when we get back.
0:56:55 > 0:56:58"It's going to be rather strange to go back to one's family all grown up
0:56:58 > 0:57:02"and to feel almost like a stranger amongst your own family,
0:57:02 > 0:57:04"but we'll soon sort that out, I have no doubt.
0:57:06 > 0:57:09"I don't suppose that they have forgotten their dad
0:57:09 > 0:57:13"except for the youngest, Janet, who cannot remember me,
0:57:13 > 0:57:16"she being too young when I left her.
0:57:16 > 0:57:20"But the wife tells me in her letters that she's always talking about Daddy,
0:57:20 > 0:57:24"and I expect in her little mind she has made up a picture of what her daddy should look like.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27"I hope sincerely that I shall not disappoint her.
0:57:27 > 0:57:31"I only know I'm longing to be with them all again."
0:57:33 > 0:57:36To think that he was actually thinking about me
0:57:36 > 0:57:39when he was stuck in a prisoner-of-war camp.
0:57:39 > 0:57:44Even now I can say, "Oh, Dad, if only you'd let us have those books earlier."
0:57:44 > 0:57:49If I could have been given those books to read, we may have healed that breach before he died.
0:57:54 > 0:57:58If my dad was alive today I think I'd just want to tell him I understand
0:57:58 > 0:58:02and I'm sorry it took so long, but it was too late,
0:58:02 > 0:58:05it's much too late for both of us,
0:58:05 > 0:58:08and I just wish the war had never ever happened.
0:58:10 > 0:58:11Yeah.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20Next time, sex, divorce and the rise of feminism
0:58:20 > 0:58:24present new challenges for Britain's fathers.
0:58:39 > 0:58:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:42 > 0:58:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk