:00:22. > :00:28.I'm just very surprised that I'm still alive. Almost one in five of
:00:28. > :00:35.us will now live to see our 100th birthday. But as our bodies age,
:00:35. > :00:39.our minds can stay young. styling guru is Kate Moss. What
:00:39. > :00:45.insights can we gain from those who've gone beyond their three
:00:45. > :00:50.school years in ten? It's such a difficult jigsaw puzzle, this life.
:00:50. > :00:56.As we all face more years of old age, what can we learn from those
:00:56. > :01:00.still fighting to keep their independence? Life's too short. You
:01:00. > :01:08.should always get a rehearsal. found three old people still
:01:08. > :01:12.striving to live on their own terms. This is their story. We have had a
:01:12. > :01:22.long life. We've worked darn hard and we're not daft. Our legs might
:01:22. > :01:35.
:01:35. > :01:40.Every morning when I'm on the bus coming into town, I dance out and
:01:40. > :01:46.see the word Leslie bar Lou and mutter under my breath, not today
:01:46. > :01:52.Leslie, I haven't time. In towns like Clacton, all over Britain,
:01:52. > :01:57.more of us are becoming older than ever before. Like 84-year-old widow
:01:57. > :02:03.Doris, half of all over 75s now live alone. My husband died. So the
:02:03. > :02:11.car had to go. The dog died of shock. So I'm on my own and I'm at
:02:11. > :02:19.the end of the road. The times I've heard that. Christmas Eve I blow
:02:19. > :02:29.him kisses. The only time. We must make the most of what we have. And
:02:29. > :02:32.
:02:32. > :02:36.by the time we reach Clacton we are very often not complete. Good God.
:02:36. > :02:41.Oh, dear, someone's... What you dropped? It's all right. I'm all
:02:41. > :02:45.right. Is this what you dropped as well? Yes. Life for Doris is a
:02:45. > :02:53.daily battle to avoid either becoming isolated in her bungalow
:02:53. > :02:57.or ending up in a care home. Very kind of you. Thank you. Nearly lost
:02:58. > :03:07.it. She has no children to look after her and survives on a state
:03:08. > :03:08.
:03:08. > :03:12.pension. Aren't I lucky?! �2, 20, 30, 41. Fancy that! Can't blame me,
:03:12. > :03:18.can you?! I look at my legs. Especially the
:03:18. > :03:23.one that's damaged and I say, come on, you're my service for the day
:03:23. > :03:33.and we're going out walkies, we're going walks. We're going into town.
:03:33. > :03:34.
:03:34. > :03:41.And you're going to take me. Ooh. Is it difficult walking? Well, yes
:03:41. > :03:51.and no. It varies. According to the weather. As it's drier, it's not
:03:51. > :04:04.
:04:04. > :04:13.As mum used to say, I don't think they want me up there yet, I'm not
:04:13. > :04:18.good enough". Do you want one of these, mate? No, thanks. You sure?
:04:18. > :04:26.Yes, I'm sure. Lovely, thank you. The gentleman
:04:26. > :04:32.said to me, I've never seen him before, "Are you aware you're using
:04:32. > :04:39.odd shoes?" I said "Yes". Oh. Are you aware your socks are odd, he
:04:39. > :04:46.said. I said yes. Those legs and feet are both in trouble and they
:04:46. > :04:51.have different requirements and they're different sizes. "Oh"! That
:04:51. > :04:58.has to be a big five and that can be a four-and-a-half. He said, you
:04:58. > :05:03.shouldn't be on my bus. "Where should I be?" "In a hospital bed".
:05:03. > :05:08.I said "Do you know it's not possible to obtain a hospital bed,
:05:08. > :05:18.there's none left?". That's why I'm at home and I come out every day
:05:18. > :05:19.
:05:19. > :05:24.for food and my requirements. "Oh, sorry, mate". I prefer to be
:05:24. > :05:32.independent and manage for myself because as we get older, with our
:05:32. > :05:35.bits and pieces broken off, with wear and tear, our requirements
:05:35. > :05:42.vary. And it might be a slow process, but you know yourself what
:05:42. > :05:52.you need and how you need it. But no, I haven't reached that stage
:05:52. > :05:53.
:05:53. > :05:57.yet. I may of course, but not yet. I'm very, very happy to be home.
:05:57. > :06:07.Doris treasures her privacy and won't allow anyone into her home.
:06:07. > :06:22.
:06:22. > :06:27.But life alone in old age can all He's an Enigma because people know
:06:27. > :06:36.him but you don't see him. Old, white hair, beard. Always got a big
:06:36. > :06:42.coat on, he feels the cold quite a lot. I'm not normally a reclusive
:06:42. > :06:49.person. I'm a bit of a chatterbox. I could sit down here and quite
:06:49. > :06:57.happily tell you my life story but I know it wouldn't be very
:06:57. > :07:05.entertaining, you know. Probably get screams, you know. That's one
:07:05. > :07:11.of me a long time ago. What do they call a Scouser in a suit and tie?
:07:11. > :07:15.The defendant. Gosh, I think it's about three months the last time I
:07:15. > :07:20.seen him because I'm in and out all the time, you see. I've got my mum
:07:20. > :07:26.two roads away and I take her out, so I'm always on the go. What sort
:07:26. > :07:30.of life do you think he leads? Lonely I think. I don't know, I've
:07:30. > :07:34.never seen him, apart from people that call to see him and they're
:07:34. > :07:42.not there long. So apart from that, I think he's on his own. It's just
:07:42. > :07:45.him with himself. I don't know, he doesn't see his daughter now.
:07:45. > :07:51.don't know the name of the person that lives next door to me and
:07:51. > :07:56.we've lived here 20-odd years. Almost a million older people feel
:07:56. > :08:00.trapped in their own homes. Francis thought it was a good idea to buy
:08:00. > :08:04.his house 15 years ago but as an owner occupier, he became
:08:04. > :08:10.responsible for the upkeep. Unable to afford repairs and reluctant to
:08:10. > :08:18.accept help from outsiders, his house has become more and more
:08:18. > :08:26.dilapidated. This house does not have a kitchen, cooking facilities,
:08:26. > :08:31.washing facilities, laundry et cetera. Here you are. You can see
:08:31. > :08:39.that I have no bathroom. I haven't bathed in years, you know, properly.
:08:39. > :08:47.Where's the bath then? It's in the yard because the original builders
:08:47. > :08:55.were cowboys and they made a right mess of all the pipework. That's
:08:55. > :09:05.the bath. And that's my kitchen sink there. Where should the sink
:09:05. > :09:13.
:09:13. > :09:19.Stabbed! Shocked! I'm shocked out of my life. Right opposite the
:09:19. > :09:25.church. Doris has good reason to be anxious about crime. She has been a
:09:25. > :09:29.victim herself. She's had her bag taken, her purse taken a couple of
:09:29. > :09:32.times. The last time she was pushed over and left liing in the gutter
:09:32. > :09:37.and she was taken to hospital where she stayed for a couple of months.
:09:37. > :09:47.I went to see her in hospital. She looked terrible. She was bruised
:09:47. > :09:48.
:09:48. > :09:52.all over. She couldn't walk without a frame. That's better. It is known
:09:52. > :10:00.that elderly people often growl. Well, as a dog growls - thank you,
:10:00. > :10:08.love - as a dog growls, in self- defence, don't come too near me,
:10:08. > :10:12.I've got problems. This is my life and I've got to protect myself
:10:12. > :10:17.While she was in hospital, things went missing and she couldn't find
:10:17. > :10:25.them when she got back home. So somebody had taken advantage of a
:10:25. > :10:30.single old lady. A care worker who stole 87-year-old's life savings.
:10:30. > :10:36.Disgusting. But Doris has a tried and trusted technique to help her
:10:36. > :10:41.avoid dwelling on the vulnerability of the eld ler I. -- elderly.
:10:41. > :10:45.you are burdened, set it down, pen to paper, address it to someone you
:10:45. > :10:54.respect very much, or else the Lord himself, and then burn it. And
:10:54. > :11:04.that's a very good way of avoiding sickness. Otherwise known as, give
:11:04. > :11:11.
:11:11. > :11:18.to it the Lord. Don't carry your Francis has been married twice and
:11:18. > :11:28.spent 15 years travelling the world as an engineer in the Merchant Navy.
:11:28. > :11:29.
:11:29. > :11:37.That's one of me a long time ago. I know I'm asleep, but I look like
:11:37. > :11:44.Robert De Niro there. I would say I was at the top of my game there. So
:11:44. > :11:54.I had a good job, nice clothes, lots of friends, you know. The
:11:54. > :11:57.
:11:57. > :12:03.Beatles. 1963. I was at sea then. I'd have been 22 nearly. Buzzing.
:12:03. > :12:08.You know, with culture of all kinds. All the girls had the officers
:12:08. > :12:14.round about town. They'd all head for the Cavern, you see. You would
:12:14. > :12:20.be there all tanned because you were a seaman and nobody had tans
:12:20. > :12:30.then. If you had a tan, you were different. Eye candy for the girls
:12:30. > :12:32.
:12:32. > :12:38.at the time. Because it wasn't bad anyway. Life's too short, sheer
:12:38. > :12:41.elegance. Is it too short? Yeah. It is too short. It should be a
:12:41. > :12:46.rehearsal the first time round then you should come back and say, right,
:12:46. > :12:53.you know what it's all about, behave yourself and then you should
:12:53. > :13:02.have the second go. You should always get a rehearsal. Because I
:13:02. > :13:12.know I've made a complete mess of mine. That's my granddaughter and
:13:12. > :13:13.
:13:13. > :13:21.my grandson. That's my daughter, Karen. That's my wife who died.
:13:21. > :13:31.Well, my daughters were seven and three. I had to give up my career,
:13:31. > :13:45.
:13:45. > :13:48.yes. I was quite happy at sea. Sure # Yesterday,
:13:48. > :13:52.# All my troubles seemed so far away
:13:53. > :13:58.# Now it looks as though they are here to stay
:13:58. > :14:05.# Oh I believe in yesterday # Suddenly
:14:05. > :14:15.# I'm not half the man I used to be Hfrb there's a shadow hanging over
:14:15. > :14:20.
:14:21. > :14:29.# Oh yesterday came suddenly... # I suppose I thought old people used
:14:29. > :14:35.to pull the curtain back, sort of nosing. I think we used to call
:14:35. > :14:39.them curtain-twitchers and things and nosey old so-and-sos, you know.
:14:39. > :14:49.But I certainly realise now why they look out the window. Because
:14:49. > :15:03.
:15:03. > :15:11.they're looking to see if life is We've had a shock after a
:15:11. > :15:21.remarkably mild winter... One, two, three, four, five layers on.
:15:21. > :15:22.
:15:22. > :15:29.Normally five layers on. That's quite a good coat, you know. And on
:15:29. > :15:33.top of that I'll have this from my chest down to my feet. Like Francis,
:15:33. > :15:40.three million older people every year go without heating to save on
:15:40. > :15:47.fuel costs. The quality of life I have is the
:15:47. > :15:56.most basic possible. I'm one move short of lying on a park bench or
:15:56. > :16:05.in a cardboard box under a railway bridge. Over 20,000 pensioners die
:16:05. > :16:15.from the cold every winter. Doris is still coming to terms with what
:16:15. > :16:27.
:16:27. > :16:32.happened when she fell ill 18 She was taken very seriously ill.
:16:32. > :16:37.So we heard that Doris was in hospital. In view of the fact that
:16:37. > :16:47.she was very, very poorly, I genuinely didn't expect her ever to
:16:47. > :16:54.
:16:54. > :16:57.come out. But she did pull through I don't like living like this. But
:16:57. > :17:01.the police, the authorities, the welfare, doesn't matter who they
:17:01. > :17:07.are, they expect you to live like this now. If you try to report
:17:07. > :17:12.anything, they say, what's the age, 80-ish, no, it's imagination, don't
:17:13. > :17:18.take any notice, they club together, whoever they are - I mean it -
:17:18. > :17:23.you're out. They're not on the side of the elderly. They think it's our
:17:23. > :17:29.imagination and because we can't cope and all sorts. But of course,
:17:29. > :17:35.very often, it is the truth we're speaking. We've had a long life,
:17:35. > :17:41.we've worked darn hard, we've had to stand alone for many years and
:17:41. > :17:46.we're not daft. Our legs might be gone, but our brain's not gone.
:17:46. > :17:51.You're right there. I know. I had withdrawals of money and I had put
:17:51. > :18:01.it in a plastic bag when I was carted off to hospital. You see, I
:18:01. > :18:03.
:18:03. > :18:08.don't know what went on in that It's a tremendous relief after
:18:08. > :18:14.you've done what you should do for the day, to go in, shut the gate
:18:14. > :18:21.and shut the door. Then you can stand there with a sigh of relief.
:18:21. > :18:25.In the morning, you see the light and think, thank God I've been safe
:18:25. > :18:29.all night. While she was in hospital for three months, Doris's
:18:29. > :18:35.house was cleared of her personal possessions without her permission.
:18:35. > :18:39.Her house was a real muddle because of her state of ill health because
:18:39. > :18:45.she wasn't able to do very much. Nor did she want many people to go
:18:45. > :18:49.into her house because Doris is a proud woman. I should think it was
:18:49. > :18:55.pretty uncomfortable for her really. Older people struggle to achieve a
:18:55. > :18:58.certain standard of cleanliness and throw out all the tins and the
:18:58. > :19:03.cartons with their jolly old best- before dates. They probably
:19:03. > :19:07.wouldn't be able to see the actual dates anyway. Do you worry that if
:19:07. > :19:13.you let someone in, that they might want to take your home away from
:19:13. > :19:21.you, Doris? One reason I'd rather remain alone
:19:21. > :19:29.and put the lock on the door is because my way of life might not be
:19:29. > :19:35.readily acceptable to anybody who thinks they can report it and
:19:35. > :19:43.insist that I have care and attention that I don't wish to have.
:19:43. > :19:49.But is it true that there was a fox in the sitting room?
:19:49. > :19:56.Well, I can't became them, can I? They needed shelter, they needed
:19:56. > :20:02.somewhere to be. How they got in, I do not know. I still don't know. --
:20:02. > :20:08.I can't blame them, can I? Most of it is a blank. You were happy for
:20:08. > :20:14.them to be there? Reasonably so, yes.
:20:15. > :20:24.You see, all you can do is say, well, so be it, got to accept it,
:20:25. > :20:41.
:20:41. > :20:48.it's happened and that's that. I Kitty has lived alone in her Exeter
:20:48. > :20:56.council flat for the last 44 years. No. Not strong enough? I've got a
:20:56. > :21:06.can opener. It isn't usually as bad as this though. I usually can
:21:06. > :21:14.manage. Yes. That's it. It does get lonely sometimes, even though I
:21:15. > :21:19.like living alone. You can get so lonely that you could cry. She too
:21:19. > :21:24.has been ill, developing a stomach ulcer from anxiety caused over the
:21:24. > :21:29.behaviour of a neighbour in her block. The worst thing was when
:21:29. > :21:33.they tried to set fire to the flat. I think that was the scariest bit.
:21:33. > :21:40.Where were you when they were doing that with the fire? I was standing
:21:40. > :21:46.in the hallway because I tried to reason with them. I suppose it
:21:46. > :21:50.frightened me more than anything because we'd all be burned. I was
:21:51. > :21:57.shocked, yes. I didn't think it could happen to me. I thought I was
:21:57. > :22:03.bullet proof, that nothing could get to me, but it did. I just had
:22:03. > :22:10.this awful pain and then my neighbour upstairs, he called an
:22:10. > :22:17.ambulance and the surgeon told me he only had three minutes to
:22:17. > :22:22.operate. He didn't think I would make it after the operation but I
:22:22. > :22:32.fooled him because I did. Getting ill when you're older makes you
:22:32. > :22:45.
:22:45. > :22:53.think about how long you'll still Smiling is infectious. You catch it
:22:53. > :23:00.like the flu. One someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I
:23:00. > :23:09.passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled,
:23:09. > :23:19.I realised I'd passed it on to him. So if you feel a smile begin, don't
:23:19. > :23:29.leave it undetected. Let's start an enDeppic quick and get the world
:23:29. > :23:39.infected -- epidemic quick and get the world infected. I sit here,
:23:39. > :23:43.
:23:43. > :23:53.totally isolated from every other human being on this planet. It's
:23:53. > :24:05.
:24:05. > :24:09.like baby food isn't it in a way? If you let things get on top of you,
:24:09. > :24:17.either through your own indifference or other people's
:24:17. > :24:26.total indifference to you, I think then... Well you are just surviving
:24:26. > :24:34.from day-to-day. It's not life, it's just existing. I just wouldn't
:24:35. > :24:40.go out the door without shaving that day. And I'm ashamed of myself.
:24:40. > :24:46.I take my daughters to see me - I'd hate my daughters to see me like
:24:46. > :24:53.this. I think a lot of old people become ashamed because they are
:24:54. > :24:59.used to having dignity. You see, you known in the past, I was
:24:59. > :25:06.attractive to females and I didn't look like this. I can see that I
:25:06. > :25:13.must look quite scary to some people. I'd be scared of me if I
:25:13. > :25:23.saw myself. It certainly would be nice to have a partner now because
:25:23. > :25:24.
:25:24. > :25:31.you've got someone to go through your life with. Losing my hair was
:25:31. > :25:36.very sad. It really affected me. And when I came out of hospital,
:25:36. > :25:45.they cut it really short and then it grew a bit and grew a bit
:25:45. > :25:54.thicker. Will it ever come back? it won't grow back now. So I just
:25:54. > :25:59.have to take care of the little bit I've got. My styling guru is Kate
:25:59. > :26:04.Moss. I always... She says if you're not sure of your colours,
:26:04. > :26:09.stick to black-and-white. So that's what I do. I follow Kate's advice.
:26:09. > :26:12.Are you less interested in atacting the opposite sex? No, I'm not
:26:12. > :26:19.really less interested in attracting the opposite sex. I like
:26:19. > :26:25.the company of men and I like them to think, well, she isn't so bad
:26:25. > :26:32.for 84. So I'm quite pleased when people say that to me. But that's
:26:32. > :26:40.as far as it goes. I've no designs on them. I'm quite happy being
:26:40. > :26:50.single. That's my Kate Moss coat. I wear that in the summer. My
:26:50. > :26:56.
:26:56. > :27:03.underwear hasn't changed at all. There's my bra. That's my bras. And
:27:03. > :27:10.these are my pants. So you like nice underwear? Yes, I do. Even
:27:10. > :27:16.though nobody sees it, I like to feel the touch of nice cotton and
:27:16. > :27:23.silk next to you. Even when I was younger, it was important that you
:27:23. > :27:31.always had nice underwear. They don't realise that because you're
:27:31. > :27:36.84 or you're 80, that how good and nice underwear makes you feel, how
:27:36. > :27:39.good it makes you feel. Because deep down, you're the same person
:27:39. > :27:44.aren't you? The years might be there, but you feel the same, you
:27:45. > :27:54.feel the same about your body. So to cover your body, you've got to
:27:55. > :28:18.
:28:18. > :28:21.Hello. Come In. How are you? Erm, Fine. You Always Seem To Be Getting
:28:21. > :28:24.Younger Now. Do you want to take a little seat and we'll have a look
:28:24. > :28:26.at your leg and see what the problem is? Yes. It's because I
:28:26. > :28:29.don't have any proper bathing facilities in this house. That
:28:29. > :28:33.feels quite cold, that water? I didn't warm it, it's just right
:28:33. > :28:38.out the tap, you see. Because the water's so cold... With the cream,
:28:38. > :28:42.it couldn't dissolve? Yes, but it's OK. Have you informed anybody of
:28:42. > :28:47.not having any hot water? It's here but it doesn't work because of the
:28:47. > :28:52.pipework in the bathroom. You must be freegz. How have you been
:28:52. > :29:00.managing with no hot water? I just use cold water -- you must be
:29:00. > :29:05.freezing. Yes and a flannel. Do you sleep upstairs? No, in that arm
:29:05. > :29:11.chair there. How do you find that? Well, the reason I do that is
:29:11. > :29:18.because I've been isolated for so long. Yes. I'm not normally a
:29:18. > :29:25.person who's afraid of things, you know. Yes. But I get irrational
:29:25. > :29:30.fear of lonelines. Do you? Yes. I feel closer to the outside world
:29:30. > :29:40.being by the television, you know. I can put it on from the arm chair
:29:40. > :29:41.
:29:42. > :29:51.with that piece of baton. Better? Yes. That's good. Lovely aren't
:29:52. > :29:52.
:29:52. > :29:57.they? Angels. My daughter's a nurse. Perth, Australia. Lovely. When did
:29:57. > :30:02.you last see your daughters? 2008. Do you still keep in touch
:30:02. > :30:05.with them? No, I don't keep in touch with anybody really, dear.
:30:05. > :30:14.Thanks ever so much, dears. Look after yourselves and we'll see you
:30:14. > :30:17.next week. Yes, see you next Tuesday, dear. Bye-bye, now.
:30:18. > :30:21.Francis has no number for his daughter and grandchildren because
:30:21. > :30:31.they've moved house. So he calls an old neighbour who recently
:30:31. > :30:36.emigrated to pass on a message. Hello, dear. This is Frank, Karen's
:30:36. > :30:42.father. I haven't spoken to her for about six months maybe. Tell her to
:30:42. > :30:50.forget about our differences, you know. If you could just say to her,
:30:50. > :30:57.can she ring me and that way I can get her proper number, the landline
:30:57. > :31:03.number if possible. No, I can't text her because I haven't got a
:31:03. > :31:08.computer. Or a mobile. I don't have a mobile, you see. I'm glad you're
:31:08. > :31:18.settled in dear, because lots of people, they go there, you know,
:31:18. > :31:20.
:31:20. > :31:30.and then they find out they miss their family back home.
:31:30. > :31:40.
:31:40. > :31:48.The council evicted Kitty's neighbour on the second floor.
:31:48. > :31:57.She's still feeling the effects of her illness. 29 steps. When I see
:31:57. > :32:03.people in wheelchairs, I just think, for the grais of God -- for the
:32:04. > :32:09.grace of God. That's the bathroom and that's my chair that I put in
:32:09. > :32:16.to have a bath. It's got all the little things on that you press and
:32:16. > :32:26.the chair goes down. This thing here, it's a nuisance because it's
:32:26. > :32:36.so big you fall over it. This is the bedroom, but it looks more like
:32:36. > :32:38.
:32:38. > :32:43.Steptoe's Yard. At the moment, we are all into throes of packing. I
:32:43. > :32:47.top to God there are no stairs. Some of my statues are going to a
:32:48. > :32:54.care home for statues. People keep giving them to me, you know, when
:32:54. > :33:00.they die. I inherit them. This little fella, he was given to me at
:33:00. > :33:08.the hospital. When I'm going away, I say goodbye to all the furniture
:33:08. > :33:14.and when I come back I say hello to it. So I suppose really I should be
:33:14. > :33:17.put away. If you didn't move, what would happen? I suppose I would
:33:17. > :33:26.stay here until I couldn't stay any longer and then it would be the
:33:26. > :33:30.care home from there. Francis is also clinging to his
:33:30. > :33:36.independence. A work fresh a local care home has started to visit to
:33:36. > :33:46.see if he'd consider moving into residential care. Had your hair
:33:46. > :33:51.cut? No. Had your ears lowered? I attacked it myself. Did you now?
:33:51. > :33:55.Yes, not very successfully. How are you feeling today? Are you having a
:33:55. > :34:01.bath today, my friend? The plan is to take Francis to the home so he
:34:01. > :34:05.can have a bath. No-one should be living like this, to be honest with
:34:05. > :34:12.you. It shouldn't be like this nowadays. You worry about them,
:34:12. > :34:19.don't you? It's not fair on them at all. You OK, Francis? Can you
:34:19. > :34:23.manage? How are you doing, Mister, you all right? Yes, can't be
:34:23. > :34:29.bothered... What have you got on your shopping list today then?
:34:29. > :34:38.nothing really. Champagne and caviar? No. That's OK then. Bread,
:34:38. > :34:45.milk? Hm. I need to hang a venison for three days...
:34:45. > :34:53.Got your teeth in? Teeth in. Wallace and Gromit teeth. You look
:34:53. > :35:00.better. Give us a smile. That's it. Francis has visit ttd care home
:35:00. > :35:06.before but is resisting attempts to get him to give him up his home.
:35:06. > :35:16.When I was just a little girl # I asked my mother what will it
:35:16. > :35:17.
:35:17. > :35:24.be--# Will it be silly # Will I be rich... #
:35:24. > :35:32.Wouldn't you like to live here one day? I don't know. I'm an
:35:32. > :35:40.independent soul. One and two, one dozen, number 12. About 12 years
:35:40. > :35:44.since I've had a bath. Have you had a shower? Just wash myself down.
:35:44. > :35:47.You haven't got your teeth in! didn't realise at first. Looking
:35:47. > :35:53.sharp, Francis. This is what we like to see. Do you want me to run
:35:53. > :36:03.it for you to make sure that it's all right? No, it's OK, just leave
:36:03. > :36:04.
:36:04. > :36:08.me. Like Francis, many older people suffer mental health problems
:36:08. > :36:14.brought on by isolation, lonelines and loss. Francis has struggled
:36:14. > :36:18.with depression for many years and has even attempted suicide in the
:36:18. > :36:28.past. Depression affects one in four over 65s and nearly half of
:36:28. > :36:33.all those in care homes. ordinary bath, just so I can get in
:36:33. > :36:37.and out. The bath moves up. Everything's building up inside.
:36:38. > :36:47.He's getting anxious. That's when your mind starts working overtime.
:36:47. > :36:54.He just doesn't want to get in it. It doesn't matter. Are you getting
:36:54. > :37:04.a bit bothered? No. Are you sure? If it's getting stressful, just
:37:04. > :37:05.
:37:05. > :37:10.tell me. No. Just tell me. Francis goes off the idea of a bath. He
:37:10. > :37:20.doesn't want to live in a care home, he just wants help to make the
:37:20. > :37:21.
:37:21. > :37:30.house he owns fit to live in. in a home for weeks and I got away,
:37:30. > :37:34.I got out. I taught myself to walk again because I was, couldn't walk,
:37:34. > :37:38.didn't want to move, especially with all those round me, they
:37:38. > :37:43.didn't move all day. They were fetched down from the bedroom, had
:37:43. > :37:50.their breakfast, sat in a car, in a chair, and they stayed there all
:37:50. > :37:56.day. I didn't want to get like that. You see, love, there's no hope. I
:37:56. > :38:02.didn't realise how we need the word "Hope", and expectation of life
:38:02. > :38:06.until I went there. But they'd gradually drop that. It doesn't
:38:06. > :38:09.matter what the day is, what the hour is, they've got a large
:38:09. > :38:19.television, they've got every comfort and they don't want to
:38:19. > :38:43.
:38:43. > :38:52.shift. So their body becomes limp, Blimey. I'm just very glad to sit
:38:52. > :38:57.down. You haven't any crochet hooks have you? Mine disappeared when I
:38:58. > :39:02.was in hospital. When your house was tidied up? Yes, it was die died
:39:02. > :39:06.all right. I didn't have a knife, fork, mug, nothing. Strange.
:39:06. > :39:15.been told by the vicar to be honest they decided I wasn't coming back
:39:15. > :39:19.so they stripped the lot. That is what I heard. Where are all these
:39:19. > :39:25.things from? God knows. I suppose they think people have gone into a
:39:25. > :39:32.home and sometimes you can get an old copy of a book that's been gone
:39:32. > :39:38.years and you're thrilled to bits. I have been. I don't want
:39:38. > :39:43.everything to be flung into a bin if I'm found gone. I said, if you
:39:43. > :39:49.look it through, take what you want and give the others to animal
:39:49. > :39:55.sanctuaries, three-legged sheep and such like, I shall be satisfied.
:39:55. > :40:03.You're easily forgotten, my love. Very easily. I mean, I'm trying to
:40:03. > :40:10.get to this one that's so ill, but I can't make it, so she thinks that
:40:10. > :40:15.I've forgotten her, presumably, but I certainly haven't. I just can't
:40:15. > :40:20.make it that far. Some of the other people that knew us both, they'd
:40:20. > :40:27.gron. They frequently moved to other parts of the country you see,
:40:27. > :40:33.before they'd died to be near brothers, sisters or daughters. --
:40:33. > :40:37.before they'd gone. That's one of the difficulttys of it all. That's
:40:37. > :40:42.a really difficult cat, isn't it? You could say that's a pedigree.
:40:42. > :40:45.Look at it. Would you like a cat? Not at my age, love. I know there
:40:45. > :40:55.are thousands of homeless cats and dogs, it's not fair at my age
:40:55. > :40:57.
:40:57. > :41:04.because somebody's going to be left. German, High Seas Fleet in Scapa
:41:04. > :41:13.Flow. My husband would have known about that one. God. Scapa Flow.
:41:13. > :41:23.Look at that. Fancy having one of those. Because there's many women
:41:23. > :41:23.
:41:23. > :41:26.like me now still really not free from the effects of the war or even
:41:26. > :41:33.the war before that. I often pray for the women. God knows who they
:41:33. > :41:40.are, where they are. They've had a tough time because their men came
:41:40. > :41:44.back more or less ruined. My husband had dreadful nightmares. It
:41:44. > :41:48.can be very, very terrifying, mate, in the middle of a night. You share
:41:48. > :41:53.a bed, you share a bedroom. You don't know where his mind is. I
:41:53. > :42:01.know one night where his mind was. He was fighting like hell battling
:42:01. > :42:11.the frontline, mate. And there was me kicking and shouting. He was a
:42:11. > :42:25.
:42:25. > :42:32.Sexual attraction. You don't know where it's going to lead you. You
:42:32. > :42:38.kind of went in with your heart at 23. I looked like a little fairy.
:42:38. > :42:43.He was very good looking. He'd been in the navy and been round the
:42:43. > :42:52.world a couple of times so he was like a man of the world. He was
:42:52. > :43:00.handsome. But he kind of knew it. I suppose I thought it was just like,
:43:00. > :43:06.you know, you see at the movies, you know, you get married and you
:43:06. > :43:16.just have a nice house and then you'd have some children. Marriage
:43:16. > :43:17.
:43:17. > :43:22.is a triumph of hope over adversity. Adversity comes after. I'd always
:43:22. > :43:32.known I was attractive because there was never any shortage of
:43:32. > :43:40.glances, you know, and winks and all that. And this is glamorous
:43:40. > :43:47.Kitty. Jim was my first really serious boyfriend. In those days,
:43:47. > :43:53.sex was kind of secondary. Of course, you wanted to, but we
:43:53. > :43:59.weren't married, we got married in the registry office with a couple
:43:59. > :44:05.of passers-by as witnesses, and we lived as man and wife until we had
:44:05. > :44:10.enough money to have a church blessing. But my husband, when we
:44:10. > :44:15.did get married, he was terribly jealous, you know. He used to, if
:44:15. > :44:19.we walked through town, I used to have to walk with my eyes on the
:44:19. > :44:25.floor, I daren't look at a fella. I daren't look because he might think
:44:25. > :44:29.I was encouraging the fella, or if they were looking at me, he would
:44:29. > :44:35.start to fight sometimes. At the time, you think it's flattering
:44:35. > :44:39.because somebody thinks about you so much, but afterwards, it gets a
:44:39. > :44:45.bit frightening, it's scary. You can't live like that.
:44:45. > :44:53.I suppose it happened in the end, we did split up. I just threw a few
:44:53. > :44:58.things into a case and called a taxi. I escaped as much for the
:44:58. > :45:03.rest of my life was decided in that moment.
:45:03. > :45:11.You are no longer a daughter, hike, because you'd left home, and you
:45:11. > :45:17.were no longer a wife because you'd left the marriage. So you were more
:45:17. > :45:22.or less kind of in no woman's land. That was the woshes bit, you didn't
:45:22. > :45:25.belong anywhere -- the worst bit. I didn't think about the fantial part
:45:25. > :45:32.of it. I knew -- financial part of it. I knew I would be living the
:45:32. > :45:36.way I wanted to, you know, it was at least that I would have, no
:45:36. > :45:43.matter how poor it was and how unhappy it was, at least I could be
:45:43. > :45:53.Breaking your heart's one thing, but I don't think he ever broke my
:45:53. > :45:59.
:45:59. > :46:02.Let me see. After Francis' wife died from kidney failure, he gave
:46:02. > :46:07.up his job at sea. He got a teaching job at John Moores
:46:07. > :46:17.university in Liverpool, but lost that when he was diagnosed with
:46:17. > :46:17.
:46:17. > :46:25.chronic fatigue syndrome. If I went through all those, there's suits,
:46:25. > :46:31.and evening dress suits in there, you know. Bow tie. I've even got
:46:31. > :46:41.white Lynning shirts to two with it -- linen shirts to go with it. See
:46:41. > :46:50.some of the shoes. Oh, yes. They're flippers, look. Is it like a past
:46:50. > :46:58.life, your suitcases? They're just things to wear. And the reason it's
:46:58. > :47:03.accumulated is because I haven't been out an awful lot. It's a long
:47:03. > :47:12.time since I've wore a watch. Only if I went out, you see. So I'd know
:47:12. > :47:21.the time when I went around and about. That's my sewing box. See
:47:21. > :47:28.all the cottons and threads and scissors and things. All this, it's
:47:28. > :47:38.probably spans from insecurity, so to make myself feel secure, if
:47:38. > :47:40.
:47:40. > :47:45.everything's in its place and nothing is left undone, then I can
:47:45. > :47:55.relax. You see, my own mum died when I was six, you know. So my
:47:55. > :48:00.
:48:00. > :48:10.father brought four of us up. It could be that I want everything in
:48:10. > :48:10.
:48:10. > :48:20.order before I pass on. Yes. I don't know is the honest answer
:48:20. > :48:29.because we are supposedly unaware of what goes on if our subconscious.
:48:29. > :48:39.Subconscious, the path of the mind, but which one is not fully aware,
:48:39. > :48:50.
:48:50. > :48:55.but influences one's actions and I'm coming this afternoon to a
:48:55. > :49:02.service for a friend of mine. It was fairly sudden. She had a fall
:49:02. > :49:12.and it went from there. Apparently, she developed pneumonia.
:49:12. > :49:17.She died in the hospital. So I understand. Fairly bad news from
:49:17. > :49:25.most places. Friends in hospital, they have falls, collapse. Some of
:49:25. > :49:35.them didn't even know they were ill. So one just carries on as usual.
:49:35. > :49:37.
:49:37. > :49:45.That's the only thing to do. Press on regardless. Walk on regardless.
:49:46. > :49:51.And put your head up. Try not to live in the past because that can
:49:51. > :49:59.have its side effects. And that can bring you down. If you've got
:49:59. > :50:08.losses, which we all have losses, try not to count them, but to count
:50:08. > :50:12.the blessings that you still have. Because of Kitty's health problems,
:50:12. > :50:19.her local church have paid for a trip to Lourdes in France, famous
:50:19. > :50:24.for its miracles and healing of the sick. You sit there and they come
:50:24. > :50:34.and get you. If I have to go anywhere, I'll be going by
:50:34. > :50:43.
:50:43. > :50:53.wheelchair, but I'm going to get I'm going to get some Lourdes water.
:50:53. > :50:56.
:50:56. > :51:03.I'm not strong enough. Thank you. That's good. If Lourdes water can
:51:03. > :51:11.cure your ailments, it's miraculous water. I really believe it helps.
:51:11. > :51:19.Even if it doesn't cure you, it helps you accept that maybe that
:51:19. > :51:28.what you've got isn't as bad as it was. You've got to have hope.
:51:29. > :51:37.And he cured them. The crowds were astonished to see the dumb speaking,
:51:37. > :51:46.the cripples whole again, the lame walking and the blind with their
:51:46. > :51:53.sight. Hello, father. May Almighty God bless you and help you to truly
:51:53. > :51:58.confess your sins. I can't remember, father, my last confession. Kitty
:51:58. > :52:03.is being cared for. She's one of the sick basically. She's quite
:52:03. > :52:12.feeble, although don't tell her I said that! She'll kill me. For all
:52:12. > :52:18.the sins I have committed I am truly sorry... I think getting old
:52:18. > :52:26.is a bit like your first baby. I've never had a child but nobody tells
:52:26. > :52:30.you until it arrives how to deal with it. We do worry about Kitty
:52:30. > :52:34.because she's had a big operation last year and she's a bit concerned
:52:34. > :52:40.whether it's healed up properly or not. Don't try to stand all the way
:52:40. > :52:46.through. No. OK. They keep wanting me to sit down and I don't want to
:52:46. > :52:51.sit down. I keep wanting to thump him. After a long day of walking
:52:51. > :52:58.and standing, Kitty has been asked to use a wheelchair for the torch
:52:58. > :53:07.light procession. Where's Kitty? She'll be in a chair hopefully.
:53:07. > :53:12.Let's just check. She didn't just walk past you, did she? Did Kitty
:53:12. > :53:18.come down? He's not here yet. Thank you. Kitty has gone missing.
:53:18. > :53:22.haven't seen Kitty, no. I think she was intending to come. Apparently
:53:22. > :53:32.she's upstairs and doesn't want to come to the torch light this
:53:32. > :53:40.evening. They wanted me to go in a wheelchair. I didn't want to go in
:53:40. > :53:45.any wheelchair. Being like a chicken ready for the even, I
:53:45. > :53:51.didn't want to look like that. They think I'm a bit disabled, a bit
:53:51. > :53:55.helpless. When you come here, you're staring death in the face
:53:55. > :54:02.nearly every day because there are so many people who are dying.
:54:02. > :54:08.People come here to die. But nobody lets you dwell on it. Because
:54:08. > :54:18.everybody kind of feels the same. You're here and you're going to
:54:18. > :54:31.
:54:31. > :54:37.I wrote this little poem - now I have time to smell the roses, walk
:54:37. > :54:44.through woods and gather white posies, now I have time to say my
:54:44. > :54:52.prayers and not be afraid to kneel on the stairs. The cause of it all
:54:52. > :54:59.if the truth be told is simply because I've grown old. Do you
:54:59. > :55:03.believe in God? I've screamed at God here in this house on my own.
:55:03. > :55:13.Because let's face it, when you're on your own, he's the only one left,
:55:13. > :55:13.
:55:13. > :56:08.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 54 seconds
:56:08. > :56:16.Smile. By Nat King Cole. I'd reckon that's the record for suicidal
:56:16. > :56:21.people. I don't fear death, to be honest. Because it will be a relief
:56:21. > :56:27.in some ways. The only thing I pray to God, could you make it quick
:56:27. > :56:37.because you can't... I've tried it before. It's hard to swallow 100
:56:37. > :56:44.
:56:44. > :56:50.If you can adapt to your surroundings, then you'll be OK,
:56:50. > :56:55.you'll get through life in a reasonable fashion. Don't give up
:56:55. > :57:05.when you think you've only got a certain number of years to live. Go
:57:05. > :57:07.
:57:08. > :57:17.at it full steam ahead. Don't lie down before you have to.
:57:18. > :57:32.
:57:32. > :57:42.Unfortunately, a lot of people do, I'm very surprised that I'm still
:57:42. > :57:42.
:57:42. > :57:50.alive. I've had so many squeaks. I've always been accident prone but
:57:50. > :58:00.I've managed to scrape through and come through somehow each time.
:58:00. > :58:01.
:58:01. > :58:09.There's the registrars. For what, Doris? Death. One doesn't ever give
:58:09. > :58:19.up, does one? May I be a blessing to someone today. Without being a
:58:19. > :58:20.
:58:20. > :58:24.nuisance to them, of course. Where do you want to end up? Oh, it
:58:24. > :58:34.doesn't matter much at all. My husband always used to say,
:58:34. > :58:54.
:58:54. > :59:01.straight under the rhubarb, that In living more slowly, especially