0:00:03 > 0:00:06- My Lord, they won't let me into the big house.- No.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08So I'll wait with the carriage.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Resist the urge to clip the hedges and mow the grass.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15I know you're a man who likes to get his hands dirty.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16MASON LAUGHS
0:00:19 > 0:00:21'It's taken 50 years in broadcasting,
0:00:21 > 0:00:23'but I've finally cracked it...'
0:00:23 > 0:00:24TERRY LAUGHS
0:00:24 > 0:00:27'..a chance to meander around the country, see the sights,
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- 'meet the people...' - THEY LAUGH
0:00:29 > 0:00:32'..and, ah, yes, eat and drink.'
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Is melt in the mouth a suitable phrase?
0:00:36 > 0:00:38'I've hailed a cab with one of London's finest cabbies,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40'Mason McQueen,
0:00:40 > 0:00:43'to steer me around Britain's highways and byways.'
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'm looking forward to a decent meal, are you?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Oh, I'm starving. I can't wait, Tel.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Our route has been mapped out by an adventurous gourmand,
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Samuel Chamberlain, in his book, British Bouquet.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57'Almost 60 years later, we're following in his footsteps...'
0:00:57 > 0:00:59I'll do all the work, Tel!
0:00:59 > 0:01:02'..to seek out weird and wonderful regional British cuisine
0:01:02 > 0:01:06'and discover how our tastes have changed over the years.'
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Do it right, son.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10WHOOPING AND LAUGHTER
0:01:11 > 0:01:12You know, I could sell those.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Do you think I'd get more money for them
0:01:14 > 0:01:16if I said Terry Wogan made them?
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Probably in a car-boot sale.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19SHE LAUGHS
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Our travels have brought us
0:01:31 > 0:01:36to a place worthy of our regal bearing, in Royal Tunbridge Wells.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39The richest place in Kent,
0:01:39 > 0:01:42this former spa town still has the airs and graces
0:01:42 > 0:01:44of a playground of the wealthy.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Mason and I should fit right in.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Well, I should, anyway.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Slap bang in the middle of the Garden of England,
0:01:51 > 0:01:54there's sure to be bountiful sustenance
0:01:54 > 0:01:57to get our laughing gear around as well.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02So, Royal Tunbridge Wells,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I'm getting a feeling it's going to be very affluent, yeah?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Fairly middle-class, yes.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Chamberlain says, "An early English summer spa,
0:02:10 > 0:02:14"still replete with Old World charm and tranquillity."
0:02:14 > 0:02:17That's what we like, a bit of Old World charm and tranquillity.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20You'll stroll around Royal Tunbridge Wells.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22You know, Tel, no-one's got much to do,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- they're strolling around...- Yeah. - ..enjoying life.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Invigorated by the waters.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28TERRY LAUGHS
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Things seem to have changed little since Chamberlain's days
0:02:35 > 0:02:37and to begin our stroll,
0:02:37 > 0:02:41his book recommends starting on the charming shopping promenade.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- This is The Pantiles. - What is a pantile?- I've no idea.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46You know everything.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49I'm sure somebody's going to explain a pantile to me,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- but it's a very picturesque part of town, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- I really like it.- We're heading towards the Chalybeate Spring,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59and I only can pronounce that cos somebody told me how to.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- Are you going to have a drink? - Yeah.- Are you going to risk it?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Yeah, I'll have a go.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- You're one of the gamest people I know.- I know.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- You're my tester, aren't you?- Yeah.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Chamberlain said that people partook of the waters
0:03:12 > 0:03:15for their treatment of melancholia and overindulgence.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Might just be what me and Mason need.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19It's true, isn't it?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23This whole town owes everything to this spring.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24- It does indeed, yes. - What's your name?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- My name is Jude. - Jude, tell us all now.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31It was discovered in 1606 by the gentleman in the bronze here,
0:03:31 > 0:03:33who is Dudley Lord North.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36In 1629, we had our first royal visitor,
0:03:36 > 0:03:38that was Queen Henrietta Maria.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42She'd just gone through stillbirth and she was feeling very low
0:03:42 > 0:03:44and her doctor suggested that she come
0:03:44 > 0:03:47to this little place in the country of Kent.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- She drank the water every day for six weeks.- And?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52And nine months later she had a bouncing baby boy
0:03:52 > 0:03:54who eventually became Charles II,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57and of course it was put down to this miraculous healing water.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Yes, but, I mean, you look at it,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02it isn't something you'd willingly drink. It's brown.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Well, it's very high in iron,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07which is why you get the iron oxide actually forming in the bowl.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10I must say, it doesn't look that appetising.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13If you watch when I dip, it's actually crystal clear.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Oh, yes.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh...
0:04:16 > 0:04:18And it's only mildly staining the glass.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- There we are, good health to you. - Good health to you.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23If you'll sip it, I'll sip it.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28So you get the tang of the iron.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Urgh! Cor!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32That's sucking the copper.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35That what they say, it's like sucking a penny when you were a child.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Can I just have your word for it... - You can.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- ..that if I drink this, I'm not going to be pregnant?- No.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43No, I think you're quite safe.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47I'm beginning to feel different already.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49I'll have to go and lie down. Bring me a pan of boiling water.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I need to find out what a pantile is, Tel.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- It's nagging me now.- No, no, I'm going to try and keep that from you.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Do you know?- No.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Gents, do you know what a pantile is?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12A pantile is a roof tile.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Put it there.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15So now we know.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23'Pantiles is the name also applied to thick, clay floor tiles
0:05:23 > 0:05:24'originally laid here,
0:05:24 > 0:05:28'but they were replaced 200 years ago with stone slabs.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30'Information and entertainment.'
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- It's a nice restful place, isn't it?- Yes.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- People sitting, having cake...- Yeah. - ..a cup of coffee.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Taking their ease.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45There's a kind of holiday feeling about it, isn't there?
0:05:47 > 0:05:49'To fit in with the laid-back vibe,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52'we should take a leisurely breakfast like the locals,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55'but we shall require a cut above your usual fry-up.'
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I see there's a Lobster Hollandaise,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- Cornish lobster.- Manx kippers.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- Manx kippers don't have tails, you know.- No?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Exmoor caviar.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I'd like to taste that.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I've never heard of that before.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Lead the way, Mason.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15This is a proper fish restaurant.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18This is what I always think a fish restaurant should look like.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Whereabouts are we here? - We are in the old fish market.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24This used to be a fishmonger's back in the day.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26In the 1700s it was rebuilt
0:06:26 > 0:06:29and we took it over just under two years ago.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- I'm interested about this Exmoor caviar.- OK.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- I thought caviar came from the sea. - It does,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38but we're all about sustainability here.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42The problem with caviar from Russia is they kill the fish.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45You only get one amount of caviar from one fish.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49In Exmoor, the guy is farming sturgeon and he is sewing them
0:06:49 > 0:06:53back up so they can create more caviar.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55He's sewing the fish back up? Tel, do you hear this?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58That sounds fantastic, I've never had that before.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01'Breakfast here also includes a Bloody Mary.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03'Who am I to resist local custom?'
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- There's your Virgin Mary.- OK.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10This is what I call a man-sized Bloody Mary.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- I rarely drink one this early in a morning.- Yeah, of course.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I don't believe you.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18What's this, the caviar?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20This is the Exmoor.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24'The world's finest caviar is the eggs, or roe of the sturgeon,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26'caught in the Caspian Sea.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29'Can Exeter caviar compete?'
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Well, it's an excellent caviar. - It's nice.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I might have to take a couple of these tubs home with me,
0:07:34 > 0:07:37on toast in the morning and start my day right.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Mason, here are your oysters.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Just to help you out, the Jerseys, the Lindisfarne
0:07:43 > 0:07:45and these are the...
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- I knew that. I knew that.- Yeah.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51That's a good Lindisfarne.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I don't know... They all taste fishy to me.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Right, and Terry, for you...
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Oh...- Terra firma.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00God bless you.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Lobster, wow!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Are you still sharing, or...?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Sharing is caring.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- Mmm.- The family that eats lobster together, stays together.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- The right way to start the day, Terry.- I'm not moving from here.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I don't know what you're doing for the rest of the day,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27but I'm finishing my lobster.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34'There's plenty of posh nosh on The Pantiles but it's not
0:08:34 > 0:08:38'only the people of Tunbridge Wells with a pampered pallet,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40'it's the pooches too.'
0:08:42 > 0:08:45This is what I would call British overkill of animals.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47However, we'll see.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49I'm not a bit anthropomorphic, you see, that's the problem with me.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53'Britons spend over £200 million a year on dog treats
0:08:53 > 0:08:58'and in Tunbridge Wells, Catherine, the owner of this posh pet shop,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01'provides the canines of Kent with their every whim.'
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Do you have dogs?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- I've got a little Staff. - They're lovely.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- We had a Weimaraner. - They're big dogs, yeah.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Big claws, but wouldn't let anybody into the house,
0:09:11 > 0:09:15any tradesmen unless they came through the tradesmen's entrance.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Yes. Well, very sensible.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Nip at the ankles - a very class-conscious dog.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Look, a little Frenchy. What's his name, mate? This little fella.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25- Bijou.- Bijou?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28That's a French name. What does Bijou like to eat?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Spaghetti.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Of course he does!
0:09:32 > 0:09:33A silly question!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Bolognese?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Bolognese.- Bolognese.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39OK.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42So all these treats, what have you got?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44This is our pick and mix selection.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47This is kind of the bad end of doggy sweeties,
0:09:47 > 0:09:48these are the chocolates.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- The bad end? - The bad end of doggy treats.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52There are some things they prefer.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53- They're fussy.- Some dogs are.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55We have venison chipolatas.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You've got a soft spot for venison, haven't you, son?
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- They're eating better than us, Tel! - Yeah, but why not? Why not?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Oh, look.- Chipolatas!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05I'd like these in the cab.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- I was watching you...- I'd eat these.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- I wouldn't be surprised if you trouser that.- Yes!
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- You can't just go on spoiling dogs. - No, you can't.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Treats are treats and it's like the kids, isn't it?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17The occasional treat's fine but you don't want to spoil them
0:10:17 > 0:10:20and make them fat.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Do you like that?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Oh, yes!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26'Well, somebody is spoiling their dogs.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30'There's even doggy ice cream, for heaven's sake!'
0:10:31 > 0:10:33We have got fish and chip chocolate.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Fish and chip chocolate!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Go for it.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- Ruff!- It's for dogs!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- It's all right. - I don't think it'll kill you.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45You might get a waggy tail and wet nose later but...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- He always has that.- Promises!
0:10:52 > 0:10:56This treating of animals as if they were people has always
0:10:56 > 0:10:58puzzled me a little bit.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00How'd you know when a dog likes something?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02You see, they don't go...
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- GRUFF VOICE:- "Thank you very much."
0:11:06 > 0:11:10So we're going to see Rosemary Shrager,
0:11:10 > 0:11:14who's a very distinguished food writer and food expert
0:11:14 > 0:11:16and runs a cookery school.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20We need to know more about food, don't we?
0:11:20 > 0:11:24It's not just a question of shoving it down the biscuit hole,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26as you say yourself.
0:11:28 > 0:11:34'Celebrity chef Rosemary Shrager set up a cookery school in 2013,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37'but it's not just the amateur cake bakers she's catering for,
0:11:37 > 0:11:42'she's taken on the task of teaching the next generation of Kentish chefs.'
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Wow, the engine room.- It looks like a professional kitchen.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- Rosemary Shrager. - Welcome to my cookery school.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Welcome. Come through, yes.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53- Hello, chefs.- ALL: Hello.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56So you're a hard taskmistress, I'd say.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I would say I want them to learn.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I want them to go into the big, wide world and know what they're talking about.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04You know the tradition, you hear the chef screaming
0:12:04 > 0:12:07at the junior staff a lot.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- We don't do that here. - Don't you?- No.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I'll tell you what, if you hit me with that, we're in trouble, Tel.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14ROSEMARY CHUCKLES
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- So no violence, Rosemary. - My big boy there.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- It's big boy, is it?- Big boy. So no violence, no.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25'But could Rosemary's gentle teaching style sustain
0:12:25 > 0:12:27'when confronted with the likes of us?'
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- I would like you to actually make some eclairs.- I don't think so.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Who's up for it?- No, I don't think so.- What do you mean?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- All right, then. - Oh! You can do it.- OK.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39'Rosemary starts me off heating up
0:12:39 > 0:12:42'butter and water for the beginnings of a choux pastry.'
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Look at the way that's bubbling up.- I know.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- You didn't think I could do that, did you?- It's normally a Martini!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Really, really?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Stir.- I can't hold that and... - Listen to me, stop talking and stir.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Stir.- Now look, you've got me in trouble now.- Stir.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Yes, you're in trouble. Stir, that's no good, stir.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Rosemary, hold it down to a dull roar, will you?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03'My stirring skills lacking,
0:13:03 > 0:13:06'Rosemary replaces me with a machine.'
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Add one egg at a time.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10I'm going to stand back!
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Did you see that?- Now we're going to do another egg.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15THEY LAUGH
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Right.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Oh!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Hold on, you've had a spillage.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Rosemary, have you been drinking?
0:13:25 > 0:13:29'With such expert tutelage, I feel in safe hands.'
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Push, push.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33That's a lovely one. Bring it up.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37- He's a master.- That is sensational!
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- That is a great one. - I'm drained of all emotion.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42That looks like a lizard, that one.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Just keep your opinions to yourself!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47You two are naughty.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49You're like two little boys!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53'And here's what the eclairs should look like
0:13:53 > 0:13:55'when done by the professionals.'
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- No!- What?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Look what you've just done! - Sorry, boss.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I can't tell you how frightening it is to be with you.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Do you know what? I'm a pussycat. - Oh, I'm sure.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08'The finishing touch, some fine Kentish fare.'
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Pummel them to bits.- And Kent is known for its strawberries, Rosemary?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Strawberries, cherries - all fruits, as far as I'm concerned.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- The Garden of England. - It's just wonderful!
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Oh!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21That is absolutely delicious.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oh!
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Well done, you.- Well done, Terry.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28- Thank you.- A good effort, team.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37There is a great pub called the Duke Of York.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Your man, Chamberlain, rarely recommended a pub.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44"The Duke of York, you might enjoy a light collation of sandwiches
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- "and a beer," but, of course, that leaves you out, doesn't it?- Yeah.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Leave outside with a Coke and a packet of crisps.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Like I used to do with my children.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54HE CHUCKLES
0:14:54 > 0:14:56'Little does Mason know,
0:14:56 > 0:14:59'I'm actually off to the pub for a secret assignation.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03'Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells is the famous pseudonym,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06'once adopted by an anonymous, irate writer
0:15:06 > 0:15:08'to newspaper letter pages.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13'I'm meeting with a local who's continuing the noble tradition
0:15:13 > 0:15:16'as the latest embodiment of this outraged complainer,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20'but only on condition that his anonymity remains intact.'
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Am I right in thinking that you would be...
0:15:26 > 0:15:30..the far famed and much feared Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells?
0:15:30 > 0:15:31- CROAKY VOICE:- Yes.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36The original Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells conceivably
0:15:36 > 0:15:39would have been a retired Indian Army officer.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43It is me now but I had to make sure the name continued.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46It's a very noble tradition.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Do you think that there's enough people like yourself,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Disgusted, who make their feelings felt?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55No, people should complain more.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58If people complained more, they'd get more.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02'So, does this seasoned complainer have any advice
0:16:02 > 0:16:04'for our culinary journey?'
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Nobody complains. If they get a bad meal...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08People say, "How's your meal?"
0:16:08 > 0:16:10"Oh, very nice, thank you."
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I never feel obliged to leave a tip.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14In fact, I never leave a tip.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17A lot of waiters and waitresses...
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Still looking for me.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20They don't know who I am, you see.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26'Time to take my leave before the bar staff recognise him.'
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- West Kent.- Yeah, sleepy little villages, Tel.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, a nice part of England, this.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42We're going to Penshurst Place.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43According to Mr Chamberlain,
0:16:43 > 0:16:47"A noble country mansion in feudal splendour."
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Yeah, feudalism is all right as long as you had a few quid.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56I'm hoping we're going to get there, Tel,
0:16:56 > 0:16:59because I'm on the red now, so we've got to stop at a petrol station.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I've got to get some derv.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Unfortunately, you'll find me financially embarrassed at the moment.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09- MASON CHUCKLES - Do you have a credit or debit card that you can use?- Uh...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- How are you, mate?- Very well.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- Fill up?- Yeah, diesel, please. - No problem.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20- Who are you, when you're at home? - My name's Trevor.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Trevor, it's nice to see you. - To see you, lovely.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Tell us about your petrol station, Trev.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28It ain't your run of the mill petrol station, is it?
0:17:28 > 0:17:32It's probably going to be your prettiest petrol station ever.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I'd say certainly the most historic looking.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Yeah, built in 1890-ish,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40it's probably one of the first petrol stations around.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42No, it wasn't built as a petrol station?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Well, I think it was, because if you think about it,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46when they built it, there would
0:17:46 > 0:17:49have been two expensive, very big families in the village and they
0:17:49 > 0:17:53would have wanted somewhere to get their petrol for the newfangled car.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58You don't get this service at your BP and Shell, mate, do you, eh, Trev?
0:17:58 > 0:18:02- No. Who's paying, then, you? - Terry. I'll see you soon!- I'm off!
0:18:10 > 0:18:15This is a very historic manor house, they tell me - Penshurst Place.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- This reminds me of when you invited me round your house.- Yeah.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22If anything, I suppose...it's a little smaller than ours.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Look at this place! Wow!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28This is, they say,
0:18:28 > 0:18:34the best example of a fortified manor house in all of England.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Beautiful.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Nearly 700 years old, this remarkable house has played host to
0:18:40 > 0:18:44nobility, kings and queens, and now
0:18:44 > 0:18:47an Irish DJ and his Cockney cabbie.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52The currant Lord De L'Isle,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54whose family have owned this place for centuries,
0:18:54 > 0:18:57is out fulfilling some lordly duties,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00but luckily, his son and heir apparent might be knocking about.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04My goodness!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I believe this is the Baron's Hall.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Maybe the highest room I've ever seen in my life.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- You'll be Dr, the honourable... Philip Sidney.- How do you do?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Nice to see you, my friend. Thank you for inviting us in here.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- What a place! - Yes, we're very lucky.- Lucky!
0:19:20 > 0:19:24It came to us through Edward VI, who left it to Sir William Sidney
0:19:24 > 0:19:28and before that, it had sort of ping-ponged between the royal family
0:19:28 > 0:19:31and people whose heads they kept chopping off.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37- It's the most imposing hall I've ever been in in my life.- Thank you.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42- And you live here?- Yes. Not in here all the time...- I should hope not.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44- You have a little room of your own? - Yes, a little.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Thank goodness for that.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Up there on the wall is what we call a squint,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51where the Lord of the Manor would gaze through and see
0:19:51 > 0:19:54if someone was talking to someone they shouldn't be.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Ah, Terry, there you are.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59And he could also, if anybody displeased him,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- he could loose an arrow at them from there as well.- I suppose so.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06It's glassed in at the moment, so we can't do that any more!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Oh, all right, then. No fun any more(!)
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Handily, some of The Hon Philip Sidney's
0:20:15 > 0:20:19chefs are rustling us up a modern medieval banquet.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Hey, Mason.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Hey, chaps.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24I thought you wouldn't be standing round the gardens,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- you would have smelt the food. - I've been watching you guys.
0:20:27 > 0:20:32- Mason, you've met Dr The Hon Philip. - Good to meet you.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37The great Sidney family. This is still a hunting estate, is it?
0:20:37 > 0:20:42Do animals get killed, shot and otherwise mangled around here?
0:20:42 > 0:20:46- We run a shoot. We try not to mangle any animals.- Good.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Now then...
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Dr The Hon, what have we got here?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- We've got some venison from the estate.- Lovely.- Thank you very much.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Enjoy.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's kind of historic, isn't it,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02that we're sitting here in this Baron's Hall, which according
0:21:02 > 0:21:06to John Julius Norwich is the greatest room in England?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08That's very kind of him.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09I wouldn't disagree.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13- It's like they've knocked two rooms into one.- Yes!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17This is delicious.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19And beautifully cooked.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Blackberries with venison...
0:21:21 > 0:21:24You think your distinguished ancestor
0:21:24 > 0:21:27would have responded well to that? Or would he have said, "What?
0:21:27 > 0:21:29"I'm not having any fruit with my venison!"
0:21:29 > 0:21:32In the Renaissance and Middle Ages, sweet and savoury were much
0:21:32 > 0:21:34more likely to go together. Because sweet things were much
0:21:34 > 0:21:37more expensive, you wanted to show off how rich you were
0:21:37 > 0:21:39by putting all sorts of spices in your meat.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41The Duke of Buckingham, Edward Stafford,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44gave an enormous party for King Henry VIII -
0:21:44 > 0:21:47a party that cost more than a million pounds in today's money.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49It didn't do him very well, because two years later,
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Henry VIII had his head chopped off.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Dangerous times, eh, Terry?- Yeah.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Mason, don't you go entertaining any noble people.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- I don't want to lose you!- OK.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13The Kentish countryside is well known for its hops.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Chamberlain talks of hop farming being one of the county's
0:22:16 > 0:22:18major pursuits.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21You come from the East End. East Enders every summer
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- used to come to Kent, didn't they, to pick the hops?- Yeah.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Yeah, there was a tradition there.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31East Enders, like a lot of Londoners, came down here hop-picking.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33It all seemed to be a kind of affectionate thing,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36as if they looked forward to it, but it was hard work.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39It WAS hard work, Tel, but it was a cheap holiday
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- and a lot of people were struggling back then, you know?- Yeah.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- I hope they don't want me to do any work!- I'm not picking any hops.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Or me! Them days are over, buddy!
0:22:52 > 0:22:54When Chamberlain visited these parts,
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Britain produced a quarter of a million tonnes of hops.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01These days, it's down to about 30,000 tonnes.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04But we're off to Larkins Farm, which has been growing hops
0:23:04 > 0:23:09for over 100 years and continues now with Bob Dockerty at the helm.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13- How you doing?- Afternoon. Welcome to Larkin.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Do you want to go down, see the hops that I grow for the beer?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Bob.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Follow me down, I'll drive this tractor.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I've got a tractor, as well!
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- If I take my hat off...- Yeah...?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Is that a code, Bob? - It means I'm going to go fast!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31That means you're going to go fast!
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Follow that tractor.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Steady yourself, Terry.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Could get rough, Captain.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Can your venerable cab take this kind of rough surface?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It's a tough one.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Do you think we'll ever get out of here again?- I don't know!
0:23:56 > 0:23:57So, years ago, Tel,
0:23:57 > 0:24:00you'd have probably have had maybe something attached to the tractor
0:24:00 > 0:24:04pulling down all the cockneys down here to go to work in the fields!
0:24:04 > 0:24:05- Eh?- Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Just shows you how miserable life was in the East End that
0:24:08 > 0:24:11they'd come down here for a holiday to pick hops in tents.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Bob, you've brought us through fields of waving corn...
0:24:20 > 0:24:24- These are the hops? I've never seen a hop in my life.- Really? Oh, right.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27You know, mine has been a privileged life!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Well, hops have been in the family for a long time.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Grandfather got the Order Of The Hop.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36He was the oldest hop grower in Europe,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- because he was still growing hops when he was 100.- No!
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Isn't that fantastic?- Wow.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43And here are you, 30 years of age...
0:24:43 > 0:24:47- So, you remember the East Enders coming down here, Bob?- Yes.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48And working away.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51That's right, they'd be here, sort of, seven in the morning
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- until five at night in the hop garden.- Good crowd of people.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- They were all right.- All right! Just all right.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Easy, pal! Watch it, mate!
0:24:59 > 0:25:00They were just all right, all right.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- We managed to keep them all under control...- Same as I do with you.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08..because you only had the farmer and his wife and about ten men
0:25:08 > 0:25:13on the farm and you've got 300 or 400 people who came in.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16So, where are the hops, then?
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Well, the hops will start to appear on these branches -
0:25:20 > 0:25:23they haven't come into flower yet.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25I think I'm being taken by a hop.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- It's a triffid!- Easy, son!
0:25:30 > 0:25:35This one's got a bit of disease on it, which is caused by aphids.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38- See this little chap in here? - Rascal!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Now, THAT...
0:25:40 > 0:25:44No, that's my mate. That's the ladybird lava.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48- Right.- That eats the blackfly.- Ah.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55- Gosh, is it going to rain? We want rain!- After you, Bob.- Righty ho.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Let's go fire up the machine.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06So, off to see some of last year's harvest in Bob's brewhouse -
0:26:06 > 0:26:08if the cab survives the journey.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Wait up, Bob!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- Smells like a brewery in here! - Dear me.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17The old ones are the best(!)
0:26:19 > 0:26:23- What you got there? Is that a hop? - This is the actual hop.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Now, this is dried...
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Hang on, I always thought a hop was a kind of knobbly little
0:26:29 > 0:26:33- knotty thing. It's a leaf. - It's a cone, a strobilus.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36They're a disappointment to me, Bob.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- Well, I think you'd better try it in the beer.- Oh, OK.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Try that one.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- Are you going to have a drink? - Yeah, you're getting the bus today!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Oh, great!
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- Listen, you can use that bus pass, can't you, now?- Slainte!
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Oh, Bob... - Of the gods, Bob, of the gods.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02As Londoners no longer help out come harvest time, the locals do
0:27:02 > 0:27:06and hand-pick hops in exchange for beer and home-made shepherd's pie.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Although we were early for hop-picking,
0:27:09 > 0:27:10we got to sample both
0:27:10 > 0:27:13with some of the hard-working boys from the brewhouse.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15So, Bob, who would feed all the East Enders, then?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Would the farmer feed them? - No, they made their own food.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21They would cook over open fires.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24When they finished, they would sit round the fire
0:27:24 > 0:27:26and sing in the evenings.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30- It was like refugees from the East End.- Much like yourself, son!
0:27:32 > 0:27:36- Cheers. Here's to all of us.- Cheers.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- Lovely pint, really nice.- Cheers.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45This brings me back to my school days.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Continually spent my life waiting for a bus, and it's all your fault.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- You don't mind if I have a drink, do you?- Who said you could have a drink?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- We could be going in the taxi! - Come on, let's have a walk.- Really?
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- Yeah, have a walk.- Walking to the bus?- Yeah, we'll get one.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- Anyway, did you like the brewery? - I'm not a great beer drinker.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05You done all right in my eyes.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07You don't drink much beer either, do you?
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Well, to look this good, you can't drink too much beer,
0:28:09 > 0:28:12but you done some beer damage in there. How many pints did you have?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14- Only four.- Only four?!