Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Six young Brits are on the journey of a lifetime.

0:00:07 > 0:00:11They're heading deep into the North American wilderness.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14SHE SHRIEKS

0:00:14 > 0:00:16But this is no ordinary trek.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22He was having thoughts of beating her up, of punching her in the face.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24I just keep seeing it over and over again -

0:00:24 > 0:00:27him just lying there lifeless at the bottom.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30They've all signed up to a radical treatment programme

0:00:30 > 0:00:31for mental illness...

0:00:33 > 0:00:36I want to tap the wall with my elbow.

0:00:36 > 0:00:40- You might have been born with a stupid voice.- I was.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43..because all of them have obsessive compulsive disorder.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49It's impossible to describe what turmoil my brain is in.

0:00:50 > 0:00:55The lid, in case my clothes touched it. The flusher.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58This is pathetic. This is not how my life should be.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01OCD has robbed them of their independence

0:01:01 > 0:01:03and made living normal lives impossible.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09They've been unable to get the treatment they need,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12and they're desperate for help.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14My parents have been through so much.

0:01:16 > 0:01:20I hate the man I thought I should have been at 22, that I'm not at 22.

0:01:21 > 0:01:26He's so pissed off that OCD has robbed him of his life.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32So in a last-ditch attempt to reclaim their lives,

0:01:32 > 0:01:34they're spending ten days

0:01:34 > 0:01:38at one of the world's most extreme OCD camps.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Last time on Extreme OCD Camp,

0:01:45 > 0:01:48the group arrived on the north-west coast of America

0:01:48 > 0:01:51to begin radical treatment for their OCD.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Today, they will be taking actual risks.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58Therapist Pete Weiss and Dr Travis Osborne are OCD experts,

0:01:58 > 0:02:02and are helping of all them overcome their greatest fears.

0:02:02 > 0:02:03You ready?

0:02:03 > 0:02:0622-year old Jack has severe contamination OCD.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09So far, he's been determined to confront

0:02:09 > 0:02:12his chronic anxiety about germs.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15My mouth went dry and my chest was beating.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18I was sweating, I felt kind of like I was going to faint.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Drinking from a glass in a restaurant

0:02:20 > 0:02:23was a massive step forward, but it's not been easy.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24- BLEEP- sake!

0:02:25 > 0:02:29Youngest of the group is 17-year-old Imogen.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32She constantly fears that her family will be harmed,

0:02:32 > 0:02:34and that she can only prevent it

0:02:34 > 0:02:36by avoiding certain foods and tapping things.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39It really does scare me, like,

0:02:39 > 0:02:42"If you don't tap that tree, your mum's going to die."

0:02:42 > 0:02:47So far, Pete has convinced Imogen to resist the urge to tap

0:02:47 > 0:02:49and accept her fears out loud.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Maybe something bad will happen.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Oh, dear.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56It may be painful, but it IS progress.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Like Imogen, 18-year-old Megan is plagued by thoughts

0:03:01 > 0:03:03that those she loves will be harmed.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07She's also been challenged to face her fears out loud.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09You're going to get ill.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12For the last 12 years, 22-year-old Josh has been

0:03:12 > 0:03:16ruled by symmetry OCD, which compels him to do everything twice.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19I have to touch everything with my left and right hands,

0:03:19 > 0:03:21my left and right feet,

0:03:21 > 0:03:24equal amount of times everywhere I go, 24/7.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28So far at OCD Camp, Josh has been challenged to see how long

0:03:28 > 0:03:30he can wait before repeating an action

0:03:30 > 0:03:33a record ten minutes led to a dizzy high.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39But his next attempt led to a crashing low.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44To me, it is like seeing a bus come towards you.

0:03:46 > 0:03:4921-year-old Olivia fears being dirty so much

0:03:49 > 0:03:54she photographs her surroundings to reassure herself they're clean.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57But the main reason for her fear is the smell.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Some people's biggest fear is getting ill maybe, or dying.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04- My biggest fear is anything that smells bad.- Good work.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08The most complex of the group is 23-year-old Andrew.

0:04:08 > 0:04:14My OCD does primarily revolve around avoiding the number 13.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Andrew's severe OCD and fear of the number 13

0:04:17 > 0:04:21has crippled his life and ruined his confidence.

0:04:21 > 0:04:26But so far, it's his low self-esteem that Pete has focused on treating.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28I don't even like talking, I sound stupid.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32So if you shout, you might be rejected by all of us?

0:04:32 > 0:04:34It involves being rejected, yeah.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Little by little, even Andrew is finding a way through.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I'm so hoping you feel at least

0:04:41 > 0:04:46a little tiny bit proud of yourself for what you just did.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48After four days of intensive treatment,

0:04:48 > 0:04:52the group's toughest challenge is yet to come.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55They're about to take a trek into the wild.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58But this is no mini-break.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02The extreme conditions are intended to trigger their OCD

0:05:02 > 0:05:06so that Pete and Travis can confront it head on.

0:05:06 > 0:05:11I can't really wrap my head around what we're about to do, honestly.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14To now go and take them out into the woods

0:05:14 > 0:05:16after everything that we've already done,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19I just can't really put words to it.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Pete's taken OCD groups camping before,

0:05:25 > 0:05:29but treating six Brits in the wilderness is a first.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35After a four-hour ferry ride,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38the group arrive at Stehekin. Surrounded by mountains,

0:05:38 > 0:05:40it's a campsite in the sticks.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47They'll have to get down and dirty,

0:05:47 > 0:05:52cook for each other, and sleep out in sub-zero temperatures.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54For the next three days,

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Washington's wilderness will be home.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00They might be away from civilisation,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03but there's no escaping their OCD.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07It is frustrating. You're constantly thinking you've got to tap that

0:06:07 > 0:06:10or something bad's going to happen, you've got to tap that.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12It's difficult.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16And of course being in the wild will bring its own challenges.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20Hey, you guys! Heads up really quick.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22This is a great wilderness toilet paper.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Good texture,

0:06:25 > 0:06:27lots of fibre.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30You might want to collect a couple, put them in your pocket.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Imogen, you don't look so thrilled.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37This is better than the real thing, let me tell you.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40- I'll take your word for it.- OK.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45We can do camp fire here because it has the shelter, the wind screen.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49Camp right there? Yeah, I think it's perfect.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50Let's get warm.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55I stepped off the boat incredibly cold, incredibly cold.

0:06:55 > 0:07:00It really hit me that I'm actually genuinely sleeping outside tonight.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03I'm actually eating outside.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08We're in a very uncontrolled and unpredictable environment.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11It doesn't matter that they're cold and uncomfortable out here.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15You can't wish away the night,

0:07:15 > 0:07:16you can't wish away the rain,

0:07:16 > 0:07:22and for some of them, that triggers their OCD ten times as much.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Harsh as it may seem,

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Pete and Travis need the OCD to be triggered so they can treat it.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Could this blow over?- Sure.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33I don't like that answer.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Can you give me a nicer answer?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- How does that feel?- That's cosy. I'm quite warm, actually!

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Good! I'm glad.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Oh, it's like a really good massage!

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Camp set, preparations begin for dinner.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I'm going to put the rice on.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Olivia suffers from an obsessive fear of smells,

0:07:57 > 0:08:01and tonight, she is in charge of cooking for the whole group.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06Onions are my favourite vegetables, but I won't cut them

0:08:06 > 0:08:09unless I can have a shower straight after

0:08:09 > 0:08:12because, like, the smell...

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Sometimes they split when you cut them and bits jump out.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19Plus, it's really hard to get the smell off your hands, I find.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22The thought process that goes through my head is that

0:08:22 > 0:08:25if an onion touches me, then my hands will smell of onions,

0:08:25 > 0:08:27then my clothes will smell of onions

0:08:27 > 0:08:30and then other people will think I smell of onions

0:08:30 > 0:08:31and then they'll stay away from me,

0:08:31 > 0:08:34or they'll get a bad impression of me, that kind of thing.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36But a hot shower isn't an option here,

0:08:36 > 0:08:40and the group are starving, so Olivia has to power through.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43Can you see if there's any things to put stuff in?

0:08:43 > 0:08:45- You know, once it's done? - Oh, like a dish?- Yeah.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Michelin quality.- Yeah.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00But not everyone is as content as Josh.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Jack finds dinner stressful at the best of times,

0:09:03 > 0:09:05and the great outdoors is making him

0:09:05 > 0:09:08even more anxious about coming into contact with germs.

0:09:08 > 0:09:13The water is just from like a thing down there, like a communal tap.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15I've not been the first to touch it,

0:09:15 > 0:09:17I've not been the first to eat from it.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20I don't know what the ladle has been used for,

0:09:20 > 0:09:22I don't know when it's been used.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25It's like about a 9 out of 10 for me, anxiety-wise.

0:09:27 > 0:09:31Jack obsesses about hygiene and how his food is prepared.

0:09:31 > 0:09:36Pete and Travis want him to take a risk and give up control.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46If a hiker came down the trail and asked,

0:09:46 > 0:09:49"Why is that guy freaking out about eating a bowl of rice?

0:09:49 > 0:09:51"Why does he look like he's in so much pain?"

0:09:51 > 0:09:54In your words, how would you explain it?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Swap it for a bowl of poison.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Yeah, just swap it for a bowl of poison.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02So, when you look in that bowl, you see a bowl of poison?

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Yeah, and I don't mean, like, see, as in...figure of speech.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08I mean SEE. See see.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Actually see it. - Travis, I don't know about you,

0:10:12 > 0:10:14but I think he's got two choices,

0:10:14 > 0:10:16and that's allowing himself to be pushed around

0:10:16 > 0:10:20by this disorder, or face it.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22You have to kind of decide,

0:10:22 > 0:10:26like, do you want your life to be about getting sick?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29If this is going to be your life,

0:10:29 > 0:10:31where you are succumbing to OCD's wishes,

0:10:31 > 0:10:35then that's a choice you could make, right?

0:10:35 > 0:10:37You could just play it safe.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41Or, say, "I'm going to take a lot of risks.

0:10:42 > 0:10:47"I'm going to risk that I'm going to get sick because I want..."

0:10:47 > 0:10:49- What?- Um...

0:10:51 > 0:10:55Go out with these lot and just eat what they're eating.

0:10:55 > 0:10:56Good.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03What just happened with Jack, the thing that's very profound,

0:11:03 > 0:11:08is that we couldn't control everything out here.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10It's the food being packed the wrong way.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13It's that he doesn't know where the pot comes from,

0:11:13 > 0:11:15he doesn't know where the water comes from.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17It's all of the combined effect

0:11:17 > 0:11:21makes all of this a ten for him, to eat.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23But this is real life for him,

0:11:23 > 0:11:26and so I think it's good it's happening now,

0:11:26 > 0:11:28where we can support him through it.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Jack's not the only one with a fear involving food.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36Imogen's OCD doesn't just compel her to tap.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39She also thinks her family will be harmed

0:11:39 > 0:11:42if she eats and drinks certain things.

0:11:42 > 0:11:43The triggers can change,

0:11:43 > 0:11:46and at the moment, chocolate is one.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49Just holding a piece is a massive challenge,

0:11:49 > 0:11:51but Pete wants her to try.

0:11:51 > 0:11:57Imagine someone has her little time bomb

0:11:57 > 0:11:59in this M&M,

0:11:59 > 0:12:03and there's, like, a detonator in this M&M,

0:12:03 > 0:12:07and they put the bomb in your house

0:12:07 > 0:12:09where your family are.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13SHE SOBS

0:12:13 > 0:12:14It's all right.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17And if you set off the detonator...

0:12:20 > 0:12:24..your house... and your family are going to die.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34How do you detonate it?

0:12:35 > 0:12:37You have to eat it.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Despite her genuine terror,

0:12:40 > 0:12:43Imogen is determined to push herself even further.

0:12:43 > 0:12:47Just relax, just relax, don't stay there. Give yourself a second.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00That was about three seconds, I think.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Yep!

0:13:03 > 0:13:05- That's a good face.- Yeah.- Yep.

0:13:09 > 0:13:14What you all have to remember, you guys, is that it's not OCD

0:13:14 > 0:13:17if you know that the thought is irrational.

0:13:19 > 0:13:20It's not OCD.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24If you believed the thought, if you truly believed it,

0:13:24 > 0:13:28that would mean that you were psychotic or delusional.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30THAT's crazy.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35When people talk about crazy, that's what they mean.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Imogen is a long way from that.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39I agree. So are you.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41I'm not so sure on that one!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43I'm not so sure on that one.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46I know you're not. I don't think the rest of us agree.

0:13:46 > 0:13:51It's just a little crossover of wires in my brain.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55It's a pretty rubbish feeling

0:13:55 > 0:14:00to be so scared of something that you enjoy so much.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Normal for me would just be...

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Even if it meant that I could only eat one M&M,

0:14:07 > 0:14:10that would be incredible.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Pete and Travis call it a day.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17The only job left is to collect more firewood.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19The more big stuff we can find, the better,

0:14:19 > 0:14:23because that's the stuff that will burn the longest.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26In the new environment, everyone is feeling the strain of their OCD,

0:14:26 > 0:14:30but Andrew also suffers from depression,

0:14:30 > 0:14:32and out of nowhere, his mood turns.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36I just got a real bad feeling of depression.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39I just felt as though everybody was ignoring me again.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41I think people don't want to start a conversation

0:14:41 > 0:14:43because they hate my voice.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47"Why would we go over there and talk to that absolute idiot?

0:14:47 > 0:14:50"We've got some nice, more normal people to walk along with

0:14:50 > 0:14:52"and talk to."

0:14:52 > 0:14:54I think somebody said to me something like,

0:14:54 > 0:14:57"You've got to put your food in a bear box

0:14:57 > 0:14:59"or something, or a bear would come and eat you,"

0:14:59 > 0:15:02and I just said, "I really wouldn't care if it did."

0:15:02 > 0:15:04I still feel a little bit like that at times.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08I meant it. At times, I really wouldn't care if a bear did eat me.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29I just woke up, everyone is still asleep

0:15:29 > 0:15:32and it's just a beautiful, beautiful day.

0:15:33 > 0:15:38Part of me wants to go and build a fire and start some hot water

0:15:38 > 0:15:42so when they wake up, they'll be comforted with those things,

0:15:42 > 0:15:46but then there's another part of me that says that

0:15:46 > 0:15:50I wouldn't be doing them any favours by making it too plush.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53I slept absolutely horrifically.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57It was the worst sleep I've ever had in my life.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01I'm not made for this, I'm a city boy. This is terrible.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05No-one slept, because it's just cold and wet and it sucks.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08I am feeling a bit better today.

0:16:08 > 0:16:13- You are?- I felt hideous yesterday around here. I felt so rejected.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Three nightmares about getting rejected again.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17- Last night?- Three separate ones.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22What are we having for breakfast? What do you want for breakfast?

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Not fish and chips again? We can't do it(!)

0:16:25 > 0:16:28I don't know what there's going to be.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31There is some, like, oatmeal to make porridge,

0:16:31 > 0:16:34so porridge, if that's a possibility.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37You should really have porridge when you're down here anyway,

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- shouldn't you?- Yeah. - This is porridge territory.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Spurred on by talking to Andrew,

0:16:42 > 0:16:45Jack summons up the courage to eat some too.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49It's a massive step forward after last night's rice ordeal.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55For me, I feel, already, I've regained my dignity,

0:16:55 > 0:16:57regardless of what happens now.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00I'll have a hell of a lot more independence, I think,

0:17:00 > 0:17:02because I feel that when it comes down to making food,

0:17:02 > 0:17:06preparing food, doing things like breakfast, porridge in the morning,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08I feel like it will be stuff that I'll be able to do on my own.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12Yeah, it makes me feel, obviously, better about myself.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Sorry, Andrew! Agh!

0:17:16 > 0:17:20With breakfast over, it's time to pack up and hit the trail.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24The four-mile hike is intended to focus their energy

0:17:24 > 0:17:26and stop OCD taking over

0:17:26 > 0:17:29as they have to keep going until the next camp.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34Following Andrew's low point the night before,

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Pete's giving him responsibility as trek leader.

0:17:42 > 0:17:46I can completely see why Pete and Travis have brought us out here.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48Some people might be sitting there thinking,

0:17:48 > 0:17:50"They've got OCD, you know?

0:17:50 > 0:17:53"Why are they on a trip? What is the point of this?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55"Is walking meant to cure it, or something?"

0:17:55 > 0:17:58But everybody's OCD adapts to where you are,

0:17:58 > 0:18:03and if you're able to fight it when you're cold and you're hungry

0:18:03 > 0:18:08and you're tired, then you're a very strong person, really.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10That's all I have to say.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14And while trekking,

0:18:14 > 0:18:19OCD expert Travis wants to use the time to work with Josh.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22So far, they've tackled his symmetry OCD

0:18:22 > 0:18:24by encouraging him to go for as long as possible

0:18:24 > 0:18:26before repeating an action.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31On the first day, he could barely wait five minutes.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34A day later, he pushed through to ten.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Now, after fist-bumping Travis with his left hand,

0:18:38 > 0:18:42he's desperately trying not to do the same with his right.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Despite the extreme heat and unfamiliar terrain,

0:18:45 > 0:18:49he's trying to hold off for a painstaking 25 minutes.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52- We're at 23-and-a-half minutes. - Oh, my god.

0:18:52 > 0:18:57This is the longest, Josh, you've ever gone without doing a ritual.

0:18:58 > 0:19:02- Can you give me a number for your anxiety?- Seven.- Seven?

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Five, four,

0:19:11 > 0:19:14three, two, one...

0:19:14 > 0:19:1625 minutes!

0:19:16 > 0:19:18OTHERS CHEER

0:19:20 > 0:19:24Josh has reached his target, but instead of ending his pain,

0:19:24 > 0:19:28he decides to keep on going, and Travis is stunned.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31He's just pushing and pushing and pushing himself

0:19:31 > 0:19:33to go further and further,

0:19:33 > 0:19:39even though he's having a really extreme panic attack right now.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Do you want us to hike, Josh?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Yeah?

0:19:50 > 0:19:53Are we nearly on 29, Travis?

0:19:55 > 0:19:58A couple of seconds until 29.

0:19:58 > 0:19:59Amazing.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Right, Josh...- Josh!

0:20:02 > 0:20:05- You've got ten...- I'll count down.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Ten, nine, eight, seven,

0:20:09 > 0:20:13six, five, four, three, two...

0:20:13 > 0:20:16- Come on, Josh. - ..one.- Yes!- Good job!

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Oh, my god!

0:20:18 > 0:20:2030 minutes, Josh.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Half an hour is incredible!

0:20:22 > 0:20:2530 minutes. You go do whatever you need to do right now.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Probably collapse!

0:20:34 > 0:20:37That's just so much for me.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39I can do so much with that.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43I can do so much. Just everything with that.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45So I'm really, really happy.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50For some of them,

0:20:50 > 0:20:54they realise that they have nine days to make an impact.

0:20:57 > 0:21:02They're terrifying themselves over and over and over again,

0:21:02 > 0:21:04and imagine how exhausting that is.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08They're completing an ultra-marathon here.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13Josh's triumph spurs everyone on to keep trekking.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17- How's everyone doing? Good? - Good.- Massive.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24But an hour later, walking along a cliff edge

0:21:24 > 0:21:28proves too much for Jack and triggers another side to his OCD -

0:21:28 > 0:21:33not germs this time, but intrusive thoughts about harming people,

0:21:33 > 0:21:36something the group haven't seen before.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38I know we're getting higher,

0:21:38 > 0:21:40so the higher we get, the more dangerous it gets,

0:21:40 > 0:21:43the more the intrusive thoughts are going to come.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46Although Jack has never harmed anyone,

0:21:46 > 0:21:49he's had thoughts like this before, which cause him to panic.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52And as he can't stop until the next camp,

0:21:52 > 0:21:56he uses skills he's learnt so far to face his fears out loud.

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Maybe I could push someone down.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02Maybe I could push someone down.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Maybe I could push someone down.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Maybe I could push someone down.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Maybe I could push Olivia down the hill.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Maybe I could push Megan down the hill.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Maybe I could push Josh down the hill...

0:22:20 > 0:22:25As soon as they reach camp, Jack removes himself from the group.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29He was down on the dock and I went down and said, "What's going on?"

0:22:29 > 0:22:33And he said, "The images are so loud."

0:22:33 > 0:22:36He was having thoughts of harming Imogen, of beating her up,

0:22:36 > 0:22:39of punching her in the face,

0:22:39 > 0:22:43and it was just this intrusive image over and over of, I think,

0:22:43 > 0:22:48of her just on her knees and him just beating on her.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55I think Jack is just so pissed off,

0:22:55 > 0:23:00and frustrated and angry that OCD has robbed him of his life.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03And it's robbed him of the things that he loves.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08The worst of Jack's panic attack may be over,

0:23:08 > 0:23:09but it's really shaken him up.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13It made me cry. It made me really, really, really cry.

0:23:13 > 0:23:17I've not cried like that since I was a kid.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20There's absolutely a direct link between the fact that we're

0:23:20 > 0:23:23kind of getting towards the end a little bit now.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27At home, I've got my mum, I've got my dad, I've got my brother,

0:23:27 > 0:23:30I've got family, yeah, a couple of really good friends,

0:23:30 > 0:23:33but...they understand it to a point.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36They understand it to a good point, as well,

0:23:36 > 0:23:39because they've all lived with it for so long,

0:23:39 > 0:23:43but they don't get it in the same way that those five people

0:23:43 > 0:23:45that are cooking dinner right now do.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50- Is that a splint?- Yeah...

0:23:50 > 0:23:51SHE LAUGHS

0:23:51 > 0:23:53- It's like a broken leg.- Oh, stop!

0:23:53 > 0:23:57I forgot that the boiling water would totally melt the adhesive.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59THEY LAUGH

0:24:00 > 0:24:03It's been an emotionally charged day for everyone,

0:24:03 > 0:24:08but Josh at least wants to celebrate reaching a personal best.

0:24:08 > 0:24:09Ohh!

0:24:11 > 0:24:13JOSH GASPS

0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Jesus Christ!- Is it cold?

0:24:18 > 0:24:20One, two, three, go!

0:24:20 > 0:24:22THEY SHRIEK

0:24:23 > 0:24:27Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

0:24:27 > 0:24:30That's cold. That's cold.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32I really enjoyed it, I'm glad I did it.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Oh, my god!

0:24:34 > 0:24:37THEY GASP

0:24:42 > 0:24:45As the group settle down for the night,

0:24:45 > 0:24:47nature calls for Olivia.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Her contamination OCD means she's terrified

0:24:50 > 0:24:51of smelling badly,

0:24:51 > 0:24:54and she now has to face her worst fear -

0:24:54 > 0:24:58a dirty, smelly long-drop loo out in the woods.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01You're allowed to tell me how bad it is.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04I didn't sit on the seat, and I just tried not to look down the hole.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06I'm just going to look.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Ohh! That is rank! Oh, my god!

0:25:09 > 0:25:12How did anyone get changed in there?

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Ohh!

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Urgh! I don't think I can use that.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18No, it's disgusting.

0:25:19 > 0:25:24- OK, you want to just go for it? - Ohh!- OK. That makes sense.

0:25:24 > 0:25:25I know this is huge.

0:25:25 > 0:25:30This is, I think, the hardest thing we've had so far, isn't it? Yeah.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Ugh! I'll just have to use it.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36This is the one place Travis can't hold her hand.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38She's got to do this on her own.

0:25:41 > 0:25:42SHE COUGHS AND SOBS

0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Are you OK?- Ugh!

0:25:46 > 0:25:48SHE COUGHS

0:25:49 > 0:25:51How are you doing?

0:25:51 > 0:25:52MUFFLED REPLY

0:25:52 > 0:25:54VOICE BREAKING: I haven't moved.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56SHE COUGHS

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Oh, God! I don't want to go near the door.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Say when?

0:26:02 > 0:26:05Olivia has come through her biggest challenge yet.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08It's a massive victory over her OCD.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11I was about to be sick.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Like, being in the room was just absolutely horrific.

0:26:14 > 0:26:15It was so, so bad.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17I think I could probably use anything now,

0:26:17 > 0:26:19because that was so bad.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22- Normal life is going to be so much easier.- Good job, OK?

0:26:22 > 0:26:24What did you call it?

0:26:24 > 0:26:26Olivia just did the single hardest exposure

0:26:26 > 0:26:29literally of her entire life. She used that toilet.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32That is not a toilet. That is a cess pit.

0:26:32 > 0:26:3410 out of 10.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36APPLAUSE

0:26:36 > 0:26:38- Well done.- Attagirl!

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Good work.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Do you have a little bit of water we could borrow?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Campfire lit, they reflect on their achievements so far.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51High point's probably leading the trek

0:26:51 > 0:26:56because I felt quite important, I suppose, leading it,

0:26:56 > 0:27:01and also having my photo done with Megan and Imogen.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07I don't really have any friends, you know, I lost touch with everybody.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09I don't really get the chance to have many photos done,

0:27:09 > 0:27:13so to have a photo done with two really nice girls...

0:27:15 > 0:27:17..it's something that's...

0:27:17 > 0:27:19GIRLS GIGGLE

0:27:19 > 0:27:21- There'll be many more. - Yeah, loads more.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24When you first learned about this programme,

0:27:24 > 0:27:29that you were going out in the woods for some sort of camp,

0:27:29 > 0:27:32what did you think about that?

0:27:32 > 0:27:35I think, for me, the trek I always thought was going to be

0:27:35 > 0:27:38the hardest point, because I get so tired so easily,

0:27:38 > 0:27:41so I thought that actually by doing this

0:27:41 > 0:27:46would kind of help push my OCD to try and eat more,

0:27:46 > 0:27:51because I can't do a lot because I run out of energy so quickly.

0:27:51 > 0:27:55There are things out here which you can't do in a doctor's office.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58Being in a doctor's office,

0:27:58 > 0:28:02it's just a total sterile environment,

0:28:02 > 0:28:05and this environment, it brings out the best in people

0:28:05 > 0:28:08but it also brings out the worst in people.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11But you need to see both those sides of people

0:28:11 > 0:28:14to actually try and get better.

0:28:27 > 0:28:30Next morning, and time for another trek.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33But no-one's in a hurry to get started.

0:28:38 > 0:28:41Good morning, everybody!

0:28:41 > 0:28:45Good morning! Good morning!

0:28:45 > 0:28:47Hello, hello, hello!

0:28:47 > 0:28:48Morning!

0:28:48 > 0:28:50Big Bear.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52Big Bear!

0:28:54 > 0:28:57What is it with Americans?

0:28:57 > 0:28:59So happy, Americans.

0:29:01 > 0:29:03Just give us our morning. God!

0:29:03 > 0:29:07No, go have your morning out there. Look at the mountains, it's AMAZING!

0:29:07 > 0:29:08I know, I looked at it loads!

0:29:11 > 0:29:13After their rude awakening,

0:29:13 > 0:29:17Pete decides to check in on their progress - American-style.

0:29:17 > 0:29:22So let's start with...a personal weather report.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25So we'll just go around really quick and just tell us

0:29:25 > 0:29:28how you guys are doing right now in this moment.

0:29:28 > 0:29:30Heat wave.

0:29:32 > 0:29:34I don't know why.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36I like it, I like it, it's nice.

0:29:36 > 0:29:42I am having a rainbow, so some sun with quite a bit of rain.

0:29:44 > 0:29:47I'm having a sunny day, just a good day.

0:29:47 > 0:29:51I am sunny with a couple of clouds moving in from...

0:29:54 > 0:29:59..the west, which will hopefully pass on by and continue being sunny.

0:29:59 > 0:30:02Light rain forecast and thunder.

0:30:02 > 0:30:06I've always got really thick, black clouds over me, but it's one

0:30:06 > 0:30:10of them days where I think a decent amount of sun is getting through.

0:30:10 > 0:30:14After a mixed report, Pete hits them with what they're doing today.

0:30:14 > 0:30:19OK, so we are hiking to Moore Point,

0:30:19 > 0:30:22and if everyone can look out this way,

0:30:22 > 0:30:24you see that huge cliff right there?

0:30:25 > 0:30:28And how there's a little plateau at the top?

0:30:28 > 0:30:32That's where the trail goes. We're going to go right over that.

0:30:32 > 0:30:34So we have a hill to climb.

0:30:34 > 0:30:37This will be your first wilderness camp site,

0:30:37 > 0:30:38completely wilderness camp site.

0:30:38 > 0:30:44No privies, no picnic tables, no shelter, nothing.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47What do you think, Imogen?

0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Yay(!) - THEY LAUGH

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Today's kind of all about pacing.

0:30:54 > 0:31:00You know, fighting OCD is kind of a lifetime...challenge,

0:31:00 > 0:31:04and you're going to be best positioned if you pace yourself.

0:31:11 > 0:31:15They have a long way to go, but only minutes in,

0:31:15 > 0:31:17the cliff edge proves too much for Megan.

0:31:19 > 0:31:23Thoughts of her family being harmed are coming thick and fast.

0:31:23 > 0:31:24What just popped into your mind?

0:31:24 > 0:31:29When we climbed that hill then, I pictured my dad falling down

0:31:29 > 0:31:31- and hitting his head.- OK.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33I just keep seeing it over and over again.

0:31:33 > 0:31:37- So it's just cycling.- And him just lying there lifeless at the bottom.

0:31:37 > 0:31:41I just feel so guilty and stressed.

0:31:41 > 0:31:44Megan would normally deal with her panic attack by constantly

0:31:44 > 0:31:46repeating good thoughts in her head.

0:31:46 > 0:31:50But now, she's determined to ride out her obsessions

0:31:50 > 0:31:53in an attempt to break the torturous cycle.

0:31:53 > 0:31:54- It keeps flashing in my mind.- OK.

0:31:54 > 0:31:56I just want you to try to stay with it,

0:31:56 > 0:32:00try not to distract yourself or shift away from it, OK?

0:32:00 > 0:32:04When I get anxious, though, it's just like a mess in my head.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06- It's kind of a jumble?- Yeah.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09- I can't check if they're OK.- Yeah.

0:32:09 > 0:32:11Yeah, being out here almost makes the exposure harder

0:32:11 > 0:32:15because you can't just call them or run to the other room.

0:32:15 > 0:32:18He could have just dropped down somewhere and I have no idea.

0:32:18 > 0:32:19Right, right.

0:32:19 > 0:32:21Is that image still cycling?

0:32:21 > 0:32:26- It's, like, a five now.- Five? OK. And you still haven't ritualised?

0:32:26 > 0:32:30- No.- Good, you're doing a great job. Good work.

0:32:30 > 0:32:32- Thank you.- All right.

0:32:33 > 0:32:37That was the most anxious I got, so I've achieved more than I thought.

0:32:37 > 0:32:42Initially, I wanted to just have a minute of the day without OCD,

0:32:42 > 0:32:45but now I feel like I can do a lot more than that.

0:33:01 > 0:33:05After a couple of hours, it's mission accomplished

0:33:05 > 0:33:06and the troop reach the top.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10And you, Big Bear?

0:33:10 > 0:33:11THEY LAUGH

0:33:11 > 0:33:14But for Andrew, there's one last mountain to climb.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19So far at camp, he has been helped with his fear of rejection.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21- Shall we sit here?- Yeah, yeah.

0:33:21 > 0:33:24But it's a crippling fear of the number 13

0:33:24 > 0:33:26that causes him the most problems.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28And Pete wants to address that now.

0:33:28 > 0:33:33He uses the nearest thing to hand to trigger it - Andrew's camera.

0:33:33 > 0:33:35CAMERA BLEEPS

0:33:35 > 0:33:37Bring up menu.

0:33:37 > 0:33:40One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

0:33:40 > 0:33:4311, 12, 13... I'm on there.

0:33:43 > 0:33:47- OK. So that was another exposure right there?- Just doing that.

0:33:47 > 0:33:50Toggle between them a few times,

0:33:50 > 0:33:54turn it on and off about four times, and each of them times, it'll be

0:33:54 > 0:33:59a complex movement between different items carefully planned out.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01Turn it off then, obviously I would have to turn it back on,

0:34:01 > 0:34:05do that whole process again, turn it off, turn it back on.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08OK. Can you stop yourself from doing that?

0:34:08 > 0:34:10- Yeah, I don't intend to.- OK.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13Andrew's OCD about 13 is so strong

0:34:13 > 0:34:16that even the smallest link can trigger it.

0:34:16 > 0:34:21Tell me one more time, just so I know for sure why "program" is a problem.

0:34:21 > 0:34:24Program is a problem because it ends in M,

0:34:24 > 0:34:28and M is the 13th letter in the alphabet. So by going on program,

0:34:28 > 0:34:31we're just coming into contact with 13.

0:34:31 > 0:34:33- So you're going to go to program. - Yep.

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Then talk me through, tell me what's going on.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38What's happening in your head?

0:34:38 > 0:34:42Yeah, there is something in my mind now telling me that, you know...

0:34:45 > 0:34:47..there's something not quite right.

0:34:47 > 0:34:49If I have a bad bout a really bad bout of depression

0:34:49 > 0:34:51over the next few days,

0:34:51 > 0:34:54that is the time that I'm going to be likely to grab it and do it.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56It's just about sticking with it.

0:34:56 > 0:35:00I can easily do all of this now, as horrible as it is, but the hard

0:35:00 > 0:35:03part is going to be not getting tempted to try and rectify it.

0:35:03 > 0:35:06Oh, you will be tempted. You absolutely will be.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09This is a lot like the other exposures we've done before

0:35:09 > 0:35:10at Island Wood, isn't it?

0:35:10 > 0:35:15I will be tempted because it's just going to be on my mind,

0:35:15 > 0:35:20- it's just something.- So the question is, right now, Andrew,

0:35:20 > 0:35:23are you willing to tolerate all of that stress?

0:35:23 > 0:35:26Yeah, because I feel really positive.

0:35:26 > 0:35:30If I were at home, I'd say no, I'm not. But I'm positive

0:35:30 > 0:35:33and I'm with lots of people and I've got exciting things happening, so...

0:35:33 > 0:35:35so I'm prepared to.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38- Well done.- Thank you, yeah.

0:35:40 > 0:35:44I think what I've learned from Pete and Travis is that

0:35:44 > 0:35:46although number 13 is a big issue

0:35:46 > 0:35:49and a lot of things centre around it, that is more like

0:35:49 > 0:35:53a covering point for the fact that I've got no independence,

0:35:53 > 0:35:57no friends, no social life, and this has really, really opened my eyes.

0:35:57 > 0:36:00And I know for a fact that if I did build up a social life

0:36:00 > 0:36:03and keep in touch with everybody,

0:36:03 > 0:36:07then that is actually an indirect way of combating 13,

0:36:07 > 0:36:10because the more confident I feel, the less likely

0:36:10 > 0:36:14I feel compelled to have to hide behind routines from everything.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28With the toughest part of the trek over,

0:36:28 > 0:36:32it takes one last push for the team to reach their final camp spot.

0:36:32 > 0:36:36After two days of trekking, it's a massive achievement.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39- Congratulations.- Thank you.

0:36:39 > 0:36:40Yeah!

0:36:41 > 0:36:45All right, you guys, you can do whatever you want for a while.

0:36:45 > 0:36:48Enjoy.

0:36:48 > 0:36:53While the others relax, it's more exposure time for Jack and Imogen.

0:36:53 > 0:36:56As fear of food is such a major part of their OCD,

0:36:56 > 0:36:58it's down to them to make dinner.

0:36:58 > 0:37:00Move it back maybe a centimetre or so.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02Jack's starting to cope with preparing meals outdoors,

0:37:02 > 0:37:06but Imogen's problems stem from the types of food she's exposed to.

0:37:06 > 0:37:11And on tonight's menu is one that triggers her OCD thoughts of harm.

0:37:11 > 0:37:17I can't eat pizza because it is a bad food, which my OCD has decided,

0:37:17 > 0:37:21which REALLY sucks, because it is, like, my favourite thing.

0:37:21 > 0:37:27And that just shows how horrid OCD can be.

0:37:27 > 0:37:31Why can we not just have something grim or meaty every night,

0:37:31 > 0:37:37why are we having pizza for the third time since we've been here?

0:37:37 > 0:37:39I think it's a personal thing against you.

0:37:39 > 0:37:42Yeah, I think it is as well. I think someone's out to get me.

0:37:43 > 0:37:48It's absolutely horrible, and when it affects something like food,

0:37:48 > 0:37:51people don't realise, do they? People don't get how...

0:37:51 > 0:37:55You know, it's kind of one of the biggest things in our lives.

0:37:55 > 0:37:58You better tell me it smells disgusting. When you're eating...

0:37:58 > 0:38:01It does smell disgusting. I ain't going to eat it.

0:38:01 > 0:38:02I'm in the same camp as you.

0:38:10 > 0:38:12'I hate to say it, but OCD is one of these things

0:38:12 > 0:38:14'that doesn't actually go away.'

0:38:16 > 0:38:19I think you can learn to control it,

0:38:19 > 0:38:22but it's always going to be part of you, and that sucks.

0:38:22 > 0:38:26But you don't have to be that person, because you can take a stand

0:38:26 > 0:38:31and one day, I hope that I will be able to go to a restaurant and

0:38:31 > 0:38:36order anything I want, eat it and not feel bad, and maybe the next

0:38:36 > 0:38:40day, if I've got a job or something and I'm feeling a bit stressed, I'll

0:38:40 > 0:38:45tap my desk before I leave and I'll just think to myself, "I'm stressed,

0:38:45 > 0:38:48"I tapped my desk, it's done",

0:38:48 > 0:38:50and then carry on life as normal so everyone will think,

0:38:50 > 0:38:53"You've got a handle on it and you're OK."

0:39:05 > 0:39:09It's the final day in Washington's wilderness. No-one's going

0:39:09 > 0:39:13to miss the cold and damp, or unwelcome guests in the night.

0:39:13 > 0:39:16You're all dead asleep.

0:39:16 > 0:39:22Josh is snoring and all of a sudden, I hear, "What, what, what?"

0:39:22 > 0:39:24SHE LAUGHS

0:39:24 > 0:39:28And I go over there and Jack is...he's vertical.

0:39:28 > 0:39:30I've never moved quicker in my entire life,

0:39:30 > 0:39:34because a mouse ran onto my face and into my sleeping bag.

0:39:34 > 0:39:37So I had a mouse literally go down my sleeping bag so I've gone,

0:39:37 > 0:39:39literally, "hrrrm".

0:39:39 > 0:39:42I think we need a little bit of wildlife on this trip.

0:39:42 > 0:39:46The end of the trek may be a welcome relief for some.

0:39:46 > 0:39:48I've got two blisters and a black toenail.

0:39:48 > 0:39:51It's obviously because of all that walking we've done.

0:39:51 > 0:39:53But despite the woods being tough,

0:39:53 > 0:39:56the thought of going home is even tougher.

0:39:56 > 0:39:59They're going home tomorrow.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04Wow, they're going home tomorrow.

0:40:04 > 0:40:06Or at least they're going to be out of our hands tomorrow.

0:40:10 > 0:40:14For me, I think I may be taking it harder than the majority are here.

0:40:14 > 0:40:18I feel very scared and very anxious,

0:40:18 > 0:40:21and I'm not looking forward to it.

0:40:21 > 0:40:24I'm not looking forward to anything of going home.

0:40:27 > 0:40:31After Josh's great achievement at camp, he's desperate to get home,

0:40:31 > 0:40:35and for the first time be more open with his friends about OCD.

0:40:39 > 0:40:43That is one of my biggest regrets - instead of just being honest

0:40:43 > 0:40:46with them, I just got scared and lied to them.

0:40:46 > 0:40:48I really, really do miss them.

0:40:50 > 0:40:52I hope that this trip will help me just to get out there,

0:40:52 > 0:40:55get back there,

0:40:55 > 0:40:58rekindle some old friendships

0:40:58 > 0:41:01and hopefully make some new ones as well.

0:41:03 > 0:41:05With less than 24 hours to go,

0:41:05 > 0:41:08Imogen wants to use the time as best she can.

0:41:09 > 0:41:12Up to now, she's been able to hold an M&M to her lips

0:41:12 > 0:41:15for just a few seconds.

0:41:15 > 0:41:18Despite her intense fear this could bring harm to her family,

0:41:18 > 0:41:22she's going to take the risk and see how much further she can go.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34OK, that was six minutes.

0:41:36 > 0:41:40I think back to when I first had that M&M in my hand

0:41:40 > 0:41:43and I could hold it to my lips for two seconds.

0:41:43 > 0:41:45I was so, so scared,

0:41:45 > 0:41:50and now I can hold it for, like, ten minutes.

0:41:55 > 0:41:58'She is jumping leaps and bounds ahead.'

0:42:00 > 0:42:02Imogen's confidence is at an all-time high,

0:42:02 > 0:42:05so she pushes herself one step further.

0:42:05 > 0:42:09Almost spontaneously, she stuck out her tongue.

0:42:16 > 0:42:17Oh, Imogen!

0:42:19 > 0:42:21Imogen.

0:42:21 > 0:42:26'What this means is it's just a huge hope and confidence for progress.'

0:42:40 > 0:42:44With over four hours to kill in the van, Imogen's triumph

0:42:44 > 0:42:48with the M&M inspires Jack to go further than he's ever been, too.

0:42:48 > 0:42:51Up until just a few days ago, sharing a water bottle would

0:42:51 > 0:42:56have been unthinkable, but today, he's willing to give it a try.

0:42:56 > 0:42:59- Are you going to be the sipper? - I'll be the sipper.

0:43:04 > 0:43:07- Is this a brand new bottle? - A brand new bottle.

0:43:07 > 0:43:10- Oh, that's a shame. - It is a bloody shame.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15That was a little bit more than a sip.

0:43:15 > 0:43:16- Is that OK?- Yeah.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19- Cap it, and hand it back? - Yeah, yeah, hand it back.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22I saw Pete brushing his teeth yesterday,

0:43:22 > 0:43:24so I know he's a good teeth-brusher.

0:43:24 > 0:43:28That makes everything a hell of a lot easier. But...

0:43:28 > 0:43:30I didn't this morning, though.

0:43:33 > 0:43:35- Now that's cruel.- Yes!

0:43:36 > 0:43:38Well done!

0:43:38 > 0:43:41- What's your number right now? - About six-and-a-half.

0:43:41 > 0:43:47The group wait anxiously for Jack's panic to rise, but it doesn't.

0:43:47 > 0:43:50A week ago, it would have been an eight or a nine,

0:43:50 > 0:43:53but I think because it's been three days of just being dirty

0:43:53 > 0:43:56and going through all the other exposures, it kind of, yeah,

0:43:56 > 0:43:59it feels lower, it feels more manageable.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02I don't want to be, like, eating out of toilets when I get home,

0:44:02 > 0:44:06but I want to at least be able to eat within 100 yards of one.

0:44:08 > 0:44:10American road trips, that's what you do.

0:44:10 > 0:44:14Apparently you change on American road trips. Cue music.

0:44:14 > 0:44:17MUSIC: "When You Were Young" by The Killers

0:44:22 > 0:44:25- HE SINGS ALONG WITH RADIO - # You sit there in your heartache

0:44:25 > 0:44:29# Waiting on some beautiful boy...

0:44:29 > 0:44:33# To save you from your old ways

0:44:33 > 0:44:36# Watch him now, here he come... #

0:44:36 > 0:44:40The highs and lows of OCD Camp have affected everyone,

0:44:40 > 0:44:43but it's clear this roller coaster ride isn't over

0:44:43 > 0:44:45when Andrew's mood suddenly turns again.

0:44:45 > 0:44:48OLIVIA: You know you've made five friends for life, like we all have.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50- ANDREW:- I don't fit in like everybody else.

0:44:50 > 0:44:52Yes, you do.

0:44:52 > 0:44:56I never will do, there's just no point. I'm just fed-up.

0:44:56 > 0:44:59PETE: How many people in this van have ever been in a place where

0:44:59 > 0:45:02you just didn't feel like fighting any more?

0:45:02 > 0:45:04- JORDEN:- Twenty...two times today.

0:45:04 > 0:45:06How many times today?

0:45:08 > 0:45:12I appreciate everything that every nice person has ever done for me,

0:45:12 > 0:45:16but there's just too many bad people for me to cope with.

0:45:16 > 0:45:19I can't cope with life.

0:45:19 > 0:45:22There's too many things I can't... I just can't cope with.

0:45:22 > 0:45:25But if the bad people are bad, they're not worth bothering with.

0:45:25 > 0:45:27Yeah, but it might not be them people that are bad,

0:45:27 > 0:45:29it's me that nobody likes.

0:45:31 > 0:45:34As well as it just being because I was worried that people weren't

0:45:34 > 0:45:38listening to me and talking to me, I think it was that sense of

0:45:38 > 0:45:42it's all changing in two days, the end's coming, and it just threw me.

0:45:42 > 0:45:45'I'm actually really sad about going home,

0:45:45 > 0:45:48'because I've not got much of a life back home, so obviously

0:45:48 > 0:45:52'I'm extremely worried that I might end up going back to how I were.'

0:45:52 > 0:45:54If I can just stay in touch with these people

0:45:54 > 0:45:59and build on what I've learnt, then hopefully I can move forward.

0:45:59 > 0:46:01- JACK:- It's just bad days, man, bad days and good days.

0:46:01 > 0:46:03You'll have loads more bad days and good days.

0:46:03 > 0:46:05But you're glad you came, ain't you?

0:46:05 > 0:46:08Oh, course I am. Course I am.

0:46:08 > 0:46:10It's the best thing I've done in my life.

0:46:12 > 0:46:17There's a level of worry that I have for all of them,

0:46:17 > 0:46:21that we can't take them home with us, we're not moving to the UK.

0:46:23 > 0:46:25That they're on their own.

0:46:28 > 0:46:33From tomorrow, they'll be battling with their OCD alone, so Pete

0:46:33 > 0:46:37has a keepsake for them all to help remember what they've learnt.

0:46:37 > 0:46:39We have something for you.

0:46:39 > 0:46:43And...it's a little dragon charm.

0:46:43 > 0:46:48Eleanor Roosevelt said a really great thing, which was,

0:46:48 > 0:46:51"Do something that scares you every day."

0:46:54 > 0:46:57So when you look at this,

0:46:57 > 0:47:00I encourage you to think about that.

0:47:03 > 0:47:07I reckon the trip's probably the best decision I've made so far,

0:47:07 > 0:47:11I think, in my life, probably. There's two ways I can look at this.

0:47:11 > 0:47:13I can look at it as an amazing, brilliant experience

0:47:13 > 0:47:17and an opportunity to set myself up, hopefully, for the rest of my life,

0:47:17 > 0:47:22in a really positive way, or I can just drop back to old habits.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25It's a really great opportunity to go home

0:47:25 > 0:47:27and finally start living.

0:47:29 > 0:47:33I've got a long way to go, but like I said when I first came here,

0:47:33 > 0:47:38I just needed that one big push just to get me going again.

0:47:40 > 0:47:43And I've been given a bigger push than I expected.

0:47:43 > 0:47:48I want that degree that I personally think that I truly deserve,

0:47:48 > 0:47:50and I want that job that I deserve.

0:47:50 > 0:47:53I want that life that I deserve. It's definitely going to happen.

0:47:53 > 0:47:54It's just a matter of when, really.

0:47:56 > 0:47:58I've had fish all over my hands,

0:47:58 > 0:48:01I've had onions all over my hands, used the most disgusting toilets

0:48:01 > 0:48:04in the world and no-one has stayed away from me.

0:48:04 > 0:48:08Everyone has been very close. No-one has been disgusted.

0:48:08 > 0:48:10My independence has massively improved.

0:48:10 > 0:48:13Like, the one thing that I came out here to mainly do was to just

0:48:13 > 0:48:15be able to make decisions on my own.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20'I'm kind of frustrated that I didn't have the opportunity to do

0:48:20 > 0:48:24'this earlier, because I think I would have had a much easier life.'

0:48:24 > 0:48:27I still care the same amount about my family, obviously,

0:48:27 > 0:48:32but I'm learning that it's not my job to look after them

0:48:32 > 0:48:34as much as I do in my head.

0:48:37 > 0:48:42There are people here who have the same fears that I have, and I always

0:48:42 > 0:48:47thought I was alone, and I always thought, "What is wrong with me?"

0:48:47 > 0:48:49People do understand.

0:48:51 > 0:48:55It'll kind of, hopefully, give me a little boost in the morning just

0:48:55 > 0:48:59to press on and work that bit harder to get where you want to be in life.

0:49:04 > 0:49:06You know what? I really did do it, I achieved it.

0:49:06 > 0:49:10I managed to survive without my mum on my own.

0:49:10 > 0:49:14Sharing bedrooms with people, you know, hot tubs.

0:49:16 > 0:49:19I've done all this in a country on the other side of the world.

0:49:19 > 0:49:23If you'd asked most people if I could achieve that...

0:49:23 > 0:49:27but I've done it, so another thing I've proved them wrong with.

0:49:40 > 0:49:44And to say thank you, there's also a present for Pete.

0:49:44 > 0:49:46It seems like if we give you this,

0:49:46 > 0:49:50we have the final say on nationalities.

0:49:50 > 0:49:52THEY LAUGH

0:49:54 > 0:49:55PETE: Thank you, guys.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00They may have survived camp,

0:50:00 > 0:50:03but their greatest challenge is yet to come -

0:50:03 > 0:50:06whether they can fight their OCD back home.

0:50:19 > 0:50:22Back in England, Jack's wish for independence is slowly

0:50:22 > 0:50:25- becoming a reality.- Ladies first.

0:50:26 > 0:50:30Including going to restaurants with a good friend and her son.

0:50:30 > 0:50:32Thanks a lot, cheers.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36'Things have changed.'

0:50:36 > 0:50:40It's like, when I'm outside, I'm not wearing gloves, I'm not quite

0:50:40 > 0:50:43so obsessive about sell-by dates on food,

0:50:43 > 0:50:45I'm eating off plates quite regular.

0:50:47 > 0:50:50- You still can't use normal cutlery. - No, I mean, I want to try it.

0:50:50 > 0:50:53Everything about me wants to try using the regular cutlery today,

0:50:53 > 0:50:56- because I actually feel quite good for it...- Yeah.

0:50:56 > 0:50:59..but I know it's probably a little bit of a step too far.

0:51:00 > 0:51:02'It feels like I'm getting there slowly.'

0:51:02 > 0:51:04I am a million miles from where I want to be, but then...

0:51:04 > 0:51:08Yeah, but you're a million miles further than you were.

0:51:08 > 0:51:11Despite still having a strong fear of germs,

0:51:11 > 0:51:14he's now more hands on than ever before.

0:51:14 > 0:51:16Oh, look at him!

0:51:17 > 0:51:20Nice to just sit here and have a little cuddle with one.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23I mean, obviously, I have to wash my hands afterwards,

0:51:23 > 0:51:26but it's still nice to be able to at least try it a bit.

0:51:26 > 0:51:28When I'm going through the things that I'm going through,

0:51:28 > 0:51:31I'm able to deal with them in a lot calmer fashion, really.

0:51:31 > 0:51:33It's not quite so chaotic.

0:51:33 > 0:51:35I didn't choose this, I didn't choose this life.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38I didn't choose this horrible, horrible condition.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41Erm, but I do choose to get better from it.

0:51:45 > 0:51:47- THEY LAUGH - Sorry!

0:51:50 > 0:51:53As for Imogen, life since camp has been a fresh start.

0:51:53 > 0:51:56I wouldn't say it's the end of my OCD.

0:51:56 > 0:52:01I'd say it's the beginning of my new way of looking at OCD.

0:52:01 > 0:52:06Each day is a battle, but she's trying to tap less and less.

0:52:06 > 0:52:09Obviously I am still scared a lot, you know, there are things

0:52:09 > 0:52:15that I think to myself, "Oh, my god, I can't do this".

0:52:15 > 0:52:17I think it's always going to be a monster in the back of my head

0:52:17 > 0:52:21but hopefully it won't come out so much.

0:52:23 > 0:52:26Imogen is also fighting her intrusive thoughts that stop

0:52:26 > 0:52:29her eating and drinking what she wants.

0:52:29 > 0:52:32'I can drink tea and coffee.'

0:52:32 > 0:52:36Not hot chocolate yet, and M&M's I'm still working with.

0:52:36 > 0:52:39I haven't been able to eat a whole M&M yet.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41I think I usually get, like, maybe a quarter

0:52:41 > 0:52:45and then end up having to chuck it, but, you know, we're getting there.

0:52:47 > 0:52:49Since the return from camp,

0:52:49 > 0:52:53Olivia is pushing herself every day to overcome her fear of smells.

0:52:53 > 0:52:58Please can I have two pieces of salmon? Like, little piece...

0:53:00 > 0:53:03The thing I'm most proud of since I got back is I think

0:53:03 > 0:53:07I used to take maybe 20 pictures a day on my phone of toilets

0:53:07 > 0:53:11and dirty seats and things that I thought were dirty, for reassurance.

0:53:11 > 0:53:15And I've taken three in maybe three weeks, two-and-a-half weeks.

0:53:20 > 0:53:23Great presentation skills.

0:53:23 > 0:53:26Yeah, I definitely feel more positive about the future now.

0:53:28 > 0:53:33As for Megan, her OCD had caused her to drop out of university,

0:53:33 > 0:53:35but since going to camp, she's back.

0:53:35 > 0:53:39I feel now I can actually have a normal life

0:53:39 > 0:53:41and get a normal job like everyone else,

0:53:41 > 0:53:46because if I couldn't do uni I think I felt like I couldn't do anything.

0:53:46 > 0:53:48- How are you?- Hello.

0:53:48 > 0:53:52Camp has had a massive impact, a really positive impact on my life.

0:53:52 > 0:53:56I get the same number of thoughts, but I know now how to deal with

0:53:56 > 0:54:02the anxiety and not ritualise, so I feel really positive about my future.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08- Bye!- See you.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13Andrew's OCD had made him almost a recluse.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16Now his confidence is building every day.

0:54:16 > 0:54:19I've been trying to take Cookie out and we'll go to t'shop every day.

0:54:19 > 0:54:22That's like an exposure to get me more confident with being out.

0:54:22 > 0:54:25I've got such a lot less will to do routines

0:54:25 > 0:54:29when I feel as though I've got a life outside of the house.

0:54:33 > 0:54:36And it wasn't just the camp that made an impact,

0:54:36 > 0:54:37but the people he was with.

0:54:39 > 0:54:42Making them friends in America meant a lot to me.

0:54:44 > 0:54:46You see, like there, six notifications.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49It's been pretty much zero for three years straight,

0:54:49 > 0:54:52so when I get, like, seven or eight every day, it's quite nice.

0:54:52 > 0:54:56It's made me realise that I can make friends and maintain friends.

0:54:59 > 0:55:01Ah, I typed that on 13 minutes past.

0:55:01 > 0:55:05Ugh! I'm not going to let it get me down too much.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07I'm just going to try and ignore it as best I can.

0:55:09 > 0:55:12The number 13 is... It still is a big part of my identity,

0:55:12 > 0:55:16but I think I can realise more now that it doesn't have to be.

0:55:25 > 0:55:27Oh, where's that going?

0:55:27 > 0:55:31As for Josh, his symmetry OCD had prevented him getting a job.

0:55:34 > 0:55:37After the camp, things have changed.

0:55:39 > 0:55:41- Two minutes on that, chef.- Cool.

0:55:41 > 0:55:43Like, someone says, "Yes, chef."

0:55:43 > 0:55:47It's like, "Who are you talking to?" It makes you feel good, definitely.

0:55:49 > 0:55:54My OCD seems to be a lot less active when I'm constantly doing things,

0:55:54 > 0:55:56constantly sort of being stressed.

0:55:56 > 0:56:00And it's a job that I really, really think I could thrive in.

0:56:00 > 0:56:05To be able to come back from the camp and just say, "I can do that,"

0:56:05 > 0:56:08and go for it, it's a massive step.

0:56:08 > 0:56:12And the job isn't the only good news.

0:56:12 > 0:56:16Since getting back, I'm seeing someone. Erm...

0:56:17 > 0:56:19..yeah.

0:56:21 > 0:56:24She's awesome, I'm awesome. All good.

0:56:30 > 0:56:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd