0:00:02 > 0:00:05Finding a partner is tough at the best of times.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07How am I around women?
0:00:07 > 0:00:10I don't know - they don't hang around enough for me to find out.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12If you're young, single and religious,
0:00:12 > 0:00:14it's a whole other ball game.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17No sex before marriage.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21If you could meet your ideal Jewish person, what would it be?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23- Full head of hair.- Excellent.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25There's pressure to get married,
0:00:25 > 0:00:29especially when you're going to your last best friend's wedding.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Tonight, we're following three Muslim singletons
0:00:33 > 0:00:35on their journey to find The One.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Are you looking for Angelina Jolie in a scarf?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39No, they'll run a mile when the see the beard.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42We'll find out what happens when you're looking for a wife
0:00:42 > 0:00:45when you've barely even spoken to a girl before.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Islam demands that you have to get married
0:00:48 > 0:00:50and the older you are, the harder it gets.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53And when you have left it really late...
0:00:53 > 0:00:58I actually did think I'd be married by now, at least once.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Should you still hold out for Mr Perfect?
0:01:01 > 0:01:06I've got re-think what my father would have wanted for me.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08And if an arranged marriage is on the cards...
0:01:08 > 0:01:14It's like Blind Date, I guess, but your mum is Cilla Black.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17How can you be sure he's the right one?
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I wish I knew how I felt but I don't.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25I think you're supposed to know, but I really don't.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Zubair is a 23-year-old practising Muslim
0:01:33 > 0:01:38who is studying Engineering at Manchester Uni.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40The prophet advised the Muslims to keep the beard
0:01:40 > 0:01:42about the length that I've got,
0:01:42 > 0:01:46so when you cover it with a fist it should fit in there.
0:01:48 > 0:01:53He may be serious about his religion but he's not about himself.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Hello.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Very nice of you to let me into your country.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Living with Zubair, what comes to mind? Annoying.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07Hard, difficult, but most important of all is fun.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09He's a great guy, he's a great guy.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12A mate of mine once said, "Zubair, it must be very hard
0:02:12 > 0:02:14"for you to buy one-way flights nowadays."
0:02:14 > 0:02:17LAUGHTER
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Zubair's just graduated
0:02:22 > 0:02:26and is planning to move to Pakistan in five months
0:02:26 > 0:02:28so he can put his degree to good use.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Maybe I'm naive thinking this,
0:02:29 > 0:02:33but I do want to go back and at least try to help rebuild
0:02:33 > 0:02:34and give back to Pakistan.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38As a strict Muslim, it's his religious duty to now find a wife.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42He'd like to find someone in the UK, but he hasn't got long.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44I pray to Allah for a lot of things.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47One of the more immediate goals is to find a match quick-time.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49And there's one other problem -
0:02:49 > 0:02:53he has no experience of women whatsoever.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56He wouldn't be able to pull a girl, even if he was pushing.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59How would I describe the way I am around women?
0:02:59 > 0:03:03I don't know - they don't hang around long enough for me to find out.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Hello, how are you, Zubair? Have a seat.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19As a traditional Muslim, Zubair's never even been out with a girl.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23So if he's ever going to find a wife, he needs some help.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27OK, so you've never had a single girl you've sat down with,
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- and you've spoken to.- No, I've never spoken to a woman like that.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35Today, he's meeting Mizan, who runs a Muslim marriage agency.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39When you do arrange a meeting, these are some tips.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41OK.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45If you're going to check out the girl, don't gawk at her,
0:03:45 > 0:03:51just say, "Yeah, you're good looking." Beauty is important.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I mean, sometimes people think religious people
0:03:54 > 0:03:56or those who are very conservative and practise,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59beauty's not important. How much of a factor is beauty?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01No, whether you like it or not, people are silly to say that.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I mean, are you looking for an Angelina Jolie in a scarf?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06No, no, I'm never going to get one of them,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08they're going to run a mile when they see the beard.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Dress to impress.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13The man should look serious, I mean, you don't have to wear a suit,
0:04:13 > 0:04:17something smart casual.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20OK, smell good, dress up, look the part.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22When you're in a meeting, be specific, get to the point.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Don't waffle when you talk, don't lie, just ask the basic questions.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29OK.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Remember men from Mars, women from Venus,
0:04:31 > 0:04:34there's a lot of truth in that, Muslim or not Muslim,
0:04:34 > 0:04:35there's a lot of truth in that,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38and Muslim women are no different from any other women.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- OK, man. Asalamu alaykum. - Alaykum salam.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45What he was giving me in terms of advice, not just how to present yourself.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49But also the actual formality of two people meeting each other.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54And plus it was almost like he was giving me some sort of dating tips.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Like, "When you go in there,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58"be a gentleman, pay the bill," things like that.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Islamically, we can't really go down to the pub,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10we can't go to a club to meet people.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Even if we did, they won't really be Muslim.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16In the Qu'ran, it actually, specifically states
0:05:16 > 0:05:20that men and women aren't even to be in the same room,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23that's how much there is that, sort of, difference.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26What Islam says is, yes, you meet people, but don't go any further.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Don't develop a physical relationship.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31You can't just go up to a chick and say, "Excuse me, darling,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34"can I get your father's number, because I want to ask him
0:05:34 > 0:05:37"if I can talk to you about marriage." Mental, people, mental.
0:05:40 > 0:05:4431-year-old Tabassum, or Dimpy, is a doctor
0:05:44 > 0:05:47and lives at home with her family in Hertfordshire.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Everyone calls me "Dimpy" at home, short for "Dimples".
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I used to have them but now they are gone because of the fat.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I have a very strong faith in Allah,
0:05:55 > 0:06:01yet I may not be a very strong practising Muslim.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I try to pray when I can.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Dimpy has always wanted to marry a doctor,
0:06:07 > 0:06:11and over the past ten years, she's turned down over 60 men
0:06:11 > 0:06:13who haven't measured up.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Doctors in the Pakistani community are at the top of the food chain.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20So, if I was to marry someone who was not a doctor,
0:06:20 > 0:06:24I don't think I would be comfortable with that.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28We've had numerous, multiple proposals over the years
0:06:28 > 0:06:31but she'll take one look at him then she'll dismiss it.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Dimpy's dad wanted her to marry a doctor too.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36He died three years ago
0:06:36 > 0:06:40and now she's more determined than ever to find the right sort of man.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I always look for a guy who my father would approve of
0:06:43 > 0:06:45and that's very important for me.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48She's trying to follow a list of expectations
0:06:48 > 0:06:50that she has imbibed from her father
0:06:50 > 0:06:54and obviously she's very attached to him, she loves him, we all do.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I miss him, I really miss him.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Most Muslim girls get married young so at the ripe old age of 31,
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Dimpy really needs to get her skates on.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16Even the nurses at work get worried about me settling down.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19They are constantly on the lookout for someone.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Today she's visiting her Aunt Nabeela.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Since Dimpy's dad died, Nabeela's been trying to find her a husband
0:07:26 > 0:07:28but Dimpy's not making it easy.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Somebody with all the qualities you want
0:07:31 > 0:07:34is very difficult to find, Dimpy.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38This person is not tall enough for me, he's not handsome enough for me,
0:07:38 > 0:07:43he's not professional enough. These things come so low in marriage priorities.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Getting married is a very serious matter.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I get palpitations, when I see somebody
0:07:48 > 0:07:51and I just instantly know that this is not going to happen,
0:07:51 > 0:07:56I start thinking "This is for the rest of my life, I can't..."
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I want to get out of there as soon as possible.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01That is exactly what I'm saying,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04don't set standards that high that are difficult to find.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06So hard.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08It is hard, but then you have to go for it.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Naila is a traditional Muslim accountancy student from London.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29Although she loves taking risks in her free time,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32when it comes to finding a husband
0:08:32 > 0:08:34she wants to do everything strictly by the book,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36and have an arranged marriage.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38We plan everything else in life, this sounds crazy
0:08:38 > 0:08:41but why would you leave love to chance?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Muslim girls aren't for rent, you know, you've got to buy.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Naila's the eldest girl in the family.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Now, she's 22, it's time to find her a husband.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Arranged marriage is, especially if your mum's arranging it,
0:08:54 > 0:09:00it's like Blind date, I guess, but your mum's Cilla Black.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Although her mum's arranging her marriage,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Naila is allowed to say if she doesn't like someone.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13She's trusting me, so I have to fulfil my responsibility.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18She's like the first hurdle,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20so, it means if she feels that somebody is suitable
0:09:20 > 0:09:25then I have the opportunity to make my own mind up.
0:09:33 > 0:09:39It's been a few weeks since Naila's mum began the search for a husband.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43A family friend has given her the number of a possible match.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48If he's going to get a meeting with Naila,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51he needs to impress her mum on the phone first.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54It's just literally a stranger's number,
0:09:54 > 0:09:59so she'd speak to them and get to know what they're about, really.
0:09:59 > 0:10:05If she feels that, that's somebody that could belong in this family.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Did you have a gut feeling?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Yes, my concern is he hasn't got education.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20So, for you, education is...
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Would you like to live with a person
0:10:22 > 0:10:25who is working in a Cash-and-Carry till?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Don't be horrible like that.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30That's fine for him if he's hard-working.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32You are dissing someone!
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, it's up to you, you want to live your life,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37you haven't got any experience of life
0:10:37 > 0:10:40that's why you're laughing and making jokes on it.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I'm your mother and I know your personality.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45If I say "yes" and things go further on,
0:10:45 > 0:10:49you will be the one who turns round and says,
0:10:49 > 0:10:53"Mum, you have done this to me." So, yeah.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57All right, yeah, fair enough. Point taken.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Mums always know better. - Yes.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14I've got a proposal - the auntie has sent me the guy's CV.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18If Dimpy's going to find a husband her dad would have approved of,
0:11:18 > 0:11:20she needs to step up her search.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Recently she's seen a matchmaker.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27She's e-mailed Dimpy the profile of a possible husband
0:11:27 > 0:11:28and he wants to meet her.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- You've got a CV as well? - I've got a CV.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Is that the new way? It's like a job application.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36It is. I think I deserve a CV.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39She may be a modern Muslim woman,
0:11:39 > 0:11:41but when it comes to finding someone,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44her brother and cousin have to check them out first.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46They do the screening
0:11:46 > 0:11:49because they feel that they have got to answer to my father
0:11:49 > 0:11:51and that's what scares them.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Every time there is a marriage proposal they get excited,
0:11:55 > 0:11:59they say this is the one, you're getting married - you're old.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Dimpy's brother and cousin have already had to check out over 20 men
0:12:04 > 0:12:06since her dad died.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- He seems quite professional. - He's educated.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10No, he's only got a bachelor's.
0:12:10 > 0:12:15Yeah, but he's educated, he's got 11 years of proven banking experience.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Here's a picture of him. OK, don't laugh, yeah?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25All right, look, he's not particularly...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27..I wouldn't say he's good-looking.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Like...
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I still think... He...he...
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Right, I'll tell you one thing,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37physical attraction has to be your thing,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I don't give a... I don't really care what he looks like.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41She's got bad taste.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45He's attractive in terms of his education and his experience.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Not really, I'd prefer a doctor, you know that.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Yes, but, I was going to say, beggars can't be choosers,
0:12:50 > 0:12:52but that's a bit...
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I think we should give him a shot.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55I think we are giving him a shot.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59I said, yes, I'd meet him, I just thought I'd OK it by you guys.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Good.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Another thing that came up from one of the brothers
0:13:10 > 0:13:13is that she should be a good wife, and be able to cook and clean.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17While her mum's on the case looking for a husband,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Naila's come to the local mosque
0:13:19 > 0:13:23for a workshop on what makes a successful Muslim relationship.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25These are all answers from some of the brothers.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30"Someone with a beautiful face, and good at fulfilling my needs
0:13:30 > 0:13:32"and be fruity."
0:13:32 > 0:13:34And be fruity? What does that mean?
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Who said fruity?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Does that mean being able to make, like, a good fruit punch,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41or something?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Being fruity, that's from the men,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45it didn't come up a lot but it came up anyway.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47"Or shows obedience and has no deficiencies.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49"Wears good clothing and smells nice."
0:13:49 > 0:13:53These are women of paradise you're asking for. These are not...
0:13:53 > 0:13:56You're asking for a woman that doesn't exist on this Earth.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Women and men enter a mosque separately
0:13:59 > 0:14:02and inside, they aren't allowed to share the same space,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05so Naila is listening to the workshop through a curtain.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08The reason for the segregation
0:14:08 > 0:14:12is because it is commanded upon us not to mix freely.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15You don't have to be religious to appreciate
0:14:15 > 0:14:16that you're in a place of worship
0:14:16 > 0:14:19and you don't necessarily want to be distracted
0:14:19 > 0:14:21by the opposite sex, for instance.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26It's an obligation for the man to provide for his wife, her needs.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Because young, traditional Muslims aren't allowed to date,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34they have no first-hand experience of how to behave in relationships.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37For example, she's used to shopping at ASDA,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39you want to shop at Lidl,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42and you say, "OK, let's try Lidl."
0:14:42 > 0:14:44You go to Lidl, she's not content, she says,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"Nah, it was all right, but it wasn't that good."
0:14:47 > 0:14:49And the next week, she says, "Let's go shopping,"
0:14:49 > 0:14:52you ask where you're going, she says, "ASDA," you can't say no.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55You can't say, "We're not going ASDA, we're going Lidl."
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Why? Cos that's what she was used to before she married you.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04When you get married, you are going into partnership with your wife.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12"Someone who is practising, down to earth, good sense of humour
0:15:12 > 0:15:16"and must be pleasing to the eye." I think that's really politely put.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Back at home,
0:15:17 > 0:15:21her best friend and sister are helping Naila check out potential husbands
0:15:21 > 0:15:24suggested by the imam at the mosque.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- "Have to be good looking." - That's not what Islam teaches.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31I think the brothers just want people to know that if you...
0:15:31 > 0:15:33if you've fallen off the ugly tree
0:15:33 > 0:15:36and hit every branch on the way down,
0:15:36 > 0:15:40perhaps this is not the brother to contact.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45"Please describe your ideal match."
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Cut to the chase.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51Naila needs to add her profile to the mosque database.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Somebody who is open-minded, educated,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57and I'd say, "quite laid-back," would you agree?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Humble, somebody who is humble and down to earth.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Because arrogance and someone with a bit of a temper
0:16:09 > 0:16:13would be, like, my idea of an absolute nightmare.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Oh, and also, somebody who just keeps it real.
0:16:22 > 0:16:27I think it's his lifestyle and culture is very different from ours.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31It's been a few days since Dimpy was sent the details of the CV guy.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34She's become friends with him on Facebook
0:16:34 > 0:16:37and she's found out a bit more than she was expecting.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39When I opened his Facebook,
0:16:39 > 0:16:43he's with all these skimpy-dressed women at bars and clubs.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Fine, each to their own,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46but lots of drinking, I mean,
0:16:46 > 0:16:49he's having Bacardis shoved up his mouth while he's got a wine glass.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52My brother was like, "This is not happening."
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Because we're not that, like, liberal.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57It's not about being open-minded,
0:16:57 > 0:17:01it's just about what's acceptable within the boundaries of religion
0:17:01 > 0:17:03and none of that, of that dude,
0:17:03 > 0:17:07is acceptable by any means within the religion.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08You didn't even want me to meet him.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11No, there's no point, there's no point.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13It's up to you, if that's the lifestyle you want.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Actually, this is a test for me
0:17:15 > 0:17:19because up till now I've always wanted someone very open-minded
0:17:19 > 0:17:21so I can breathe.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Now, I'm actually thinking
0:17:23 > 0:17:27this is not the type of lifestyle that I want to lead.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29So, it's really disappointing.
0:17:33 > 0:17:38I speak to loads of girls who are my age and are not married at this point
0:17:38 > 0:17:41and they are all going through the same turmoil
0:17:41 > 0:17:44and I just feel this is never ending.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49I know everyone says, "Why don't you compromise?" and do this and do that,
0:17:49 > 0:17:54but I can't, I won't be happy with myself.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02In this day,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05and especially in this country
0:18:05 > 0:18:08it's difficult to find the right match.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11If somebody could draw a diagram for me that says,
0:18:11 > 0:18:12if you see a nice woman
0:18:12 > 0:18:15and you think she'd be worth talking to about marriage,
0:18:15 > 0:18:18do one, two and three, I would do that in a heartbeat.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23It's becoming a big comedy show, even the students at school
0:18:23 > 0:18:25are like, "When are you going to find a wife, sir?"
0:18:25 > 0:18:27If it's meant to happen, it will happen,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30and if that princess is watching this programme,
0:18:30 > 0:18:33then I'm very annoyed at you that you've been hiding for so long,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35but we can talk about that after.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45As part of his religious duty to find a wife,
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Zubair has signed up for a Muslim marriage event.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50It'll be the first one he's ever attended
0:18:50 > 0:18:53and he has no idea what to expect.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55I really don't want to go in the traditional jubbas,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59the long Arabic cloak because that makes me seem really formal,
0:18:59 > 0:19:01"Please, no jokes, make sure you're serious.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04"Please, don't laugh around me."
0:19:04 > 0:19:06But hopefully with this they know that,
0:19:06 > 0:19:09"Even though he's got a beard,
0:19:09 > 0:19:13"he's very Islamically inclined, he's a chilled-out sort of guy."
