0:00:02 > 0:00:04What happens to our cute kids?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06One minute they're sweet and adorable.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Before you know it, they've morphed into moody teenagers.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12He's just useless.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Struggling with adolescence...
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Get out of my fucking room!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Leaving their parents wondering exactly where did they go wrong?
0:00:21 > 0:00:22Just piss off!
0:00:22 > 0:00:26Sat down, can't keep her knickers on.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Just shut up!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30These families are suffering serious teen trouble.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Desperate for change, they've signed up for a week-long retreat
0:00:36 > 0:00:39away from their usual routines and home comforts
0:00:39 > 0:00:41in a bid to learn their lives around.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46The location, Newcastle, County Down,
0:00:46 > 0:00:47where an expert team awaits.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Together they will push them to their limits.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I'll fucking have you fucking bastards!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56In an attempt to rebuild their confidence
0:00:56 > 0:00:57CHEERING
0:00:57 > 0:00:59and their relationships.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01But can they step up to the challenge
0:01:01 > 0:01:03and grasp this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Aaarrrghhh!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Already on this week-long retreat, tensions have run high.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Right foot forward. - Right foot?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- There's no point getting cross. - Oh my God!
0:01:48 > 0:01:49What you going to do?
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Having to work together and cooperate has resulted in rows...
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- It's all about Chloe! - It's all about you!
0:01:55 > 0:01:59It's nothing to do with me! It's nothing to do with us. We're not on no diets.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- ..tears...- Didn't think it was going to be as hard as what it is.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04..and tantrums.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Leave me alone!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- Just let me hold on to you properly. - Oh my God!
0:02:11 > 0:02:15And professional therapy sessions have laid emotions bare.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Shouldn't the best connection you have be with your mother?
0:02:22 > 0:02:25For Chloe, mum Cathy and stepdad Beano
0:02:25 > 0:02:30this is a chance to work on what causes all the aggro at home.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Why you sitting up here?- GET OUT!
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Chloe finds home life tough.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38With younger sister Orla and little brother Reece
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Chloe often feels unfairly blamed
0:02:40 > 0:02:43and angry strops are a part of daily life.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47The reality of not being in touch with her own dad
0:02:47 > 0:02:48plays on Chloe's mind,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51meaning her relationship with Beano is often strained.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57I can't take it that them two have their daddy and I don't know where mine is.
0:02:57 > 0:03:03I tell him to get the hell and go up to my room. Slam the door and then start booting myself.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Mum Siobhan and daughter Ciara haven't got on for years.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And communication between the two is practically non existent.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- Come and sit in here. - I don't want to!- Why?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Cos I don't like you. - Look, Ciara.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- You don't like me?- No.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Siobhan is desperate to see the fun side of Ciara again
0:03:23 > 0:03:27and hopes that this week she'll learn how to get the best out of her troubled teen.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Desperate to stop warring sisters Naomi and Rachel
0:03:33 > 0:03:34from tearing the whole family apart,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37mum of three Andrea and son Josh,
0:03:37 > 0:03:40worn down by the constant fighting...
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Why can't you just get out? - No!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45..long for harmonious home life.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I don't have any emotions any more.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Because if they're emotional I'm emotional. It'll collapse.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58It's a new day.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04But familiar problems for mum Cathy.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Chloe's in bad form this morning. She's wanting to go home.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- I do want to go home. - What do you want to go home for?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- I don't want to stay here. - Why?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Just don't. - You know what I think it is?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21There's no TV in my room and that's not fair.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23We're not here to watch TV.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- I told you... - That's not fair!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28You aren't here for a holiday.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- It's a good thing. - It's not a good thing.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- It is a good thing. - No, it isn't!
0:04:33 > 0:04:37I didn't say a thing, Chloe. I just said a tiny thing.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38That's all.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45- Is it getting too much for you? - Aye. Too much stress.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- What's the struggle, what's the stress?- Just stressed.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51You don't think I'm stressed?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Chloe's diagnosed attention deficit disorder
0:04:55 > 0:04:57means she has a short attention span
0:04:57 > 0:04:59and suffers from mood swings.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Cathy is desperate to convince Chloe why it is they've come on this retreat.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08This is our time, me, you and Beano. Family time.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Some family this is!
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Family time!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13BOTH SHOUT AT ONCE
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I'm not doing the outdoor pursuits. I'm not doing it.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24Chloe's refusal to do outdoor pursuits leaves mum Cathy feeling powerless.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28You don't think right when it's early in the morning
0:05:28 > 0:05:32and she's arguing and fighting and going on at you.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34You to try to reason with her.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39I'm going to leave her now, see if she calms down. See what way she'll be.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- SIGHING:- Teenagers!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51The various issues between family members
0:05:51 > 0:05:53can be a source of constant stress.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Visiting expert Mike Radford specialises in relaxation techniques.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Today, Mike will show the group how to recognise the symptoms
0:06:03 > 0:06:05and give them simple coping mechanisms.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10In life, we all get a lot of problems.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13You get problems in school.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14We get problems at home.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18And we get problems for the mums and dads at work.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21You're on a constant state of alert.
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Is Mum going to tell me off?
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Are the kids going to say they're not going to bed on time?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Now all of these little scenarios are taking place in our lives.
0:06:30 > 0:06:35If my daughter is about to argue with me, I'm ready for her.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39But the problem is, she's ready for me as well.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42It doesn't need to be that way.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46So can I get you to close your eyes.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51I'm going to close mine cos I find if I do it as well it's a bit easier.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53So all I want you to do if you can,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56just quietly be aware of your breathing.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00I'm a psychotherapist but this is a specialised part of the work
0:07:00 > 0:07:04where you do teach all clients how to relax
0:07:04 > 0:07:07and how to just get some control
0:07:07 > 0:07:09over their body symptoms
0:07:09 > 0:07:14because when we're stressed most people think they are out of control.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Just hand on your stomach.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18So breathe in for a count of five.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22One, two, three, four, five.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Now breathe out for a count of six. One, two, three...
0:07:27 > 0:07:29When we're in a stress situation,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32essentially what happens, the fight flight operates.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36The fight flight has been given to us in order to keep us all safe.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40So whenever we are going into a fearful situation,
0:07:40 > 0:07:45my heart will beat faster, my breathing will get a bit shallower.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49But I'm ready to deal with whatever's going to come my way.
0:07:50 > 0:07:55So what we will be showing our participants is when they are relaxed,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57they will be able to cope with that.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00OK, let's come back to the room again.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02If we do that too long you'll fall asleep.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04And that's a good thing to do
0:08:04 > 0:08:07whenever we get anxious.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12You have to practise it in order for it to work for you.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16I know you're going to learn a lot of things here this week.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20If you take this tour away with you, it will also help you
0:08:20 > 0:08:22not only just this week but through your life.
0:08:25 > 0:08:30Absolutely. My body's just in this state.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33That's so relaxing, isn't it?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Yes!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39While the parents are embracing these new techniques,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41some of the teens look sceptical.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Next time Mummy starts to go off on one,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49breathe.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- Just breathe. - Right.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Despite just having done a relaxation class,
0:08:56 > 0:09:00the squabbling between sisters Naomi and Rachel is ever-present.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02What are you talking about, Rachel?
0:09:02 > 0:09:07Let her speak, Naomi. That's rude. Don't do that.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- What you saying, Rachel? - Nothing.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Breathe...
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Sisters Rachel and Naomi have not got on for years.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26How was your day, Rache?
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Personality wise, Rachel is very different from her sister Naomi
0:09:32 > 0:09:35and tensions between them often get out of hand.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37As Rachel struggles to express how she feels.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Hey! Hey!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46To me, stomping around and stuff
0:09:46 > 0:09:49is my way of letting people know there's something wrong.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Because I can't really say it in words.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55So it'll be my way of trying to tell you that I need to talk
0:09:55 > 0:09:59but I can't say it, I don't know why.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I'm not good with that kind of thing.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09After this morning's relaxation session,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11a row erupted in the Crilley cabin
0:10:11 > 0:10:15when Rachel challenged Naomi on the way she talks over her all the time.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Psychologist Rachel Andrew has been called to speak to Naomi
0:10:19 > 0:10:22who is upset at having her behaviour called into question.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26What's happening and what's going on? What's happening?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Mum and Josh all gang up on me at once.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Telling me what I'm doing wrong all the time.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Say I have to change.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Do all the stuff. I can't do all of it at once.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42No.
0:10:42 > 0:10:47Rachel just says, "Naomi, stop crying. There's no need for this."
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- I just can't keep it in. - Yeah.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52It's just got a bit too much today.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59What usually helps when you feel like this?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Just need to try and calm down.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06How do you do that?
0:11:07 > 0:11:13I don't even... After I start swearing and banging and stuff.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16I just have to sit down and calm down.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18When we start to feel angry,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21what ends up happening is just adrenalin starts surging through our body.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26And it's because in your mind you've perceived a threat
0:11:26 > 0:11:28so this adrenalin is pumping through your body
0:11:28 > 0:11:31and it's trying to prepare your body to either fight or to run away.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Even though Ramon said breathe and all.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40It's really hard to get out of that state to do all this stuff.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42To try and calm down.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47I was trying to approach the subject very very gently.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Because Rachel had been up till two o'clock with me, very emotional.
0:11:51 > 0:11:56Very hurt by what she perceived the way Naomi treats her.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Rachel has been mulling this over for a long time.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03And she's now ready to say it.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05And the timing just clashes.
0:12:05 > 0:12:10- Wow. And I imagine it goes... - Form zero to 100 in a second.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Right.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14And that's what we deal with on a daily basis.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Clinical psychologist Ramon's morning session
0:12:21 > 0:12:23is a chance for Andrea to share with the group
0:12:23 > 0:12:25what's been happening between her daughters.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31I was up till two o'clock this morning with Rachel.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36She opened up and told me things that I didn't know. And...
0:12:38 > 0:12:40I just went to bed with a big smile on my face.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You know, we've had that time.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45And she felt she could talk to me,
0:12:45 > 0:12:50cos Rachel usually just keeps things inside.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53And of course it caused a big argument this morning
0:12:53 > 0:12:56but it's good that it's out there.
0:12:57 > 0:13:04And that Rachel feels that she can put words to the emotions now.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09And not just be angry but not tell anybody why she's angry.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13She's now putting words to it. And saying this is how I feel.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16And it's not right that you treat me like this.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I don't want to be treated like this.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22I'm hoping before the end of the week that'll happen for me too.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I've been waiting three years on Ciara talking to me.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30It's going to be a long road for me because Chloe's only 13.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32It might take me another three years.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- And we have to be OK with that. - Have to be.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37And relax!
0:13:37 > 0:13:40That does take a lot of thought, you know.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Because you are all carrying around a lot of stuff.
0:13:44 > 0:13:50Which then puts you in an agitated desperate state of mind.
0:13:50 > 0:13:56I think that desperation is borne out of a sense of failure or inadequacy.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Which I think is part of parenting.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02But if it's very intense
0:14:02 > 0:14:06it can leave you feeling you got to get in there.
0:14:08 > 0:14:15Whereas perhaps the best way is to back off, be thoughtful, be available.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19And make sure I protect the emotional and physical availability.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22I think there's two availabilities that you've described very well.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Quietly being available but also physically being available.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34The therapy sessions everyone is taking part in are extremely insightful.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39But outdoor pursuits can be as revealing.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Today's big outdoor challenge will be their toughest yet.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Provided they all get to the start point in one piece.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56One of the big goals this week is that the families start working together
0:14:56 > 0:14:59really well as a unit, cooperating and communicating well.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02So we've chosen an activity of orienteering.
0:15:02 > 0:15:08The weather's not great so I'm expecting a little bit of a kick back
0:15:08 > 0:15:10but I do hope they show determination and work together.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Outdoor activities expert Ian Bailey
0:15:14 > 0:15:17is taking the families deep into Tollymore Forest.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23What we're going to do is let you run free in the forest a bit this afternoon.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25We're going to give you some maps.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Teams will be given four different maps
0:15:27 > 0:15:30to find four different letters which they must retrieve one at a time.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33The letters spell the treat they will get later on.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37So you have four different maps, four different letters.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Work out what the word is. Any questions?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43A simple task with a simple goal
0:15:43 > 0:15:47but will working with the nearest and dearest bring out all the usual tensions?
0:15:51 > 0:15:55I would rather sit here in the rain. No!
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Straight off, there's dissension in the ranks.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Come on with me and do this.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- Shut up.- Ciara!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- I need your help to do it. - I don't care!
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Chloe's mum Cathy is back at base resting.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Which means it's down to her and stepdad Beano to work together.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I'm going to tell you something, we're going to win.
0:16:13 > 0:16:20We don't have my mammy here. Seriously. I'd rather be back in with my mammy.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25And with no fuss at all, the Crilley family take the lead and head off.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Ready? Away you go. Best of luck.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31After some gentle persuasion from Beano,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Chloe decides to get involved.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38A welcome turnaround on this morning's point-blank refusal to take part.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42And Mum Siobhan is not taking no for an answer.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- I want you to come with me.- Right, shut up and I'll go!- Come on.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Fuck's sake!
0:16:51 > 0:16:55It's not long before confusion leads to bickering amongst the Crilley family.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Is that not one? That's one there.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03- It is but is that our one? - What do you mean is that our one?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I think we should go this way.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Our circle's not at the bend.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11So either the circle's wrong or we're wrong.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Everybody went in a different direction!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Do you think the map's upside down?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Once we get this first one we're going back.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Meanwhile Beano's not letting the rain dampen Chloe's spirits.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Around here. Keep your eyes open when we're walking round here.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Just in case we see one.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34I see one!
0:17:34 > 0:17:38And within no time, they find a flag.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40There's a few. Can you reach it?
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Bring them. They spell a word.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46It's C-C-C.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49With the flag and all the letters, they head back to Ian.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hey! Do you want the bad news?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55You guys have picked up every family's letter and the flag.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- You only need to pick up your own letter.- You don't take the flag?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00No, otherwise the next team won't see it.
0:18:00 > 0:18:06- You're going to have to run back, stick that back.- You didn't tell us!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09OK, then, I'm going to knock you out when I get back.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Horses! Horsey horsey horsey!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Do you think these things are on this track?- I don't know.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Despite Siobhan's best efforts, Ciara's still not interested.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Do you want to have a look at the map and see if we've come too far?
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- I'll keep walking. - I don't know how to read maps!
0:18:28 > 0:18:32Mum Siobhan has found the first letter but Ciara's had enough.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- We don't take that. - I'm not doing any more.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39I'm waiting till it's over and then I'm going.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- No, do the other ones with me, Ciara!- No!
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- Why?- Cos I already told you I don't fucking feel well!
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- We're supposed to be doing this together.- I don't care.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Eventually the Crilleys do find a bunch of letters.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01One. So we don't take the thing back, do you not?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Why, cos they need to see the letters?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08However, victory is short-lived.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11A map reading error means they've brought back the wrong letter.
0:19:11 > 0:19:17We walked the whole way round. There was nothing there!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It's definitely there.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23So you need to take that one back, go and put your A back down.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- And head up the way you were. - Why did no one believe me?
0:19:35 > 0:19:36- MAN:- What's wrong with you?
0:19:36 > 0:19:40- She says she feels sick. - I said I'm going to be sick.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- Do you just want to sit there?- Yeah.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Do you want me to do it on my own or stay with you?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- You can do it. - I will do what you want me to do.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Just do it. Just do it. - Is that what you want me to do?
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Just bloody do it. Do you think I'd be saying that if I didn't want you to?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- I just want to make sure. - OK. Go. I'll sit here.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I'm a bit annoyed that Ciara is not actually doing this with me.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16We're supposed to be doing it as a family.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20So you just wonder is she genuinely sick
0:20:20 > 0:20:24or is she using an excuse cos she doesn't want to do something with me.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26I don't know.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28This is what the problem is. I don't know.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35It's all got too much for mum Andrea,
0:20:35 > 0:20:38who's decided to bail out of the challenge.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42And if Mum's not doing it, neither is youngest daughter Rachel.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Taken one we thought was one, to be told to take it back again.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50To go find the right one.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52No, no.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I'll go and search, shall I?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Not happy but not given up, it's down to brother and sister team Naomi and Josh
0:20:59 > 0:21:01to finish the challenge together.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- We've been there.- He says, "It's definitely there." It's not there.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Although Chloe and Beano had a false start,
0:21:11 > 0:21:13remarkably they're getting on well.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Let me have the letters.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Thank you very much.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26So... What letters you got so far?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29C, A, E and I suppose we're looking for K.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Yeah, you might well be.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Against all the odds, Chloe and Beano have finished the task.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Ours must spell cater, caters. Cos we were there twice.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46Not a letter there. There's no letter anywhere.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50Having given it her best shot, Naomi too has thrown in the towel.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56In the end, Chloe and Beano are the only family unit to complete the orienteering challenge.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06It's fair to say that the orienteering for some went down like a lead balloon
0:22:06 > 0:22:11and for others showed the grit and determination to see it through.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14And there really was a big separation within the families.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18So it wasn't great. It was a challenge.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23And I do think standing up and digging your heels in even when it's uncomfortable
0:22:23 > 0:22:26is a really good skill to develop.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32Chloe and Beano working together is a glimmer of hope in what is often a difficult relationship.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35But for the Crilleys and Siobhan and Ciara,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38it brought to the surface an inability to work with each other
0:22:38 > 0:22:39when the going gets tough.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Ciara's unwillingness to communicate with her mum since being here
0:22:47 > 0:22:49very much mirrors what life is like at home.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- You've got everything you need and you'll unpack later?- Yeah.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Make your bed up later?
0:22:58 > 0:23:03- Do you want to change your shoes or anything or are you happy enough? - No.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- What are you doing now? - SHRIEKS:- Washing my hands!
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Jesus Christ!
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Figuring out how Ciara and her mum might best sort out their lack of communication
0:23:18 > 0:23:21is key to them being able to move forward.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Are you coming up for lunch? - No!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27- Come on up for some soup, Ciara. - I don't want any.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31You have to have something to eat. You've had nothing from this morning early.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34That's what's wrong with you. Come on.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Ciara's first one-to-one session with Rachel Andrew
0:23:38 > 0:23:41is a chance for Ciara to speak to someone impartial
0:23:41 > 0:23:43about how she feels.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45You know that had come up last time.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49After I'd met you and Mum, I guess the things that I was interested in,
0:23:49 > 0:23:53was just what's going on between you and Mum?
0:23:53 > 0:23:59Why do you think things are so difficult between you and her?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02It's just like I just don't want to talk.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Don't really trust each other.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09- You think Mum doesn't trust you either?- Yeah. I know she doesn't.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Right. How do you know?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Cos I just know. She said it to me before.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18So when you think about yourself,
0:24:18 > 0:24:21do you think you're just a normal teenage girl?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Just this is what everybody does?
0:24:23 > 0:24:28I wouldn't say normal cos I don't really see anyone as normal.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- Right! - Like everybody has something.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35If you were to sum up your something?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I'm too quick to lash out over small things.
0:24:41 > 0:24:48And I just hate school. I hate being told what to do.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51My mum will tell me something and if she tells me
0:24:51 > 0:24:54more than like twice or something,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57or even sometimes just once, it depends on how she says it,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00I go immediately, no, I'm not doing it, like.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Cos she just told me to. - Right.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07She always says we can talk now but I don't know, I just don't.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13I don't really see a need. It'll just be uncomfortable.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Right.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I have my friends to talk to.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I don't need to talk to her about things.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Frustrated at Ciara's unwillingness to communicate with her,
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Siobhan is with Ramon, discussing what happened in the orienteering task.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32You start to over-analyse everything.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34And because when we got down there
0:25:34 > 0:25:37and discovered what it was we were doing,
0:25:37 > 0:25:41she knew that involved walking in the forest.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43She knows that's something I like to do.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46So consciously or subconsciously,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49she didn't want to do it.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I automatically thought she didn't want to do it
0:25:52 > 0:25:55because it's something she knew I would want to do.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58So sabotaged you really, perhaps?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02That's what she can do with you a lot. Sabotage your best efforts.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Yeah.
0:26:05 > 0:26:10There has been definite positives from being here.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14But there's still the huffiness in her that...
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Determination in her wanting her own way,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22you know, hasn't really changed.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Yet.
0:26:25 > 0:26:30But that huffy her has a massive impact on you, of course.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Particularly when you want to give her your best efforts.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38So there's something perhaps in the space between you and her
0:26:38 > 0:26:44where she can't almost bear you and her getting on.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47It's as if there's a her that has to sabotage it.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50And kind of leave you feeling exasperated.
0:26:50 > 0:26:55Which in itself must be hard to take that it's there.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Of course it's hard to take.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00If your child's rejecting you
0:27:00 > 0:27:06and you can't give her the help that she needs.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09- Because she won't let you in there. - Yeah.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13You know, because I always give 100 per cent.
0:27:13 > 0:27:19Or at least I try to always do my absolute best.
0:27:19 > 0:27:25And I am absolutely not doing my best at raising Ciara.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28I think quite understandably
0:27:28 > 0:27:31there is this desperateness to connect with her
0:27:31 > 0:27:34but perhaps the remaining days here
0:27:34 > 0:27:38might be a way for you to experiment with being just totally cool.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Just totally backing off.
0:27:39 > 0:27:45- And waiting to see how she kind of...- Does she come to me?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Yes, yes.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51The reality is I think that it does leave a legacy
0:27:51 > 0:27:55of kind of people being wounded and tired
0:27:55 > 0:27:57and rejected, upset.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00And perhaps slowing things down can help you
0:28:00 > 0:28:02just recognise that.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Backing off from Ciara as Ramon suggests
0:28:13 > 0:28:15is a new approach for Siobhan
0:28:15 > 0:28:17and one which might not come naturally to her.
0:28:22 > 0:28:26Chloe's inability to sit with mum Cathy and stepdad Beano for any length of time
0:28:26 > 0:28:30means they never get a chance to discuss the issues which trouble them.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35- Come and sit with me.- No.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38You're going to start with me.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49Whilst there have been improvements in the relationship between Chloe and Beano,
0:28:49 > 0:28:53there are still tensions on both sides which have not yet been addressed.
0:28:56 > 0:28:57Come on in, come and have a seat.
0:28:57 > 0:29:01Their first family session with Rachel is a chance to do just that.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11We're here now, like, and it's just what I want to find out
0:29:11 > 0:29:14did I do anything wrong, Chloe?
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Do you know what I'm trying to say?
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Because every time I open my mouth it's...
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Don't you talk to me, you're not my dad.
0:29:21 > 0:29:26That's when I'm in a bad mood. I'm in a bad mood.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29If something happened with a stranger I wouldn't do it.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31It still hurts me, Chloe.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35- It's just that I'm in a bad mood. - Yeah.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39I know but it hurts, you know what I mean.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41I want to be there to be your daddy.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44I can't be no one else.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Let me in, Chloe. I'm only here to help you, love.
0:29:46 > 0:29:51- That's all. - Even let me in! Even let me in!
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Even if there isn't anything wrong, just talk to us.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00I was wondering how, if we've got Beano and your mam in the room,
0:30:00 > 0:30:02how they can help you with that?
0:30:02 > 0:30:06Are there things you think they could change or do a little bit differently
0:30:06 > 0:30:10that would help you to be more of the person you want to be?
0:30:11 > 0:30:15- They have to listen to me.- Right.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20- Instead of me getting the blame and row it out and shut it.- Yeah.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24So you would like less shouting in the house. Feeling less blamed as well.
0:30:24 > 0:30:29- Everybody sounds like... - Because if they see everyone's rowing me it's panic.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- They're frightened. And so am I. - You're frightened?
0:30:34 > 0:30:37- You're scared? - I'm scared of when he rows at you.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40I'm sorry if that's how you feel.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43But can I say something, Chloe? When you kick off I start...
0:30:43 > 0:30:47It's just because you row at me and I feel bad about it.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51See, when you kick off, they're my reasons.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54When you're banging doors and kicking doors.
0:30:54 > 0:30:55Because I'm in a bad mood when you row at me.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59So you're saying Orla and Reece get frightened.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02- They're terrified. - They don't row at me.
0:31:02 > 0:31:06Why would they be frightened? They don't row at me!
0:31:06 > 0:31:10That's all the part of growing up, love. Trying to teach you right and wrong.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14But you row loud. You shout really loud.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17If the windows were open, the whole street could hear you!
0:31:18 > 0:31:22When we go home, after this week's over,
0:31:22 > 0:31:24we have to start as we mean to go on.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28So it means we have to compromise, Chloe.
0:31:30 > 0:31:35If I say no and it comes down that you disrespect me.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40We're going to have to have a different way instead of shouting at you.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43And if you don't listen once you just have to go to your room.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45We're going to have to compromise some way.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48What for you, Chloe,
0:31:48 > 0:31:51do you think you could do differently that would make a difference?
0:31:51 > 0:31:53I don't know.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57I don't know.
0:32:00 > 0:32:04To me it sounded like you'd made a great start by sitting here today
0:32:04 > 0:32:06and trying to talk about some of these things.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12I think that's something we need more often.
0:32:12 > 0:32:16I'm hoping that you sit down and talk to me.
0:32:17 > 0:32:22Just the way you done that today. I'm delighted.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23Don't cry.
0:32:23 > 0:32:26- You're delighted. - Aye, I am.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Don't cry, Mum.
0:32:29 > 0:32:34- Those look like proud tears.- It is.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39- I wanted her to do that. To get the anger out of her.- Right.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41- Cos I know there's a lot of anger in her.- Yeah.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55It's like getting to know one another better. Getting to understand.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59- And Chloe's hair. - We're getting under Chloe's hair.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01The way she is.
0:33:01 > 0:33:07The way she feels, the way she thinks, everyday thinking.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10Just that wee step today with Rachel
0:33:10 > 0:33:13that appears to have a big effect.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Knowing that she can express her feelings.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20- That's what we wanted. - And that's what we want, aye.
0:33:30 > 0:33:35Progress surrounding the sensitive issues the families are dealing with this week is a fragile thing.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Having reached the midway point in the process
0:33:40 > 0:33:43wellbeing expert Amanda has gathered the families together
0:33:43 > 0:33:45for an opportunity to hear from them.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56So we've got you round the campfire tonight for something quite special.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59This what we're doing tonight is called a truth circle.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03So when somebody's speaking there's no interrupting, you have to listen,
0:34:03 > 0:34:06so when I pass the stick to somebody
0:34:06 > 0:34:09they're going to speak the truth.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16So my truth, if you like, is that
0:34:16 > 0:34:22I believe each and every one of you has come a long way already.
0:34:22 > 0:34:23But I think we aren't there yet.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26I think a few of you have got this mask.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29And the point of tonight is to try and leave that mask
0:34:29 > 0:34:32and speak the truth in a very safe place
0:34:32 > 0:34:35where we can all talk and listen.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Because the truth of the matter is all of us here
0:34:39 > 0:34:40really really want this process to work.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44And unless we can be absolutely honest with ourselves and other people,
0:34:44 > 0:34:46it's difficult for that to happen.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02I just want Ciara to know
0:35:04 > 0:35:06that she is so special to me.
0:35:06 > 0:35:11And I'll always be here for you, Ciara.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14I'll be here when you want to talk to me.
0:35:14 > 0:35:15When you don't want to talk to me.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19I'll support you in every way that I can.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22As a mother and as a friend hopefully.
0:35:23 > 0:35:28And that you are such a shining bright light
0:35:28 > 0:35:31to everybody who sees you.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33And you don't always show it to me.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35But I know it's there.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39And I hope you'll let me in.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43I just have a few words to say.
0:35:43 > 0:35:48Just to let Chloe know that I'm not just her friend, I'm her daddy,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51and I want you to know that.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53It'll always be that way.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55I'm not just your mammy's friend.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58I'm your daddy too.
0:35:58 > 0:35:59I'll always be your daddy.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03And any time you want to come and talk to me, I'll be there.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18I just want everyone to get along.
0:36:23 > 0:36:28And just stop the fighting and the anger and the jealousy.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34It can be so much better.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42I want it to be so much better.
0:36:45 > 0:36:50I'm glad I have a mam and a stepdad at home.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53I have to try and get my behaviour against Beano too.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56He's shown that he acts like a daddy.
0:36:56 > 0:37:02And it's not fair for us to treat parents like with bad behaviour
0:37:02 > 0:37:06and cursing and swearing and being cheeky.
0:37:06 > 0:37:10I love... I just love my family.
0:37:11 > 0:37:16I love my mammy and I have feelings for Beano.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19So I just want to try and get a better family.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22And I hope the rest of yous do too when we go back home.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Honestly, I think you're all so incredibly brave.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32And I admire each and every one of you.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34I think you're wonderful people.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38Honestly, really enjoyed being here with you all.
0:37:38 > 0:37:42And let's make the next few days really really special.
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Next time, sisters Rachel and Naomi
0:37:58 > 0:38:00get a glimpse of their own behaviour.
0:38:00 > 0:38:04I'm sticking to my story.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06- SCREAMS:- Shut up!
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Beano faces up to the blame game.
0:38:09 > 0:38:14Chloe felt distance because she was scared when I rowed at her.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Both shut up!
0:38:17 > 0:38:20And Cathy has one of the biggest highs of her life.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22The best thing that could have happened to me.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24Apart from the three children.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Holy fuck!
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd