Episode 2

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09I see you there!

0:00:10 > 0:00:13This is the story of seven children in Northern Ireland

0:00:13 > 0:00:16who cannot live with their birth families.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19My birth parents, I've seen them recently, but...

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Yeah, I don't really have words.

0:00:23 > 0:00:27They all want one thing - a secure, loving home.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31Family doesn't mean blood to me.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36They are among the thousands of children in Northern Ireland

0:00:36 > 0:00:38who are in the temporary care of the state.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41I need to find these children a home

0:00:41 > 0:00:44which is better than the one they're in now.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47As a result of their early experiences,

0:00:47 > 0:00:50these children have complex needs.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52She's 15 months behind.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55She doesn't have the most comprehendible speech.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58She may not get past P2 in mainstream school.

0:00:58 > 0:01:03Finding them a permanent home is a long, tough process.

0:01:03 > 0:01:0514 months we've been searching for carers for Angel,

0:01:05 > 0:01:08so we've got to make sure that whoever is going to take her on

0:01:08 > 0:01:11that they know exactly the care needs she's going to have.

0:01:11 > 0:01:16Even when they find a family, they bring their past with them.

0:01:16 > 0:01:20Children have to adapt to this notion that they have been chosen

0:01:20 > 0:01:22on the one hand, but on the other hand

0:01:22 > 0:01:26they have been given up by their birth family, and that's not easy.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Today in Northern Ireland, there are nearly 3,000 children

0:01:39 > 0:01:40looked after by the state.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51Sharon Lynn-Mcgregor runs a team of social workers

0:01:51 > 0:01:54with 70 children in their care.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58This section here are all children classified as a child in need.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02They may be in the process of coming into care.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Some of these kids can have three files, seven files.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06I mean, I have a lot of kids,

0:02:06 > 0:02:09especially ones approaching 15, 16, can have 7, 8, 10 files.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12You know, the history of their wee lives

0:02:12 > 0:02:15from when social workers became involved.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18Sharon needs to find them all permanent homes,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21either through long-term fostering or adoption.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25I want all of my children that I work with to have a family.

0:02:25 > 0:02:26I want them to be loved.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28I want them to be fully integrated

0:02:28 > 0:02:31the way my children are fully integrated into my family.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34And it's very difficult when you can't find that.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38I want to lift Angel's file, actually.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44Angel is four years old. She is living in a temporary foster home.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Nobody wants to separate children from their parents,

0:02:48 > 0:02:51however, there are occasions when it really needs to be done.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53And this was one of them.

0:02:55 > 0:02:56Hello!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Angel was taken into care aged two.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05She had suffered chronic neglect.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08The foster carer very clearly recorded how her fingernails

0:03:08 > 0:03:12and her toenails were all curled over, they were dirty.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14She bathed her immediately

0:03:14 > 0:03:17and she slept the clock round for three days.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21A number of adopters have been approached about Angel

0:03:21 > 0:03:25but they've all turned her down because of her learning difficulties.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27The older Angel gets,

0:03:27 > 0:03:30the harder it will be for her to adapt to a new home.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36After 14 months of searching, Sharon knows time is running out.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43The normal adoption process hasn't worked for Angel,

0:03:43 > 0:03:47so Sharon and her team are trying another option.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49I thought we could pin them up and show, like, what size she is,

0:03:49 > 0:03:52- relatively.- Yeah, just gives them a good idea...

0:03:52 > 0:03:55There is to be an adoption open day, where profiles

0:03:55 > 0:03:59of children who cannot find a home are shown to prospective adopters.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02At the end of the day she's just a wee girl

0:04:02 > 0:04:04and she just needs a mummy and daddy the way everyone else needs

0:04:04 > 0:04:07a mummy and daddy, and that's really what we're seeking to do.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Sharon and Lauren have a few hours to set up their stand

0:04:12 > 0:04:14before the adopters arrive.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20- What you think, one big photo here?- Mm.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Today, up to 45 couples from across Northern Ireland

0:04:23 > 0:04:26will see Angel's profile.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30We have so many children coming through

0:04:30 > 0:04:32with developmental uncertainty.

0:04:32 > 0:04:36And we need special people who can see past the labels

0:04:36 > 0:04:38that are given to them.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39- Look at her wee teeth.- I know.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41You can still see the decay on her teeth.

0:04:43 > 0:04:48She is 15 months behind. She doesn't have the most comprehensible speech.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51She may not get past P2 in mainstream school.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54But she's got the most beautiful smile.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56She just wants to engage with people

0:04:56 > 0:04:59and we've got to help them see those attributes.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07Sharon knows that children with complex needs are hard to place.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09She's not optimistic today.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13- Do you think you're going to find anybody?- Um...

0:05:13 > 0:05:15I think, realistically, no.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24Only 72 children were adopted in Northern Ireland last year.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Ten-year-old William is one of the lucky ones.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Like Angel, he was taken into care.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37He's been adopted by Colin and Christina McFarland.

0:05:38 > 0:05:44From birth, William was only with the birth mother for a very,

0:05:44 > 0:05:47very brief period of time.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Only maybe a few weeks.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53And then William had a short time in hospital,

0:05:53 > 0:05:56and after that William went straight into care.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00William lived with temporary foster carers until he was two.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04He then moved to the McFarlands', who started the adoption process.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09This is where we keep William's memory box and photographs

0:06:09 > 0:06:14that came with him when he moved from the foster carers.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20This is a file, bits and pieces of William.

0:06:20 > 0:06:26There's an album that the foster carer put together for us

0:06:26 > 0:06:30with photographs prior to William coming to us. William?

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Aw, look at that wee face!

0:06:35 > 0:06:38We missed all them years, didn't we?

0:06:38 > 0:06:42It took three years for William's adoption to go through the courts,

0:06:42 > 0:06:45as his birth parents fought to keep him.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47We didn't think that it was going to take that long

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- for the adoption to go through.- No.

0:06:50 > 0:06:55But I suppose the birth parents had their view as well,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57and that was listened to an awful lot.

0:06:57 > 0:07:03But, thankfully, that day when we heard that, you know,

0:07:03 > 0:07:07enough was enough, William was going to court and we were going to be

0:07:07 > 0:07:11his adoptive parents, was a very exciting day.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15- Aw, there's you ready for bed. - I always do that.

0:07:15 > 0:07:16CHRISTINA LAUGHS

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Oh, that is so cute.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22- We never introduce William as our adopted son.- No.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27Never, ever would that come into our mind. He is just William.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Some people say, "Do you have any children?"

0:07:29 > 0:07:32"Yes, we have William." And that's where it stops.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Um, that there is my adoption day certificate.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41I got this when I was adopted

0:07:41 > 0:07:48and it confirms that I'm part of a proper family now,

0:07:48 > 0:07:51because I can lead a proper family life

0:07:51 > 0:07:55and not be going between families in, like, foster care.

0:07:56 > 0:08:00My birth mum and dad didn't know how to look after me.

0:08:00 > 0:08:05The way you're supposed to feed a baby after four hours,

0:08:05 > 0:08:07every four hours, and...

0:08:07 > 0:08:10they didn't do that, they just left me to sleep.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16That's when social services got involved and they moved me,

0:08:16 > 0:08:20and whenever I got to a foster carer I had to be fed every two hours.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24It makes me feel a bit odd because everyone else is living

0:08:24 > 0:08:27a normal, straight-through life, while me, I have been moving...