0:19:14 > 0:19:18This event is not just the next step but probably the first step for me
0:19:18 > 0:19:22because I've not been involved in the process at all.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Traditional Muslims don't go speed-dating
0:19:30 > 0:19:32but they do go to organised events
0:19:32 > 0:19:35where they can mix with members of the opposite sex.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39The marriage event is taking place at a hotel in Manchester,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43and is mostly attended by professionals in their mid-20s.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46It will be the first time Zubair has ever
0:19:46 > 0:19:49sat down with single Muslim women to talk about the subject of marriage.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52What going through my mind at the moment?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I wonder if she's there?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57I wonder if she's been waiting 23 years of her life,
0:19:57 > 0:19:59for me to come in, not in shining armour, but hey,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01I've got a pair of Skechers on -
0:20:01 > 0:20:03hopefully that'll be good enough for her.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08With 12 women to impress, Zubair wastes no time getting stuck in.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I teach in a madrasah,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I teach kids as well, I gave them a test on Friday
0:20:14 > 0:20:16and I've got to mark them when I get home.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19People get to know each other in groups
0:20:19 > 0:20:23and if anyone takes your fancy, you can then ask for a one-on-one chat.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I'm fun and easy-going when I need to be,
0:20:25 > 0:20:28I'm strict and hardcore when I need to be as well.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29This is me,
0:20:29 > 0:20:33I'd feel very uncomfortable if my wife was not wearing the hijab.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36My only request is simply that the girl be Pakistani,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39because I want to move back to Pakistan and work there.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Some people have put up profiles,
0:20:41 > 0:20:43explain a little bit more about themselves
0:20:43 > 0:20:46if they didn't get a chance to say it in the group meeting.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48and from that I get to decide,
0:20:48 > 0:20:50if I think that this person's an interesting person,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53if I think we're compatible and do I want to know more about her.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56And hopefully someone's doing the same for me.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57I don't think so, but, hey!
0:20:57 > 0:21:02At the event, Zubair appears to be the most traditional male there.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06When you look at him and see the whole beard and everything,
0:21:06 > 0:21:11you probably wouldn't think he was as...
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Yeah, his personality and his looks don't really match.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17But, yeah, when you actually chat to him, he's a really nice guy.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21And yeah, he's really open-minded and he's really chilled out.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24So, it was refreshing to meet someone like that.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Zubair may have made a good impression,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30but he hasn't had much luck.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33I would have been shocked if I got a one-to-one.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Most of the women were much older than me.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Well, not much older, three or four years, 27, 28, 29.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41So, they're already set in their lifestyle,
0:21:41 > 0:21:43they've already got a career going on, etc.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46So, to ask them to change that just because of me,
0:21:46 > 0:21:48and to go to another country
0:21:48 > 0:21:50with a person that they've never met before.
0:21:53 > 0:21:58Finding the perfect match for her daughter is proving tricky business
0:21:58 > 0:22:01and Naila's mum has called in extra help.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05So today, a Muslim matchmaker has come to visit.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- How old is Naila now? - She's 22.
0:22:09 > 0:22:1222! How tall is she? She looks tall to me.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14- Yes, she's five-foot-six. - Five-six, oh, God.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17How far has she got to finish her degree yet?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19There's still two years.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Two years, OK, so start looking now.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Yeah, it takes time, really, you know.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Some people have been registered with me for three years
0:22:26 > 0:22:29but they're so fussy they can't find somebody yet.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33There's always a spark, you know that you're going to love somebody.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37The matchmaker's daughter had an arranged marriage three years ago.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40There is a spark definitely there?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42There definitely is a connection and a spark, you know?
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Otherwise, you wouldn't get married in first place to that person.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50For traditional Muslims,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53even arranging a first meeting can take months.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Would you think Naila would like somebody to be on the same
0:22:56 > 0:23:00sort of job side, an accountant, would you prefer?
0:23:00 > 0:23:04I think it's important that they do understand each other.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07You need to be very relaxed about it as well.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Not take it to heart if there is any rejection from each side.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Yeah, so if you see one person and you're like, "Nah, next person,"
0:23:14 > 0:23:17"Nah, third one, mmm, maybe not."
0:23:17 > 0:23:20"Fourth one, this is the one, this is the one!"
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- then, "Nah" from the other side. - Exactly.
0:23:23 > 0:23:28Thank you so much, auntie, it's always a pleasure to see you.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31'I'm just getting used to it, kind of thing.'
0:23:31 > 0:23:36I've seen all my friends and family going through it
0:23:36 > 0:23:38so you think you know what it's about.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42But you really don't until it knocks on your door
0:23:42 > 0:23:44and the process begins.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- OK, give my love to Mum. - I will.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58And if you need anything... we should get together.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- We need to get together. - Exercise routes.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Absolutely, that would be good.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06No new suitors have come through for Dimpy
0:24:06 > 0:24:08since the CV guy fell through,
0:24:08 > 0:24:11and she's still no closer to finding her ideal man.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16You don't know any Muslim doctors, by any chance?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I don't, actually.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Do you know any Muslim guys anyway, single? Does Rikham?
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- I can ask.- Good girl.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Cos you'd be a catch, right? - You know it.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Why are you even asking?
0:24:31 > 0:24:36Exactly, I know you, but on paper you'd even be, like, a catch.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Yeah, absolutely, just need to get the weight under control.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41I know it's not superficial, but for me.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44But it's not about what they think, you want them to accept you.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47It's how you feel personally. If you feel better.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51But the thing is, looks always count. That is the issue, you know it.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54You know, when I'm thin, I always get more people...
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Cos you're exuding confidence. You're happy with yourself.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01- Very true. - I can psychoanalyse you.
0:25:01 > 0:25:06- See you soon, take care. - Thank you.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I never thought of it actually.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I thought that I used to get more attention,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15not that I don't get attention now from men...
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Was because when I'm fit, I'm hugely fit.
0:25:19 > 0:25:25I'm exuding a lot of confidence. Hm, that's right, actually.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I should have thought about that earlier.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Dimpy's mum has recently been taken ill
0:25:30 > 0:25:33and has been in hospital for the past two weeks.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38So for the first time ever, Dimpy's having to run the family home.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I don't know how to do this.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Especially using a dishwasher.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Mum had to actually tell me how to.. I had the mobile on,
0:25:48 > 0:25:54there were so many dishes and... What is this bus doing?
0:25:54 > 0:25:56And I didn't know what to do and my mum had to tell me,
0:25:56 > 0:26:00"What are you going to do when you get married,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02"you don't know anything."
0:26:02 > 0:26:07Well, I'm sorry, it's actually her fault, she's not taught me anything.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I can't help it.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Everything is a mess on the tables when I come in the morning.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16I have to put everything.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18So, it's good practice for you.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21- For what?- For the future. - For becoming a cleaner?
0:26:21 > 0:26:24No, it's just good practice, you should know how to clean up.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26She's getting a lot of practice, me and my friends,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29I entertain and then she gets a lot of practice serving...
0:26:29 > 0:26:31I hate it. What practice?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I'm sorry, but do you think I'm just going to be serving
0:26:33 > 0:26:35and that's all my life is going to be about?
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Now, at least you know how to.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42See, there's a lot to learn but she's getting there slowly.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44As the lead male in the family,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Dimpy's brother's under increasing pressure to see her married.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52I'm made an extra conscious effort to push her to go to these events.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56I get all these e-mails and forwards and stuff, you know,
0:26:56 > 0:26:59this and that marriage events, Muslim marriage events and whatnot.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- I'm not going.- OK.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Reason why she's probably thinking "I don't want to go",
0:27:03 > 0:27:06like straight away, you heard that, then mum will be like,
0:27:06 > 0:27:08"There's no harm in it."
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Because they're desperate people, lots and lots of freshies
0:27:10 > 0:27:11and desperate people from...
0:27:11 > 0:27:14I completely disagree with that, how can you say they're desperate?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16At the end of the day, everyone,
0:27:16 > 0:27:19if you're actually looking for a life partner, which she is.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Well, not really, you're making me, forcing me to do that.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24We're not forcing you, at the end of the day,
0:27:24 > 0:27:28otherwise you wouldn't be here at 32, 31, whatever.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32The point is, you have to be more open to these events, and she's not.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36At these events you're more likely to find someone
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- and that's why these events are so popular.- No, but seriously,
0:27:39 > 0:27:43if it's somewhere like in East London or something, I'm not going to go.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45But if it was at some, like, good hotel or whatever.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Why? What difference?
0:27:47 > 0:27:50I'm not going to meet the right type of person, I just know it.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Zubair's just leaving another marriage event.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02He's had no luck here or anywhere else
0:28:02 > 0:28:06and it's just two months before he leaves for Pakistan.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09It was a lot bigger venue than the last one I went to
0:28:09 > 0:28:11and still no-one was interested.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13It sort of tells me that I'm doing something wrong.
0:28:21 > 0:28:26Zubair suspects he's standing out at the events for the wrong reasons.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I'm always judged wherever I go.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32How? Just because I've got this thing on my face, I've got a beard.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36Immediately, people start having assumptions. "He's a bearded guy,
0:28:36 > 0:28:41"he's a strict Muslim, he doesn't have any fun at all in life.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44"You know, he doesn't go out much,
0:28:44 > 0:28:46he doesn't socialise much, you know?"
0:28:49 > 0:28:52You know, it's very upsetting
0:28:52 > 0:28:56that people don't know you but they think they do.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01I didn't get any closer to my goal at this particular event,
0:29:01 > 0:29:03but that's not going to stop me,
0:29:03 > 0:29:05I'm going to keep trying. You can never give up.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32After several months of actively searching,
0:29:32 > 0:29:36Naila's mum has finally found a man she wants Naila to meet.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40It's big news for her two best friends.
0:29:41 > 0:29:46What's he like? He's 27 and he's done, like, an IT degree.
0:29:46 > 0:29:47I don't know what he looks like just yet.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50You haven't seen a picture?
0:29:50 > 0:29:52- Um, no.- You have to see a picture.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55It's not like he's just going to turn up on the wedding day,
0:29:55 > 0:29:59I'll see him next weekend. You get a chance to listen to what he's like
0:29:59 > 0:30:02rather than just look at a picture and go, "Urgh!"
0:30:02 > 0:30:07Nearly half of all Muslims in the UK originally come from Pakistan.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10And Naila's introduction is a British Pakistani from London.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13So long as you don't feel under any sort of pressure to push
0:30:13 > 0:30:15yourself to like him.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17And not for yourself, because for your family.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20No pressure and both parties know that when they come in,
0:30:20 > 0:30:24because obviously, you're getting to know the person for the first time.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27- It's quite exciting. - It's really exciting for you, Naila.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Obviously, I'm a little bit anxious to see who is it,
0:30:30 > 0:30:33do you know what I mean, it's a bit like, blind date.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35It is exciting, but we'll have to see.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Oh, my God! This is so good!
0:30:50 > 0:30:52THEY LAUGH
0:30:52 > 0:30:55Today is Dimpy's 32nd birthday.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59Dr Dimpy, that's so lovely!
0:30:59 > 0:31:03Dimpy's been waiting for her perfect husband to come along,
0:31:03 > 0:31:06for 10 years now.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08To tell you the truth,
0:31:08 > 0:31:12I just feel quite old today, actually.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14I feel, gosh, 32 is huge.
0:31:14 > 0:31:19I actually did think I would be married by now, I really did.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22At least once!
0:31:22 > 0:31:25- GIRLS LAUGH - At least once!
0:31:28 > 0:31:33Most Muslims get married before they're 25.
0:31:33 > 0:31:3630 onwards is risky business.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40If there's an unmarried woman and she's in her late 30s,
0:31:40 > 0:31:43they're going to start asking questions.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45My clientele who are women in their 30s or 40s,
0:31:45 > 0:31:48I just can't find a spouse for them.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56Obviously Asian timing, people are late...
0:31:56 > 0:32:01Hopefully, it'll be a big turnout, we've got five already.
0:32:01 > 0:32:05To try and find the right kind of man before it really is too late,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08Dimpy is taking matters into her own hands.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10This is funny!
0:32:10 > 0:32:14She's the Social Secretary of the British Asian Medical Association,
0:32:14 > 0:32:18so she's organised an event where doctors should be guaranteed.
0:32:18 > 0:32:23- You are?- I'm Sanjeda.- Hi, Sanjeda, thank you so much for coming!
0:32:23 > 0:32:26'It's a professional network so everyone can meet up'
0:32:26 > 0:32:28in the professional setting
0:32:28 > 0:32:32and if they like each other they can get together.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43I think I saw you at the train station!
0:32:43 > 0:32:46I actually said, "It's a doctor, shall we follow?"
0:32:46 > 0:32:47It's filling up fast,
0:32:47 > 0:32:51but they're all females and I need some more men.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53I've invited a lot of men.
0:32:53 > 0:32:58This can't be just a female-only event - it's just too wrong!
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Thank you very much for coming!
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Dimpy's friends would love the right man to be here for Dimpy
0:33:04 > 0:33:09as even they are running out of options for her.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13I'm trying hard to find her someone. Haven't done too well, so for.
0:33:13 > 0:33:14Please come through.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17I haven't found the perfect person for her yet.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19I'm still looking, although at the moment,
0:33:19 > 0:33:22I feel the people I've thought of aren't good enough.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Where are all the men?
0:33:29 > 0:33:33There are all girls. There are only three men here.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38This is like, I don't understand what's going on.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41Please, welcome, please come through.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43Hello.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47I'm sorry, there were 30 people expected,
0:33:47 > 0:33:50but there's half right now.
0:33:50 > 0:33:55It looks full. Thank you all very much for coming.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Enjoy your meals
0:33:57 > 0:34:00and look forward to many more evenings with lots more people,
0:34:00 > 0:34:03so get the word out, please, and thank you.
0:34:10 > 0:34:15There were only about four guys that came to the whole event.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Total turnout was about 25 people.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20I'm so unlucky in love.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24There's no-one here. I think I'm so unlucky.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42Yes, it is, it's Naila.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45- MAN ON PHONE:- 'When people go on their first date,
0:34:45 > 0:34:48'everybody has this nervous panic, especially if it's a blind date.'
0:34:48 > 0:34:52With her introduction only days away,
0:34:52 > 0:34:55Naila's contacted a Muslim councillor called Marmoon.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57He runs a course called Marry Mr Right,
0:34:57 > 0:35:00and gives advice over the phone to young Muslims
0:35:00 > 0:35:01preparing for marriage.
0:35:01 > 0:35:07I feel like I'm constantly trying to make everything OK for everyone.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11I think that comes from being the eldest sister, obviously.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15Naila doesn't have to say "yes" to anyone she's not totally sure about
0:35:15 > 0:35:18but it might not be easy to say "no".
0:35:18 > 0:35:23I think it's the pressure of going into the meeting
0:35:23 > 0:35:29and feeling like you won't like that person.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32You will then find yourself in a situation
0:35:32 > 0:35:35where you're going to have to pluck up the courage
0:35:35 > 0:35:42to say "no" and it's dealing with that.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57'You have literally nothing to worry about.'
0:35:57 > 0:35:58My mum's sitting here going,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01"That's it, put everything on Mum's shoulders."
0:36:10 > 0:36:13'May Allah make it really easy for you
0:36:13 > 0:36:17'and get you married to the ideal person for you.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19'As soon as you're ready.'
0:36:19 > 0:36:20As-Salamu Alaykum.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24The reality of having to meet a potential husband face-to-face,
0:36:24 > 0:36:26is beginning to sink in.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30It highlighted that I'm in a much better position
0:36:30 > 0:36:35than anybody going out there and meeting somebody one-to-one.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39I don't have the pressures of, "What do I do if he's an ogre?"
0:36:39 > 0:36:42You get the answer from inside you,
0:36:42 > 0:36:46then it is more effective, rather than anybody else telling you.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50It's a bit silly to think that you won't have to reject somebody.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52At some point, you'll have to do that.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04There's nothing wrong with preferring doctors, that's fine,
0:37:04 > 0:37:05if you have a preference.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08But, it should still mean that you're open to meeting people
0:37:08 > 0:37:10from other vocations, other backgrounds.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Today, Dimpy's talking to her cousin and aunt
0:37:13 > 0:37:16about her search for a man, but they're running out of patience.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19If you're not keen on working after you're married,
0:37:19 > 0:37:22what difference does it make whether he was a doctor or not?
0:37:22 > 0:37:26- I don't know.- You're not keen on working after you married?
0:37:27 > 0:37:32- I don't want to.- Why are you so obsessed with marrying a doctor?
0:37:32 > 0:37:35Because then he can do what I was potentially meant to do.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Why not an investment banker or something?
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Are there any investment bankers around?
0:37:39 > 0:37:42So, we're now dropping this entire principle
0:37:42 > 0:37:44that we've held on for 10 years to find a doctor?
0:37:44 > 0:37:47I'd prefer a doctor, because my papa said he'd prefer a doctor.
0:37:47 > 0:37:52You should broaden your search to go beyond just one profession.
0:37:52 > 0:37:56Otherwise this could go on for ever. You've passed your sell-by date now.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02Whatever we can get for you on eBay, Amazon, we'll take.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05You know that's not going to happen.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08Papa was very picky as well, was he not?
0:38:08 > 0:38:11You've set your goals according to your father.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14I want you to move on in life,
0:38:14 > 0:38:17I want you to realise that Papa has gone
0:38:17 > 0:38:22and you want to have somebody who's considerate, educated,
0:38:22 > 0:38:26who can support you and who's understanding and loving
0:38:26 > 0:38:29- and that's it. - But Papa won't be happy.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Papa will be happy that once you're settled,
0:38:31 > 0:38:34he'll be happy if you're happy.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36You're right, no, you're right.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38If you agree, you have to...
0:38:38 > 0:38:41That's the thing, it's going to take me time.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44It's a mindset that I've grown up with,
0:38:44 > 0:38:47this is what Papa said, bang, bang, bang
0:38:47 > 0:38:49and this is what I'm going to follow.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53But you can't live in your papa's shadow any more.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56You have to move on.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Parents are never there for ever,
0:38:58 > 0:39:00they have to go and you have to move on.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02I will do that.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05It's very hard, but I can try.
0:39:12 > 0:39:18This criteria that I have is just a sham.
0:39:18 > 0:39:22It's not really what you need to look for, for a husband.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30I guess I'm a bit scared to allow myself to like someone.
0:39:32 > 0:39:37I'm just really scared that my father won't be happy.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43I've got to rethink what my father would've wanted for me.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53Since my dad's gone, I really miss him now,
0:39:53 > 0:39:55now that I've spoken to my aunt.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56I really miss him.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04I feel like visiting him now.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07I feel I need to see him.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00- They just left the house.- Oh.
0:41:00 > 0:41:04After three months of endless phone calls,
0:41:04 > 0:41:07today is Naila's first official introduction
0:41:07 > 0:41:09since her mum started looking.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13The guy she's meeting is five years older than her and he works in IT.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33- What does she have to do? - Do I have to tell you everything?
0:41:33 > 0:41:35I heard something.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40I don't know, I don't know how I'm feeling.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43I'm kind of excited to see what they're all about,
0:41:43 > 0:41:45but at the same time, I just feel...
