0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:08I'm Ross. I'm 18, I'm gay and I want to come out to my parents.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09But it's not an easy thing to do.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10So, I came out to my dad.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15He really only had three things to say to me when I came out to him.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19And that was, I was dead to him,
0:00:19 > 0:00:21he could never be more ashamed of me
0:00:21 > 0:00:23and that he's moving out of the town we live in
0:00:23 > 0:00:26because he doesn't want to live in a town where everyone knows
0:00:26 > 0:00:27he has a faggot for a son.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Dad.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I'm kind of dashing all of your hopes and dreams, aren't I?
0:00:48 > 0:00:51I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I've decided that if I get into university
0:01:01 > 0:01:03and can move away from this small town
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I'm definitely going to tell my parents
0:01:06 > 0:01:09and I'm going to film it.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12We cannot make the assumption that it's easy to be gay
0:01:12 > 0:01:14in Britain in the 21st century.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20My legs are shaking, I don't know what I'm doing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22It's almost like ripping off a plaster, you know?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24It's going to be really hard,
0:01:24 > 0:01:28but from that point on your entire life is going to change
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- one way or another.- Yeah.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35I didn't think I was going to cry,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37because I'm comfortable with who I am...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41No, you sit there.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42..but will my parents be?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45What's going on?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Do you not think, being from around here,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59it's all right when you're younger because it's a nice place to grow up
0:01:59 > 0:02:03around, but then when you get to our age it's like, all you want to do is
0:02:03 > 0:02:08- move away?- Yeah, like you want to go to concerts and stuff
0:02:08 > 0:02:11but it takes ages to get there and everything, so...
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Well, we used to just sit on the walls and walk about.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Yeah. That's the only thing to do.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Or go to Tesco.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21See ya.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Thank you.- I've known since I was five that I was different,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27but I didn't know what being gay meant.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I just knew I fancied boys, and not girls.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Now I'm a teenager.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35I know of a couple of other gay people in my hometown,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38but I felt I had to keep my sexuality hidden.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Have you seen any of the coming out videos on YouTube,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45celebrating sexuality and telling the world?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47There's loads of it online.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49And I've got friends who were scarred by their parents'
0:02:49 > 0:02:52initial reaction, which was usually just a gut reaction.
0:02:52 > 0:02:5775% of LGBT people say they can't be open about who they are.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00We cannot make the assumption that it's easy to be gay
0:03:00 > 0:03:02in Britain in the 21st century.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07To get here it seems to be like there's one road in
0:03:07 > 0:03:11and one road out. That's why it makes it feel so isolated.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Men do men jobs, and women are the ones who like, maybe,
0:03:14 > 0:03:19stay at home and stuff. They just think a man should get married
0:03:19 > 0:03:20to a woman.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22I don't fit the type of, like, a man.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Obviously, like, being gay, for one.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31People at school have always had an idea,
0:03:31 > 0:03:34so they've maybe been scared or most have been my friend
0:03:34 > 0:03:36if they're a boy, so it did feel a bit isolating
0:03:36 > 0:03:38when I was going to school.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42My dad and brother are both very sporty
0:03:42 > 0:03:45and my dad coaches football and my brother
0:03:45 > 0:03:47works in a barbed-wire factory.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53I was into theatre and music, so that also made me a bit isolated.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I really want to move to a city,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00so I've applied to Salford University
0:04:00 > 0:04:04and the plan is I'll come out to my parents just before I leave.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05I don't have a plan B.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08But I know I won't be able to come out if I stay around here.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Getting into Uni will definitely give me the push to come out
0:04:15 > 0:04:17because that's like my safety net,
0:04:17 > 0:04:21I know that I'm moving away to somewhere that's more accepting.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24The two are definitely linked - getting into Uni, and coming out.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29In few days a it's my A-level results day
0:04:29 > 0:04:32and like a lot of other people I'm scared and apprehensive
0:04:32 > 0:04:34about what grades I'm going to get.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37If I do get the right results I'll be going to university
0:04:37 > 0:04:39and I'll come out.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I want to film myself coming out because those videos
0:04:44 > 0:04:47that I've watched have helped me come to accept it.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52I'm not really sure what the reason is, why I'm scared.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54It might just be the things I've heard my parents say.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57They'd probably prefer to have a straight son,
0:04:57 > 0:04:59just cos life would be easier for them.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I sort of had moments where I feel as though I could say it and I've
0:05:03 > 0:05:04actually turned around to say it,
0:05:04 > 0:05:06and then it's like as if a wall comes
0:05:06 > 0:05:08out and I don't know what it is that's stopping me.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I don't really like lying about being gay -
0:05:14 > 0:05:17that's why I want to come out now, to stop the lies.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28But first, I've got to get into Uni.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I thought I'd pressed record before but I haven't.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I was just lying in bed and I got a text off Salford Uni
0:05:35 > 0:05:37saying, "Congratulations, we've confirmed your place."
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I was expecting to have to wait till eight o'clock and then see that it
0:05:44 > 0:05:45said I've been unsuccessful.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50My legs are shaking, I don't know what I'm doing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I think I was a bit in shock this morning
0:05:55 > 0:05:57at the fact that I've got into university.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I'm still thinking that they're going to contact me
0:06:01 > 0:06:03and say that it was a mistake.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07I don't get how I've got in and it's just a relief knowing now
0:06:07 > 0:06:10that I can come out and that it's actually going to happen and I'll be
0:06:10 > 0:06:16moving somewhere where everyone's going to be different and accepting,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18and I can finally move away from this town.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Oh, my God.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21I don't believe it.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24It's actually the best day ever.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Having a bit of trouble finding the hotel.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I've come to Manchester pride for the first time to celebrate.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Can we go inside?- Yeah.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- After you.- Thank you.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02James Barr is a radio DJ and TV presenter,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04but even though he's really confident,
0:07:04 > 0:07:05he thinks he messed up his coming out.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09I feel really bad about it because I kind of copped out of it
0:07:09 > 0:07:11and got my sister to do it.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15My mum said, "I feel like I lost the son I was meant to have
0:07:15 > 0:07:16"but got a new one."
0:07:18 > 0:07:21It was definitely my dad. My dad wasn't...wasn't as good.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24We were in the car and he was like, "I'm really annoyed you've
0:07:24 > 0:07:28"told everybody except your own dad that you're gay."
0:07:28 > 0:07:30It's like such a big thing for people,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- so I do understand completely, like, how hard it is.- Yeah.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42James has made me realise how damaging it can be
0:07:42 > 0:07:45not to tell both your parents, but that doesn't make the thought
0:07:45 > 0:07:47of coming out any easier.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51A video that I've watched over and over to try and prepare myself
0:07:51 > 0:07:53is the one made by vlogger Riyadh.
0:07:58 > 0:08:04I can remember my brain screaming at me saying, "Say those two words -
0:08:04 > 0:08:07"I'm gay - just say it," and my mouth wouldn't do it,
0:08:07 > 0:08:10just wouldn't fucking make the words.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14And I pull over one of my school books and I rip out the back page of
0:08:14 > 0:08:21it and I have a pen and I write on it "I'm gay" and so I just,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25cos I can't say the words, I just slide it across the table to you
0:08:25 > 0:08:27and then I go...
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I just leave it there. And I'm, like, looking away and then what?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33So confused, it's confusing, yeah...
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Yeah...cos somebody just hits you, bang.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Dad!
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Were you?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Dad.
0:08:49 > 0:08:54I'm really hoping my dad will be OK, when I tell him I'm gay.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56That was something I was wanting to ask you about, like...
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Riyadh has agreed to talk to me on Skype.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Your coming out video is the one that I've watched the most
0:09:02 > 0:09:04cos it just seems so relevant with me.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06And you also said about feeling paralysed,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09like you couldn't actually say the words "I'm gay".
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I think it's completely normal what you're feeling.
0:09:11 > 0:09:17It's about the fear of potentially losing or upsetting
0:09:17 > 0:09:21someone that you love so deeply and there really isn't anyone
0:09:21 > 0:09:24that you love deeper than the people that put you on this earth.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- Yeah.- It's almost like ripping off a plaster, you know?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31It's going to be really hard to actually say those words
0:09:31 > 0:09:34and to see their faces as you say it, but,
0:09:34 > 0:09:37from that point on your entire life is going to change
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- from one way or another.- Yeah.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42You're already in a very lucky situation that, you know,
0:09:42 > 0:09:44you come from a loving home.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47In the worst, worst, worst case scenario where, potentially,
0:09:47 > 0:09:50they won't get it, you've still been able to understand
0:09:50 > 0:09:53what you are, yourself, and accept yourself.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Yeah.- You've done the hardest coming out,
0:09:56 > 0:09:58which is coming out to you.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02I feel so confident in myself now and I just want to share that,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04like, I'm fed up with lying about being gay.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07I'm out and constantly having to hide things from my parents.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12If their initial reaction is not ideal, let's say,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15if they show a bit of anger, if they try and ask you, "Are you sure?"
0:10:15 > 0:10:17"I'm sure you can't be this way."
0:10:17 > 0:10:18I mean, they could say anything.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20They could do the opposite and just embrace you and say "We know,
0:10:20 > 0:10:22"this is great, fantastic, well done."
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Whatever they say, just let them release and let them get that
0:10:26 > 0:10:31off their chest. There is no human on this planet who can take a piece
0:10:31 > 0:10:35of information like that and just be like, "Oh, great.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36"OK, do you want some tea?"
0:10:38 > 0:10:41They'll think about it, they'll realise that you still are the same
0:10:41 > 0:10:44beautiful son that you've always been,
0:10:44 > 0:10:46and then eventually, you know,
0:10:46 > 0:10:50hopefully, they'll turn into what my parents turned into
0:10:50 > 0:10:55which are two absolutely incredibly supportive, loving,
0:10:55 > 0:10:59caring and understanding humans that want to be part of the journey.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Yeah.- All right, Ross.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02- I'll chat to you soon. - Good luck, OK?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05- Thank you. - You're going to do great.- Bye.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Getting to talk to Riyadh yesterday was a big thing for me
0:11:12 > 0:11:14because to get direct advice from him
0:11:14 > 0:11:17really gave me a confidence boost because, like,
0:11:17 > 0:11:21he taught me that someone's reaction isn't necessarily the reaction that
0:11:21 > 0:11:25they're going to have in a year, so that sort of puts me at ease
0:11:25 > 0:11:27if my parents don't react the way I want them to.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37But I've still got to go through the actual coming out,
0:11:37 > 0:11:38and I'm going to do it tomorrow.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42What's going to happen, I really don't know.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I think I've been starting to get a bit more emotional
0:11:54 > 0:11:57throughout the day because I just got texts from some of my friends
0:11:57 > 0:12:00who know that I'm going to be coming out just staying stuff like
0:12:00 > 0:12:02"good luck" and that they're thinking of me
0:12:02 > 0:12:05and that's making me start to feel like I'm going to cry.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06It's just nice to know that my friends are there
0:12:06 > 0:12:10and that there's, like, this support that I've got for coming out.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18I didn't think I was going to... I didn't think I was going to cry,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20because, like, I'm comfortable with who I am.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28It's just...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I think I'm upset because I don't see the point in coming out.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32I don't know why people should have to do it.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Like, my brother doesn't have to come out as straight
0:12:35 > 0:12:37so why should I have to come out as gay?
0:12:44 > 0:12:45The cameras are all set up.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52I've asked Mum and Dad to come and sit in the living room.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53There's no going back now.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56No, you sit there.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- What's going on?- Put that down.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04So do you two think that you know me pretty well?
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Yeah. Like, you know my favourite colour?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- No.- Purple.- Yeah.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I thought you were going to say orange.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17So do you know that I'm gay?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- No.- No.- But you do now.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Yeah.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Have you never had any suspicions?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Nope.- Are you sure?- Yeah.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- What about you?- Maybe.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33So what's your reaction to it?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Are you fine?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Right, well, last December when we were at Windermere,
0:13:41 > 0:13:45we were watching First Dates and there were two men on it,
0:13:45 > 0:13:47and in that interview at the end they kiss,
0:13:47 > 0:13:51and you and Graham looked at each other and just pulled a face.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54So why was that?
0:13:54 > 0:13:59Well, it's a case of don't mind people doing it, but
0:13:59 > 0:14:04it's something that doesn't look right, and then two men are kissing.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06From my perspective.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09So if it was a man and a woman it would've been all right?
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Yes.- Or is it to do with the public thing?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14No, a man and a woman would have been fine.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19So can you see how that affects me, you saying that?
0:14:24 > 0:14:28It's just an opinion. I don't mind it, but I don't want it in my face.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Right.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- And are you all right with it?- Yeah.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39- So everything's fine?- Mm-hm.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42It's a choice. A life choice, that's all it is.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47I know what you're trying to say, but the word choice is a bit weird.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Why?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Because it's not a choice.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54- Because I haven't decided, oh, I want to be gay.- Mm.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Because obviously who would choose to be gay when...
0:14:57 > 0:14:58The Orlando shootings.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Like, why would I choose to be a sexuality that might get me killed?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Mm-hm.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06So you understand that?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10So what makes you think you're gay?
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Well, are you attracted to men?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17- Yeah.- Well, so am I.
0:15:19 > 0:15:24It's just, like, I've had people ask me that before, like, say,
0:15:24 > 0:15:25why are you gay?
