0:00:03 > 0:00:05I'm Stefan Gates.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08I'm on a journey to immerse myself
0:00:08 > 0:00:12in some of the most extraordinary feasts and festivals on earth.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26From the palaces of Rajasthan to the graveyards of Mexico,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28and the ancient temples of Japan,
0:00:28 > 0:00:33I'm hoping that by joining in these mass celebrations
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I'll be able to conquer my inhibitions and get under the skin
0:00:36 > 0:00:38of people and cultures around the world.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58I've just landed in the biggest city in the world,
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Mexico City, home to 18 million souls.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09But the most striking thing about this place isn't its size.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14It's built on the ruins of an ancient Aztec city.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Today, Mexican blood is a mix of the old world and the new.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24The Aztecs and the Spanish Conquistadors.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28But once a year, these wildly different cultures
0:01:28 > 0:01:31combine in one spectacular celebration.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36I've come to Mexico City and it's a frenzy of activity here,
0:01:36 > 0:01:39because in just under a week they'll be celebrating
0:01:39 > 0:01:42one of the world's most extraordinary festivals,
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Dia de los Muertos, the Mexican Day of the Dead.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Death is everywhere in Mexico.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53The Aztecs thought that death was the true state of being.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Today, Mexicans believe the spirit of their ancestors
0:01:57 > 0:01:59visit them for three days.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Day of the Dead is now one of the biggest feasts of the year.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Everywhere I go there are symbols of the dead.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Some of them with surprising additions.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14It's got a bottle of Corona!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Slightly macabre.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22For me, death is something that's never really talked about.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26I want to find out if bringing it out in the open
0:02:26 > 0:02:28changes the way I feel.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I've been told to bring mementos of my own dead relatives,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36although I have no idea what I've let myself in for.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Thankfully, Day of the Dead is still a week away.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43While I prepare myself for the spiritual onslaught,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I want to understand more about Mexico
0:02:45 > 0:02:49by joining in a very different celebration.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# Oye mamacita... #
0:02:58 > 0:03:01I'm about to go to a Quince Anos,
0:03:01 > 0:03:05a 15-year-old girl's coming-of-age birthday bash.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Like Day of the Dead,
0:03:07 > 0:03:12a Quince Anos is a fusion of Aztec culture and Spanish Catholicism.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Back in 16th-century Spain, turning 15 was the critical moment
0:03:16 > 0:03:19where a girl had to decide whether to give herself up to God,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22and become a nun, or get married.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Today, the girls still have a crucial decision to make
0:03:26 > 0:03:29ahead of turning 15, but the big dilemma now,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32is what to wear for their big party.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37It's a whole district dedicated to clothes for Quinceaneras
0:03:37 > 0:03:40and baptisms and all the bits and pieces, the bouquets,
0:03:40 > 0:03:42and the plastic flowers and things you might need.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Terrifying for a bloke and for a father
0:03:44 > 0:03:46that girls want this kind of stuff.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50But the whole area is full of these wide-eyed girls
0:03:50 > 0:03:53full of their hopes and dreams that one day
0:03:53 > 0:03:55they're going to look like this.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03The coming-of-age ceremony
0:04:03 > 0:04:08was around well before the Spanish conquered Mexico 500 years ago.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12The Aztecs had many of their own religious and spiritual traditions,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15and one of them was a ceremony preparing girls for life as an adult.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20The older women would give them all the advice necessary
0:04:20 > 0:04:24to make the transition into womanhood.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27It's the combination of Aztec and Spanish traditions
0:04:27 > 0:04:31that are the foundations of the modern day Quince Anos.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42As a dad of two little girls myself, I want to learn why families here
0:04:42 > 0:04:45are prepared to go to crippling lengths to give their daughters
0:04:45 > 0:04:47the biggest party of their lives.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I go to meet the Aguilera's, an upper-middle class family
0:04:54 > 0:04:56in the north of the city.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Hola!- Como estas? Estamos esperando.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Sergio is an insurance broker,
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I guess you'd call him a thoroughly modern Mexican.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07So is this Karla? Hey, Karla. I'm Stefan.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Good to meet you.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13In just three days he and his wife, Luz are throwing a Quince Anos
0:05:13 > 0:05:15for their only daughter Karla.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Hi.- Hola, I'm Stefan. Hi there.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20That's quite an impressive stack of presents, isn't it?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23You can't open it yet, can you? Is that allowed?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- Yes!- Really?!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Wow! It's pink!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30I love pink. It's my favourite colour.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35My brother, my Mum and my Dad, but 20 years ago.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38In Luz's day, a Quince Anos was a small party,
0:05:38 > 0:05:41attended by close family and friends.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44But for Karla things will be different.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46She was little here.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Wow! She looks like a little doll there.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53- She liked pink then, as well?- Yes.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56In the traditional Catholic celebration,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58the coming-of-age girl, or Quinceanera,
0:05:58 > 0:06:01would wear a white dress, showing her purity.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Any other colour would be an outrage.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07But Karla is a thoroughly modern girl.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- What's this? Karla?- Karla?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- Er, it's my dress.- That's the dress?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Yes.- Wow! Look at that. That's a lot of material.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19It is.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21So who chose this? Did you chose it?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Or did mum?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Which one?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- A-ha. It's a very princess dress, isn't it?- Yes.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37For Karla, the party might be about wearing a big dress
0:06:37 > 0:06:38and getting lots of presents.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42But for her father, Sergio it means much, much more.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45She looks lovely in it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I was amazed because she looks so different.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50How do you feel when you see her wearing the dress?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Kind of awkward.- Why?
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Because I think of her like my tiny girl, still.
0:06:57 > 0:07:02And I find it kind of hard for her changing the way of life and...
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- To see her as a woman?- Oh, yes.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07It is kind of hard for a father to do that.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11The idea of that with my daughters terrifies me.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28With two nights to go before the big event,
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Sergio invites me to another traditional Mexican celebration,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36one that's as far removed from the purity of a Quince Anos
0:07:36 > 0:07:38as it's possible to get.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Mexican wrestling is one of the most popular sports in the country.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Every week, millions of viewers tune in to watch masked opponents
0:07:53 > 0:07:58battling it out in the time-honoured tradition of good verses evil...
0:08:00 > 0:08:04..with chicks in bikinis and the odd dwarf thrown into the mix.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Between fights I get a chance to chat to Sergio, mano-a-mano,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15about what it's like losing his daughter to womanhood.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16I'm wondering what you're feeling like?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19You're spending a lot of money. How much will this cost you?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Like £9,000. That's a lot of money.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- That's a HUGE amount of money. - Yes, it's like buying a new car.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- A mid-sized new car.- That must be a large proportion of your earnings.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Oh, yes, it is. We have to save a long time for this.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Would you have preferred a cheaper venue? Or cheaper food?
0:08:37 > 0:08:45How much could I have saved with a cheaper party?
0:08:45 > 0:08:49If she wasn't happy, it was not worth it, at all.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Which bit of the party are you most looking forward to yourself?
0:08:53 > 0:08:54OK. A waltz.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57And the waltz is like...
0:08:57 > 0:09:01just being she and me alone for a moment.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I expect it to be magic.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Whilst you can't put a price on magic,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13I'll just mention the waltz is costing Sergio
0:09:13 > 0:09:16twice the average Mexican salary.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19One of those costs is a private dance instructor.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21The dance is the moment when Sergio will present
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Karla as a woman to society...
0:09:24 > 0:09:27and he's leaving nothing to chance.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Traditionally, the Quinceanera would have a single male escort
0:09:32 > 0:09:35to accompany her for the evening. But like many modern girls,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Karla has roped in four
0:09:37 > 0:09:40to try to make her big night the talk of the school.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52So, how long have they been rehearsing this for?
0:09:52 > 0:09:53From August.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56From August, so three months?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Just on Sundays. Two hours.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Just Sundays, two hours. That's all!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- I'm...stressed.- You're stressed out?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- You're stressed anyway!- Yes.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- This really doesn't help, then?- No.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13It's not just Sergio coughing up cash, though.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17All of the guests, including me, are expected to honour the event
0:10:17 > 0:10:20with a gift, and Karla has a gift list.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24It's to be found at Mexico City's poshest department store,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26the oddly named, "Liverpool."
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Hola.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29Hola.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Mucho gusto.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34I feel thoroughly out of my depth shopping for a 15-year-old girl,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37so Luz Ester, head of the Gift List department,
0:10:37 > 0:10:40has offered to help me pick out the perfect present.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Do most girls get everything they ask for?- Yeah.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Really?!- Yeah.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48And what's the most expensive thing on the whole list?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Is it this DKNY coat? Yeah.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55The designer coat costs £170.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59That's more than the average weekly wage in Mexico.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03That's quite sophisticated, isn't it? For a 15-year-old? Yeah.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I think we'll put that one back because it's a bit too much for me.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- OK.- So what else can we have a look at?
0:11:11 > 0:11:14The history books make no reference to DKNY
0:11:14 > 0:11:17during the Aztec coming-of-age ceremonies.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Not something I feel able to bring up
0:11:19 > 0:11:23as Luz skilfully guides me towards the handbag department.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I generally close down when anybody mentions handbags,
0:11:28 > 0:11:32my mind just shuts off, so I need all the help that you can give me.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36That's quite a tame one. Aahh, with an extra little gorilla motif.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42That's really sweet, actually. I can imagine giving that to my daughters
0:11:42 > 0:11:44when they're 15. So I might buy that.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48It might be one of the cheapest presents on the list,
0:11:48 > 0:11:49but I can hold my head up high.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I feel I'm now fully equipped to participate
0:11:52 > 0:11:54in this ancient tradition.
0:12:05 > 0:12:099am - the morning of the party.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I'm checking in on Luz to see how she's doing.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Oh, look at you!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Are you very stressed out?- Yes.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- So what is this? A... - Cold sore.- Cold sore.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- And is that because you're very nervous?- Yes.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Do you always get them when you're nervous?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Yes, I do, but this time it's worse than ever.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Will you be all right by later do you think?
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Well, I hope so. I'm going to buy some medicine.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40There's clearly a huge amount at stake.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44We head off to the beauty salon to see if they can help.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48I think it's a physical expression of your love for your daughter.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53- How about that?- Well, yes, but, you know, I don't like it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- You'll be gorgeous by tonight. - I hope so.
0:13:06 > 0:13:13Luz isn't the only one feeling the heat. Karla has her own anxieties.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Luz tells me that she's found it tough fitting in
0:13:15 > 0:13:19with her peers at school, but she's invited lots of them anyway.
0:13:19 > 0:13:25This could be her moment to lose her geeky image, to finally become cool.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28It's a risky strategy.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Her popularity at school all depends on the success of tonight.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Back at the house, the relatives are gathering.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53The beauty salon tried their best to cover up Luz's cold sores.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58She's still devastated, but she puts on a brave face.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09The biggest night in Karla's life has finally arrived.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Just like in a fairytale, Karla's carriage awaits.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25But first stop, the church.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30We've finally got everyone out of the house and we're on our way,
0:14:30 > 0:14:33the trouble is it's already 7:37.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36The service started about seven minutes ago theoretically,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38and everyone that was in the house is way behind,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41they're all stuck in a traffic jam trying to get out of the street.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45So I hope that Mexican church time's a little bit flexible.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48MUSIC: "Land Of Hope And Glory"
0:14:50 > 0:14:52But a few more minutes isn't a problem.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56To the rather surprising tune of Land Of Hope And Glory,
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Karla walks down the aisle on her way to becoming a woman.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09In the original Catholic ceremony, this was the time
0:15:09 > 0:15:12when a girl would have to decide whether to become a nun
0:15:12 > 0:15:14or get married.
0:15:44 > 0:15:49And just like that, Karla takes her first steps as a woman.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06After the ceremony,
0:16:06 > 0:16:11I ask Karla's priest what he makes of the modern day Quince Anos.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35But the mass consumption is only just beginning.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49The family has thrown a fortune into making the party
0:16:49 > 0:16:52seem as extravagant and as cool as possible.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59But for Sergio, tonight isn't about the cost.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02It's about a last dance with his daughter as a little girl,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05and his first dance with her as a woman.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23APPLAUSE
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Quinceanera's traditionally perform at least two dances -
0:17:28 > 0:17:31a waltz and then a more modern dance.
0:17:31 > 0:17:37It's all been very innocent, so what comes next is a bit of a surprise.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39CHA CHA MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:08 > 0:18:11RAPTUROUS CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:18:17 > 0:18:20CROWD CHANT
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Wow! That was quite an extraordinary difference between
0:18:27 > 0:18:32the big Quince Anos dress and the young woman dress.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33I was quite shocked at that.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42SALSA MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:45 > 0:18:49It's been a huge emotional, as well as financial strain,
0:18:49 > 0:18:51for Sergio and Luz.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54But now they can finally let their hair down.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00You're coming with me.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- But I don't know how to dance! - Excellent! I don't know either.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08I think a little spin around, how about that? Yeah!
0:19:10 > 0:19:13It might all seem materialistic,
0:19:13 > 0:19:16but at the heart of the Quince Anos is a critical moment in life.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20By embracing puberty, it transforms a difficult part
0:19:20 > 0:19:23of growing up into a celebration.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28For Karla, I'm just hoping it'll be a success.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34As the clock approaches midnight, the signs are looking good.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58It's the morning after the big party and I'm hitting the road.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01I'm heading south to rural Oaxaca.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09I'm looking forward to immersing myself in the Day of the Dead.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Do the dead really return to earth?
0:20:13 > 0:20:17And if so, can I actually meet my own dead relatives?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25But I'd been told that I first need to get familiar with mescal,
0:20:25 > 0:20:29the liquor that drives the Day of the Dead ceremonies.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Which is why I find myself in a large field with Mario.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37So how old are these plants?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- So this one's ready to go is it?- Yeah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Mario makes mescal.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53It's similar to tequila, it's brewed from agave plants.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56It's the drink used to toast the spirits of your ancestors
0:20:56 > 0:20:59as they make their annual return back to earth.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03So do you not need the leaves themselves, is it just the trunk?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Only that, yeah.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Mescal isn't only used to welcome back the dead.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15In Oaxaca, they'll find pretty much any reason to open a bottle.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Is it a good life being a mescal farmer?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Ten litres.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48The locals have been making mescal in this region for over 2,000 years.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Wow! Look at that.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52It does look like a pineapple.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57It was the Aztec version of a cup of tea, though slightly stronger.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03The core of the plant is baked in a hole in the ground
0:22:03 > 0:22:07to caramelize the sugars and intensify the flavours.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Then it's crushed and like everything on Mario's farm,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15it's not exactly a hi tech process.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18It's just breaking it all down,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20and so it's turning it into a mash.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23OK, I want to see how hard the horse is working.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25HE GROANS WITH EXERTION
0:22:25 > 0:22:26To heavy?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27STEFAN LAUGHS
0:22:27 > 0:22:28I help you?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Go on then. OK, are you ready? - Yeah.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Blimey!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Once the plant is crushed,
0:22:42 > 0:22:45it's left to ferment and then it's cooked again.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56And that liquid is pure mescal.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59So it goes through into here and cools down,
0:22:59 > 0:23:01and is that it coming through there now?
0:23:01 > 0:23:05So this is fresh mescal, straight from the still.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- I've never tried this before. - Natural, yeah.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Hoo!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Ooh, I thought it was going to give me a really painful hit,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- but it's really clean, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Wow! And then it really warms you up inside!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25One thing that's slightly worrying is that my lips have gone numb.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Is that normal?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31That's a good thing, is it?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Purely for the purposes of research,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Mario insists I try his different blends.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48It turns out he has quite a range.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51OK. Salud!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56That really gets you deep down, doesn't it?
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Salud!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I can feel my brain contracting in my head.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- Salud!- Salud!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Wow!
0:24:17 > 0:24:18How strong is that?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Salud! Nice one.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Oh, God!
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I need a little lullaby to send me to sleep, please.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Feeling slightly fuzzy-headed, I finally reach Oaxaca.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Unlike Mexico City,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00the influence here is much more Aztec than Spanish.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09The Aztecs always celebrated death.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12"Life," they said, "is just a dream.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15"Only in death are we truly awake."
0:25:16 > 0:25:20If there's ever a place where I'll see spirits coming back to earth,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22this is going to be it.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Today's Day of the Dead is a three-day festival
0:25:25 > 0:25:30mixing the ancient Aztec traditions with the Catholic All Saints Day.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33It's very different from the way I'd grown up to think about death,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36which is, well... not to think about it at all.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I wonder if celebrating something I prefer to avoid
0:25:39 > 0:25:43will make it easier to deal with.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46- Catalina?- Bienvenidos.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Thank you very much for letting me come and visit you.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Look at this place, it's beautiful!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I've been invited to spend the festival
0:26:02 > 0:26:04with Catalina and her family.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Is this the virgin of Guadalupe?
0:26:16 > 0:26:20This is extraordinary. What is this room?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28And this is all your family?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Is that you? Oh, wow!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39You had big cheeks then!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41THEY LAUGH
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Wow! That's the way to have a kitchen.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Catalina's mum, Guadalupe,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49is busy cooking for the Day of the Dead feast.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Who does all the cooking for Day of the Dead?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Is it your mother or is it you?
0:26:57 > 0:27:01So has all the really tough work been done or have you got me here
0:27:01 > 0:27:02to do all the hard work?
0:27:05 > 0:27:06Excellent!
0:27:06 > 0:27:10Catalina's father, Andres, comes home from work early
0:27:10 > 0:27:12to help with the preparations.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I love your hat!
0:27:15 > 0:27:18It's very cool? Have you just come in from work?
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Si.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23You've got to give your wife a kiss when you come home.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Thank you very much for letting me come and join you.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I've been wondering whether they really believe
0:27:34 > 0:27:37the dead are coming back,
0:27:37 > 0:27:41or if the whole thing is mainly an excuse for a big party.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45So is everyone looking forward to the Day of the Dead?
0:27:50 > 0:27:53It's a huge jump for me as I've never experienced this before.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Is there anything I can do to prepare myself,
0:27:56 > 0:28:01to get myself ready, to try and...sense, erm,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03some of my family that's passed away?
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Catalina's not the only one who thinks the dead are returning.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36Whilst in Britain we tend to associate death with misery,
0:28:36 > 0:28:40here in Oaxaca, they have a very different outlook.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42MUSIC: "La Vida Es Un Carnaval" by Celia Crux
0:28:48 > 0:28:53Every night during the festivities, huge parades take place in the city.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Here, life is turned upside down.
0:28:55 > 0:28:59Locals dress up as skeletons, men dress as women,
0:28:59 > 0:29:03and parties are thrown in graveyards to welcome death.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09I meet up with Jorge who helps to organise the festivities.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13We're celebrating the Day of the Dead,
0:29:13 > 0:29:17but, I think, it's more for the Day of the Lives,
0:29:17 > 0:29:20because we're going to have a great party tonight!
0:29:22 > 0:29:26Day of the Dead seems to be a chance to laugh at death,
0:29:26 > 0:29:28and show you're not afraid.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35- Sit down.- OK.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38I really need to throw my heart and soul into the festivities
0:29:38 > 0:29:40if I'm going to understand what they're all about.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46We meet up with Virginia who's keen to dress us up.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49There's just one problem...
0:29:49 > 0:29:53the costume Virginia brought for me is meant for a woman.
0:29:53 > 0:29:54Is it a bit short on me?
0:29:54 > 0:29:57I don't mind being a girl, but I don't want to be a tart.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Oh, gosh! It's a bit small.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04It doesn't fit.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07If we squeeze me in.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10Aah! That's made it! That's made it.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14Virginia dresses me up as Catrina,
0:30:14 > 0:30:18Day of the Dead's most famous character.
0:30:18 > 0:30:19She represents a rich old lady,
0:30:19 > 0:30:23a reminder that even money can't keep us from death.
0:30:29 > 0:30:34Jorge's also a Catrina, but of a slightly different proportion.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37The thing is, what happens if I lose you in the crowd?
0:30:50 > 0:30:53No-one here seems to think it's bizarre to get dressed up
0:30:53 > 0:30:58like a dead granny and I have to admit, it's strangely liberating.
0:30:58 > 0:31:02CHEERING
0:31:05 > 0:31:09Our plan is to blend in, but we end up leading the procession.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!
0:31:17 > 0:31:19I'm not any closer to understanding the true meaning
0:31:19 > 0:31:21behind Day of the Dead,
0:31:21 > 0:31:25but this soon feels like the most normal thing in the world.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30BRASS BAND CONTINUES TO PLAY
0:31:51 > 0:31:55The next morning, I find myself in Oaxaca's largest graveyard.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02I've come to meet Nora, a local historian,
0:32:02 > 0:32:04who wants me to meet her relatives.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11- So where are we taking these to? - We're going to see grandmother.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15Actually the space was first for grandfather.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Grandmother died like, three years ago.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22So what we're doing is we're going to bring some flowers to her tomb.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25There is the tomb.
0:32:25 > 0:32:26This one here?
0:32:26 > 0:32:29- Right here.- Wow! It's a whole house!
0:32:29 > 0:32:31Yeah! It's big, no?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34My grandfather and my grandmother is here,
0:32:34 > 0:32:36and you see the pictures right there.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40We really believe that grandmother and grandfather and all the people
0:32:40 > 0:32:44who pass away, pass away and you love it. They coming back.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47So they're actually physically coming back...
0:32:47 > 0:32:50- The spirit is what is coming back. - The spirit's coming, OK.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52The spirit is what is coming back
0:32:52 > 0:32:57and that's why we try to prepare all the good food.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59You know they love to eat in that time.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03You know Oaxaca people doesn't have money for a lot of things,
0:33:03 > 0:33:07but for food and for flowers and for the celebrations,
0:33:07 > 0:33:11- it's just, you know, unique. - You'll always find some money for...
0:33:11 > 0:33:13You're always gonna find money for that.
0:33:13 > 0:33:18Tell me about your grandfather and grandmother. What were they like?
0:33:18 > 0:33:22Grandmother was really young, compared with him.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25- She looks very pretty.- She was.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28She was and she still is probably really pretty.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30I can't say physical, but I can feel.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32You keep saying these things that make...
0:33:32 > 0:33:35I can't quite get my head around, "She's still really pretty."
0:33:35 > 0:33:39I've got to get into your mindset here, I think.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40When your grandparents come back,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43do you think they might argue with each other when they're back?
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Like maybe they did when they were alive?
0:33:45 > 0:33:47You know, Grandmother used to say
0:33:47 > 0:33:52that Grandfather was always having girlfriends around.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56So maybe this is a great opportunity for she complain, you know?
0:33:56 > 0:33:59What he was doing!
0:34:02 > 0:34:06Nora understands that the whole idea of Day of the Dead
0:34:06 > 0:34:09is a bit of a mental leap for me.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Eating is central to the whole experience
0:34:12 > 0:34:15and she thinks I'll understand it better if I help her make mole.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Come on, Stefan! Let's go make the mole!
0:34:18 > 0:34:22We have to prepare this before, you know?
0:34:22 > 0:34:25Mole's a traditional Oaxacan sauce
0:34:25 > 0:34:29that's been served since long before the Spanish arrived.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33Now it's the food of choice for welcoming back the dead.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35- Why mole?- Why mole. Well...
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Why not guacamole and a few tacos?
0:34:38 > 0:34:43Guacamole and a few tacos is really casual and this is really elegant.
0:34:43 > 0:34:48- For this is for a formal... - For a really formal occasion. OK?
0:34:48 > 0:34:52All the peppers are clean and I have here, guess what? Lard.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Lard. Hey!
0:34:54 > 0:34:59This is a pork lard and this is the most wonderful thing.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02You don't mess about. That's about three heart attacks there.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04- You need a lot.- This really is going to be Day of the Dead.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Yes, we need a lot.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10- You see how it turns brown?- You're kind of deep-frying them in lard.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12That's why you need lots of lard.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15When my grandmother was cooking and there was going to be a party,
0:35:15 > 0:35:18she would always want a shot of mescal,
0:35:18 > 0:35:21- or a little cubita de sallo, no? - Oh, yeah?- Oh, yes. A-ha.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24- Bring it on, honey. Where's the mescal?- Where's the mescal?
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Lorena, bring some mescal, please.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29- Gracias! Here it is.- Hey!
0:35:29 > 0:35:33There's only one cup there. What about you?
0:35:33 > 0:35:35If I drink it, I'm going to sleep.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36HE LAUGHS
0:35:36 > 0:35:38Muchas gracias.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40- One shot.- One shot?
0:35:40 > 0:35:42You're hardcore, aren't you?
0:35:42 > 0:35:43SHE LAUGHS
0:35:52 > 0:35:54It's good, it's bad?
0:35:54 > 0:35:58OK, look. When they are toasty...
0:35:58 > 0:36:02- Are you OK?!- No, I want to go home! - I'm so sorry!
0:36:02 > 0:36:06- But the second shot it feels better. - Oh, that's all right, is it? OK.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08- OK...- Oh!
0:36:13 > 0:36:16- It smells fantastic. - Smells good?- Oh, yeah.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Does cooking have a spiritual significance for you?
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Yes, of course.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25Four years ago when we cooked for the last time, Grandmother and I,
0:36:25 > 0:36:30she told me she was feeling like she was going to pass away,
0:36:30 > 0:36:33and she told me that I better learning well
0:36:33 > 0:36:37and getting the right point to the mole,
0:36:37 > 0:36:40because she was not going to be with me the next year.
0:36:40 > 0:36:45The next year, she was not here, but her spirit was here.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49She loved to cook, so she was always around checking everything
0:36:49 > 0:36:55and, to me, this is the most...closest I can get to her.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58So was she basically saying to you, "You better learn this,
0:36:58 > 0:37:01"because I want you to cook it for me when I'm gone?"
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Si, basically, that's what she say.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13This is what you need. Exactly like that.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15- That's the stuff.- OK.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17That's fantastic. It looks like mud.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19Like mud!
0:37:23 > 0:37:26The mole already seems like a coronary waiting to happen,
0:37:26 > 0:37:28so what does Nora do?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31She adds chocolate, an Aztec favourite.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34This is going to be rich, rich, rich.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36You want to taste it now?
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Oh, wow!
0:37:41 > 0:37:45It tastes really smoky and thick...
0:37:45 > 0:37:51and kind of meaty and... A really deep, deep, deep flavour.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Look at that. It's outrageous!
0:37:53 > 0:37:54The mole is just a sauce.
0:37:54 > 0:37:59You can add anything to it, but the most popular ingredient is chicken.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02OK. Let's go bring a plate. OK?
0:38:02 > 0:38:04It's quite salty.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06- Salud!- Salud! To Grandmother.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Si, to Grandmother.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15- Oh, hoo!- So am I experiencing a little bit of your grandmother here?
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Of course. You feel like she's right here,
0:38:17 > 0:38:21checking our faces and seeing how much we like it.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27I can't help noticing Nora's sister Lorena is overcome with emotion.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31The smell and taste of her grandmother's favourite feast
0:38:31 > 0:38:34is making the memories come flooding back.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Why are you crying?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Is the memory of your grandmother a good thing?
0:38:45 > 0:38:46All this is her.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50But is this a good thing or is this a sad thing?
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Ah, you're making me feel all upset now as well.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03That's the feeling and that's why all this.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05That's why the Day of the Dead.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16Early the next morning,
0:39:16 > 0:39:18I'm back at Catalina's for day two of the festival.
0:39:18 > 0:39:24This is the day when those who died as children return.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28All across Mexico, people are in their homes,
0:39:28 > 0:39:33tending their altars and waiting for the dead infants to arrive.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36I'm not a particularly sentimental person, I don't think,
0:39:36 > 0:39:41and I don't believe in ghosts, but there is a huge sense of a build up
0:39:41 > 0:39:46to something and it's these sensual things, foods and smells and sounds,
0:39:46 > 0:39:50and the idea of being here where people truly believe
0:39:50 > 0:39:52that the dead are coming back.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54I'm wondering if it's beginning to carry me along.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58The big difference is everyone here is really excited and happy
0:39:58 > 0:40:02and I'm feeling tense and a little bit frightened.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Catalina and her dad, Andres, aren't helping my mood
0:40:10 > 0:40:11as they break out the skeletons.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14It's a bit like breaking out the Christmas decorations,
0:40:14 > 0:40:17but these are Day of the Dead ornaments,
0:40:17 > 0:40:20usually meant to represent their beloved ancestors.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33This is an interesting situation.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36Catalina has said that she wants to interview me
0:40:36 > 0:40:37and ask me a few questions.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42Which is a bit of a relief, really. It takes the pressure off me.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44What did you want to ask me?
0:40:57 > 0:41:01I can't imagine that. I can't imagine it.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18Is he on his way here now?
0:41:23 > 0:41:28Catalina's determined to get beneath the skin of my English reserve.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35One really interesting thing that I've been thinking about
0:41:35 > 0:41:39the Day of the Dead is that my father never knew his father,
0:41:39 > 0:41:42because he died in World War II.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47And he didn't even know that that was his real father.
0:41:47 > 0:41:52He thought that his father was the man that his mother married
0:41:52 > 0:41:55after her first husband died.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58Obviously, this guy is my grandfather and I never knew him.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01I've never pictured him. I always thought somebody else
0:42:01 > 0:42:03was my grandfather, so it's a really strange time.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07And I don't want to get all sort of hocus-pocus therapeutic about it,
0:42:07 > 0:42:11but I kind of thought that going through the Day of the Dead
0:42:11 > 0:42:13and being able to concentrate on this guy,
0:42:13 > 0:42:15that I've never thought about before as my grandfather,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18might help me understand it a little bit better,
0:42:18 > 0:42:20maybe understand my dad a little bit better.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39The other person that I'm very keen trying to focus on
0:42:39 > 0:42:44on the Day of the Dead itself, is my wife's mum,
0:42:44 > 0:42:47who died when my wife was 16,
0:42:47 > 0:42:50just a couple of days after her 16th birthday.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53Who I also never knew, but I'm so thankful for,
0:42:53 > 0:42:58you know, for my wife and for being the grandmother of my children.
0:43:00 > 0:43:04- Are you feeling OK? Are you OK now?- Si.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11With three hours to go before the dead come back,
0:43:11 > 0:43:14the altars are stacked high with food.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17Why do you put food on the altar?
0:43:44 > 0:43:47This room now smells so strongly of all these flowers.
0:43:47 > 0:43:49The food all being here,
0:43:49 > 0:43:52it's such a strange thing to see all this edible stuff.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55It's an incredibly sensual experience already,
0:43:55 > 0:43:58the incense is being prepared and things like that.
0:43:58 > 0:44:02So, it is an earthly sensation that should drive you into feeling
0:44:02 > 0:44:06a certain way and maybe feeling that the dead are coming back.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09But it's still a big jump for me to make.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11CHURCH BELL TOLLS
0:44:19 > 0:44:20It's 3 o'clock.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24We're about to receive the souls of dead children.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Catalina's family have never lost any infants,
0:44:26 > 0:44:29but they'll be receiving the souls of kids who don't have
0:44:29 > 0:44:32any family left alive to remember them.
0:44:32 > 0:44:36Andres prepares the room, as the local church bells ring
0:44:36 > 0:44:40to let everyone in the town know that the dead are on their way.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58Do you have a sensation of them being here now?
0:45:10 > 0:45:14Just after the bells started ringing there was a big rush of air outside
0:45:14 > 0:45:17and the incense poured out of the room here.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32OK.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45So, did I have the same experience that they did and think that
0:45:45 > 0:45:47the souls of the dead were coming in?
0:45:47 > 0:45:49No, I didn't.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53But did I have some kind of spiritual journey? Of course I did.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56I was concentrating so much on the idea that children have died
0:45:56 > 0:46:00and that their lives are worth celebrating and so, yes,
0:46:00 > 0:46:05you do get some sort of sensation that the dead are here with us.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14As night falls, we head towards the graveyard.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21Looking forward to seeing the cemetery.
0:46:21 > 0:46:24We're going to decorate the tomb
0:46:24 > 0:46:26that holds several of Catalina's family,
0:46:26 > 0:46:29including her beloved great-grandmother.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33Everyone else from the village is here
0:46:33 > 0:46:37decorating their ancestors' tombs with flowers and candles.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39They'll be keeping a vigil all night.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47There's an extraordinary atmosphere in here.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49It's a kind of sparkling atmosphere.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52There's lots of people laughing and chatting.
0:46:52 > 0:46:57It's just so far away from my experience of graveyards.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00I may not be a Catholic, but I'm a buyer!
0:47:00 > 0:47:03I'm a buyer of this way of dealing with death.
0:47:03 > 0:47:08I'd love my grave to be celebrated in this way.
0:47:39 > 0:47:44Soon the local Catholic church joins in the ancient Aztec festivities.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51SINGING
0:47:51 > 0:47:54It's traditional to sing and play music for the spirits,
0:47:54 > 0:47:56inviting them back to earth.
0:47:58 > 0:48:02Everyone wants to make sure the dead feel welcome.
0:48:02 > 0:48:06I'm beginning to understand how it's possible to celebrate death.
0:48:06 > 0:48:11But I want to know if Catalina really isn't afraid of dying.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13If you knew you were going to die tomorrow
0:48:13 > 0:48:17would you still see death as something that's funny?
0:48:46 > 0:48:50We've cracked the mescal, So, salud!
0:48:50 > 0:48:54So we're now having a party. Erm, a party...
0:48:54 > 0:48:56an alcohol party in a graveyard.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03After eight hours, it's time to head home.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09The graveyard's pretty much empty now.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12There's a couple of mariachis still singing here.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15We're on our way home, it's been freezing cold,
0:49:15 > 0:49:19so I've been warmed up nicely by a skin full of mescal.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21It's been quite a revelation.
0:49:21 > 0:49:28I've never seen death as being such a positive, happy experience before.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31I feel really exhilarated by all of this.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33Here we are.
0:49:33 > 0:49:34MARIACHIS SING
0:49:34 > 0:49:35Night-night to the dead.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45A good way to say goodbye, isn't it?
0:49:49 > 0:49:52But my excitement is short-lived.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55Catalina's determined to get me closer to the dead
0:49:55 > 0:49:57than I ever anticipated.
0:50:01 > 0:50:07I'm not much of a... superstitious person,
0:50:07 > 0:50:10but this is what I can see from my bed.
0:50:17 > 0:50:22Well, it's 8 o'clock here in the room of doom,
0:50:22 > 0:50:27but it hasn't been a traumatic night.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30It has started to sink into me
0:50:30 > 0:50:34that the memory of your dead relatives and your dead loved ones
0:50:34 > 0:50:39doesn't need to be mournful, it can be exciting and it can be happy.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47Today is day three,
0:50:47 > 0:50:50when the spirits of adult relatives return.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53After all this immersing myself in death,
0:50:53 > 0:50:55I'm beginning to feel more receptive
0:50:55 > 0:50:57to the idea of them actually coming back.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01I wonder if I might be able to get in touch with my own dead family,
0:51:01 > 0:51:04or if it's all still a little out of my reach.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Catalina is busy putting photographs
0:51:09 > 0:51:12of the people she loves most on the altar.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20And who are these?
0:51:24 > 0:51:28That's a real wild west sort of photo, isn't it?
0:51:28 > 0:51:31- Si.- Beautiful.
0:51:31 > 0:51:36How would you feel if I put a couple of photos of mine on here?
0:51:36 > 0:51:37Would that be appropriate?
0:51:49 > 0:51:52How will I know if they're here?
0:51:55 > 0:51:59Catalina, I have one photo of my wife's mother...
0:52:03 > 0:52:08..who I never met and she died when my wife was 16.
0:52:08 > 0:52:13But my grandfather, we didn't know that he was my grandfather
0:52:13 > 0:52:18until very recently, so I've just got an entry in the birth register.
0:52:18 > 0:52:19Do you think that's OK?
0:52:23 > 0:52:25I think they'd probably like the flowers.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27I think Georgia's Mum would like the flowers.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32It's quite an emotional idea to do.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41Is it all right if I sit down for a minute?
0:52:52 > 0:52:53What a strange idea.
0:52:56 > 0:53:02I'd like to tell Julia I'm very thankful for, Georgia, my wife,
0:53:02 > 0:53:06and that I know Georgia loves her enormously,
0:53:06 > 0:53:13and it was such a tragedy that she died when my wife was 16.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21I so wish that I'd met her.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33And I guess for my grandfather...
0:53:37 > 0:53:41I don't want to seem really sentimental and silly.
0:53:41 > 0:53:42Oh, dear me!
0:53:42 > 0:53:44HE CHUCKLES
0:53:44 > 0:53:46I'm not really used to doing this.
0:53:50 > 0:53:56I wish my grandfather knew that he had a son. That he...
0:53:56 > 0:54:00that my father was alive because he never knew that...
0:54:00 > 0:54:01he had a son.
0:54:03 > 0:54:07Until literally a couple of years ago, I never even thought
0:54:07 > 0:54:09of somebody else as being my grandfather.
0:54:09 > 0:54:15So it's a...an incredible feeling
0:54:15 > 0:54:17to just to sit and concentrate on it for a minute
0:54:17 > 0:54:23and to think about somebody that...
0:54:23 > 0:54:25somebody that was part of my family that I never knew.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Look what you've done to me. I'm a mess!
0:54:41 > 0:54:47It's quite nice. I've never...I've never...cried about them before.
0:54:47 > 0:54:53It's always seemed like a horrible sadness, but it is quite uplifting
0:54:53 > 0:54:57to finally sit and concentrate on them and think about them.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00It's sort of cleansing, in a way.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18I never saw the spirits of Reginald Gates or Juliet Glyn Smith,
0:55:18 > 0:55:20but much as I hate superstition,
0:55:20 > 0:55:25to say I didn't feel their presence wouldn't be entirely true.
0:55:25 > 0:55:31I'm reluctant to say it, but yes, in a strange way, I did meet the dead.
0:55:37 > 0:55:42Finally, it's time to prepare the feast of the dead.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49Here it's plata tamale, a corn and tomato-based dish
0:55:49 > 0:55:52that Oaxacans have been making for centuries.
0:55:55 > 0:55:56Guadalupe and Catalina
0:55:56 > 0:55:59are clearly not used to seeing a man in the kitchen.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Ow!
0:56:02 > 0:56:07The first plate of the feast goes to their most distinguished guests,
0:56:07 > 0:56:09the visiting dead.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16I can imagine that Reginald Gates never tried plata tamale.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18I think they'd like that.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23FIREWORKS BANG
0:56:26 > 0:56:28Before the living guests can eat,
0:56:28 > 0:56:31everyone gathers in the altar room one last time.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34To the sound of fireworks, all across Mexico,
0:56:34 > 0:56:37it's time to say goodbye for another year.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45And that's a fundamental change to my way of thinking.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47You don't just acknowledge the dead once,
0:56:47 > 0:56:51you can look forward to their return as long as you live.
0:56:54 > 0:56:55As head of the house,
0:56:55 > 0:56:59Andres helps the dead back on their return journey.
0:57:03 > 0:57:05How do you feel about them leaving?
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Yeah, I think so too.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Let's go eat.
0:57:34 > 0:57:38I'd made an extraordinary connection that I'd never felt before.
0:57:38 > 0:57:42But stepping out of the altar room and into the sunlight for a beer,
0:57:42 > 0:57:45didn't in anyway feel strange.
0:57:45 > 0:57:46It felt exhilarating.
0:57:46 > 0:57:50And that seems to be the point of Day of the Dead,
0:57:50 > 0:57:53it's both tragic and celebratory.
0:57:55 > 0:57:58Los muertos! Los muertos.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00- Y mama.- Por mama.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03It's been an incredible, life-changing experience.
0:58:03 > 0:58:07I never expected the intensity of a celebration
0:58:07 > 0:58:09could bring me closer to my own family,
0:58:09 > 0:58:12and even help me understand my own mortality.
0:58:14 > 0:58:19Maybe when you celebrate death like Catalina's family do,
0:58:19 > 0:58:22grief is slightly easier to bear.
0:58:52 > 0:58:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:54 > 0:58:56E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk