0:00:02 > 0:00:05Just giving you a quick call in relation to helping lower the cost of your energy bills
0:00:05 > 0:00:10- by finding the right tariff available to you. Are you the bill payer?- I certainly am.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Nev Wilshire is CEO of Swansea's third-largest call centre.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Get out, get out!
0:00:16 > 0:00:20What sums up my management style? Some say I'm barking orders,
0:00:20 > 0:00:22some say I'm barking mad.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24WOOF! Oh, sorry.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26But there's life in the old dog yet.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Not again. Not again.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36It's an industry that now employs over a million people
0:00:36 > 0:00:39in the UK with an average age of just 26.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41'Oh, piss off!'
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Call centres are the factories of our time.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Get these deals, make these calls, that's what I'm talking about.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I think I just dialled your missus by mistake.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52But times have been tough.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57A few years ago, the Queen had an annus horribilis, a horrible year.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00We've had an annus anus.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02It's been tough.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Go on.- Don't yawn!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07More than ever, Nev's relied on his unique approach to
0:01:07 > 0:01:10motivating his young workforce.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Oh, Jonny!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Now he's fighting back.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16See? That's what you got to beat.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19And we're making money again now, yeah, go to it, then.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21With his loyal troops right behind him.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Our main challenge in HR is, erm...
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Hey, Geoff, you're looking good.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32I was going to say Nev then, don't say that.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Morale is on the up...
0:01:35 > 0:01:36CHEERING
0:01:36 > 0:01:39..for this Swansea call centre.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Where victory is only a cold call away.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Are you not entertained?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48What's it like to be in charge of 600 people?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50It's an endurance, sometimes it's a marathon,
0:01:50 > 0:01:53sometimes you have to sprint to keep up.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56But I love it, absolutely love it.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Welcome to Nev's world.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Is your social worker available with you now?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22DOG BARKS
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Think I just dialled your missus by mistake, Cutters.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40For call centre CEO Nev Wilshire, the key to running a
0:02:40 > 0:02:45multi-million pound business is motivating the shop floor.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Even if it means doing it yourself.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Watch this now.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54You don't want a ladder, do you? You're tall enough.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I'm all over this like a rash.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Where do you screw?
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- No, no. - Hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- Hold the screw, man, otherwise it's going to...- I've got it.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12All right, if you do any damage to this it's your fault,
0:03:12 > 0:03:14not mine, come on.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Go and teach your grandmother to suck eggs, right.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22You reckon I can't, I, I can do this one-handed, right.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- Oh, you spawny...- One-handed.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26CHUCKLING
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Believe it or not, I pay Kelvin to do this.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Money for old rope.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36The idea of the signs is they watch Kelvin putting them up
0:03:36 > 0:03:39and they all have a good laugh and it inspires the sales floor.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45"It is a fact of life, happy people sell."
0:03:48 > 0:03:50But Nev's inspirational signs are not
0:03:50 > 0:03:53working their magic on sales veteran Griff.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- Cutters, I sit here all day, right? - Right?
0:03:58 > 0:04:03And all I can see in my peripheral vision is the word "losers".
0:04:03 > 0:04:08Why is the word "losers" on that twice as big as the word "winners"?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13I sit here and all I can see is losers.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Supposed to be standing there, going like that
0:04:16 > 0:04:18or is that just a little bit of truth?
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Fair enough, we are losers. Look at us, sitting in here doing this.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26You know, people spend so much time looking at the bullshit
0:04:26 > 0:04:31in this place that they just don't look at the basic things.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I don't need reminding I'm a loser when I work in telesales,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I don't need reminding.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40To help Nev keep sales staff like Griff in line, all calls
0:04:40 > 0:04:44are closely monitored by quality agents like 23-year-old Deon.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- And what's your first name, Mrs Flynn?- Jacqueline.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Oh, it's not Brian is it, no? Like the footballer?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53No, it's not Brian, it's...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- OK, you don't sound like a Brian! - No.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58OK, then. Bit of fun.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02If you see a company as a body, the quality department is the liver,
0:05:02 > 0:05:08so it cleans and makes sure that the shit, erm, is filtered out.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10You need that filter in place
0:05:10 > 0:05:13and unfortunately that filter may not be liked, so the quality department
0:05:13 > 0:05:17may be hated by everyone, but it's a necessity.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20It will save a bit of money on your bills as well, bonny pet, you know.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- Well, that's good.- Yeah.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Well, it'll cover the costs of your Christmas
0:05:24 > 0:05:27and birthday presents for me now, won't it?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29LAUGHTER
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Overall, definitely one of the better calls I've heard from Griff, definitely.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Sometimes he has a tendency to go off the rails a bit or, or take
0:05:37 > 0:05:41the call in a different direction. Just needs to sometimes control that
0:05:41 > 0:05:46to make sure he's not undermining or taking the Mick out of the customer.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49They're like critics, they never created anything themselves,
0:05:49 > 0:05:53they go around criticising everybody else's efforts.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Wankers, really.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57CHANTING: Deon, Deon, Deon...
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Despite working for the company's most hated branch,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Deon has found a way to keep the sales agents sweet.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Red velvet cupcakes, mate, home-made.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Ah, thanks, Deon, much appreciated.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- You made it yourself, dude? - Yep, all home-made.- Your mum made it?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- No, me, my mother can't cook. - Good effort.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34I have a, a skill of some sorts, erm, I bake, erm, I bake quite a bit,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I started a couple of years ago, just self taught.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42I'm watching my figure, don't get a BLEEP body like this eating BLEEP cakes.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43- You look great.- Nice one, Deon.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Obviously, in the company, the quality department are not
0:06:46 > 0:06:49the most popular and well-liked department, erm,
0:06:49 > 0:06:53but with Deon, he's a good fella, you know, he's a good lad, does a good job,
0:06:53 > 0:06:57er, I get on with him well and I like the lad a lot, he's a good boy.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I'd like to think that they like me more because I'm not
0:07:00 > 0:07:04an arsehole rather than I bake cakes for them, but whatever works.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08I'm on a diet, man, why do you do this to me when I'm on a diet?!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- What have you done to it? - I haven't done anything to it.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Thank you. - I think it's a good motivational technique for his team, er,
0:07:14 > 0:07:16don't know if he's got any underlying
0:07:16 > 0:07:18reasons for making these cakes, I think he could have a
0:07:18 > 0:07:21crush on somebody on the academy by the looks of things so, erm,
0:07:21 > 0:07:25I'll have to monitor that quite carefully I suppose, but keep making
0:07:25 > 0:07:28cakes, er, keep bringing them in and I'll enjoy some of them as well.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Dwayne's suspicions are well founded.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Hello, is that Mrs Moore?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38No, Mrs Moore doesn't live here, she hasn't lived here for seven years.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43- Oh, I'm sorry about that. - Deon's charm has worked on 21-year-old rookie Kelly.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47I've got, erm, a date with one of the girls off the, er,
0:07:47 > 0:07:49one of the academy teams.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51SHE SIGHS
0:07:51 > 0:07:52People are so BLEEP miserable.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56So we'll, er, we'll see how that goes, her name's Kelly,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58hopefully it goes well, we'll see.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00She's a lovely girl, very attractive,
0:08:00 > 0:08:05fantastic personality, so I just hope that, er, hope it goes well.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10Hiya, it's Kelly calling from Nationwide Energy Services,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12just a quick call today, love, about the...
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh, my God, what the BLEEP is wrong?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Deon's just a really nice boy, he's really genuine
0:08:18 > 0:08:21and he's quite nice to see, like, I've never really seen that in
0:08:21 > 0:08:24many people before and he's really nice and just get along
0:08:24 > 0:08:27with him really easily, he's quite easy to talk to and he's just nice.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33With sales and quality putting their differences
0:08:33 > 0:08:37aside for the evening, it's a brave new world for Deon.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39It's always hard to know what people think of you or
0:08:39 > 0:08:44if they like you or if they can even be bothered to talk to you, so the
0:08:44 > 0:08:48fact that there's actually someone who likes me more than friends
0:08:48 > 0:08:52as well, hopefully, hopefully, er, it's, it's kind of, it's refreshing,
0:08:52 > 0:08:56it kind of makes me think, "Oh, maybe we're not seen as that bad?"
0:08:56 > 0:08:58It is good that Deon's found love in the call centre,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I mean somebody from quality finding love...
0:09:02 > 0:09:04..I mean that, that's got to be a first.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12With his maverick management style, Nev's always seeking ways to
0:09:12 > 0:09:14improve the work place.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18This time, he's inviting his 600 staff to pitch in.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Hello.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25OK...erm, we're looking for suggestions for improving
0:09:25 > 0:09:29the company, if you would rather strawberries than bananas...
0:09:29 > 0:09:31put it down.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36Any suggestions how you would like to improve the company, all right?
0:09:36 > 0:09:37You'll see things that I don't,
0:09:37 > 0:09:41all right? So there'll be a panel of four
0:09:41 > 0:09:46people, erm, it'll be myself and Ben and Mia and Abbie from HR.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50So anything, however stupid you might think it is, all right?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Thank you very much. Have a lovely day.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56APPLAUSE Bless you. Bugger off back to work.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Everybody's got ideas. I haven't got a monopoly on ideas
0:09:59 > 0:10:03in the place and you'll find a lot of people have been sitting on
0:10:03 > 0:10:07ideas to improve the company for a long time and so now is a good time
0:10:07 > 0:10:12to try and extract those ideas and erm, put some of them into practice.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Some of them will be good, some of them will be just brain farts
0:10:16 > 0:10:21and once you start bouncing ideas off people and they start to expand
0:10:21 > 0:10:27their idea, then, once it catches light, then anything can happen.
0:10:36 > 0:10:41I was thinking, this company needs some kind of toilet patrol.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Too many times I've been to the toilet to do a number two
0:10:44 > 0:10:47and I don't want my trousers to touch the floor.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51I reckon we should have milkshakes, a milkshake on the trolley
0:10:51 > 0:10:53and cakes on the trolley.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Something to do with like getting change,
0:10:56 > 0:11:00change machine, cos everyone's always bugging about change.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Oh, that's a good idea.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Nev's son Phil, the call centre's commercial director,
0:11:05 > 0:11:08has got his mind on the bottom line.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Basically, I'm pitching the idea of better bog roll.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15I'll show you the problem.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19So, if you come in here, look, this is,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21this is what we've got to deal with.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23It only comes out one at a time and you've got to,
0:11:23 > 0:11:27you've got to deal with that, one at a time that's all you get.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35See, look there, gone.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38And it's rough as hell, it's like sandpaper, this.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41With physical comfort top of the list,
0:11:41 > 0:11:45tea lady Hayley has a very hands-on idea of her own.
0:11:45 > 0:11:51Right, people are sitting down all day on their arse, backs aching,
0:11:51 > 0:11:55you might not be sitting upright, their postures might not be right,
0:11:55 > 0:11:58might feel a little bit tense, a little bit stiff,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02might be stressed out cos they're not selling
0:12:02 > 0:12:04and when I come round and
0:12:04 > 0:12:08give them a cuppa, I'll give them a massage as well, only like a little
0:12:08 > 0:12:12five-minute one, but everyone feels happier when you have a massage.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Like, if I knew where your knots were.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20See what I mean? I don't know how to do it properly but if I got told how
0:12:20 > 0:12:24to do it properly and got told where the knots was, it does relax people.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Now, obviously, with this...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I got to make sure we don't make people tired though.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Life insurance...
0:12:35 > 0:12:38For Hayley, who's been at the call centre for six years, it's a chance
0:12:38 > 0:12:43not only to improve the company, but also her own career prospects.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I just can't do it on you cos you're quite skinny, do you get me?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Like I...you haven't got much meat.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I want to do this for me cos like, you know, it's good for me
0:12:52 > 0:12:54and my future maybe, you never know,
0:12:54 > 0:12:57it's good to have something else than just be a tea lady.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00If I'm a qualified masseuse as well, when people ask what my,
0:13:00 > 0:13:04what my occupation is I don't have to get all ashamed
0:13:04 > 0:13:08and write "tea lady". I can write "a masseuse" if I wanted to as well.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10OK, come with me, then.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12THEY CHUCKLE
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Everyone loves a massage, it'll give them an incentive,
0:13:15 > 0:13:19if their team leader says, "Right, the next person to get three deals
0:13:19 > 0:13:22"can get a massage off Hayley," but obviously I'll gain
0:13:22 > 0:13:26out of it cos I'll get experience as a masseuse and maybe...
0:13:26 > 0:13:29get certain people I'd like to do more than others
0:13:29 > 0:13:31and I'll gain that way as well!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Just saying, just saying.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Always first in line to revamp corporate life,
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Griff's spotted an unlikely opportunity.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Well, quality department are looking for some new compliance agents.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Cutters?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Oh, shit!
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Can you explain this sentence to me?
0:14:03 > 0:14:07"The quality department are looking for one compliance/quality agent
0:14:07 > 0:14:09"to ensure that sales calls are in compliance with
0:14:09 > 0:14:12"the rules and regulations of SPM." Right?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13- Yeah?- Fair enough.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17"Unsuccessful applicants for the compliance officer vacancy
0:14:17 > 0:14:19"would also be considered for suitability."
0:14:19 > 0:14:22That, that doesn't actually make any sense.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25They're looking for...people to make sure that everyone's
0:14:25 > 0:14:28doing everything properly, now they're advertising
0:14:28 > 0:14:32for somebody to do everything properly and their advert...
0:14:32 > 0:14:34is BLEEP.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36OK, so do you want to go work for them?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Erm, I want to find out what they're doing over there
0:14:38 > 0:14:42and who's in charge and why they can't produce a poster to see
0:14:42 > 0:14:44if it's worth me going over there.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47What I suggest you do is have a word with Ricky and see
0:14:47 > 0:14:48if that's the job for you.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- That's a good idea.- How's that?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Yeah, thanks. Cheers, mate, good idea.- Good man.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Let's put it like that and see if any BLEEP notices.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01All right.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Is that straight? - Yeah, that's lovely, mate.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Right, I'm not entirely sure where this department is, mind.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Griff's decided to probe,
0:15:17 > 0:15:21he's venturing in to the mystical land of HR.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- Hiya.- Hello.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- I've, erm, come for an application form, please.- An application form.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34We can get that from quality for you.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Yeah, can you go and grab one? - Yeah, OK.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Thanks.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43KEYBOARD CLACKING
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Cor, it's all go in here, innit?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51SHE LAUGHS
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It'll be five minutes, he's going to e-mail me now.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Just preparing one, are they?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Any jobs going in this department?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- No.- No?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03What do you do in here then, just writing and stuff, is it?
0:16:03 > 0:16:04More pen based?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12What? Have you got to tick all those pieces of paper?
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Be quiet now.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18They'll take the whole flipping day.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Well, that's the five minutes up.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24This is part of the reason I want to go for the job you know,
0:16:24 > 0:16:26just try and get things a bit more organised.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28SHE LAUGHS
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Sometime later, quality delivers the goods.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Yeah, I got the form.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41It's on a large piece of paper for some reason,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43not quite sure what that's all about.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46We'll trim that down now.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Now that was just to go and get an application form.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53You know, that's the, that's how much palaver it takes just to
0:16:53 > 0:16:55walk from one room to the next to say,
0:16:55 > 0:16:59"I'm interested in working in your department, what's it all about?"
0:16:59 > 0:17:03I've been in there 15 minutes to get a copy of an incorrect poster
0:17:03 > 0:17:06which they've just basically shrunk it down
0:17:06 > 0:17:09so it doesn't fit on the size of paper they give me,
0:17:09 > 0:17:11so what I've got is what I had on the wall -
0:17:11 > 0:17:13which was wrong then and it's wrong now.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29CUSTOMER ON PHONE
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Hello, is that Mrs Mordan?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34The night of Deon and Kelly's date has arrived
0:17:34 > 0:17:37and Deon's got all bases covered.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39HE CHUCKLES
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Prepared for everything.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Typical quality agent.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44HE COUGHS
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Erm, well, erm...
0:17:49 > 0:17:50T-shirt...
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Shirt...
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Jeans and the aftershave as well,
0:17:56 > 0:18:00it's got to be a, a bit of Paco Rabanne 1 Million.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Other aftershaves are available, of course.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Erm, yeah, so... hopefully that'll
0:18:05 > 0:18:09impress her and if it doesn't I'm, er, going to be quite disappointed.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11HE LAUGHS
0:18:11 > 0:18:13HE CLEARS THROAT
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Hello, is that Miss Rag?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Oh, right. OK, thank you.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Hello there, is that Mrs Rag?
0:18:24 > 0:18:29Hiya, it's Kelly calling from Nationwide Energy Services,
0:18:29 > 0:18:31just a quick courtesy call to...
0:18:35 > 0:18:40I'm incredibly nervous about tonight, I can talk in front of
0:18:40 > 0:18:45groups of people about their quality and I can give difficult people
0:18:45 > 0:18:50feedback, but any time an emotion's involved I go to pot,
0:18:50 > 0:18:55I'm terrible. I, I, I'm like, all I keep thinking is,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59"Will I be saying the right things? What's she thinking?"
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Yeah, I'm extremely nervous.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Oh, I'm so going to get the Mick taken out of me for this.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12It's like when you're with her, the world's in high definition
0:19:12 > 0:19:15and like when you're not with her, it's just black and white.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17That's the easiest way to describe it without being overly
0:19:17 > 0:19:21sickly, erm, but that's the kind of feeling I get.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Right, enjoy your date tonight.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- Ah, thank you. - See you in the morning.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Deon, don't worry about it,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I heard the story I want to know more.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37CHUCKLING You're going out on a date, are you?
0:19:37 > 0:19:38- I am, yeah.- When?- Tonight.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Where... Tonight?! Where you going?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Erm, we're going for food, we don't know where yet.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Ah see, we were actually just talking about something about this now, right.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Like, don't get me wrong, food is great, gentleman-like,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52ladylike, blah, blah, blah, but it's just a bit like...
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Cliche.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Yeah, do you know what you should do? I reckon...
0:19:56 > 0:19:59go somewhere on the marina by there, tonight now, couple
0:19:59 > 0:20:03of drinks, little, little bit of food, walk around the, walk around...
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Boating!
0:20:04 > 0:20:08..the boats and stuff like that, on the beach, bit romantic like that.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Bit cold for that, John.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14- Or then go for the fun element, bowling and have a laugh and get pissed.- Have a laugh, bowling.- Yeah.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Archery.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Got to watch the drink, though, working tomorrow.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- School night.- You're BLEEP quality, you don't do any work!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Ah, BLEEP little violin out!
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Get in the shower, son, and get your glad rags on.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Cheers, I better go and, erm, yeah, catch you later, guys.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36I'll find out the goss tomorrow, son.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38HE LAUGHS
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Bless his cotton little socks!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Hiya.- Hi.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Ready now?- Yeah.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Today, Nev's hand-picked a crack team from marketing
0:21:17 > 0:21:21and HR to help field the ideas from his brightest and best.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Oh hang on, he's got his props.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I thought you were going now, sorry... Sorry about the delay.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29You brought that just in case you're caught short?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- Morning, Phil.- Morning, people.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35In any walk of life, and you know this better than anyone,
0:21:35 > 0:21:40- it's important...- To be regular? - It's important to look after
0:21:40 > 0:21:43the bottom, the grassroots of the company.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- Yeah.- The salesman, yeah?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48You're talking a load of shit.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51This here is the cheap bog roll.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52It's good stuff.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Have a feel of that, have a feel, go on.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- Lovely.- Happy?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57SHE LAUGHS
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Thank you so much(!)- Do the cheek test.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Rub it against your cheeks, see how that feels. - LAUGHTER
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Not that cheek!- This cheek?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07That feels really nice.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Now, have a feel of this stuff, this is proper quilted paper.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12OK.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Come on, what do you think? - Er, really?
0:22:18 > 0:22:19Ben, do you want to...?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23I've read made-up stats before.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25LAUGHTER
0:22:25 > 0:22:28There's not a stat he hasn't made up.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I think you've worked really hard in your presentation, I think
0:22:31 > 0:22:35it's really great that you came in here prepared, you have props.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38I've spent at least, at least 12 and a half minutes.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Right, Phil, shit idea.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42It's gone down the pan, Phil.
0:22:42 > 0:22:48It's... Your idea has gone down the pan totally, erm, you're a complete fart.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Get out! Go on, bugger off! get out!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53LAUGHTER
0:22:53 > 0:22:56On the head!
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I think the idea went down the pan.
0:23:06 > 0:23:12They thought it was crap, probably was, but, er, yeah.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17Oh, well, now on to my next big business plan,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I'll let you know how that one goes.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- See-through toaster I reckon is one. - Why?
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Cos you know how brown your toast is without having to pop it up all the time.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27"Ah, that's lovely that is," bang.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I made a new invention last night.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Gloves, right, but they've got like little letter boxes
0:23:34 > 0:23:38on the index fingers so when you're in your garden or you're outdoors
0:23:38 > 0:23:41you can just take the letter box off to do on your iPhone for...
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- They've got them now.- Have they?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Yeah, they've actually got gloves where your fingerprint
0:23:46 > 0:23:49stays on them so you don't have even to take the fingers out.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53- Little bit, erm...- They do them in Tesco's.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56I don't know why I bother.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58NEV: Look out, I think we've got Griff.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- Richard Griffiths.- Afternoon. - The ideas man.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- How are you? - We are fine, how are you, Griff?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08- You're looking well. - Yeah, I'm all right, thanks, yeah.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10OK, go on, then, pitch us.
0:24:10 > 0:24:15Every Friday, right, we invite a charity here
0:24:15 > 0:24:18and basically they wash people's cars and
0:24:18 > 0:24:21people want their cars washed and you come in in the morning,
0:24:21 > 0:24:23the charity
0:24:23 > 0:24:26will be sitting in the foyer, go up and see them, you give your two quid
0:24:26 > 0:24:29whatever it is, give them your registration, the charity then go
0:24:29 > 0:24:34round the car park just kind of wash cars all day and we could help out.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Lowest seller on the team every week in car park.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38LAUGHTER
0:24:38 > 0:24:42- Yeah, that's a good one. OK. Thanks, Griff.- Cheers, nice to see you.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49There's no point anybody else going in, mate, the money's spent.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56It's always nice to be listened to, just depends what happens
0:24:56 > 0:24:58afterwards, isn't it, you know, I listen to people all day on
0:24:58 > 0:25:02the phone, never hear what they're saying, you know what I mean?
0:25:02 > 0:25:05But, er, depends if they're listening or hearing, isn't it?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07We'll see, though.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Next is Hayley, whose dreams of becoming
0:25:10 > 0:25:14a masseuse are causing her to be anything but relaxed.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I don't know why I'm so nervous.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23I don't know why I'm so nervous because my idea is banging and like
0:25:23 > 0:25:26I'm just... Oh, I don't know, I didn't sleep last night because I haven't
0:25:26 > 0:25:30rehearsed my script, like what I was going to say, my pitch and I've
0:25:30 > 0:25:33got to look at them all and they're all staring at you and I hate it.
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Ahh!
0:25:34 > 0:25:37I'm just scared that I might stutter or forget words
0:25:37 > 0:25:40or he might just ask me a question and I'll be like, "Ahh!"
0:25:43 > 0:25:44SHE WHISTLES
0:25:44 > 0:25:45I'm shitting myself.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48"I'm very passionate about this as I would like to
0:25:48 > 0:25:50"improve my career options for myself, as well,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52"so when I'm putting down my occupation..."
0:25:52 > 0:25:54- Oh, my God, I'm BLEEP next. - SHE WHISTLES
0:25:54 > 0:25:56BLEEP
0:25:56 > 0:25:57SHE EXHALES
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Right, I think we've got her ladyship coming in next.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Oh, here she goes. Hayley's really nervous.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Whatever she says, right, don't interrupt her, let, just,
0:26:05 > 0:26:07just let her go.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09BELL RINGS
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Hi.- Rather nice, Hayley. - Right, let's go.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Yeah, I know, dressed to impress, you know what I'm saying...? Presentation.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21HAYLEY LAUGHS
0:26:21 > 0:26:25- Let's go.- Hayley, that's the longest dress I've ever seen you in. - I know.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- You're normally in one that's two feet shorter than that.- I can be a businesswoman, you know.- Uh-hm.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Bet you're surprised, but watch this, right.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- Right, I'm... I'm wowed.- Right.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37My idea is HMPS -
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Happy Massaged People Sell.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Your motto is
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Happy People Sell, everyone's happy after a massage, right?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47When you're sitting down all day, your back hurts,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50you're slouching, getting knots inside you and that
0:26:50 > 0:26:53and you get anxious about hitting targets and stuff,
0:26:53 > 0:26:55but I come along, have a gas,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57do them a cuppa,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59"Right, how's it going today?"
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Have a gas with them, massage them, yeah, happier workforce
0:27:02 > 0:27:07means more sales in the workforce and more cash in your pocket, OK?
0:27:07 > 0:27:12This is an actual business idea for yourself and for myself
0:27:12 > 0:27:14because I'm very passionate about this as I'd like to
0:27:14 > 0:27:17further my career in life as well because when I write
0:27:17 > 0:27:19stuff down like, when someone asks me what's my occupation, when
0:27:19 > 0:27:25I say the word "tealady" you know, a "tealady/masseust" it's going to
0:27:25 > 0:27:28make me look a bit, you know, so, erm, you might think, yeah, masseuse,
0:27:28 > 0:27:31whatever it's called, erm, you might think...
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- Masseust? - Masseust, whatever...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35You might think, "How you going to do this then?
0:27:35 > 0:27:40"Whilst doing teas and coffees?" But I'll do it while I'm going round. Now, er, I think...
0:27:40 > 0:27:42SHE CLICKS FINGERS
0:27:42 > 0:27:44I think that's it, like.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46LAUGHTER
0:27:46 > 0:27:50Er, but, yeah no, I'm sure I had loads here.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Erm.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56- Take your time.- Yeah, and I'm here to put a smile on everyone's face!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58That was the big finish, Hayley?!
0:27:58 > 0:27:59The big finish!
0:27:59 > 0:28:01That was the end.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Hayley, you put a smile on everybody's face all the time.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06- That's it.- I mean...- OK?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- Yeah, it's... - I don't feel I've said enough, mind.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Right, bugger off. - Right, bye now.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Bye, thanks for coming.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17She's skipping out the door!
0:28:17 > 0:28:19- LAUGHTER - She did well.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23Unlucky, boys. I just owned it. Ta-ra. Ta-ra. Ta-ra.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Shut up, Hayley.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- Yeah, I did, well I did, didn't I? - What's yours?
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Massage?
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Owned it, owned it, good luck, guys.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Owned it, didn't I?
0:28:33 > 0:28:37Owned it. Definitely. I can feel it in my bones.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39She forgot just about every word that was more than
0:28:39 > 0:28:41one syllable long.
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Well, every word other than rub.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45LAUGHTER
0:28:45 > 0:28:50That is what you call an investment for me and the company.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55Yeah! Get in there, get in there, boy.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57You're making my arse look huge with this.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09What do you know about Deon from last night?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Briefly walked past me.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Right.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15And, and I just said to him, "How did it go?"
0:29:15 > 0:29:19and he had a very nice look on his face like it went very well.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Oh, here he is, look. Deon, son!- There he is.
0:29:22 > 0:29:26Deon?! Believe it or not we were just having a chat about you.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28- What a surprise. - Come here, but. Where did you go?
0:29:28 > 0:29:32- Erm, we ended up going to The Smoke Haus.- Smoke Haus, yeah.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34- Nice?- Yeah, really good, erm... - Conversation flowing?
0:29:34 > 0:29:37- It, it was definitely flowing. - Holding hands?
0:29:37 > 0:29:39Was you holding hands when you was going in there?
0:29:39 > 0:29:42- Yeah, and coming out, yeah.- Yeah.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43- Erm, no drinking. - What did you do after that?
0:29:43 > 0:29:47- Enough drinking Saturday.- Where did you go, where did you go after? What did you do?
0:29:47 > 0:29:50- Went for a drive and then just, just took her home.- Where did you drive to?
0:29:50 > 0:29:54- Never you mind where I drove to. - Come on! - No, no.- What? You went for a drive?
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Went for a drive down The Mumbles.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58- I don't kiss and tell. - You've got to give us something.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00A little kiss on the cheek as she went off or...?
0:30:00 > 0:30:02There was, there was kissing involved.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05- Kiss on the lips.- Yeah, kiss on the lips. A nice romantic kiss.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Rumour tells me you're doing something Friday.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11- We are, yeah.- Yeah? What's the plans?- Erm, bowling.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15- Yeah!- Good suggestion. You've been talking about that for ever.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17Bit of bowling and she wants to go to the cinema as well so...
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Nice.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23- Ah, bless him.- Ah, love him.
0:30:24 > 0:30:28News of Deon's date has spread to Nev who puts giving
0:30:28 > 0:30:31tender staff support high on the business agenda.
0:30:33 > 0:30:39# All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
0:30:40 > 0:30:45# Don't let the sun go down on me in HD
0:30:45 > 0:30:46# Don't let the sun... #
0:30:46 > 0:30:49- All right, Nev? - Deon, you all right?
0:30:49 > 0:30:51I'm, I'm perfect, thanks, a lot of work to do, though.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54- A lot of work to do, Deon. - Busy, busy, busy.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- No time to fall in love then, Deon? - No. Not at all.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Are you a good tonsil hockey-ist?
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Probably asking the wrong person here.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Who should I ask?
0:31:05 > 0:31:08I don't know, I don't know if there's anyone you can ask, Nev. I don't know.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10It's not what I've heard, Deon, it's not what I've heard,
0:31:10 > 0:31:15you're waffling bullshit there, Deon. But, erm, tell me the truth.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17I may have fallen for someone.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19Fallen?!
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Blinking heck, you just fall off a cliff.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23DEON LAUGHS
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Hang on.
0:31:25 > 0:31:26IMITATES SIZZLING NOISE
0:31:26 > 0:31:28LAUGHTER
0:31:28 > 0:31:30There's colour there, it's red.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37I mean, if Deon's feelings are reciprocated in any way,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39we could have a call-centre wedding.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44DEON SIGHS
0:31:44 > 0:31:45- What?- Busy, busy, busy.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49Deon's very busy, we'd better go, we better leave him to it.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53- You're doing a good job, Deon. - Thanks, Nev.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55Which is why I love you.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57Love him.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59LAUGHTER
0:31:59 > 0:32:01Thanks.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09DEON CHUCKLES AND SIGHS
0:32:23 > 0:32:26Nev's decided which proposal to roll with.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30I thought Hayley's idea was going to be bonkers, but it's not,
0:32:30 > 0:32:33this one might have legs, it's got potential,
0:32:33 > 0:32:38it could increase sales and it'll certainly enthuse Hayley again.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Could, could work.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43Now he's got to break it to the great mind that thought it up.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- Hello!- Hello.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49Thank you very much, Hayl, thank you very much.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52You know, erm, you want to be a masseust?
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Yeah.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56You're going to be taught to be a masseuse tomorrow,
0:32:56 > 0:33:03you'll be given all the, erm, all the do's and dont's of masseustism.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06- OK.- Don't clap on your own, I might throw you a fish.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10- Oh, yeah. Erm, sound. - Is that all right?
0:33:10 > 0:33:13- Like full-on, like full-on teach me? - Good, innit?
0:33:13 > 0:33:16- Really good. Thanks, Nev. - All right.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20- Thanks, Nev. - OK. Well done, Hayley.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22I'm a masseust!
0:33:22 > 0:33:23LAUGHTER
0:33:23 > 0:33:26- Not yet, you've haven't been coached. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
0:33:26 > 0:33:27All right, get out!
0:33:31 > 0:33:34I am now going to be a qualified masseust.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38So, I'm going to be rubbing people down!
0:33:40 > 0:33:41Relieving their stress.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47Right, ta-ra, you bastards, I'm BLEEP off on my masseuse course.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Masseuse, mass... What is it, guys?
0:33:50 > 0:33:55Masseur, masseur, masseust, a masseust, a masseust? A masseur?
0:33:55 > 0:33:57What is it?
0:33:57 > 0:34:01A masseust, a masseur,
0:34:01 > 0:34:06a masseur, a massager?
0:34:06 > 0:34:10A massager, a masseur, I can't think what it's BLEEP called now,
0:34:10 > 0:34:14you're making me say it too much, I can't remember the word.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Whatever. Ta-ra, teatime.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28We've got somebody from quality sniffing around.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Is she taller than me?
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Quality... If you didn't have the Griffs of this world,
0:34:46 > 0:34:48you wouldn't need them!
0:34:48 > 0:34:52They are the traffic wardens of the call centre, nobody likes them.
0:34:53 > 0:34:58I love them really, erm, but they stop the roads clogging up.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08After jumping the date hurdle, Deon's now facing a work one.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Come on, Griff, feedback time.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16- What's happenin'?- Feedback, mate.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Try and get you a bit more bonus.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Lead the way. I don't want to shake hands.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24'Griff is probably the hardest sales agent to deal with.'
0:35:24 > 0:35:31He sometimes feels that as a quality department we nag him and we're
0:35:31 > 0:35:36taking things away from him which he doesn't necessarily agree with.
0:35:36 > 0:35:37- How many deals you on?- Three.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40Is that good by your standards, do you think? Are you happy with that?
0:35:40 > 0:35:43It's good by anybody's standards in an hour and 15 minutes.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47- Yeah, but you've always got high standards for yourself. - I wouldn't go that far.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51'And sometimes he, he maybe doesn't understand er, everything'
0:35:51 > 0:35:54that's going on in the company or maybe reasons why as a sales agent
0:35:54 > 0:35:57he is getting penalised for things going on within the company.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01So, getting that message across to him can sometimes be hard.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05OK, let's take an example. Erm, say this customer has lived in this property ten years,
0:36:05 > 0:36:08how much were they paying on their energy bills ten years ago?
0:36:08 > 0:36:11I haven't got a clue, probably half as much as they're paying now
0:36:11 > 0:36:13cos the bills have doubled in, doubled in ten years...
0:36:13 > 0:36:15So they've increased as the years have gone on?
0:36:15 > 0:36:18So, it's not what it's doing for them now, we want them to look
0:36:18 > 0:36:21at it long term, I'm not saying you haven't sold enough, I'm saying that
0:36:21 > 0:36:24there's always potential that you could sell more to build in more...
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Yeah, but they could...
0:36:25 > 0:36:28But what if, as you said, in the next week something happens or
0:36:28 > 0:36:30he completely forgets about it because...
0:36:30 > 0:36:33There's nothing I can do about that, can't be responsible for Mr Mohammed's memory.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35But what I'm saying is if you had given him
0:36:35 > 0:36:38more to work on because it was that much more important cos there's
0:36:38 > 0:36:42more in it for him, there's a higher chance of him remembering it. That, that's true, surely?
0:36:42 > 0:36:45- No, I could speak to somebody for an hour... - Listen, if you do it or not...
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Do you want to be my girlfriend? You're not letting me finish a sentence?
0:36:48 > 0:36:50Course I am, I'm letting you finish.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53But by building up more desire it becomes more important, that's all.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55- Wait there.- Whether you choose to do it or not, Griff, I'm not...
0:36:55 > 0:36:58Listen, you can do it if you want or you can't.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01No, I just need to count to five briefly... Just give me.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Right, sorry, crack on.
0:37:06 > 0:37:10You're asking questions, I'm giving you answers, if you don't like the answers.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13It's not so much I don't like them it's just they're mental.
0:37:13 > 0:37:14- Can you speak French?- No.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19- That's my point exactly.- How is that your point? Cos you're not speaking to me in French.- Exactly.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22- He speaks English and you speak English.- Can you speak French?
0:37:22 > 0:37:25- No, but you're not speaking to me in French. - No, but can you speak French?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- That has no relevance to the point though, does it?- But do you?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31- No.- You don't. Say no more.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32Right, let's break it down easy, then.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34One of the questions you haven't asked,
0:37:34 > 0:37:36"Can you park within 90m of the property?"
0:37:38 > 0:37:41- Now, whether that customer... - I'd let them Google it.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45OK, but are you asking that customer because you...
0:37:45 > 0:37:47I'd let them Google it, why am I asking
0:37:47 > 0:37:50- if I've already looked on Google Earth?- Do you confirm that was his property
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- because it wasn't on the call. - I confirmed it by his address, I got his address.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Google Earth is sometimes wrong, I think it's fair to say.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59What if the property has changed since then? Let's just say,
0:37:59 > 0:38:01let's say it has changed or the road's changed.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03The property's changed or they put the property back 100m.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06But something has been built there or they've changed the road,
0:38:06 > 0:38:08you don't know, Griff. You don't know.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10At the end of the day you don't know so you've got to confirm.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Yeah, that's right, yeah, that's a good point, that's a good point,
0:38:13 > 0:38:16yeah, that may well have happened, yeah, good thinking.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Yeah, I'll check them from now on,
0:38:18 > 0:38:19just in case they've moved the house.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21I never said about moving the house.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24Or the road sorry, sorry, which one was it?
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Or the road, I'm saying they could have changed design of...
0:38:26 > 0:38:28It's houses not a pair of pants, it's a house.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Say this is a house, right, and that's a road, yeah, and you're saying,
0:38:31 > 0:38:34no, I'm not about moving the house, you said they have moved the road,
0:38:34 > 0:38:38- well, they're going to move a road 100m and take the other road away? - I'm saying...
0:38:38 > 0:38:42- What's... He walk across the...? - Griff, come on, we've been off 40 minutes now.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- Deon, I'm going to have to cut it short here.- No, that's fine.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Yeah, I'm more than happy to and... just turned into absolute nonsense.
0:38:48 > 0:38:52I'm just saying that make sure you, you are clarifying on the questions.
0:38:52 > 0:38:53So what, what I'll do now is..
0:38:53 > 0:38:55"Oh, can you park within 90m of your home?
0:38:55 > 0:38:56"Yeah, you can, are you sure?
0:38:56 > 0:39:00"Is there any plans to move the house or move the road in the next few weeks?"
0:39:00 > 0:39:03Deon, we'll you leave it there, mate, may have to pick up another time, all right.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04- Yeah, that's fine.- OK.
0:39:11 > 0:39:16I don't think there's anybody quite like Griff in the whole world
0:39:16 > 0:39:21that, erm, he does just enough to get by all the time and erm,
0:39:21 > 0:39:24if there's a corner to be cut, yeah, he'll try and cut it
0:39:24 > 0:39:28and explain why it's necessary to cut that corner.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31I thought it went quite well and...
0:39:31 > 0:39:34HE CHUCKLES
0:39:34 > 0:39:38There's only so much bollocks I can take in my life
0:39:38 > 0:39:41and I used up the full quota myself.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43This is what happens with him and Cutters
0:39:43 > 0:39:46and people like that, they used to do this and they scramble to get off
0:39:46 > 0:39:50the phone because it's hard and then they tell us how BLEEP easy it is.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Sometimes you're trying to help people but they don't necessarily
0:39:52 > 0:39:56take that on board and that, sometimes when you're trying to feed that
0:39:56 > 0:40:00back, that message back to them and they don't, maybe, necessarily care.
0:40:00 > 0:40:05There are elements where you've just got to kind of, in a way,
0:40:05 > 0:40:06I guess, face defeat.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24After a short massage course, Hayley's being let loose
0:40:24 > 0:40:28and she's armed for stress relief.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30Crikey, what's that?!
0:40:32 > 0:40:34This? Sean, I know you like this.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35LAUGHTER
0:40:35 > 0:40:37It's double-ended!
0:40:37 > 0:40:39Come on, then!
0:40:39 > 0:40:41It's supposed to be relaxing but it's turning me on.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44LAUGHTER
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Oh, Hayley, that's absolutely banging,
0:40:46 > 0:40:49anything bad I've ever said about you I take back.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51Yeah!
0:40:53 > 0:40:56I don't think this goes through the hairspray like.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00It's not moving. It's not budging through the hairspray.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03It's not going through the hairspray.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05LAUGHTER
0:41:07 > 0:41:09I think I'm going to go, Mr Jones!
0:41:10 > 0:41:14Hi there, Mr Jones...!
0:41:14 > 0:41:15LAUGHTER
0:41:15 > 0:41:20Don't worry, she's in a good mood now, right, she'll sell after this.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23'I did learn quite a lot in a short space of time, I didn't
0:41:23 > 0:41:27'realise how much into depth there is about, about massaging like, you know,'
0:41:27 > 0:41:31I thought like it's just blah blah blah bam bam and just feel,
0:41:31 > 0:41:35get the knots out and stuff but it's not there's, there's more to it.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41I think a lot of people were just like,
0:41:41 > 0:41:43"Oh, God, Hayley's going to be
0:41:43 > 0:41:46"a massage therapist" or whatever but now they've had
0:41:46 > 0:41:50the massages off me. I've done a few people and they are already like,
0:41:50 > 0:41:54"Oh, my God this is amazing, so glad we've got this in work."
0:41:54 > 0:41:58So, but I can't do too many cos my hands are starting to ache now.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01Yeah, would that be a morning appointment or afternoon?
0:42:01 > 0:42:04It's not just stress that Hayley's magic hands are helping to
0:42:04 > 0:42:07knock off, they're also notching up sales.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Yeah, shall we get it booked for the morning, OK?
0:42:10 > 0:42:15If you've got a pen and paper I can give you all my details. It's all because of this...
0:42:15 > 0:42:16It works.
0:42:19 > 0:42:20SHE CLEARS THROAT
0:42:21 > 0:42:24Well done to both of you.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27- Thank you.- Was that cos of me?- I haven't had a deal all day!
0:42:27 > 0:42:28LAUGHTER
0:42:28 > 0:42:31I've had one deal in two days and then she comes round, thank you.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33There we are, Dicky, ha-ha!
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Well done. He was on one.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Kieran just had a deal while I was giving him a massage
0:42:40 > 0:42:41and he hadn't had any all morning.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47So er, maybe that was cos of me or I don't know!
0:42:47 > 0:42:50I don't know.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53To be honest with you I thought Hayley's technique was shit
0:42:53 > 0:42:55to start off with but then she started to get,
0:42:55 > 0:42:59to get into it like, enjoyed it.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01I wouldn't necessarily pay for it like
0:43:01 > 0:43:02but it's all right for free, innit?
0:43:04 > 0:43:07I love my job and every day's different but at some...
0:43:07 > 0:43:10but then I'm still doing the same teas and coffees every single day,
0:43:10 > 0:43:12I know exactly what everyone drinks, it becomes,
0:43:12 > 0:43:16not like a factory job but I got a routine cos I know exactly what
0:43:16 > 0:43:20they all have and I just pour it, give it, pour it, give it, pour it,
0:43:20 > 0:43:24give it, pour it, give it, pour it, give it, pour it, give it, you know,
0:43:24 > 0:43:29so this is breaking up my day as well as giving sweets and stuff out.
0:43:29 > 0:43:33Yeah, you know, it is nice to do other stuff in the call centre as well.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45His bridges well and truly burnt with quality,
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Griff's back at square one on the phones.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50CALL CONNECTED: Hello?
0:43:50 > 0:43:54- Hello, is that Mr Cummings? - That depends, who's this?
0:43:54 > 0:43:55Erm, well it depends, who's that?
0:43:55 > 0:43:57CUSTOMER LAUGHS
0:43:57 > 0:44:00And he's still not happy with the interior design.
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Cutters, why have you put those smiley faces up on the board?
0:44:04 > 0:44:07For everyone that's hit their target this week, mate.
0:44:07 > 0:44:10So it's a smiley face to create a positive, positive,
0:44:10 > 0:44:13just a positive thing, a positive energy.
0:44:13 > 0:44:14A sense of achievement, innit?
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Look at and they're happy that they've hit their target.
0:44:17 > 0:44:18Smiley face.
0:44:19 > 0:44:23So, like winners, you hit your target you're a winner.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26We'll get it sorted out for you, Griff, in the meantime though if you
0:44:26 > 0:44:30just want to sit there and we've got happy people selling down that way.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32All you have to do then is just turn round
0:44:32 > 0:44:36- and have a quick look at your smiley face on the board. - Happy people smell!
0:44:36 > 0:44:37CHUCKLING
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Don't they just?
0:44:39 > 0:44:40Happy people smell.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46This job is boring, yeah, it's monotonous, it's not really meant
0:44:46 > 0:44:49for BLEEP human beings do you know what I mean, but we haven't trained
0:44:49 > 0:44:53the chimps up yet, you know, as soon as we do they'll move straight in.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55# Every loser wins... #
0:44:55 > 0:44:56Hi, Mrs Hunter?
0:45:05 > 0:45:09As the week draws to a close, Hayley has renewed vigour and there's
0:45:09 > 0:45:14one very important person her happy hands have left until last.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Hi.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18Hello!
0:45:18 > 0:45:21I wanted to do people first so I get practice before I do you
0:45:21 > 0:45:24so, you know, that it's all right but I'll be honest with you...
0:45:26 > 0:45:27..muscular people...
0:45:27 > 0:45:30- Yeah, that's me.- ..use toys on.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33Yeah, well, I couldn't make out if you was a muscular person or the fatter people...
0:45:33 > 0:45:36- What?!- ..use more pressure!
0:45:36 > 0:45:39I was like - "He's muscular but he's also chunky as well."
0:45:39 > 0:45:40SHE LAUGHS
0:45:42 > 0:45:43So... I use.
0:45:43 > 0:45:45Well, chunky's all right. Fat!
0:45:45 > 0:45:48No, but you have got a bad back haven't you, so that...
0:45:48 > 0:45:51..well, I think, but anyway.
0:45:51 > 0:45:52Get on with it.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55- Right, so you need to relax first... - That's me relaxed.
0:45:55 > 0:45:57- You need to sit a bit forward... - Sit a bit forward.
0:45:57 > 0:45:59- ..and, again right.- Right.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Right. Now I just have to warm you up for a minute.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Ah.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14Hey.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23- That one made me shiver.- Did it? - Yeah.
0:46:23 > 0:46:26- Some people have had goose pimples with this. - Yeah, goose pimples, is what it is.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Oh...
0:46:29 > 0:46:31When I first heard about it...
0:46:31 > 0:46:33I thought, erm...
0:46:34 > 0:46:36"What a dopey idea."
0:46:36 > 0:46:37Other call centre's got it.
0:46:37 > 0:46:41Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just hope it's not contagious.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43It has enhanced sales...
0:46:44 > 0:46:47..it is, it is good, it is nice.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49This is nice erm,
0:46:49 > 0:46:54but, not only, but also, it has enhanced Hayley's career.
0:46:54 > 0:46:59Not only, but also, for the first time in history,
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- Hayley has won an attendance bonus. - Oh, yeah, yeah!
0:47:02 > 0:47:04Yeah, the one...
0:47:04 > 0:47:08- Yes, last week I was waiting for someone to tell you. - Ever since she has been here
0:47:08 > 0:47:09Hayley has erm,
0:47:09 > 0:47:13missed out on attendance bonus which is £1.50 an hour for four years.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15SHE LAUGHS
0:47:15 > 0:47:19She's been down the pan now for probably reaching
0:47:19 > 0:47:22£14,500 in the time that she's been here.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26The sales people are having a heart attack when I walk in early!
0:47:26 > 0:47:30Last week she earned attendance bonus.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Marvellous!
0:47:32 > 0:47:33That's supposed to wake you up.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35Oh, yeah, that woke me up, right.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38In all honesty, what do you think of it?
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Oh, look, in all honesty?
0:47:40 > 0:47:43In all honesty, out of ten how much do you think, how well do you think I did?
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- You did really well, it was a ten. - No, really, though.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49Really now. Really really really.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53Yeah, maybe this year, I'm just, I've got more, what's the word you're
0:47:53 > 0:47:56looking for when you got, more... what's the word I'm looking for?
0:47:56 > 0:47:59- When I... - Drive? Commitment? Dedication?
0:47:59 > 0:48:02No, you've got more priority, no commit, you've got more,
0:48:02 > 0:48:04there's a word you know, when you've got,
0:48:04 > 0:48:08you're striving to be better in yourself and more.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11Hayley, life is moving in the right direction
0:48:11 > 0:48:14- but do it again next week, yeah? - I'll try.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16You can do this, Hayl, you can do it, you can
0:48:16 > 0:48:18do it, I know you can do it, I've got faith.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20- OK.- All right? Is that all right? - Yeah.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22- Happy girl?- Yeah.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25- Are you?- Yeah.- Good.- Thank you.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27Well done. Get out!
0:48:29 > 0:48:33Something's energised her, she's got enough energy, I know
0:48:33 > 0:48:37but something has clicked in her and she's made it on time to work
0:48:37 > 0:48:42five days on the trot, a magnificent performance(!)
0:48:43 > 0:48:48For most people it would be expected, for Hayley it is
0:48:48 > 0:48:53a magnificent performance, just getting here on time.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55I'm thrilled.
0:48:55 > 0:48:57HE CHUCKLES
0:48:57 > 0:49:00I know I'm just a complete and utter mess and I'm a mockery,
0:49:00 > 0:49:03I am a mockery to society like, you know, why can't
0:49:03 > 0:49:05I just be normal and earn money and wake up?
0:49:05 > 0:49:07I'm growing up slowly and it's
0:49:07 > 0:49:10crazy because you've seen, I think he's seen me growing up into a woman and
0:49:10 > 0:49:15changing careers and turning into a massage therapist and, who knows, next
0:49:15 > 0:49:18year I could be a manager in here you know, with more ideas floating
0:49:18 > 0:49:23about, this room in here could be my little salon, you don't know.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26You don't know, do you?
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Don't underestimate the tea lady,
0:49:29 > 0:49:31I'm full of ideas even though I haven't got a brain.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33SHE CHUCKLES
0:49:40 > 0:49:44Hayley's life is moving in the right direction but Deon and Kelly
0:49:44 > 0:49:46have reached the end of the road.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Deon man, how the devil are you?
0:49:49 > 0:49:53- Not too bad mate, not too bad. - Good, good, good.
0:49:53 > 0:49:54What you up to?
0:49:54 > 0:49:57So, what's going on then?
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Nothing, nothing much. How are you?
0:49:59 > 0:50:02I'm good, rumour on the grapevine erm, this er,
0:50:02 > 0:50:06- it's gone a little bit Pete Tong. - It has, mate, it has, erm...
0:50:06 > 0:50:08What happened?
0:50:08 > 0:50:10Just kind of wanted different things.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14She wanted something more relaxed I think, maybe she just didn't want,
0:50:14 > 0:50:17she wasn't ready for a relationship whereas I was so we just
0:50:17 > 0:50:21decided to kind of be mates, I think it's for the best really, no point
0:50:21 > 0:50:25trying to er, trying to work with something that's not quite there.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29I wouldn't take it to heart, too much like, how old are you?
0:50:29 > 0:50:31- 20?- 23.- 23?
0:50:31 > 0:50:35- So you are still quite young, now, was she young as well? - Er, she was 21.
0:50:35 > 0:50:3921. But you are looking for the old er..
0:50:39 > 0:50:41- Yeah, I mean. - Settling down.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45I'd like to try and find someone who I kind of just connect with.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47Not sort of settle down as in like kids
0:50:47 > 0:50:50and houses, I'm not talking about that settled down
0:50:50 > 0:50:53- but in a proper relationship, not the casual thing.- Yeah, exactly.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56Is it, is it, is it doing your head in a little bit, is it?
0:50:56 > 0:50:58Yeah, I mean you're going to be gutted, aren't you?
0:50:58 > 0:51:01But you've just got to kind of just get back on,
0:51:01 > 0:51:02get back on your horse and just carry on.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06At the end of the day you've just got to, you've just got to sort of
0:51:06 > 0:51:10like, I don't know, not sort of brush it off but you've got to, you've
0:51:10 > 0:51:13got to keep a brave face about it all at the end of the day, haven't you?
0:51:13 > 0:51:16- Got to. - But I don't know it's just like...
0:51:17 > 0:51:20It will be difficult for you and
0:51:20 > 0:51:23because...you're going to see her all the time, aren't you?
0:51:23 > 0:51:27Yeah. I guess it's kind of like, even if it's only like a couple
0:51:27 > 0:51:30of weeks it's, it's always just going to kind of hit you a little
0:51:30 > 0:51:33hard really and it's just going to get over but live and learn, don't you?
0:51:33 > 0:51:35- You'll be all right now. - Yeah.- Right.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37Yeah, you going back to your team now? Cheers, mate.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Yeah, going to have a little gander.
0:51:39 > 0:51:42- Appreciate it, cheers, man.- Don't worry, chin up right, don't worry about it.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43- Cheers, mate.- Happy days.
0:51:45 > 0:51:49Me and Deon went out a few times, spent a bit of time together
0:51:49 > 0:51:52but I think it just kind of slowly fizzled out to
0:51:52 > 0:51:55a point where we just decided to stop seeing each other
0:51:55 > 0:51:58because there was just nothing really going on there.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01To be honest, I hadn't really looked that far ahead as to where it
0:52:01 > 0:52:04was going but it didn't really feel like it was going anywhere or
0:52:04 > 0:52:07I felt like maybe he wanted it to go a bit further than
0:52:07 > 0:52:10I wanted it to go so it was better off just to stop
0:52:10 > 0:52:12seeing each other now so we can still be friends.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35I don't think they want me to go in.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40- Hello, Nev. - Hello, Liz. Do you mind if I come in?
0:52:40 > 0:52:42- Of course not. - Oh good, thanks, Liz.
0:52:46 > 0:52:48- You all right, Deon? - Yep, good thanks, Nev.
0:52:48 > 0:52:51- Are you sure you're all right? - Yeah, fine.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53I'm trying to make sure you're, you know,
0:52:53 > 0:52:55console you is what I'm trying to do.
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Oh, I don't need consoling, I'm fine.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00And I think we just wanted different things, Nev,
0:53:00 > 0:53:02think that's what it kind of ended up being.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04- Different things.- Yeah. - So what did she want?
0:53:04 > 0:53:07I just don't think she wanted a relationship. Unfortunately.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09- You glad I've come to console you? - Nope.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11LAUGHTER
0:53:11 > 0:53:13Probably made it worse but it's fine.
0:53:13 > 0:53:16- You're all right, yeah?- Yeah, I'm fine.- OK.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18It's OK cos happy people, you know, don't have to work in this
0:53:18 > 0:53:21department, do they?
0:53:21 > 0:53:24I think I need to go and find him another date.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27No, no, you don't, no, I'm perfectly fine,
0:53:27 > 0:53:29I'm perfectly fine without another date.
0:53:29 > 0:53:32I think I need to march him up and down the call centre
0:53:32 > 0:53:35but I'm, I'm sensing a certain amount of resistance to my idea.
0:53:35 > 0:53:39- You should be sensing a lot of resistance, to be honest. - I think I should, yeah.
0:53:39 > 0:53:43If I'm not giving you enough resistance I'm not doing it right. That I think is the problem here,
0:53:43 > 0:53:45I'm not showing you enough resistance.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48It's a specialised subject of mine.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50You're not impressed, are you?
0:53:50 > 0:53:51OK.
0:53:51 > 0:53:57Every single one of us, like everyone in here...it feels like we're part
0:53:57 > 0:54:01of his family, so he looks out for each and every one of us and I guess
0:54:01 > 0:54:04if someone in your family was upset you wouldn't just go, "Oh, there, there"
0:54:04 > 0:54:07give them some comforting words and walk away, you do anything you can
0:54:07 > 0:54:11to make them happy and that's what I think Nev's trying to do, erm...
0:54:11 > 0:54:15I wouldn't say he's doing it in the right way in my case but erm,
0:54:15 > 0:54:18he's trying which er, you can't, you can't fault him for.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22I know you want to shake my warmly by the throat but shake my hand instead.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24That'll be fine.
0:54:24 > 0:54:26Cos I am rooting for you, you know that.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Yeah always. Thanks, Nev.
0:54:28 > 0:54:29Thanks, Deon.
0:54:29 > 0:54:30Doing well.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Shows he cares.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51As Nev says, SWSWSWN.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54Some will, some won't, so what, next.
0:54:54 > 0:54:58It's disappointing but that's life for you, isn't it? Ups and downs.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17How about a cake, mate?
0:55:17 > 0:55:20- I'm all right. - Why?
0:55:20 > 0:55:21What, what's in it?
0:55:21 > 0:55:24- Er, chocolate. Chocolate cake. - What's the catch?
0:55:24 > 0:55:27There's no catch, mate, just cos I like you.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29- Free cake? - Free cake.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32I'll eat it, Deon, but if I die, I'm coming back to haunt you.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35- Awesome, if you die, can I have your job?- Yeah.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37By the time I was 23 I'd had two kids erm,
0:55:37 > 0:55:41and times are different now.
0:55:42 > 0:55:47Bottom line is he is still hurting, it you know, it was in later life
0:55:47 > 0:55:50that I seemed to cock up more in relationships so erm...
0:55:52 > 0:55:55..he's got a lot to look forward to.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57We're blokes, we continuously cock it up.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Next time...
0:56:01 > 0:56:05"Roses are red, violets are blue, you're really pretty,
0:56:05 > 0:56:06"I want to shaft you!"
0:56:06 > 0:56:08Love is in the air.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11I don't want to find love in the call centre, I want to man with money like.
0:56:11 > 0:56:12LAUGHTER
0:56:12 > 0:56:14Nev shows the work experience the ropes.
0:56:15 > 0:56:17Come on.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20- And Griff is on the edge. - Obviously, you're grossly over paid
0:56:20 > 0:56:22so I wouldn't imagine you're qualified.
0:56:22 > 0:56:24I'm just trying to find out who's entitled to a free boiler
0:56:24 > 0:56:26and it's ended like this.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28Disappointed in the extreme.