Joanna and Jennifer: Absolutely Champers

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03Fizzy wine is everywhere these days.

0:00:03 > 0:00:06The cavas, the proseccos.

0:00:06 > 0:00:10- But queen amongst them has always been...- Champagne.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12THE go-to drink for any celebration,

0:00:12 > 0:00:16the bottle with a hint of VIP and a price tag to match.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18Ah, but is it expensive because it's so special?

0:00:18 > 0:00:20Or special because it's so expensive?

0:00:20 > 0:00:22And what makes it so expensive, anyway?

0:00:22 > 0:00:24One thing's for sure - Eddy and Patsy never gave it much thought.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26- Cheers.- Cheers.

0:00:26 > 0:00:29Champagne fuelled their friendship.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31And Ab Fab was the beginning of ours.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34- Cheers, thanks a lot. - Cheers, thanks a lot, sweetie.

0:00:34 > 0:00:3725 years on from Ab Fab, in honour of Eddy and Patsy,

0:00:37 > 0:00:40we're in France and we are on a mission.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42- Aw-haw-haw!- Haw-hee-haw!

0:00:44 > 0:00:47We're in the Champagne region during the two-week grape harvest that

0:00:47 > 0:00:49happens every autumn.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52- Panier.- The danger is you just cut off your thumb.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54We'll immerse ourselves in all things champagne.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59Two grandmothers plunging about in this, in our big pants.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03And discover from the masters how they put the bubbles in bubbly.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06That is a proper explosion.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09We'll even get access to some of the most valuable champagne

0:01:09 > 0:01:11on the planet.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12The first bottles of Bollinger.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14BELL RINGS Tiens, c'est quoi?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Who's taken a bottle of champagne?!

0:01:16 > 0:01:18And along the way, there'll be some trips down memory lane.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23You were drinking and it was just dribbling out.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26There might even be a little bit of champagne tasting, too.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Chin-chin.- Merci beaucoup.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31But we promise to remain focused and professional at all times.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34That chewing, what wine-tasting always people do. Yeah.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38You see, I knew that was a mistake, I knew that was wrong.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Courage.

0:01:40 > 0:01:41CHEERING

0:01:45 > 0:01:47- Cheers, darling. - Cheers, sweetie darling.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Our journey begins at St Pancras International,

0:01:57 > 0:02:00where we're due to catch the Eurostar to Paris.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04You know, I took off my green nail varnish and I put on this

0:02:04 > 0:02:06- rather French chic colour. - Oh, that's very chic.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Cos otherwise I always feel like they look at you like you've

0:02:09 > 0:02:11already spilt your breakfast down your front. Which I might have.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15- Parlez-vous francais? - Do you know, oui,

0:02:15 > 0:02:17but can you get around in France on your own,

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- just speaking French? - Of course I can speak French.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22I'm fluent.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24And I've got a rule...

0:02:24 > 0:02:29- Yeah.- ..that you're allowed to fine me every time I say "haw-hee-haw".

0:02:29 > 0:02:31- OK?- Please don't do that.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Oh, now, shall we stop for a little glass?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Yes, please!

0:02:40 > 0:02:41Haw-hee-haw!

0:02:41 > 0:02:42LAUGHTER

0:02:44 > 0:02:47For those passengers who want to celebrate the beginning of their

0:02:47 > 0:02:50journey, St Pancras has the longest champagne bar in Europe.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54The manager is Joel.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57We have about 120 champagnes altogether.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01- I didn't know there were 120 champagnes.- Wow.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02What do people generally ask for?

0:03:02 > 0:03:04What's the most popular champagne?

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Our champagne. We have our own cuvee,

0:03:08 > 0:03:10which we blend ourselves with a small house in Champagne.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Shall we have that?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Thank you.- It's a bit early for this, isn't it?

0:03:15 > 0:03:18It's not too early!

0:03:18 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- I can't believe it.- I can't believe we're actually doing is.

0:03:22 > 0:03:23We're not Eddy and Patsy.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26No, we're not. Basically, I'm just a lady that likes to sit at home,

0:03:26 > 0:03:28hoover and trim her geraniums.

0:03:30 > 0:03:31And you are the same.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33I'm the same. And I do a little tapestry.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Do you?

0:03:36 > 0:03:38- Oh, look.- Ohh, that looks refreshing.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41Merci beaucoup.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47People drink champagne all the time now, it's at every wedding,

0:03:47 > 0:03:49it's at every party, it's at everything.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51We are huge consumers of champagne here, aren't we?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54You are, you are. You are the second-biggest market after France.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58- And that's just us.- After France. - That's just us two!

0:03:58 > 0:03:59I'm sure, I'm sure.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01You're way, way, way ahead of America.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07- Merci, Joel.- With pleasure. Enjoy the beginning of your journey.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09This is going to be so exciting.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11I don't know anything about how champagne is made.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13I only know it when it comes like this.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I don't know anything about it.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Well, I know that it's made by grapes,

0:04:18 > 0:04:21and they squish them and then put them in a bottle.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22And somehow it comes out fizz.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24I don't know how it becomes fizzy.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26How does it become fizzy?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Sorry.- Fizzy?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Fizzy? What do you mean...?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32What's wrong with...?

0:04:37 > 0:04:38I don't know.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42I can't stop it.

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Oh, God.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45What?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48I don't know!

0:04:48 > 0:04:49It suddenly seemed really surreal.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Just one sip!

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh, pull yourself together, woman.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55You're walking extremely fast.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I don't know if you've ever noticed this,

0:04:57 > 0:04:59but I'm actually a little bit smaller than you.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Oh, bloody hell, I can't manage.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04No, I can't manage.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Oh, I can manage.- I literally so can't manage.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09No, you can't manage.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Here, don't do that, you'll do your back in.

0:05:12 > 0:05:13- You'll do your back.- Porter!

0:05:23 > 0:05:26It's hard to imagine now, but there was a time when the two of us

0:05:26 > 0:05:27didn't know each other.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29It was 1990.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32I had written the pilot script for Ab Fab and we needed a Patsy.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38I can remember the odd feeling, because when I was seeing you,

0:05:38 > 0:05:41I thought, "Jennifer, I do so want her to like me."

0:05:41 > 0:05:43But I was a bit afraid of you, you know,

0:05:43 > 0:05:46cos you're quite forbidding, non-smiling.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49And when I said, "Can I call you Jen?" and you said, "No,"

0:05:49 > 0:05:50there was a little bit of a moment.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- I don't remember that.- No, you don't remember that, but I do.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Can you remember what it was, how we eventually started laughing?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Why did we suddenly start laughing together?

0:05:58 > 0:06:02Because of the driver. He had no idea how to drive an automatic car,

0:06:02 > 0:06:05so, every time he went forward, he started it off in first,

0:06:05 > 0:06:09he headed into second, but just jam on the brakes.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13- And it was...- We got hysterical. - It made us laugh so hard.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16I mean, look at you, you've been a fantastic mother.

0:06:17 > 0:06:18You've let them ruin your figure.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Your stomach is stretched beyond recognition,

0:06:21 > 0:06:24you've got tits down to your knees and what for, for God's sake?

0:06:24 > 0:06:26For a potholer who's worn nothing but a purple nylon tracksuit

0:06:26 > 0:06:29and a Gazza T-shirt for the past two years.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Cut the cord, darling.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33- Left here if we're going to Harvey Nicks.- Left.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36The show went on to run for six series

0:06:36 > 0:06:38and even spawned a feature film, all written by you.

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Yes, thank you very much.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42You weren't very ordered with the scripts you brought in.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Don't bring that up! Don't bring it up now!

0:06:45 > 0:06:49Some of the read-throughs, we were all sitting there, all ready,

0:06:49 > 0:06:51"Jennifer coming?" "No, Jennifer's not here yet."

0:06:51 > 0:06:53"Shall we have another... Shall we get some more coffee?"

0:06:53 > 0:06:56And then suddenly, bang, bang, bang, dogs, clicking of toes,

0:06:56 > 0:06:57old leads and shopping baskets,

0:06:57 > 0:07:00and in you come in and go, "Here we are, here we are."

0:07:00 > 0:07:04Obviously not printed out yet and you would bring out

0:07:04 > 0:07:06some frightful old bit of paper.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11"So, can we get these printed off very quickly?" And we'd all go,

0:07:11 > 0:07:13"Oh, well done," looking with despair.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Two sheets...

0:07:15 > 0:07:17LAUGHTER

0:07:18 > 0:07:22Actually on the train, it would be on the train, from Devon to London.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24The battery would run out on my old computer.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28"Oh, no, what am I going to say?"

0:07:28 > 0:07:30And so, oh, God, it used to absolutely do me in.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Just awful.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36- This is France. Look Jennifer, this is France.- I know.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Joanna's professional travelogue skills and fluent French

0:07:39 > 0:07:41are perfect for this trip.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Bouteille?- Bouteille de l'eau.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Of water.- De l'eau? iPad.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48- Les dents.- Les dents.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51And due to the recent scare about prosecco rotting your teeth,

0:07:51 > 0:07:53I've bought some appropriate replacements.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Please say prosecco.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58- MUFFLED:- Prosecco.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01I'm drinking prosecco.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Prosecco!

0:08:05 > 0:08:06Sparkling wine.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10Sparkling wine. I drink it all the time.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Now you're talking like Janet Street-Porter.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Oh! That's unkind. But it's true, isn't it?

0:08:20 > 0:08:22The train takes us to Paris...

0:08:22 > 0:08:25and then another on to Reims...

0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Pardon?- ..which sits at the very top of the Champagne region,

0:08:28 > 0:08:32in an area of 327 square kilometres to the north-east of Paris,

0:08:32 > 0:08:35home to almost 5,000 champagne producers,

0:08:35 > 0:08:38and most of these are in and around our final destination,

0:08:38 > 0:08:44considered to be the very heart of the Champagne region, Epernay.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48And after a night's rest in Reims,

0:08:48 > 0:08:52we're on our way in a car that is almost as old as us -

0:08:52 > 0:08:54a 1974 Citroen DS.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58The bottom is coming out! Look, look, look.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Oh, up she goes. - It's not a getaway car.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02It's a bit like me in the morning.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05In first, and we're off.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12Down into second, yes, she does! LAUGHTER

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Don't forget that we're driving on the right.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Stretching forward. Oh, steady on the brakes.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18There we go.

0:09:18 > 0:09:24Hang on now. Into first. Oh, hang on. Sorry, man behind.

0:09:27 > 0:09:28I feel so relaxed.

0:09:28 > 0:09:29Do you feel very relaxed?

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Feeling very relaxed.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Now, it's fair to say that Eddy and I do share one common trait -

0:09:35 > 0:09:39we're both extremely good drivers.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42HORN BLARES

0:09:42 > 0:09:43What?! Come on!

0:09:43 > 0:09:45HORN BLARES

0:09:45 > 0:09:46Road! There's a road!

0:09:49 > 0:09:50You've been described as a petrolhead.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Do you know, I think I'm not really a petrolhead.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57I just appreciate cars, I think that's the thing.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59And I think, because I was brought up with brothers,

0:09:59 > 0:10:03I wasn't expected to be any different in any respect.

0:10:03 > 0:10:08I played with the same toys, I climbed on the same bikes,

0:10:08 > 0:10:10motorbikes, and charged about a bit.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14When I was small, I didn't have a doll's house, I had a garage.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17And I had a set of lead traffic signs, and I had a garage,

0:10:17 > 0:10:20and I used to collect, and I still collect, toy cars.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Now we're talking. Now we're on the road.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- You're driving very well, Ms Saunders.- Yes, quite.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Did you pass your driving test first time?- I did.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Probably, I owe it to my mother.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41- Why?- Because she gave me a very, very small glass of sherry

0:10:41 > 0:10:44before I took my test. I wouldn't recommend that.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Car journeys tend to go less well

0:10:47 > 0:10:50when Patsy's in charge of navigation.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53A particular trip to France went badly wrong when they tried to find

0:10:53 > 0:10:55the chateau they were supposed to be staying in.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Read the instructions.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00"Leave airport, turn right, blah, blah, blah."

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Right, get in, Pats.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05I shouldn't have gone left, should I?

0:11:05 > 0:11:07ACCORDION MUSIC

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Back to that bloody airport, Pats, or we'll never find it.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16We'll never find it.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22God, I hate France! I hate it!

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Look, look, to your left, to your left.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Grapes, vines!- Grapes, vines.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Look, look at all these workers. - They're picking, they're picking.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Now listen to this. This is from this book on champagne,

0:11:45 > 0:11:47John Birmingham's book on champagne.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50I'm going to do something in a voice to give you a clue.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52- All right.- And you've got to guess who said it.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55"Why do I drink champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?"

0:11:57 > 0:12:01- Coward.- Yes, Noel Coward. - Yes, well done, good impresh.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Now, remind me of Madame Bollinger's quote.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08"When do you drink champagne?" she was asked.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11She said, "I drink it when I am sad."

0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Yes.- "Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone."

0:12:15 > 0:12:19- Yes.- "When I have company, I consider it obligatory."

0:12:19 > 0:12:22- Yes.- "I trifle with it when I'm not angry,"

0:12:22 > 0:12:25"and drink it when I am.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27"Otherwise, I never touch it.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29"Unless I'm thirsty."

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Very good.

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Madame Bollinger.

0:12:32 > 0:12:37And Constantin Silvestri, who was a Romanian conductor.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40I can't do a Romanian accent, but he said,

0:12:40 > 0:12:44"I shall tell you what are the three best things in life.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46"The first is a glass of champagne...

0:12:47 > 0:12:49"..and the third is a cigarette."

0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Ahh.- Aw-haw-haw!- Haw-hee-haw!

0:12:56 > 0:12:58We're in Epernay!

0:12:58 > 0:12:59That's quite a hell of a tower, isn't it?

0:12:59 > 0:13:00That's a hell of a tower.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06We arrive on Epernay's Avenue de Champagne,

0:13:06 > 0:13:07home to the headquarters of some of

0:13:07 > 0:13:11the biggest and most famous champagne houses in the world,

0:13:11 > 0:13:15including the first one to settle here over 250 years ago,

0:13:15 > 0:13:17still the biggest of them all.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Moet & Chandon! Moet & Chandon!

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Moet & Chandon. It's enorme.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Perrier-Jouet!- To the left, Perrier-Jouet!

0:13:25 > 0:13:27- That was Oscar Wilde's favourite champagne.- It is.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Pol Roger, Pol Roger.- Pol Roger... Pol Roger!

0:13:31 > 0:13:34My head's spinning. I can't take them all in.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35Gee whiz.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38Wow!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44We're staying at a little B&B on the Avenue de Champagne itself.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48- This is us. Is it? Yeah.- Yes.

0:13:48 > 0:13:51- Bonjour!- Bonjour! - Bonjour!- Bonjour, mesdames!

0:13:51 > 0:13:55And our hosts, Claude and Jeanette, who only look slightly French,

0:13:55 > 0:13:58give us a warm welcome and a chilled glass of champagne

0:13:58 > 0:14:00that Claude makes himself.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03- Chin-chin.- Et merci beaucoup.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Well, we won't be sending that one back.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Delicieux.- Delicieux, monsieur.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10- You say. No, you say it. - You say, you say.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Demain, we can say "demain."- Demain.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Nous...- Nous...- Nous aller...

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Oui, oui. HE WHISTLES

0:14:36 > 0:14:39We're bound for the vineyards around the little village of Cumieres,

0:14:39 > 0:14:42a few miles away, but the traffic's terrible.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44HORNS HONK

0:14:46 > 0:14:48This is le rush hour.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51It is only 6.30 in the morning, but this is the harvest,

0:14:51 > 0:14:54and a grape-picker's shift starts at 7am.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Do you think we have to work out how ripe they are, or are they ripe

0:14:57 > 0:15:01- and that's why we're picking? - I hope we'll be told.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Yeah.- There they are.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05The vineyards await.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Oh, look, here are some of the workers.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- There are people all crouching down here, look.- Ah.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17Hidden.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20We report for duty fashionably late.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Today we are working for Georges Laval's champagne house,

0:15:23 > 0:15:27a small family operation producing around 20,000 bottles a year,

0:15:27 > 0:15:31now run by the son of Georges, Vincent Laval.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Je suis Joanna.- Bonjour, Joanna.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Bonjour, Stephane.- Bonjour.

0:15:35 > 0:15:39Oh, look... This is all... Can we learn how to do this?

0:15:39 > 0:15:40- Can we help you?- With pleasure.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42- Yeah?- Yes!- OK.

0:15:42 > 0:15:47- You pull the leaves.- Take off the leaves, take the grapes.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52- And place carefully. - Carefully, please.

0:15:52 > 0:15:58We cut the grapes and when the basket is full, say, "panier"!

0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Panier?- And the young man will come and take the basket.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05OK, so I'll come with you, I'll come with you.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07And I take off that leaf.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Be careful of your fingers.- Yeah.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16We work organic.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Yes.- For more than 40 years.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23- Wow.- And my father began to work like that and I continue, of course.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27Do you ever use machines, never for picking?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30No, never in Champagne. Never.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31OK.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- Panier. Merci. - VINCENT CHUCKLES

0:16:36 > 0:16:39It's extraordinary that it's all done by hand, isn't it, still?

0:16:39 > 0:16:43I mean, it's just, as far as you can see, there's vineyards

0:16:43 > 0:16:46and all the little white vans, with all the workers in them,

0:16:46 > 0:16:49picking the grapes. It's amazing.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Sometimes you get a little, beautiful... Look at that,

0:16:56 > 0:16:58a little, perfect, Bacchus bunch.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02And here's one, just a bit over.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06Now look this... Show me, show me. This one, do I leave that?

0:17:06 > 0:17:07Yes, yes, yes, of course.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09Just leave it there or cut it?

0:17:09 > 0:17:13- We cut, and after, we take out. - Take them out.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Oh, you just scrape them out like that.- Yes.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20This is a good moment to pick

0:17:20 > 0:17:24- because we just have...- Very few. - ..very few like that.

0:17:24 > 0:17:30If we wait one or two days, with the wet and the weather,

0:17:30 > 0:17:32- which is warm, we are going to have more like that.- Yeah.

0:17:32 > 0:17:38So, when we test the bunches, the grapes, it's very nice.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39- Yeah.- They're delicious.

0:17:42 > 0:17:46The best vineyards are designated either premier cru, like this one,

0:17:46 > 0:17:48or grand cru - top of the class.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51And the grapes we're picking today are Pinot Noir.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54We learn that champagne is usually made from a blend of three types -

0:17:54 > 0:17:58Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier, which are both red,

0:17:58 > 0:18:00and chardonnay, which is white.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03I was starting to find cutting grapes rather addictive.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05- Were you, Jennifer?- Hm, no.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Joanna's actually doing the grape picking.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15She's setting off. She's going to do the whole hectare now.

0:18:15 > 0:18:16Off she goes.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20Where's she gone with her bucket? Where's she gone with her bucket?

0:18:20 > 0:18:22OK, I'm going to get a bucket. Where's my bucket?

0:18:24 > 0:18:26You see, I'm competitive.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Here we go.

0:18:28 > 0:18:29Here we go. Coming!

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Now this is someone's... I don't want to mess up...

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Panier, s'il vous plait. Panier.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46I might be a while before I call for my panier.

0:18:46 > 0:18:47Hang on. There we go.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Merci.- The danger is you just cut off your thumb.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57The grapes start to ferment the moment they're picked,

0:18:57 > 0:19:00so they must be pressed today, and by 8am,

0:19:00 > 0:19:03the vans are half full of containers called cagettes.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09In one cagette, it's 30 bottles.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10- 30?- Yes.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14How are you doing?

0:19:14 > 0:19:16I can see how it's back-breaking, you know.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18But I quite like doing it, Jennifer.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21It is actually a very enjoyable thing to do.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26Yeah. This is something that I would love to do in the summer.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28If I was, obviously, much younger.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32I think I'm full. I'm full, look.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I've got a full...

0:19:34 > 0:19:35a full load.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Why didn't you shout "panier"?

0:19:40 > 0:19:42- Oh, I forgot.- But they would have carried it for you.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I know, it's not Countryfile, I just forgot.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47I was distracted by the breakfast.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Gosh, look at that table.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52That's splendid, cos there's things here that we just don't know

0:19:52 > 0:19:54what they are. That's beautiful.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Mon ami est...

0:19:56 > 0:19:59- Est vegetarien. - ..vegetarien. Oui, oui.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02She doesn't eat anything.

0:20:02 > 0:20:03She eats a banana.

0:20:03 > 0:20:04POP!

0:20:04 > 0:20:09And how good is your job if it comes with a 9am champagne breakfast?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Oh, yes. - The best moment of the day.- Yes.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14LAUGHTER

0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Cheers.- Cheers. A la votre, a la votre.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Sante, sante.- Obviously it's delicious.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30I never thought I'd be drinking champagne for breakfast.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32I know people say it, but I wasn't quite expecting it.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34I was sort of hoping as we were doing the documentary,

0:20:34 > 0:20:39that we might... This seems like the best job in the world, really.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43Why wouldn't you come for your summer and just pick?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45It's just wonderful.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Everyone is so happy.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49THEY SING IN FRENCH

0:20:49 > 0:20:52They're so happy, there's even an impromptu bit of singing,

0:20:52 > 0:20:55though this being France, the song obviously turns out to be a bit...

0:20:55 > 0:20:57- Hmm, how shall we say?- Haw-hee-haw.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01Oh, risque, yes. Thankfully, Vincent is on hand to bring some decorum.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03HE SINGS:

0:21:17 > 0:21:18LAUGHTER

0:21:21 > 0:21:24There's clearly more to making champagne than picking grapes

0:21:24 > 0:21:25and singing naughty songs.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30And back at Vincent's farm in the middle of Cumieres,

0:21:30 > 0:21:32the first step is well underway,

0:21:32 > 0:21:36as they load Vincent's vintage press with today's freshly cut grapes.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40For one press, it's, er...

0:21:42 > 0:21:45..1,275 litres.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48- Wow.- It's very precise.

0:21:49 > 0:21:50Wow.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Pure, pure grape juice.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Wow, that is really, that's really...

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Unbelievably sweet and beautiful.

0:22:06 > 0:22:07It's quite heady, actually.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11It's very nice when we taste the first juice, to imagine how

0:22:11 > 0:22:15the champagne is going to be in three, four years.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Vincent's grape juice begins its journey to become champagne.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27From the press, it travels through a hole in the floor

0:22:27 > 0:22:29to oak barrels in Vincent's cellar.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34This is where the first fermentation happens.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37A perfect marriage of the natural sugar and yeast in the juice,

0:22:37 > 0:22:40- that produces... - SHE SINGS FANFARE

0:22:40 > 0:22:41..alcohol!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43- Oh, look, it's prickling.- Yeah.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Oh, my heavens.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56The wine stays around ten months in barrels

0:22:56 > 0:23:01after the fermentation for the edging to be very clear

0:23:01 > 0:23:05and to have some oxygenation and more body.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09When I taste the wine...

0:23:10 > 0:23:14..one day I decide, now it is ready to be bottled.

0:23:14 > 0:23:20Vincent then makes his blend - or assemblage, as it's called -

0:23:20 > 0:23:22selecting from the three grape varieties.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27He uses all three for one type of champagne.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31But he'll also make others using just one.

0:23:31 > 0:23:36A blanc de blanc champagne is made with just chardonnay, par exemple.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40Whatever the blend, it's then transferred to bottles,

0:23:40 > 0:23:42and it's here where the magic happens.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48A second fermentation, using added yeast and sugar...

0:23:48 > 0:23:52..that produces those all-important bubbles of carbon dioxide.

0:23:55 > 0:24:01They'll stay 18 months to seven years.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02- Here?- Like that.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05- Do you have to turn them?- We turn.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07The bottles are stored upside down

0:24:07 > 0:24:10and are continually turned a quarter at a time

0:24:10 > 0:24:13to allow the yeast sediment to drift down to the neck of the bottle.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17- First and fourth.- No, no, no.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19- Other way.- She's left-handed.

0:24:19 > 0:24:20I'm left-handed, I'm hopeless.

0:24:20 > 0:24:24Vincent grabs a five-year-old bottle and demonstrates how you get that

0:24:24 > 0:24:27sediment out, using the six bar of pressure

0:24:27 > 0:24:29that's built up in the bottle.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33This, ladies and gents, is called degorgement in French.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35And degorgement in English.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40THEY GASP

0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Wow!- That's a proper explosion.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Perfect.- It's very easy.- And it's out, the sediment is gone.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52And the champagne stay, and the sediment go.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54- It's gone.- How utterly brilliant.

0:24:57 > 0:24:58It's magic.

0:25:03 > 0:25:07Once disgorged, a little sugar might then be added, the dosage,

0:25:07 > 0:25:09depending how sweet the maker wanted the champagne,

0:25:09 > 0:25:12before being corked and labelled.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16But we're not going to bother with any of that.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20- A vous. Merci, a votre visite. - Merci.- Cheers.- Cheers.

0:25:21 > 0:25:22Mmm.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27It smells of my old convent corridors.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31- I think it could be the cellar... - Oh, it could be the cellar, OK.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34..actually, rather than the champagne!

0:25:34 > 0:25:35What a nice life you have.

0:25:35 > 0:25:41It's fantastic, because we produce champagne, the best we can,

0:25:41 > 0:25:46but with the spirit of our grandparents, parents.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49If you sloosh it about in your mouth...

0:25:49 > 0:25:50it fizzes up like mad.

0:25:53 > 0:25:54Delicious.

0:25:54 > 0:25:55That chewing which,

0:25:55 > 0:25:58what wine-tasting, always, people do. Yeah.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59SHE COUGHS

0:25:59 > 0:26:01You see, I knew that was a mistake.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03I knew that was wrong. I shouldn't have said that.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06I tried to chew it and it didn't work!

0:26:06 > 0:26:07LAUGHTER

0:26:07 > 0:26:09SHE SLURPS

0:26:09 > 0:26:12- Darling, don't snort it, just drink it, sweetie.- Oh.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Fabulous.- Fantastique.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19That is the one that we're...want...

0:26:19 > 0:26:21THEY LAUGH DRUNKENLY

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Right, now, this was one, and this was one.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31And this was one. We haven't had much out of them.

0:26:31 > 0:26:35- This one.- And that box. We're having the box as well, aren't we?

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Back in Epernay, a short walk from our B&B

0:26:40 > 0:26:42sits Leclerc Briant.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49They're a larger operation than Georges Laval,

0:26:49 > 0:26:52producing 140,000 bottles a year.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57They've even got a machine that disgorges at one end...

0:27:00 > 0:27:05..and corks at the other, squeezing the cork and then pushing it home

0:27:05 > 0:27:06with six kilos of pressure.

0:27:10 > 0:27:14There's something so satisfying about the labelling machine.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Oh, imagine if you had that just to get ready in the morning.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19And here's your lovely hair going on!

0:27:28 > 0:27:32But what sets Leclerc Briant apart from most other champagne houses

0:27:32 > 0:27:36is their approach. They go beyond organic to a system that's called

0:27:36 > 0:27:38biodynamic - a more spiritual approach.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44We are shown around by marketing man, Pierre,

0:27:44 > 0:27:46and head winemaker, Herve,

0:27:46 > 0:27:48a man who clearly never stops experimenting

0:27:48 > 0:27:52in his pursuit of the perfect fizz.

0:27:52 > 0:27:56Alongside oak barrels, they have terracotta,

0:27:56 > 0:27:59and even one lined with pure gold.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02The moon and the sun are very important for the first fermentation,

0:28:02 > 0:28:05and the gold is in direct connection with the sun.

0:28:07 > 0:28:10Gorgeous, though. Who made this, where was this made?

0:28:10 > 0:28:12- It's...- In Bordeaux. - In Bordeaux, yes.

0:28:12 > 0:28:13A company from Bordeaux, yes.

0:28:13 > 0:28:15It's the first one they've made?

0:28:15 > 0:28:17- Yes.- Yes, it's the only one in the world.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19Yes, the only one in the world.

0:28:19 > 0:28:23Hmm, so, how does it feel to be grape juice inside a golden barrel,

0:28:23 > 0:28:25you ask? Well, there's only one way to find out!

0:28:27 > 0:28:29Jennifer, stop it.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Are you getting anything there, babe?

0:28:32 > 0:28:36If I'm not 20 years younger when I come out, I'll be very disappointed.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37LAUGHTER

0:28:39 > 0:28:43It's quite a strange sensation, but I think being in a barrel

0:28:43 > 0:28:46is quite a strange sensation anyway!

0:28:49 > 0:28:52But perhaps Leclerc Briant's most ambitious experiment to date

0:28:52 > 0:28:55sits in a cage in the corner of the bottle room.

0:28:56 > 0:29:00A 2012 vintage that's been submerged at sea.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05- How long did it stay underwater? - One year.

0:29:05 > 0:29:09- A year?- Yeah, a year at 60 metres deep.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14So the pressure inside and outside is more or less the same.

0:29:15 > 0:29:17But there is also the darkness,

0:29:17 > 0:29:21the elimination of the artificial electromagnetic field,

0:29:21 > 0:29:25and also because those Bordeaux are made with the biodynamic approach,

0:29:25 > 0:29:29so in the sea, you have a lot of life, you know,

0:29:29 > 0:29:33so there is a close connection between our wine, our living wine,

0:29:33 > 0:29:35and the living sea.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37What you call this wine?

0:29:37 > 0:29:39- Abyss.- Abyss?- Abyss, yes.

0:29:41 > 0:29:45The time felt right to... dive into the Abyss.

0:29:47 > 0:29:48Well...

0:29:49 > 0:29:52My gosh, that's a completely different aroma, isn't it?

0:29:54 > 0:29:56A bouquet different.

0:29:57 > 0:30:00That's very li... I mean, it feels...

0:30:00 > 0:30:02- Lively.- ..lively, isn't it?

0:30:02 > 0:30:05Yes. You can feel it in your body, no?

0:30:05 > 0:30:08You can feel this energy coming from the sea.

0:30:08 > 0:30:11I was quite cynical, but I think it does make a big difference.

0:30:13 > 0:30:17Harvest 2012, disgorgement, February of 2016.

0:30:17 > 0:30:20Submerged, March 2016, depth 60 metres.

0:30:20 > 0:30:24- GPS?- GPS, it's...- It's where it is.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27- The location. - Latitude and longitude.

0:30:27 > 0:30:30- So you can go down and steal it. - Go and find the bottles! - LAUGHTER

0:30:30 > 0:30:33So, yes, you can find the bottles!

0:30:33 > 0:30:37Next day, and having left the abyss, we're heading out of Epernay,

0:30:37 > 0:30:39up into the surrounding hills to the village of Hautvillers.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48It's stunningly beautiful, and strangely deserted,

0:30:48 > 0:30:52and this morning we've come to pay our respects, because, 300 years

0:30:52 > 0:30:55ago, a monk, actually called Dom Perignon,

0:30:55 > 0:30:57lived and worked here as the cellar master

0:30:57 > 0:30:59at the local Benedictine abbey.

0:31:01 > 0:31:04He's considered by many to be the inventor of champagne,

0:31:04 > 0:31:07the man who discovered that all-important second fermentation

0:31:07 > 0:31:09that produces the bubbles.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13Unfortunately, Dom Perignon is actually dead,

0:31:13 > 0:31:15so our guide is Meganne.

0:31:25 > 0:31:27Mm, this is beautiful.

0:31:31 > 0:31:35In here, you have the grave of Dom Perignon, just right there.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37- BOTH:- Look at that!

0:31:39 > 0:31:40Amen.

0:31:43 > 0:31:47- Does it honestly start with a "hic"? - Hic! Oh, stop it! - LAUGHTER

0:31:47 > 0:31:50His actual dates, so he was 60...

0:31:50 > 0:31:53- 75.- 76.- 76.

0:31:53 > 0:31:54That's old.

0:31:56 > 0:32:00Is it true that when Dom Perignon tasted champagne, he said,

0:32:00 > 0:32:04- "Come quickly, I am tasting the stars"?- Yes.- He said that?

0:32:04 > 0:32:06- That's true?- Yes, it's true.

0:32:06 > 0:32:12It was really hard work, so he was very proud of his work, so, yes,

0:32:12 > 0:32:15- it's what's like, stars. - It still is.- It still is.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22We decide to swap the car keys for a small bottle of champagne

0:32:22 > 0:32:25and toast the great Dom P.

0:32:25 > 0:32:26It's not even Dom Perignon, actually.

0:32:26 > 0:32:31No, no, it's not. It's a good view, isn't it? Makes up for it.

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Look, they're picking there.

0:32:33 > 0:32:35Salut!

0:32:35 > 0:32:37You can see everywhere, dotted...

0:32:37 > 0:32:39- Yeah.- ..little bent backs.

0:32:39 > 0:32:43But the industry that Dom Perignon is said to have started over 300

0:32:43 > 0:32:45years ago is due for a bit of a shake-up this year.

0:32:46 > 0:32:50- OK, listen to this.- OK. - "Faced with rising worldwide demand,

0:32:50 > 0:32:53"the Government body that regulates where champagne can be grown...

0:32:53 > 0:32:56- Mm.- .."has proposed expanding the area,

0:32:56 > 0:33:02"currently 327 square kilometres, for the very first time since 1937.

0:33:02 > 0:33:04"From 2017," i.e. now,

0:33:04 > 0:33:08"40 very lucky villages are likely to start planting their very first

0:33:08 > 0:33:11- "official champagne vines."- Wow! - "Not surprisingly, the exact

0:33:11 > 0:33:15"delineation of the new vineyards has been hugely controversial.

0:33:15 > 0:33:19"Not least because the value of land declared champagne-worthy will rise

0:33:19 > 0:33:22"by up to 30,000%,

0:33:22 > 0:33:27- "to about 1 million euros per hectare."- Oh!

0:33:27 > 0:33:31A hectare is eight acres. So eight acres, which isn't really very huge.

0:33:31 > 0:33:36- No, it's a couple of these squares. - Eight acres is sort of that. - Yeah.- A million.- Blimey!

0:33:36 > 0:33:38Do you want any more?

0:33:40 > 0:33:42LAUGHTER

0:33:42 > 0:33:47- What? What?- When you're eating on camera...- What? - LAUGHTER

0:33:47 > 0:33:50..I've forgotten how to eat.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53- You've forgotten how to eat?- You go...

0:33:53 > 0:33:55LAUGHTER

0:33:55 > 0:33:58I'm going to eat this...

0:33:58 > 0:34:00like a normal...

0:34:00 > 0:34:03- Little bit of Bolly?- Yeah, just a smidge.

0:34:03 > 0:34:06- Do you want some Bolly, darling? - Yeah, just a smidge.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10Bollinger was always Eddy and Patsy's champagne of choice.

0:34:11 > 0:34:14- Have you got the Bolly?- Got the Bolly.- Keep them on. In your bag?

0:34:14 > 0:34:17- Yup.- Ready, ready.- Right.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20Ready. Ready. Ready, now!

0:34:26 > 0:34:29Eddy, I'm going round again.

0:34:29 > 0:34:31- All right, I'll see you on the bottom.- This way.

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Bollinger, or "Boll-ang-jhay" are based a few miles from Epernay in

0:34:36 > 0:34:40the village of Ay and, rather excitingly, we've had an invitation.

0:34:45 > 0:34:48It's quite a special day for us,

0:34:48 > 0:34:51so we thought we'd treat ourselves and travel there in style.

0:34:53 > 0:34:57So you find us drifting along the Marne Canal in a vintage vessel.

0:34:57 > 0:34:59- Freezing.- Yeah.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02If it wasn't for Eddy and Patsy, we would not be here...

0:35:02 > 0:35:07- No.- ..dribbling down the canal towards Bollinger.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11And at the helm is the rather charmant Jerome.

0:35:11 > 0:35:17- Yeah, thanks for that, Pats. Jerome...- Yeah.- Where does the canal go?- We're on the way to Paris.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20We are three days by boat from Paris.

0:35:20 > 0:35:23So would they send wine on the barges to Paris?

0:35:23 > 0:35:27Yeah, yes, this is why champagne was so famous, too,

0:35:27 > 0:35:32because this river really did a lot for champagne, you know?

0:35:32 > 0:35:35- Yeah.- Because we are next from Paris,

0:35:35 > 0:35:39- and with this river it's easier to sell, to sell wine.- Oh, OK.

0:35:39 > 0:35:43Oh, actually, I'm going to...I'm going to tuck under now.

0:35:43 > 0:35:45Just cos the wind's coming in this direction.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47It's playing havoc with my hair!

0:35:47 > 0:35:50LAUGHTER

0:35:50 > 0:35:54Most of my life is spent thinking, "Has my hair gone flat?

0:35:54 > 0:35:55"Has my hair gone flat?"

0:35:55 > 0:36:00I've got a theory that ours is the first generation

0:36:00 > 0:36:02that doesn't know what to do with its hair as you get older.

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Because in the olden days,

0:36:04 > 0:36:07you would go grey and you would usually have it permed.

0:36:07 > 0:36:10And then you looked quite normally like an old person, a pensioner,

0:36:10 > 0:36:13a grandmother. But for some reason now, with all the modern,

0:36:13 > 0:36:17new-fangled things you can do, and maybe the vanity, whatever,

0:36:17 > 0:36:20people like me are stuck trying to look like I did in the 1960s,

0:36:20 > 0:36:23because you don't know any other way to look.

0:36:23 > 0:36:25And I don't know how to look old.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28I mean, I look old, I obviously am old, but I don't know how to...

0:36:28 > 0:36:31- accomplish it.- Well, the lucky people are the people whose hair

0:36:31 > 0:36:36just goes white, like that, and you go, "Well, that's lovely and white."

0:36:36 > 0:36:39Let's have some Bolly, darling. Let's have some Bolly.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41LAUGHTER

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Let's have some Bolly and go and see Mick.

0:36:43 > 0:36:45- He'll be there. - LAUGHTER

0:36:47 > 0:36:49- Here we are, Ed. - CORK POPS

0:36:53 > 0:36:57The boat stops for brunch, and the charming Jerome serves up some fine

0:36:57 > 0:36:59French finger food.

0:37:01 > 0:37:03That's beautiful.

0:37:03 > 0:37:05Merci beaucoup, Jerome.

0:37:05 > 0:37:10This reminds me of when Eddy went on the diet where she would only eat

0:37:10 > 0:37:13- dolly food.- Mm.

0:37:15 > 0:37:18And the idea was that you can have a plate of food, but the plate can

0:37:18 > 0:37:23only be a dolly plate, and you can only eat with dolly cutlery.

0:37:23 > 0:37:26Of course, most of her diets were actually just my diets.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Clearly we're being pampered,

0:37:28 > 0:37:32but not every job we've done has been like this.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35Actually, nearly all of mine have, but you're a bit different.

0:37:35 > 0:37:39We get on to talking about the film you made in the '90s, where you

0:37:39 > 0:37:41- spent nine days alone on a desert island.- That was it.

0:37:41 > 0:37:43Gee, that burst!

0:37:43 > 0:37:45Look, you could see the stuff coming out!

0:37:45 > 0:37:47It's cracked, so I won't be able to open it that way, but you can see,

0:37:47 > 0:37:51- look. - SHE GASPS

0:37:51 > 0:37:52Why did you sign up for that?

0:37:52 > 0:37:54Ab Fab, we'd done the first series...

0:37:54 > 0:37:58- Oh, yeah, we had.- Yeah, and they said, the BBC said,

0:37:58 > 0:38:02"Oh, wouldn't it be funny," their unerring quality of humour,

0:38:02 > 0:38:05"wouldn't it be funny if Patsy was cast away on a desert island with no

0:38:05 > 0:38:07"voddy, no champagne and no vodka?"

0:38:07 > 0:38:11- Oh, that's right.- I said, "Well, that would be funny for about a minute, because Patsy,

0:38:11 > 0:38:13"A, she doesn't exist without Eddy, and B, and B,

0:38:13 > 0:38:17- "she'd just go, 'Oh, I've got no vodka,' and then she'd die."- Also she doesn't actually exist.

0:38:17 > 0:38:21- She doesn't exist, no, exactly. - No.- You know. "But," I said,

0:38:21 > 0:38:24"I'd love to see if I could exist with jolly little."

0:38:24 > 0:38:27And I said, "I'd love to do it, but as long as there's no cheating.

0:38:27 > 0:38:30"I want to try to exist on a desert island on my own."

0:38:31 > 0:38:34I had the clothes I stood up in,

0:38:34 > 0:38:37I had some sharp knives to cut stuff and to make firewood.

0:38:37 > 0:38:41I didn't have matches. I had the flint to make my fire with, so it was tough.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43I lived like an animal for about nine days.

0:38:45 > 0:38:47So strange, coming back, because I didn't have a mirror,

0:38:47 > 0:38:49I didn't know what I looked like,

0:38:49 > 0:38:51so eventually you don't care what you look like.

0:38:51 > 0:38:53And I looked in a mirror, and after nine days, this is strange,

0:38:53 > 0:38:56Jennifer, I found I'd forgotten what I looked like.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58And it was the most appalling shock I've ever had to stand in front of

0:38:58 > 0:39:01- this weird woman.- I have the opposite, I always know what I look like,

0:39:01 > 0:39:03I'm never shocked when I look in the mirror.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06You say, "Oh, my God, I was hoping for better."

0:39:06 > 0:39:08What do you see when you look in the mirror, darling?

0:39:08 > 0:39:10Me looking fabulous, what do you see?

0:39:12 > 0:39:14A quarter of a century ago,

0:39:14 > 0:39:16Eddy and Patsy were happily mistreating Bollinger.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18It was used and abused.

0:39:24 > 0:39:27It's therefore shocking and not a little humbling that, all these

0:39:27 > 0:39:30years later, here we are at Bollinger's headquarters,

0:39:30 > 0:39:33being welcomed by the President of the company,

0:39:33 > 0:39:36- Jerome Philippon. - So nice to welcome you here.

0:39:36 > 0:39:40- How lovely. Oh, this is fantastic. - Absolutely lovely to see you.

0:39:40 > 0:39:44- We're in Bollyland.- Bollywood. - In Bollywood.- We are.- Yeah. LAUGHTER

0:39:49 > 0:39:53Bollinger don't do tours, their buildings aren't open to the public,

0:39:53 > 0:39:55so we're very honoured to be shown around,

0:39:55 > 0:39:58especially since they're slap bang in the middle of harvest,

0:39:58 > 0:40:02busy filling barrel after barrel with this year's grape juice.

0:40:02 > 0:40:05How many barrels are we looking at?

0:40:05 > 0:40:10- How many barrels?- We have a collection of 3,500 barrels.

0:40:10 > 0:40:14At Bollinger, we only use what we call la cuvee.

0:40:14 > 0:40:16La cuvee is the first press.

0:40:16 > 0:40:19When we press grapes in order to extract the juice...

0:40:20 > 0:40:23..the very best is the first juice.

0:40:23 > 0:40:28When you don't start damaging the skin or the grape itself, the wood.

0:40:28 > 0:40:30The second press is called la taille

0:40:30 > 0:40:32and at Bollinger we don't process it,

0:40:32 > 0:40:33we sell it to some of our colleagues.

0:40:38 > 0:40:39I'll go first, right?

0:40:44 > 0:40:46Oh, it's a long staircase!

0:40:46 > 0:40:49My God. We're going into the bowels of the Earth.

0:40:49 > 0:40:50And as we go down,

0:40:50 > 0:40:52it's getting a bit colder.

0:40:52 > 0:40:54Yes. I can feel it's getting...

0:40:54 > 0:40:56SHE CHUCKLES

0:41:00 > 0:41:04So you, please, follow me because there are 6km.

0:41:04 > 0:41:08of corridors, so you can get lost here.

0:41:08 > 0:41:10- So, please.- 6km? - We try to stay together.

0:41:11 > 0:41:12My God!

0:41:16 > 0:41:18Worth remembering that if we did get lost down here...

0:41:18 > 0:41:21- Yeah.- There's 10 million bottles of champagne.

0:41:21 > 0:41:24- So it wouldn't be all bad. - Hmm, fabulous.

0:41:24 > 0:41:25My God, it goes on for ever!

0:41:25 > 0:41:28- I can't really take it in. - It's like under a railway bridge.

0:41:28 > 0:41:30I really can't take it in.

0:41:33 > 0:41:3631 and...

0:41:36 > 0:41:3931 columns of 2,000 bottles,

0:41:39 > 0:41:43which makes 62,000 bottles of Grand Annee Blanc 2014.

0:41:43 > 0:41:46To be sold ten years from now approximately.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49Oh, my. Who's taken these top bottles here?

0:41:49 > 0:41:51- Sorry?- These ones are missing.

0:41:51 > 0:41:53When we are using that tray

0:41:53 > 0:41:56for bottles not be stolen, or drunk by some of our workers,

0:41:56 > 0:41:59we know exactly, this is 2,000 bottles.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01OK. So if we were to remove one, we know.

0:42:01 > 0:42:02Ah. I see.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05Exactly 2,000 each.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07But if I just removed that...

0:42:07 > 0:42:09No. No, OK.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11- OK.- You'll go to jail, I guess.

0:42:11 > 0:42:14It's so damp.

0:42:14 > 0:42:16I like the idea, too, that nothing was...

0:42:16 > 0:42:17ALARM BELL

0:42:17 > 0:42:20- Tiens! C'est quoi?!- Who's taken a bottle of champagne?

0:42:20 > 0:42:23Half past one. Time to go back to work.

0:42:26 > 0:42:27Down?

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Deeper and deeper within the tunnels we go...

0:42:31 > 0:42:34before arriving at secure vaults, where they keep a collection

0:42:34 > 0:42:36of their most precious and unique vintages,

0:42:36 > 0:42:38from, well, since they began.

0:42:39 > 0:42:42The 1973 vintage of Bollinger.

0:42:42 > 0:42:44These bottles were served

0:42:44 > 0:42:47at the wedding of Lady Diana and Prince Charles.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50- Really?- Yeah. But we produced more than what was needed

0:42:50 > 0:42:55and so we still have a significant inventory of 1973...

0:42:55 > 0:42:57They brought it on sale or return, did they? So they...

0:42:57 > 0:42:59They didn't buy the whole lot,

0:42:59 > 0:43:01so we've kept it and, in fact, it's a great vintage.

0:43:03 > 0:43:07Some very old wines from a given vineyard,

0:43:07 > 0:43:09like Mesnil, 1886.

0:43:09 > 0:43:11One bottle of 1904.

0:43:11 > 0:43:14A large collection of bottles from the First World War.

0:43:14 > 0:43:161914.

0:43:16 > 0:43:20- Wow.- Jerome, tell me, if those wines are 1914,

0:43:20 > 0:43:22all the men will have gone to fight the war...

0:43:22 > 0:43:24- Yeah.- How was the harvest brought in?

0:43:24 > 0:43:28The harvest was done by the women, who were staying behind,

0:43:28 > 0:43:31and in the region, here in Champagne,

0:43:31 > 0:43:33all the men had gone for war.

0:43:33 > 0:43:35- Mm.- So it's...

0:43:35 > 0:43:36..so special to see that.

0:43:36 > 0:43:41And the ultimate piece, Bollinger was founded in 1829,

0:43:41 > 0:43:43- so this is really... - So this is the first?

0:43:43 > 0:43:46..the first bottles of Bollinger.

0:43:46 > 0:43:47Look at those!

0:43:47 > 0:43:491830.

0:43:49 > 0:43:52Oh, how amazing.

0:43:52 > 0:43:55Now, what... Do you just keep these or will you sell them?

0:43:55 > 0:43:58No, we... We don't sell them.

0:43:58 > 0:44:02We have sold a few bottles at a significant auction last year,

0:44:02 > 0:44:06in New York, done by Sotheby's, so it was the first time we did it.

0:44:06 > 0:44:09So we sold a number, we sold a bottle of 1914, for example.

0:44:09 > 0:44:12If it's not very vulgar, would you tell me what they raised?

0:44:13 > 0:44:16- It's a bit vulgar.- Yeah, a few hundred thousand dollars.

0:44:16 > 0:44:17Wow.

0:44:20 > 0:44:22Producing over three million bottles of champagne a year,

0:44:22 > 0:44:25Bollinger is big business.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27My goodness.

0:44:27 > 0:44:30No. We're so close to the surface!

0:44:30 > 0:44:33The relationship between one of the most prestigious champagne houses

0:44:33 > 0:44:36and a television comedy called Absolutely Fabulous

0:44:36 > 0:44:39is so friendly now but one wonders whether it's always been like that.

0:44:42 > 0:44:43Did Ab Fab lower the tone?

0:44:43 > 0:44:45- Were you ashamed of us? - It did lower the tone!

0:44:45 > 0:44:47Were you a bit ashamed of us?

0:44:47 > 0:44:49We are so proud of you today.

0:44:49 > 0:44:51I guess, at the beginning,...

0:44:51 > 0:44:53- it was a shock, for sure. - Sure. It was a shock.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55I think... Yeah.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57But Ab Fab is absolutely part now.

0:44:57 > 0:45:01We sold the reserve magnums and Ab Fab is part of the DNA of Bollinger.

0:45:01 > 0:45:05We are really convinced of its big impact on Bollinger.

0:45:05 > 0:45:08I've spent nights being afraid of coming here,

0:45:08 > 0:45:10in case you were cross with us.

0:45:10 > 0:45:13No, no, no. We aren't.

0:45:15 > 0:45:16Our reward for not destroying the brand

0:45:16 > 0:45:19is lunch in the original Bollinger family residence.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24An honour they've actually only given to the Queen and the Pope.

0:45:24 > 0:45:27- Jennifer, is that true? - No, no, it's not true.

0:45:27 > 0:45:28Just a very big honour.

0:45:31 > 0:45:32Well, isn't this charming?

0:45:32 > 0:45:34- And there she is.- Yeah, there is.

0:45:34 > 0:45:35The lady.

0:45:36 > 0:45:39This is where Madame Lily Bollinger lived.

0:45:39 > 0:45:42When she took the helm of the company in the 1940s,

0:45:42 > 0:45:45she transformed it, endlessly travelling,

0:45:45 > 0:45:46promoting their champagne,

0:45:46 > 0:45:49and she turned Bollinger into the global success it is today.

0:45:51 > 0:45:55So it's time to sample a few of our champagnes.

0:45:55 > 0:45:56This is almost your wish.

0:45:56 > 0:45:58It's my dream, isn't it?

0:45:58 > 0:46:00Glasses at the ready.

0:46:00 > 0:46:02Oh! Whoa!

0:46:02 > 0:46:04- The magnum has come. - A couple of things I mentioned.

0:46:04 > 0:46:07I said that magnums are always better than bottles,

0:46:07 > 0:46:09so for three of us, I think, to start with a magnum

0:46:09 > 0:46:11would be appropriate.

0:46:11 > 0:46:15- Yes.- And I picked the year of 1992,

0:46:15 > 0:46:1725 years old champagne,

0:46:17 > 0:46:20but more importantly, from my records,

0:46:20 > 0:46:25it is the very first year in 1992 that Ab Fab was broadcast.

0:46:25 > 0:46:27- So we thought...- That's so special!

0:46:27 > 0:46:30Let's have a glass of Bollinger from 1992.

0:46:30 > 0:46:32Oh, let's do that!

0:46:32 > 0:46:35Oh, Jerome, this honestly might be the high point of my life.

0:46:36 > 0:46:38Look at that colour.

0:46:38 > 0:46:40Can you see that colour against the light?

0:46:40 > 0:46:43I feel like I almost want to cry that this is a 1992 bottle.

0:46:43 > 0:46:45Oh, don't start crying. Don't start crying.

0:46:45 > 0:46:46No, I'm not going to start crying.

0:46:46 > 0:46:49- A vous, Jerome.- OK. Thank you so much for visiting us.

0:46:49 > 0:46:52For your love and support, really.

0:46:52 > 0:46:55- Oh, merci, merci. Much appreciated. Well.- Thanks, babe.

0:46:55 > 0:46:56It's all been worth it.

0:46:56 > 0:47:00- From the house of Bollinger. - Thank you.- OK.

0:47:01 > 0:47:02Oh!

0:47:03 > 0:47:05Look at that, what does that smell of?

0:47:06 > 0:47:09It smells of 30 years of success, darling!

0:47:09 > 0:47:10Exactly.

0:47:13 > 0:47:15That is actually delicious.

0:47:15 > 0:47:19- Oh, fantastic. - Oh, Jerome, that is superb.

0:47:19 > 0:47:20Superb.

0:47:25 > 0:47:29- The chances of ever getting that again.- No, never.- Never.

0:47:29 > 0:47:33I tell you what, that '92 was just an Absolutely Fabulous champagne.

0:47:33 > 0:47:35- Oh, my gosh.- Yeah, wasn't it?

0:47:35 > 0:47:38I mean, think it's fair to say that the spirits of Eddy and Patsy

0:47:38 > 0:47:41- were with us in Madame Bolly's dining room that day.- Oh!

0:47:45 > 0:47:48And as the sun went down on a very special day,

0:47:48 > 0:47:50we were in the forest high above Epernay

0:47:50 > 0:47:54and though we were still quite full of 25-year-old champagne...

0:47:56 > 0:47:57Oh, careful.

0:47:57 > 0:48:00..our director made us walk on a rope bridge.

0:48:00 > 0:48:04I feel like I'm about to have won I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

0:48:04 > 0:48:09Which leads to a tree house with a difference called Perching Bar.

0:48:09 > 0:48:12Yeah, just an excuse to sit and have a glass and reminisce.

0:48:12 > 0:48:14Yeah. We weren't drunk at all.

0:48:14 > 0:48:16I can't remember why we were there.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20But this is quite Ab Fab, this, um...

0:48:20 > 0:48:22- Mm.- This.

0:48:22 > 0:48:24Patsy would sit down, Eddy would sit down,

0:48:24 > 0:48:26it would just break and fall to the floor.

0:48:26 > 0:48:27Patsy, looking for something,

0:48:27 > 0:48:29would gradually twist hers round and round

0:48:29 > 0:48:32and then it would unwhip very fast.

0:48:32 > 0:48:33With the cork flying!

0:48:34 > 0:48:37I think the thing that still makes me enjoy it

0:48:37 > 0:48:39and enjoy the thought of it

0:48:39 > 0:48:42is the fact that you could think of the worst thing

0:48:42 > 0:48:45you could possibly do in any situation

0:48:45 > 0:48:47and they would accomplish it.

0:48:49 > 0:48:50The worst faux pas.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54The worst rudeness, the worst...

0:48:54 > 0:48:56Because the only lived for each other's, you know...

0:48:56 > 0:48:59- Mm.- Each one spurred the other one on.

0:48:59 > 0:49:01Do you remember the Bibendum bar?

0:49:01 > 0:49:04I think the problem is the room is the wrong shape.

0:49:04 > 0:49:06If the room was a circle instead of a square...

0:49:06 > 0:49:09- SPLASHING - That's a possibility.

0:49:09 > 0:49:10It would help, wouldn't it, now?

0:49:10 > 0:49:12And everything wouldn't have be... SPLASHING

0:49:12 > 0:49:15- squished up against all... - Yeah. Yeah,

0:49:15 > 0:49:17It's you. Let's see.

0:49:17 > 0:49:19And because you have no organs...

0:49:19 > 0:49:21Or bladder or anything, really,

0:49:21 > 0:49:24you were drinking and it was just dribbling out.

0:49:24 > 0:49:26SPLASHING

0:49:27 > 0:49:31Oh. Sorry. Could you close off that little tap?

0:49:31 > 0:49:33It was revolting.

0:49:33 > 0:49:36And only at Christmas did she ever eat anything.

0:49:36 > 0:49:38Once you ate a crisp.

0:49:38 > 0:49:41In 1974, or something like that.

0:49:41 > 0:49:43But quite often we could drink, and drink, and drink,

0:49:43 > 0:49:45and we didn't seem to get drunk, funnily enough.

0:49:45 > 0:49:48We drank a lot but, occasionally, when we were drunk,

0:49:48 > 0:49:50- it wasn't good, on the whole. - Driving bad.

0:49:50 > 0:49:52Bad. Oh, driving in Hyde Park bad.

0:49:52 > 0:49:55Can you step out of the car, please, madam?

0:49:55 > 0:49:56CAR HORN

0:49:56 > 0:49:58Then we got stopped by the police and were so drunk.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00I mean, what the hell...

0:50:02 > 0:50:04Oh, you pig, what you want?

0:50:04 > 0:50:05What are you doing to her?

0:50:05 > 0:50:07CAR HORN

0:50:07 > 0:50:09You couldn't get your legs out of a certain position,

0:50:09 > 0:50:11you were so stuck in the tiny car.

0:50:13 > 0:50:15Eddy, I'll help.

0:50:15 > 0:50:16Hang on.

0:50:16 > 0:50:17You pig!

0:50:22 > 0:50:24Oh, I do miss them. I miss them.

0:50:26 > 0:50:27Oh, God.

0:50:34 > 0:50:37We are back where we started in the village of Cumieres

0:50:37 > 0:50:40and Vincent Laval's team of grape pickers

0:50:40 > 0:50:41are in a party mood.

0:50:46 > 0:50:48The harvest is over.

0:50:48 > 0:50:51But Vincent has one more job to do.

0:50:57 > 0:51:00The production of this year's pink champagne.

0:51:01 > 0:51:03Using the most traditional of tools,

0:51:03 > 0:51:07feet are used to get the colour from the skin of the red grapes.

0:51:07 > 0:51:10What's known in the trade as maceration.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12FRENCH PRONUNCIATION: "Maceration".

0:51:12 > 0:51:16Looks like there's going to be some kind of crazy WWF

0:51:16 > 0:51:19ladies' wrestling match in wine.

0:51:21 > 0:51:23Hey!

0:51:23 > 0:51:25Here they come!

0:51:26 > 0:51:27Yes, it's really

0:51:27 > 0:51:29to get a rose.

0:51:29 > 0:51:30When we press by feet,

0:51:30 > 0:51:34we have the maceration between the juice and the skin,

0:51:34 > 0:51:40and we let, like that, the maceration for, probably, one day.

0:51:40 > 0:51:43- OK. Right.- To keep the colour of the skin?

0:51:43 > 0:51:47- To keep the colour. But just pink. - Yeah.

0:51:47 > 0:51:48- Not red.- Yeah.- Just pink.

0:51:48 > 0:51:52- It looks hard work. - It really is, isn't it?

0:51:52 > 0:51:53Yeah.

0:51:53 > 0:51:55God, it never stops.

0:51:55 > 0:51:58There had been some crazy talk that we'd be asked to do this.

0:51:58 > 0:52:00I know I'd look good in the shorts

0:52:00 > 0:52:02but probably not as good as them.

0:52:02 > 0:52:06- It would have actually been tragic, you know... If we'd... - It would actually have been.

0:52:06 > 0:52:08It would have been ghastly.

0:52:08 > 0:52:11There'd have been a ghastly silence hanging in the room.

0:52:11 > 0:52:13- There would have been gasps... - As two grandmothers.

0:52:13 > 0:52:18And one really serious pensioner was plunging about in this,

0:52:18 > 0:52:20in our big pants!

0:52:22 > 0:52:24Coming out. Here they come.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27Girls is coming out.

0:52:27 > 0:52:29Whoa! Brava!

0:52:29 > 0:52:31Bravo!

0:52:38 > 0:52:41As the pink champagne party continues,

0:52:41 > 0:52:43we bid farewell to the nicest man,

0:52:43 > 0:52:45with probably the nicest job in the world.

0:52:45 > 0:52:48Salut, Vincent. We've learned so much.

0:52:48 > 0:52:50- Yeah, honestly. - It's been brilliant.

0:52:50 > 0:52:52- Merci. - We shall think of you forever.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Since it's our last night in France,

0:53:08 > 0:53:11we've been allowed to stay somewhere a bit special tonight.

0:53:11 > 0:53:15- Thank you.- A few miles from Epernay sits the little village of Etoges.

0:53:15 > 0:53:19- Mm!- Rather splendidly, has a chateau-based hotel, sensible.

0:53:22 > 0:53:25Eddy and Patsy never did find the chateau all those years ago.

0:53:25 > 0:53:29They just drank and played ping-pong in a draughty little cottage.

0:53:29 > 0:53:30014...

0:53:39 > 0:53:41Pats, Pats, come here, quickly.

0:53:43 > 0:53:44Oh, God.

0:53:47 > 0:53:49Fa-fou-fou-fa...

0:53:49 > 0:53:50Sh!

0:53:50 > 0:53:51A-va-va...

0:54:02 > 0:54:03La-la-la-la!

0:54:03 > 0:54:05In my lovely room.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08We are, to put it mildly, slightly overexcited.

0:54:08 > 0:54:10Doing my hair.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13And listening to the fountain playing.

0:54:14 > 0:54:15My bed.

0:54:15 > 0:54:16KNOCK AT DOOR

0:54:18 > 0:54:20Hello, Jennifer?

0:54:20 > 0:54:22No, come in. No, stop doing...

0:54:22 > 0:54:24Come in. Ah.

0:54:24 > 0:54:26- Good evening. - Come into my lovely room.

0:54:26 > 0:54:29Are you ready? Oh, your humble abode.

0:54:29 > 0:54:30Are you ready, my dear?

0:54:30 > 0:54:33I'm thinking if I should do something charming with my hair.

0:54:33 > 0:54:35- Well...- It's not very charming...

0:54:35 > 0:54:38No, I haven't had time to do anything, like wash my hair or...

0:54:38 > 0:54:40Well, no, I haven't washed my hair all week.

0:54:40 > 0:54:41You've got real sparklies on.

0:54:41 > 0:54:43Oh, I see.

0:54:43 > 0:54:44Right.

0:54:44 > 0:54:45OK. Lovely room.

0:54:45 > 0:54:47Lovely room. Leave naturally.

0:54:47 > 0:54:49Leave the room naturally. OK.

0:54:49 > 0:54:50Oh! Stop it.

0:54:53 > 0:54:55It's very pretty here.

0:54:55 > 0:54:56It is absolutely gorgeous.

0:54:56 > 0:54:58I love these shallow steps.

0:55:00 > 0:55:02- Oh!- Voila, restaurant!

0:55:06 > 0:55:10We've been allowed to eat in the chateau's Orangerie.

0:55:10 > 0:55:12You said you didn't speak French.

0:55:12 > 0:55:14You do, I heard you saying French when you came in here.

0:55:14 > 0:55:18- I know...- You said quite easily, "We're the couple who are going to be filming here."

0:55:18 > 0:55:20I know, but I had to say "Avec le film crew."

0:55:24 > 0:55:26Everybody here's... Ow.

0:55:26 > 0:55:28So... Stop it.

0:55:28 > 0:55:30So charming.

0:55:30 > 0:55:34- So... Jennifer, be quiet. - Sorry, set fire to your whole arm.

0:55:34 > 0:55:38Be honest, have we met one cross, or bad, person?

0:55:38 > 0:55:41Not one unhappy person, that has been...

0:55:41 > 0:55:42..extraordinary, I think.

0:55:42 > 0:55:46They have had a kind of glow of happiness about them.

0:55:46 > 0:55:48They've got a sort of vigour and a passion.

0:55:48 > 0:55:51- Have you seen any "Pff! Bof!"? - No. Not one. Not one "Pouf!"

0:55:51 > 0:55:54It's so much less about prestige,

0:55:54 > 0:55:57it's simply about the wine

0:55:57 > 0:56:02and the culture of making the best champagne.

0:56:02 > 0:56:05- Excuse moi.- Wow! Voila!- Oh, look at that.

0:56:05 > 0:56:06That's like a little work of art.

0:56:06 > 0:56:08A little work of wow!

0:56:08 > 0:56:11- Madame.- Beautiful. Thank you.

0:56:11 > 0:56:13- Merci.- Thank you.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15That looks absolutely delicious.

0:56:15 > 0:56:17This is very, very good.

0:56:17 > 0:56:20This is not a... You know, Facebook thing.

0:56:20 > 0:56:22Or a Tinder, or whatever it is.

0:56:24 > 0:56:25What?

0:56:27 > 0:56:29It's not Tinder.

0:56:29 > 0:56:32You don't put your food pictures on...

0:56:32 > 0:56:33Food on Tinder!

0:56:36 > 0:56:38Unless... Maybe you do, I don't know.

0:56:38 > 0:56:40I don't do Tinder.

0:56:42 > 0:56:43It's weird to think

0:56:43 > 0:56:47that Ab Fab started a story that, now, 25 years later,

0:56:47 > 0:56:50sees the two of us eating in a chateau and talking about Tinder.

0:56:50 > 0:56:53Mm. This is like Patsy and Eddy!

0:56:55 > 0:56:57No, you eat it, you eat it. Go on, darling.

0:56:57 > 0:56:58Have what's left. Have that bread.

0:56:58 > 0:57:00Put it in your mouth!

0:57:03 > 0:57:05Eat, eat, Eddy.

0:57:06 > 0:57:07Have they gone away?

0:57:07 > 0:57:09Who?

0:57:09 > 0:57:11Ed and Pats.

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Erm.

0:57:13 > 0:57:14I don't know.

0:57:14 > 0:57:16Well, they never go away, do they?

0:57:18 > 0:57:21Every time we meet, we have an idea or a thought

0:57:21 > 0:57:24that makes us laugh until we cry about Patsy and Eddy.

0:57:26 > 0:57:27So they're always there.

0:57:30 > 0:57:33Eddy and Patsy live on in us and our friendship.

0:57:33 > 0:57:34Yeah, don't get cheesy. Don't get cheesy.

0:57:34 > 0:57:38- No, but all of this happened by chance.- Yes, I know.

0:57:38 > 0:57:40I don't know. You know,...

0:57:40 > 0:57:43these things are all coincidence, and synchronicity, and luck.

0:57:43 > 0:57:46When you look back now, it looks as though it was planned.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49It looks like everything was planned. Nothing was planned, so...

0:57:49 > 0:57:52Writing the series wasn't planned.

0:57:53 > 0:57:54You being in it wasn't planned.

0:57:54 > 0:57:57- No.- To be honest, you want to work with nice people,

0:57:57 > 0:57:59so you choose the people you'd like to work with.

0:57:59 > 0:58:02- It was fate.- Cheers to that.

0:58:02 > 0:58:0425, 26, 27 years.

0:58:04 > 0:58:06- Cheers, thanks a lot. - Cheers, thanks a lot, sweetie.

0:58:06 > 0:58:07Thanks, darling.

0:58:10 > 0:58:13Eddy! We've found the chateau.

0:58:13 > 0:58:16Oh-ho! Fabulous.

0:58:16 > 0:58:18A-ha-ha!

0:58:18 > 0:58:20Don't fall in the pond. Don't fall in the pond!

0:58:20 > 0:58:23- Stop it!- Don't be stupid.

0:58:23 > 0:58:25Darling, little doggies.

0:58:25 > 0:58:27Oh, this is it, darling.

0:58:28 > 0:58:31Look at this, sweetie. Mm, cheers, sweetie.

0:58:31 > 0:58:33- Cheers, darling. - Cheers, sweetie, darling.

0:58:33 > 0:58:36Thank you. Do you think they've got any champagne?

0:58:37 > 0:58:38Bolly!

0:58:38 > 0:58:41CORK POPS