0:41:48 > 0:41:53I feel that there's a need to be very realistic and go into it.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57I don't want to be all dreamy and feel like the prince has come!
0:41:57 > 0:41:58It's not like that at all.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02All his family are coming over for lunch,
0:42:02 > 0:42:05and they're preparing kebabs and biryani.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07I think they'll have their Sunday shoes on
0:42:07 > 0:42:11because you don't want to offend anybody.
0:42:11 > 0:42:18At the same time, Mum refuses to go all out,
0:42:18 > 0:42:24just because it's kind of putting on a show.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35Traditional introductions between Muslim families at home
0:42:35 > 0:42:39are very private, so the meeting takes place behind closed doors.
0:42:46 > 0:42:50What's you overall view of it?
0:42:50 > 0:42:52Three hours later, the meeting is over
0:42:52 > 0:42:55and Naila must decide if she wants to take things to the next stage.
0:42:55 > 0:42:59He was all right. He had a beard.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01He was like, ching-ching...
0:43:01 > 0:43:03Um...and...yeah.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08I'd say he's worthy of my sister.
0:43:08 > 0:43:09He's good enough for my sister.
0:43:09 > 0:43:14It just took one meeting for you to just say...
0:43:14 > 0:43:19Obviously, there's more meetings but right now, he's OK.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21He didn't speak very much
0:43:21 > 0:43:27but you could see that he certainly had some wit.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31I don't know what he thought of me. I was very quiet.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34At least somebody thinks I'm quiet.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37Obviously, after having the meeting and stuff,
0:43:37 > 0:43:41I think they'll gather, not in a bad way,
0:43:41 > 0:43:45but they'll gather what you're... not really like,
0:43:45 > 0:43:48but what your personality is and what kind of person you are.
0:43:48 > 0:43:55He was lovely and I would happily get to know them as family friends.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59It's kind of now figuring out
0:43:59 > 0:44:02whether I find myself fitting into that family.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05We'll have some more meetings
0:44:05 > 0:44:08and then maybe we can say "yes" or "no".
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Not at this point.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14I wish I knew how I felt, but I don't.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19I think you're supposed to know, but I really don't.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21We'll have to wait and see.
0:44:26 > 0:44:30It's only two weeks until Zubair moves to Pakistan.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34But finally, after months of searching for a wife,
0:44:34 > 0:44:36he's had some good news.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40A girl from the marriage service has requested a meeting.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43This is the moment Zubair's been praying for.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46This is the first time I've spoken face-to-face
0:44:46 > 0:44:51with a women about marriage and it's peculiar, very peculiar.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53I've never done it before.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55Butterflies in the stomach, is that what they call it?
0:45:11 > 0:45:14My name is Zubair, nice to meet you, sir.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Nice to meet you.
0:45:17 > 0:45:22While Hasana waits in the corner, Zubair has to chat to her dad first.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25So, what would you like to know about me?
0:45:25 > 0:45:28It would be good if you introduced yourself
0:45:28 > 0:45:31and tell us a little bit about yourself.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33OK.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36I was born and raised in this country for 14 years.
0:45:36 > 0:45:37I used to live in Leicester.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40I moved to Pakistan when I was about 14 years old.
0:45:40 > 0:45:44- Parents?- My parents are still in Lahore, sir.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46Shall we get started?
0:45:46 > 0:45:48I don't know.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50OK, then. Um..
0:45:56 > 0:45:58As-Salamu Alaykum.
0:45:58 > 0:46:01Sorry, I didn't see you there. I was looking, where is she?
0:46:01 > 0:46:03That's OK.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05- How are you? - I'm fine, thank you very much.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08- Yourself?- Hamdulillah, I'm well.
0:46:08 > 0:46:14I'm Hasana, I'm 23. I work as an English teacher in south London.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16I just graduated.
0:46:16 > 0:46:18It may be Zubair's first time,
0:46:18 > 0:46:20but Hasana has been looking for the last 18 months,
0:46:20 > 0:46:24and she's had 20 meetings like this one already.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26I like to keep myself busy.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28- I like that too. - That's good.
0:46:28 > 0:46:32You mentioned you stay in Manchester.
0:46:32 > 0:46:33Yes, I live in Manchester.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I live in the corner of Rusholme and Moss Side,
0:46:36 > 0:46:39so if I want to relate to another Muslim, I'm, in Rusholme,
0:46:39 > 0:46:43if I want to scare a white guy, I'm in Moss Side. It works all the time.
0:46:43 > 0:46:48I don't know if you've any questions for me.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54She said, hoping, hoping for some amusing questions.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56What do you prefer in a guy, as well?
0:46:56 > 0:47:02Somebody who's quite calm in terms of their personality.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Shall I go now?
0:47:05 > 0:47:09That's the kind of person that I'm looking for.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13All right, Pakistani origin?
0:47:13 > 0:47:16- No, Indian. - Have you ever been back home?
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I've been once, when I was 16.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23- I went to Pakistan once as well, actually.- Oh, they let you in?
0:47:25 > 0:47:30Hoping to remain in the UK or are you looking to go back?
0:47:30 > 0:47:33I would like eventually to go to Pakistan, yes.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36I do want to work in Pakistan.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39What would you think about working in a different country?
0:47:39 > 0:47:43The idea of doing charity work in itself, that's not an issue,
0:47:43 > 0:47:45that's something that I would want to do.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49It's just the idea of doing it in another country.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52That would be a bit daunting.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55I think I'm done with my questions, for now.
0:47:55 > 0:47:59Jazakallah khair.
0:47:59 > 0:48:03I guess we'll part ways and see where this takes us.
0:48:03 > 0:48:04Thank you very much for your time.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10Thank you very much for letting me speak with your daughter.
0:48:10 > 0:48:13Thank you very much.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17How do you open this door? There we go.
0:48:26 > 0:48:31I think I'm going to call my parents and tell them I've met a girl
0:48:31 > 0:48:33and I liked her.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36I think the initial meetings are always very nerve-racking.
0:48:36 > 0:48:42He came across quite confident, which is quite different.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47Five, seven-ish.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51I hope I was handsome enough for her as she was pretty enough for me.
0:48:51 > 0:48:55That's a stupid way to put it. She looked very beautiful.
0:48:55 > 0:48:56She was very beautiful.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59She asked if I wanted to go back to Pakistan.
0:48:59 > 0:49:00I basically said, "Yes."
0:49:00 > 0:49:04She said, "I'm not sure if I want to leave my family."
0:49:04 > 0:49:07I'll be considering all of the things that he said,
0:49:07 > 0:49:09scrutinising them, if you will.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Then make a decision based on that.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Generally, in these circumstances,
0:49:14 > 0:49:16it would be the girl that would dictate
0:49:16 > 0:49:19whether she'd want another meeting or not.
0:49:19 > 0:49:24It's definitely putting us girls in the driver's seat.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26From the first meeting,
0:49:26 > 0:49:29although you can't tell a lot, I liked her very much.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31It would be nice to see her again.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34I would like that, I would like that.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Let's see, how am I going to do this?
0:49:41 > 0:49:45It's been three weeks since Dimpy's chat with her aunt and cousin,
0:49:45 > 0:49:49and today, she's getting ready for the biggest trip of her life.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52She's going on a pilgrimage to Mecca.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56It's a chance to work out what she really wants.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59I'm going for the Hajj.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01It's a mandatory pilgrimage
0:50:01 > 0:50:04that every Muslim has to make once in their lifetime.
0:50:04 > 0:50:09I'm doing this because I do everything else
0:50:09 > 0:50:12and I need that spiritual fix.
0:50:14 > 0:50:18I just want to forget about marriage proposals, the fact that I'm 32.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22I just want to chill.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25I need this "me" time and I think this will be my "me" time.
0:50:25 > 0:50:31I don't know if I've done it right but it's done. I think I look OK.
0:50:31 > 0:50:35I think I've done quite well, actually. Very impressed with myself.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41I just need to sort it out in my head to see what I really want.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45Do I really want to get married in the first place?
0:50:45 > 0:50:48That's another thing. Do I really want to get married? I don't know.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Zubair is leaving for Pakistan tonight
0:51:00 > 0:51:02and time's almost run out for Hasana
0:51:02 > 0:51:05to decide if Zubair's right for her, or not.
0:51:09 > 0:51:10As-Salamu Alaykum.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14Yes?
0:51:14 > 0:51:18Mizan, from the marriage service, has the answer.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22Masha Allah.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25No, we did click very well
0:51:25 > 0:51:28but because she's got her own thing going on here,
0:51:28 > 0:51:33she obviously doesn't want to leave the UK.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37Hasana doesn't want to see Zubair again if he is moving to Pakistan.
0:51:37 > 0:51:41Me going to Pakistan is a dream that's never going to change.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44I'm literally packing my bag now, I'm leaving today.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47I don't know how much more flexible I can be.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50That's my dream and I'm not giving up on it.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56Take care, sir.
0:51:57 > 0:52:03The UK search, I believe, is over for me.
0:52:03 > 0:52:08I might as well go back to Pakistan. Finding a partner is never easy.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13It's a difficult search. My criteria is even harder.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17Success was never in my hands anyway.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20If you're a Muslim, if you believe in God, you believe that.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23You believe you try and God rewards the effort.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29So, Zubair is heading to Pakistan
0:52:29 > 0:52:31with the hope that his search for a wife
0:52:31 > 0:52:33will be more successful over there.
0:52:37 > 0:52:41I know it's going to be hard but then I'll remind myself,
0:52:41 > 0:52:44nothing in life is supposed to be easy.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Nothing worth doing is easy.
0:52:49 > 0:52:51So get back up and keep fighting.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Since her introduction with the potential husband,
0:52:58 > 0:53:01Naila's been thinking long and hard
0:53:01 > 0:53:03about whether to take things to the next stage
0:53:03 > 0:53:05and meet him again.
0:53:05 > 0:53:11After you've been introduced to somebody, you have to pray.
0:53:11 > 0:53:17It's literally you asking Allah, asking God to guide you.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19If something is good for you, let it happen.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23If it isn't, move away from it and replace it with something better.
0:53:25 > 0:53:31After having done that and praying to God...
0:53:31 > 0:53:37really giving it some thought, I decided that it wasn't the one,
0:53:37 > 0:53:42that wasn't the family that was going to be the one.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45I think we've had different upbringings
0:53:45 > 0:53:49and obviously I've been born and raised here
0:53:49 > 0:53:52and he's been raised in Pakistan.
0:53:52 > 0:53:56We wouldn't be on the same level in terms of how we connect,
0:53:56 > 0:54:00so I think in that sense, it didn't quite feel right.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02But luckily for Naila,
0:54:02 > 0:54:05there are more possible matches on the horizon.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07There's a Muslim forum online,
0:54:07 > 0:54:11where my mum's seen some profiles that a sister has put up
0:54:11 > 0:54:15regarding some practising brothers who're looking to settle down.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21I think there's three profiles on there that she quite likes.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24Hopefully, it won't be too many different families,
0:54:24 > 0:54:28hopefully it won't get to that, but, you know...
0:54:28 > 0:54:32Six months, a year down the line.
0:54:32 > 0:54:36Looking forward to finding somebody to settle down with.
0:54:36 > 0:54:42We say, you know, peace and tranquillity, to create that environment within your home.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44There's nothing more beautiful than that.
0:54:54 > 0:54:59Dimpy's back from Mecca and it was an emotional trip.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07I was crying like a baby, I was screaming
0:55:07 > 0:55:10and I didn't care whoever was looking,
0:55:10 > 0:55:13because I was talking to my Allah.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15I feel so much better after that.
0:55:17 > 0:55:22Three and a half years of emotions stuck were all released.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26It was superb and that's why I'm at peace with myself.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40Finally, she's putting the past behind her.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43You know, when I find the right person, it'll just happen.
0:55:43 > 0:55:47He'll probably end up being the ugliest,
0:55:47 > 0:55:50non-doctor there is around.
0:55:50 > 0:55:56For the first time in 10 years, she's ready to compromise.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00If someone comes my way, then, hey!
0:56:00 > 0:56:04That's going to be the most amazing thing ever, if he comes my way.
0:56:05 > 0:56:08And I will embrace him.
0:56:45 > 0:56:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd