0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05I'm Owen, I'm 19, I'm bisexual,
0:00:05 > 0:00:08and I've decided to come out to my parents.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10But I'm worrying about it.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14I want to just be happy.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17And I want to love who I love,
0:00:17 > 0:00:19whether that's a guy or girl.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29OK.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31I love you.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32- VOICE ON PHONE:- I love you, too.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I am bisexual.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Now I can be who I want to be,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40which is myself.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Coming out's going to be tough
0:00:45 > 0:00:49because people just don't seem to get bisexuality.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51- CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS ON TV:- I think the worst type, though,
0:00:51 > 0:00:53is, I'm afraid to say, the bisexuals.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01People think, because you're bisexual, you're really slutty.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02"You must get so much more action."
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Like, no! Just because I like both doesn't mean I like everyone.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07It's ridiculous.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12I know I'm into both guys and girls, but because of all of this hate,
0:01:12 > 0:01:14it's taken me a while to accept myself.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15I'm not like everybody else.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Why am I not like everybody else?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21You just feel, like, fractured.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24You don't really know who you are any more.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I'm tired of hiding it, so I'm going to come out to my parents,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and I'm going to film it.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34But, because they're not together, I'll have to do it twice.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37It's not going to be easy.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38I'm not going to do it.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41I'm not going to do it. Just...today's not the day.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43So, here goes.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44How will they react?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Is this recording? Let me just check.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Right. Here you go.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Are they black enough?
0:02:03 > 0:02:04This is the question.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Are they dark enough?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Do they reflect the inner workings of my soul?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Since I was, like, so much shorter than everyone else,
0:02:12 > 0:02:15and I wasn't really tall or muscular or anything...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Oh, it's quite long.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21..I got myself into kind of a headspace where I just thought
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I wasn't really very masculine and I felt quite weak and quite, like,
0:02:24 > 0:02:26kind of vulnerable and stuff.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31I'd feel like people were looking at me a lot, even if they weren't.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37So, I had lots of weird and insecure thoughts like that for a while.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39No. That would drown me.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41I mean, some insecurities still affect me now,
0:02:41 > 0:02:45but I just kind of learned to deal with it a bit more now,
0:02:45 > 0:02:47rather than just kind of worry about it all the time.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52I do like it. I just wish they did smaller sizes for me.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55When I was about 15, 16,
0:02:55 > 0:03:00that's when I first started to kind of question my sexuality.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Because a lot of people at school,
0:03:02 > 0:03:06they'd talk about, like, sex and people they liked and stuff,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09and I wasn't really comfortable doing that at all,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13which made me think, "Why am I not comfortable talking about this kind
0:03:13 > 0:03:14"of stuff with people?"
0:03:16 > 0:03:19But I used to play this game, where if I was in assembly and stuff
0:03:19 > 0:03:23and people were walking in, I used to think, "Do I fancy them?
0:03:23 > 0:03:27"Do I like them? What about them do I like?"
0:03:27 > 0:03:29And I'd do it with both, like, guys and girls as well.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33But that's when I started to realise, like,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35oh, yeah, I definitely like both, but, at that time,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I wasn't really ready to confront that or admit that.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45I think you have to be in a quite stable and comfortable place
0:03:45 > 0:03:47with yourself first about wanting to come out.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52So, for a long time, I didn't really accept it about myself,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55but then I realised that nothing's going to change
0:03:55 > 0:03:57if you don't make an effort to change it.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04I've come to the realisation now that I know, absolutely,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06that I am bisexual.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09It's not something for me to question any more,
0:04:09 > 0:04:10because only I know me.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16I'm a student in my first year studying psychology.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I've put a few pictures up.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20You can have a look if you want.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Oh, it's so cringey.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I've joined Tindr and I've made it clear on my profile that I'm bi.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32You can set your preference for, like, men and women, or just men,
0:04:32 > 0:04:33or just women or whatever.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40I really want to date someone or be with somebody who is absolutely
0:04:40 > 0:04:42fine with who I'm attracted to.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46I don't want to, like, mislead anyone and I didn't want to
0:04:46 > 0:04:49get matched with somebody who would be, "Oh, you're bi."
0:04:51 > 0:04:54So, I didn't want to get matched with somebody
0:04:54 > 0:04:55who wasn't accepting of it.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03You're my only gay best friend.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04I'm not even gay, mate.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06All right, you're the only person who's not straight.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I'm just your non-straight best friend.- Exactly.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Look at this. Just look. Just...
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Like, that's been there a week!
0:05:13 > 0:05:14That's not edible any more.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- MAN ON RADIO:- You get people saying things like,
0:05:18 > 0:05:20"Have you ever met a bisexual?"
0:05:20 > 0:05:22I mean, is anyone actually 50-50?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- WOMAN ON RADIO:- Decide. Get off the fence. You're greedy.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Blah, blah, blah... There's all these assumptions about people
0:05:27 > 0:05:28who are attracted to more than one gender.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31We have to teach people not just that you can be straight
0:05:31 > 0:05:34or you can be gay, but there's so many different ways that you can be.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- VOICE ON TV:- If you're gay, you know it.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I think the worst type, though,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40is, I'm afraid to say, the bisexuals.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- That upsets me.- Yeah.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43- You have to pick a team.- Yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46What it is, is people not wanting to admit they're gay.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Please pick a team.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49You can pick any one you want.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I totally agree.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53His logic is just baffling.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54He doesn't know how I feel.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56And he doesn't know what I experience,
0:05:56 > 0:06:00so how can he say that all bisexuals just need to pick a side
0:06:00 > 0:06:02because they're really just secretly gay?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04It makes no sense.
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Online, you can start to see a lot of hatred.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12I saw more and more and more of it and I was in this kind of emotional,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14emotionally vulnerable place.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18"If you come out of nowhere and all of a sudden you're saying,
0:06:18 > 0:06:20"'Oh, I'm bisexual, take it or leave it,'
0:06:20 > 0:06:22"then you deserve a slap in the face."
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Oh, "No such thing as bi. They're just horny."
0:06:28 > 0:06:32They're calling it an epidemic, that we're coming out as bisexual.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35So, making us sound like a disease, so thank you for that.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41To see this crap, basically, can be quite damaging to somebody
0:06:41 > 0:06:44who's so vulnerable and still kind of figuring themselves out,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47and they're going through puberty and, you know, still working out
0:06:47 > 0:06:49the world and where they fit into it.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I kind of internalised a lot of that kind of stuff.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03So I was saying things to myself in my head like, "I think I'm bisexual,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05"but what happens if I'm just pretending?
0:07:05 > 0:07:09"What happens if I am just secretly gay and I don't want to admit it?
0:07:09 > 0:07:14"What happens if I am just being this, you know, kind of promiscuous
0:07:14 > 0:07:17"person where I just want more than I can have or whatever?"
0:07:20 > 0:07:25You just kind of feel, like, fractured.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You don't really know who you are any more.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36We should probably go that way, cos that's where all the action is.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Oh, all the action!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42This is G-A-Y bar. It's, you know, really well-known.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I've never actually been to a gay bar, to be honest.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- You've never been to a gay bar?- No.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Oh, my God! You're in for such a treat.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I'm looking forward to talking face to face with bi activist Lewis
0:07:53 > 0:07:55about being bisexual.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02"It doubles your chances on a Friday night."
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Like, I've heard this one so much more. Like, ah, people think
0:08:05 > 0:08:07because you're bisexual, you're really slutty.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10You must get so much more action, like, that kind of thing.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13It's like, no! Just because I like both doesn't mean I like everyone.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15It's ridiculous. Of course not.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17A few of my friends have said that.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Like, "Yeah, you've got twice as many people you can date."
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I'm like, no. If you think about it,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I can only date someone who accepts bisexual people.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Try and find the fraction of people that is.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Yeah, exactly.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29A lot of people say, "Oh, I'm bi,"
0:08:29 > 0:08:31and then come out as gay a few years later,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34and I think that's where a lot of the stigma comes from.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38So many, like, gay guys think that me being bisexual isn't true.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40They'll try and convince you it's a phase.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44I was at this, kind of, house party and there was this girl
0:08:44 > 0:08:46who identified as a lesbian there,
0:08:46 > 0:08:48and I was talking about how I was bi,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50and she said, "Oh, yeah, I used to identify as bi
0:08:50 > 0:08:52"and now I'm a lesbian."
0:08:52 > 0:08:54And then she started trying to like throw herself at me
0:08:54 > 0:08:56and touch me as much as possible
0:08:56 > 0:08:58and I felt really, really uncomfortable with it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01And she was like, "Oh, honey, you're gay. You're gay."
0:09:01 > 0:09:04And I'm like, no, I'm just uncomfortable with you thinking you
0:09:04 > 0:09:08can come into my personal space and test me for your own amusement.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10That's not OK.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I think there's a lot of that, where people are like,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- if you're not attracted to me, you're obviously the other.- Mm.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Meeting Lewis was really helpful and useful to me, actually.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29That's because a lot of the things I could identify with.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35It was good that we talked about some of the issues that we think
0:09:35 > 0:09:37bisexual people face.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I still feel in the dark about how to actually tell Mum and Dad
0:09:46 > 0:09:47about my bisexuality.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53I've looked online at other people's coming out experiences and stuff,
0:09:53 > 0:09:57and one thing they don't necessarily go into a lot of detail is, like,
0:09:57 > 0:09:58the actual practicality.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Like what do you, literally, say to someone.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06What do you say? What do you do?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09How do you just like, present it and frame it?
0:10:10 > 0:10:14They'll probably respect you more for being yourself than trying to be
0:10:14 > 0:10:16this person that you're not...
0:10:16 > 0:10:20I've joined the university's LGBT society and I'm going to get
0:10:20 > 0:10:22some advice from its members about coming out.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28I've got, like, my uni self and there's the self of me at home,
0:10:28 > 0:10:32which is more reserved and trying to live this pretend life.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35So, I'm hoping to get rid of that.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39What I found made it easier was when I had something
0:10:39 > 0:10:41to lead into that conversation.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44It made it a lot easier to talk about than just saying,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47"Oh, by the way, I'm bisexual.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49"Have fun with that now."
0:10:49 > 0:10:53I made sure when I came out to my parents I was not framing it
0:10:53 > 0:10:54as, like, a confession.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I wasn't framing it as an apology.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00I was framing it as an invitation, really,
0:11:00 > 0:11:02to be part of my life.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04This is who I am.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08I'm going to live my big, gay life, doing lots of big, gay things,
0:11:08 > 0:11:10and I won't do any big, gay things with you,
0:11:10 > 0:11:12so it doesn't really matter to you, but...
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Yeah, I would just...
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Yeah, just make sure that you're comfortable with it
0:11:18 > 0:11:21and that it's a conversation that feels natural and not forced.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I feel like I've got the practical advice I was missing.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30I don't need to be ashamed to say who I am,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33and how I word it is going to be so important.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34I need to get it right.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40It's nice to know that once I have come out in whatever way I choose
0:11:40 > 0:11:44and decide, that there is going to be this network here
0:11:44 > 0:11:49which can support me, if I need it, and I can go to
0:11:49 > 0:11:51and have some pretty fun times with.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01I've decided that this weekend is the time I'm going to come out
0:12:01 > 0:12:03to my mum and tell her that I'm bisexual.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06We have a very close relationship.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10It's more like brother-sister type relationship
0:12:10 > 0:12:12rather than like mother and son.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15We're always quite open, quite honest with each other.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18My mum and dad were never really, like, married or anything.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20They split up when I was quite young.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Me and Mum don't keep secrets from each other.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26This is the only one.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I hope she isn't going to be upset that I haven't told her before now.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Mum thinks I'm back from uni for the weekend
0:12:38 > 0:12:40to do some early Christmas shopping with her.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Tonight, this evening,
0:12:44 > 0:12:49I'm planning to tell her and come out and tell her that I'm bisexual.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Erm, I was kind of joking about it, the little bit today, actually.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Like, I said, "Oh, by the way, I've got a girlfriend at university."
0:12:57 > 0:13:00And I was like, "Nah, only joking. I've actually got a boyfriend."
0:13:00 > 0:13:02And then I said, "Nah, I'm only joking."
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I'm feeling a little bit more nervous now, I think.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Before, I was pretty calm, quite relaxed
0:13:07 > 0:13:10and now I'm getting a bit...
0:13:10 > 0:13:12getting a bit anxious.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Let's go do this thing.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Right, OK. Cool.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Right. That is recording, isn't it? Let me just check.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Yeah. We don't want to do all this and it be for nothing.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Right, Cool.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34We touched on this yesterday, like, in a jokey way,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37but you know how I said, "Oh, I have a girlfriend.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41"No, I don't, I'm only kidding. I've actually got a boyfriend,"
0:13:41 > 0:13:42and then I was joking and stuff.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Would it bother you if I did have a boyfriend or anything like that?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49No. We said that yesterday.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51If you had a girlfriend, fair enough.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53If you had a boyfriend, fair enough.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57You're still you and I won't love you any less.
0:13:57 > 0:14:02So, what would you think or feel if I told you that I'm bisexual?
0:14:03 > 0:14:04What would you say?
0:14:04 > 0:14:05It wouldn't bother me.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Like I said, you're still Owen.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11To me, I'll still love you, no matter what.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13OK. Well, I am.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15So, this is me telling you.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18As long as you're happy in what you want to do.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19You're happy, careful...
0:14:20 > 0:14:25..it doesn't change anything about the way I feel about you at all.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26Did you suspect anything?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Well, I always probably thought you were a little bit gay, really.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Yeah. I get that.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Yeah, people have said that.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Yeah, just being at uni and stuff,
0:14:40 > 0:14:44erm, and just being round other people just helped to reconfirm
0:14:44 > 0:14:46what I kind of already knew.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49You don't have to go back in the closet no more!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Oh, no, it's fine. Don't even...
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I'm not going to start acting any different or anything.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I'm still going to just be the same.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Exactly.- That's insane.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00So, let's have a little hug.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Look, we did it.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Yay! Let's fucking end this.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Is that conversation over, is it?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Yeah.- Any more questions to ask?- No.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- OK, then. Bye.- Bye.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13We're done.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20See, that just makes it more fun.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Who's going to go first?
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Back at uni, me and my mates are having some end of term drinks.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27What is going on?
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Oh, I came out to my mum and my grandparents, kind of. Yeah.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Yeah, well done, mate.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Yeah, nice one, mate.- Thanks.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Oz kind of noticed a difference.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46I told him, like, what I'd done and stuff, and he seemed to think
0:15:46 > 0:15:49I was more confident as well and just more happy.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Two. You choose.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54On my right, there was Katie.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Are you just friends?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Erm, well, it's only been like a very recent thing,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02but we're slightly more than friends.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05We're kind of just seeing how things go at the moment.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07When we were just, kind of, friends,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10she knew I was bisexual and it didn't seem to faze her at all.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13So, that was really cool.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19I think I'm just far more willing now to just try dating
0:16:19 > 0:16:22and try going out with people and stuff
0:16:22 > 0:16:24and seeing how things go, so...
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Was it worth two shots?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29No, it wasn't worth two shots!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I don't know why I did it.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Oh, kill me now.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I'm so happy it went well with Mum,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42but I'm worried about telling Dad.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I've got no idea how he's going to react.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I don't really know how I'll tell Dad.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I haven't really figured that out.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55He's quite Jack-the-Lad.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01Quite masculine and just a typical kind of guy, I guess.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04He's a carpenter.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I feel like my dad would be more reserved about it,,
0:17:07 > 0:17:11and he might perhaps initially question,
0:17:11 > 0:17:13"OK, why don't you just go for girls then?"
0:17:13 > 0:17:14But it's not really like that.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18It's like, I don't really have a choice who I like and who I fall
0:17:18 > 0:17:21in love with and who I'm attracted to.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23I don't really have a choice in as much as, like, you didn't have
0:17:23 > 0:17:26a choice about who you fell in love with and who you married, so...
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I've been at home for three weeks,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40but I've not managed to bring myself to tell Dad yet.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42It's been really playing on my mind.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46He's dropping me off and I'm going to do it now or I never will.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51So, what we've just got back to uni after Christmas and Dad's helped
0:17:51 > 0:17:54bring my stuff in. You've been very helpful, thank you very much.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58I reckon I'd move in here myself...
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Firstly, just to get away from me brothers.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04True, true.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Erm, one of the things I'm going to talk about, or touch on,
0:18:08 > 0:18:09is relationships.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12You said the other day that you were worried about me. Why was that?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Because you now have a girlfriend.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Mm-hm.
0:18:19 > 0:18:25Erm, I don't want the emotion to get in the way of your education.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Before, I was with the person I am with now,
0:18:30 > 0:18:32I was seeing somebody else.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Does that shock you that you didn't know about it?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Yeah.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Yeah, I guess it was.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40OK.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Erm, I don't know how to say this to you but, OK...
0:18:44 > 0:18:48The person I was with, before my girlfriend, was a guy.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Does that shock you?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- No.- No?- No.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Because I'm into guys and girls.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58- OK.- I'm into both.- All right. - Does that make sense?
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Is that OK with you?- That's fine. I'm...- How do you feel about that?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Fine. Erm...
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Well, you hit me with a right punch, but...
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Sorry to shock you like that.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14..but can I just say, I'm really... I've travelled the world.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'm very, very open-minded.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- You've got to be happy in who you are.- Mm-hm.- No-one else.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22You've got to be happy in who you are.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24So, as long as...
0:19:24 > 0:19:26If it makes you happy, it makes you happy.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Fine.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30It don't matter to me one bit.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Cool.- Not one bit.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34In fact, I am as cool as a cucumber.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Fair enough.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I'm just going to end it there.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Yeah, cool.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44So, I've just come out to my dad,
0:19:44 > 0:19:46and it went really, really well.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Like, leading up to it, erm,
0:19:49 > 0:19:51I was so close to, like, not even doing it.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I didn't really want to.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57All through the car journey back,
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I was quite nervous and I was just thinking, "I'm not going to do it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02"I'm not going to do it. Today's not the day."
0:20:04 > 0:20:09But then I had the camera with me in my room and I thought,
0:20:09 > 0:20:10"Just do it, just do it."
0:20:10 > 0:20:12And I did and it was all fine.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Absolutely fine. He took it really well.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I don't know what I was so worried about.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19So, yeah, I feel really happy about it now
0:20:19 > 0:20:24and I'm officially an out bisexual man to both my mum and my dad,
0:20:24 > 0:20:26and my friends all know now.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30My uni friends know, erm, so, yeah, someone get me a T-shirt.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Out and proud and all that rubbish.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Total renovation.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Really, everything. The ceiling came down two weeks ago.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Replastered the whole walls.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Rendered it.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59It's good. It's good.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04You said you can't notice any changes in three weeks,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07but you can't have looked hard enough, because look at that.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Oh, it's only because I hadn't really been in here last time.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Now, that bit's all different.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Well, that stonework was only done last week.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26To say I haven't thought about it is an understatement, because I really,
0:21:26 > 0:21:31really have. Is it anything I've done to make him that way?
0:21:31 > 0:21:32No.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35He is who he is. That's fine.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37How would other people react to me?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Then, I thought, "Hang on, he's happy. What's it to do with them?"
0:21:39 > 0:21:41You know? Fine.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43If I ever have a negative thought,
0:21:43 > 0:21:48as long as you're happy, that cancels out everything else.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51When you build something up for a long time in your head,
0:21:51 > 0:21:55you can get a bit anxious and worried about it, but, you know,
0:21:55 > 0:21:59it was all fine. And afterwards, you acted like so cool about it,
0:21:59 > 0:22:03so I was just really happy and glad that I'd finally done it.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- A weight off your mind.- Yeah.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07- Is it?- Yeah.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Is there people who don't understand, do you think?
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Because I'm bisexual and I like men and women,
0:22:13 > 0:22:17there's this idea that we're very promiscuous,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20or that we're just, like, secretly gay or something.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I don't... I do not understand that.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I was worried about your loneliness.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27How long you'd bottled it up.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28That was a big worry.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33My current wife, she is my rock.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35It don't matter to me if it's a bloke or a woman who's going to
0:22:35 > 0:22:37one day be your rock. You'll know it when it is.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- Are you proud of him?- Definitely.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Without a doubt.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46To be this open and honest as well?
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Very proud.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12One of the things I'm proud of in my life is coming out to my parents,
0:23:12 > 0:23:17and coming out to everyone, like, my friends and everything,
0:23:17 > 0:23:22and just being this more confident person recently,
0:23:22 > 0:23:28and I'm really proud that I can say that I'm proud that I've done that.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33I think why I was so happy that I'd done it is because I'd been
0:23:33 > 0:23:35so nervous and so worried about it for so long.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39I'd been so insecure and I'd carried around all these negative feelings
0:23:39 > 0:23:43and emotions, and I'd finally overcome them and finally dealt
0:23:43 > 0:23:47with them and finally done this thing
0:23:47 > 0:23:49that I'd wanted to do for so long,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52and just be who I really am.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56You know, that old cliche and I just...
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I was - and I am - really happy now that I've done it.