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Or how do you know? And I'm like, how do you know you're straight?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30It's just the same thing as that.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I think the world's changed, you know.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40It's sort of, like, it's more out there now.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41- So...- It's more accepted, isn't it?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46Yeah, yeah. It's not like back in the '60s or the '70s where it's all
0:15:46 > 0:15:51underground and it was something to almost be ashamed of.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Well, it was illegal.- Yeah.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58But nowadays, you know, there's more and more people, it's more open,
0:15:58 > 0:16:03so I think it's easier for people like your mam and me to accept.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It doesn't make me feel any different about you.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- No.- Well, it shouldn't, should it?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- No.- That's why it's, like, weird when you see other people
0:16:11 > 0:16:13that have come out, and then their parents don't accept it.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14You just think, why?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I still feel a bit rocky because it's just, like,
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I came out yesterday, so it's still quite fresh in my mind
0:16:35 > 0:16:38and I'm still thinking about everything.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I don't feel comfortable around them yet.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Like, my mam came into my room this morning
0:16:42 > 0:16:44and I just sort of wanted her to get out,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46and I don't know why.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47I think I'm going to take time to get used to them
0:16:47 > 0:16:50and the fact that they know, and they're going to take time
0:16:50 > 0:16:53to get used to me. But I feel happier now.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58I think my dad took it better, which was surprising
0:16:58 > 0:17:02because I wasn't expecting him to be the one that takes it the best,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05but he is quite an understanding person.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09I'm also glad that I did do it on camera.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I think I'd have regretted it if I didn't,
0:17:11 > 0:17:13because I can look back on it as well as other people
0:17:13 > 0:17:14watching it as well.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18I'm going to university now.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I'm moving there quite soon.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23So I think the next step for me is to live away from my parents
0:17:23 > 0:17:26how I want to, then hopefully translate that
0:17:26 > 0:17:28when I'm back at home,
0:17:28 > 0:17:31so I can act how I want to in both places that I live.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36I've grown up with 18 years of this.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I think I'm ready to say goodbye to it for a while.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52So do you want a quick room tour?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55OK, let's go. Welcome to the bathroom.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Oh, look at this. Oh, it just curves round, nice and smooth.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Oh, I love it. And that's where the magic happens.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13So we're going to go big cheesy smile,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16and pout and squish everything.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18It feels really natural being here.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Like at home, I sort of felt small,
0:18:20 > 0:18:23and then you come here and it feels like, I don't know,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26like I've got these tentacles coming off me, and I'm just free.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29A big, gay octopus.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36It feels weird because I'm still getting used to
0:18:36 > 0:18:38knowing that my parents know and everything,
0:18:38 > 0:18:40so I still have moments where I think, oh, God,
0:18:40 > 0:18:45everybody knows. But, yeah, it feels nice to know that I'm being open.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I know that definitely my grandma and grandpa know, and my uncle -
0:18:52 > 0:18:54he rang me to say that, like,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56he's proud of me for coming out and everything,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58that I can be myself now.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04I've never got my ear pierced back at home because in my mind,
0:19:04 > 0:19:06even though loads of boys have got their ears pierced,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10I always thought if I got mine done people would be thinking like, oh,
0:19:10 > 0:19:12that's a girl's thing to do, why has Ross got that done?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15So that's why I've waited till I've come to university to get, like,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17any piercings or tattoos or anything.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I'm on my way home from uni,
0:19:43 > 0:19:45and I'm planning to talk to Mum and Dad about the future.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- INTERVIEWER:- Do you miss him? - Oh, yeah.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Yeah, cos you're quite good company, really, aren't you?
0:20:03 > 0:20:04He just said I wasn't, I think.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07He said I only came down to wash the dishes.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09You like to come down and sit next to me, don't you, of an evening,
0:20:09 > 0:20:12and have a cuddle? Don't you?
0:20:12 > 0:20:13You do!
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Not over worried about him down there, really.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20He seems to have settled in, don't you?
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I was wanting to come out before I went so that, like,
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- everything was comfortable down there and up here.- Yeah.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32So it's been a big... big, sort of, few months for you,
0:20:32 > 0:20:34hasn't it, Ross?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- In terms of...- Yeah, with, like, life things going on.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Like university, but then coming out before university, but, like,
0:20:41 > 0:20:43you made that easier, with the reaction that you gave,
0:20:43 > 0:20:47so I'm thankful for the way that you handled it.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50For us, I think it was "Right, OK.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51"He's said it, it's final.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53We know now." And then,
0:20:53 > 0:20:57"Right, let's get you packed up and move out,"
0:20:57 > 0:21:00and it was like almost like a bereavement, I think, wasn't it?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- You know?- Yeah, but on the other hand it's nice to know
0:21:03 > 0:21:05that you can say it to us.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Yeah.- Well, we love you and Jamie, and that's it.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- We'll support you.- Yeah.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Support you in what you do.
0:21:12 > 0:21:17Thinking back, you possibly think, as a parent,
0:21:17 > 0:21:23perhaps we should have made it slightly easier for you,
0:21:23 > 0:21:30when we had these suspicions, to probably just come out and ask you,
0:21:30 > 0:21:31to make it easier for you...
0:21:31 > 0:21:36But I suppose, at the time, because I was unsure, like,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- I'd have probably just said no. - Yeah.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42So for me there's still hurdles, like it hasn't finished now,
0:21:42 > 0:21:44because obviously we were talking about when I came out,
0:21:44 > 0:21:48when you said it's just your opinion that you don't like the sight of two
0:21:48 > 0:21:53men or something, like, to me that sort of rings alarm bells of, oh,
0:21:53 > 0:21:55what if I get into a relationship now?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Are you going to feel uncomfortable if I bring someone back?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01If you brought a boyfriend home, yeah,
0:22:01 > 0:22:05we'd still feel a little bit uncomfortable, at first,
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- because we've never experienced that before.- Yeah.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14You know, but we wouldn't be against it or anything like that.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's something that we've got to get used to,
0:22:16 > 0:22:18but because it's you we'll support you.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22I've always been from a male-dominated background with sport
0:22:22 > 0:22:26and stuff like that, but you, growing up, on the art side,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29and the musicals and things like that,
0:22:29 > 0:22:33I think you've had a major impact personally on my life,
0:22:33 > 0:22:35because you've broadened my horizons.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Helped me develop...- Yeah.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41- ..as a person.- Families, like, years ago, you'd have thought, oh,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43if my son's gay I won't get grandchildren.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47Some people might have thought that, but in this day and age it's like,
0:22:47 > 0:22:49it makes no difference, because there's plenty of options.
0:22:49 > 0:22:54- No, yeah, that's right.- There is, yes, and that is a big thing.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Because, yeah, I'd like to have grandchildren,
0:22:58 > 0:23:00cos you do miss that.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02The small kids knocking about, running around,
0:23:02 > 0:23:06having a bit of a laugh. But it doesn't mean you can't.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07There's different ways now.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08No, no, that's right.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Hopefully, you are proud of me for coming out and stuff?
0:23:14 > 0:23:15- Yeah.- Oh, definitely.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Yeah.- Being brave enough to do it, for one thing.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21You know.
0:23:21 > 0:23:27But the making of this video makes us proud as well, because, you know,
0:23:27 > 0:23:33you're putting yourself out there on a limb to help others.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37That makes us really proud because using a situation
0:23:37 > 0:23:42where you're really uncomfortable, or we're uncomfortable,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45but you're willing to try and help others.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Yeah.- You know, that makes us really proud.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59I can't bear the thought of him going through life
0:23:59 > 0:24:01and having something like that to hide,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04and basically just living a lie.
0:24:06 > 0:24:11I'm so pleased that he's done it this early on in his life,
0:24:11 > 0:24:13so he can just get on with it now.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17I can't stand the thought of him getting, you know,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21into his late 20s, 30s, getting a girlfriend, getting married.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Obviously that would probably go wrong, wouldn't it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:29- Yeah.- You know, and personally I think further down the line whoever
0:24:29 > 0:24:34Ross ends up with, you know, in a long-term relationship,
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- they'll be very lucky to have him. - Mm hmm.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Oh, my God, I absolutely love drag queens...
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Like, practising make-up and stuff.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I want to do make-up and that,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50but I don't actually want to do performances -
0:24:50 > 0:24:51do you get what I mean?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Yeah, I obviously started doing my eyebrows and stuff,
0:24:54 > 0:24:55and I had glitter on the other day, but...
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Which bar are we going into now?
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Erm, Bar Pop, I think.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Bar Pop.- It's down there. - I've never been there.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06- I've been a few... Like, there's always drag queens outside.- Yeah.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Hi, boys, are you coming in for a drink?- Hi. Yes, we are.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12That's what we like to hear. Free entry, £1 vodka mixers...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13That's spot on, thank you.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I've known that I've been gay for ages,
0:25:20 > 0:25:23but now that I've come out I feel as though I've really, like,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26sort of, blossomed into my own human being, if that makes sense.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Because I'm being true to myself and I'm being honest
0:25:29 > 0:25:32to the rest of the world with who I am.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- Aw, dead proud of you!- Oh!