0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:01:20 > 0:01:23My name is Llyr Jones.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25I'm 15 years old.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29I'm from Aberystwyth and I'm transitioning from male to female.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Being transgender to me is,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35like I feel completely different inside
0:01:35 > 0:01:37to what I looked like outside.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I pretty much thought everyone,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41like, hated to look in the mirror and that whole
0:01:41 > 0:01:46subject just like made them feel gross, but
0:01:46 > 0:01:49when you, like, find out there's more people going through the same
0:01:49 > 0:01:52you understand it. You're like, "OK, I can help this."
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Like, this isn't what I'm going to be like forever.
0:01:55 > 0:02:00I think it's positive to be here today and just really sort of see
0:02:00 > 0:02:02that it's not just one or two people
0:02:02 > 0:02:05or a couple of dozen people who are supporting us...
0:02:05 > 0:02:06HORN
0:02:06 > 0:02:07..but everybody is.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19# L is for the way you look at me
0:02:19 > 0:02:26# O is for the only one I see
0:02:26 > 0:02:32# V is very, very extraordinary
0:02:32 > 0:02:39# E is even more than anyone that you adore, and love... #
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Birmingham Pride was so much fun.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42I think was such, like, an eye-opener.
0:02:42 > 0:02:47It was such a good event to go to and the biggest thing was,
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I think everyone just understood each other and you really didn't have to
0:02:50 > 0:02:53explain yourself. And it was just such, like, a liberating event.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54It was so nice.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57# Take my heart and please don't break it
0:02:57 > 0:03:02# Love was made for me and you. #
0:03:07 > 0:03:12So this dress is the dress I wore to Sparkle.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15The first Sparkle event will always have, like, such, like,
0:03:15 > 0:03:17a big place in my heart.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25The Swansea Sparkle has drawn the attention of
0:03:25 > 0:03:2915-year-old Llyr who grew up on a farm near Aberystwyth.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34He has just started his transition to become female.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Sparkle was, like, the first time
0:03:41 > 0:03:46I really properly went outside in like a dress and heels and stuff.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50And I think that was such a big thing to accomplish for me.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Cos obviously it needed to happen one time,
0:03:52 > 0:03:54and I think doing it at such like
0:03:54 > 0:03:57a safe environment like that, when everyone's like pretty much
0:03:57 > 0:04:00in the same boat as you was such, like, a comforting feeling.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Being able to do that and it was so liberating.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06I just felt so, like, empowered and only good has come from that event.
0:04:06 > 0:04:13Everybody give a big round of applause to Miss Sparkle 2015!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- APPLAUSE - Well-deserved.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I think I was very nervous when the documentary was coming out, cos
0:04:19 > 0:04:23you know, it's not really the normal, like,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25it's not really the norm around here.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28It's a very rural place, you know.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32You look out the window and it's just fields and mountains,
0:04:32 > 0:04:36and it's lovely in that sense but on the other side,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38there isn't that much diversity going on here.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42But everyone's had such good positive feedback
0:04:42 > 0:04:44and I think that's a nice thing.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50It was hard when he first told me, yes.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54I know Llyr has been drip feeding me for a long time.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01His ambition was to be a world-famous drag queen.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05He said that, he told me that quite a few years ago.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07That was his ambition.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
0:05:08 > 0:05:13You know, yeah, I just laughed it off with him at the time.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16And then I thought, no, yeah, these better drag queens,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19they do make quite a bit of money perhaps...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22"If he can pull it off, good luck to him", I thought.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26A friend phoned me up
0:05:26 > 0:05:30the day after I told him that Llyr was transgender,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33the following morning he phoned me up and told me
0:05:33 > 0:05:35he hadn't slept at all,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38he'd been on the internet all night,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40looking at what transgender means.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45And he offered me help
0:05:45 > 0:05:49if I wanted help to consult or
0:05:49 > 0:05:52employ, whatever is the term...
0:05:54 > 0:06:01..the best psychiatrist available to talk Llyr out of transgender.
0:06:01 > 0:06:06But I had to explain, "No, that is not possible."
0:06:06 > 0:06:09That is how Llyr is, and that is how transgender people are.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17You know, the shows and farming are so important to my dad.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22It really is his life and it will be quite a big deal to, you know,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25step out there because obviously, you know,
0:06:25 > 0:06:29physically I've changed quite a bit from last year when they saw me.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33We're going to an event which is very traditional Welsh farming,
0:06:33 > 0:06:36so I'm not expecting everyone to understand it
0:06:36 > 0:06:42but, yeah, I guess we'll just see what happens.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Mum, it doesn't open.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Ta-da!
0:06:48 > 0:06:53It's kind of fun getting everything ready and we put this really nice
0:06:53 > 0:06:54colour onto the cards,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58because it just works better with the colour of the animals, so it
0:06:58 > 0:07:01goes nice together instead of, like, the black ones they give you.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04And it's just the last few things now, then they'll go to the ring.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09So I guess it's, like, quite nerve-wracking today to, like,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11think about people seeing, like,
0:07:11 > 0:07:14this side of me because obviously,
0:07:14 > 0:07:17the farming community have known me as Llyr
0:07:17 > 0:07:21since I've grown up around these people and,
0:07:21 > 0:07:24like, obviously, I haven't seen my family like this.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26And I think I'm just so, like,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29stressed and a bit nervous about what they think, that I don't want anyone
0:07:29 > 0:07:31saying anything to my mum and dad because, like,
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I don't want to put them through something that is happening to me
0:07:34 > 0:07:36because it's not fair on them then.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Having Osian with me at such an important,
0:07:40 > 0:07:41like, stage of my life, like,
0:07:41 > 0:07:45going to school and even here today seeing the family and stuff -
0:07:45 > 0:07:47it's been such a big help.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Like, having someone that's there with you 100% supportive and, like,
0:07:51 > 0:07:53he just gets you.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56And I think that's just like such a nice thing to have.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00I guess I told Osian I was transgender before my mum.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02It just really didn't shock me.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Like, I don't know. It takes a lot
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- to shock me.- I feel it in your eyes it just, like, wasn't a big deal.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09It's like normal, I think, yeah.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Llyr's fashion is, like, great now.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14She dresses a lot better than most girls at our school.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Like, I'm not trying sound, like, horrible or anything but it's true.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I think Llyr has been so brave throughout this because we live in such, like,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27a small place where everyone knows each other and, like,
0:08:27 > 0:08:29everyone's business.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31I think she's been extremely brave throughout it all.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44I think the major, like,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47tipping point for me was when I got my extensions put in.
0:08:47 > 0:08:52You know, now looking up old pictures when I looked more masculine, it was
0:08:52 > 0:08:56so weird because it doesn't look like the same person any more.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00I think maybe I was very naive in the past in that, yes,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Llyr's going to transition - that's pretty much it,
0:09:03 > 0:09:05but in order to get medical help,
0:09:05 > 0:09:09some of the things we actually have to go through,
0:09:09 > 0:09:11such as psychological assessment,
0:09:11 > 0:09:15regular clinics down at the Tavistock in London,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18and they have to be gone through.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22This will be the next step would be on testosterone blockers.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24So that will just slow down,
0:09:24 > 0:09:29the kind of, like, boy puberty.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33The next step after that will be on oestrogen which is the girl hormone.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37Eventually, I think the right thing would be...
0:09:37 > 0:09:41to do would be to go down the operation route,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43just because I think it would...
0:09:43 > 0:09:47I think I'd just feel a lot more comfortable in the long run.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53Obviously, you do get some people just asking, you know,
0:09:53 > 0:09:55"What if you change your mind one day?"
0:09:55 > 0:09:57But I think unless you're living it,
0:09:57 > 0:10:01you don't really understand how it feels.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05Like, you've never been so sure about anything.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08And, like, I think it's...
0:10:09 > 0:10:13..a positive doing it so young because then, you know,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17I have my whole life ahead of me as a woman.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I've always known I had to do this
0:10:19 > 0:10:22and there's just no going back for me
0:10:22 > 0:10:25and I don't see any other life but this.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Llyr had a tough time
0:10:34 > 0:10:38all through his school up until two or three years ago
0:10:38 > 0:10:41where he's suddenly got nothing to hide. He's a lot more confident.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45You can see him walking,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48his head up, he's enjoying life.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52You know, he was...
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Yeah.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56He's a much happier person.
0:10:59 > 0:11:05Do I call Llyr a 'he' or a 'she'?
0:11:05 > 0:11:06To be honest with you, I don't know.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09At present, he's still Llyr.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12And in that respect, I still call him my son.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15It's not going to be easy to change, I know that.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19That will come with time. I don't know.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24I feel, like, comfortable with the name Llyr right now.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28It really doesn't bother me if I get called a he or a she,
0:11:28 > 0:11:31or a boy or a girl.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Like, when the time is right, I'll be...
0:11:34 > 0:11:38One day I'll be like, "OK, I want to be referred to as she now."
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Oh, my God. It's going to be so creased. I need to iron it tonight.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I don't know how to iron, but...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- You've kept it in your bag. - It's very vibrant.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00- I love it.- Should I show my suit? - Yeah.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Ooh, navy.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05It's nice.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06It feels lovely.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- I know.- The material feels so nice.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Such a comfy thing on as well.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14A lot of dresses, like, they weren't really me.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16They were very American, like, prom.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Like, very big, like almost kind of pageanty dresses.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23But, yeah, I think I want more of a simple dress even though it's, like,
0:12:23 > 0:12:26- so vibrant.- My first impressions on Llyr's dress is, like,
0:12:26 > 0:12:30I really like it. It's very colourful, which I wasn't expecting.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34It just screams "look at me", which I really like.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36But I'm quite, like, a very out-there person.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Like, I'll wear any colour.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43You know, my shrimp jumper.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Basically neon pink!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I guess that leavers is quite a big deal.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59It's your last day with the people you've been with for five years.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Yeah, year 11 has gone by so fast.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Too fast.- Now it's like tomorrow.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06So I think going to leavers in heels and a dress,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09I think it will be quite a big,
0:13:09 > 0:13:11not shock, but it will just be, like, different.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13And I'm excited.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19CAR HORN HOOTS
0:13:22 > 0:13:26# Birds flying high you know how I feel
0:13:26 > 0:13:32# Sun in the sky you know how I feel
0:13:33 > 0:13:38# Breeze drifting on by you know how I feel
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# It's a new dawn it's a new day
0:13:45 > 0:13:47# It's a new life for me
0:13:47 > 0:13:51# Yeah, it's a new dawn it's a new day
0:13:51 > 0:13:53# It's a new life for me
0:13:53 > 0:13:58# Ooh
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# And I'm feeling good. #
0:14:09 > 0:14:11It has been fundamental,
0:14:11 > 0:14:17her family's support in giving her the confidence to be who she is,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20and her friendship group in school as well, totally supportive.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22That has made a huge difference.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Make sure your hair is exactly how you would like it to be viewed in 30
0:14:28 > 0:14:31years from now. OK?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Everybody do something. Make it happen.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Ready? One, two and...
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Three.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Her mum rang me and mum said she
0:14:56 > 0:14:58wanted to come in and speak to me with Llyr,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01and they came in and explained to me how she felt,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04and what their progress is going to be,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06and what we as a school could do to help her.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Did she want to change her name?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12You know, did she want to wear a skirt in school?
0:15:12 > 0:15:16I think you've got to be led by what the pupils themselves want,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20and if you can adjust anything for them, so taking them out of PE,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23or finding a unisex toilet, then you do that.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Her being
0:15:29 > 0:15:32much more feminine is who she is,
0:15:32 > 0:15:37and you can see the happiness and confidence shining through with her.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40We've, like, done leavers now, so it's like this is our summer now.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43It's like exciting. It's like, go and do stuff.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46No worries. Nothing to worry about.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47No.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49We're free.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Let's get wasted.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- It feels like ages since the last time you were in here.- I know.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12- How did your leavers go? - Really good, actually.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I think everything just went really well and, like,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18everyone looked really good and I just really enjoyed everything.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I have this photo of me and Osian.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Oh, my God.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- You look so tall. I love that dress. - Thank you.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31- Did you wear heels?- I did. I had these, like, grey suede heels.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I just thought I would be the tallest girl there.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35That was usually me.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39She doesn't need help with make-up tips
0:16:39 > 0:16:41because she's already beautiful.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I was thinking that last time. I was like,
0:16:43 > 0:16:45as a girl, you've got long eyelashes,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47perfect eyebrows, big lips.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48She's got no worries.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51She's got everything I try and fake.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Yeah, I'm really happy with that.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Is that enough off for you? - Yeah, thank you.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- Let me cool them off for you then. - Thank you.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09This is so good.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Perfect. Ta-da!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15So it's basically chocolate cake,
0:17:15 > 0:17:17with chocolate in the middle and chocolate on top.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Sorted. Dad can have some later.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21There you go.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Happy birthday.- Cheers.- Ching!
0:17:29 > 0:17:32My main two presents from my mum and dad were my phone,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35and tickets to go and see Beyonce, which is amazing.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39But my mum just got me this bracelet just to open on the day,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41which is really nice.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45When you realise, like, family have got me, maybe like,
0:17:45 > 0:17:47a card with butterflies on it
0:17:47 > 0:17:49or something or a bit more like maybe
0:17:49 > 0:17:53gender neutral cards, it is a bit, like, nice of them to think of.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57I think I've definitely noticed this birthday, of course.
0:17:57 > 0:18:0116 years since she was born and
0:18:01 > 0:18:04time has flown, hasn't it?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08I remember that night he was born.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10That was quite an emotional time.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14And just imagine he was...
0:18:16 > 0:18:18..two handfuls, he was.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Just look at him now.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21At her now, whatever.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26I'm quite proud of Llyr,
0:18:26 > 0:18:30and proud of his determination
0:18:30 > 0:18:34and his braveness in doing what he has done.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39He is living his life to make himself happy
0:18:39 > 0:18:42and it makes people around him happy.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45And I think that is...
0:18:47 > 0:18:49..something that anybody should
0:18:49 > 0:18:51look up to him for.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Look at all these photos people have been tagging me in.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It's really old photos, when I was like... last year
0:19:08 > 0:19:11and it's just crazy to see how much everything's changed in the year.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13That one on the top right as well.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15I know you're pulling a face but it's a little bit...
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Thank you.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Let me light that for you.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Thank you.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27It's so cute.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31I love birthdays.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I don't remember pain.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04The only thing I remember so clearly is what I smelled like.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Like burning, like, flesh,
0:20:06 > 0:20:11I remember that smell and it was so, like, stuck in my brain.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14I've like the slightest,
0:20:14 > 0:20:18slightest memory of when were in A&E in Aber,
0:20:18 > 0:20:20and I just remember I looked and I saw black.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Like I just saw my legs black.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28"Teen badly burned in beach party fire horror."
0:20:28 > 0:20:32A Penglais school pupil suffered burns to her legs
0:20:32 > 0:20:37so severe she was faced with the possibility of amputation,
0:20:37 > 0:20:41when petrol was thrown on a fire at a beach party.
0:20:41 > 0:20:46It was my friend's birthday and we were sat around the fire,
0:20:46 > 0:20:50and I think, like, me and Osian were getting up to leave,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53and someone shouted, like,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56"Let's get this party started", or something.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I remember this pink liquid getting poured onto the fire,
0:20:59 > 0:21:04and then I heard, like, a pop, then turned around and I was like,
0:21:04 > 0:21:05"Oh, the fire has exploded.
0:21:05 > 0:21:10"We need to get away from this", and then I was like, "OK, I'm on fire.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11"What's going on?"
0:21:13 > 0:21:16So I think when I went over to the car,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20I helped her slowly get out and I saw the look on Huw's face
0:21:20 > 0:21:21and that scared me.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26But I just held on to Llyr's hand and we got her into A&E.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I looked and I saw some massive blisters,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32especially on her right leg which...
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I've never seen anything like that.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45I hate worrying people.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I've always been like that.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Like, no matter what it is, I hate worrying people,
0:21:51 > 0:21:52and I remember this so well.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Like, I don't know why but my friend was phoning my mum when we were
0:21:56 > 0:21:58in the car trying to get to the hospital and stuff.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01And for some reason I was like, "Tell her not to worry, like,
0:22:01 > 0:22:03"I don't want her to be worried."
0:22:05 > 0:22:07There's been a bit of really intense,
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I think emotionally and physically,
0:22:09 > 0:22:12an intense time for everyone.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Obviously Llyr's being in pain
0:22:14 > 0:22:17and has had to fight against that pain and
0:22:17 > 0:22:20sort of win her own little battles over her own body, really.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24You have to swim away from the pain.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Yeah.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Punch the pain.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Tickle the pain. Tickle the pain was the best one,
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I think you were on quite strong medicine then,
0:22:31 > 0:22:33when you were tickling the pain.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35When they said, "Two years to completely heal",
0:22:35 > 0:22:38I was in tears, and they thought I was upset and I said, "No, no,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41"you've just said the phrase completely heal."
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Which is something I never expected to hear,
0:22:43 > 0:22:48and it just gave me so much hope that the experts knew
0:22:48 > 0:22:50that she would heal with time.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Obviously transition is all about your body,
0:22:53 > 0:22:54and the way your body looks,
0:22:54 > 0:22:57and having that body that really matches how you are feeling,
0:22:57 > 0:23:02so having something happen that's damaged important parts of her body,
0:23:02 > 0:23:05very visible parts of her body with her legs,
0:23:05 > 0:23:09potentially could have had quite a negative impact on her,
0:23:09 > 0:23:11but I think because she's already in
0:23:11 > 0:23:13such a strong place with her transition and she
0:23:13 > 0:23:16has such strong body confidence,
0:23:16 > 0:23:20that's possibly helped her get through this,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22to some extent, as well.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Like, I didn't realise until, like, a few days after it happened,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28all my extensions got singed.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Because obviously, my hair was such a big, like,
0:23:31 > 0:23:34part of this whole thing, and then I was like,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I have to get my extensions out obviously,
0:23:36 > 0:23:39because it's like I can't keep them in.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42And I was like, "Well, what's going to happen?"
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Am I just going to go back to what I was last year?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50But then I think when I got them out, I felt so relieved.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54And I just felt so happy and, like, realising just how long and, like,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56thick my hair got.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Maybe sort of accepting and realising
0:23:58 > 0:24:03that I really don't need these extensions to feel like me any more,
0:24:03 > 0:24:07and I think that was the most rewarding feeling.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12So me and mum went shopping last week and I got these trousers.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Everyone needs a piece in their wardrobe like this just to show
0:24:16 > 0:24:19you know, bad things happen in life,
0:24:19 > 0:24:22but put on some yellow trousers and everything will be all right.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44This is the first time I've come with him to the Tavistock.
0:24:44 > 0:24:51To be honest, I've lost track of the appointments they've had.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55But due to commitments I've been unable to come.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01But I know the last one was show week.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04But that was definitely a no-no for me.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09We have access to the specialist, yes.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12But it's, you know, it's a five-hour journey one way.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16You know, it's a two-day project.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Today, it's a bone scan to see how...
0:25:22 > 0:25:25..Llyr's body will be able to cope
0:25:25 > 0:25:28with the change in the hormone treatments,
0:25:28 > 0:25:32which are going to be necessary.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Family reaction has been quite a difficult one.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46It was very hard to tell my mother.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49To be honest, I failed.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53And she learnt from another...
0:25:55 > 0:25:56..another source.
0:25:58 > 0:26:03And I'm sorry to say this, but I did not know how to tell her.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05And that is...
0:26:07 > 0:26:10..is a regret I've got, yes.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15But it was hard for her.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20But as I gather...
0:26:22 > 0:26:24..she is coming to terms with it.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- You OK?- Did it.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32- How did it go?- Really good.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34A bit nervous but it was good.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36It was a scan of your hip first, wasn't it?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- Yes.- And then a scan of the spine.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39All right.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43- Good.- Getting the bone scan done is obviously a very important step
0:26:43 > 0:26:47in the sort of journey,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49and sort of getting hormones and
0:26:49 > 0:26:51doing it properly and getting the bone scan
0:26:51 > 0:26:53to make sure that nothing bad will happen.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56It's just a lot safer way of doing it.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59So in about five or ten minutes we're going to go for a group meeting with
0:26:59 > 0:27:03other kids and families in the same situation as us.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06We'll go and talk to the nurse and she'll explain the sort of next few
0:27:06 > 0:27:07steps for us.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10And it's an opportunity for us to ask questions.
0:27:13 > 0:27:19It really does make you appreciate how lucky I am to have both parents
0:27:19 > 0:27:23that support me equally and are always there for me and are willing
0:27:23 > 0:27:25to come to these meetings with me.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28I think we're getting the results soon,
0:27:28 > 0:27:32and fingers crossed everything will be OK so I can carry on the process
0:27:32 > 0:27:35and be prescribed hormone blockers.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40It's such a big deal to be on hormone blockers,
0:27:40 > 0:27:44because I think more than anything it just slows down
0:27:44 > 0:27:46what's already going on.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50The medical part of this has been really good in my experience.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54I think everything's been moving really well and quickly,
0:27:54 > 0:27:58and everything's just gone in our favour.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00So we have to go into the GP,
0:28:00 > 0:28:03and the GP referred Llyr to the mental health service.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05And then they referred to the
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Tavistock and Portman clinic in London.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12That support network is what I like about it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15It is just really, like, you don't feel alone.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Like, you always feel like you have someone to talk to.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Because I think there might have been one appointment
0:28:20 > 0:28:22where I just sat and cried for the whole hour,
0:28:22 > 0:28:26and I don't think I realised how much emotion was
0:28:26 > 0:28:29built up inside me until that appointment.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31So I think that sort of surprised me.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34When the professionals are looking at home life,
0:28:34 > 0:28:37they've got a lot of aspects they're actually looking at.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41One of the questions I was asked was, because I only have one child,
0:28:41 > 0:28:45was whether I was disappointed with the gender of the child when born?
0:28:45 > 0:28:47And that didn't come into it at all.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49So, I think they're trying to make sure
0:28:49 > 0:28:52that this is coming from the child,
0:28:52 > 0:28:54that it's not coming from the parents.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57There was a list of parts of my body,
0:28:57 > 0:28:59and I had to list from one to ten,
0:28:59 > 0:29:01how much I liked that body part.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05So I think it really just made you think and it was like,
0:29:05 > 0:29:08"OK, like, this is sort of right what I'm doing,
0:29:08 > 0:29:10"because it's very obvious by this."
0:29:12 > 0:29:17It's really odd when I think back to this time last year.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Llyr wasn't dressing full-time.
0:29:21 > 0:29:26As far as the majority of people knew, Llyr was a boy.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29That's what she looked like, that's how she dressed,
0:29:29 > 0:29:31and now when I see her every day...
0:29:33 > 0:29:36..being this lovely young woman, being my daughter, you know,
0:29:36 > 0:29:37she is my daughter.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40And it's just incredible to think back to a year ago
0:29:40 > 0:29:43and exactly how much she's gone through in this last year,
0:29:43 > 0:29:48and just to see her so much happier and see her being herself now,
0:29:48 > 0:29:50it's just fantastic.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54So I think the most exciting thing that I'm looking forward to
0:29:54 > 0:29:59is Sparkle's coming up, and I think that just makes me so happy.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02Like, because it's how we started everything.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05And it's sort of like looking back at where I was,
0:30:05 > 0:30:07going to Sparkle last year.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10It's like how much has happened, and I think I'm just so excited to
0:30:10 > 0:30:13see everyone, and see all our friends that are there,
0:30:13 > 0:30:18and to hand over the crown and crown, like, new Miss Sparkle.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Which I'm really excited for whoever wins.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24I'm just really excited to go.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Can I say excited one more time?
0:30:26 > 0:30:27Excited.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35I like this. That's cool.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44Really good.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Yeah, because you're going to...
0:30:46 > 0:30:49Because you've got to hand the crown over, you know that, don't you?
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Well, I shall be doing a little interview with you first.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53- Yeah.- And then, of course,
0:30:53 > 0:30:56- when the winner comes you've got to put the crown...- Cool. Yeah.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07It just kind of made me feel like a normal person.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10I felt I wasn't normal, I guess, because I didn't know whether...
0:31:14 > 0:31:20So for me, ten years from now... I know I'll be a girl.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36It's a really good feeling,
0:31:36 > 0:31:39sort of being back in Swansea again from last year.
0:31:39 > 0:31:41Seeing the old documentary earlier.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43I wasn't confident at all.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45I looked so afraid of everything,
0:31:45 > 0:31:47I just wasn't holding myself properly.
0:31:47 > 0:31:52And I think just to see the confidence I've gained in a year,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55it's crazy.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58It's like, yeah, I'm doing the right thing.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00I'm really excited for tonight.
0:32:09 > 0:32:10# Here we go
0:32:25 > 0:32:26# Here we go. #
0:32:26 > 0:32:29I find there's a lot more younger people coming through now,
0:32:29 > 0:32:31as young as 14, have been in touch with me now.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Asking me questions
0:32:34 > 0:32:37and progressing much quicker than what we ever did,
0:32:37 > 0:32:39much, much quicker than we ever did.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42We was restricted, of course, at our age
0:32:42 > 0:32:44because we didn't have the law on our side,
0:32:44 > 0:32:47but today they've got carte blanche with the law and they know they're
0:32:47 > 0:32:50protected and so they're coming out and progressing much,
0:32:50 > 0:32:51much quicker than we ever did,
0:32:51 > 0:32:53and good luck to them because that's lives
0:32:53 > 0:32:54that are not going to be wasted.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Ours was wasted, theirs isn't.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Judges, what you've got to do tonight,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04you've got to judge these contestants as I bring them up.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06We're looking for poise,
0:33:06 > 0:33:10we're looking for the effort they put in to
0:33:10 > 0:33:12being what they are tonight,
0:33:12 > 0:33:16co-ordination, personality.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Can you remember last year's winner?
0:33:18 > 0:33:22The youngster from Aberystwyth, young Llyr.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Come on, darling.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28Everybody who's seen the documentary would've seen Llyr on there.
0:33:28 > 0:33:33Now, isn't she grown to be a lovely beautiful big girl, isn't she, eh?
0:33:33 > 0:33:35It's been a crazy year. I think,
0:33:35 > 0:33:37obviously being able to hold that title,
0:33:37 > 0:33:40and being able to do so much stuff and it's been so amazing,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43I can't wait to give the crown to someone else.
0:33:43 > 0:33:44Fantastic.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Now, darling. Where are you from?
0:33:46 > 0:33:50- Swansea.- Oh, that's good.
0:33:50 > 0:33:51Judges, did you hear that?
0:33:51 > 0:33:54- Swansea, yes.- Come on, do it for Swansea.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58Do it for Swansea. Now darling if you won tonight,
0:33:58 > 0:34:02what would you do for Swansea and Swansea Sparkle?
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Well, obviously I would try to open some sort of LGBT group
0:34:05 > 0:34:07in the school I go to, to let people know they can be themselves
0:34:07 > 0:34:09without these restrictions.
0:34:09 > 0:34:10Good for you, darling.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13Better said. Very well said.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15I came out as trans this year,
0:34:15 > 0:34:18and this is the first LGBT event I've ever been to.
0:34:18 > 0:34:19Good for you, darling.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Big round of applause.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Seeing all you lovely people here and witnessing what I've seen today,
0:34:24 > 0:34:26I'm very, very excited for the future.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29That's very nice. Come on, let's have a big round of applause.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Right, we've got the results.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41Now, before I give these results out, girls,
0:34:41 > 0:34:46I want you to know I had no fucking part in this whatsoever, all right?
0:34:46 > 0:34:49So do not shoot the messenger.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51So the first prize,
0:34:51 > 0:34:55could please come forward with a big round of applause,
0:34:55 > 0:34:57for Willow Jane?
0:34:57 > 0:35:00APPLAUSE
0:35:00 > 0:35:01Please put the crown on her.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05A big round of applause, come on.
0:35:05 > 0:35:06Bit of music.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Thank you very much indeed. A big round of applause.
0:35:34 > 0:35:38Tonight we're leaving with this experience under our belt.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42You know, I think we're leaving with so much more friends,
0:35:42 > 0:35:50and I just feel so overwhelmed with the kindness of everyone in there.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51We might not have the tiara,
0:35:51 > 0:35:55or the pillow or the sash that we had last year
0:35:55 > 0:35:57but we have so much more,
0:35:57 > 0:36:00and it's just such a lovely feeling to walk away with.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43So we're in the surgery right now,
0:36:43 > 0:36:46I'm about to go into
0:36:46 > 0:36:49the nurse's office to have my first injection
0:36:49 > 0:36:51for my testosterone blocker,
0:36:51 > 0:36:54and I'm really excited and kind of nervous.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57But I think I'm just really excited to get
0:36:57 > 0:37:01the first major step over and done with.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Whatever happens,
0:37:15 > 0:37:18people have got to be happy in their life,
0:37:18 > 0:37:19and I think this is...
0:37:22 > 0:37:27..another step to making Llyr the person she wants to be.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29As soon as the needle went in,
0:37:29 > 0:37:32I think I just felt a burst of emotions because, OK, this is done,
0:37:32 > 0:37:35this is insane.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38It's such a relief and kind of emotional that it's done.
0:37:38 > 0:37:42She's squeezing my hand quite hard and then I think I looked at Llyr,
0:37:42 > 0:37:44and saw the happiness and the emotion in her eyes
0:37:44 > 0:37:46so that was me off then.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48So we had a little cry and a good old hug together.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53I think it just puts things into perspective
0:37:53 > 0:37:56how far I've come and I've changed,
0:37:56 > 0:38:00not only looks or being able to get the injection,
0:38:00 > 0:38:01but personality,
0:38:01 > 0:38:04and I think I've grown so much as a person in this past year.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Ten years from now, I don't know.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16I guess my future
0:38:16 > 0:38:17is in my hands.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20I don't know what I'll be doing.
0:38:21 > 0:38:26I hope it's something I love, I hope I'm surrounded by people I love,
0:38:26 > 0:38:27and I hope I'm happy.