0:00:02 > 0:00:05Obesity in Britain has reached crisis level, but for many couples,
0:00:05 > 0:00:07there's one thing that stops them from beating it - each other.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11You don't feel so bad, I think, if you've got a partner in crime.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Stuck in a rut of poor diets and overeating,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17it's threatening not only their health, but their relationships.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20You try to sabotage every time I try to lose weight.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22It's causing us to have the relationship break-up,
0:00:22 > 0:00:23- which is what we don't want.- Yeah.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27I'm Professor Tanya Byron. I'm a clinical psychologist.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30I want to try something radical and new.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Oh, my God!
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Four overweight couples have agreed to live apart...
0:00:34 > 0:00:37- We're going to do this, aren't we? - I love you.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39..because I'm going to separate them.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Couples stuck in an unhealthy rut can be each other's worst enemies,
0:00:42 > 0:00:45so the theory is, dramatic change happens first
0:00:45 > 0:00:47when we separate the couple.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50I'm glad that he's been scared, I am.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Each week, I'll work with one couple to try to get the root
0:00:54 > 0:00:56of what's behind their overeating.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Only when they are away from each other
0:00:58 > 0:01:00can they start to tackle their demons.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03This is my worst nightmare, this.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05And, through a health and fitness plan,
0:01:05 > 0:01:07we'll try to change them for good...
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Let's go!- I've got big feet, this is a disadvantage.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13..and break their bad habits.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Broccoli.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19Will living apart from each other for ten weeks finally succeed
0:01:19 > 0:01:20when everything else has failed?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24I've wanted to give up at least seven times a day every day.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26If it doesn't work and he's not changed,
0:01:26 > 0:01:29then me and Pete aren't going work.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37What am I meant to do with this, then?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Do what you normally do!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- WHIRRING - Oh, you pig!
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Don't! You're going to get your dinner in a minute, stop it!
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Argh!
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Bob and partner Jane live in Camberley, Surrey.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Anybody that would come to the house would say,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55"It's a good eating house, Jane always does far too much."
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I'd rather do too much as not having enough.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Bob is 56 and a window cleaner,
0:02:01 > 0:02:05while 54-year-old Jane is a shop assistant.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07We met on the internet, didn't we?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Yeah, on a dating site. - On a dating site, yeah.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11And your picture came up and I liked it.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I thought he's the proper Cockney, you know?
0:02:13 > 0:02:17The Del Boy with all the rings and the jewellery.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21In his 20s, Bob was a fit, semi-professional footballer
0:02:21 > 0:02:25and at the start of their relationship, Jane was trim too.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28I was always around a size 12,
0:02:28 > 0:02:32normally about 10 to 10½ stone.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37But now Jane has hit 16 stone while Bob has reached 20.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41I don't even recognise myself there.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45You were a happier person there than what you are now.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Yeah, because I wasn't that big.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I want to be like that again.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55But the joy they once had is now a distant memory...
0:02:55 > 0:02:56- Get off!- Hang on, hang on.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Get off!- Hang on.- Get off!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01..and Bob and Jane have developed a particular way of coping.
0:03:01 > 0:03:07We must get through, easy, 20, 25 bottles of wine a week.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Easy.- And it's putting a strain on their relationship.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Every other day, there's an argument over nothing.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Because we're doing nothing. We've got nothing to talk about.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I go in the computer room, Jane will go in the bed on the iPad,
0:03:20 > 0:03:22we've got no conversation, have we?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25We're just drifting further and further apart.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29I'd like to be able to just have fun again and go out with her
0:03:29 > 0:03:33and have a laugh, and I want us to get back to the way we were.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38In the past, Jane has tried to lose weight, hoping it would fix things.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Every diet, you name it, I've tried it.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I've been a mega yo-yo dieter.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46But as every diet stalls, they fall into a cycle
0:03:46 > 0:03:48of blaming one another for its failure.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You try to sabotage... Every time I try to lose weight,
0:03:51 > 0:03:55you try to sabotage it, because you couldn't do it.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- That is our relationship to a T. - What?
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Because if you're in a mood, you take it out on me.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Now Bob and Jane are so desperate to fix their relationship,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10they've decided to separate for ten weeks.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12It's hit home that we're not going to see each other,
0:04:12 > 0:04:14it's a big thing, really.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Yeah, it's going to be really weird, this.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19It's a brave decision, but it could be the only way
0:04:19 > 0:04:22to fix their health and their relationship.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I'm really going to miss him.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Oh, I can't even get my legs up.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Today, they are on their way to meet me before beginning the separation.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38In relationships, however much we love each other,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41we can be each other's worst enemy in terms of our health,
0:04:41 > 0:04:44in terms of our lifestyle, in terms of our weight.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47And so, separating couples can be very useful
0:04:47 > 0:04:51because, for the couple to function, what they need to do is,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54first of all to address these issues in themselves separately,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56then, when they come back together,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59they work it out as a couple.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Helping me change their deep-seated bad habits is Professor Paul Dolan,
0:05:05 > 0:05:07a behavioural scientist,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10and physiologist Rick Shakes-Braithwaite,
0:05:10 > 0:05:13who will start by giving them a full medical.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19What you're going to be doing is walking on a treadmill.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I'm putting some electrodes on so I can monitor your heart.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24It's called an exercise stress test.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27By putting them under the microscope, Rick can see the effect
0:05:27 > 0:05:30their unhealthy lifestyle has had on their bodies.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34This gives me an idea of what your maximum aerobic capacity is.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37This will also help us design a diet and fitness programme
0:05:37 > 0:05:39tailor-made for each of them.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41I'm going to do a battery of blood tests.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43We're going to check how vital organs work,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46like the kidneys and liver. Liver function's really important
0:05:46 > 0:05:49so I'm going to be checking quite a few proteins associated with
0:05:49 > 0:05:51how well the liver works in the bloodstream.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Between them, Bob and Jane drink 25 bottles of wine a week.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Alcohol is the major cause of liver disease,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01and if the liver is beyond repair,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04it could be a life-threatening condition.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I'll tell you more about these results in a while.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10A study has claimed that around 60% of people put on weight
0:06:10 > 0:06:12in a comfortable relationship.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Bob and Jane appear to be an example of this.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Ten weeks apart gives them a chance to lose weight,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19and without the influence of each other,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21help us get to root of the problem.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23How do you feel about the separation?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25We said, if this didn't come along,
0:06:25 > 0:06:28the chances are we would separate anyway.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31So this is about saving your relationship?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Yeah, big time. Big time.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35You know, all this time apart isn't going to be easy,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I'm not going to deny that,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40but if it gets us back on track,
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- then that far outweighs everything else.- OK.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47All I want to do is feel happy again.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51We haven't been happy for probably three or four years.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55How is it in your relationship? Do you feel connected to each other?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Unfortunately, Jane has got this real bad attitude.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00She wants me to give her love all the time
0:07:00 > 0:07:03but she can't give it herself. She can be so nasty to me.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07She will say the nastiest things to me sometimes, don't you?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Just because I might say something wrong.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12No, because you'll say something about my weight, or something.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I find Bob thinks I'm really unattractive.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Is that true, Bob? Do you find Jane really unattractive?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Since Jane put the weight on,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I don't find her sexually attractive.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27I find her very attractive, I don't find her sexually attractive.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Oh, Jane...- Oh. - Oh, no, no, no.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Here.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35And this is really hard for you, right?
