0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- What happens to our kids? - One minute, they're sweet,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11and before you know it, they've morphed into moody teenagers...
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- You're useless.- ..Struggling with the challenges of adolescence...
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Get out of my fucking room!
0:00:16 > 0:00:20..Leaving their parents wondering, exactly where did they go wrong?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22I just want you to piss off!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24I'm sitting down! I'm sat down!
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Shut up!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30These three families are suffering serious Teen Trouble!
0:00:33 > 0:00:37- Are you OK?- The situation's bad enough already...
0:00:37 > 0:00:38You just said you weren't hungry!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41You know exactly what you're doing, Chloe!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43I hate you!
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Great show.
0:00:44 > 0:00:50Desperate for change, they have signed up for a week-long retreat away from their usual routines
0:00:50 > 0:00:53and home comforts in a bid to turn their lives around.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58The location, Greenhill YMCA in Newcastle, County Down.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03An expert team will put the families through a tough programme of psychotherapy
0:01:03 > 0:01:05and physical activities.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07They're here to deal with their teens' behaviour,
0:01:07 > 0:01:12but will it turn out that the parents are as much to blame as their kids?
0:01:12 > 0:01:17The group will be pushed to their limits and taken way beyond their comfort zones...
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Oh, my God!
0:01:18 > 0:01:21..In an attempt to rebuild their confidence...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Fucking bitch!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25..And their relationships.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27But can they step up to the challenge
0:01:27 > 0:01:30and grasp this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32SHOUTING
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Previously on Teen Trouble...
0:02:08 > 0:02:11the families arrived and met each other and the experts
0:02:11 > 0:02:12for the first time.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15For me, this week is all about you reconnecting with each other.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18The most important thing is that you speak your mind.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20We're here to help you make the changes
0:02:20 > 0:02:22that you really want to happen.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24The new faces and unfamiliar surroundings
0:02:24 > 0:02:26soon proved overwhelming for Chloe.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Chloe, her mum Cathy and stepdad Beano are from Derry.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35With Cathy and Beano's two younger kids also in the house, it's always chaotic.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39You want to get out?
0:02:39 > 0:02:44Chloe's behaviour is blamed for a lot of the arguments and her tantrums are part of life.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- Turn it down! - You're not going to fucking hide!
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Cathy and Beano hope to change that
0:02:49 > 0:02:53and both want a better relationship with Chloe.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Andrea has come away with her three teenage children,
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Rachel, Josh and Naomi.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03Family life is dominated by violent verbal and physical fights between the sisters.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Stop it!
0:03:06 > 0:03:07I hate you!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Petty arguments escalate quickly out of control.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15I was so angry that I broke the hoover and started smacking her with it.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19It affects the whole family and they all simply want it to stop.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Get off it right now!
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Siobhan desperately wants a relationship with her daughter.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Ciara's life revolves around her friends
0:03:27 > 0:03:31but often she doesn't tell her mum where she's going or who she's with.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- When am I going to know where you are actually going.- I don't know!
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Incidents involving alcohol have led to a serious loss of trust.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Siobhan knows Ciara can be funny and outgoing,
0:03:42 > 0:03:46but most of the time that side of her personality is kept well hidden.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49By the end of the first day away from home,
0:03:49 > 0:03:53the teens had already shocked their parents by giving up their mobile phones without a fight
0:03:53 > 0:03:55and even doing the washing-up.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58The group had bonded and the mood was high.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05But up early for the first full day of psychotherapy and outdoor activities,
0:04:05 > 0:04:09are the families feeling as positive as they were last night?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Please, can I join you?- No.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13I love you.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18It's trying something different, you know...
0:04:18 > 0:04:21and we'll just see what the day brings now.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24It's all happy families for the three teens next door.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Are you not having nothing? - I already had cereal.
0:04:27 > 0:04:32It could be too early to say about the arguments and stuff because it's only day 2,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34but it seems more better
0:04:34 > 0:04:38and everyone seems to be getting along so far at the minute.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40If we were in the house,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43we'd probably be arguing and angry and fighting and stuff like that,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45so I don't know. It feels different,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48but we'll see as the week goes on how it goes.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52And as usual things seem quite strained between Ciara and her mum.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54How do you find that, Ciara?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59You not going to answer that?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01No?
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Outdoor activities expert Ian Bailey is in charge of the early morning exercise.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11He's just pleased the teens have bothered to turn up.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Anyone want to take a guess at what these three sets of wooden planks are for?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18The three of us is going to have to go and walk with them.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Bang on, yeah. These are skis. These are big skis.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23The way it works is that each family gets a set of skis.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25You're going to race against each other
0:05:25 > 0:05:28and you're going to head up round those cones and then back to these white cones, to the finish line.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33We're using a series of what we call trust games that really help families engage with one another
0:05:33 > 0:05:37and trust one another to make decisions and work together as a team,
0:05:37 > 0:05:38which, clearly for these families,
0:05:38 > 0:05:41has been a really difficult thing to do these last few years,
0:05:41 > 0:05:43so it's all about bringing that together,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46hopefully under the guise of good fun.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50- Right foot forward.- Right foot! - Left foot!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52- Have you any ideas how you're going to do this?- No.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- HE LAUGHS - You're going to have to talk to each other!
0:05:56 > 0:05:57It's all about rhythm.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- She's going to get cranky and shout at us.- Yes, I am!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Chloe's already decided it's too hard and has given up.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11Despite barely speaking, Ciara and her mum have romped home across the finish line...
0:06:11 > 0:06:12with time to spare.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18There's no point all coming over here if I've got to go on it! No!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Just leave me alone!
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- It's only a bit of fun. - I told you I don't want to do it.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- You didn't tell me, you didn't know what we were going to do. - I don't want to do that one!
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- But we're all having a laugh. - I don't want to do it!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- You not fancy it now?- No. I'm sorry, I don't want to do it.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Just youse do it, Mummy.- But... - Go and do it!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Just do it!- Don't speak to me like that!- I don't want to do it!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I'll tell you what, Chloe, how's about if you stand off the skis?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- No...- So you do the speaking. - I don't want to do it all, please.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52- I just don't want...- Why don't you give the orders?- Oh, I don't... - Do what Ian says.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I'm not actually letting you stand out, so you've got two jobs.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- You can either gives the orders... - I'll give the orders, then. - Right, come on.- Come on.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Some of them are struggling. We've had already Chloe walking off, an argument was building,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06and I simply said, "No, Chloe, the rule is you have to join in."
0:07:06 > 0:07:09And she accepted that and she stepped up.
0:07:09 > 0:07:15It was almost cut through it, stop this escalating drama and just tell it as it is and move on.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19So when you say no, she does it.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- If you say left, they'll lift the left, if you say right, they'll lift the right.- Left.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Right.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29We don't know which is left and right now.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34It's great to see her working with Cathy and Beano and having a really good time.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- We're going...- Excellent! That's right.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Three times you fell.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Three times.
0:07:42 > 0:07:47Come to your crates. You're going to use these crates to get from here to those red cones at the far end.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51This particular game is called crates, for obvious reasons,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54and literally we just need to move the crates together as a team, one by one,
0:07:54 > 0:08:00so it's going to be, in other words, lots of people huddling together on a small amount of space.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02They're going to have to hug one another.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- No!- What do you mean?- I won't pull you over.- Yes, you will.
0:08:05 > 0:08:11For some it will be the first time they've actually been in close contact for maybe even years.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Grab a hold of each other.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Move!- Your hand's in the way. I can't move.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Good now.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32You're useless!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Move! Do you think I'm going to stand in that wee space?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Where do you want me to go? - Closer to the edge.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I'll tip it over.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Oh, no! - I'm not going back to get you.
0:08:46 > 0:08:52One of the things I really noticed with Ciara is that she really is quite disengaged from her mum.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Cos you won't let me hold on to you properly!
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- If you'd let me hold on to you properly... - Oh, my God, I'm going mad!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Come here, now, come on!
0:09:00 > 0:09:06It must be quite tough as a parent watching that, you think, "Oh, I kind of feel for her mum."
0:09:06 > 0:09:09No, get off me!
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Amanda can see that Siobhan's really hurt by what's just happened with Ciara.
0:09:17 > 0:09:22A game which should have been fun has simply highlighted the rift between them,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25leaving Siobhan struggling to hold on to her emotions.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27She just pushed me away like that.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29How long's it been like that for?
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Quite a while.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37Was there any one thing that prompted it or was there an incident, anything like that?
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- No...she...as a child she was very clingy to me...- Mm-hm.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45And, you know, went everywhere with me and always wanted me to be there
0:09:45 > 0:09:48and always wanted to know where I was and...
0:09:48 > 0:09:53- Does she hug and kiss people at all? - Her friends.- So she's very touchy-feely with her friends?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- It's not that that's the way she is all the time with everybody.- Yeah.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- Just feel like she doesn't want me to be there.- Mmm.
0:10:00 > 0:10:06Although it hasn't always been that way, things have been hard going at home for 14-year-old Ciara
0:10:06 > 0:10:09and her mum Siobhan for a few years now.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11It can be very difficult at times.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15We don't have the best relationship
0:10:15 > 0:10:18and communication can be very poor.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- You'll be in a 9.45. - Yeah, I should be.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- No, you will be, Ciara! - Yeah, all right, I should be.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- No, should be and will be are two different things. - No, it's not, shut up!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31'She thinks that we can't talk at all.'
0:10:31 > 0:10:34She's said in the past that we have nothing in common.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37"I can't have a conversation with you," she says, "We've nothing to talk about it."
0:10:37 > 0:10:42- 9.45.- Right! Jesus Christ!- And will you let me know where you're going before you go.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44'I just couldn't imagine it.'
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Couldn't imagine being able to talk to me?- No!
0:10:49 > 0:10:50I just don't want to.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53I could talk to you, but I don't want to.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08It would probably be, like, easier if we got on better...
0:11:10 > 0:11:12..like me and Mummy.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- It would be a happier family life for everyone, wouldn't it?- Yeah.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26In their shared pursuit of that elusive happy family life,
0:11:26 > 0:11:27back at Greenhill
0:11:27 > 0:11:30the parents are meeting together for the first time
0:11:30 > 0:11:33with clinical psychologist Dr Raman Kapur.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Perhaps difficult for you to start?
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Or expecting me to start?
0:11:47 > 0:11:51- Expecting you... - Expecting you to start.- OK.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55'In terms of my style for conducting a group session,
0:11:55 > 0:12:01'my kind of main message really to the group is, "I'm going to wait and see.'
0:12:01 > 0:12:04"You bring what you can to the group
0:12:04 > 0:12:07"and I will do my best to understand it
0:12:07 > 0:12:10"and say something about what I think is happening in the room."
0:12:10 > 0:12:13But it's not only about waiting and seeing.
0:12:13 > 0:12:19It's also about giving the patient a chance to see that they have a lot to contribute themselves.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Don't put it all into me. You have a lot of intuition,
0:12:22 > 0:12:26you have a lot of experience you bring to the room and that can be shared.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28And then you've got a working group.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Ciara and I had a good time this morning at the activities,
0:12:33 > 0:12:39but there was a bit of an issue with the second game that we played,
0:12:39 > 0:12:44because it involved us actually physically holding on to one another.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48That's something Ciara really doesn't like...
0:12:48 > 0:12:54is me touching her or showing affection or anything like that,
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- so it was difficult for me that one. - Mmm.
0:12:58 > 0:13:04Like Chloe, at the start, even the games today she didn't really want to participate.
0:13:04 > 0:13:10But then the second one and with Chloe jumping across a crate to hold on to me,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14she started giving me a hug too, you know what I mean?
0:13:14 > 0:13:20That's the first time, like, she's even been that close to me or even spending time...
0:13:20 > 0:13:28I mean, I think the whole rejection-acceptance sort of line is very tricky,
0:13:28 > 0:13:32because of course you want to feel accepted and be accepted,
0:13:32 > 0:13:36but then when the person you're approaching is pushing you away,
0:13:36 > 0:13:42it's a horrible feeling, particularly as a parent, to feel that you're not wanted.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46You ask yourself what did I do wrong? Where am I going wrong?
0:13:46 > 0:13:50You know... what's next or what can I do next?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54The difficult thing to do is take the hits and understand.
0:13:54 > 0:14:00You know, the normal reaction of course is to retaliate or go away.
0:14:00 > 0:14:06And maybe by the end of the work with me, if you can put a wee bit of understanding into it,
0:14:06 > 0:14:08you can begin to see why they're doing what they're doing.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Unfortunately, kids, particularly teenagers will hit you where it hurts.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17They'll find your Achilles' Heel and it's just trying to remember that adolescents
0:14:17 > 0:14:19are at their peak of finding your Achilles' Heel.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26Rachel's family consultations are designed to help the parents and their teens
0:14:26 > 0:14:29work together on understanding what's gone wrong.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Making it practical like this mask-making session for Siobhan and Ciara
0:14:33 > 0:14:37takes the focus off the need to talk directly to each other.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40We all have like an external mask that we show to the world.
0:14:40 > 0:14:46What goes with that external mask is a whole load of feelings and thoughts that we keep inside.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51So I just wanted to do something today to just explore that a little bit and talk about it.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53'With the mask session, what I was hoping
0:14:53 > 0:14:57'is just to open up discussions around what they're like as people,
0:14:57 > 0:15:02'both the outwards mask that they present to friends and family,'
0:15:02 > 0:15:04but also what's going on underneath that
0:15:04 > 0:15:08and to just start to talk about emotions
0:15:08 > 0:15:12and some of the more sensitive issues that are going on for them at the moment.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- Does that seem relevant to the situation?- Very relevant actually,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19because when the cameras came into the house...
0:15:19 > 0:15:25"As soon as those cameras are here, you put on your telephone voice! You don't speak normally!"
0:15:25 > 0:15:29What's different about Mum's telephone voice, the kind of voice...?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Cos it's fake!
0:15:31 > 0:15:36Right. Right... So thinking about Mum's mask, then, to start with,
0:15:36 > 0:15:42what of these items, is there anything that would stand out that for you would be on Mum's mask?
0:15:43 > 0:15:44No.
0:15:44 > 0:15:50No? So what sorts of things would we be thinking about for her mask?
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Just plain, black and white.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Right, OK.
0:15:53 > 0:15:59In terms of Ciara's mask, what do you think would stand out on the table or...?
0:15:59 > 0:16:01- All bright things.- Ah?
0:16:01 > 0:16:07Because she really has a bright personality, I think, you know.
0:16:07 > 0:16:13Although her and I don't have a great connection, she has a great connection with everybody else...
0:16:13 > 0:16:15you know.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20Would you agree with Mum about your mask being a colourful one?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I think so, yeah.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30OK. Do you want to dive in and have a go at trying
0:16:30 > 0:16:35to create the outside of the mask that others might see?
0:16:35 > 0:16:36When you were talking
0:16:36 > 0:16:39about Ciara's connection with other people, Siobhan,
0:16:39 > 0:16:44I noticed it was kind of an emotional subject.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Yeah.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Shouldn't the best connection you have be with your mother?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Right.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57That's a strong connection that you have with your mum.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Yeah.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07For you, Ciara, can you see that changing?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09I suppose so.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13OK. You're not sounding too convinced.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15It's just a bit weird.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Mmm...can you talk me through the masks, then?
0:17:17 > 0:17:20They've ended up looking very similar.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- Is that the way you would see Mum, the way she's done her mask?- No!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- It sounded a bit different to what you described before.- Yeah.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34So if Mum was being more genuine, Ciara, what would that look like?
0:17:34 > 0:17:38I don't know how to explain it, but again colours,
0:17:38 > 0:17:45so it would be like greens and... I don't know, colours that make me think of outside, and browns...
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Oh?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Just like natural, you know...
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Ah...
0:17:52 > 0:17:53OK.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57'I sort of had an idea that Ciara thinks that...'
0:17:57 > 0:18:04I can be fake, at times. But I didn't realise how fake she thought I could be.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08I didn't realise how strongly she felt about it...
0:18:10 > 0:18:14Obviously it's a big issue. She thinks I'm...false.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18False and fake at the same time.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22So now we've a lot of work to do, I think.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27What do you think?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32I suppose.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40After their busy morning, you'd think everybody would be hungry and ready for lunch.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45But at least one of these teenagers is such a fussy eater, he can't find anything he likes on the menu.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Stop smelling it and eat it!- Shut up!
0:18:47 > 0:18:52Josh pretty much lives on a diet of pizza, pasta and cheese.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Does Amanda know you don't like it?
0:18:53 > 0:18:58The way that I work here and the kids have all signed up to it is...'
0:18:58 > 0:19:00you've got to try something on your plate.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02You try it, you don't like it, I'll come up with an alternative.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- You've tried it, though, haven't you?- Yeah, I've ate the top of it.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Try and eat a wee bit more of it and I'll go and see what else I can get.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09'This is nothing to do with nutrition.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11'This is actually just about basic discipline
0:19:11 > 0:19:13'and helping these families'
0:19:13 > 0:19:16find a workable way to three meals a day.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Everybody else is sitting down. You need to eat something.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- There's ordinary chicken up there. - I just don't like it, Mummy.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What would you like instead if you could choose something?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28'If the kid is pulling back and restricting how they're eating,'
0:19:28 > 0:19:33what they're eating, dictating how the family lives its life,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36it's really hard for the parents and the kids actually to find a way through.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- You've had nothing for breakfast. - Well, go and eat one and I'll pick something.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43- I have time, I'm just worried about you.- Go on and pick something... - I have something.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45- Well, go and eat it, then. - But I want you to eat along with me.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48I'll go and get something to eat if you go away and leave me alone!
0:19:50 > 0:19:54'Chloe's the only one right now that is really finding it tough.'
0:19:54 > 0:19:58But that's no surprise really because at home what she does is go into the cupboard,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00gets biscuits and crisps whenever she wants,
0:20:00 > 0:20:05doesn't eat with the family and she is the boss when it comes to food, not the parents.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08For the modern family mealtimes can be a total nightmare.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12We're rarely sitting down to eat together, our cupboards are full of snacks,
0:20:12 > 0:20:16everyone is demanding different meals and parents are simply giving in to the pressure.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19For these families it's no different.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23We're having cod tonight, though Josh'll probably have his usual pizza
0:20:23 > 0:20:26as he doesn't eat what everybody else eats.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- I never come home for dinner.- You should be coming home for dinner.
0:20:29 > 0:20:34- Do you want some of this?- Yeah.- Eh? - Waffles.- Do you want waffles?
0:20:34 > 0:20:39This year Christmas Day was the first day we all sat down and ate, but during the week, no...
0:20:39 > 0:20:42because I'm making three or four dinners at a time.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49It's not fair, but. They're saying eat, eat, eat, and I don't want to eat.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54There's nothing I even like anyway, it's all meat and stuff, it turns my stomach.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56My stomach was already turning anyway.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03It's Beano who manages to persuade Chloe to rejoin the group.
0:21:05 > 0:21:10Events over lunch have confirmed Amanda's worries about food and mealtimes being an issue,
0:21:10 > 0:21:12and she's about to set another test for the families.
0:21:12 > 0:21:20Tonight, you're all cooking for yourselves in your individual chalets.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21You've got three different menus here.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Healthy fish and chips, spaghetti bolognese or homemade pizza.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29The kids are going to help cook and you're going to do it together.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34It's one meal that everyone is having, so come to the compromise.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39- I don't like any of them. - What about fish and chips? - No, I don't any of them.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- You know I don't. You can't force me. - The thing is...
0:21:42 > 0:21:44You dare!
0:21:44 > 0:21:49I'm not going to eat it. I just don't want any pizza.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- There's three different things... - I don't want anything.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55- What's the decision here? - Healthy fish, chips and peas.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- She doesn't eat spaghetti bolognese. - I don't like fish either!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03OK, parents, you're going to have to be the parents here and just make the decision.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- We have.- We have. This is it.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Healthy fish.- No fish!
0:22:07 > 0:22:08You're not giving me fish!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- That's all right. - You know I'm not going to eat it.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Do you know what? I'm going to make it, I'm going to put it out,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16so if you don't want to eat it, you'll starve!
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- Even eat the chips and peas without the fish.- Can you eat the chips?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I will let you starve, Chloe, because it's the only way.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Then you'll wake up and you'll be hungry.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29Cathy and Beano are trying hard to stand firm and present a united front,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32something Chloe's not used to.
0:22:32 > 0:22:38Josh's food fads have meant Naomi's had to compromise too and she's seriously annoyed.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42I want the fish and chips but I have to keep him happy because he doesn't eat.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- You said you were fine with it. - No, I didn't say I was fine with it.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- I had to say I was fine. - You said you were fine with it.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51Yeah, but if we had had the fish and chips then you'd have been happy and he'd have been sad
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- and it would have been the same. - Yes, so why do I always have to lose?
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- You don't even eat at home! - What is the big deal?
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Each with their own issues, the teens will see clinical psychologist Dr Rachel Andrew
0:23:04 > 0:23:08on an individual basis across the week. Chloe's first.
0:23:08 > 0:23:16I guess for me I was wondering about what you thought the main difficulties were
0:23:16 > 0:23:17for you in your family.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19My behaviour.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Your behaviour?
0:23:21 > 0:23:22OK.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27What is it about your behaviour?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Being cheeky and that.
0:23:30 > 0:23:36OK. I was just thinking, if we were to write like a shopping list...
0:23:36 > 0:23:40of things that you would hope would be different by the end of the week,
0:23:40 > 0:23:42would that be all right?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Could we do that? OK.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49So if we had a list and we called this our list of problems...
0:23:49 > 0:23:53..would you have being cheeky on there as number one?
0:23:53 > 0:24:00- Ah, right. Is that the thing that Mummy says is the biggest problem for her?- Sometimes.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03OK. And do you think it's a problem for you?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Why?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Cos you're trying to hold it in, but you'll still be cheeky.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13So on our list, our shopping list, we've got being cheeky...
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- Being friendly with people, like being nice...- Instead?
0:24:17 > 0:24:21- Instead, be nice to people instead of being cheeky all the time.- Right.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Do you find that hard?
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- No, not really.- So you think you could be nice to other people?
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I'm being nice to Naomi, why can I not be nice to my mammy?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Mmm.- There's a problem, but.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I'll be nice to other people, but not nice to my mammy.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Mmm. And Beano? Or is that something you're too bothered about?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47No?
0:24:47 > 0:24:48OK.
0:24:55 > 0:25:01Cos when your mum was talking about Beano she seemed to be thinking that he really made an effort with you.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03is that the way that you see things?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05I don't know.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14'"I don't know" comes up a lot in sessions, and especially with teenagers,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17'and that can be for a whole host of reasons.'
0:25:17 > 0:25:21"I don't know" is just a stock answer that people will use,
0:25:21 > 0:25:26rather than think about something that's quite complicated or messy or difficult.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31A bit complicated.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Chloe's clammed up at the mention of Beano.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Clearly there's work to be done, but for now that's enough.
0:25:39 > 0:25:44After the intensity of the psychotherapy sessions, the teens will need a release.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48They're getting the chance to try out the equipment they've been eyeing up since they arrived.
0:25:48 > 0:25:54Being an outdoor centre, here at Greenhill there are some seriously challenging things to do,
0:25:54 > 0:25:56and one of them is something called the Leap Of Faith,
0:25:56 > 0:26:01which is like a totem pole that you climb up, quite high,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05and you stand and you jump off. obviously, you've got a rope attached to you...
0:26:05 > 0:26:08and leap to hold on to what is like a trapeze.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13- I'm scared!- All you've got to do is put your hands up high and jump and grab it. Are you ready?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- Let's go.- Three, two, one.
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Aaargh!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18It looks terrifying.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22And we're going to ask the teens to do it.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Lots of reasons why. Of course these things build an incredible amount of self-confidence,
0:26:26 > 0:26:28team spirit, people encouraging one another...
0:26:28 > 0:26:30- Are you ready?- Don't worry.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32- Up you go.- OK.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I'm going to do this.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35I'm going to do it.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- Oh, my God! - Go on, you're going great.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40I'm really, really scared.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Mummy!
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Save me!
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Go on, give your sister some encouragement.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- You're actually just like one more step away.- That's it.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54There's no point coming back down when you've already got so far.
0:26:54 > 0:27:00- She's shaking.- Keep breathing, Naomi, it stops your legs shaking like that.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Go on, go on, just stand up tall.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Stand up, push hard.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Excellent.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Go on, go on!
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Mummy, Mummy, stand here and say. "You're jumping into my arms, baby girl!"
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Come on, baby, Mummy's here.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I can't stand up.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- You're nearly there. - Just a couple of big deep breaths. Don't overthink it.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24- Just a couple of deep breaths and stand up.- Well done, darling. - Excellent, excellent.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26That's it. Just stand up straight.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30- You'll be a lot more stable once you're stood up.- Yeah!- Good.
0:27:30 > 0:27:35One, two, three...
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Jump!
0:27:36 > 0:27:38CHEERING
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Get me down!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45That's the scariest thing I've ever done, ever!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48You did it. You should be so proud of yourself.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Sure...
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- Go, Ciara!- Are you ready?
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Yes!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Oh, yes, oh, yeah.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Up you go.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00- You want to go again?- Well done.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Making it look easy, Ciara's even dropped the sulky teenager persona.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09It looks like the boards are going to come off!
0:28:13 > 0:28:15It's shaking!
0:28:15 > 0:28:17LAUGHTER
0:28:22 > 0:28:26Not wanting to put Ciara off, Siobhan is watching from a distance.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29- Go on, do it.- One, two, three.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Jump!
0:28:31 > 0:28:32CHEERING
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Let go!
0:28:36 > 0:28:37OK, just let go.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41- Oh!- You don't have to grab your butt on the way down! It's all right.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Oh!
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Fantastic! Well done! Excellent.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Cathy is seeing Raman in a one-on-one for the first time.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55She's making a real effort to try and understand the root of Chloe's problems.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57I've been thinking...
0:28:57 > 0:28:59you know, was it because Beano has come into her life?
0:28:59 > 0:29:01It's not me and her.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05We've never sat down and...
0:29:06 > 0:29:09..really thought about it in that kind of way.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14You know, I do spend my time with Chloe, you know.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17She's just such a special gift to me,
0:29:17 > 0:29:21because I was bred with my granny and two uncles...
0:29:22 > 0:29:27..and Chloe was only ten weeks old when my grandmother died.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33And...then the two uncles died.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36And it was just me and her, you know.
0:29:36 > 0:29:40And I speak about them all the time there, you know,
0:29:40 > 0:29:42and I remember one night we were sitting, the two of us, and she was just...
0:29:42 > 0:29:48the memory, that was a good memory, and we were looking out the window,
0:29:48 > 0:29:50she was going to bed and looking out the window and seeing the moon...
0:29:50 > 0:29:55and I remember saying, you know, "Look at that moon there."
0:29:55 > 0:29:59And she said, "Is that my granny, my Uncle Joe and Charlie looking down at me?"
0:29:59 > 0:30:01You know, the memory's lovely.
0:30:01 > 0:30:06- So she had the three moons looking down at her...- Aye.
0:30:06 > 0:30:12Now she's got three rivals, so it's a bit of a jump for her
0:30:12 > 0:30:17to adjust to being so special, being in the moonlight three times,
0:30:17 > 0:30:21to really being pushed out of the limelight, I think.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Not through any fault of your own now,
0:30:23 > 0:30:29but it's just tough for any child to adapt to that shift.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33But she doesn't get treated any lesser.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37In fact, she'll probably get more attention off me, do you know what I mean?
0:30:37 > 0:30:39I think you do try very hard to do that,
0:30:39 > 0:30:42and I think you do keep it in mind,
0:30:42 > 0:30:48but I think the reality is that no matter how much you do, it can never be the same as before.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Because once she gets upset and there's a fight,
0:30:51 > 0:30:54she does become the centre of your attention because she has to be.
0:30:54 > 0:31:00So, in a sense, I'm not suggesting that you kind of give up in any way,
0:31:00 > 0:31:08but it may be there's that legacy from the past that she can quickly feel excluded...
0:31:08 > 0:31:11because it wasn't what it was like before.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18I don't know, maybe that's her paying back now, as you say...
0:31:18 > 0:31:20for being made so special.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Realising that...
0:31:25 > 0:31:29I don't even think she realised... I don't even think we realised it...
0:31:31 > 0:31:37- ..that this is what it's got to do with now.- Yeah, so this is all going on very powerfully, you know,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39hidden in her mind and, er...
0:31:39 > 0:31:46- I think the more you're aware of it, the more able...- To control it now.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50- Yeah, to help her move on... - Aye, definitely.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Definitely.
0:31:54 > 0:32:00Just one hour with Raman has helped Cathy see what's been staring her in the face all along.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02It's a moment of revelation for her.
0:32:05 > 0:32:10It's amazing when somebody sits down and talks with you and sort of puts things straight to your head,
0:32:10 > 0:32:13you know, straight into you, that you don't realise.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18I'm at least going to try.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25Cos it was us on our own for so long that I spoiled her so much and made her so special...
0:32:25 > 0:32:29When the other children came along and Beano came along, it...
0:32:29 > 0:32:32she thought she was left out.
0:32:38 > 0:32:39Heartbreaking.
0:32:49 > 0:32:54I feel as if it's all my fault now, the way she is now.
0:33:15 > 0:33:20Agreeing to make pizza for dinner was one of today's easier conversations for Siobhan and Ciara,
0:33:20 > 0:33:23and things are going pretty well in the kitchen.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25- More tomato puree.- A bit more.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28It's a thing that we wouldn't do very often is cook together,
0:33:28 > 0:33:32so it's an easy thing actually for everybody to take part in,
0:33:32 > 0:33:35so, yeah, it would be a good idea to make it a regular thing, I think.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- Can I put the mushrooms on?- On mine? - Yeah.- Yes, of course.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I like the feel of mushrooms.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47And Naomi has managed to put aside her annoyance with Josh.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Have you only used one tube?
0:33:49 > 0:33:51No, you're using the rest of my tube.
0:33:51 > 0:33:56Naomi said she was fine with it, even though she wasn't really fine with it, she wanted fish and chips.
0:33:56 > 0:34:01She decided she would take one for the team and make pizza.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03It's just there...
0:34:03 > 0:34:06Fresh fish and sweet potato are totally new to Cathy's kids,
0:34:06 > 0:34:10and showing a real change in attitude since lunchtime, Chloe's giving it a go.
0:34:10 > 0:34:17Even getting all the kids sitting at the table at the same time to eat the same meal is real progress.
0:34:18 > 0:34:24But three-year-old Reise's refusal to try the fish is suddenly the final straw for Beano
0:34:24 > 0:34:28who's struggling himself with the unfamiliar diet and can't see the point of it.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31- Do you want some?- No! - Do you want more fish?
0:34:31 > 0:34:33I don't want nothing either.
0:34:33 > 0:34:38- The fish is nearly done.- I wouldn't even that to my dog, Cath!
0:34:38 > 0:34:43- Oh, just stop your...- That wean's sitting eating fucking peas!
0:34:43 > 0:34:46You might as well count them when you're eating them!
0:34:46 > 0:34:50But we know at the end of the day you have to eat it.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54- They don't have to eat it, they have to try it.- They'll try it, aye!
0:34:54 > 0:34:59One, two, three, four, five...
0:34:59 > 0:35:02- There, you see?- None!
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- Don't eat them, then! - You can have more if you want.
0:35:11 > 0:35:16- That's food?- Go on and give it a rest, will you?
0:35:16 > 0:35:21- Just give it a rest!- Give what a rest?- Just give it a rest! - Give what a rest?
0:35:21 > 0:35:23- The way you're going on.- I'm just going on the way I'm going on!
0:35:23 > 0:35:30- It's all about Chloe!- It seems to be all about you!- It's nothing to do with me, nothing to do with us!
0:35:30 > 0:35:34We're not on no diet. Are we on a diet? Are we healthy?
0:35:34 > 0:35:38I'm a 42-year-old man and they want me to eat healthy food!
0:35:38 > 0:35:42And I'm eating so-what kind of food all my life?
0:35:42 > 0:35:44That's fine!
0:35:46 > 0:35:50Why don't you take a walk and calm yourself down?
0:35:50 > 0:35:52- I am calm!- No, you're not.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Just take yourself away! Go off somewhere.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00- I'm going to sit here.- Oh, right?
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Where's Chloe?
0:36:04 > 0:36:07He's a 42-year-old man! He doesn't want to eat healthy, look!
0:36:07 > 0:36:10It's not just, like, us. Mum is eating fairly light.
0:36:10 > 0:36:16In the heat of the moment the fact that Chloe ate her dinner has gone completely unnoticed.
0:36:16 > 0:36:17Right there.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Where is it?
0:36:20 > 0:36:21Get it open.
0:36:24 > 0:36:28It's the end of a long day, but only the start of the week,
0:36:28 > 0:36:31and already there are clear developments to be seen.
0:36:31 > 0:36:35While the families have some fun and forget about their worries,
0:36:35 > 0:36:38the experts meet to contemplate the day's events.
0:36:39 > 0:36:43It has been a momentous day of change and drama.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45I want to start with Ciara and her mum.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49Do you feel like they're coming back together a little bit?
0:36:49 > 0:36:52I think it's going to be a gradual process,
0:36:52 > 0:36:55but certainly in the session I had with them both today,
0:36:55 > 0:37:01just the fact that they were sat in a room together trying to manage a conversation like that,
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I felt was a step forward.
0:37:07 > 0:37:11I think Cathy has definitely got that capacity to think things through
0:37:11 > 0:37:17and she was beginning to understand how complicated it is for Chloe to be part of this new family,
0:37:17 > 0:37:20and so, yes, I think there's potential there with Cathy.
0:37:25 > 0:37:31What I'd be hoping is that if the parents can change their state of mind to the kids,
0:37:31 > 0:37:35be more understanding and more receptive, almost be a bit cooler...
0:37:37 > 0:37:42I'd agree, and I think if we were to see changes in the parents,
0:37:42 > 0:37:46then there would be a knock-on effect with the children as well.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52It's quite a bitter pill for the parents to swallow though
0:37:52 > 0:37:55if they think, "Hold on a minute, this is me, I created this."
0:37:55 > 0:38:00They came here thinking, "I've got a problem teenager. I want that teenager to be fixed!"
0:38:00 > 0:38:04- Yeah.- And we're saying, "Actually, here's a mirror, here's your problem!"
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Next time, the group gets down and dirty...
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Naomi's in the firing line...
0:38:11 > 0:38:14It's always me, they all gang up on me at once
0:38:14 > 0:38:17and tell me what I'm doing wrong all the time.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19There's a revelation from Chloe...
0:38:19 > 0:38:22- You're scared? - I'm scared of when he...
0:38:22 > 0:38:24And a breakthrough for Ciara and Siobhan.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd