0:00:02 > 0:00:05There aren't many opportunities in life when you can truly take a break
0:00:05 > 0:00:09but when those moments do crop up, whether you're alone or with others,
0:00:09 > 0:00:14there's one culinary companion that usually puts in an appearance.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16The biscuit.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20Simple, small and incredibly morish,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23there's something reliable about a biscuit.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26You see, they're always there.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Unless, of course, you eat the entire packet.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34This is my story of the British biscuit.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36I'll be exploring its earliest origins.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40This is the Victory.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Meeting biscuit aficionados.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47So this is the bit when I start to look a bit like a crazy biscuit guy.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51And putting biscuits under considerable scientific pressure.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53That is a dunking disaster.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56This is a journey charting the origins
0:00:56 > 0:00:59of a long and faded trail of biscuit crumbs.
0:00:59 > 0:01:04After all, I'm not alone in my passion for this simple baked item.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12There are 71 million packets of digestive biscuits sold every year.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16That's 52 biscuits eaten every second.
0:01:16 > 0:01:23That means 184,000 digestive biscuits will be eaten
0:01:23 > 0:01:25by the end of this programme.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Biscuits pop up everywhere in our day to day lives.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39They're not as brash or as demanding as sweets.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Instead, they work their magic by stealth.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Please tell me you've got some biscuits.- Yep.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49They sidle up alongside you when you least expect it.
0:01:49 > 0:01:54- One of those. There you are, sir. - Thank you very much.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Thank you. - Have a good day.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I love a biscuit. I can't imagine life without them.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02They're a treat, they're a little bit of sustenance,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06but more than that they signify a break in my day.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11It might be a working day, I might be doing something in the garden,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I might be at my desk or I might be on a train going somewhere.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18It's just a moment to stop and take stock.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I have my favourites - always have done ever since I was a kid.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Sometimes they're for sharing
0:02:23 > 0:02:26and other times they're all just for yourself.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I love the way they break and they crumble
0:02:28 > 0:02:31and the crumbs stick to your fingers.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34But I've often wondered who decided
0:02:34 > 0:02:37that this would be the perfect stop in the day?
0:02:41 > 0:02:45The first trail of broken biscuits are taking me out to sea
0:02:45 > 0:02:48or rather to the dry docks of Portsmouth.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51A major part of the modern biscuit's genetic past
0:02:51 > 0:02:55has a distinctly nautical flavour.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59I've got the Marine Dictionary here and I've found biscuit.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03"A sea biscuit is a sort of bread much dried to make it keep
0:03:03 > 0:03:07"for the use of the navy and is good for a whole year."
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And a biscuit to me is about fun, it's a joy to eat,
0:03:10 > 0:03:14but here it's had a much more significant role -
0:03:14 > 0:03:17it was absolutely crucial to the crew's life.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21In the late 18th century Admiral Nelson was just one
0:03:21 > 0:03:25of the many naval officers for whom the biscuit was a secret weapon
0:03:25 > 0:03:28in his control of the high seas.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Nigel, good to meet you. Welcome to Victory.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33It's an awesome, awesome place to be.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37This is where Nelson commanded Victory and the fleet from at the Battle of Trafalgar.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38That is his little plaque, isn't it?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41And that is the spot where Nelson fell, yes.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I know a little bit of the story and quite a bit of the history of it
0:03:44 > 0:03:47but I'm here for something that might seem insignificant,
0:03:47 > 0:03:49but it's not to me.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- You've got biscuits on board, haven't you?- We've got lots of biscuits on board, yes.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57As far back as Ancient Egypt,
0:03:57 > 0:04:01sailors have survived on very basic, hard-baked items.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04The word biscuit derives from two Latin words
0:04:04 > 0:04:09bis, meaning twice and coquere, which means to cook.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Over the years the word has evolved from bisquite through to biscuit,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15in other words, meaning twice baked.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17The smell of this place is extraordinary.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19How many people would be down here?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22In terms of meal times, you'd be over 600 people,
0:04:22 > 0:04:23so it's very, very cramped.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Life is hard at the time,
0:04:25 > 0:04:27so for the men on board, you have a roof over your head,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30you've got a very good diet by the standards of the day
0:04:30 > 0:04:33and it's not all rum, sodomy and the lash.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Well, I'm happy to hear that.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38And these are our ship's biscuits.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42We carry about 700,000 when we first put to sea.
0:04:42 > 0:04:4518-21 men would each be getting a pound,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48so about five of those a day every day.
0:04:48 > 0:04:5135,000 calories a week these chaps get.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54About 14,000 of those calories come from those biscuits.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57So isn't it also referred to as hard tack?
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Absolutely. Hard tack is ship's biscuits.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- They are hard.- They are hard. HAMMERING
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- So you have a couple of options for eating something like this.- Yeah.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06First thing you can do - it's the original dunker.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10You can dunk it in your drink, you can dunk it in the stew you have.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Or you can wrap it in a piece of cloth
0:05:12 > 0:05:15and basically bash it with something heavy, probably a cannonball,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18and the bit that will be eaten last is the stamped area,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21because that's the most compressed, that's the hardest.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- What's that about?- It's the crow's foot or the broad arrow
0:05:24 > 0:05:27and it basically denotes that it's government property.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31That mark of sort of ownership and authenticity, I suppose,
0:05:31 > 0:05:36I mean, to this day that appears on almost every biscuit we know,
0:05:36 > 0:05:40so really this mark is actually, I suppose, the very beginning of a trademark.
0:05:40 > 0:05:46This really is the first example of mass-produced biscuits, isn't it?
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Absolutely.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Is it really an urban myth that dunking started
0:05:50 > 0:05:52in order to get rid of the weevils in your biscuit?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Weevils are very, very small. You'd never see them.- They're tiny.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00What they're seeing is something the seamen would call bargemen,
0:06:00 > 0:06:03because this is a bread barge in which the biscuits are kept
0:06:03 > 0:06:06and it's the larva of probably the cadelle beetle,
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- something which is three quarters of an inch long...- Ugh! - ..a nice, big, black head.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14- So they flick those off and pull those out?- Well, it depends how squeamish you are.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18You pull them out, you flick them off, you bang the biscuit on the table.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21We could be here all day. it's just not going to happen is it?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Let's see if this works.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27- Mind the table. - So we've got a 32-pound cannonball.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31This is the Victory!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Oh, heavens! You haven't even made a dent in it.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37ANDREW LAUGHS
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Well, let's see if this works.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I think we might be able to break that.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Ah! You know, this is a bit like the first scone I ever baked.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59My dad threw it out on the lawn for the birds
0:06:59 > 0:07:00and it was there six months later.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Yes, we're in.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Mm, you would be seriously full after one of these.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I think it's going to sit on the stomach like a cannonball.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21With the birth of the ship's biscuit fresh in my mind,
0:07:21 > 0:07:25I'm left wondering about the first biscuit I ever tasted.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28I think that my first biscuit wasn't far away
0:07:28 > 0:07:30from the first biscuit of all, the rusk.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33And you're supposed to dip them into milk,
0:07:33 > 0:07:37just like the ship's biscuit - it's exactly the same thing - but...
0:07:40 > 0:07:45being a little contrary from an early age, I ate my rusks dry.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I'd break them up. I'd always...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Oh! Always sniff them.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54There's a milkiness there, a little sweetness.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57It's sort of like breast milk in biscuit form.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11My most abiding memories of biscuits are also tied up with travel.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14OK, perhaps not as long distance as Nelson
0:08:14 > 0:08:16but certainly long distance enough
0:08:16 > 0:08:20for a very hungry schoolboy boarding the school bus.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24All the noisy boys sat at the back, because we had transistor radios.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I used to get really cross if someone got there before me.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31But I was always the first to get on at school,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34because I lived farthest away, so I always got the corner seat.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40There wasn't much shouting, there wasn't much playing around
0:08:40 > 0:08:43but there was lots of rustling, lots of wrappers being opened,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47lots of little tuck boxes with the lids coming of.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49And when we got off the school bus, we'd be covered in crumbs,
0:08:49 > 0:08:51mostly mine.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58I'm picking up a chap who is a self-confessed biscuit expert.
0:08:58 > 0:09:04Stuart Payne, also known as Nicey, has written the only user's guide to the modern biscuit.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Hello.- Hello, Nigel. How are you? - Come and sit down.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12There's quite possibly nothing that this man doesn't know about biccies.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- You're my biscuit anorak, aren't you?- I am that man.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- I guess I do like them a lot. - It's this curious thing
0:09:19 > 0:09:23that people measure their lives in different ways.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26I mean, for some people it's the music they were listening to
0:09:26 > 0:09:28but sometimes it's what you ate.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I can remember, for instance, vividly where I was standing
0:09:31 > 0:09:34and who I was with when I learnt of the existence of the chocolate HobNob.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I can... I'm with you.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I mean, my life is a trail of crumbs.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54I can measure my life by what I was eating
0:09:54 > 0:09:55and very often it's a biscuit.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59We have a connection with these things, little baked items.
0:09:59 > 0:10:05It's always, "Oh, yeah, these used to be in our picnic basket whenever we went off for a picnic,"
0:10:05 > 0:10:07and it's all those associations
0:10:07 > 0:10:10and probably more with biccies than anything else.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14As we head down memory lane,
0:10:14 > 0:10:18our first nostalgic stop is once again with what I call
0:10:18 > 0:10:19the biscuits of sustenance,
0:10:19 > 0:10:24the rather harsh, bland biscuits of the adult world.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Ah-ha!- Ah!- Ah!
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Well, what we've got here is all the kind of plain, archetypal biscuits.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36In fact, these were the sort of biscuits
0:10:36 > 0:10:38- that actually my mum would have loved.- Yeah.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40You know when your mum said, "Do you want a biscuit?"
0:10:40 > 0:10:44and you got terribly excited and you ended up with a Rich Tea?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Exactly. Look at that - thin arrowroot.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Oh! I haven't seen a thin arrowroot for years!- Look at the writing.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52The exciting thing about a thin arrowroot is...
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- It's this font.- It's almost like it's been laser etched on.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Like you say, Nigel, all these biscuits, they're plain, round dunkers.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59As I kid, I... There we go.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03I have not seen one of those for years - a Rich Tea finger.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I didn't even know they made them.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Morning Coffee.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10This is the village hall biscuit.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14This is the biscuit that when we go to a jumble or something like that
0:11:14 > 0:11:16and they bring out a plate of biscuits,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18it would be the Morning Coffee.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21It does look boring but I love what's going on
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- with all the detail and the coffee pot. - And the coffee pot.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- Now, you see, that... - Ah! There we go.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- What are you going to call that? - Yes, well...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Because I know what I call it, I call it a "niece".
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Really? Well, I would call it a "nice".
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Why?- I think our family were just trying to be posher than they were
0:11:36 > 0:11:37and we'd heard of Nice.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Well, exactly, so Nice - place in France.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- You go down there with one of these, they won't know what you've got.- No.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49The Rich Tea is one that's particularly prone to self-destruction,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52something that happens when they bake them
0:11:52 > 0:11:54if they don't cool them down right,
0:11:54 > 0:11:56they have a tension in the biscuit that's baked into them
0:11:56 > 0:11:59and they can spontaneously crack.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04There's something that we've only discovered recently
0:12:04 > 0:12:06using the same technique
0:12:06 > 0:12:09that they used for studying the materials in fighter plane wings,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11that you can shine laser beams off and can tell that.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14But when it comes down to it, you have to watch out - they could go at any minute.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18It's difficult not to judge people on their biscuit selection
0:12:18 > 0:12:19but I always do.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I was always asking myself, why are they eating them?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Is it because they have to?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Is there some special reason, you know,
0:12:25 > 0:12:27a medical reason or what have you,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30they can't have anything too exciting or stimulating?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32They can't have anything too stimulating.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34There's a lot of bells and whistles going on in the biscuit world
0:12:34 > 0:12:37and you wonder sometimes whether there is any future
0:12:37 > 0:12:40for things like all these lovely little plain digestives
0:12:40 > 0:12:42and yet they're still there.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48- Ah, yes! - Now we're onto the serious stuff.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53The boss of all the round and brown biscuits is the digestive.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56You always need to give your biscuit, especially a digestive,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59a tap on the side of your biscuit tin to check for structural integrity.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03It's quite a frugal smell. There's nothing extravagant about it.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05It's not creamy, it's not too sweet.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06This smells like my guinea pig's cage.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Yep, that's a common thing with biscuits,
0:13:09 > 0:13:14- that kind of pet shop... - Yeah. Ambience. - I've often said that.- Hamsters.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Wine tasters will talk of gun flint
0:13:16 > 0:13:20and pet shop is a sort of phrase that you would use in biscuit tasting
0:13:20 > 0:13:25to be evocative of that kind of strange, damp, wheaty smell.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28When I used to go and buy straw, this is what this smells like.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I've met people who smell of digestive biscuits, you know what I mean?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Yes, I do know what you mean.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42When I was a kid and the biscuit tin came out,
0:13:42 > 0:13:46I dreaded getting to the bottom of it,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49knowing what would be left were the plain biscuits,
0:13:49 > 0:13:52the ones that your auntie ate,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56the ones that had no cream, no chocolate, no fondant icing, no fun.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Sometimes they had sugar on top,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01sometimes they had little bobbles like a bath mat,
0:14:01 > 0:14:02but they were so boring.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04They were what I call prison biscuits.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07And then I think there comes a point, a sort of coming of age,
0:14:07 > 0:14:09when you sort of understand the plain biscuit.
0:14:09 > 0:14:14It has its own charm, it's just something that comes with age,
0:14:14 > 0:14:19the idea that you can eat something as a treat that isn't ostentatious.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22It probably means I'm getting on a bit.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26There's no frills to any of these biscuits,
0:14:26 > 0:14:28which is why my auntie always gave them frills.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32She would always bring them out on a plate with a doyley.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I suppose she felt she had to dress them up.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42So we know the earliest biscuit eaters were burly seamen
0:14:42 > 0:14:46eating biscuits that were all about sustenance rather than indulgence.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50But how did things develop from the backbreaking work
0:14:50 > 0:14:53of men making hundreds of thousands of ship's biscuits
0:14:53 > 0:14:55into the sweeter biscuits that we all know and love today?
0:14:58 > 0:15:02I'm in Cumbria to meet biscuit historian Ivan Day.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06So in what way does things like the ship's biscuits,
0:15:06 > 0:15:09how are they a sort of precursor to the modern biscuit?
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Small biscuit bakers in towns all over Britain existed
0:15:13 > 0:15:17but the other side of it, not just bakers but confectioners,
0:15:17 > 0:15:19they also made biscuit
0:15:19 > 0:15:22and these were the upmarket luxury ones
0:15:22 > 0:15:27that were aimed really at the aristocracy, the nobility and the gentry.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33The biscuits that we've been looking at are very austere.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36They're more about sustenance, really.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41But these look very different. These look so elegant.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Well, yes, elegant's the right word
0:15:44 > 0:15:46because these are biscuits from the 18th century,
0:15:46 > 0:15:50which is the period of Josiah Wedgwood and Chippendale.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Sugar was very much the expensive preserve of the rich.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00Sweet confectionery and elaborate, fancified biscuits emerged
0:16:00 > 0:16:04out of the recipe books and the kitchens of the rich and famous.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Dining was a kind of table theatre
0:16:09 > 0:16:10and this is just one of the performers, really,
0:16:10 > 0:16:16in what is an incredibly structured ending to the meal.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17It's the finale of the meal.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I can see in a way
0:16:20 > 0:16:23that some of these were the precursors of modern commercial biscuits.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28- I mean, I'm seeing a Jammie Dodger here, possibly a Garibaldi...- Yeah.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31These are like little fig rolls without the figs
0:16:31 > 0:16:35and this lumpiness, the way we like a very textured, oaty biscuit nowadays.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40This is almost like an early family assorted biscuit tin.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Yeah, that's what I say - a Georgian assortment.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44A Georgian assortment.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46What were the working classes eating?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Certainly not fancy biscuits like this.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54The working classes might be having things like tops and bottoms and rusks,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- which they could buy from ordinary bakers.- Tops and bottoms?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00It just has flour in it, no sugar.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Parliaments was another thing, which was a gingerbread.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06But these are things you would find in, you know,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08the Duke of Wellington's dining room.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Once sugar reached a broader public it was only a matter of time
0:17:13 > 0:17:18before a handful of artisan bakers and biscuit makers found ways
0:17:18 > 0:17:20to combine the industrial scale of the ship's biscuit
0:17:20 > 0:17:25with the fancier, sweeter tastes of the Georgian toffs.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Using the tools of the period and some excess pastry,
0:17:30 > 0:17:37Ivan is keen to showcase the joys of Georgian and Regency biscuit printing techniques,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39a world of great craftsmanship.
0:17:39 > 0:17:45The artisan biscuit maker in the past was really serviced
0:17:45 > 0:17:48by an extraordinary skill base of people
0:17:48 > 0:17:50woodcarvers and metalworkers,
0:17:50 > 0:17:52who provided them with these tools.
0:17:54 > 0:17:59- This is the...- The William one? - Yeah, Sailor Bill, as he was called.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Finish them off. The ones you'd do is the round one, actually.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06The Royal Volunteer biscuit.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Is that a biscuit of beauty?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Ah, look at that. Beautiful!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Like prehistoric fossils,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22it really doesn't require a huge amount of imagination
0:18:22 > 0:18:23to see in these elaborate prints
0:18:23 > 0:18:27the future designs and patterns of everyday biscuits,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30such as malted milks and custard creams.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34But the biscuits of our wealthy ancestors weren't just about physical appearance.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38The entire process was an altogether sensory one, too.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Imagine a little walnut biscuit baked from this mould,
0:18:42 > 0:18:44a little, crisp shell put against another one
0:18:44 > 0:18:50and then you break them and inside you've got a little biscuit walnut.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54I can't imagine anything more endearing, more charming,
0:18:54 > 0:18:57that you could put on a plate with a cup of tea.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04ARCHIVE: Now we come to that great hive of industry
0:19:04 > 0:19:06on the banks of Father Thames at Reading,
0:19:06 > 0:19:08the huge factory of Huntley and Palmers.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11From as early as 1830,
0:19:11 > 0:19:16a number of artisan biscuit makers riding the crest of the industrial revolution
0:19:16 > 0:19:18took the inevitable next step
0:19:18 > 0:19:21towards the mass manufacture of sweet biscuits
0:19:21 > 0:19:23for a much broader public.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26It was a chance encounter between George Palmer,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29who ran an artisan biscuit shop in Reading,
0:19:29 > 0:19:33and Thomas Huntley, who had developed the machinery to modernise biscuit production,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36that gave birth to the company.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Very soon, our shapeless mess of dough emerges from rollers
0:19:39 > 0:19:40in the form of a rich carpet.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Once again through rollers
0:19:42 > 0:19:45and it slides forward towards the machine that will shape its future.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Within a very short amount of time,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Huntley and Palmers' biscuits were being bought and sold
0:19:51 > 0:19:53as far away as India and China.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56By the late 19th century,
0:19:56 > 0:20:00they'd become the biggest biscuit manufacturer in the world.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03It's the inside man's job to pack the biscuits neatly in the tank.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Those on the outside can't see what's going on inside,
0:20:05 > 0:20:10hence the job usually goes to a thin boy who doesn't like biscuits.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Since industrial biscuit making began,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16whether the manufacturers were making Garibaldis, bourbons
0:20:16 > 0:20:20or digestives, firms have always guarded their recipes.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24At Reading University, I'm meeting an archivist
0:20:24 > 0:20:27to view a very rare artefact.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29This in fact is one of the recipe books.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Oh! What?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34So we can actually see what was going into the biscuits.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Can I touch it? - Yeah, of course.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43New milk and butter milk, sugar number one,
0:20:43 > 0:20:46butter and flour, lunch flour.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Now the Marie, now this is the Marie biscuit.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52The Marie biscuit is flour, butter, sugar, condensed milk.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55They're almost slightly experimental,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57the fact that they're not cast in stone,
0:20:57 > 0:20:59they're sort of changing them.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03The thin arrowroot. So this is the recipe of the thin arrowroot,
0:21:03 > 0:21:07the biscuit that my mum loved almost beyond all others -
0:21:07 > 0:21:09delicate biscuits.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14So a little bit of time, just me and the original recipe book -
0:21:14 > 0:21:17well, under the beady eye of Alfred Palmer.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21But this is the little book. This is where they're all written down
0:21:21 > 0:21:23in beautiful copperplate
0:21:23 > 0:21:25and to think that this is where it all began
0:21:25 > 0:21:28the arrowroot, the Marie, the Garibaldi with its little currants,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30and biscuits I've never heard of,
0:21:30 > 0:21:32biscuits I can sort of only dream about.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I wish I could taste some of these biscuits.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Biscuits that are just lost, gone forever.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42And it's not just the biscuits that have been lost.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45All of the major manufacturers quite quickly established
0:21:45 > 0:21:50that most ubiquitous of containers, the biscuit tin, as a household necessity.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55All is not right in the world of the biscuit tin.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57It's not tin any more.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01You don't get that wonderful little tinny drumming sound with your fingernails.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03There aren't the remains of Sellotape round the edge -
0:22:03 > 0:22:08slowly you peel them off as the tin gets older.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10I was always secretly trying to get the top off
0:22:10 > 0:22:12without anybody hearing in the next room
0:22:12 > 0:22:14and then the joy of the second layer,
0:22:14 > 0:22:21of going down and finding that there's more treasure to be had underneath.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23If you were really clever you could pinch one.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27You wouldn't want it in the garage with nuts and bolts and screwdrivers in.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29You wouldn't even keep the dog's lead in it
0:22:29 > 0:22:33and those keys that you don't know what they're for but you don't want to throw away.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35That's what biscuit tins are for after the biscuits.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Originally designed for transporting biscuits safely to distant customers
0:22:45 > 0:22:49and for shopkeepers to refill with loose biscuits,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52over time the biscuit tin was transformed
0:22:52 > 0:22:56from an object of utility into something much more creative.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02Very few of the Huntley and Palmer biscuits themselves remain
0:23:02 > 0:23:04because they were delicious, they've all been eaten.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09But the tins themselves do remain and they were a permanent gift.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12It really was used as a marketing technique
0:23:12 > 0:23:15and they would often create tins that would appeal to young children.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20Imagine getting that in your Christmas stocking and putting that on the table.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24That's a tin from Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee
0:23:24 > 0:23:26and she was known to take Osborne biscuits.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Of course, she would enjoy an Osborne
0:23:29 > 0:23:32and I can't imagine her tucking into a Jammie Dodger or a custard cream.
0:23:32 > 0:23:37Here at the Reading Museum, there's one tin from the 1980s
0:23:37 > 0:23:40that took the notion of creativity to an entirely different level.
0:23:41 > 0:23:46What's going on there behind that little wall by the tree on the right hand side?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Well, this tin had to be taken out of circulation
0:23:50 > 0:23:53when Associated Biscuits, who owned the company, realised
0:23:53 > 0:23:58that a couple of things had been introduced into the design that were quite shocking.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02On the table you can see a jam jar,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04It hasn't got the word jam written on it.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- The designer's written the word "shit" on there.- Oh, bless!
0:24:09 > 0:24:14And over in the corner there, there's two dogs procreating.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Oh, how fantastic. Shit and shagging dogs, I love it.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23And in the far distance, we have two young lovers doing the same thing.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I mean, Auntie handing them to the shocked vicar.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28"Do have some biscuits with your tea."
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I mean you would, wouldn't you, if you could?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32I mean, you would.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39Did you ever see such nimble fingers? She needs them too, to cope with a rush like this.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41The general expansion of the biscuit industry in Britain
0:24:41 > 0:24:45was inextricably entwined with the growth of rail travel.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50Other companies, such as Peek Freans in South London and Carr's of Carlisle,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52all became market leaders
0:24:52 > 0:24:56due to their close proximity to the railway lines,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00a fast and efficient way of getting salesmen around the country.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03So the representative would carry that around with him,
0:25:03 > 0:25:06lots of little tins of biscuits, all hinged.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08It's a doctor's case for biscuits.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Imagine carrying that!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11You are this guy who's walking around
0:25:11 > 0:25:14and it's not cleaning things, it's biscuits.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17People would welcome you, wouldn't they?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Brendan has a few final treats to show me,
0:25:20 > 0:25:23hidden deep within Reading Museum's vaults.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Those are the tins. That's how my biscuit life started.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Percy Salt the grocer in Wolverhampton used to have those
0:25:30 > 0:25:33and at the bottom there used to be broken ones.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36The factory workers would get a pound of broken biscuits on a Friday.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39The cry would go out, "Where's my broken?"
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Biscuits became such a part of British culinary life
0:25:44 > 0:25:48that the factory had its own celebrity visitors.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- Oh, there!- There he is, there. - There he is.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55"Oscar Wilde, poet."
0:25:55 > 0:25:57But it's interesting, because someone has come along
0:25:57 > 0:26:01and introduced these three question marks in rather blunt handwriting.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I wonder when that was done.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06And even letters of complaint reached the factory
0:26:06 > 0:26:09from as far afield as the South Pole.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- Scott of the Antarctic. - Captain Scott.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18"We find on opening on the tins of Antarctic emergency biscuits
0:26:18 > 0:26:21"that the biscuits are considerably cracked and broken
0:26:21 > 0:26:26"but I think also that some change has taken place which makes them more brittle.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30"The breaking of the biscuit is not really a serious drawback
0:26:30 > 0:26:32"but the point might have your attention
0:26:32 > 0:26:35"in case it's possible to avoid it."
0:26:35 > 0:26:38I think he was lucky to get his biscuits, frankly.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44And during the Great War they functioned as emotional keepsakes.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47It's a First World War army biscuit
0:26:47 > 0:26:50and it's one of those that has been fashioned into a picture frame
0:26:50 > 0:26:55containing a soldier's portrait that was sent home to his mother.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Oh!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- Very, very special.- Yeah.
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Whilst Scott and his men's lives depended on Huntley and Palmers' supplies,
0:27:17 > 0:27:22in no small way my early childhood utterly depended on a survival pack
0:27:22 > 0:27:25that was of equal importance to me.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27One of the best bits of my childhood
0:27:27 > 0:27:32was not my Christmas stocking or my birthday presents,
0:27:32 > 0:27:33it was the lunchbox,
0:27:33 > 0:27:37that little box that I would take on trips, picnics, on the school bus
0:27:37 > 0:27:43and I'd take the lid off and I never knew quite what was going to be inside it.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45There'd be jam sandwiches, a banana...
0:27:45 > 0:27:48I don't like the smell of bananas in lunchboxes.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50But there'd always be a biscuit.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52In fact, there'd always be more than one biscuit.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54They were the biscuits of my childhood.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57And as much as I envied the adult biscuits,
0:27:57 > 0:27:59there were ones that I felt were mine,
0:27:59 > 0:28:01biscuits I could really have fun with,
0:28:01 > 0:28:06like chocolate Bourbon biscuits, custard creams, Penguins -
0:28:06 > 0:28:09something that was more than just a biscuit.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11It had layers.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14And it was that moment of hope as you peel off the lid
0:28:14 > 0:28:17and you think, "What's going to be in it today?"
0:28:17 > 0:28:18"What is that extra treat?"
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Sometimes it'd be a little handful of iced gems,
0:28:21 > 0:28:24the ones you bite the icing off and then you're left with a boring, little biscuit.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Sometimes it'd be a salty Ritz cracker - I'd never know.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31And that was part of the fun, part of the joy of my childhood lunchboxes.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35I never quite knew what was going to be in there.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36But I had hopes.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Like greedy time travellers,
0:28:49 > 0:28:54Nicey and I are moving on to those biscuits we indulged in as young boys.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58See, this is how you can make your biscuits more exciting.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00- They've got a malted milk and a sports biscuit.- Oh, yeah.
0:29:00 > 0:29:05So what we're doing now is we're embossing it with exciting figures of cows
0:29:05 > 0:29:08and as a child my approach to that, immediately, without hesitation,
0:29:08 > 0:29:11would be to nibble the cow out. NIGEL LAUGHS
0:29:11 > 0:29:13I remember thinking as a child,
0:29:13 > 0:29:16wouldn't it be brilliant if you could get a reverse malted milk
0:29:16 > 0:29:19that was like a mirror image, nibble both cows out,
0:29:19 > 0:29:23stick them back to back - you'd have an entire 3D biscuity cow.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25Starting to worry me a little.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28MOOING
0:29:28 > 0:29:30After a while, the biscuit guys decided
0:29:30 > 0:29:32that what you can do is get two biscuits,
0:29:32 > 0:29:34put them back to back and put something up the middle
0:29:34 > 0:29:38and here is the archetypal sandwich biscuit, which is the custard cream.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41One of the world's great ideas.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43And the fabulous thing about it is you've got custard
0:29:43 > 0:29:47and so to have a biscuit that should be filled with custard...
0:29:47 > 0:29:50It isn't. That's something that I...
0:29:50 > 0:29:53- Probably you've come to terms with, I don't know.- Just about, yes.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56And it's one of these utterly timeless biscuits.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59Custard creams. Really, they were Mum's biscuits.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03- Got a squashed fly biscuit? - A Garibaldi.- A Garibaldi.- Garibaldi.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05It's almost like an Airfix kit of a biscuit,
0:30:05 > 0:30:07that you get this big slab of Garibaldi,
0:30:07 > 0:30:09which you then break into individual Garibaldis.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13- There's something about the way it breaks. - Yes.- It's a very soft break.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17That is an exciting biscuit right there.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19The ginger nut, the middle is all calm
0:30:19 > 0:30:23and then outside here, can you see how that's all broken away
0:30:23 > 0:30:24as the ginger nut's expanded?
0:30:24 > 0:30:27It's like looking at an alien world, isn't it?
0:30:27 > 0:30:29They find moons round Jupiter and they're all like,
0:30:29 > 0:30:31"It's got a line like that little round bit."
0:30:31 > 0:30:33I think it's the same with ginger nuts.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36Each one has got its own story to tell
0:30:36 > 0:30:39about how it was formed and how it came to life.
0:30:39 > 0:30:40There you go, Nigel,
0:30:40 > 0:30:43There's your other archetypal cream biscuit, it's the Bourbon.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45- Hadn't they used to have more sugar on?- Yeah
0:30:45 > 0:30:48but what we're always looking for in the Bourbon is ten holes.
0:30:48 > 0:30:52I've got my tape measure, because a Bourbon should be 63...
0:30:52 > 0:30:5762 cm... 62 mm is what we like in a Bourbon.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59- You are measuring a Bourbon. - Yeah.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05And also that thing of running your teeth down the cream.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08- I know I did - wasn't supposed to. - Yeah.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10That's what your top two front teeth are,
0:31:10 > 0:31:12for leaving tracks in biscuit cream.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16- I can't believe I've met somebody who knows how many holes there are in a Bourbon.- Ten.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26There's a lot of memories in a biscuit for me.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31The lemon puff was originally my dad's biscuit
0:31:31 > 0:31:36and this was the biscuit that my dad would take up to his greenhouse with a cup of coffee
0:31:36 > 0:31:38and he'd do whatever men do in their greenhouses
0:31:38 > 0:31:41with their tomato plants and orchids and what have you
0:31:41 > 0:31:44but he'd have a couple of these.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46And then there's the pink wafer.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49This was the biscuit that was always left in the biscuit tin
0:31:49 > 0:31:50when all the others had gone
0:31:50 > 0:31:52and it was like a sad biscuit,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55it was the one that nobody wanted and I certainly didn't.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57But my mum loved them.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01There's something quite vulnerable and frail about the pink wafer.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04It's a very gentle biscuit, very tender.
0:32:04 > 0:32:10It has a sort of feminine charm to it. It's really rather lovely.
0:32:12 > 0:32:13And it was Mum's biscuit.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19- I'll have some biscuits, too. - Dry or sweet?
0:32:19 > 0:32:22Now, no discussion of biscuits could be complete
0:32:22 > 0:32:25without the savoury biscuit, the cracker.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29That's the biscuit I used to take to bed when I was kid,
0:32:29 > 0:32:34a square cream cracker spread with lots of salty butter.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38To this day, if I'm not very well it'll be that that I'll turn to.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40All these biscuits have a personality.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43I mean literally - who was Dr Oliver?
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Who was Mr Jacob?
0:32:48 > 0:32:51And who were the Carrs?
0:32:54 > 0:32:58Most of the leading biscuit firms in Britain were run by Quakers.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01It therefore seems right that the most ardent Quaker firms
0:33:01 > 0:33:04were making the more abstemious biscuits.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06One such company was Carr's of Carlisle,
0:33:06 > 0:33:11a firm that brought Quaker values to bear on every part of their business.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14I've caught up with the Beatles' biographer Hunter Davies,
0:33:14 > 0:33:17who's writing a book about the firm's history.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Jonathan Dodgson Carr was a Quaker.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22He was tough but he was very benevolent -
0:33:22 > 0:33:24he tried to look after the workers.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28This is an apprentice at Carr's in 1849
0:33:28 > 0:33:31and in this contract, amongst other things, it says
0:33:31 > 0:33:36that, "he shall not commit fornication
0:33:36 > 0:33:39"nor contract matrimony within the said term,
0:33:39 > 0:33:44"shall not play at cards or dice tables or any other unlawful games."
0:33:44 > 0:33:48That's almost like a footballer's contract today.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50- Well, except for... - Apart from the fornication.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54And the whole point with Quaker firms is that you think really of the future.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57You're not thinking of quick profits today
0:33:57 > 0:34:00and closing things down because they're not working.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03The first factory had baths, they'd had school rooms,
0:34:03 > 0:34:06they had libraries, they're trying to feed the workers,
0:34:06 > 0:34:07not the shareholders.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09I know you're writing about a group of women
0:34:09 > 0:34:11who worked at the Carr's biscuit factory.
0:34:11 > 0:34:15- They were called cracker packers. - Cracker packers!
0:34:15 > 0:34:17And they did what that suggests -
0:34:17 > 0:34:23they stood there packing crackers into the wrapping machines.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26They also had the most brilliant magazine called the Topper Off.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Why was it called the Topper Off?
0:34:28 > 0:34:33Because the lady on the production line, the last lady, put the top on.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36She was the topper off, so the magazine was called the Topper Off.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39I was looking at a 1963 edition
0:34:39 > 0:34:42and the Beatles came to Carlisle in 1963.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44One of the girls, the cracker packers, had gone there
0:34:44 > 0:34:47and written a beautiful first-hand account
0:34:47 > 0:34:49of going to the concert at the Lonsdale Cinema.
0:34:49 > 0:34:53It's one of the earliest first-hand accounts of them on tour.
0:35:02 > 0:35:07Round about the time that I was saving my pocket money up for Beatles' albums
0:35:07 > 0:35:11and my brother would come home with really cool clothes,
0:35:11 > 0:35:15like suede boots and those skinny knitted ties...
0:35:17 > 0:35:19I was looking for a new biscuit, something different,
0:35:19 > 0:35:21a big boy's biscuit.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24So there was the chocolate Penguin,
0:35:24 > 0:35:26with its beautiful jewel-coloured wrappers.
0:35:26 > 0:35:31There was the Jacob's Club with the thick, thick chocolate.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33There's something different about these.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36They were luxurious but they were also quite hip.
0:35:36 > 0:35:41# If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club! #
0:35:42 > 0:35:45But there was also the Jaffa Cake.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47This was the biscuit that my brother introduced me to,
0:35:47 > 0:35:50a wonderful little biscuit, but very special.
0:35:50 > 0:35:54It's got a layer of sponge, which in those days was quite crisp and dry,
0:35:54 > 0:35:56and a bit of chocolaty coating
0:35:56 > 0:35:58and then inside, that wonderful little disc of jelly.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00In fact, the whole thing's a bit like a disc.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03It was like a little 45 rpm record, a little single.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07You know, I'd also heard, and it may not be true,
0:36:07 > 0:36:10that when the Beatles got their first royalty cheque,
0:36:10 > 0:36:15John Lennon had spent some of it on an entire box, a crate,
0:36:15 > 0:36:17of Jaffa Cakes.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19There's good taste for you.
0:36:19 > 0:36:24# Oh, you've got lots of biscuits Different shapes and different types
0:36:24 > 0:36:27# But in the end we know there's one That everybody likes
0:36:27 > 0:36:30# It's full of country goodness... #
0:36:30 > 0:36:32But whenever I consider all those biscuits
0:36:32 > 0:36:34I really loved as a growing teenager,
0:36:34 > 0:36:40there's one particular biscuit I always return to - the Abbey Crunch,
0:36:40 > 0:36:44which tragically stopped production back in 2006.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47# It must be the oats! Yeah! #
0:36:47 > 0:36:51If I reach in my rucksack here, I have something that you may appreciate.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56Here we are. I saved this from 2006.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00- No way!- Yes.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Be very careful with this,
0:37:03 > 0:37:06because it's possibly the last packet on the planet.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Oh! Look!
0:37:08 > 0:37:11I knew that they were stopping the production of them
0:37:11 > 0:37:13- and it was my favourite biscuit... - It is the best biscuit ever.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17There is no better biscuit, there will never be a better biscuit.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20So this is the bit when I start to look a bit like a crazy biscuit guy.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22- Well...- But...
0:37:22 > 0:37:25- This is the bit?- Do you remember where you first had one?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Oh, heavens, yes. At my Auntie Marjorie and Uncle John's house
0:37:28 > 0:37:32and out came these wonderful looking, rather cracked biscuits.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- Yes!- They had a lovely open texture to them
0:37:34 > 0:37:37and it really was love at first bite.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40- When you try to make an Abbey Crunch, you can't.- Yeah.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- And I've tried - you can't. - Yes. Mary Berry tried to make some for me once.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46- The wonderful Mary Berry. - And they were lovely biscuits
0:37:46 > 0:37:51but I couldn't look her in the eye and say that she'd done it and, yeah, that was an awkward moment.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55Most of the biscuits we've eaten today,
0:37:55 > 0:37:58it's just like going back through a photograph album.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- Yeah. Here we go. - Ah, no way!
0:38:02 > 0:38:04- No way! I haven't had one of those for years.- What's that?
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- That is a Café Noir, isn't it? - It is.
0:38:07 > 0:38:11Oh, there's something very, very grown up about a coffee biscuit.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Yeah, yeah. That's adult biscuit.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16That is an adult biscuit, it's an adult smell.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20I feel I've come of age, I've sort of reached biscuit puberty.
0:38:20 > 0:38:24This is kind of the story of my life, this biscuit tin.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26- It must be the story of yours as well.- It certainly is.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30I mean, I'm gazing at a biscuit right now that I vividly remember
0:38:30 > 0:38:33as the first biscuit I had when I started my primary school.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35- Are we talking Jammie Dodger? - We are.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37THEY LAUGH
0:38:44 > 0:38:47So that is just jam in there
0:38:47 > 0:38:48and it's industrial jam.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51This is not jam that you'd put your toast in the morning,
0:38:51 > 0:38:53This is biscuit jam. It's doing a job.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55It's holding together two biscuits.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03- You know like the strings on a pizza?- Yes.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07- Well, same thing. - And you want to wrestle it apart
0:39:07 > 0:39:09and you know if you do you're going to break it.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18We've moved to the point where we're going to discuss chocolate.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22That's a Wagon Wheel.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24- You're going to talk to me about size, aren't you?- I am. I'm sorry.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28# Well, you can't help smiling When you eat a wagon wheel
0:39:28 > 0:39:31# It tastes so good It almost seems a sin. #
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Size is important.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35# ..about a Wagon Wheel
0:39:35 > 0:39:37# It's so big you've got to grin to get it in. #
0:39:39 > 0:39:43- That is not what it used to be. - So, indeed it isn't
0:39:43 > 0:39:47but only slightly, because when they moved the production of these,
0:39:47 > 0:39:51they changed the biscuit rollers and ever so slightly, they got smaller.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53It was invented by a guy called Gary Weston.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55He actually invented it very, very quickly.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59They put it together from idea to production biscuit in about six weeks.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- And this was a Marie biscuit in there...- Yeah.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04..with a very thin layer of mallow
0:40:04 > 0:40:06and the stuff round the outside was not chocolate.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10They couldn't call it chocolate. It was called Blackpool coating.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12But when they all came together it made a Wagon Wheel,
0:40:12 > 0:40:16which for me was a fabulous, fabulous treat of a biscuit as a kid
0:40:16 > 0:40:21- and still is today. - It was worth spending every penny of your pocket money.
0:40:22 > 0:40:27# If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club. #
0:40:27 > 0:40:30This was the biscuit of the special occasion.
0:40:30 > 0:40:33- I suppose, because we didn't really have afternoon tea...- Yeah.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36..when we went somewhere, like an auntie or uncle's house or something like that,
0:40:36 > 0:40:40this is what would come out in a little pile on a plate,
0:40:40 > 0:40:42usually with roses on, and a little doyley.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46The thing about the Club is it used to have amazingly huge amounts of chocolate on there.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Where's the ruddy chocolate?
0:40:48 > 0:40:50So much so that you could bite it off in lumps.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53The chocolate was so thick that you could bite it off
0:40:53 > 0:40:55without damaging the biscuit.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01The chocolate-covered digestive. It's the nation's favourite biscuit.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06- Is it?- Yep. We do more chocolate digestives than any other biscuit.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09- But for me it has to be dark chocolate.- Really?- Yeah.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11- You're a dark chocolate man? - I'm a dark chocolate man.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13I wouldn't want to cast aspersions on your character -
0:41:13 > 0:41:15that's not what we're here to do -
0:41:15 > 0:41:19but people who like the plain chocolate digestive I tend to think
0:41:19 > 0:41:22do have a sense of self-superiority about them.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30- Am I wrong?- Erm...
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Not far... Not far off.
0:41:35 > 0:41:40Let's put it this way, you hear the phrase, "Well, I like the plain ones,"
0:41:40 > 0:41:46thrown back at you in a kind of mildly judgemental way.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50OK. I'm a bit smug.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02Maybe biscuits can tell us something about what sort of people we are,
0:42:02 > 0:42:05but there's one thing we do with biscuits
0:42:05 > 0:42:08that splits us down the middle to dunk or not to dunk.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12So Proust dunked his madeleine.
0:42:12 > 0:42:16You have to dunk a ship's biscuit in order to make it edible.
0:42:16 > 0:42:20But dunking has other connotations too - it's a social thing.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24In fact, Debrett's insists that you shouldn't dunk
0:42:24 > 0:42:26unless you're in very informal company.
0:42:27 > 0:42:32My father thought dunking was a bit common. I wasn't allowed to.
0:42:32 > 0:42:33I used to dunk when he wasn't looking.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36But dunking is something that I think is quite essential,
0:42:36 > 0:42:38it's quite important.
0:42:38 > 0:42:39There are dunking moments
0:42:39 > 0:42:42and it shouldn't, I think, be taken lightly.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49I'm heading off to Hull University
0:42:49 > 0:42:52where, as mad scientists tend to, they conduct research
0:42:52 > 0:42:55into countless everyday objects, such as the biscuit,
0:42:55 > 0:42:58whether it's testing them under extreme pressure
0:42:58 > 0:43:00to help manufacturers with packaging,
0:43:00 > 0:43:04or igniting them to better illustrate the calorific content in food.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06I'm here for another reason
0:43:06 > 0:43:10to explore what happens when we dunk a biscuit into something hot.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13- Oh, I get to wear glasses like you. - HE SNIGGERS
0:43:14 > 0:43:16There we are - how cool are these?
0:43:16 > 0:43:18This is a very important subject to me
0:43:18 > 0:43:23because there's nothing worse than that soggy debris
0:43:23 > 0:43:26- at the bottom of the cup... - The sludge at the end of your cup of tea.- The sludge.
0:43:26 > 0:43:31So what exactly happens when we dunk a biscuit into tea or hot water?
0:43:31 > 0:43:33You've got to understand what a biscuit is
0:43:33 > 0:43:36and biscuit is grains of starch all compacted together
0:43:36 > 0:43:39and, as you know, it's made with fat and sugar
0:43:39 > 0:43:42that basically is the glue that holds it together.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46When you put it into water, the sugar and the fat start to dissolve
0:43:46 > 0:43:48and the biscuit starts to fall apart.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50What you'll also see is when we put it in the water,
0:43:50 > 0:43:54the same way in which water comes up a plant,
0:43:54 > 0:43:56it will actually crawl up against gravity.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59Inside the biscuits on a microscopic level
0:43:59 > 0:44:02there are tiny holes that act just like that, like capillaries,
0:44:02 > 0:44:04and the water actually climbs up against gravity.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07We're taking the nation's ten favourite dunking biscuits
0:44:07 > 0:44:10and by dunking them all within an inch of their lives,
0:44:10 > 0:44:13we'll arrive at Britain's strongest drunker.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16Number one, the chocolate chip cookie.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18We're timing it, so we can compare it with the other ones.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21- The fluid is drawing up. - It's over halfway.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24- Oh! We've lost a chocolate chip. - The first casualty.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26That is a dunking disaster.
0:44:26 > 0:44:30- Ginger Nut next. Is this one going to last a long time? - I think it'll last forever.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33Oh, heavens! That is going up really quickly.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36- That's the old capillary action I told you about.- Yeah.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38Ooh.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40This is the HobNob. Let's go for it.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44Look, straight away - crumbs cascading down.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47Look, all that in the bottom of your cup. Yuck.
0:44:47 > 0:44:51Oh, look! You'd end up eating that with a teaspoon.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53It's time for the chocolate digestive.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57The chocolate formed a layer that helped hold it together.
0:44:57 > 0:45:01- Ready with the custard cream? - Yeah, I'm always ready for a custard cream.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03What we'll probably find with this one is
0:45:03 > 0:45:07the cream centre will act a bit like a glue to hold it together for longer.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12- Next up, chocolate Bourbon. - It's a slightly coarser crumb. - Mm-hm.
0:45:14 > 0:45:17- Digestive.- Yeah. - We all love a digestive.
0:45:19 > 0:45:23- Complete dunking disaster. - That just doesn't work at all.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28So, Rich tea. And the clock is ticking.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32It's just going to sit there, isn't it?
0:45:32 > 0:45:33It hasn't moved at all.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38Over ten minutes now. Still going.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43It feels like a wet bath mat.
0:45:44 > 0:45:49- The HobNob lasted a paltry 13 seconds.- I knew it.
0:45:49 > 0:45:52And the king of the hill was the Rich Tea,
0:45:52 > 0:45:54which lasted well in excess of ten minutes.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58- It's the safety biscuit. - The biscuit you can always rely on.
0:46:01 > 0:46:05Making no judgments, but there is a consumer study
0:46:05 > 0:46:11that tells exactly who buys what newspaper and what biscuit.
0:46:11 > 0:46:15The Daily Mail reader, the Garibaldi, the plain arrowroot
0:46:15 > 0:46:17and they're quite partial to a Rich Tea as well.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20The Guardian reader likes all the posh stuff -
0:46:20 > 0:46:24the amarettis, the chocolate Florentines and the biscottis.
0:46:24 > 0:46:30The Sun likes a pink wafer. In fact, the Sun loves a pink wafer.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33The Scotsman reader will be tucking into an oatcake.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35It's just what it says.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38But no story of the British biscuit is complete
0:46:38 > 0:46:40without acknowledging our friends in the north.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43McVitie's, born in Edinburgh in 1830,
0:46:43 > 0:46:50is to this day the market leader in a £2.3 billion British biscuit industry.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53Its most famous creation was the digestive biscuit,
0:46:53 > 0:46:57invented by Alexander Grant in 1892.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01ARCHIVE: In Scotland they eat twice as many chocolate biscuits as anywhere in England.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04But the Scots are merely leaders in an expanding field.
0:47:04 > 0:47:05In the jargon of the trade,
0:47:05 > 0:47:09the informal snack occasion has become a growth area.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13As history proves, the Scots are a fiercely loyal nation
0:47:13 > 0:47:15and so what better place to visit
0:47:15 > 0:47:19to explore the point at which loyalty to a particular biscuit brand
0:47:19 > 0:47:22verges on, well, the fanatical.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26I'm here in St Andrews to meet a group of former students
0:47:26 > 0:47:29who are hiding somewhere on the campus.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35- Hello.- Hello, I'm Nigel. - I'm Alastair.- Alastair, hi.- Welcome.
0:47:35 > 0:47:41This is where the St Andrews University Tunnock's Caramel Wafer Appreciation Society was founded,
0:47:41 > 0:47:42in this very space.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45We have a photograph of this room
0:47:45 > 0:47:48- wallpapered in Caramel Wafer wrappers.- Oh, what?!
0:47:49 > 0:47:52Oh, what?!
0:47:52 > 0:47:55This... This is so beautiful.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57- I love the way it goes right up to the top.- Yes, yes.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59Except the corner that we probably couldn't reach.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01It's just so beautiful.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04One of our stunts, and we had many suggestions, was
0:48:04 > 0:48:08to send a packet of Caramel Wafers to notable people of the day,
0:48:08 > 0:48:09ask them to eat the wafer
0:48:09 > 0:48:12and send back the wrapper with their autograph
0:48:12 > 0:48:14and we then auctioned the autographs for charity.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18Somebody sent some to Ted Hughes, the Poet Laureate of the day,
0:48:18 > 0:48:21and I have a lovely letter from his wife Carol
0:48:21 > 0:48:24that says, "Thank you very much for the wafers.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26"Ted has now signed all the wrappers
0:48:26 > 0:48:28"and I'm afraid to say I ate all the wafers,"
0:48:28 > 0:48:30and back came these wrappers
0:48:30 > 0:48:33and the wrappers had on them original poems or verses
0:48:33 > 0:48:36that Ted Hughes had sketched on the back of these wrappers.
0:48:36 > 0:48:41Our finest treasure is this, the Ted Hughes poem.
0:48:41 > 0:48:42Oh, this is the Ted Hughes poem.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45So this is Ted Hughes' own poem in his own handwriting.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49"To have swallowed a crocodile Would make anybody smile
0:48:49 > 0:48:53"But to swallow a caramel wafer Is safer."
0:48:56 > 0:48:57- Beautiful, isn't it? - Bless him.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00Here's one that might interest you. Look at this.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Oh! Bless him!
0:49:02 > 0:49:05- Oh, bless him, we miss him so much. - Yes!
0:49:05 > 0:49:08I love his little wine glass. Oh, isn't that a thing of beauty?
0:49:08 > 0:49:11A particular moment of merriment comes from NASA,
0:49:11 > 0:49:16- when we sent a Caramel Wafer to NASA. - From NASA?- Yes, yes.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19We wrote to NASA and asked them whether it would be possible
0:49:19 > 0:49:22to send a Caramel Wafer into space,
0:49:22 > 0:49:25so we had a beautiful letter back from NASA which goes like this.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28"Dear Mr Johnson, I am sorry to be so late getting back to you
0:49:28 > 0:49:30"in answer to your letter of February 19th
0:49:30 > 0:49:33"but the person who answers our mail has been out sick
0:49:33 > 0:49:34"and we are badly backlogged."
0:49:34 > 0:49:37- NASA!- Marvellous, I love it.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39So we followed it up and they said to us
0:49:39 > 0:49:43that for the very reasonable price of between 3,000 and 10,000,
0:49:43 > 0:49:48we could then have it itemised as a scheduled payload on the shuttle
0:49:48 > 0:49:52but the deposit of 500 was beyond our means in those days,
0:49:52 > 0:49:53so we let it lie there.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56Couldn't just slip it into their tuck box?
0:49:56 > 0:49:57LAUGHTER Yes!
0:49:57 > 0:50:00..three, two, one, liftoff!
0:50:02 > 0:50:03Liftoff.
0:50:06 > 0:50:11It strikes me that this strange fellowship, alive and kicking 30 years on,
0:50:11 > 0:50:15is perhaps more about the wrapper than the actual biscuit.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17There is almost a sort of ritual
0:50:17 > 0:50:19around eating a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer
0:50:19 > 0:50:22the taking off of the wrapper, how you eat it, what you do with the wrapper after.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24You have to fold the wrapper down.
0:50:24 > 0:50:29- I open it right up and use it as a plate, the wrapper, like so. - I keep hold of the wrapper.
0:50:29 > 0:50:32- I just eat them whole! - GROANING
0:50:34 > 0:50:37This is really quite extraordinary.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39And not a little bonkers, either.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43The meeting of the old - that's the founders - and its newest members,
0:50:43 > 0:50:46it's such a simple thing in a complicated world.
0:50:49 > 0:50:53You have to protect the biscuit, keep it safe,
0:50:53 > 0:50:55and the biscuit tin is an obvious place to keep it,
0:50:55 > 0:50:57but a biscuit tin also says keep out.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01An individual wrapper, on the other hand, is very different.
0:51:01 > 0:51:08It's welcoming, it's inviting, that little crackle of a wrapper.
0:51:11 > 0:51:14You're unwrapping a present, it's a gift, it's something special.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16It's a treat.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19But then when that's gone, you've still got the wrapper,
0:51:19 > 0:51:21you've got this beautiful little thing,
0:51:21 > 0:51:25whether it's silver or gold or red, whether it's stripy,
0:51:25 > 0:51:27whether it's got a logo on it -
0:51:27 > 0:51:30you've got this and this is so important.
0:51:31 > 0:51:36And this is something that modern companies are forgetting.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Things are being wrapped for freshness,
0:51:38 > 0:51:39they are being wrapped for safety,
0:51:39 > 0:51:43they're being wrapped to be tamper-proof.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46But what's that about? You're losing the ritual, it's gone.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50You can fold it, you can write on it, you can use it as a bookmark.
0:51:51 > 0:51:55Press the creases out of a foil wrapping...
0:51:55 > 0:51:58and you're pressing the stress out of your life. It's just gone.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04Given the extreme to which brand loyalties can go,
0:52:04 > 0:52:06I'm keen to understand the ways
0:52:06 > 0:52:10in which advertisers divide us, the biscuit buying public,
0:52:10 > 0:52:13into certain types of buyers.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17There are areas for biscuits, OK?
0:52:17 > 0:52:20There's one which is called the share biscuit.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22We're all going to share some biscuits.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25Then you get biscuits such as a treat biscuit.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28- Miss Cartwright, I propose... - Mr Wagstaffe!
0:52:28 > 0:52:32..that we always have Fox's biscuits.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34You then get the health biscuit, so what they do
0:52:34 > 0:52:38is that the perception, from a brand perception, is that this is a healthy biscuit.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40Chuck a few oats in, it's healthy.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43They're really delicious, light and crunchy,
0:52:43 > 0:52:46with a natural home-baked taste.
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Then you get the gift biscuits.
0:52:47 > 0:52:51New Chocolate Wafer Fingers were invented by Cadbury's
0:52:51 > 0:52:53for special occasions.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Then you have the fix-it biscuit.
0:52:55 > 0:52:57If you were making a biscuit, which is a fix-it biscuit,
0:52:57 > 0:53:00what kind of way would you go?
0:53:00 > 0:53:03I would go chocolaty, I would go crumbly.
0:53:03 > 0:53:04KIDS CHEERING
0:53:07 > 0:53:09# P-pick up a penguin
0:53:09 > 0:53:11# A lovely big penguin
0:53:11 > 0:53:14# When you p-p-p-pick up a penguin There's so much more to enjoy
0:53:14 > 0:53:17# If you feel a little more peckish... #
0:53:17 > 0:53:19I spent far too much of my childhood saying...
0:53:19 > 0:53:22- P-p-p-p-penguin!- Exactly.
0:53:22 > 0:53:26What was going through the advertising people's brains at that time was
0:53:26 > 0:53:29this really important aspect of the child doing something.
0:53:29 > 0:53:32Well, what is a child doing? Two things.
0:53:32 > 0:53:37Number one, the child is doing this alliteration stuff of p-p-p-p-penguin.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39"Do you want a p-p-p-penguin?" and all that stuff,
0:53:39 > 0:53:41so that would go into their heads, OK?
0:53:41 > 0:53:46And the second thing is that it's got this idea that each Penguin,
0:53:46 > 0:53:48the wrapper was a different colour,
0:53:48 > 0:53:51which meant that they were very collectible, yeah?
0:53:51 > 0:53:54I've got the red colour, you've got whatever it might be,
0:53:54 > 0:53:56so that was very, very clever.
0:53:56 > 0:54:03# Girls are nice but, boy, what I seek comes with Oreo. #
0:54:04 > 0:54:08This is about the twist, the lick and the dunk.
0:54:11 > 0:54:15- This brand is America. - Well, all gone.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17Is it really the world's biggest seller?
0:54:17 > 0:54:21It is the biggest selling biscuit, it is the Holy Grail of biscuits.
0:54:21 > 0:54:25Actually came out about 1912, so it's over 100 years old, yeah?
0:54:25 > 0:54:26In terms of a brand,
0:54:26 > 0:54:30how do you make something which has such an incredible heritage
0:54:30 > 0:54:34part of our own culture? That's a really big ask.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37The amazing thing is is I think that they've done it.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41People are twisting, licking and dunking.
0:54:45 > 0:54:50One thing that still persists in the world of all things biscuity is
0:54:50 > 0:54:54that ultimate of questions when is a biscuit not a biscuit?
0:54:56 > 0:54:59- What's in your box? - What is in the box is controversy.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02In our Venn diagram of the biscuit world,
0:55:02 > 0:55:05these are all the things that are on the outside,
0:55:05 > 0:55:07they're all the things that cause people problems.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10Are they a biscuit or aren't they a biscuit?
0:55:11 > 0:55:13- Biscuit. - Biscuit.
0:55:13 > 0:55:14Biscuit.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16I've always missed out on something.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19- Because I'm not an egg eater... - Right.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23..I have missed out on that boiled egg moment
0:55:23 > 0:55:26when you tap the shell with your teaspoon,
0:55:26 > 0:55:28so this is the nearest I ever got,
0:55:28 > 0:55:31that moment when you just tap the top and you've gone in.
0:55:35 > 0:55:36What's the brandy snap doing there?
0:55:36 > 0:55:38Brandy snap - brandy snap's not a biscuit.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Isn't it a biscuit? Is that a cake?
0:55:40 > 0:55:43No, it's not a cake but it's not a biscuit either.
0:55:43 > 0:55:45Well, it's an outlier, isn't it?
0:55:45 > 0:55:48- It's an outlier, it's on the very edge of your Venn diagram.- Yeah.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56- So, biscuit or cake?- Biscuit.
0:55:56 > 0:55:57- Biscuit?- Yeah.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01- Biscuit?- I can tell you don't agree by your tone.
0:56:01 > 0:56:05Well, that one has been to court and been bounced around
0:56:05 > 0:56:10and this one is now classified for VAT purposes as a cake.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13- Don't start me. - I'm going to start you on that.
0:56:13 > 0:56:18- Is this a biscuit? - Let's cut to it. It's a wafer.
0:56:18 > 0:56:22It's a wafer with chocolate round it but it will not be pinned down,
0:56:22 > 0:56:25it refuses to be pinned down and it doesn't want to be pinned down.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29So what for you is the definition of a biscuit?
0:56:29 > 0:56:32The thing that really makes a biscuit a biscuit is
0:56:32 > 0:56:38the way that every type of these biscuits is the same as its brethren.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41That's something that we put a lot of trust into, it comforts us,
0:56:41 > 0:56:44so we know that these things are always going to be the same
0:56:44 > 0:56:49and that's a point in our day where whatever else is going on,
0:56:49 > 0:56:52our biscuit friends are there for us.
0:56:52 > 0:56:54They are our friends.
0:56:55 > 0:56:58Biscuits are indeed our culinary friends.
0:56:58 > 0:57:00The containers may have changed
0:57:00 > 0:57:02and the original companies may have been swallowed up,
0:57:02 > 0:57:06but the biscuits themselves, all wrapped in their packs,
0:57:06 > 0:57:09uniformly patterned, mass produced,
0:57:09 > 0:57:12have become something that is surprisingly rare
0:57:12 > 0:57:14in this day and age.
0:57:14 > 0:57:18Whatever anyone says, biscuits are dependable
0:57:18 > 0:57:21and woe betide any manufacturers who tamper
0:57:21 > 0:57:24with this comforting constant in our lives.
0:57:25 > 0:57:29You know, there are vandals in the world of sweets,
0:57:29 > 0:57:31in the world of chocolates, in the world of biscuits.
0:57:33 > 0:57:36They fiddle around with things, they repackage things,
0:57:36 > 0:57:38- they change the shape, they change the smell.- Yeah.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41No! I want... They should all be tied to a chair
0:57:41 > 0:57:43with their hands behind their back.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45They should not be allowed to fiddle with things.
0:57:45 > 0:57:49When they get messed with, people really can't cope with it.
0:57:49 > 0:57:52These are things that are almost part of our DNA,
0:57:52 > 0:57:53- they're part of our lives.- Yes!
0:57:53 > 0:57:57Leave it alone. Leave the packaging alone, leave the shape of it alone,
0:57:57 > 0:58:00- the smell of it alone. - It's like someone, you know...
0:58:00 > 0:58:03It's not like losing a limb obviously, that would be a silly thing to say,
0:58:03 > 0:58:09but it's like people messing with the fundamental fabric of your life.
0:58:09 > 0:58:14If your fig roll is perfect with the ends open, why make them closed?
0:58:21 > 0:58:25And you did tell me you've got the name of the person who killed the Abbey Crunch.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28Yeah, I do, but I couldn't reveal that.