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- When you say that, it really hurts. - I know it does, love.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43It hurts you, and it's a painful thing for you to have said.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I know he's telling me the truth.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48The truth hurts, as they say, don't they?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51But you never want your partner to think that about you.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55- So this is more than weight loss for you.- Yeah, much more.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58This is about fundamental change for both of you as individuals.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01You're looking to reconnect as a couple.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04So, Bob and Jane, I did quite a number
0:08:04 > 0:08:06of fitness and medical tests on you.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I'm going to start with those results, OK?
0:08:08 > 0:08:13Bob, of your entire body weight, you're 40% fat.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18That's double the amount you should have to be at a healthy level.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23Jane, at 52.3%,
0:08:23 > 0:08:26over half your body weight is fat.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28So these figures are much too high.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Over the next ten weeks, I'd hope that, with my plan of exercise,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36with approaching nutrition in the right way,
0:08:36 > 0:08:39we can maybe look at a stone-and-a-half,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41just to get you started.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Which brings me to one more result,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47and a result that worried me quite a bit more, OK?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Jane, I tested your liver function
0:08:49 > 0:08:52to see how well your liver's working
0:08:52 > 0:08:54and what the tests have shown me so far
0:08:54 > 0:08:58is that you're starting to show some signs of damage.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01So much so, that we're going to have to keep a close eye on it
0:09:01 > 0:09:03during the course of the programme.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05How we're going to approach
0:09:05 > 0:09:08stopping this liver from getting more diseased
0:09:08 > 0:09:10is by drinking less alcohol, eating sensibly,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13exercising and losing weight.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16You're spending, currently, about £8,000 a year
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- on alcohol alone.- Yeah, and it' eight grand we haven't got.
0:09:19 > 0:09:25So, do you think you could publicly promise to not drink alcohol at home
0:09:25 > 0:09:26till we come to see you?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29There's a whole lot of interventions we're going to work on with you.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Do you think that might be one promise you could make?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34It's achievable because we're not together.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- I could do that.- I definitely will now, about my liver!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Of course I'm going to do it.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44OK. This is actually now the moment of separation.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47OK? So you'll say goodbye now
0:09:47 > 0:09:50and you won't see each other for ten weeks.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55What are you crying for? Don't cry!
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Listen, we're going to do this. Aren't we?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03We're going to do this, eh?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07See you in ten weeks.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- OK? New people. Hm?- Yeah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I'll be a new man for you.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- See you later.- See you later.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27The next time Bob will set eyes on Jane will be in ten weeks.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31It's quite strange, it was quite emotional there, wasn't it?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Quite emotional.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36She'll be all right. She's made of strong stuff, old Jane.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40I'm going to let him see just how complacent he's got with me.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43You know, the things he says.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Because some of them do hurt my feelings.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48They'd hurt anybody's feelings, any woman.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54To give them time to concentrate on themselves, I've asked them
0:10:54 > 0:10:59to have no contact whatsoever for the first three weeks.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03During the separation, Bob will move in with his daughter Charlie.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06He's going to be sleeping in with the kids.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09As you can see, the bunk bed's quite small, but hopefully,
0:11:09 > 0:11:13by the end of ten weeks, he'll be able to fit in it perfectly.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Hello! You all right? - Yeah, you all right?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20You've got the pleasure of Daddy for ten weeks.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Now you've got the crazy house! - Yes, yes.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26I've lost half a stone just thinking about the grandkids.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Yeah, just thinking about the grandkids, I've lost half a stone.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Back in the family home, Jane is settling in to life on her own.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39It's like deathly silence!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Ohh!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It's empty. It's just the house is empty.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48It doesn't feel homely.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I'm used to either him in there with the music on
0:11:53 > 0:11:55or watching the sport, giving it large
0:11:55 > 0:11:58cos his team's losing or whatever.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02I'm going to really miss him, big style.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Before the separation, Bob and Jane both recorded everything they ate,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13so that we could adjust their diet
0:12:13 > 0:12:15and create a new food plan.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19The food diary was a diary that I asked Bob and Jane to keep
0:12:19 > 0:12:22so that when I met them, I knew exactly how many calories
0:12:22 > 0:12:25they were eating and drinking in the course of a day.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27But something doesn't quite add up in Jane's.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Hello!- Hello!- How are you?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32So I've asked Rick to pay her a visit.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Jane's best friend Wendy is there for support.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38According to this food diary,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40like, on some days you're eating less than 500 calories.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43If that was the case, then you're definitely losing weight.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I feel quite embarrassed because when I put down...
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've put a glass of wine on there.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54But what you might perceive as a glass of wine
0:12:54 > 0:12:57and what I actually see as a glass of wine...
0:12:57 > 0:12:59are probably completely different.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03So that's not a glass of wine, that's half a bottle of wine.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08So you're drinking 313 calories
0:13:08 > 0:13:10every time you drink a glass of wine.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13And I would have, easy, three of those.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17A bottle-and-a-half of wine is about 14 units of alcohol,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20so according to recent guidelines, Jane is drinking
0:13:20 > 0:13:23her weekly recommended allowance in one evening.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26If I go to bed, I'll fill that up.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29A sports protein jug?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Beyond drinking what is effectively litres of wine,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37because you're not in a state to really remember what you're eating
0:13:37 > 0:13:40at that point, there is probably food missing from the food diary.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Yeah, because I won't remember I've eaten it.- OK.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47I've now realised I have got a much bigger workload on my hands
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- than I thought originally. - I'm so sorry.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You will never give me anything like this again, all right?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Never ever again.- I promise.- I need the truth all the way through,
0:13:56 > 0:13:58otherwise I can't help you,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01so you've got to be honest about every last thing.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03- I'm sorry.- She will.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Now Rick can finally give Jane the food plan
0:14:05 > 0:14:08a dietician has designed for her.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09There are no banned foods.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12However, she must eat at regular meal times
0:14:12 > 0:14:15and control her portion sizes to reduce her calorie intake
0:14:15 > 0:14:17to around 1,400 a day.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Rick hopes that, combined with an exercise plan,
0:14:20 > 0:14:22she will lose two to three pounds a week.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26You've not been doing any exercise for a long, long time
0:14:26 > 0:14:29and so we just need to get you used to doing it, so, walking lunges.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Every time you step, around, keep going around and around,
0:14:33 > 0:14:35keep stepping.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37That's it, not too bad.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I find it hard to balance, actually.
0:14:39 > 0:14:44- That's normal because you're trying to balance a...- A big body?- Yes.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Just say it, say what you see.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48THEY LAUGH
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Seven miles away, Bob has already been given his food plan.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54That is a mango.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56He must eat from all the main food groups
0:14:56 > 0:15:01and today he has opted to cook a healthy cod and mango fajita.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04"Stir-fry, steam... Serving suggestions..."
0:15:04 > 0:15:07But he is looking at the ingredients with a degree of suspicion.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I don't think you have to wash coriander.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11He has never cooked since being with Jane
0:15:11 > 0:15:14and today he's asked his daughter Charlie to be chief taster.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I'll just put them round, then spread this about...
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, dear!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22The point of his food programme is to reduce Bob's daily calorie intake
0:15:22 > 0:15:26from around 3,000 to around 1,900 a day.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28OK, tuck in, then.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31It's a new experience for Bob, but will he be able to keep it up?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Well done!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37That tastes all right, that tastes fine.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46At the end of the first week, I've come to pay Jane a visit.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Hello!- Hello! - How are you?- I'm all right.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53'Now that she is on her own, I have the opportunity to begin to tackle
0:15:53 > 0:15:54'her individual issues
0:15:54 > 0:15:57'that are affecting her relationship with Bob.'
0:15:57 > 0:16:02What is the stuff that you feel really needs to be addressed here?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- What is...?- Me. I've no self-worth, my...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08The way I look at myself,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I just don't like the person I am.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14So every time I've tried to lose weight, thinking,
0:16:14 > 0:16:16"Oh, yes, I'll lose weight, I'll feel better,"
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I've felt the same being a size 10 as an 18.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- Because the belief is still there. - Because it's still in here.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Yeah, you still don't like yourself. - Because I don't like me.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Yeah, doesn't matter whether you're 20 stone or 10 stone,
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- it doesn't really matter. - It doesn't affect how I am in here.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Right, OK.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Well, the challenge we've got, though, is -
0:16:35 > 0:16:37you're not happy with the way you look
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- and you're not happy with your health.- Yeah.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41It then makes you needy in your relationships
0:16:41 > 0:16:44and angry when you feel those needs aren't being met,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46and it makes you close your life down
0:16:46 > 0:16:49and probably self-medicate with alcohol.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52When I'm feeling really needy and someone doesn't give me
0:16:52 > 0:16:56the right answers, or that I seem to love them
0:16:56 > 0:16:59more than they love me because they're not...
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I feel they're not giving me what I want...
0:17:03 > 0:17:05..then it becomes a vicious circle
0:17:05 > 0:17:08and I drink to try and block it out
0:17:08 > 0:17:11- so I don't have to think about it. - That's right.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15I think you were frightened by the liver results.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19I'm basically killing myself, so I thought, right, that's it,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21so I haven't touched a drop of alcohol.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23You haven't had a drink?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I have not had one drop of alcohol.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I haven't touched it, Tanya, I haven't touched it!
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- And you've not had a craving? - Not at all, no! Not even a craving!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Not a craving.- Explain that to me.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Because he's not here and we're not having that...
0:17:36 > 0:17:40bit of bickering on and feeling, "Oh, I'm going to have a drink now."
0:17:40 > 0:17:44You know, just to get by, and I think that's what it is.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48I really feel for Jane, she has suffered from low self-esteem
0:17:48 > 0:17:50that she has kept buried for years.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53It's great that she is starting to manage her drinking,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55but now she needs to take time
0:17:55 > 0:17:57to focus on herself so that we can start to understand
0:17:57 > 0:18:01what's behind her anger, before she gets back with Bob.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05It's the second week...
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- Two slices of toast will be sufficient.- ..and Bob is sticking
0:18:09 > 0:18:11to his food plan and eating healthily.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Look at that, children, look! That's Grandad's breakfast!
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Doesn't that look lovely? I could have bacon with this,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20but Charlie didn't get up early enough to cook it for me.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22You're going to be fending for yourself now, Dad.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It's no good going silly!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27But if he's going to see a physical change,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Rick needs to get him exercising too.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33You are frustrated that you don't have
0:18:33 > 0:18:35the get-up-and-go that you wanted to.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38And I want to give you that back, but I want you to fight for that.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Rick wants to push him to do high-intensity interval training,
0:18:43 > 0:18:48alternating 30 seconds of tough exercise with 15 seconds rest.
0:18:48 > 0:18:4915-second break!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51These short bursts will help Bob
0:18:51 > 0:18:54burn more calories than doing easier exercise for longer.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56It's gone 45 seconds!
0:18:56 > 0:18:59During each ten-minute session, he could burn more calories
0:18:59 > 0:19:01than half-an-hour's workout on a treadmill.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Keep going, keep going, keep going.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06Rick's routine takes account of Bob's footballing past.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Bob used to be an athlete and he built up a really good
0:19:09 > 0:19:11foundation of muscle, so, as a result, what I'm doing,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15by trying to use the entire body, use his body as the machine,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18as the central weight itself, is burn as many calories as possible,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21stimulating his body to its full potential.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Go on, Dad, go on!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24From now on, Bob must to do
0:19:24 > 0:19:27at least ten minutes' hard training six times a week.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29And one, relax. Nice work.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- PANTING:- Whose stupid idea was this? - THEY LAUGH
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Rick also has a plan for Jane. His tests revealed that
0:19:36 > 0:19:39her excessive drinking had damaged her liver.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Regular exercise enhances the oxygen-carrying capability
0:19:43 > 0:19:46of the blood, and the more oxygen Jane has in her blood,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48the more of it will be delivered to her liver,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51which in turn will help it to function better.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54We're going to get you to do a walk-to-run programme, and
0:19:54 > 0:19:57that means you'll walk for a certain distance, run for a short distance,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00walk for a certain distance, run for a short distance.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- So, walking first? - We're going to be walking first.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Start at the same time.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06But Jane hasn't exercised in decades.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09I want you to just let your arms swing like pendulums.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10- Right.- Nice and relaxed.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13'She hasn't done any exercise, any sports, since she was
0:20:13 > 0:20:14'last at school, so the key thing,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17'if you think you want to start running and doing exercise,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19'is to do what's called a walk-to-run programme.'
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Nice, relaxed jog. Don't keep your shoulders up.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24The hope is Jane's fitness plan
0:20:24 > 0:20:27will gradually evolve into more running than walking.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Keep going, keep going, keep going.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Time. Just walk.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- All right? - SHE PANTS:- I can't do it.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- You can do it.- Jane, no can't. - I'm trying!
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- Time, let's go, let's go.- Bet you didn't think you'd get this far!
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Doing this two or three times a week for around 20 minutes can
0:20:42 > 0:20:46help her burn calories and improve other health markers,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48like cholesterol levels and blood pressure.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Jog, jog, jog, jog, jog! This isn't a walk!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Rick's aim is to get Jane from just walking
0:20:53 > 0:20:57to running 5km in just eight weeks.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Give me everything you've got. Everything! Everything!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I said, everything!
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Time! Your time.- Ah! Ah!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- I'm going to hit you in a minute. - You jogged 20 times!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09It's like The Apprentice - you're fired!
0:21:09 > 0:21:11LAUGHTER
0:21:12 > 0:21:18Oh, my Go...! It's not for me - exercise, running - not for me.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20I couldn't... I couldn't breathe!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21I thought I was going to die.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24My heart was pounding out of my chest
0:21:24 > 0:21:27and they kept saying, "Come on, come on!"
0:21:27 > 0:21:30And I was thinking, "Will you just go away and leave me alone?!"
0:21:30 > 0:21:34God! I was so up for it and I thought, "Oh, yeah, I can do it!"
0:21:34 > 0:21:36and I didn't realise how unhealthy I was!
0:21:36 > 0:21:41And I'm just absolutely shattered, so I'm going to bed.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42SWITCH CLICKS
0:21:43 > 0:21:46After three weeks, Bob is still sticking to the regime
0:21:46 > 0:21:48and enjoying living
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- with his grandchildren and daughter. - Can I get a cuddle? Come in!
0:21:52 > 0:21:54HE LAUGHS
0:21:54 > 0:21:55- Hello! - CHILD GIGGLES
0:21:55 > 0:21:58But the separation is proving tougher for Jane
0:21:58 > 0:22:00back in the family home.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04I finish work, come home and that's it. I don't see anybody.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07No-one to talk to, no-one to get up
0:22:07 > 0:22:11and say good morning or to do anything on the weekend with.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15You feel really sad, cos you feel you're on your own.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- PHONE ALERT - Oh, God's sake.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Jane's texted me. She's stuck by herself and I think she thinks
0:22:29 > 0:22:32cos I've got the grandkids, I'm enjoying myself
0:22:32 > 0:22:34and having a great time and going out for meals etc, etc,
0:22:34 > 0:22:37and so I'm not kind of suffering like she's suffering.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39The thing is, if I don't reply, it'll be,
0:22:39 > 0:22:41"Well, you don't care about me.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44"What are you doing? You're out enjoying yourself..."
0:22:44 > 0:22:47So I have to reply just to try and put her mind at rest
0:22:47 > 0:22:51and then it kind of builds up into a conversation which, you know,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54it defeats the object of why we're doing all this in the first place.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58"But you don't understand how lonely I am by myself.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00"You seem to be coping a lot easier without me
0:23:00 > 0:23:02"than I'm coping without you.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05"You just enjoy yourself and don't worry about me."
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Now, I mean, what can I... What am I meant to say to that?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I am concerned that Jane is struggling to cope without Bob
0:23:14 > 0:23:17but it's only by being on her own that she has the space
0:23:17 > 0:23:21and the time to make any real changes in their relationship.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23I know I shouldn't be doing it but I just...
0:23:23 > 0:23:27I don't know... I just don't know. I just...
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Sometimes I feel really lonely.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Right, I think what we know is that Bob is the place
0:23:33 > 0:23:35- where you put your bad feelings. - Yes.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38And I know that some of the texts have been...
0:23:38 > 0:23:42You been angry with him, and it's like Bob's the enemy.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46SHE SOBS Oh, sweetheart.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50This is the bit you and I need to work on together.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52This is why I'm here, Jane.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55A lot of people do exactly what you do. It's normal.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58But it's very destructive if we then just push it all out
0:23:58 > 0:24:00onto someone else so that someone close to us
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- becomes our emotional punch bag. - Yes.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06'There's a lot of anger there in Jane.'
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Issues that probably aren't related to Bob
0:24:09 > 0:24:12but she then in a way pushes on to him
0:24:12 > 0:24:15unresolved issues from the past.
0:24:15 > 0:24:1811 years ago Jane moved to Surrey from her home in the
0:24:18 > 0:24:20northeast to be with Bob.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23She brought with her her nine-year-old daughter Allena
0:24:23 > 0:24:25from a previous relationship.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29And she absolutely hated it, and I was in such a dilemma.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Do I move back?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Do I let her go back? Do I make her stay?
0:24:34 > 0:24:39But soon after, Allena chose to move back and live with her father.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I miss her. Terribly. Yeah, I do.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46And I feel that I've let her down.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Now that Jane has begun to think about her daughter Allena,
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I hope that we can begin to understand
0:24:54 > 0:24:58what effect this may have had on her relationship with Bob.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I've never been able to cope with the guilt I feel
0:25:01 > 0:25:08because I felt that I... put a man before her.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I didn't think about her feelings.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I just thought, yeah, she'll move here, everything will be fine.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19And it wasn't. And she wanted to move back.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Is this an issue that comes up in your relationship with Bob?
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Every time we have an argument -
0:25:24 > 0:25:27well, 99.9% - I throw that in his face.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30"I left everything for you. I left my daughter."
0:25:30 > 0:25:35So is the issue with Allena, is this discussion something also about
0:25:35 > 0:25:38you managing some of this guilt and having a conversation with her?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I do need to do that. I need to address.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43I need to get it off my shoulders.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44I don't want to put her in a situation
0:25:44 > 0:25:46that she doesn't want to be in
0:25:46 > 0:25:49but do you think she would perhaps meet you and me
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- so we could do this together? - Yes, I would really like that.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56It's something that I need to do.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00'I am concerned that if we don't get Jane to confront the guilt
0:26:00 > 0:26:03'she has for leaving her daughter, when she gets back together
0:26:03 > 0:26:06'with Bob, she will continue to blame him.'
0:26:08 > 0:26:12It's the beginning of the fourth week, and after her initial
0:26:12 > 0:26:16loneliness, Jane is discovering the joys of eating healthily.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20That's the first time I've ever had blueberries. This is exotic!
0:26:20 > 0:26:24That's a whole taste sensation for me, cos I've never had it before!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Right, Robert, guess what you're having for breakfast
0:26:27 > 0:26:28when you come back?
0:26:28 > 0:26:32For Bob, a major challenge is to cut back on binge drinking
0:26:32 > 0:26:34that has contributed to his weight gain.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I've asked behaviour specialist Paul Dolan to see if he can try
0:26:37 > 0:26:39and change this habit of a lifetime.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Bob.- Hello, Paul. - Hello, mate. How are you?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- Good, how are you? - Yeah, fine, thank you.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47He hasn't been drinking much whilst living at his daughter Charlie's,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50but today, he is faced with a dilemma.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55He's been invited to the pub by his mates.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01Two turns into anything from five to 15.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03- 15?- Yeah.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Drinking quantities like that means that any exercise Bob does
0:27:08 > 0:27:12afterwards will have little effect, as his body will burn off the
0:27:12 > 0:27:15alcohol first before it can tackle those all-important calories
0:27:15 > 0:27:17he needs to lose weight.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19I don't want to stop you drinking
0:27:19 > 0:27:22but I'd like to give you some control over drinking,
0:27:22 > 0:27:26so that you can go out for a couple of pints and just make it
0:27:26 > 0:27:29more likely for you to stop there, if that's what you want to do.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- I've never done it. - One of the things we can do
0:27:32 > 0:27:35before you go is think how much you intend to drink that night
0:27:35 > 0:27:40- and just take out only enough money for that number of pints.- Right.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45For men, drinking anything more than three pints of strong beer
0:27:45 > 0:27:49or seven units of alcohol in one night is considered a binge.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52The key to sticking to a limit is to make it hard to break.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Only take out enough money for a couple of drinks.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57You're going to take out a tenner.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00If I only had a tenner, I wouldn't bother going out!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02I need to have probably £100 in my pocket.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03So there's no point in going out
0:28:03 > 0:28:06and having a couple of pints with your mates?
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Couple of pints, tenner?
0:28:07 > 0:28:11Well, yeah, probably, but it's something I've never done before.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16What the hell can I do with that over a pub?
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Bob needs to make a public commitment at the outset
0:28:19 > 0:28:21and not drink in rounds.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23The situation's this. I've got a tenner.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26That's all I've come out with - a tenner.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30THEY LAUGH
0:28:32 > 0:28:34- They don't look convinced. - No! Not convinced.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37What we're trying to do here is find ways in which Bob
0:28:37 > 0:28:41can have choice over whether two pints turn into 15.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Right? So that he can sometimes come out. Do you think he can do it?
0:28:45 > 0:28:46- Truthfully?- No.- Truthfully.
0:28:46 > 0:28:51Once he's in the environment, with us lot, he's in that environment.
0:28:51 > 0:28:56- Yeah.- Bob, are you staying out? How many are you going to have?
0:28:56 > 0:28:59I'm going to finish this and then I'm going home.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01- THEY CLAP - All right.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Bob, we're going to shoot.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06See you later, guys.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12Despite Paul's advice, Bob gives in to peer pressure and chooses
0:29:12 > 0:29:14to stay in the pub.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Can I have a Stella in there, please?
0:29:20 > 0:29:23It's not clicking in there, it's not registering
0:29:23 > 0:29:25that this is a life-changing thing rather than temporary.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27Bob's still in the pub.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31He's been given these tips on a night when we're here.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34What's going to happen when we're gone?
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Drinking six pints means
0:29:36 > 0:29:39he's consuming over 1,000 calories in alcohol alone.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42I've stayed out. That's my problem.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43I don't do social drinking.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46I don't want to go in the pub and have one or two pints.
0:29:46 > 0:29:47I'd rather not go out.
0:29:55 > 0:30:00It's the end of the fourth week, and Bob's motivation is waning...
0:30:00 > 0:30:04I don't feel at the moment that I've got anywhere
0:30:04 > 0:30:07and I feel like these experts are kind of taking my pleasure
0:30:07 > 0:30:11away from me and giving me kind of tasks and things to do
0:30:11 > 0:30:14that I'm not actually comfortable with at the moment.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17Where are we actually going with all this?
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Although he's sticking to the food plan,
0:30:19 > 0:30:22daughter Charlie is doing all the work.
0:30:22 > 0:30:27I cook his dinner every night... to what he orders.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31He needs to kind of realise that he's not going to help himself
0:30:31 > 0:30:34unless he starts doing all these things.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36It's not going to change unless he starts realising
0:30:36 > 0:30:40what he actually needs to do to make it change and, at the moment,
0:30:40 > 0:30:44obviously, with me cooking and doing his washing and washing up
0:30:44 > 0:30:48after him, he's not changing. He hasn't changed at the moment,
0:30:48 > 0:30:53and I think he needs to have a bit of a reality check.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57- Is that it?- Yeah, that's it. - Seriously? Is that my portion?
0:30:57 > 0:30:59That's your portion for today.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01Blimey, I'm going to have to savour this!
0:31:01 > 0:31:05I feel I need to have a catch-up with Bob,
0:31:05 > 0:31:08and today, I've asked Charlie to join me so that, together, we can
0:31:08 > 0:31:11try to rekindle Bob's motivation.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14I don't feel, to be perfectly honest, I've learnt anything.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17You know, this is about losing weight and getting fit and healthy.
0:31:17 > 0:31:18It's really not.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22- This is about changing a mind-set, I think, with you, Bob.- Right.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24I think this will fail for you.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26- Yeah.- And I'm actually really quite worried about that.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- You need to start becoming a grown-up, I think.- Do you?
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Yeah, instead of a boy that sits down
0:31:31 > 0:31:34- and let's everyone do things for you.- Are you worried about him?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37I am. I've got two kids, he's got two grandkids.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40What's your worse case? SHE SOBS
0:31:40 > 0:31:43I don't want to be left with no-one, because me and Dad are so close.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Oh, don't, darling. You'll make me cry!
0:31:47 > 0:31:50I don't want to be left not being able to turn to Dad,
0:31:50 > 0:31:54cos Dad's been my support. Whenever anything...
0:31:54 > 0:31:58I need anything, I'd... Wouldn't I? I'd ring you up all the time.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00"Dad, I need help with this. Dad, what shall I do with this?"
0:32:00 > 0:32:03And if he carries on drinking...
0:32:03 > 0:32:05So you're actually worried your dad's going to die young?
0:32:05 > 0:32:09It's not normal to... to drink that much.
0:32:09 > 0:32:10I know it's not. I know it's not.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13And to eat the way they do, and their lifestyle,
0:32:13 > 0:32:17and the thought of not being able to...
0:32:17 > 0:32:21You know, the thought of Dad ending up dead...
0:32:21 > 0:32:24What has to happen? Your daughter has just...
0:32:24 > 0:32:27She's a strong woman, right, she's a mother of two kids,
0:32:27 > 0:32:31she's smart, she's just absolutely broken into tears.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35What has to happen? What has to be said? What has to be done?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37I'll do my best, all right? I'll do my best.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40I know I've got to change, and I'll do my best.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I've got another five weeks, haven't I?
0:32:42 > 0:32:46But I can't promise that I'm going to change at the end of it.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49That was a really interesting chat.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53I'm not sure, though, I'm that clear, even now,
0:32:53 > 0:32:55what he wants out of the process.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57He has his own issues.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00I'm not sure he's kind of engaged with that thinking,
0:33:00 > 0:33:03and that makes me a bit concerned moving forward,
0:33:03 > 0:33:06because during the separation, this is all about him,
0:33:06 > 0:33:09but I don't think he's worked that out yet.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15It's halfway through their separation,
0:33:15 > 0:33:18and while Bob is struggling to commit to the process,
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Jane's confidence is building.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24A couple of weeks ago, I would have been out of breath.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26As you can see, I can actually talk...
0:33:26 > 0:33:28and walk at the same time.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Couldn't do that two weeks ago.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Jane's walk home from work is three miles.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Hurry up - you're lagging behind!
0:33:35 > 0:33:39And she's still not had a drink since the separation began.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I could be sitting in there having a nice chilled glass of white wine.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45But every time I see somebody drinking now, I think,
0:33:45 > 0:33:48"You're ruining your liver, you're ruining your liver."
0:33:48 > 0:33:50SHE LAUGHS
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Studies show that when people who drink regularly
0:33:53 > 0:33:58abstain for five weeks, liver fat can be reduced by 15%.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01A lot of people expect me to fail,
0:34:01 > 0:34:04because they've known I've been a big drinker,
0:34:04 > 0:34:07they've known I don't like exercise.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10Before, I probably would have gone, "Yeah, they're right."
0:34:10 > 0:34:13Seems a bit daunting when you've never exercised
0:34:13 > 0:34:16and they go, "Oh, we really want to see you do a 5k run."
0:34:16 > 0:34:21But I didn't think a few weeks ago I'd be doing this, and I'm doing it!
0:34:21 > 0:34:22I'm home!
0:34:22 > 0:34:25And now Jane is about to step on a set of scales
0:34:25 > 0:34:27for the first time in five weeks.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29Right, I'm going to get weighed now.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31I've really stuck to it,
0:34:31 > 0:34:35so if I haven't lost anything, I'm really going to be devastated.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39I've lost 11 pounds! Oh, my God.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42SHE LAUGHS
0:34:42 > 0:34:45I can't even have a drink to celebrate!
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Yes! Oh, I love you, I love you. Mwah!
0:34:52 > 0:34:53Yay!
0:34:55 > 0:34:5711 pounds!
0:34:57 > 0:35:00Jane may have something to celebrate, but Bob may need to dig
0:35:00 > 0:35:03a little deeper if he's going to get results
0:35:03 > 0:35:04before he gets back with Jane.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07So I've asked him to revisit a place
0:35:07 > 0:35:09where he felt healthier and happier -
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Camberley Town Football Club.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15I was the first player to ever sign a professional contract,
0:35:15 > 0:35:17I think it was for about £8 a week.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20This is all new.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24We never used to get bottles thrown on us in 1970.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Pitch looks nice. Pitch looks lovely.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Hasn't changed at all, though.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34I was about here when I scored my first goal.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36It must have been within two minutes.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39Our left back put a ball over the top,
0:35:39 > 0:35:42come in, lobbed the keeper.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44CROWD NOISE
0:35:44 > 0:35:45And the funny thing was,
0:35:45 > 0:35:48my mum used to come and watch me every single week.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50My mum would never miss a week's football.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53And she walked through there about three minutes past three -
0:35:53 > 0:35:55she missed my first goal.
0:35:57 > 0:36:02My mum would turn up to football in her slippers in six inches of snow.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10It brings back a lot of lovely memories to me.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12But they're also kind of sad.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Bob's mum died three years ago.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17If I went home now, and my mum was still alive, and I went home now
0:36:17 > 0:36:20and told her where I've been, her face would beam.
0:36:20 > 0:36:21She'd love it.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24And she'd probably say, "Good, really good.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26"That's what you needed,
0:36:26 > 0:36:29"instead of sitting in front of that telly, drinking.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31"Get yourself out and about."
0:36:35 > 0:36:37But if Bob is going to turn things around,
0:36:37 > 0:36:39he may need a little more assistance,
0:36:39 > 0:36:42so I've asked Rick to pay him a visit.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46- Hello, Rick.- How are you?
0:36:46 > 0:36:49- Am I glad to see you! How are you?- Not too bad.- Good.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52Let's sort things out, let's see how we're going.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Rick's demands for a six-day-a-week exercise programme
0:36:54 > 0:36:56appear to have fallen by the wayside,
0:36:56 > 0:37:00so to reinvigorate him, he's given Bob some extra routines.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02It's a simple, logical routine.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04Works the front, works the back,
0:37:04 > 0:37:06works the top, works the bottom, OK?
0:37:06 > 0:37:08We're going to work the front first.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Yeah. Ohh!
0:37:10 > 0:37:12So, you're here.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15Your feet are together, knees are together, hands beside your head.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18I want a deep breath in, and a crunch up out.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21'It's frustrating to see Bob in the state that he's in,'
0:37:21 > 0:37:24because he has this incredible food plan laid out for him,
0:37:24 > 0:37:27and I feel like he's one of those athletes
0:37:27 > 0:37:29that has all the talent,
0:37:29 > 0:37:32but just doesn't take it forward, doesn't progress.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35And I think Bob is wasting the opportunity he's got here.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Squeeze your shoulder blades whilst bringing your legs off the floor.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39Feel the pinch there and there.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41'This isn't just about losing weight.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43'It's about losing the right sort of weight.'
0:37:43 > 0:37:48This programme is designed to lose fat weight and fat weight only.
0:37:48 > 0:37:50I want you to do a nice deep squat, like so.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53'If you lose muscle tissue, you become weaker,'
0:37:53 > 0:37:55and you'll gain more weight in the end.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59If you lose water, you'll also dehydrate and become weaker,
0:37:59 > 0:38:01you become more lethargic,
0:38:01 > 0:38:03you'll also put on more weight in the end.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Perfect. Relax there.
0:38:06 > 0:38:10A lot of research has gone into putting this programme together
0:38:10 > 0:38:13and helping you with this food plan and the exercise combined.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16The whole point about separating you
0:38:16 > 0:38:19was that you wanted to change not just the way you eat
0:38:19 > 0:38:22but the way you exercise, the way you feel about yourself.
0:38:22 > 0:38:27It's about you, as an individual, growing as an individual,
0:38:27 > 0:38:30and coming back to your relationship having grown.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35What this was all about was you and Jane.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37It was about nothing else.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43Kind of hit home a bit, you know?
0:38:43 > 0:38:47- Got some thinking to do.- Yeah. Yeah, big-time- All right, cool.
0:38:51 > 0:38:52That's what this was about.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:39:00 > 0:39:05A lot of it with me is getting my fat arse off the sofa and doing it
0:39:05 > 0:39:08rather than sitting there, thinking, "Oh, I don't want to do it."
0:39:08 > 0:39:10You know, it's only a half-hour.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12I could fit a half-hour in any day, no problem.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14It is only half an hour.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17I've got to get over that mind-set. I've just got to do it.
0:39:17 > 0:39:21I've got to make it part of my daily routine, that I've got to do it.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27Now that his exercise programme is back on track,
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Bob attempts to make a healthy meal for himself
0:39:30 > 0:39:33without the help of daughter Charlie.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35This is so confusing.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37I've never cooked butternut squash before.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40I don't know whether you're meant to take the skin off.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42We're nearly six, seven minutes in
0:39:42 > 0:39:45and I'm just still messing around on butternut squash.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48Although Bob is now doing well, Charlie still fears
0:39:48 > 0:39:52that he hasn't dealt with his mum's death three years ago.
0:39:52 > 0:39:56When it comes to talking about Nan and how he's felt since Nan died,
0:39:56 > 0:39:58it chokes him.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01He doesn't really like to show his emotions that much.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03He's still not properly grieved for her yet, I don't think.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05I love that picture.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08I think deep down, it still really, really hurts him,
0:40:08 > 0:40:11but just trying to put a front on,
0:40:11 > 0:40:14and maybe the alcohol and food just kind of covers that up
0:40:14 > 0:40:17and stops people from asking him about it.
0:40:17 > 0:40:21It's all learning. This is a big learning process for me.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23I'm so pleased for Bob.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26He's finally embracing the process and making changes.
0:40:26 > 0:40:27Voila!
0:40:27 > 0:40:29But I feel that if they're going to last,
0:40:29 > 0:40:33he needs to be able to express his grief freely and mourn for his mum.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38So, today, I've asked Bob, Charlie, and her brother Jamie
0:40:38 > 0:40:40to take me to her grave.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Jamie and Charlie are saying
0:40:42 > 0:40:45they think that you haven't mourned properly, grieved properly.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48My mum was the kind of bond that held us all together,
0:40:48 > 0:40:49the whole family together.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53I think when Nan died, you kind of turned to alcohol
0:40:53 > 0:40:56cos you had no-one to turn to. Nan was the one that you spoke to
0:40:56 > 0:41:00and Nan was the one that listened to all your troubles.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03And the only way you can kind of relieve, like,
0:41:03 > 0:41:05the hurt and the stress that you're going through
0:41:05 > 0:41:06is just by getting drunk
0:41:06 > 0:41:09and just thinking you're going to forget about it for that night.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I expect many times I'd had an argument with Jane,
0:41:12 > 0:41:15rather than just getting a couple of bottles of wine and blocking it out,
0:41:15 > 0:41:16I would have gone to my mum.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19So alcohol did replace your mum, then?
0:41:19 > 0:41:22- TEARFULLY:- I've kind of lost the one person that...
0:41:22 > 0:41:25She was always there for you.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30You lose something in you when your mum dies.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32But you do have a partner,
0:41:32 > 0:41:34so if the work we're doing with both you and Jane
0:41:34 > 0:41:37and then how we support you coming together
0:41:37 > 0:41:38has the right kind of outcome,
0:41:38 > 0:41:40that can be your relationship with Jane
0:41:40 > 0:41:43- in a way that it hasn't been before. - Yeah.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46Yeah, we could be good for each other through this, I think.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48For both of our bad demons,
0:41:48 > 0:41:52I think we could also do a lot of help for each other.
0:41:52 > 0:41:53I didn't expect that.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56Alcohol has filled so many different roles for him,
0:41:56 > 0:41:58and I think maybe this will now help Bob understand
0:41:58 > 0:42:01that it's not just about changing behaviour,
0:42:01 > 0:42:02it's understanding
0:42:02 > 0:42:05what the behaviour was there for in the first place.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Once you get that and you find other ways,
0:42:08 > 0:42:12as Bob said, to fill the void, then you've got a really good chance
0:42:12 > 0:42:15of sustaining healthy behaviour change.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20With two weeks to go,
0:42:20 > 0:42:23I still want to get to the root of Jane's misdirected anger with Bob
0:42:23 > 0:42:26before they're reunited.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28So I've asked her daughter Allena to meet us
0:42:28 > 0:42:31in the hope that I can get Jane to have a conversation
0:42:31 > 0:42:35she's been avoiding for the past 11 years.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37- Hello! Hiya, darling.- Hi, Mum.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41- You all right?- Yeah. - Hello, I'm Tanya. Nice to meet you.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45You were such an outgoing little girl,
0:42:45 > 0:42:46I thought if we moved,
0:42:46 > 0:42:49you'd just take the transition really easily.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52So I never thought, what if you didn't?
0:42:52 > 0:42:55I was happy in the north-east, I was happy at home.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57- I wasn't happy in the south at that point.- Right.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01When you weren't happy, in my eyes, I should have come back with you.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05- I felt like I'd abandoned you. - I don't hold anything against you.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07And I don't think you did anything wrong.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10You did something for you, and you're better off for it.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12You wouldn't have been happy at home,
0:43:12 > 0:43:14so I don't blame you for leaving.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16You're kind of saying, "It's OK with me,
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- "I can see the positive side it." - Yeah.
0:43:18 > 0:43:22It's clear, isn't it, that your mum's got a lot of issue about it?
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Guilt, guilt, guilt, the alcohol.
0:43:24 > 0:43:26That's what pushed me away - the drink.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28The drink pushed you away.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30I wasn't with you cos you were drinking.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33The one thing that you have used as your biggest weapon
0:43:33 > 0:43:37in your arguments with Bob, which has then led you both
0:43:37 > 0:43:40to spend pretty much every evening in separate rooms,
0:43:40 > 0:43:42drinking and drinking and drinking,
0:43:42 > 0:43:47- has been the fact that you're not with your daughter.- Yeah.
0:43:47 > 0:43:52But, actually, I think what you're saying, Allena, is...
0:43:52 > 0:43:54- that's not relevant.- It's not.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56You were a lovely mum and you did everything for me.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58It's just shown you had an issue with alcohol,
0:43:58 > 0:44:01and that isn't to do with my issues with you moving here.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04That's my issue with you. You weren't a nice person drunk.
0:44:04 > 0:44:05Yeah.
0:44:05 > 0:44:09So are you going to listen to your daughter,
0:44:09 > 0:44:11who is saying to you really clearly,
0:44:11 > 0:44:16"Mum, I'm not angry with you about you living with Bob"?
0:44:17 > 0:44:19Because if you do listen to that and accept it
0:44:19 > 0:44:22then that's not something that you can use
0:44:22 > 0:44:24in your relationship with Bob any more.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26- It WAS your choice. - It WAS my choice.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Are you going to live with that choice
0:44:28 > 0:44:31and move on in the way that your daughter's asking you to?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Yeah, it was my decision.
0:44:33 > 0:44:39And I feel really, really remorseful for what I've done.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41I do love you.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48I think today has been a huge... huge breakthrough for Jane.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51Emotionally, it's put her in a very different place.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54She's had a really frank conversation,
0:44:54 > 0:44:56and I think it's going to shift her away
0:44:56 > 0:44:58from the blame that she places on Bob.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01That's going to improve their relationship,
0:45:01 > 0:45:03and that is what was my goal
0:45:03 > 0:45:06in terms of enabling them to sustain and move forward
0:45:06 > 0:45:10with their health and their fitness and their weight loss.
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Now that she has begun to re-build her relationship
0:45:14 > 0:45:17with daughter Allena, Jane is on a high.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20And with the help of best friend Wendy, she's increased her running
0:45:20 > 0:45:23to 30 minutes in between short walks.
0:45:23 > 0:45:25She's put her absolute body and soul into this
0:45:25 > 0:45:27and I couldn't be more proud of her.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30She's changed in her mental attitude,
0:45:30 > 0:45:33in her...health-wise and exercise.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35It's absolutely brilliant.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38I wouldn't believe she's got to where she is, actually, today.
0:45:38 > 0:45:42The feeling you get after the exercise is amazing.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45It's such a high.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48This is just changing everything about me.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50It's completely changed my life.
0:45:54 > 0:45:55It's the final week
0:45:55 > 0:45:58and whilst Jane is away for a few days,
0:45:58 > 0:46:01Bob is back in his own garden, exercising.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03I'm trying to push myself a bit more.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06It's kind of getting into a routine of it now.
0:46:06 > 0:46:09He is playing catch-up but is keen to lose as much weight as he can
0:46:09 > 0:46:12to impress Jane when they're reunited.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16I do feel better afterwards, even though I'm knackered.
0:46:16 > 0:46:17New Bob.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24It's the day of Jane's 5km run
0:46:24 > 0:46:28and she's invited me and daughter Allena along for support.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30Here we go, girls.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38- No, you're not allowed to hold my hand.- Yes, she can.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Come on, keep up, Allena.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Bossy, Mum.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Come on, Mum, we can do it!
0:46:53 > 0:46:55It's all right, you'll do it.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58Don't collapse, though. Don't collapse.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00Oh, I do love you.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06SHE LAUGHS AND CHEERS
0:47:07 > 0:47:10'If someone had said to me, told me three months ago
0:47:10 > 0:47:14'that I would be doing this, I'd think they were absolutely crazy.'
0:47:14 > 0:47:15Yeah!
0:47:18 > 0:47:20Bet you never thought you'd see me do that, eh?
0:47:20 > 0:47:22No, I don't think I'd see you walk a mile
0:47:22 > 0:47:24let alone walk around three or four.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27So are you proud of me, then?
0:47:27 > 0:47:28Yeah.
0:47:28 > 0:47:29I'm a changed girl!
0:47:29 > 0:47:31Yeah.
0:47:31 > 0:47:32Getting there.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37Oh, God!
0:47:37 > 0:47:40The ten-week separation is coming to an end.
0:47:40 > 0:47:45Tomorrow, Bob and Jane will finally set eyes on each other again.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49I'm nervous to kind of see what she looks like, you know.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52Jane has never ever, ever, ever walked or exercised
0:47:52 > 0:47:56and I think she's done... Apparently she's been walking and exercising.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59She's like me, you see. She's very competitive.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01If I get back to her and she's lost a half a stone more than me,
0:48:01 > 0:48:03there'll be trouble.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06I was wondering what he'd think about the way I look and everything.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09And I used to be so worried about what he thought,
0:48:09 > 0:48:10more than what I did
0:48:10 > 0:48:14because I've never felt good about myself in such a long time.
0:48:14 > 0:48:19And I see this person and I feel so much better,
0:48:19 > 0:48:21so much more confident.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23It's all down to you.
0:48:26 > 0:48:28Hope she still fancies me.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31She might want another, younger model now.
0:48:31 > 0:48:32I'm really excited.
0:48:32 > 0:48:35I feel like I'm going to get married!
0:48:41 > 0:48:45Today's the day, and the nerves are mounting.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49I have waited for this day for ten weeks and now it's finally here.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51I'm really nervous about what he thinks I look like.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I hope he's lost weight.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56I'm hoping he's looking really good
0:48:56 > 0:48:59and just happy to see me.
0:48:59 > 0:49:02I have been on fantastic journey this last ten weeks.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05One of the hardest things was not being able to tell her
0:49:05 > 0:49:08the things I have done, and I have missed her.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15With Bob and Jane, it's been an amazing ten weeks.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17They've worked really hard and they've done really well,
0:49:17 > 0:49:21working on their own issues related to weight, diet and health.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Things like these don't happen to people like me and Jane.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27It's been a life-changing experience.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31But this is actually probably the most critical point,
0:49:31 > 0:49:33coming back together
0:49:33 > 0:49:36because it's how they now manage together as a couple again
0:49:36 > 0:49:38that will determine whether they can sustain this
0:49:38 > 0:49:40for their healthy future.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42The anticipation's killing me!
0:49:47 > 0:49:48To celebrate their reunion,
0:49:48 > 0:49:52I've invited along family and friends to surprise them.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56MUSIC: How You Like Me Now? by The Heavy
0:50:05 > 0:50:08CHEERING
0:50:19 > 0:50:21- Hello.- How are you? - You look amazing.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24Thank you. I feel great. Honestly, I feel good.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26You look amazing. Can you believe you have got here?
0:50:26 > 0:50:28I've had a couple of blips along the way, I'm not denying that,
0:50:28 > 0:50:30but that's my mates' fault.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32THEY LAUGH
0:50:33 > 0:50:35What was the lowest point?
0:50:35 > 0:50:37What was the toughest part of this for you?
0:50:37 > 0:50:39- I have missed Jane. - You have missed Jane.
0:50:39 > 0:50:40I have missed her, yes, I have missed her.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43You have missed Jane. I think you should meet her.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:17 > 0:51:20CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:51:24 > 0:51:26I missed you. I missed you!
0:51:26 > 0:51:29You don't look like you.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31You look amazing. You look lovely.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34You done brilliant. I'm really proud of you.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Really, really proud of you.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Hello.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45You look amazing. I love this hair.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50- Right so, welcome back to each other.- Thank you.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53What do you think, Bob? How does your lady look?
0:51:53 > 0:51:55She looks lovely, she looks stunning.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57She looked like Aphrodite coming down there.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Absolutely! Because when we met you, things were really not good,
0:52:00 > 0:52:05so now it's for Rick to tell you how he thinks you've done.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08Jane, ten weeks ago when we first met,
0:52:08 > 0:52:13I set for you a goal of one-and-a-half stone in ten weeks.
0:52:16 > 0:52:19You absolutely smashed it
0:52:19 > 0:52:22and lost two stone in those ten weeks.
0:52:22 > 0:52:24APPLAUSE
0:52:28 > 0:52:31When we first met and I did those tests on your liver,
0:52:31 > 0:52:34we found that your liver was quite distressed.
0:52:34 > 0:52:38The key thing with vital organs is they don't always repair
0:52:38 > 0:52:41and once they become damaged they can stay permanently so.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44I redid your liver tests
0:52:44 > 0:52:47and not only is your liver not distressed,
0:52:47 > 0:52:49it works perfectly.
0:53:00 > 0:53:04Bob, I said to you I wanted you to lose one-and-a-half stone.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07And you have lost...
0:53:08 > 0:53:12..just under three stone in ten weeks.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18I'd like you both now to have a think
0:53:18 > 0:53:21and very briefly make your pledge to each other now.
0:53:21 > 0:53:24My pledge to you, love, is I'm... I'm going to help you
0:53:24 > 0:53:26more around the house.
0:53:26 > 0:53:28I'm going to treat you better.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31And I'm going to look after you better.
0:53:31 > 0:53:35And my pledge to you is, I have changed.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37I wanted to get the girl back that I was that you met
0:53:37 > 0:53:42all them years ago because she got lost along the way.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45I don't need the drink any more.
0:53:45 > 0:53:46- MAN:- Good girl. Well done!
0:53:46 > 0:53:49And she's a stronger, fitter person.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52Good for you, love. Well done.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01The zest I have for life now is totally different.
0:54:01 > 0:54:05I used to think it was my age, that I was tired, I couldn't be bothered.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08It wasn't, it was an unhealthy lifestyle.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11We've gone from going nowhere to back in the fast lane.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Get off!
0:54:28 > 0:54:31Since being reunited, Bob and Jane are continuing
0:54:31 > 0:54:33to put in the hard work.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37Give us a piggy back?
0:54:37 > 0:54:38SHE LAUGHS
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Together, they are eating healthily
0:54:40 > 0:54:43and the 25 bottles of wine they drank a week
0:54:43 > 0:54:45are now a distant memory.
0:54:45 > 0:54:46- Look at this!- What?
0:54:46 > 0:54:50- This is what we've had in a weekend! - I know. It's good, isn't it?
0:54:50 > 0:54:53Even the refuse men are, like, bringing me flowers now
0:54:53 > 0:54:56because they don't have to load all them bottles up!
0:54:56 > 0:54:58I feel like we've got our life back again.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01And they're continuing to drop the weight.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04Jane has now lost a total of three stone.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08I needed to be away from him to get my confidence back.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10And Bob's down by three-and-a-half stone.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12I think I needed to miss Jane again.
0:55:12 > 0:55:16I wanted to get back to what it was like when we first met
0:55:16 > 0:55:18and the separation done that for me.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22But it's not all been plain sailing.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26They've had an argument after Bob went down to the pub.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28I'm on my way to see them
0:55:28 > 0:55:31because I'm curious to know how they dealt with it as a couple.
0:55:31 > 0:55:35I thought, "Oh, no, you're falling back into old ways,"
0:55:35 > 0:55:39- and I didn't like it.- Your words were "Well, you haven't changed."
0:55:39 > 0:55:41And then I said, "Mm, you haven't changed."
0:55:41 > 0:55:44But actually what you were doing was controlled drinking?
0:55:44 > 0:55:48It wasn't one, two, three, four, it was one and one only.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50- It hurt me.- Yeah, it did. - Because I have changed.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53What we did was we discussed it and rather than just...
0:55:53 > 0:55:56Just go into silent treatment, like we used to.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58Yeah. And I thought, y'know...
0:55:58 > 0:56:00And that's one of the worst things we used to do
0:56:00 > 0:56:02because when you go to silent treatment,
0:56:02 > 0:56:05things start building up and up and up and up and then...
0:56:05 > 0:56:09It sounds like your communication is better than it was.
0:56:09 > 0:56:11- Oh, leaps and bounds, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:56:11 > 0:56:16Instead of flying off the handle, I know that things well up in you
0:56:16 > 0:56:19- and, you know, there is times it's going to...- Yeah.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23But I just take a little step back and I think, "Hang on a minute.
0:56:23 > 0:56:25"I don't want to go back to the way we were."
0:56:25 > 0:56:28And that's what I keep focused in my head.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31It's going forward now. Can't change the past,
0:56:31 > 0:56:34but I can do something about the future.
0:56:34 > 0:56:35That's good. That makes me happy.
0:56:35 > 0:56:39That makes me feel you're really connecting back as a couple.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42This is the person I fell in love with 15 years ago
0:56:42 > 0:56:45and it's the person I've got back again.
0:56:45 > 0:56:48And it's the person I want to be with.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Yeah? Just walk.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54- Put some steps into it! - You know what?- What?
0:56:54 > 0:56:56- I love you.- Love you too.
0:56:56 > 0:56:57THEY KISS
0:57:09 > 0:57:12Next time, Steve and Lisa's unhealthy lifestyle...
0:57:12 > 0:57:13Let's hope we've got enough.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16..has left them with a tough choice.
0:57:16 > 0:57:18Life or death.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20- Children or no children.- Yeah.
0:57:20 > 0:57:23Will separating them for ten weeks...
0:57:23 > 0:57:26- Oh, my life! - ..help get them back on track?
0:57:26 > 0:57:27Seven, eight...
0:57:27 > 0:57:30Apparently, I'll start enjoying this soon.
0:57:30 > 0:57:31It feels like the ultimate failure.
0:57:31 > 0:57:34That's how I want you to train from this day forward.
0:57:34 > 0:57:37I'm not convinced that I can do it.