0:00:07 > 0:00:09Hinduism is not a single religion
0:00:09 > 0:00:14but a vast collection of diverse religious traditions.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17The god that we believe in is the one in the middle.
0:00:17 > 0:00:22Mum always ensured that we understood and respected religion
0:00:22 > 0:00:24and tried to follow it in every way we can.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Marriage is at the centre of the religion.
0:00:28 > 0:00:32Alpa Saujani is a matchmaker to the Hindu community.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36A lot of Hinduism focuses around family, culture and values
0:00:36 > 0:00:39so it's the meeting not only of man and wife,
0:00:39 > 0:00:41it's also the integration of a family.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45But it's not easy finding a partner
0:00:45 > 0:00:47when you're young, British and Hindu.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Within Hindu you want somebody who's Gujarati
0:00:50 > 0:00:53and within Gujarati you want somebody who is Patel
0:00:53 > 0:00:56and within Patel you want somebody that's in a certain village.
0:00:56 > 0:01:02Ultimately, you're just left with a handful of people that you can possibly marry.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06At almost 29, Hasmita is considered old to be single,
0:01:06 > 0:01:08and is struggling to find a partner.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11It doesn't help that she has a long wish list.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Ideally non-smoking.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Not someone who's completely teetotal because...
0:01:16 > 0:01:17that would be boring.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Someone who's, you know, who knows themselves,
0:01:20 > 0:01:22knows what they want out of life.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26He also has to originate from a particular village in India.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30For me, it's a big issue if a boy I'm looking for comes from Madhapar.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32That's where all my mum's family is.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35With pressure from her mum mounting,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Hasmita has come to see some matchmakers to the community.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40- Hi.- Hi.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42How old are you?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I'm going to be 29 next month.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49It's not wasting my life.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Yeah, you need to find someone.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Well, YOU need to find ME someone!
0:02:01 > 0:02:06Although it is traditional for Hindu parents to find their children a partner,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09it's a big step for some young Hindus to allow them to.
0:02:09 > 0:02:1525-year-old student Jalpa Patel has recently asked her parents to find her someone to marry.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I told them, "Listen,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19"if there is anyone you have in mind,
0:02:19 > 0:02:24"let me know. I'll think about it, I'll speak to them and we'll see what happens."
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Like many young Hindus,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29Jalpa's close to her parents and trusts them to make a match.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33He's a typical dad so his reaction when I told him was ecstatic.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36He was so happy and just like, "Oh, really? Oh, wow!"
0:02:36 > 0:02:39He was on the phone straightaway talking to his friend.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43I don't know if I done the right thing but it's worth a try really
0:02:43 > 0:02:45so I've got nothing to lose in any way whatsoever.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Parents put out feelers to friends and family
0:02:51 > 0:02:54and then your mum will get a phone call
0:02:54 > 0:02:57to say there's xyz boy, for example,
0:02:57 > 0:02:59and you'll then talk to the boy
0:02:59 > 0:03:02and decide whether to go on a date with him or not.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08Today, Jalpa is going on her first ever introduction.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11His name is Viral and he works in the City.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14His aunt is friends with Jalpa's family.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- Hello, hello, hello.- Hi, Jalpa. - Hi, how are you?- Nice to meet you.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21My grandma met my grandad when she sat next to him to get married to him.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24That's the first time she met him. She was 16 years old.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- Shall we grab a coffee?- Yeah, sure.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Nowadays, arranged is being introduced to someone through someone.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33All I know about her is pretty much her name
0:03:33 > 0:03:36and a bit about what she does but not too much detail.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- So you've got an older brother or a younger brother?- Older.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41He's 27, yeah.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- You don't have any sisters though? - No. Just one older brother.- Cool.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I wouldn't have been like that on a normal date.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51All the stuff that he was saying, it's like your whole CV,
0:03:51 > 0:03:53but your personal CV cos, well...
0:03:53 > 0:03:56SHE LAUGHS
0:03:56 > 0:04:00When Jalpa gets home, her mum wants to know how it went.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04There just wasn't a spark. There wasn't, you know, like, excitement.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- It didn't click. - No, Mother, it didn't click.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Through a family introduction,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Hasmita's been getting to know someone called Dipesh
0:04:14 > 0:04:17who, amazingly, comes from her village in India.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18But she's never met him
0:04:18 > 0:04:22because he lives over 4,000 miles away in Dubai.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25He's got a lot of pictures of his nieces and nephews
0:04:25 > 0:04:29and when I speak to him, he sounds incredibly family-orientated.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32It just helps create a picture of someone.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34What their interests are and things.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39Hasmita has decided to visit Dipesh in Dubai on her own for two weeks.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Her friend Martina has some words of warning.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Oh, my God, the only point of contact you have
0:04:45 > 0:04:47is through Google Talk, e-mails or phone calls.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50You've never him, you don't know what he's like.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Yeah, but that's because he fits my list.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Is it because your family know him?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Yeah. There's definitely comfort in the fact my aunt knows him.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00OK, he's a random stranger to me
0:05:00 > 0:05:02but to my family, he's not a random stranger.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Even though her parents are looking, Jalpa has met someone herself.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10A boy called Diep.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12But she's reluctant to tell her parents about him
0:05:12 > 0:05:15until she's sure he's serious.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19I'm trying to keep my options open because I don't know where it's heading.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24Cos nothing's kind of been said that we're together.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I feel we bounce off each other really well. I have a laugh with her.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I won!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32I have a fair idea of what she wants.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36As girls do fairytales and she's dreaming...
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- It worries me.- What worries you?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41The preparing for a wedding.
0:05:44 > 0:05:50In Dubai, Hasmita has met Dipesh for the first time.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Despite only having been there for a few days
0:05:52 > 0:05:55they both think they've found the one.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57It feels really familiar. Like I know him.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03Was there ever a point where you thought we have a good connection?
0:06:03 > 0:06:04What do you think?
0:06:06 > 0:06:10We were really relaxed and then he's like,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13"Yeah, we should got for it." I'm like, "Go for what?"
0:06:13 > 0:06:15He's like, "We should go for it. Get married."
0:06:15 > 0:06:20Everything I wanted has just fallen into place.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26CHEERING
0:06:26 > 0:06:31Jalpa is disillusioned with the traditional methods of meeting a partner.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33I need there to be a spark.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Like, obviously, loads of people do find their perfect other halves like this
0:06:37 > 0:06:39but I don't think it's the way for me
0:06:39 > 0:06:41to find the person I want to be with.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43But for Hasmita,
0:06:43 > 0:06:48the introduction process has given her a fairytale ending.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53She's getting married to Dipesh in India just four months after meeting him.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Going from a single girl to a married woman is a huge change
0:06:58 > 0:07:03but I've had a long time to be a single girl
0:07:03 > 0:07:05and now it's time to be a married woman.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07We had a great time together.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08I'm so glad. It's once in a lifetime.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21It's Ramadan and 22-year-old Naila, a devout Muslim,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23is fasting and praying.
0:07:23 > 0:07:29Her faith tells her that Allah is helping her search for a husband.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33When I'm ready Allah will...
0:07:33 > 0:07:37present the family and present the person, that is right.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38It's all in his hands.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39All I can do is do my best
0:07:39 > 0:07:43because Allah doesn't help those who don't help themselves.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50As a Muslim the right way is to go within the boundaries
0:07:50 > 0:07:55that Islam has set for us in the form of the holy Koran.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Manchester Central Mosque's imam Muhammad Arshad Misbahi
0:08:00 > 0:08:04counsels his members that there are strong reasons to be married.
0:08:04 > 0:08:10It saves you and protects you and gives you a feeling of belonging
0:08:10 > 0:08:15because the family is the basic unity of the larger society.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Muslims regard Islam as a complete way of life.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23At Naila's local mosque, young men and women
0:08:23 > 0:08:25attend a class on married life.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28If you marry someone that has a cleaner,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30you have to also provide for the cleaner
0:08:30 > 0:08:32that she's used to having come in...
0:08:32 > 0:08:34The sexes are separated by a sheet.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Observant single Muslims are not allowed to date
0:08:37 > 0:08:39or even mix together.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Are there any sisters back there who have a cleaner
0:08:42 > 0:08:44come in for five hours every week
0:08:44 > 0:08:47cos, if yes, the brothers out here, they can't afford that.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50LAUGHTER
0:08:50 > 0:08:53It is commanded upon us not to mix freely.
0:08:53 > 0:08:58You don't necessarily want to be distracted by the opposite sex, for instance.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Many Muslims have their marriages arranged for them by their parents.
0:09:04 > 0:09:12It's because a Muslim marriage is as much about the coming together of two families as two individuals.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17Parents would visit each other for a number of times with the family
0:09:17 > 0:09:22and observe the character and the manners and the attitude
0:09:22 > 0:09:25and the background of the partner-to-be.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Naila's mum is looking for a husband for her.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35He must be practising, with a polite personality
0:09:35 > 0:09:38and a good character.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41A sort of laid back person.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44That's what I'm looking for.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46She's like the first hurdle.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50So it means that if she feels that somebody is suitable,
0:09:50 > 0:09:54then I kind of have the opportunity to make my own mind up.
0:09:54 > 0:10:03She's trusting me so I have to fulfil my responsibilities.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Not the actual wedding...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10This week Naila's meeting someone for the first time
0:10:10 > 0:10:14and she has called her imam for a pep talk.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18It's the pressure of going into the meeting
0:10:18 > 0:10:25and perhaps feeling like you won't like that person.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28You're going to have to pluck up the courage to say no.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31'You're going to tell you mum, "No, I don't like him."
0:10:31 > 0:10:33'Your mum's going to tell his mum then...
0:10:33 > 0:10:35'There's three people of removal
0:10:35 > 0:10:37'between you having to have that conversation with him.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39'Right?'
0:10:39 > 0:10:40My mum's sitting here going,
0:10:40 > 0:10:45"Right, that's it, put everything on Mum's shoulders."
0:10:45 > 0:10:49It highlighted to me that I'm in a much better position
0:10:49 > 0:10:53than anybody that's going out there meeting somebody one-to-one
0:10:53 > 0:10:59cos I don't have the pressures of what do I do if he's an ogre?
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Naila's family has congregated to vet the visiting potential husband and his family.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11She's worried about how she'll come across.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15You kind of need your personality to shine
0:11:15 > 0:11:18and obviously with everybody in the room
0:11:18 > 0:11:21and you've got your family and his family and his parents and yours
0:11:21 > 0:11:27and everybody's kind of... How do you kind of let that come though?
0:11:29 > 0:11:3423-year-old Zubair is looking for a wife to take back to Pakistan.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37He's about to have his first introduction.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40This is the first time I've spoken face-to-face
0:11:40 > 0:11:43with a woman about marriage and it's peculiar.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It is very peculiar for me because I've never done it before.
0:11:46 > 0:11:51But first he has to get through her dad.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I was born and raised in this country.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56I moved to Pakistan when I was about 14 years old.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- Parents? - My parents are still in Lahore, sir.
0:12:00 > 0:12:06Shall I leave you to have a chat to Hasana, my daughter?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Inshallah.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13First thing is, what would you prefer in a guy as well.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Somebody who is quite calm.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Shall I go now?
0:12:19 > 0:12:23All right. Pakistani origin - a necessity?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- No, Indian.- Indian.- Yeah.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29So, were you hoping to remain in the UK or were you looking to go back?
0:12:29 > 0:12:33- I would like eventually to go back to Pakistan, yes.- Right.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37What would you think about philanthropic work in different countries?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I think that would be a bit daunting.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45I think I'm just going to call my parents.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Tell them that I met a girl and I liked her.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51But the decision to see Zubair again is hers.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Generally in these circumstances,
0:12:53 > 0:12:55it would be the girl who would dictate
0:12:55 > 0:12:58whether she would want another meeting or not.
0:12:58 > 0:13:03So it's definitely putting us girls in the driver's seat.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09At Naila's, the family gives their verdict on her first arranged introduction.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12What did you think of him?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Honestly, I thought they were all right.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18For the first meeting, it seemed all right.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Well, I'd say he's worthy of my sister.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26- He's good enough for my sister.- Oh, so it just took one meeting for you to just say...- No, because...- Hooo!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32But Naila's mum decides against a second meeting.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34She thinks the boy's Pakistani upbringing
0:13:34 > 0:13:37will clash with Naila's British sensibility.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I think that knowing me
0:13:40 > 0:13:45and knowing how I am, my mum has sort of said that...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Reservations?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Yeah, she has a couple of reservations as to how
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I would kind of cope in that situation.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Zubair's learned Hasana doesn't want a second meeting
0:13:57 > 0:13:59because she'd like to stay in the UK.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Today he's headed back to Pakistan.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07The success was never in my hands anyway.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11If you're a Muslim... Or if you believe in God, you believe that.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You believe that you try and God rewards the effort.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18For both Naila and Zubair,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21their belief in the arranged marriage system remains undimmed.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Evangelical Christians, even more than most Christians,
0:14:34 > 0:14:39place a high priority on living strictly according to biblical principles
0:14:39 > 0:14:42and on spreading the word of God to other people.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Praise the Lord.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50What does it feel like to know God?
0:14:50 > 0:14:56Amazing. It's brilliant actually. It is fantastic.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58I find myself often praying to God, talking to God.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Before I speak, I'm talking to God.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Before I do a show,
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I'm talking with God.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I'd like to encourage you to get serious for God
0:15:07 > 0:15:09cos he's serious about you.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Really and truly, he's at the centre of my whole entire life.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20But finding a partner when you're an evangelical Christian can be tough.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Falling in love is exciting, wonderful and brilliant.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27But it's all within the context of God's will for them.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Joe works with young people at Hope City Church in Sheffield
0:15:32 > 0:15:34and often finds herself advising them
0:15:34 > 0:15:38when they're trying to find love whilst sticking to the rules.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Recommendations to follow would be not being together
0:15:41 > 0:15:45too late at night when maybe your standards might slip
0:15:45 > 0:15:49a little bit in your mind, you touch the body parts you've got yourself
0:15:49 > 0:15:53and you don't touch the body parts you haven't got yourself.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58Evangelical Christians date with the aim of marriage,
0:15:58 > 0:16:03wait to have sex until they're married and believe in absolute faithfulness once they're wed.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08I think marriage is important within Christianity
0:16:08 > 0:16:11because family is the bedrock of society.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Waiting to have sex in marriage is really important as a Christian.
0:16:18 > 0:16:2227-year-old Katy has been single for five years and would like to get married.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26But she's finding it difficult to meet someone who fits her criteria.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29My outline of the right guy.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Number one is definitely that they have to be a Christian.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Number two is the whole drinker, smoker thing I'm not too keen on.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Quite high up the list, can sing or dance.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40And last but not least...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44An American guy. Please!
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Evangelical Christians believe God decides who and when you marry.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Some feel this means you shouldn't go looking for a partner.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Others feel it does no harm.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58How is he going to, you know, let you know
0:16:58 > 0:17:02that perhaps that's the right one if your head's stuck in the Bible.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Not that you shouldn't read the Bible at the same time.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Katy is headed to Creation Fest in Cornwall,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11where there'll be committed Christian guys.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15The Christian festival circuit's well-known as somewhere young people can meet a partner.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18But even when she finds her perfect match,
0:17:18 > 0:17:21he won't be her first priority.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25If Jesus isn't number one, then ultimately you're trying
0:17:25 > 0:17:29to put somebody else in place where he should be.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33When she arrives, the signs are good.
0:17:33 > 0:17:38I just found out 70 American volunteers...
0:17:38 > 0:17:39Quite exciting.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45At lunch, Katy catches up with the American volunteers
0:17:45 > 0:17:49and one in particular, Jake, catches her eye.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Like Katy, he's a youth pastor
0:17:51 > 0:17:55and sings and dances in a Christian band.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57He seems to tick most of Katy's boxes.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59So you're still from Californian?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Katy and Jake spend much of the next five days hanging out together.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11God knows you're going through some hard times, but God's got a plan.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It's been awesome to meet you.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It's been good to meet you. I might stay tomorrow.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18The last thing I would have expected to meet
0:18:18 > 0:18:22would be an American, Californian Christian.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24That's just amazing, really.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30But at the end, she still doesn't know how we feels.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Even when you go to a Christian singles event,
0:18:34 > 0:18:38there might not be the right sort of Christian for you there.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Richard has been single for two years due to his busy career
0:18:41 > 0:18:45as an evangelical television presenter.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49I'd love to be married within a year, max a year-and-a-half.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Richard's come to a social event for young Christians
0:18:53 > 0:18:57organised by one of the UK's most popular churches, Hillsong.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00He's brought along his good friend Anna for moral support.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07But after less than half an hour, Richard thinks he's chosen
0:19:07 > 0:19:10the wrong place to spot his future wife.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12It's not just the flowing alcohol,
0:19:12 > 0:19:14but how the other guests are dancing with each other,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17that has offended his Christian beliefs.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It's not really the environment,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I guess, that I would find my life partner at,
0:19:22 > 0:19:25because I would not expect my life partner to dance around
0:19:25 > 0:19:28with other guys, or her lady friends in a very sexual way.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Katy and Jake both think they've found the one,
0:19:35 > 0:19:38but with only two days before Jake leaves for the States,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41they need to tell each other how they feel.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I guess when we met it was kind of like...
0:19:43 > 0:19:46after meeting you, I really don't want anybody else.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Like, I'd just be happy being with you.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53My sister said it right, she said it's like God's hand picked you for me.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Cool.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02So we're on the same page? We can make it Facebook official?
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Yeah.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06But Jake won't be kissing Katy goodbye
0:20:06 > 0:20:08because, like some evangelicals,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11he doesn't believe in kissing before marriage.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I've actually never kissed anybody before.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16It was something I just feel like
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I want to have that just for my wife and her only.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24So we're going to wait until the day of the wedding to kiss.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27At the moment I'm like, I don't really know
0:20:27 > 0:20:30whether he wants to hold hands, or anything.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34But Katy is persuaded that there are benefits to waiting.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37It's a test of your faithfulness to the Church's teaching.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40I think it's special if you can wait until the wedding day,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42which is really, really hard,
0:20:42 > 0:20:47oh my goodness, because I do like kissing a lot!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Katy is already planning a visit to California.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53In a couple of months' time, she will be closer to finding out
0:20:53 > 0:20:57whether Jake is really the man she is destined to marry
0:20:57 > 0:21:01and whether their shared faith will bring them together.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Jake is kind of like everything I ever wanted in a guy
0:21:06 > 0:21:09and just to know about God knows me in that detail
0:21:09 > 0:21:12and that he cares about me that much
0:21:12 > 0:21:15is kind of mind-blowing, really.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26Richard's not found anyone yet but he's sure she's out there.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31I need to find someone that matches my destination in life.
0:21:31 > 0:21:36It's a journey and I look forward to finding them and meeting them
0:21:36 > 0:21:37when that time and day comes.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47CHANTING
0:21:50 > 0:21:54In Judaism, tradition and practice is as important as religious belief.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04I'd describe myself as culturally or traditionally Jewish as opposed to religiously Jewish.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08For example, I had a Jewish education, I had a Bar Mitzvah,
0:22:08 > 0:22:13I can read and write Hebrew and I try and go out with Jewish girls.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Though that's not really worked.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Marriage is believed to be the ideal state in Judaism.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24It is for love companionship, not just the bringing up of children.
0:22:24 > 0:22:30It's decreed in heaven this man and this woman are meant for each other.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Each one is a half of a soul.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34When they get married,
0:22:34 > 0:22:39the event is the reunion, the soul becoming complete again.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Rabbi Lou acts as a matchmaker and relationship counsellor
0:22:44 > 0:22:46to the Jewish community.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49He knows that for many Jews the decision to marry
0:22:49 > 0:22:52in or out of the religion is one of the biggest they will ever face.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55The Torah tells us we're not supposed to marry
0:22:55 > 0:22:58someone from a different faith.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02When a person marries outside of the religion,
0:23:02 > 0:23:06it's a statement that religion
0:23:06 > 0:23:10is not relevant to this marriage.
0:23:10 > 0:23:1522-year-old Natalie is a law student living in north London,
0:23:15 > 0:23:18one of the UK's most densely Jewish areas.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Despite this, she is struggling to find a Jewish boyfriend,
0:23:21 > 0:23:24possibly because her wish list is so specific.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27My checklist for a guy - broad shoulders,
0:23:27 > 0:23:30quite well-built and someone that won't bore me.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32And he has to be ambitious.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36All I know this that they have to be tall.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40On top of that, being a modern Orthodox Jew,
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Natalie wants to find a guy who shares her level of observance.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Orthodox Jews believe the laws set out in the Torah are final.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Natalie spends every Friday night with her grandparents
0:23:51 > 0:23:53for the dinner that brings in the Sabbath.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Elohim bayom hash'vi'i...
0:23:57 > 0:23:59she also keeps kosher, which is a set of dietary laws
0:23:59 > 0:24:02set out in the Torah.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06So here you've got the oven, cooker and a sink,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10so all the meat utensils are separate from this side of the kitchen,
0:24:10 > 0:24:12which is the milk side.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19Different branches of Judaism date in different ways.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Hasidic Jews, who live most strictly according to Jewish laws,
0:24:23 > 0:24:26use the Shidduch system where they're introduced by rabbis
0:24:26 > 0:24:30and matchmakers because there's little mixing between the sexes.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33In the conventional Western style,
0:24:33 > 0:24:37it takes a long time until you find out about the person,
0:24:37 > 0:24:42and even longer about history or other related things
0:24:42 > 0:24:46that you might have wanted to know earlier.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49In the Shidduch system, all of that homework is done
0:24:49 > 0:24:51by trusted people beforehand.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56With only 300,000 Jewish people in the UK,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58even non-Hasidics like Natalie
0:24:58 > 0:25:01will use a traditional matchmaker to find a partner.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04She has come to see Linda,
0:25:04 > 0:25:06who has introduced thousands of Jewish singles
0:25:06 > 0:25:08over the past 20 years.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- Hi.- Hi. It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15But even Linda could have her work cut out with Natalie.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- You're making a bit of a list here. - That's why I'm single.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21OK, we might try and cut this down a bit, OK.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25I think that the height thing is...
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I think it should be negotiable.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28It's just not.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32It's just so not that I'd actually rather date a 35-year-old
0:25:32 > 0:25:36- that was six-foot-four than a 25-year-old that was five-foot-four. - OK, OK.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Thank you very much.- OK, bye.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42I think it's not going to be easy.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45I think she's got very, very set ideas of what she wants.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46- Hey, Laura.- Hi.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Richard is in a dilemma.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50He has recently started seeing someone
0:25:50 > 0:25:53who he really likes, called Laura.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56The only problem is that she's not Jewish.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01HE READS SCRIPTURE
0:26:01 > 0:26:05'I don't think my family would be too pleased if I married someone non-Jewish. It's like
0:26:05 > 0:26:07'rejecting everything they've taught me.'
0:26:07 > 0:26:11If Richard wanted to marry someone who wasn't Jewish, I would be...
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I would be very upset.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17'He's always said that he wants his children to be Jewish,'
0:26:17 > 0:26:20so that means he has to marry a Jewish girl.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Trying to counteract his feelings for Laura and find a Jewish partner
0:26:27 > 0:26:31instead, Richard has come to Jewish speed-dating.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33- How are you doing? You all right?- How are you?
0:26:33 > 0:26:38- But he's frustrated by his limited choice.- Nice to meet you.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41- I'm Richard.- Hello. I'm Natalie. - Nice to meet you, Natalie.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45- I'm from Manchester. - Manchester's great.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- Do you know it, yeah?- Yeah.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- Do you know any people over there? - Um...
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Mark Mickler?
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- Yeah, I know Mark... Wait, you used to go out with Mark Mickler, didn't you?- Yes.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01I recognise you. I met you at one of his best friends' weddings, yeah.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- I'll move on.- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08See, that's how close this Jewish community is. It's crazy.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12There were only three girls there tonight and I actually knew one of them.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Richard signs up to the world's largest Jewish dating site
0:27:16 > 0:27:20but because of his feelings for non-Jewish Laura,
0:27:20 > 0:27:23he's unable to see anyone on it he wants to message.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27I can't even see any Jewish girls out there that I like, who I want to be with.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31There's Laura on the other side, who's absolutely stunning.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I have such a laugh with her, and she's not Jewish,
0:27:33 > 0:27:37so, you know, are you saying I've got to be single now?
0:27:37 > 0:27:38I can't be happy?
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Richard isn't ready to choose head over heart and finish with Laura.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Instead, he decides to take her out for her birthday.
0:27:49 > 0:27:54I've got this conflicting opinion in my head about what to do because
0:27:54 > 0:27:59she is absolutely amazing and it is getting a little bit more serious.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- Hi, Laura. So nice to see you. You all right?- Yes, thanks.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07'He's taking me out for dinner tonight, which is really nice.'
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Yeah, I do like him. He's funny, I get on well with him,
0:28:10 > 0:28:14- I have a good time when I'm with him. - OK, so, happy birthday, Laura. 26.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- Thanks.- It's a good age.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19The main thing is a card which I've written to her,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22just saying that I do have strong feelings for her.
0:28:22 > 0:28:28It'll be a hard decision to make but if I leave it any longer, it'll be even harder.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31Natalie is still searching for her Mr Right, but for her,
0:28:31 > 0:28:36like many Jews, the decision whether to marry in or out is much clearer.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40To continue the tradition, the Jewish family values,
0:28:40 > 0:28:44my husband has to be Jewish, otherwise it won't work.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd