0:00:02 > 0:00:05'I'm Tyger Drew-Honey and I'm about to turn 18.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07'I'm on the cusp of adulthood.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'But going from boy to man is harder than it looks.'
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Oooorgh!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19I look like Simon Cowell!
0:00:19 > 0:00:23'If you think real life is confusing, you should see the inside of my head.'
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Yeah, gobble, gobble.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26Yes, I love you!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30'So, I want to know how everyone else is coping.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33'Surely I'm not the only one struggling to become a grown-up.'
0:00:33 > 0:00:36You don't actually do this, do you?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# No, you girls never know
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# How you make the boy feel. #
0:00:44 > 0:00:47'This time, I'm looking at love.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52'With apps and social media keeping my generation connected 24/7,
0:00:52 > 0:00:56'it should be easier than ever for us to find someone to love,
0:00:56 > 0:00:58'but is all this technology helping
0:00:58 > 0:01:01'or getting in the way of us meeting the one?'
0:01:01 > 0:01:03It's much easier to talk to someone from behind the screen.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05There's a lot more competition.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07'Has our appetite for casual encounters
0:01:07 > 0:01:10'left us incapable of traditional commitment?'
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Even though everything was fine and he was a lovely boy, still on it.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Still on the app, still addicted.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18'And is anything off limits when it comes to the modern relationship?'
0:01:18 > 0:01:21If she wants to mess around with women,
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I've got to get something out of it, whether that be a threesome
0:01:24 > 0:01:27or I get to sleep with other women.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30'In order to get to grips with the new rules of relationships,
0:01:30 > 0:01:33'I'm going to put myself through as many dates as possible.'
0:01:33 > 0:01:35You know what? You're smoking.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38'It might all be in the name of research but, who knows,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40'maybe I'll meet the one.'
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Have I got red lips?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52'My journey began where else but Paris, the city of love?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54'I'd come to celebrate turning 18
0:01:54 > 0:01:56'and I'd brought someone special with me.'
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Happy birthday.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02'That's Libby. We met recently online and instantly hit it off.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05'She's cute, fun and we have a right laugh,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07'but she's not my girlfriend.'
0:02:08 > 0:02:10What do you think of Paris?
0:02:10 > 0:02:14I really like it. It's...like, a pretty city.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Pretty city. Pretty city. - What do you think of it?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21- It's kind of romantic and I've always wanted to...- Romantic?
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Yeah, I know, between me and you, eh?- I know.- I'm joking.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29'I mean, I'm 18 and definitely not ready to settle down with anyone.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33'Casually dating Libby meant I could keep my options open
0:02:33 > 0:02:35'and it seems I'm not the only one.'
0:02:35 > 0:02:39It is definitely OK to date more than one person.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41More than one at a time? Yeah.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I don't know how they've got the time to do it but people are doing that.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46It's nice to have a selection.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52I suppose it's like buying a car. You're looking around to find
0:02:52 > 0:02:55the one that suits you and you have the opportunity to do it so why not?
0:02:55 > 0:02:59'Who said romance was dead? Well, lots of people, actually.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03'Of the 15 million single guys and girls currently in the UK,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06'a whopping 75% haven't had a relationship
0:03:06 > 0:03:08'make it past 18 months.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12'It seems no-one's in a rush to commit, myself included.'
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- I really like you, Libby. - I really like you too.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17But...
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I think we should see other people.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Wait, what do you mean by that? Why?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Because I want to see other people.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28You all right?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I could not...
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I don't know how to say it.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38In the most modest way, I could easily speak to someone else,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41but I definitely would never want to.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I think we have something.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45'I couldn't deny that Libby had a point.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48'There was something good between us.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50'But before I settle on one girl,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52'I needed to see what else was out there.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59'Back home, I wanted to understand what the new rules of the dating
0:03:59 > 0:04:03'game were and how they were impacting on my generation.'
0:04:03 > 0:04:07I think online dating has taken the world by storm, in a way.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10It's completely revolutionised the way we see relationships
0:04:10 > 0:04:13and dating and stuff, especially my generation.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16It's just come in and sweeped us off our feet.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20'We've never known a world without social media
0:04:20 > 0:04:23'so it should be no surprise that when we want to connect,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25'technology is the first place we go.'
0:04:25 > 0:04:28It's so crazy how you can just technically meet
0:04:28 > 0:04:30so many people online so easily.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32They're just fingertips away.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35'Of course, getting your romantic kicks in cyberspace is nothing new,
0:04:35 > 0:04:37'but for my generation,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40'the last couple of years have seen that world explode.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44'For the first time ever, dating apps have overtaken websites
0:04:44 > 0:04:46'when it comes to looking for love.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49'Want to find out if your date's decent in bed?
0:04:49 > 0:04:50'There's an app for that.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54'Want to say "Hi" to that supermodel stuck in traffic next to you?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56'Yeah, there's an app for that too.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59'Want to know if her dad's a registered shotgun owner?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02'There's even an app for that! Nah, just kidding. I made that one up.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03'I hope!
0:05:03 > 0:05:07'It feels like there has never been a better time to connect than now.'
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Everyone's online.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Literally everyone I know is on it. - There's a lot more competition.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15You can instantly find someone, instantly see somebody,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17and you can make a decision straightaway.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Just flick through profiles and say, "Yeah, I like that person."
0:05:21 > 0:05:24It is easier to be on an app and to be typing to someone
0:05:24 > 0:05:27than it is to be talking face to face with someone.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30I'm in a relationship and I feel like the weird one
0:05:30 > 0:05:31because I'm not on there.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36'But despite the endless connections that technology has opened up to us,
0:05:36 > 0:05:41'60% of 18 to 24-year-olds admit to feeling lonely.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44'So what's gone wrong?
0:05:44 > 0:05:48'To find out, I'm going to go on as many dates as I can.'
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I figure there's a few things that could happen.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Either I'm going to come out of it the best dater in the world
0:05:54 > 0:05:56and never have trouble with girls again,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59or I'm going to find the girl of my dreams.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00I'm buzzing for it.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06'But first I decided to get some advice from my dad.'
0:06:07 > 0:06:09- That is cool.- £550.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12'After all, after 30 years as Britain's biggest porn star,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14'he claims to know a thing or two about women.'
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- # City girls just...# - Dad, Dad, just shut up.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Back in my day, it was like...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Well, when I say chatting up and dating,
0:06:27 > 0:06:31basically, you had eight minutes at 11.00pm at Bridge Country Club
0:06:31 > 0:06:34on a Friday and Saturday night, waiting for the opening chords
0:06:34 > 0:06:37of Hey There Lonely Girl by Eddie Holman,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40followed closely by Gonna Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse
0:06:40 > 0:06:43by Jimmy Helms, that was known as the erection section,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46and you stayed there all night looking at who you...
0:06:46 > 0:06:50and then at 11.00pm he played two slow songs and that was about
0:06:50 > 0:06:53eight minutes and that was your chance to pull - that was it.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57If you were lucky, after three or four dates, you might get to,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00as we used to say, tit someone up.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- What does that mean? - It means getting to touch tit.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- After four dates? - Yeah, four dates, not four days.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Four dates?- Oh, yeah.- That's mad. - Yeah, it was way different.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14You know, you couldn't be in constant contact
0:07:14 > 0:07:18so you had a phone in your flat, like, a landline.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21If she wasn't there when you tried to ring her...
0:07:21 > 0:07:24It was a lot more... a lot slower process
0:07:24 > 0:07:27because just getting in touch with people was more...of a chore.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31You would have had to, say, over two weeks,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35do what, maybe, you might progress in a relationship in two days now.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Yeah, absolutely.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Can I get this one? - That's nice, yeah. That is nice.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Can I get a pack of plectrums as well, please?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- Lovely. Thanks very much. - You're very welcome.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55'After all this romantic talk of erection sections and titting up,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58'there was only one thing for it, a soft rock love ballad.'
0:07:58 > 0:08:02BOTH SING: # But I know the reason why
0:08:02 > 0:08:04# You keep your silence up
0:08:05 > 0:08:07# No, you don't fool me
0:08:08 > 0:08:11# The hurt doesn't show
0:08:11 > 0:08:13# But the pain still grows... #
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Ready? # It's no stranger to you and me
0:08:16 > 0:08:19DRUM FILL
0:08:19 > 0:08:24# I can feel it coming in the air tonight
0:08:26 > 0:08:28# Oh, Lord... #
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Your phone's ringing.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34'You've quite literally been saved by the bell there,
0:08:34 > 0:08:37'but, in all seriousness, the morning spent with my dad
0:08:37 > 0:08:40'got me thinking about how far dating had come.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45'It's a popular misconception that cavemen met women
0:08:45 > 0:08:48'by clubbing them and dragging them back to their caves.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51'In truth, the blow from the club would have killed them.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57'By the 1800s, Jane Austen had set hearts aflutter with her new breed
0:08:57 > 0:08:59'of romantic but repressed literary hero.'
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Hello, Mr Darcy.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Miss Elizabeth, I have been longing to speak to you about something
0:09:06 > 0:09:10my heart has been, erm, burning to share.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Oh, do stop going on, Mr Darcy.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Would you like to give me a damn good seeing to or not?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19'By the 1990s, dating services were all the rage
0:09:19 > 0:09:22'and you could even try finding love using a video profile.'
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Erm, hi, my name's Tyger. I'm 27 years old.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I live with my mum and my cat, Cobain.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Eh? Cat Cobain!
0:09:28 > 0:09:32So, yeah, I ain't got that much money but if you enjoy
0:09:32 > 0:09:36a reasonably priced meal at a chain restaurant, I'm the man for you.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43'Today, with the rise of Internet and app dating meaning relationships move faster than ever,
0:09:43 > 0:09:47'many are wondering, is romance dead?'
0:09:47 > 0:09:49# Talk dirty to me
0:09:52 > 0:09:54# Talk dirty to me... #
0:09:58 > 0:10:01'Blazing the trail for digital dating
0:10:01 > 0:10:03'is a little app called Tinder.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05'Launched in the US less than 18 months ago,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08'it makes 10 million matches per day worldwide
0:10:08 > 0:10:12'and it's taking Britain by storm with more than one million users
0:10:12 > 0:10:15'joining in the past two months alone.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19'By connecting to Facebook and allowing you to pick your date based on nothing more than looks,
0:10:19 > 0:10:22'it's managed to tap into the shallowest parts of ourselves.'
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- He looks like a pharmacist. - And he is a pharmacist.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28'Unsurprisingly, we love it.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32'I travelled to Belfast to meet Lauren and Rachel,
0:10:32 > 0:10:35'two girls who were so hooked, they couldn't imagine life without it.'
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Hiya.- You all right?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Lovely to meet you.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43'I hoped they could help me understand how the UK has become
0:10:43 > 0:10:46'one of the most Tinder-addicted countries in the world.'
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- What do you get out of it? - Lots of dates.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Lots of dates. It gives you a wee bit of a boost.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53If you get a match, you're, like,
0:10:53 > 0:10:57"Oh, my goodness, someone likes me. I must look good."
0:10:57 > 0:10:59She says no to someone and I'm, like,
0:10:59 > 0:11:02"I would have said yes to him in a heartbeat."
0:11:02 > 0:11:04And then you don't find the person.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07It could have been the love of my life.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Do you remember the day I was, like, this boy is an aerospace engineer
0:11:10 > 0:11:13and he's just the right age and he looked brilliant
0:11:13 > 0:11:15and then I didn't get a match.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Literally, I was heartbroken for a good week over that one boy
0:11:19 > 0:11:21who didn't give me a match.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Nope.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- He's got a cute dog.- Oh, my God.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30No.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31- No.- No.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33He's actually not too bad looking.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37- I'd say yes to him. There you go. - Thanks!- No problem.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39It's a match.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43'The girls clock up an incredible 20 hours per week on this app
0:11:43 > 0:11:45'but they get a lot more out of it than I expected.'
0:11:45 > 0:11:49I'm really shy. Really, really shy compared to Rachel,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52who is really outgoing. She will talk to anyone, I'm really shy.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55If I was talking to a guy I'd rather be on Tinder
0:11:55 > 0:11:57or a night out because I'm drunk.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- That's about the only time...- Even Tinder's boosted your confidence.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04She finds it so much easier just to speak to people
0:12:04 > 0:12:07and you're not as timid as you once were.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10'But I needed to see if their confidence really did extend
0:12:10 > 0:12:12'past their front door, so we headed out.'
0:12:19 > 0:12:21'OK, yes, I picked the venue, but come on,
0:12:21 > 0:12:25'there's music, mood lighting, warm beer in plastic cups.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28'Also, I'm amazing at this game, so what's not to love?'
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Do you do this on your dates?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Like, completely annihilate the competition?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40'In hindsight, showing off in rented shoes
0:12:40 > 0:12:42'may not be the best way to impress the girls.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44'But if I wanted to find out the new rules,
0:12:44 > 0:12:48'I really needed to get dating. So no time like the present.'
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Rachel, would you go on a date with me?- Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- Do you want to go on a date tonight? - Yeah.- Yeah?- Yeah. Let's go for it.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- We could go on one, as well. - LAUGHTER
0:13:00 > 0:13:05- You can't ask two girls out. - OK, I was kind of joking.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- OK. I'm looking forward to it. - I'm not.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09LAUGHTER
0:13:09 > 0:13:11'My first date was in the bag. Result!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13'But there was a problem.'
0:13:13 > 0:13:15What about if you just come out with us
0:13:15 > 0:13:17and then you'll find one while you're out?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19'Lauren wasn't keen to be a spare part that night,
0:13:19 > 0:13:22'so she relied on what she knows best to get a date fast.'
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Yes!- No.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- No, no, no.- He had mine earlier and got this munter!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Oh, he's good looking.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32He's good looking.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39'It didn't take long for Lauren to find a match.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41'And after some quick messaging between her
0:13:41 > 0:13:43'and her mystery man, the double date was on!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50'To be honest, I hadn't been on a first date in ages.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52'But there were no time for nerves.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55'Besides, I've always thought first dates were a bit like an audition.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57'And I've done plenty of those.'
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Um...I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here
0:13:59 > 0:14:01and come back to my place.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02No, that's not really working for me.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Could you do it again, but maybe try an American accent?
0:14:05 > 0:14:09I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here and come back...
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Right, thank you, that's great. We'll be in touch.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19'Cyber dating had definitely worked for Lauren that night.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23'She showed up with Paul and they seemed to hit it off straightaway.'
0:14:27 > 0:14:29How do you think Lauren and Paul are getting on?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- They seem OK. I don't know. - He seems like a nice guy.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I haven't spoken to him at all.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37But she said he seems nice, so...
0:14:37 > 0:14:41'But as the night got going, I only had eyes for Rachel.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44'She was looking hot and we were getting on really well.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46'Yep, really well.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52'I think that's what they call a successful end to the night.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55'We decided to head out with Lauren and Paul right behind us.'
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- How's your date gone, guys? - Not went bad, like.- Not went bad?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- It's not gone bad at all. - So, it's went well? Oh!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- So, do you guys like each other?- He's a nice guy.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Oh, nice guy!
0:15:06 > 0:15:07LAUGHTER
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Yeah, I think I'm having a pretty successful date.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I think she seems to like me. I really like her.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Um...it's a shame she lives in Belfast.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Have I got red lips?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27'App dating was certainly working for the girls,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'but was technology working for everyone?'
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Technology, like, helps and hinders, definitely.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35People are never off their phones.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Don't have to have as much face-to-face contact now.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41And in a lot of ways, that is quite isolating.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43There isn't any, like, love letters any more.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Everyone seems to be indoors
0:15:44 > 0:15:46projecting themselves as a different person,
0:15:46 > 0:15:48rather than actually being outdoors,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51being that person that they're claiming to be.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54'With so much of app-dating success dependent on
0:15:54 > 0:15:57'just a few pictures, it can be a tricky game to master.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03'But I'd heard about a guy in Leeds who claimed to have beaten the odds.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08'After many years failing to find love online, IT manager Chris
0:16:08 > 0:16:11'decided to apply his computing know-how to his romantic life.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14'He devised a complex system he says
0:16:14 > 0:16:17'has cracked the code to the virtual dating game.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18'I was intrigued.'
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Hello, there. Come on in. I'll stick the kettle on.- OK. Cool.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- It's really cold.- Just a bit. - I'm Tyger. Nice to meet you.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Nice to meet you. Chris here. - Chris. Cool.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- I like what you're wearing.- Well, it's just my casual, everyday stuff.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33You mean you don't have one of these?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35No, I do. I definitely do. I've got about three.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38'But this was no time to get distracted by onesies.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41'I was about to discover Chris's big secret.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43'The key to success in digital dating.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47'The secrets of finding love on the net. This was massive.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49'This was going to be amazing.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51'This...was a spreadsheet.'
0:16:51 > 0:16:53We're going to have some fun with this, I can tell you.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Right, go on. What is this, then?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57So first of all, I thought,
0:16:57 > 0:17:02"Right, then, let's try a couple of ways to start a conversation."
0:17:02 > 0:17:05"Hey, thought I'd drop you a message after viewing your profile
0:17:05 > 0:17:07"as it can be annoying when someone views you
0:17:07 > 0:17:09"and then just doesn't say anything.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11"Or maybe that's just me. Ha-ha."
0:17:11 > 0:17:14You've got kind of like a little funny thing in the end, as well.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17They always say, make a girl laugh, so, er...if you can do that
0:17:17 > 0:17:20with the get-go, you're onto a winner, I reckon.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22OK.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26'I must admit, I admired the simplicity of Chris's system.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29'By recording every single word he's written to every girl he's contacted
0:17:29 > 0:17:31'and then noting their response,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33'Chris is able to track what works
0:17:33 > 0:17:35'and what doesn't when it comes to online dating.'
0:17:36 > 0:17:38How many are there on there?
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Probably talking over 3,000 on just one website alone.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44What's the difference between the plain ones,
0:17:44 > 0:17:45grey boxes and purple names?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48These are the ones that have had follow-up messages
0:17:48 > 0:17:51and the purple ones are the ones that started talking,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53stopped talking, I've sent a follow-up
0:17:53 > 0:17:55and they've restarted talking.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- OK.- And that's what I'm hoping to do, really,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59is take all the confidence, the experience
0:17:59 > 0:18:01and all the knowledge that I've gained here,
0:18:01 > 0:18:05take it out into the world and sort of boost my chances out there
0:18:05 > 0:18:09and see if, you know, you can achieve something as crazy
0:18:09 > 0:18:13and as illogical as love using a logical system.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18'Even though Chris's time online had bagged him quite a few first dates,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20'he admitted that they hadn't gone much further than that.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25'I wanted to know if Chris's system really had prepared him
0:18:25 > 0:18:27'for the real world as much as he thought.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28'So we headed to the gym.'
0:18:30 > 0:18:32There's good-looking girls everywhere
0:18:32 > 0:18:35with not that many clothes on, often very sweaty and out of breath.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Do you not think it's a good place to approach girls?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Well, you've cracked the nail on the head, really. Slim, beautiful girls.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45That's definite...
0:18:45 > 0:18:48If I wasn't scared before, I certainly will be approaching them!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50And I'm often sweaty myself,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53so, er...that's hardly a good come-on really, is it?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Would you have any trouble sending her a message on online dating?
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Not in the slightest.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Well, then, why should it be any different, bro?
0:19:00 > 0:19:03I know what I'm doing there. I know what I'm going to say.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07But you've been practising for ages online,
0:19:07 > 0:19:09so maybe it's time to really put it into the real world.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17That's...that's a big step, mate, that's a big step.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24'Even though approaching girls can be a nerve-racking experience for anyone,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26'I've discovered Chris's anxiety in the romantic arena
0:19:26 > 0:19:28'stemmed from years of systematic bullying.'
0:19:28 > 0:19:31A lot of the insecurities and a lot of the lack of confidence
0:19:31 > 0:19:35is through that sort of process of being bullied for a period of time.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37It really does wear you down, I think.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40I know. I mean, I...I've been bullied small amounts in my life
0:19:40 > 0:19:42just because of the sort of...
0:19:42 > 0:19:45I don't know, my parents were in the porn industry and I was on TV
0:19:45 > 0:19:47and I'm called Tyger, so I've had my fair share of bullying
0:19:47 > 0:19:50and it really, you know, it can really, you know,
0:19:50 > 0:19:51grind a person down and...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Even throwaway comments that don't mean anything to someone else
0:19:54 > 0:19:57can really hit home, especially if you're not too sure of yourself.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Some people can brush it off, water off a duck's back,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01but some people take it a bit more to heart.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Especially over time, as well.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04If more than one person keeps saying it, you think,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06"Maybe they've got a point."
0:20:06 > 0:20:08And so I just said, right, that's enough,
0:20:08 > 0:20:10let's do something about it, really.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12You know, let's prove them all wrong.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16'I admired Chris' determination to tackle his low self-esteem,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19'but it felt like his dependence on technology
0:20:19 > 0:20:21'might genuinely be holding him back.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25'He connected with hundreds of girls per week,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27'but was no closer to finding The One.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38'I started to wonder if the superficial nature of cyber dating
0:20:38 > 0:20:41'was distracting us from the possibility
0:20:41 > 0:20:42'of something more meaningful.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46'And it seems I wasn't the only one.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49'I'd come to Newcastle to meet radio DJ, JoJo,
0:20:49 > 0:20:53'whose devotion to dating apps had started to border on addiction.'
0:20:53 > 0:20:55If you name an online dating app, I have used it.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58It's awful. Even as I'm talking about it, I'm embarrassed.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01But the thing is, I found someone on this app, right,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04started going out with them, I know, right, totally...
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Oh, he was mint, as well, just so canny and, like, lovely.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11And, like, I was going out with him for a while and everything was fine.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Even though everything was fine and he was a lovely boy, still on it.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Still on the app. Still addicted, still using it.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19And it's because of that, because I was still addicted
0:21:19 > 0:21:20and because there was no trust or anything,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23that, like, we're not going out any more now.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24So, like I've thrown it away.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27And I know that, like, there's tonnes of other people who are in my position.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- Maybe not as bad, but who are... - I'm sure there are.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32But, like, behind this internet thing
0:21:32 > 0:21:34and hiding behind the phones or whatever,
0:21:34 > 0:21:37and, um...people just need to, like, grab the bull...
0:21:37 > 0:21:39grab the relationship bull by the horns.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42'JoJo and I decided to demonstrate the craziness of choosing
0:21:42 > 0:21:46'who to fall in love with from just a snapshot on a screen.'
0:21:46 > 0:21:48- And a green man.- Ah, a green man!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50'We headed for the city centre,
0:21:50 > 0:21:53'where we planned to play App Dating Live.'
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- Ah, there's a bus!- He's going left.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57'Turning people down online is one thing,
0:21:57 > 0:21:59'but how would it feel face to face?'
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Oh, excellent work!- That looks good.
0:22:01 > 0:22:06You are getting a boy and I'm going to get a girl. Get with it, come on!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10'This was either going to be ground-breaking research
0:22:10 > 0:22:13'into the psyche of the modern world of love,
0:22:13 > 0:22:15'or a really awkward couple of hours.'
0:22:17 > 0:22:19I'm assuming I just spin the board, yes or no.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21If it's a yes and you think I'm hot, you give me a green.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24If it's a no and you don't think I'm hot, then you give me a red.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Right. One, two, three, go!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh, it's a mismatch.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Sorry, love. - I'd have felt bad if I'd put red.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37See, that's the thing, that's the thing.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39This is what we're trying to prove.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Like, on Tinder, if you saw someone you didn't like, you'd be, like,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43"No, no, no, no, no."
0:22:43 > 0:22:46But if it's actually face to face, you feel bad, don't you?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Yeah.- Why is that, do you think?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Because you're more concerned of the other person, how they'd feel.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- But it's like instant judge. It's really shallow.- Exactly.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00How could you know you'd like someone from just looking at a photo of them? You couldn't.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Three, two, one, go!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Oh, no!
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- How did you feel giving that red, JoJo?- Horrible!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12One, two, three, go!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Wahey! How did you feel giving me a red? Did you feel mean?- No.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- All right, thank you very much. - I like you. I like you a lot.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- You'll survive.- Of course I will. - You're good. I like you.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- You ready, JoJo? - No! I don't like it!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- It makes me uncomfortable. It's not real, is it?- Go!
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Ah!- Yeah! OK, so we have a match.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36No offence, but I did feel a little bit more pressure to go with green
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- because you're here.- A-huh.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41- And I'm not going to go, "er...no, thanks."- Yeah, exactly.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- I wouldn't want to offend you just because I didn't like you.- Exactly.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Even though we literally know nothing about each other.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I can't even remember what you said your name was.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50- Johnny.- Johnny. Hiya. Nothing.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Cheers, mate. Well played, well played. Well played, bruv.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I think this has kind of shown the truth about app dating, don't you?
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Yeah.- It's brutal!
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- It's horrible.- Absolutely brutal. - It's nasty, it's creepy.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Slow down a bit, I've only got little legs!
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- You've got a big heart, though. - Aah!- Wahey!
0:24:10 > 0:24:12'Our experiment had been an eye-opener,
0:24:12 > 0:24:14'but I needed to get back to my mission,
0:24:14 > 0:24:15'to date as many girls as I could
0:24:15 > 0:24:18'to find out how the dating game is changing.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22'I decided to bin the apps and go old school.'
0:24:22 > 0:24:27I've met Sophie once, very briefly. I've seen pictures of her and stuff.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I think she's quite hot. Um...
0:24:29 > 0:24:32I don't know if she's The One, but I guess you never know
0:24:32 > 0:24:35if someone's The One until you go on a date with them.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Take the lid off and you can pour it all in
0:24:38 > 0:24:39and you can drink it straightaway.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Do you know what, babe, you're smoking!
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- 'Yeah, I really did say that.' - Why was it smoking, though?
0:24:46 > 0:24:47A process called sublimation.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Sublimation is when something goes from solid to a gas without going into a liquid.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Boom!- Boom!- States of matter. - Boom! States of matter!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- Is that the science in it? - That's the science.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00'Wow! My old chemistry teacher would've been well impressed!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02'I'm not sure Sophie was, though.'
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Do you know how to use chopsticks? - No.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Come on, let's see how you're going to use chopsticks.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I thought they were straws!
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- You thought the chopsticks were straws?- Yeah.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15This date was going to be fun. I could just tell.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18With my science chat failing to impress, there was
0:25:18 > 0:25:19only one thing left to do.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Ride a mechanical bull.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Trust me, this works.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Honestly, you'll see.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Told you. The bull gets them every time.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I was heading home but having gone on only two dates,
0:25:36 > 0:25:38it was time to get serious.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I'd read Nottingham has the most single girls in the UK.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Where better?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45I decided to see just how many dates I could fit into a single day.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48It could only mean one thing. Dating montage.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Nice to meet you.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01I was so nervous this morning, I threw up.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02I was so nervous!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- Nice to meet you.- Amelie?- Emily.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10# Got myself a brand-new girlfriend.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12# So many messages to send
0:26:12 > 0:26:15# Got myself a brand-new girlfriend... #
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- Early?- Yeah.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Ooh, I need to go. I'm joking.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- See you later. How's it going? - Nice to meet you.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I'm Tyger.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34- I've had a good time. - Yes, me too.- I'm Tyger.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- I actually bloody did it.- What?!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49- Girls are better drivers.- Yeah(!)
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- I'm Tyger, nice to meet you. - I'm Alice.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Whoo-hoo! That was good. High-five.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I'm so happy I got a hole-in-one.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- See you later.- Bye!
0:27:12 > 0:27:17I'm dated out, to be honest. I've had a lot of fun but...
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Meeting that many people to find the one is really quite exhausting.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27The next morning, my day of extreme dating had left me
0:27:27 > 0:27:29feeling a bit deflated.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32It reminded me of an all-you-can-eat buffet - you stuff your face
0:27:32 > 0:27:35but you never really feel satisfied.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40It seemed the more connections I had, the less connected I felt
0:27:40 > 0:27:42and it wasn't just me.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43According to recent research,
0:27:43 > 0:27:46us Brits are the most prolific online daters in Europe.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48But amazingly, the least confident.
0:27:48 > 0:27:53Going up and talking to a girl is really awkward. I can't...
0:27:53 > 0:27:55I really find it hard to do it.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59It's much easier to talk to someone from behind the screen than face-to-face.
0:27:59 > 0:28:04Your social skills when you see people in the flesh tend to diminish, is that the right word?
0:28:04 > 0:28:07People don't speak to each other any more.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10But there is a way to learn the skills that technology has taken away.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Thanks to a global community of mentors,
0:28:12 > 0:28:15millions of men looking for the relationships are learning to ditch
0:28:15 > 0:28:20their fears and discover the secrets of approaching women face-to-face.
0:28:21 > 0:28:26So, on a Friday night I invited Chris on a crash course to learn the lost art of seduction.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Butterflies mixed with excitement.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Sort of like a driving test feeling.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Our dating coach for the evening was Kingy.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35I'm looking for you guys to be positive,
0:28:35 > 0:28:39open-minded and a willingness to approach as well.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42As a warm up exercise,
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Kingy asked us to write down the three things we look for in a girlfriend.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Thoughtfulness is a big one for me.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50And open and honest and laid-back approach to life
0:28:50 > 0:28:52and issues in general.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55Tyger, what do you look for in a girl, personality wise?
0:28:55 > 0:28:59Um... I think intelligence,
0:28:59 > 0:29:02sense of humour
0:29:02 > 0:29:06and slight self...defecation.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08LAUGHTER
0:29:08 > 0:29:11- I don't think that's the word! - Deprecation!
0:29:11 > 0:29:12Self defecating? No.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15I definitely didn't mean that. Come on, Kingy, help me out here.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Give us your top tips.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21"What's the occasion tonight?" is one of my favourite openers to use.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25You can use it on girls by themselves, groups of girls...
0:29:25 > 0:29:28All right, I'll give that a go.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- SOBBING - Hey, what's the occasion?
0:29:37 > 0:29:40A high-five in conversation is a fantastic way to
0:29:40 > 0:29:43judge what the girl thinks of you.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Because when you high-five the girl you can judge how hard
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- she high-fives you back. - Seems fair.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52High-five! Ow!
0:29:52 > 0:29:53I think she likes me.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56I was starting to have my doubts about Kingy's advice
0:29:56 > 0:29:58but I was there for Chris and he was taking it all in.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Do you think you're going to pull tonight then?
0:30:00 > 0:30:03With all these new tips you've got.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05I'll give it a go.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07For him, tonight was a genuine first step
0:30:07 > 0:30:10away from the comfort of his online world
0:30:10 > 0:30:13and a possible step towards the relationship he's always wanted.
0:30:13 > 0:30:18- Tell me how you're really feeling. - Vulnerable.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21I'm going to do something that I'm not very good at with people
0:30:21 > 0:30:23that are very good at it...
0:30:25 > 0:30:28..and it scares me, to be honest. And...
0:30:30 > 0:30:33..I do feel a bit exposed, to be fair.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Over the next couple of hours, all of Kingy's students try to
0:30:41 > 0:30:44put in practice everything they've learnt.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Whilst at first both Chris and I struggle to find our feet...
0:30:51 > 0:30:54I eventually found my group.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57But whilst I was making progress with one girl at the bar,
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Chris was having no luck at all.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02It was time for a pep talk from Kingy.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22That was his advice?! Talk to girls about amazing chairs.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24As Chris got back in the game,
0:31:24 > 0:31:26he approached one girl on the dance floor...
0:31:28 > 0:31:31But only moments later she moved away to rejoin her friends.
0:31:33 > 0:31:38It was at this point that Chris decided he'd had enough. Does it knock your confidence?
0:31:38 > 0:31:43Yeah, it's sort of like... What am I doing wrong? What's...
0:31:43 > 0:31:47Maybe I'm not doing it right and then, you know, it's a
0:31:47 > 0:31:49downward spiral of negativity.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52I think about everything I could have said or done and over analyse it
0:31:52 > 0:31:56and then probably kick myself even more for missing those opportunities
0:31:56 > 0:32:01that reflecting back on were quite clear things to do at the time.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04I just need to pick myself up a bit.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08Remember, man, one of the rules is positivity. It's a learning curve.
0:32:08 > 0:32:13- Exactly.- I have to find that smile I was wearing earlier on.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Give us that smile.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19It's not the same, is it?!
0:32:19 > 0:32:21I felt bad.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Instead of building Chris's confidence, the night
0:32:23 > 0:32:26had the opposite effect. I felt I'd really let him down.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29Watching Chris struggle with girls made me
0:32:29 > 0:32:31think about my own romantic life.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33Whilst he was desperate to find and commit to one girl,
0:32:33 > 0:32:37I was still hesitant to say a definite yes to anyone.
0:32:38 > 0:32:43So, when I agreed to a blind date with Hannah I assumed it might just be a bit of fun.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45How's it going? Nice to meet you.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47'Well, that's what I thought, anyway.'
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Would you like a drink?
0:32:49 > 0:32:56Yes, I would actually. I was thinking of getting the Burning Desire.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00It's quite fruity. Thank you.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01Cheers.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03What's your dating history like?
0:33:03 > 0:33:08I did have long-term boyfriends until I moved to London.
0:33:08 > 0:33:12There's a lot of men playing the field, not interested in proper
0:33:12 > 0:33:15relationships or after different things. They want someone for tonight.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19And I want someone for tomorrow!
0:33:19 > 0:33:21'Although I admired Hannah's honesty,
0:33:21 > 0:33:24'I had a sinking feeling that I was one of those guys.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28'Cue a little self-justification.'
0:33:28 > 0:33:30I am technically single, I feel...
0:33:30 > 0:33:32As long as I'm not really lying to anyone which
0:33:32 > 0:33:37I try my best not to do, I try my best... Um...
0:33:37 > 0:33:40That doesn't sound convincing.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43Well... Sometimes it's easier to...
0:33:46 > 0:33:50Sort of tell them what they want to hear than to... um...
0:33:52 > 0:33:55To...be brutally honest with them and probably upset them.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02The next morning, Hannah's disapproval of guys like me
0:34:02 > 0:34:04who won't commit was playing on my mind.
0:34:06 > 0:34:11Going on so many dates had got me thinking about the girl I took to Paris - Libby.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16Just the fact that we care a lot about each other and spend
0:34:16 > 0:34:19a lot of time with each other and are intimate with each other and yet
0:34:19 > 0:34:24I talk to other people, not because I'm planning on doing things
0:34:24 > 0:34:28with them or starting a relationship, I guess it's so easy
0:34:28 > 0:34:33to connect with everyone and it kind of forces us into this mindset
0:34:33 > 0:34:37of, "Is this person good enough? Surely someone else is better.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40"And it would be easy for me to find them."
0:34:40 > 0:34:44It's making us much pickier and harder to please, I guess.
0:34:46 > 0:34:50A few days later and I was surprised and more than a little impressed
0:34:50 > 0:34:53when I heard from Chris that he'd picked himself up, dusted
0:34:53 > 0:34:57himself down and was digging deep to give finding the one another go.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02Have a great conversation, get to know them,
0:35:02 > 0:35:06try to find out if they have the qualities you're looking for in a woman
0:35:06 > 0:35:08and if you can, go for an instant date.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13We were joined by another dating coach, Jordan,
0:35:13 > 0:35:16who used to be bullied just like Chris before he eventually
0:35:16 > 0:35:18found his confidence with women.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20Just seeing him, not only approaching girls
0:35:20 > 0:35:24but approaching pretty stunning girls, to be fair.
0:35:24 > 0:35:27I'm starting to see it can actually happen.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29It's not just some crazy idea.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33Inspired by his mentor, Chris jumped right in.
0:35:33 > 0:35:37- So, what are you doing in London today then?- I live here.- Do you?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39I wouldn't have pictured that.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42I was going to say, you're in pretty good shape, do you go to the gym at all?
0:35:42 > 0:35:43I do, yeah.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47- Which one... - Gymbox.- I've not heard of that one.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50It was nice chatting to you, bye.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51Oh, well...
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Once again, he'd been rejected.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56I was left feeling guilty this was going to be another blow
0:35:56 > 0:35:58to his already fragile self-confidence.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00But something had clearly shifted in Chris.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04No sooner had he struck out with one girl, he was onto another.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08I was a bit nervous, I don't normally do this that often.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12I thought you look really nice today and I wanted to say hi. I'm Chris.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Gillian.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18You don't sound from London. Are you from around here?
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- I'm from Northern Ireland.- Northern Ireland. You've come a long way.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24- What brings you to London? - Go on, Chris!
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Instead of standing in the street and that,
0:36:28 > 0:36:31do you want to grab a drink or something before you get your tuna?
0:36:31 > 0:36:36- Go on, Chris.- I've got 20 minutes. I looked for my watch but it's on my phone!
0:36:36 > 0:36:38I've got plenty of time to go and that.
0:36:38 > 0:36:43Amazingly, Chris had managed to get a date there and then.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45I was dead proud.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50After Chris's breakthrough,
0:36:50 > 0:36:52I had to get back to my own dating mission.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56But in truth I was starting to lose my enthusiasm.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00However, I'd agreed to meet Charlie who, after two years out there,
0:37:00 > 0:37:03was also disillusioned with the dating game.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- There we go. Happy with that. - Yeah, is it a good one?
0:37:08 > 0:37:11- Is it good enough for Instagram? - It will do for me. It'll be fine.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14Do you think because the pace of relationships
0:37:14 > 0:37:17is so much greater, do you think the length of relationships is shorter?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20Definitely, because there's so many opportunities
0:37:20 > 0:37:23for you to find another partner or someone with better matched
0:37:23 > 0:37:25because it's so instantaneous.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28You can be messaging six different people at one time
0:37:28 > 0:37:30and even if you're in a relationship, you might find
0:37:30 > 0:37:34someone you are better suited to and want to call it off quicker than
0:37:34 > 0:37:39you would have done if you weren't so heavily handed with technology.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42Because you've got so many options and opportunities to explore
0:37:42 > 0:37:45the options it almost seems nonsensical to settle down with
0:37:45 > 0:37:48one person when there are five other people you think you quite like.
0:37:48 > 0:37:52And it does make you go through a cycle a lot quicker
0:37:52 > 0:37:56because you can do so many things in such a short period
0:37:56 > 0:37:58and there's no need to wait for anything.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00You don't have to wait for anything.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02I think that's been really interesting
0:38:02 > 0:38:05because being a guy, I have a guy's mind and guy's experiences
0:38:05 > 0:38:09so talking to a girl about it, I've learned quite a lot.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12- I've had a very nice time.- Me too. - Shall we head that way?
0:38:12 > 0:38:15Yeah, let's go.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18- So, are you going home now? - Yeah, off home.
0:38:18 > 0:38:23- Home to the warm to curl up in my bed!- Do you have a double bed?
0:38:23 > 0:38:25No, I recently broke my double bed,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27which sounds a lot more interesting than it is!
0:38:27 > 0:38:28Charlie was right.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Our culture of endless options doesn't just impact dating.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34It's having an effect on relationships too.
0:38:36 > 0:38:37I'd started to wonder
0:38:37 > 0:38:41if it was even possible to commit to just one person these days.
0:38:41 > 0:38:45- How's it going, I'm Tyger.- Sam. Nice to meet you. Becky. - Nice to meet you.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47Hello.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50I'd travelled to Bedfordshire to meet a young couple who were
0:38:50 > 0:38:53preparing to test the boundaries of their own relationship.
0:38:54 > 0:38:5723-year-old Becky and 22-year-old Sam
0:38:57 > 0:39:00have been a couple for just over a year.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02That night, Becky would be off to a party
0:39:02 > 0:39:06and it's fair to say it wasn't your average party.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08So, what is it you're going to tonight?
0:39:08 > 0:39:11It is a private members party in a penthouse.
0:39:11 > 0:39:16It's just for bi-curious girls to chat
0:39:16 > 0:39:20- and be with the same type of people. - Are you bi-curious then?
0:39:20 > 0:39:25I think most women have an extent of curiosity to the other sex
0:39:25 > 0:39:30whether it is just snogging or something more, so I don't know.
0:39:30 > 0:39:35I've snogged girls but I haven't gone any further
0:39:35 > 0:39:38but I don't know whether I want to go any further.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41But tonight is going to be quite nice to see what it's like.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43It sounds like a nice party as well.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46Would you consider that, both of you consider that, one of you
0:39:46 > 0:39:48or none of you consider that cheating?
0:39:48 > 0:39:51If it's the same sex, I don't count it as cheating
0:39:51 > 0:39:54because I am predominantly straight.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58I'm always going to go back to a man it's literally to see what it feels like.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02- And do you think it's cheating? - Er...
0:40:02 > 0:40:04I did.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07If you're in a monogamous relationship, I do think
0:40:07 > 0:40:11you need to stay monogamous
0:40:11 > 0:40:13but if I have to compromise...
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Becky has to compromise on the fact
0:40:15 > 0:40:19if she wants to mess around with women, I've got to get something
0:40:19 > 0:40:23out of it too, whether a threesome or I get to sleep with other women.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25I've got no interest in other women.
0:40:25 > 0:40:30If at any point I'm uncomfortable with it then we address it
0:40:30 > 0:40:32and we take it forward from there.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35I don't want to stop Becky doing something she wants to do.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39Would you consider it cheating if Sam was to sleep with another woman?
0:40:39 > 0:40:44Yeah. Because he's straight and he likes women and he's going off with
0:40:44 > 0:40:50another woman which has always been seen as cheating, unless you
0:40:50 > 0:40:53have an agreement that you are in a three-way love triangle.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56The reason we've got this far is because I'm ridiculously open.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58The reason I'm talking to you today is
0:40:58 > 0:41:01because I'm ridiculously open
0:41:01 > 0:41:03and I don't really mind who hears it.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07I haven't told my parents yet but I am going to have to. Sorry, Mum!
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Becky and Sam's honesty about their relationship had left me
0:41:13 > 0:41:17wondering if I was quite so open-minded myself.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20I don't think I could be in a polyamorous relationship.
0:41:20 > 0:41:26I would be far too jealous of anyone doing anything
0:41:26 > 0:41:30with my girlfriend and I'd feel it would be like cheating
0:41:30 > 0:41:34and I guess in an ideal world I would like to be doing stuff
0:41:34 > 0:41:38with lots of people at the same time in an open relationship but I
0:41:38 > 0:41:41think that demeans everything you're doing with each one of them.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44I just don't think I'm the type of guy who could handle
0:41:44 > 0:41:45a relationship like that.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Even though it's not my thing,
0:41:47 > 0:41:50Becky's situation is becoming increasingly common.
0:41:50 > 0:41:55Female bisexuality has quadrupled in the past 20 years.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Hi. This isn't a proposition!
0:41:58 > 0:42:02That night in a London hotel, we all got ready for our very
0:42:02 > 0:42:03different nights out.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07- So are you looking forward to it? - Obviously.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Sam and I were gearing up to hit the bars of East London whilst
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Becky and her best friend Leslie were dressing up
0:42:13 > 0:42:15for an evening of girls-only fun..
0:42:17 > 0:42:19I don't know what to expect.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22I'm just going on a night out to see what it's like.
0:42:22 > 0:42:26It's not like I'm going to have sex in the toilets.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30- How do you feel about what Becky is doing tonight?- Er, nervous but...
0:42:31 > 0:42:34It is... I trust her and we've set rules.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37What are the boundaries you've set?
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Don't mess about...
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- I think I know what you mean. - It's...
0:42:43 > 0:42:45Don't do first base.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48Just don't do anything overtly sexual.
0:42:52 > 0:42:56- All right. - We don't take long to get ready!
0:42:56 > 0:42:59After Sam and Becky had said an emotional farewell,
0:42:59 > 0:43:02the girls headed off and Sam was left to ponder the unknown.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06I've got no control over it now so let it go.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10Just have a good night, forget about it, talk to some women...
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Relax. Have a drink.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17Becky and Leslie's night was taking place in a penthouse
0:43:17 > 0:43:19at a top-secret location.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23Sorry, but that's pretty much all you're allowed to see.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25Not everyone at the party was as open as Becky
0:43:25 > 0:43:27and so our filming was restricted.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31So while the girls had fun behind closed doors,
0:43:31 > 0:43:34a less-than-enthusiastic Sam and I hit the bars.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40But only minutes into our night, and Sam was already distracted.
0:43:40 > 0:43:47I keep picking up my phone out of habit and I'm looking at it and like, "Oh, no, just leave it."
0:43:47 > 0:43:51Get on with it. Yeah, but it's difficult.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58As Becky's night got into full swing...
0:44:00 > 0:44:02I slowly managed to cheer Sam up by inviting
0:44:02 > 0:44:05a group of girls to come and chat with us.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08He even made a new friend.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12I didn't think phone numbers were part of the plan.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15- Are you going to text any of these girls?- Yeah... No.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17I'm not going to text any of them
0:44:17 > 0:44:20but it's a confidence boost on the night out.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24As everyone's night came to an end, Sam and Becky were reunited.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26- How was your night? - Really good. It was awesome.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29We had burlesque, someone talking about orgasms and a woman got
0:44:29 > 0:44:33naked on a table and they were licking salt and lemon off her.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35- Lovely(!)- Did you do any of that?
0:44:35 > 0:44:36No, because it was tequila
0:44:36 > 0:44:39but if we'd stayed longer I might have got on the table.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43I like that it was tequila that put her off.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46- If it was vodka, that's cool. - No...
0:44:47 > 0:44:50So, it seemed Becky had stuck to their rules.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53What she didn't know was that exchanging phone numbers
0:44:53 > 0:44:56wasn't all Sam got up to that night.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58It's when the next one is.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02The night had opened my eyes to the fact there are many different
0:45:02 > 0:45:05types of relationships today and trying to figure out
0:45:05 > 0:45:08the rules or give them a label is almost impossible.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11However, it wasn't until my final day
0:45:11 > 0:45:14that I realised just how far this could be stretched.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16I was going on a date with Jennifer who describes
0:45:16 > 0:45:19herself as a pansexual.
0:45:19 > 0:45:22To be honest, I didn't even know what a pansexual was.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24So, where do I put it?
0:45:26 > 0:45:30So, how would you describe your own sexuality then?
0:45:30 > 0:45:33- I'm probably more pansexual. - Pansexual?
0:45:33 > 0:45:37Basically it means the gender identity of the person doesn't matter.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42You don't really give a crap, all you care is that they are human, they've got a pulse.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44They're consenting - that's what you care about.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46What's your dating history like?
0:45:48 > 0:45:52Oh, goodness! I've never been in a relationship.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55I've gone on dates but never been in a relationship.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59In terms of personal way, in terms of other stuff, it's a different story.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01How about you, what's your dating history like?
0:46:01 > 0:46:04At the moment, in a sense, I'm sort of polyamorous
0:46:04 > 0:46:06because I'm seeing a few people.
0:46:08 > 0:46:12That's more open than polyamorous. Polyamorous is multiple loves.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15It would be having lots of relationships.
0:46:16 > 0:46:19It's slightly more honest.
0:46:19 > 0:46:24I can't get my head around the fact that you don't even possibly
0:46:24 > 0:46:27- notice someone's gender. - I don't really care.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29For me, it doesn't register as a difference.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32And I don't see why I should care.
0:46:32 > 0:46:37Would that not be...kind of... weird?
0:46:37 > 0:46:40No. It's who they are.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44- They've got to be attractive but I'm not attracted to gender.- OK, so...
0:46:44 > 0:46:46'I think I've got that.'
0:46:46 > 0:46:52So, you see a human being, or a sexual human being, as a soul.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56Yeah, the key thing is honesty,
0:46:56 > 0:46:59consistency and transparency, because as humans
0:46:59 > 0:47:03we are so not monogamous and they say animals are monogamous.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06Yeah, animals aren't monogamous, swans are not monogamous,
0:47:06 > 0:47:08penguins are not monogamous...
0:47:08 > 0:47:11Yeah, tell me something I don't know.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14Wow. That was amazing. Don't worry,
0:47:14 > 0:47:17I won't tell your husband. And you!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19You were an animal!
0:47:19 > 0:47:22You guys. I love you.
0:47:22 > 0:47:27Even though meeting Jennifer was fascinating, I'll be honest.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30If I wasn't confused before, I sure was now.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33In the past, I think relationships were much more clear-cut.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36It was much easier to define what a relationship was.
0:47:36 > 0:47:41It was two people, it's a long commitment if not lifelong.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43Nowadays, you can talk to so many people at one time...
0:47:43 > 0:47:46You could not be with any of them,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49you could be with a few of them or sort of be with them.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52All these lines are very blurred.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55And it's like the rule book has been thrown out the window, really.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58It's much harder to say, "What is a relationship?"
0:47:58 > 0:48:01And I wasn't the only one finding it difficult.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04A couple of days after Becky's night of exploration,
0:48:04 > 0:48:07both she and Sam sat down to talk it out
0:48:07 > 0:48:10with sex and relationship educator Justin Hancock.
0:48:10 > 0:48:14- Where do you want to start? - Girls don't count.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18- OK.- I think there is no difference between men and women.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21You are clearly both not on the same page around this
0:48:21 > 0:48:22kind of thing, at the moment.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25The other night I told Becky I'd kissed a girl,
0:48:25 > 0:48:30and Becky instantly fell out with me on the spot and wouldn't talk to me
0:48:30 > 0:48:32for about five minutes or something,
0:48:32 > 0:48:36because the possibilities were running through her head that I'd...
0:48:36 > 0:48:40Made out with this girl for the entire night or whatever.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43I kind of felt glad because how Becky felt in those five minutes is how
0:48:43 > 0:48:46I felt for a year - a year of me thinking...
0:48:46 > 0:48:50- But did you kiss her on the lips? - Yeah, but it wasn't like...
0:48:50 > 0:48:53- You know...- You said you kissed her on the cheek!
0:48:53 > 0:48:56OK, well, I kissed her on the lips.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59- You lied to me.- Hm...
0:48:59 > 0:49:02- Sam!- What?! - You lied.
0:49:02 > 0:49:04- I didn't lie.- You did!
0:49:04 > 0:49:07You said, "I kissed her good night." Oh, it was on the cheek
0:49:07 > 0:49:10and then it was good night. Did you actually kiss her?
0:49:10 > 0:49:11Yeah, I kissed her on the lips
0:49:11 > 0:49:16but not like you know mentally kissing... it wasn't a snog.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18It was a kiss on the lips.
0:49:22 > 0:49:26- What?- Are you OK, Becky?- Yeah, fine.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33- Do you want to get a tissue or something?- You've let me down.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36I've let YOU down? After all the shit I've put up with you over this...
0:49:36 > 0:49:41If you told me the truth to start off with it wouldn't matter.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43I would have gotten over it.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48We should have spoken about it more from my end.
0:49:48 > 0:49:50WE should have spoken more.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53It's not just my fault we didn't speak about this.
0:49:53 > 0:49:57Perhaps unfairly he put you in a position on Saturday night
0:49:57 > 0:50:00that he's been feeling for the last year
0:50:00 > 0:50:04and he did that without you properly communicating it to each other,
0:50:04 > 0:50:08but even though it possibly was unfair,
0:50:08 > 0:50:13he is trying to tell you something, that this might give you
0:50:13 > 0:50:16an inkling as to how he's been feeling.
0:50:16 > 0:50:21Use the experience to inform you for the future of your relationship.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24Watching Sam and Becky try to steer their relationship to
0:50:24 > 0:50:27- a healthier place wasn't easy. - I hope that's been useful.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29- Yeah, definitely.- Really useful.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31With boundaries shifting now more than ever,
0:50:31 > 0:50:34I wondered how anybody could make a lifelong commitment work.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37With marriage between 16 and 19-year-olds having fallen
0:50:37 > 0:50:39by 95% in the last 30 years,
0:50:39 > 0:50:43it's hardly any surprise many people are asking, is marriage dead?
0:50:52 > 0:50:55Yeah, that's marriage.
0:50:56 > 0:50:58OK, that's a little dramatic.
0:50:58 > 0:51:02My parents might be separated now but they were together
0:51:02 > 0:51:04for almost 30 years, which to me is a real achievement.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08I'd started to wonder if I would ever commit to just one girl.
0:51:08 > 0:51:12When would you say is the right sort of age to settle down and...?
0:51:12 > 0:51:17- I would say probably...- How do you know when you've found the one? Do you think there is A one?
0:51:17 > 0:51:21Yeah, probably. Some people are lucky, aren't they? I don't know.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Maybe. But...
0:51:24 > 0:51:27We're all annoying, so...
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Yeah, I don't know.
0:51:30 > 0:51:34If I was being cynical, I would say just find a person...
0:51:34 > 0:51:36that least annoys you.
0:51:36 > 0:51:41But, I don't know. How do you know when you've found the one? You'll know. You'll know.
0:51:41 > 0:51:45Just because I was still unsure of the realities of lifelong
0:51:45 > 0:51:48commitment, doesn't mean that everybody is.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51I'd arrived in Norwich to meet something very rare
0:51:51 > 0:51:53and quite intriguing to me.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57A young engaged couple. Can I see the ring or the rings?
0:51:58 > 0:52:02- Not that fancy but... - They're pretty fancy.
0:52:02 > 0:52:0518-year-old Hannah and 17-year-old Kane met two years ago
0:52:05 > 0:52:07and Kane popped the question just six months later.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11What do people say when they see you've got rings on your wedding fingers?
0:52:11 > 0:52:15We get a couple of people saying, "Is that just jewellery?"
0:52:15 > 0:52:20No, it means something. People don't take it seriously at such a young age because I'm 17.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22I'm not even an "adult" yet.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26So people don't see it as always serious.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29Whereas we believe it is so it's what we believe and, yeah,
0:52:29 > 0:52:31that's all there is to it, really.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34That morning, they'd arranged to view a flat
0:52:34 > 0:52:37they hoped could be their future marital home.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39How many plug sockets are there around?
0:52:39 > 0:52:42You might laugh now but don't come crying to me
0:52:42 > 0:52:44when you've got nowhere to plug your straighteners in.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46I like these kind of cupboards.
0:52:48 > 0:52:50That's me being Phil Spencer there.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53Could you guys see yourselves here?
0:52:53 > 0:52:57- Um...- I like the house itself but not sure of the location.- Yeah.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01From here, it was off to a favourite hang-out of theirs -
0:53:01 > 0:53:03the local comic book store.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06So is this anything
0:53:06 > 0:53:09that drew you guys together, like a shared love of comics?
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- She got me into it, actually. - Yeah, you didn't read them before.
0:53:12 > 0:53:15I watched shows and she got me into the comics.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19- And you read them more than I do now.- Yeah, exactly.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21Taking over your hobbies.
0:53:21 > 0:53:24It was lovely to see how comfortable Kane and Hannah
0:53:24 > 0:53:27were around one another and I felt inspired by their commitment.
0:53:27 > 0:53:31But I wondered if they ever felt like they were missing out.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34Do not see the benefits of being able to be free
0:53:34 > 0:53:37and see who you want and sleep with who you want and...?
0:53:37 > 0:53:41I think nowadays the mindset of people sleeping around,
0:53:41 > 0:53:45one night stands is not a trend but a fashionable thing.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47"I've slept with this many girls."
0:53:47 > 0:53:50It's kind of weighed about nowadays.
0:53:50 > 0:53:54It's not always the best thing to do because I've been there,
0:53:54 > 0:53:59done that when I was younger and in the end it doesn't make you happy.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02What about you, do you think having sex with just one person
0:54:02 > 0:54:04is better, or more people, is that more fun?
0:54:04 > 0:54:07I've got someone I'm seeing at the moment.
0:54:07 > 0:54:11We have a relationship pretty much like boyfriend and girlfriend...
0:54:12 > 0:54:17But for some reason I just don't want to make that step and label it.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21It is hard when you're a girl and you're doing what you do
0:54:21 > 0:54:23to people because I've been in that situation,
0:54:23 > 0:54:26I've had exes that I found out are texting other girls
0:54:26 > 0:54:28saying all this shit to other girls,
0:54:28 > 0:54:31and it does hurt a lot because, like...
0:54:31 > 0:54:34Knocks the confidence.
0:54:34 > 0:54:38You want to be the only one they feel that way about and if
0:54:38 > 0:54:43they don't, it does knock you down a lot and makes you feel rubbish.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47I do try and decriminalise myself as much as possible in the way
0:54:47 > 0:54:51I'm not promising them anything and we're not together
0:54:51 > 0:54:53and to the point when anyone does become my girlfriend
0:54:53 > 0:54:55I would never text anyone else.
0:54:55 > 0:54:58You've just got to contemplate you might be hurting people.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00I'm not saying you can't do it because obviously
0:55:00 > 0:55:04you are not in a relationship, it doesn't matter what you do,
0:55:04 > 0:55:07but think about if you are hurting people or not.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11It does make me feel bad, the fact that
0:55:11 > 0:55:14I'm not just seeing one person.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I wish it wasn't like that.
0:55:16 > 0:55:20I wish it wasn't so complicated. I wish it was easy to find someone.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26I think meeting the one and settling down has always been pretty tough,
0:55:26 > 0:55:30but the truth is, here and now, it might be harder than it's ever been.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32Technology may have opened up the world to us
0:55:32 > 0:55:36but when it comes to love, it's almost given us too much choice.
0:55:38 > 0:55:42On my journey, I guess I found out that there were lots of times
0:55:42 > 0:55:47when it was really exciting and fun, but actually most of the time
0:55:47 > 0:55:52I just felt restless and paranoid and frankly a bit shit,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54because despite going on all these dates
0:55:54 > 0:55:58and meeting all these people, I was actually lonelier
0:55:58 > 0:56:01and feeling more disconnected than I've ever been.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06Turning 18 and becoming a grown-up is hard enough as it is
0:56:06 > 0:56:09but now the traditional rules of relationships have changed,
0:56:09 > 0:56:12it's even harder to know how you are meant to behave
0:56:12 > 0:56:13and what's OK and what's not.
0:56:13 > 0:56:17I don't really think I'm ready to settle down with the one just yet,
0:56:17 > 0:56:21but there is someone I've really missed and should probably speak to.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35MUSIC: "No You Girls" by Franz Ferdinand