0:08:27 > 0:08:31It's kind of like a piece of paper, but like a piece of wood,

0:08:31 > 0:08:35and every other people's is just smooth wood and, like, mine

0:08:35 > 0:08:39has just been chopped with an axe a wee bit, like, scuffed. Um...

0:08:39 > 0:08:45So that's how it really makes me feel. That's how I describe it.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Nearly from day one when William came to us,

0:08:47 > 0:08:50he started to talk about a sibling.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54I started praying and, as a family,

0:08:54 > 0:08:57we feel we have enough love to give for another child.

0:08:57 > 0:09:02And I think for William to grow up to have a sibling is good.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08The McFarlands are waiting for social workers

0:09:08 > 0:09:10to match them with a second child.

0:09:14 > 0:09:19As part of this process, they've been invited to the adoption open day.

0:09:22 > 0:09:27It's quite sad that children have to come to an open day like this

0:09:27 > 0:09:29and be on display.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32But obviously they need a mummy and daddy.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34It could be us.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I can see two social workers

0:09:37 > 0:09:44and you see a lot of potential parents going in and coming out.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Everybody here is in the same boat.

0:09:46 > 0:09:51Everybody here is looking for a child.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Colin and Christina are just one of many prospective

0:09:55 > 0:09:57adoptive couples here today.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Whenever we come to a profiling day, we are all very conscious

0:10:01 > 0:10:05that there is a perception that we are selling children.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11If this sometimes is what it takes to find that special person,

0:10:11 > 0:10:13then I think we do have to challenge ourselves, even though

0:10:13 > 0:10:15we may feel uncomfortable with it.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19It's been a long day for Sharon and her team.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23For the McFarlands, there's been an unexpected outcome.

0:10:23 > 0:10:28We came in with really no expectations other than for us

0:10:28 > 0:10:32to have our name out there, so people would know,

0:10:32 > 0:10:35so the different agencies within the trust would know,

0:10:35 > 0:10:39but not expecting any in any shape or form to be

0:10:39 > 0:10:43excited about the potential of this little girl.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49We came in and we registered

0:10:49 > 0:10:53and then we were advised to go watch a movie of all the children.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54Good girl!

0:10:55 > 0:11:00And it was this one little girl who we just were drawn to.

0:11:01 > 0:11:07And we were just taken in by this little face. She's just beautiful.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12And as we believe she would fit so well into our family,

0:11:12 > 0:11:14and taking William into consideration.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17It's just a wonderful feeling, overwhelming.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Her husband just said, "I think this is the child for us."

0:11:21 > 0:11:24And then he said, "Can we say that?"

0:11:24 > 0:11:25SHE CHUCKLES

0:11:25 > 0:11:27It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30They just connected with that child.

0:11:30 > 0:11:35And you could just see in their face that they had seen their child.

0:11:37 > 0:11:42After 14 months of searching, could the McFarlands be Angel's new family?

0:11:48 > 0:11:49Across Northern Ireland,

0:11:49 > 0:11:52children entering the care system for the first time

0:11:52 > 0:11:56begin their journey in fostering with social workers like Grainne Nelson.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02A lot of our children that we would work with come from poverty.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06They come from deprivation and they come from families

0:12:06 > 0:12:09where their parents can't really make appropriate choices

0:12:09 > 0:12:13about their own finances, about what they want to do,

0:12:13 > 0:12:17what they won't want to do, in terms of money. A lot of drugs, alcohol,

0:12:17 > 0:12:22some domestic violence, a lot of mental health. Some physical health.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26So it's almost a perfect storm for a lot of these children.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Grainne works for one of the fostering teams

0:12:36 > 0:12:39in Belfast Health and Social Care Trust.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43Social workers here manage more than 350 foster carers.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46They match these carers with the children

0:12:46 > 0:12:48coming into the care of the state.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50He's a lovely ten-year-old boy.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52He can at times find it difficult to hug,

0:12:52 > 0:12:55but he's becoming more open about his feelings.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Grainne's job is to coordinate finding homes for these children.

0:13:01 > 0:13:06We have lots of planes and there are children in various different

0:13:06 > 0:13:09holding patterns and not enough runways to put them on.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11His care plan is long-term,

0:13:11 > 0:13:13there's no way about...at all.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19'We need to take all the features of a child,

0:13:19 > 0:13:23'all their matching considerations,'

0:13:23 > 0:13:25and match it perfectly to

0:13:25 > 0:13:28a carer sitting waiting with open arms to take them.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31That rarely happens.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34- There's six kids.- Yeah, yeah.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36This is not good. It's six kids.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39I think we're going to need to do the six kids

0:13:39 > 0:13:41before we do your own list.

0:13:41 > 0:13:42- Six?!- Six.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46So all those previous discussions for all those other children

0:13:46 > 0:13:47are literally put on ice.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50A family of six children was taken into care over the weekend

0:13:50 > 0:13:55and now short-term foster carers are needed for all of them.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59The ambulance was called and a baby was removed on Friday.

0:13:59 > 0:14:00Their priority is to try

0:14:00 > 0:14:04and keep as many of the siblings together as possible.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Do you think this might be a good option for the girls?

0:14:07 > 0:14:08Two of the girls.

0:14:08 > 0:14:12My memory is that she has enough room for three children.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Three is OK.- To place them?- Yeah.

0:14:15 > 0:14:20There's a limited pool of emergency carers to call on.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Let's work on the premise we've no carers.

0:14:22 > 0:14:27- Isn't nobody over east? - No, there's not at the minute.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30It says it's an emergency. It really is an emergency.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34There is no choice but to separate the children and put them into

0:14:34 > 0:14:38temporary foster care while a plan is agreed for the long-term future.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41We struggle to place siblings

0:14:41 > 0:14:45because there's very few of our carers... They will have free beds,

0:14:45 > 0:14:48but they'll not have two free beds or three.

0:14:48 > 0:14:53And we do have big sibling groups of five, six.

0:14:53 > 0:14:57A couple of summers ago we had ten. So...

0:14:57 > 0:15:01And then you have to enter into discussion with fieldwork

0:15:01 > 0:15:03about which children we place together,

0:15:03 > 0:15:05and that's a hard conversation to have.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Social workers strive to keep brothers and sisters

0:15:14 > 0:15:17together in care, but there aren't enough carers able to

0:15:17 > 0:15:19accommodate big family groups.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Where are those cards?

0:15:27 > 0:15:28Eh...

0:15:28 > 0:15:32These four children were split up when they first came into care.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Choose a number between one and six, and say it out loud.

0:15:39 > 0:15:43Angel-Leigh, Ashton, Mya and Abigail were separated into

0:15:43 > 0:15:47two foster homes, and lived apart for almost two years.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49But Jacki and Paul are their new foster parents

0:15:49 > 0:15:51and want to adopt them.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Did you...?- Yes, it is!

0:15:53 > 0:15:55LAUGHTER

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- Oh, wow! - Thank you, thank you, bye!

0:15:57 > 0:16:01- Excellent, Angel. - Good job, great magician.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05I think now, looking at it, thinking they could have grown up separately,

0:16:05 > 0:16:09just... It just doesn't even seem bearable.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- OK.- That's your card.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Adoption, primarily, is not about this couple who cannot have

0:16:14 > 0:16:18their own children fulfilling the role of being a mum and a dad.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22Yes, that gets fulfilled, but in very much a secondary role.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26Primarily, it's all about that child...having permanence

0:16:26 > 0:16:30and finding security and stability in their life.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32For maybe the first time ever.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Jacki and Paul have had years of experience

0:16:35 > 0:16:38working with traumatised children in South Africa,

0:16:38 > 0:16:40and always wanted a big family.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45It's not just having four... little people in your house,

0:16:45 > 0:16:49it's four little people that, at times, can have huge emotions.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54When you have kids that have come from such trauma,

0:16:54 > 0:16:56then, we really felt, "They need to connect with us,

0:16:56 > 0:17:00"they need to know where their secure base is."

0:17:00 > 0:17:02We just kept them with us, we didn't actually have

0:17:02 > 0:17:05one night out ourselves for the first 12 months.

0:17:07 > 0:17:13This is our trees. And we've grown... Saturday, I think, was it?

0:17:13 > 0:17:15We took them out the ground and then we planted them...

0:17:15 > 0:17:18Is it going to be, like, very tall trees like those?

0:17:18 > 0:17:20It'll be the same as the ones by the driveway,

0:17:20 > 0:17:23same as those ones over in Dennis's field.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27This is our boat that we use if we go on the water.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31But at the minute we can't, because Abigail has a broken arm.

0:17:31 > 0:17:36When I very first came here I felt, um, scared, but now...

0:17:36 > 0:17:40I'm used to it now. So... Now I really like it here.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44Because we have so much fun and we...

0:17:46 > 0:17:50We always get to play together. And it's easier

0:17:50 > 0:17:52cos us four are all together.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Have a look...

0:17:58 > 0:18:01I think, as a sibling group they have been through so much -

0:18:01 > 0:18:05they are astute children. They are tuned in to each other,

0:18:05 > 0:18:08they are tuned in to adults.

0:18:08 > 0:18:13And so they... In some ways they are very old before their time.

0:18:14 > 0:18:18You expect big emotions, with Christmas, with birthdays.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20Mother's Day, Father's Day.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24But it's the random things that catch you off-guard.

0:18:25 > 0:18:30We've got plenty of room to play and...we get fed.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35At least we do... Cos the other people didn't.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38So that's...everything.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44What the children want more than anything is to take on

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Jacki and Paul's surname. This can only happen

0:18:47 > 0:18:49when they are officially adopted.

0:18:51 > 0:18:57This photo here is Jacki and Paul. There's Ashton, Mya...

0:18:57 > 0:19:00and that's Angel-Leigh and there's me...

0:19:00 > 0:19:03We don't have our Bradley surname yet,

0:19:03 > 0:19:07but when it comes to the name-changing day,

0:19:07 > 0:19:11we're going to all have Bradley as our surname,

0:19:11 > 0:19:14and we're all going to be changed.

0:19:14 > 0:19:15And, er...

0:19:15 > 0:19:19But sometimes now we like to call ourselves Bradley sometimes.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21And we like to write it down.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26The adoption should have gone through in summer 2014,

0:19:26 > 0:19:29but the children's birth family want to keep them,

0:19:29 > 0:19:31and the adoption is now at risk.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Still now, we're sitting in December,

0:19:34 > 0:19:39and we actually have no clue as to when the adoption will take place.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43We're not quite sure where that will leave us...as a family.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49The children have found a home but the security they need

0:19:49 > 0:19:50is still a long way off.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Adoption severs the connection between a child

0:19:57 > 0:20:01and birth parents forever. It's the biggest decision our courts can make.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05In Northern Ireland, that process takes years,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08as other family members must be ruled out first.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13If a birth parent fights the decision, it means further delay.

0:20:15 > 0:20:19Colin and Christina waited years to adopt their first child, William,

0:20:19 > 0:20:23as the courts took time to rule out his birth family.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Now they want to adopt a second, four-year-old Angel.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Thank you for being with us, and we look forward to

0:20:29 > 0:20:32having Angel with us, and thank you for this good food

0:20:32 > 0:20:35and bless it to our use in Jesus' name, Amen.

0:20:35 > 0:20:39They saw her profile a week ago, at an adoption open day.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43I think we were all quite high after it, I think they were, we were,

0:20:43 > 0:20:46and we all had to bring ourselves down to say,

0:20:46 > 0:20:48"Do you know what? We're... We have to... There's processes

0:20:48 > 0:20:51"that we have to follow here. We need to make sure that our hearts

0:20:51 > 0:20:54"aren't ruling our heads. And follow those through."

0:20:54 > 0:20:58We know we have a child here who is suffering from

0:20:58 > 0:21:01significant delay. We also have a couple who have previously adopted,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04and have another child to think of. And we need to make sure that

0:21:04 > 0:21:06if we were to match her with them,

0:21:06 > 0:21:08that it would be right.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12Sharon believes the McFarlands are the right family for Angel,

0:21:12 > 0:21:14but they must now be approved as a match

0:21:14 > 0:21:16by the Northern Trust Adoption Panel.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20This team of professionals will weigh up Sharon's report,

0:21:20 > 0:21:22and may make a decision today.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26We've just had a minute or two just to go over your information

0:21:26 > 0:21:31we've got. And basically you're proposing that Angel

0:21:31 > 0:21:33be placed with the McFarlands.

0:21:35 > 0:21:39Are you secure in their ability to cope?

0:21:39 > 0:21:42The exchange day was on a Tuesday, so, you know...

0:21:42 > 0:21:45I requested that we just give the McFarlands the rest of that week,

0:21:45 > 0:21:47without following it up very quickly, to let things

0:21:47 > 0:21:50- settle a wee bit. - Sharon and I subsequently visited

0:21:50 > 0:21:54in early November. And we were very clear with them about...

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Angel could hit a brick wall with that progress and it may peak,

0:21:57 > 0:22:01you know. And we've had those very frank discussions with them.

0:22:01 > 0:22:0414 months we've been searching for carers for Angel,

0:22:04 > 0:22:06so we don't want to mislead anybody in any way.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09We've got to make sure that whoever is going to take her on,

0:22:09 > 0:22:12that they know exactly, you know, the care needs that she's going

0:22:12 > 0:22:15to have, and the type of parenting that she's going to need.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18So, we're left with... Do we feel we should...approve

0:22:18 > 0:22:24and say that the links should go ahead? And I think...

0:22:25 > 0:22:28We're saying that unanimously? So, yeah...

0:22:28 > 0:22:32So that gives you the freedom to carry on with the work.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Thank you very much indeed. - Thank you.- OK.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- It's quite formal, isn't it?- Yeah.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43It's really pleasing to come in here...

0:22:43 > 0:22:45You know, that the other professionals agree with us,

0:22:45 > 0:22:48and that, you know, this child has a home now, she has a family

0:22:48 > 0:22:51and we can really start the introductions

0:22:51 > 0:22:53and ramp up what we're doing in terms of the contact,

0:22:53 > 0:22:55and it's really exciting.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57So it is. This is the good part.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00SHE CHUCKLES

0:23:00 > 0:23:02With the formal link made, Sharon can now take Angel to meet

0:23:02 > 0:23:05her new family for the first time.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Go in there...- You're going to go over there...

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Where are we going to go, Angel?

0:23:13 > 0:23:16What are we going to do? Feed the...?

0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Feed the ducks.- Good girl. - Go feed the ducks.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27- Hi.- Hello!- Hello, how are you?

0:23:27 > 0:23:30- I'm going...- Do you go over there?

0:23:30 > 0:23:34- Will we all go and feed the ducks? - Oh, that's...

0:23:34 > 0:23:39- Yes, we can come with you. Is that OK?- Let's go!

0:23:39 > 0:23:41LAUGHTER

0:23:43 > 0:23:46After all the weeks of paperwork and process,

0:23:46 > 0:23:49this moment is all about the connection between Angel

0:23:49 > 0:23:50and her new parents.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55'I am satisfied with the information I've received.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57'With the time I've spent with these people,

0:23:57 > 0:24:01'with the questions I've asked. With the probing that we have done.'

0:24:03 > 0:24:05I'm clearly not needed.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06LAUGHTER

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Redundant!

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Oh, Angel, you are a great girl.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15- You really are.- Yeah.- Yes.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Angel will be fostered by the McFarlands

0:24:20 > 0:24:23until the courts free her for adoption, which could take months.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Her journey is just beginning.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36Long-term care provides children with stability.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38But that, on its own, isn't enough.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43Many fail to cope with feelings of rejection long into adulthood.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50Shannon Campbell is 18 and struggling to come to terms with her past.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56She was taken into care as a toddler and fostered

0:24:56 > 0:24:59before her carers applied for a residence order.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04It's like long-term fostering, but...

0:25:05 > 0:25:09..when a child on a residence order becomes 18...

0:25:10 > 0:25:15..then the residence order is up and you don't really belong to anyone.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20- INTERVIEWER:- So, do you feel that you don't belong to anybody?

0:25:20 > 0:25:21Sort of, yeah.

0:25:23 > 0:25:27Shannon had sporadic contact with her birth family when she was younger,

0:25:27 > 0:25:29but hasn't seen them in years.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33She's become angry about her situation

0:25:33 > 0:25:36and has moved out of the home she's lived in nearly all her life.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Gosh, that yard needs power hosed.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Sandra and Patrick have been Shannon's carers

0:25:46 > 0:25:50since she was 16 months old. She calls them her mum and dad.

0:25:52 > 0:25:56These are what's left of Shannon's bits and pieces.

0:25:56 > 0:26:01Here, this box... Here... That's not...

0:26:01 > 0:26:06And there's boxes in the wardrobe here, still belonging to Shannon.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08This was Shannon's room here.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14It's sad that there's nothing left here of her.

0:26:14 > 0:26:20But it's a decision she has made and, erm, it's heartbreaking...

0:26:23 > 0:26:28There's a lot of questions that Sharon needs answered.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32And...we really can't answer them for her.

0:26:32 > 0:26:37They were... She, along with her siblings, were abandoned.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Erm...

0:26:40 > 0:26:44And that's a rejection that she's finding very hard, now,

0:26:44 > 0:26:46at the moment, to cope with.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50This is her home. Her home from when she was 16 months old.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53- VOICE BREAKS:- And hopefully it will be her home again.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Shannon has moved in with one of Sandra's relatives for a few weeks.

0:27:08 > 0:27:12She has recently got hold of her care records.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15- These...are my foster files. - She hopes they will explain

0:27:15 > 0:27:19why she and her siblings were taken into care.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- There's actually a lot of it blacked out.- Yeah.

0:27:24 > 0:27:28- What's annoying you most? - It's just it didn't say

0:27:28 > 0:27:29what I wanted it to say.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35I know there's a lot on my contact records

0:27:35 > 0:27:38of my dad not showing up to access.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42That's what I'm annoyed with.

0:27:43 > 0:27:47I've come to terms with... I'm not going to get the answers...

0:27:47 > 0:27:49Just...something I'm going to have to live with.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54You go and you say, "I don't care."

0:27:54 > 0:27:57But really, at the back of your head you do care.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00You try to push it aside, but the more you push it aside

0:28:00 > 0:28:02the more you're starting to think about it and then...

0:28:02 > 0:28:04It makes you annoyed.

0:28:13 > 0:28:19It's very hard not to be emotionally tied to a child,

0:28:19 > 0:28:22even though the child is not yours. Em...

0:28:28 > 0:28:31You know, you just fall in love with them.

0:28:32 > 0:28:37And it's very hard to say, "This is not my child.

0:28:37 > 0:28:41"My job is just to feed, clothe and rear them...

0:28:41 > 0:28:43"to as best as you can."

0:28:45 > 0:28:47But fostering isn't like that.

0:28:49 > 0:28:52You know, you do fall in love with them,

0:28:52 > 0:28:55you do want to give them the best.

0:28:55 > 0:28:59It's like wanting to erase the mistakes.

0:29:00 > 0:29:04And fix things... like a sticky plaster won't fix.

0:29:13 > 0:29:16Social worker Sharon has the official letter to say Angel

0:29:16 > 0:29:19has been matched with the McFarlands.

0:29:19 > 0:29:23She had hoped to deliver it today, but there's another emergency.

0:29:23 > 0:29:27I literally have a child's life packed up in my office here today,

0:29:27 > 0:29:28cos the child is moving again.

0:29:28 > 0:29:32This will be her third placement within two weeks,

0:29:32 > 0:29:34so hopefully this will be somewhere she can stay,

0:29:34 > 0:29:37but, I mean, it is very sad. You know, I have Christmas presents

0:29:37 > 0:29:39for people in boxes on one side,

0:29:39 > 0:29:42and I have a child's life in a plastic bag on the other.

0:29:48 > 0:29:50- Delivery for you.- Oh, thank you.

0:29:50 > 0:29:52I've been waiting for this.

0:29:53 > 0:29:54The McFarlands now have a few weeks

0:29:54 > 0:29:57to get their house ready for Angel's move.

0:29:58 > 0:30:01There's a carefully choreographed plan in place

0:30:01 > 0:30:03for Angel to get to know her new family.

0:30:03 > 0:30:06Regardless of how good you think a match is,

0:30:06 > 0:30:08it's still a transition for that child.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10That child is leaving the home

0:30:10 > 0:30:12and the carers that they've become familiar with

0:30:12 > 0:30:15and sometimes, our kids, if we've searched a long time for carers,

0:30:15 > 0:30:17have been there quite a while.

0:30:17 > 0:30:18And it is a big move.

0:30:21 > 0:30:24Today, Angel is visiting her new home for the first time.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27Can I see my bed?

0:30:27 > 0:30:30- Do you want to see your bed, sweetheart?- Up there.- Up there, yes.

0:30:33 > 0:30:36- What's in this one? - What's in this one? Nothing yet.

0:30:36 > 0:30:39Maybe one day, we'll put some of your clothes in.

0:30:39 > 0:30:42Here's a little baby, and what's this?

0:30:42 > 0:30:44- Cookie!- Yes.

0:30:44 > 0:30:46- Cookie goes on my bed.- Does he?

0:30:46 > 0:30:47You put him on your bed, then.

0:30:49 > 0:30:50He's for the bed.

0:30:52 > 0:30:56I have just chatted to the foster care.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59- And she will give me a... - That's me.- Yeah.

0:30:59 > 0:31:02She will give me a list of a typical day for Angel

0:31:02 > 0:31:05and her routine - her likes and dislikes.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07And then, we'll take it from there.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10And I suppose, coming here is a new beginning for her,

0:31:10 > 0:31:12so there'll be new ways of doing things.

0:31:12 > 0:31:14It's not going to be the exact way,

0:31:14 > 0:31:18so she will fit into our family, in her own time.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21Coming up in the car today, she was talking about her new home -

0:31:21 > 0:31:25Angel's home - she was so excited to come and see her bedroom.

0:31:25 > 0:31:29- I've seen my bedroom!- Yeah. Angel's seen her bedroom today. It's lovely.

0:31:29 > 0:31:34- That's me!- Yes, you're up there on the wall, in the picture.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37- This is your home, isn't it?- Yes. - Angel's house.

0:31:37 > 0:31:39This is my house.

0:31:39 > 0:31:42Yes, it is your house.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45- I like my new house. - You like your new house, yes.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56With her development not being as far on

0:31:56 > 0:31:58as it should have been by now...

0:31:58 > 0:32:03Will we reach a peak where it's not going to go any further?

0:32:03 > 0:32:06And that's something we have to be realistic about.

0:32:07 > 0:32:13That yes, she may not be a high achiever, but you know what?

0:32:13 > 0:32:15There's a place for those people.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17I wasn't very brainy at school.

0:32:17 > 0:32:22Look at me now, I've got a job that I love, job satisfaction.

0:32:22 > 0:32:25And I believe the same for Angel.

0:32:25 > 0:32:27We will be there to support her

0:32:27 > 0:32:30and help her to achieve her dreams.

0:32:30 > 0:32:35We don't know those dreams yet, but they will soon be evident to us

0:32:35 > 0:32:38and we will be there to help and guide her.

0:32:38 > 0:32:42- What's in there?- Do you want to see William's room?- Yes.

0:32:42 > 0:32:47Right, let's go and see William's room. This way. Here, look, Angel.

0:32:47 > 0:32:50William's room. Your brother's room.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53- Whoa...- Uh-huh. Your brother's room.

0:32:53 > 0:32:56- That's mine.- That's William's. That's William's.

0:32:56 > 0:33:00- And mine.- That's you and William.

0:33:00 > 0:33:03Mummy's bedroom is in here.

0:33:03 > 0:33:05This is Mummy and Daddy's bedroom.

0:33:05 > 0:33:08After 14 months of searching,

0:33:08 > 0:33:11it will take just four weeks to move Angel into her new home.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16Moving a child into foster care can happen quickly,

0:33:16 > 0:33:19but the next step to adoption can take years.

0:33:22 > 0:33:24Come, girls.

0:33:24 > 0:33:26Mia, come put this on.

0:33:31 > 0:33:34Jacki and Paul Bradley have spent the last 14 years

0:33:34 > 0:33:36trying for a family.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39Six years ago, they applied to become adopters.

0:33:41 > 0:33:46We were very clear as to what we wanted to achieve.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48There was no hesitation on our part.

0:33:48 > 0:33:51I mean, we were on board

0:33:51 > 0:33:54and it didn't matter what hoops we had to jump through,

0:33:54 > 0:33:56we were going to go for it.

0:33:56 > 0:34:00- So, they're making a wee dam. Shall we do it too?- Yeah.

0:34:00 > 0:34:04The children have been in the Bradleys' care for almost two years.

0:34:04 > 0:34:07They now know the adoption can go ahead,

0:34:07 > 0:34:09but the process continues to be beset by delays.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13We have four children here constantly nagging us

0:34:13 > 0:34:15as to when is their name going to be changed?

0:34:15 > 0:34:19When are they going to be adopted? Why is it taking so long?

0:34:19 > 0:34:22So, it has been very, very difficult.

0:34:22 > 0:34:24The delays in the case are partly due to

0:34:24 > 0:34:27the amount of time that must be given in Northern Ireland

0:34:27 > 0:34:29to hearing the birth parents' views.

0:34:29 > 0:34:32The four people who should be in the centre of all this

0:34:32 > 0:34:34and should be the most important people in this case

0:34:34 > 0:34:37unfortunately don't seem to have been.

0:34:37 > 0:34:40Here we go, try that, son.

0:34:40 > 0:34:41See how well the dam works.

0:34:44 > 0:34:46CHEERING

0:34:46 > 0:34:50They have, in many ways, felt let down by the system.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53And so, when a social worker - as lovely as they may be -

0:34:53 > 0:34:56comes and says, you're going to be adopted, this is your family,

0:34:56 > 0:34:59I think until it actually happens...

0:34:59 > 0:35:03These kids are not stupid, so why would they invest in that?

0:35:03 > 0:35:06Jacki and Paul know they're near the end of their journey,

0:35:06 > 0:35:08but at times, it feels a long way off.

0:35:10 > 0:35:12'Currently, we are one year on

0:35:12 > 0:35:15'from the judge granting the freeing order.

0:35:16 > 0:35:18'And at this point,

0:35:18 > 0:35:21'we feel as if we're no closer to our adoption hearing.'

0:35:34 > 0:35:36Social workers like Grainne Nelson

0:35:36 > 0:35:38are struggling to make the system work.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40There are more children being referred

0:35:40 > 0:35:43and not enough carers to look after them.

0:35:43 > 0:35:45Just going to go and grab some coffee first,

0:35:45 > 0:35:47before we get organised.

0:35:47 > 0:35:50Every Monday, we have a meeting, just to look at the children

0:35:50 > 0:35:53that we really do, absolutely need placed today.

0:35:53 > 0:35:55And we've had a bit of a hellish month in January,

0:35:55 > 0:35:57and January is always very busy.

0:35:57 > 0:36:00Christmas is not a good time.

0:36:00 > 0:36:02Sometimes, there's a wee bit more alcohol taken,

0:36:02 > 0:36:05families get together who wouldn't normally get together

0:36:05 > 0:36:09and then the kids fall into the midst of a bit of chaos.

0:36:11 > 0:36:14So...busy time, generally.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18Today, the team need to find a place for two young brothers.

0:36:18 > 0:36:22They were due to be adopted, but the couple have pulled out.

0:36:23 > 0:36:26Now, at the minute, both boys are placed together.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30Carers have fallen through, quite recently.

0:36:30 > 0:36:31They can't go on with them.

0:36:33 > 0:36:37One of those boys has had three separate foster carers -

0:36:37 > 0:36:39he's on his third foster carer now.

0:36:39 > 0:36:43And that's nothing to do with his behaviour, or his presentation.

0:36:43 > 0:36:46That's because the system could not place him

0:36:46 > 0:36:50in a short-term foster placement which was going to last -

0:36:50 > 0:36:51which is very sad.

0:36:52 > 0:36:56Experienced foster carers are needed to look after the brothers

0:36:56 > 0:36:58while new adopters are found.

0:36:59 > 0:37:02Senior social worker Angela has carers in mind,

0:37:02 > 0:37:06but they've asked for a few weeks off and might not be available.

0:37:06 > 0:37:09How are you bearing up with the quiet house?

0:37:10 > 0:37:12I bet it was, I bet it was.

0:37:14 > 0:37:16The field team have begged me to ask you,

0:37:16 > 0:37:19would you take two little ones again?

0:37:19 > 0:37:21They have an adoptive breakdown and we were wondering

0:37:21 > 0:37:24whether you would give us three to six months?

0:37:24 > 0:37:28Our carers, they're meant to be all things to all people.

0:37:28 > 0:37:32They're meant to be therapists, nurses, doctors,

0:37:32 > 0:37:35mums, dads, everything.

0:37:35 > 0:37:38And I think our expectations of even our carers,

0:37:38 > 0:37:41who don't receive a salary, are very, very high.

0:37:44 > 0:37:46Children with a background in care

0:37:46 > 0:37:49can face emotional turmoil from their early experiences.

0:37:49 > 0:37:52It's the carers who must deal with the fallout.

0:37:52 > 0:37:56Shannon Campbell was taken into care as a baby.

0:37:56 > 0:37:59She hasn't seen her birth mother in years.

0:37:59 > 0:38:01She hasn't done nothing for me,

0:38:01 > 0:38:03she didn't look after me.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06She didn't bother showing up to most of the contacts, so...

0:38:08 > 0:38:12I remember one time, I was about six and it was Christmas,

0:38:12 > 0:38:14cos we always went down to my nanny's house.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17She turned round, she told me she loved me

0:38:17 > 0:38:19and I turned round and went, "You don't love me.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21"You're not my mummy."

0:38:21 > 0:38:23I remember that.

0:38:27 > 0:38:30As a child, Shannon had some contact with her birth family.

0:38:32 > 0:38:35Sandra and Patrick gave her a loving, secure home.

0:38:35 > 0:38:37But as she grew older,

0:38:37 > 0:38:41the knowledge that her birth family had rejected her became overwhelming.

0:38:42 > 0:38:44Five days ago, she went missing.

0:38:53 > 0:38:55No forwarding address for Shannon.

0:38:55 > 0:38:59We don't know where she is, where she's living...

0:38:59 > 0:39:05She's not communicating with us, so her post is...over there.

0:39:05 > 0:39:09So, I don't know what's going to happen.

0:39:10 > 0:39:15We don't know where she's gone, we don't know where she's living

0:39:15 > 0:39:19and any time we've tried to talk to her, to ring her,

0:39:19 > 0:39:20the phone's switched off.

0:39:22 > 0:39:27There's questions to be answered about her welfare, at the moment.

0:39:27 > 0:39:29Certainly about her ability to...

0:39:30 > 0:39:32..look after herself.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35How often do you think about her?

0:39:35 > 0:39:36All the time. Oh...

0:39:41 > 0:39:44And you go through your mind, "What have I done wrong?

0:39:44 > 0:39:45"What should we have done?

0:39:45 > 0:39:48"Is there something that we should have done?" You know?

0:39:50 > 0:39:53Part of her problem was rejection by her biological mother...

0:39:55 > 0:39:58..and that had had a very big effect on her.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08In the past, children left their birth families behind

0:40:08 > 0:40:09to make a new start.

0:40:11 > 0:40:13But Northern Ireland now has open adoptions

0:40:13 > 0:40:16and children maintain contact with their birth families.

0:40:21 > 0:40:24William was six when he was adopted by Colin and Christina.

0:40:24 > 0:40:25- QUACK - How are you today?

0:40:25 > 0:40:27QUACK

0:40:27 > 0:40:29TOY QUACKS SONG

0:40:29 > 0:40:32He sees his birth parents four times a year.

0:40:35 > 0:40:37This is my life book.

0:40:37 > 0:40:40I've got some good memories from this

0:40:40 > 0:40:43and some not-so-good memories from it.

0:40:43 > 0:40:46Do you ever think about your birth parents?

0:40:46 > 0:40:48My birth parents?

0:40:48 > 0:40:50I get to see them regularly.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53I've seen them recently, but, er...

0:40:56 > 0:40:58Yeah, I don't really have words.

0:41:01 > 0:41:06'It's not really William asking for contact.'

0:41:06 > 0:41:10It's more a requirement for the birth parents.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12William would find it difficult.

0:41:12 > 0:41:15We have to be honest, William does find it difficult...

0:41:16 > 0:41:18..reliving it every year -

0:41:18 > 0:41:22and it has its challenges, but it's not impossible.

0:41:23 > 0:41:26The good thing is that the children know where they come from.

0:41:26 > 0:41:27There's no secrecy.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30They will not make up their own fantasies about

0:41:30 > 0:41:33"My mummy and daddy, they are this, or they have that."

0:41:33 > 0:41:37It's very much fact and I suppose, for William,

0:41:37 > 0:41:41now he knows who his birth parents are and as he grows up,

0:41:41 > 0:41:44he can choose if he wants to keep them in his life, or not.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48That's my first shoe.

0:41:49 > 0:41:51Wow.

0:41:57 > 0:42:01Linda Wiesner is with the Northern Trust post adoption team.

0:42:01 > 0:42:06It's unique in the UK, offering support to children like William.

0:42:06 > 0:42:07At each point in their development,

0:42:07 > 0:42:12a child is required to look at and think about, "Why am I adopted?

0:42:12 > 0:42:14"What does it mean to be adopted?

0:42:14 > 0:42:16"What does it mean to be part of two families?"

0:42:16 > 0:42:21And sometimes, we find children struggle with that.

0:42:21 > 0:42:23Children have to adapt to this notion -

0:42:23 > 0:42:26that they have been chosen on the one hand,

0:42:26 > 0:42:28but on the other hand, they have been given up.

0:42:28 > 0:42:30And that's not easy.

0:42:30 > 0:42:32Hello.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35Good to see you.

0:42:35 > 0:42:37William is struggling with contact.

0:42:37 > 0:42:40He saw his birth mum last week

0:42:40 > 0:42:44and is upset at how much time she spent on the phone during the visit.

0:42:44 > 0:42:48I can tell my mummy doesn't really spend time with me.

0:42:48 > 0:42:49That's how I feel about it.

0:42:49 > 0:42:53OK, and how did you feel when she talked to you?

0:42:53 > 0:42:58I felt kind of happy about it, but it doesn't happen that often, so..

0:42:58 > 0:43:00OK. Mm-hmm.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02Well, do you think it's something

0:43:02 > 0:43:04that I could talk to your birth mum about?

0:43:06 > 0:43:09- I don't want...me doing it.- OK.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12I'd rather do social services.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15There's a lot of young people who are your age

0:43:15 > 0:43:18who think like you - who think, maybe it needs to change.

0:43:18 > 0:43:20Maybe I don't want to go for a while.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22Maybe want to go a bit more, maybe I want to go a bit less.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24Maybe I want to write, instead.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27Tell me one thing that would make it better,

0:43:27 > 0:43:30when you actually do go to see her.

0:43:30 > 0:43:34- Can you think of one thing? - She doesn't bring her phone.

0:43:35 > 0:43:37It is very, very complex,

0:43:37 > 0:43:41and even for children who understand why they're having contact,

0:43:41 > 0:43:46even for adoptive parents who are supportive of contact,

0:43:46 > 0:43:49for both parents who've accepted that their child is adopted,

0:43:49 > 0:43:53it is still an minefield of relationships to work through.

0:43:53 > 0:43:56- Yeah, she needs to finish her breakfast.- That's mine!

0:43:56 > 0:44:00Not only are Colin and Christina managing William's birth family,

0:44:00 > 0:44:04But now, they must begin to work with Angel's family too.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07Does Emily like her breakfast? Yeah?

0:44:07 > 0:44:10Angel's birth parents can see her every fortnight

0:44:10 > 0:44:12while she is still a foster child.

0:44:12 > 0:44:16I got a text there saying that contact is taking place today.

0:44:16 > 0:44:20So, I've just shared that with Angel on the way home from school that

0:44:20 > 0:44:23that's where we're going so she's quite excited.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27'We know very little about her birth parents.

0:44:27 > 0:44:33'So there is not much for us to share with Angel and to explain

0:44:33 > 0:44:35'who her birth parents are.

0:44:38 > 0:44:40'With William, we could have said

0:44:40 > 0:44:43'that it wasn't that his birth parents didn't love him -

0:44:43 > 0:44:47'they do love him, but they were just not able to look after him.'

0:44:48 > 0:44:52- 21st. It's my contact! - It's your contact, yes.

0:44:52 > 0:44:55Photographs. OK. Photographs.

0:44:55 > 0:44:59'Now, with Angel, it would be wrong for us to start to

0:44:59 > 0:45:04'try and share things with her, because they may not be the truth.'

0:45:09 > 0:45:11Here, hold on, sweetheart.

0:45:19 > 0:45:20Mummy will leave you in.

0:45:22 > 0:45:26Contact lasts for an hour and is supervised by social worker Sharon.

0:45:27 > 0:45:31Angel's parents will continue to oppose the care plan of adoption.

0:45:31 > 0:45:34They do not want her to be adopted. They do not want her even to remain

0:45:34 > 0:45:37in the long-term care of the trust. Certainly, the last conversation

0:45:37 > 0:45:41that the social worker and I had with Mum and Dad a few weeks ago,

0:45:41 > 0:45:45they are both asking, "What do we need to do to have Angel back?"

0:45:45 > 0:45:48They have been told on quite a significant number of occasions

0:45:48 > 0:45:51things that they would need to engage with, in terms of that,

0:45:51 > 0:45:52that they have not done.

0:46:01 > 0:46:03We got her that over in Blackpool.

0:46:05 > 0:46:10Sharon is Angel's birth mother. She lives on her own in Belfast.

0:46:10 > 0:46:12I can just see her...

0:46:12 > 0:46:14I can just imagine her sat in that now on my knee.

0:46:14 > 0:46:17Just looking at the coat now, you can just see her there in it.

0:46:17 > 0:46:19It's...it's unreal.

0:46:21 > 0:46:24It's not making me sad or anything, but...

0:46:25 > 0:46:29..it's just like a good memory now, if I look back on it, that we had.

0:46:31 > 0:46:35I couldn't wait, ever. She was just beautiful.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37Fell in love with her straight away.

0:46:37 > 0:46:38Oh, she was so cute.

0:46:39 > 0:46:41Just remember her now, in my arms.

0:46:44 > 0:46:47Sharon moved to Northern Ireland with Angel's father.

0:46:47 > 0:46:50She had a history with social services.

0:46:51 > 0:46:54When Angel was a few months old, they were called in.

0:46:55 > 0:46:59They tried repeatedly to support Sharon, but eventually Angel

0:46:59 > 0:47:02was taken into care due to chronic neglect.

0:47:02 > 0:47:05It was on my birthday, at ten to eleven.

0:47:05 > 0:47:07They came in and told me to get her ready

0:47:07 > 0:47:10and they took her, on that day,

0:47:10 > 0:47:14which was horrible, really. Especially on my birthday, like.

0:47:14 > 0:47:16I was having a little party in the bedroom.

0:47:16 > 0:47:18We was full of cake and crisps. You can imagine the mess

0:47:18 > 0:47:22of a little one. She was messy that day, yeah.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25But other than that, she was looked after and stuff.

0:47:26 > 0:47:28Never neglected or anything.

0:47:28 > 0:47:32Sharon was offered the chance of rehabilitation.

0:47:32 > 0:47:34They wanted us to do, like, parenting classes

0:47:34 > 0:47:36and stuff like that, at the time.

0:47:36 > 0:47:39I refused it, because I'd already had four other children,

0:47:39 > 0:47:41so I thought, "I don't need it."

0:47:43 > 0:47:47After a few months, Angel's parents were ruled out as her primary carers.

0:47:47 > 0:47:50They just said, "She will be adopted."

0:47:51 > 0:47:56It was a bit of a shock, but I've took it all in and...seen that

0:47:56 > 0:48:00she is happy with the people she is with and I wouldn't want to,

0:48:00 > 0:48:03like, pick her up and bring her out of the happiness

0:48:03 > 0:48:05and, you know, disturb her. I want her to be happy

0:48:05 > 0:48:11and have a good life, education and everything.

0:48:11 > 0:48:13Not spoil it for her. Let her be happy.

0:48:19 > 0:48:23It was a bad childhood for me. I was abused as a little girl.

0:48:24 > 0:48:2813 to 14 I think I was when I was put in care.

0:48:28 > 0:48:31And I came out just before my 16th birthday.

0:48:31 > 0:48:35It was... It wasn't that bad, being in care.

0:48:36 > 0:48:39I'd rather have been at home, but it was one of them things

0:48:39 > 0:48:41that happened, because of the abuse.

0:48:43 > 0:48:46- What kind of life do you want for Angel?- The best.

0:48:47 > 0:48:49The best that she can have.

0:49:04 > 0:49:07After going missing and cutting off all contact,

0:49:07 > 0:49:11Shannon has got back in touch with Sandra and Patrick.

0:49:11 > 0:49:14Bit nervous about going back to the house. Haven't been there in ages.

0:49:19 > 0:49:21And the meeting up with them.

0:49:21 > 0:49:24I've been talking to Mummy, so...

0:49:27 > 0:49:28It will take time.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33The last six weeks...

0:49:35 > 0:49:37..found out I was pregnant...

0:49:39 > 0:49:40..and moved out of Elaine's.

0:49:42 > 0:49:44Moved in with my boyfriend.

0:49:46 > 0:49:48Not much has happened(!)

0:49:55 > 0:49:58No hug for your sister?

0:49:58 > 0:50:00- OK. We're the same size. I think. - No, sit there.

0:50:00 > 0:50:06- There's nothing there. - No, I know.- Other's nothing there.

0:50:06 > 0:50:07Where's the baby?!

0:50:09 > 0:50:10I was in this one.

0:50:20 > 0:50:22It's different.

0:50:25 > 0:50:26SHE SIGHS

0:50:26 > 0:50:30Right, Shannon. Take plenty. It's good for you.

0:50:31 > 0:50:32Shannon!

0:50:32 > 0:50:36- I don't like tomatoes.- Well, take some lettuce.- I'll eat the leaves.

0:50:36 > 0:50:39Yes, cos it's good for you. Take plenty.

0:50:39 > 0:50:40Some fruit?

0:50:44 > 0:50:45That's good for you.

0:50:45 > 0:50:47Eat your greens.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49A grape is green!

0:50:50 > 0:50:53'I am glad I came. Obviously, Mummy and Daddy'

0:50:53 > 0:50:55is going to be Granny and Grandda.

0:50:56 > 0:51:00Boyfriend's parents are going to be Gran and Grandda, too.

0:51:02 > 0:51:03First day at school.

0:51:04 > 0:51:10'A family isn't always blood. It's really who stands by you

0:51:10 > 0:51:13- 'and who doesn't.' - Fancy dressed. Fairy.

0:51:15 > 0:51:17Ah, look at you. You're a wee cutie.

0:51:19 > 0:51:21'I don't want my child going through'

0:51:21 > 0:51:26social services. I'll have nothing to do with her

0:51:26 > 0:51:27or social workers.

0:51:29 > 0:51:31'I'll be a good mummy.'

0:51:48 > 0:51:52'Today is the day that has been dreamed about.'

0:51:53 > 0:51:55(Look, there is a barrister.)

0:51:55 > 0:52:00- He has got his robes on, do you see? - What is a barrister?- A fancy lawyer.

0:52:01 > 0:52:03'Just last week, Paul had said to the children,

0:52:03 > 0:52:05"Mum has something to tell you"

0:52:05 > 0:52:09'and Angel had said, "Is it name-change day?"

0:52:09 > 0:52:12'And we were actually able to say, "Yes, it is."

0:52:12 > 0:52:15'As soon as they woke up this morning, "Can we go to court?

0:52:15 > 0:52:16"Can we go now and do it?"

0:52:18 > 0:52:20We'll have to see if Granny and Grandda are here yet, eh?

0:52:20 > 0:52:24After 1,182 days in care,

0:52:24 > 0:52:28a simple ten-minute hearing will see the children legally adopted.

0:52:31 > 0:52:34We have just completed our adoption hearing.

0:52:34 > 0:52:39Judge Miller presided and, just a couple of minutes after that,

0:52:39 > 0:52:41the event has happened and the children are now

0:52:41 > 0:52:44officially and legally Bradleys.

0:52:44 > 0:52:48'It is all done and dusted. It is pretty incredible.'

0:52:50 > 0:52:51There we go.

0:52:51 > 0:52:54So, guys, it actually happened.

0:52:55 > 0:52:57With the legalities over,

0:52:57 > 0:52:59the Bradley family celebrate their day.

0:53:12 > 0:53:14'It has been really good.'

0:53:14 > 0:53:16Mum started crying.

0:53:19 > 0:53:24After that, I felt really, really excited, cos I was a Bradley now.

0:53:25 > 0:53:29'The adoption hearing definitely brings a sense of, I suppose, peace'

0:53:29 > 0:53:32and there is a finality to all of this now. Even just today,

0:53:32 > 0:53:37saying goodbye to the guardian and goodbye to the social workers,

0:53:37 > 0:53:41just knowing that the line has been drawn under all of the proceedings

0:53:41 > 0:53:44and the years of going through all of this, to know that it is

0:53:44 > 0:53:46at a close now and that this is it.

0:53:46 > 0:53:49The children are ours. There is no going back.

0:53:49 > 0:53:51Nobody is coming to take them off us.

0:53:51 > 0:53:52'Yeah, this is it.'

0:53:59 > 0:54:02- Do you think this is a day you will always remember?- Definitely.

0:54:02 > 0:54:05- Tell me about that. - I will maybe tell my kids one day.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13After years of waiting, the children, finally, have the love,

0:54:13 > 0:54:16the home and the security they have always wanted.

0:54:34 > 0:54:37William is in Sweden, visiting his extended adopted family.

0:54:44 > 0:54:48I am not Swedish. My mum is Swedish.

0:54:48 > 0:54:51But I enjoy Sweden, cos it's a really good country.

0:54:54 > 0:54:57IMITATES ANIMAL BRAYING

0:54:57 > 0:54:58What was that for?

0:54:58 > 0:55:02It's just... I think that's the noise an elk makes.

0:55:02 > 0:55:04The elk dens are down there, so they are.

0:55:08 > 0:55:11Why is it important to have grandparents?

0:55:11 > 0:55:14So that you can find out what your parents' past was like.

0:55:19 > 0:55:21And why is that important?

0:55:22 > 0:55:25So that you can see if you can try and be the same.

0:55:32 > 0:55:37What was my mummy like when she was younger?

0:55:37 > 0:55:39She was very obedient.

0:55:39 > 0:55:41She was lovely little girl.

0:55:43 > 0:55:47This is Angel's first visit to her new grandparents.

0:55:47 > 0:55:49You know, it was exciting, getting a little sister -

0:55:49 > 0:55:52something we have been longing for for a long, long time.

0:55:54 > 0:55:57'But the reality of everyday living,

0:55:57 > 0:56:02'there are times William wants a little break from his sister.'

0:56:02 > 0:56:07She is good at teasing. And she knows what buttons to press already,

0:56:07 > 0:56:10to get big brother to be a bit upset.

0:56:10 > 0:56:11WILLIAM CRIES

0:56:11 > 0:56:14Angel has been with the family for only two months...

0:56:14 > 0:56:17Don't cry!

0:56:17 > 0:56:19..but already, the bonds are clear.

0:56:22 > 0:56:26- Can you carry that yourself? - Yes!- Wow!

0:56:26 > 0:56:30Hold on tight, tight, tight. All right?

0:56:30 > 0:56:32We go this way. OK.

0:56:32 > 0:56:33We go.

0:56:35 > 0:56:39- Hold her hand, maybe, if it's slippy.- I hold your hand?

0:56:39 > 0:56:45'We have beautiful memories of William. At birthdays, Christmas,

0:56:45 > 0:56:47'Easter holidays -

0:56:47 > 0:56:51'memories where William will treasure for the rest of his life.

0:56:54 > 0:56:55'Now, we will be doing that'

0:56:55 > 0:56:59as a family of four, rather than a family of three.

0:56:59 > 0:57:03And, for Angel, we will create new memories - positive memories.

0:57:07 > 0:57:10- Isn't that fun?- Can we do it again?

0:57:11 > 0:57:15We can't change the past, but we can change the future.

0:57:27 > 0:57:3220 years ago... my mum knitted that.

0:57:32 > 0:57:37It's a hat and a little cardigan for a little girl.

0:57:39 > 0:57:42And it's been kept in a bag for us all this time.

0:57:43 > 0:57:47And now, my beautiful daughter gets it, to enjoy it.

0:57:47 > 0:57:51So, in one sense, the little girl got it.

0:57:56 > 0:57:58Whose mummy is that?

0:57:58 > 0:58:01- Mummy!- Mummy's mummy!

0:58:01 > 0:58:02And whose daddy is that?

0:58:04 > 0:58:05Mummy.

0:58:05 > 0:58:08- Mummy's daddy!- And Daddy!

0:58:08 > 0:58:10- So she... - That's a big step for her.- Yeah.

0:58:10 > 0:58:11For her, to have got this far...

0:58:13 > 0:58:15..and she caught on to that quite quickly.

0:58:15 > 0:58:20I think it is a basic need within all of us -

0:58:20 > 0:58:21wanting to belong.