0:00:02 > 0:00:05Obesity in Britain has reached crisis level, but for many couples
0:00:05 > 0:00:07there's one thing that stops them from beating it - each other.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11You don't feel so bad, I think, if you've got a partner in crime.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Stuck in a rut of poor diets and overeating,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17it's threatening not only their health, but their relationships.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20You try to sabotage every time I try to lose weight.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22It's causing us to have the relationship break up,
0:00:22 > 0:00:23- which is what we don't want.- Yeah.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27I'm Professor Tanya Byron. I'm a clinical psychologist.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29I want to try something radical and new.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, my God!
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Four overweight couples have agreed to live apart.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37- We're going to do this, aren't we? - I love you.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Because I'm going to separate them.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Couples stuck in an unhealthy rut can be each other's worst enemies,
0:00:43 > 0:00:46so the theory is, dramatic change happens first
0:00:46 > 0:00:47when we separate the couple.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50I'm glad that he is a bit scared. I am.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Each week I'll work with one couple to try to get
0:00:54 > 0:00:56to the root of what's behind their overeating.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Only when they are away from each other
0:00:59 > 0:01:01can they start to tackle their demons.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03This is my worst nightmare, this.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05And through a health and fitness plan
0:01:05 > 0:01:07we'll try to change them for good...
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Let's go!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I've got big feet - this is a disadvantage.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13..and break their bad habits.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Broccoli.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16Will living apart from each other
0:01:16 > 0:01:21for ten weeks finally succeed when everything else has failed?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I've wanted to give up at least seven times a day every day.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26If it doesn't work and he's not changed,
0:01:26 > 0:01:29then me and Pete aren't going to work.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Lisa and Steve live in west London with their dog Branwell,
0:01:39 > 0:01:42right next to the church where Steve is a community minister
0:01:42 > 0:01:44and Lisa runs the children's groups.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Oops-a-daisy!
0:01:45 > 0:01:50They met at a church disco when they were just teenagers.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53I was 16 and Steve was a little bit older.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56We saw each other on the other side of the room.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- It was love at first sight, I think. - Aww, that's nice!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02But in the 17 years they have been together,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Steve has put on around 40 pounds and is now 16.5 stone,
0:02:06 > 0:02:10while Lisa has increased her weight to 22.5 stone.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14I want to beat it. I want to not let this be something that defines me.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17We're at the stage where we're like, OK,
0:02:17 > 0:02:18enough is enough.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21The problem is that life revolves around food.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25The quantity is our big downfall and big weakness.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29We are so used to overeating that that has become the new norm.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32And where better to overeat than at an all-you-can-eat buffet
0:02:32 > 0:02:35where they are regular visitors?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I think I'm the bad influence. It's normally me
0:02:37 > 0:02:39that goes, "Let's eat out rather than at home."
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Saves washing up for lunch. - LISA LAUGHS
0:02:41 > 0:02:44You feel you just want to try a bit of everything.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Bit like not wanting to miss out.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- And you certainly want to get your money's worth.- Yeah.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54Now Lisa's weight is getting in the way of her biggest desire.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I've lost my mum!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I would really like to have children.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02I love being around them and, yeah, I think I'm good with kids.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05"Oh, she's big," said the monkey.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07'I think Steve will be a brilliant dad.'
0:03:07 > 0:03:10This is our dressing-up corner.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14I think because I was adopted, that there is that nurturing
0:03:14 > 0:03:18and nesting sort of feeling that you want children of your own.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Ten years ago they came close.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I became pregnant and had a miscarriage.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28It just felt like the rug was pulled from under your feet.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Um...
0:03:30 > 0:03:32It is tremendously painful.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36But now at 22.5 stone, the notion of pregnancy
0:03:36 > 0:03:38is daunting for her.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40It wouldn't be healthy for me to be pregnant,
0:03:40 > 0:03:43so that's quite scary to think that we might have to go through
0:03:43 > 0:03:45that kind of pain again.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48A study has shown that obesity
0:03:48 > 0:03:51can increase the risk of miscarriage by around 65%.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53We want it to happen. I want it to happen,
0:03:53 > 0:03:57but to get down to a healthy weight feels kind of ginormous amount
0:03:57 > 0:04:01to kind of lose, so I don't know if I want to set myself up to fail.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04The fear of failing has caused them
0:04:04 > 0:04:07to turn to yet more food for comfort.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Let's hope we've got enough.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11But cakes are the last thing that Steve needs.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Along with 3.5 million others in the UK,
0:04:13 > 0:04:17his poor diet means he has developed Type 2 diabetes.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19When he was first diagnosed with diabetes,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21there was a lot of fear at that kind of time.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24He was quite seriously poorly
0:04:24 > 0:04:27and that was quite a scary kind of time.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30If he doesn't monitor his blood sugar closely,
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Steve is five times more likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37such as a stroke, than someone without diabetes.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41There are times when I just look at little old couples sitting on
0:04:41 > 0:04:45a bench and thinking that actually I would like that.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48That sort of knowing that at our size there is a big risk that
0:04:48 > 0:04:51that's not going to be us.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53We're not going to be 80-year-olds sitting on a park bench.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56But even knowing they may not grow old together
0:04:56 > 0:04:58doesn't seem enough to make them change.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01'You don't feel so bad, I think, if you've got a partner in crime.'
0:05:01 > 0:05:05I think that's part of what we are, partners in crime with each other.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Trapped in a cycle of overeating,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Steve and Lisa are taking the extraordinary step
0:05:11 > 0:05:14of separating for ten weeks.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19Something needs to change for us to get thinner and healthier.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21It's exciting.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- And scary.- Yeah.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Today, I'm meeting Steve and Lisa with my team
0:05:33 > 0:05:35for our first assessment.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37In relationships, however much we love each other
0:05:37 > 0:05:40we can be each other's worst enemy, in terms of our health,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43in terms of our lifestyle, in terms of our weight,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46and so separating couples can be very useful,
0:05:46 > 0:05:50because for the couple to function, what they need to do
0:05:50 > 0:05:52is first address these issues in themselves,
0:05:52 > 0:05:56then when they come back together, they work it out as a couple.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00It suddenly feels very real.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04This is kind of the moment of truth.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Helping me crack their embedded bad habits
0:06:10 > 0:06:12is behavioural scientist Professor Paul Dolan,
0:06:12 > 0:06:15and physiologist Rick Shakes-Braithwaite,
0:06:15 > 0:06:16who will give them a full medical
0:06:16 > 0:06:19to help him design a diet and fitness programme
0:06:19 > 0:06:24tailor-made for each of them to follow during the separation.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31That is your heart right there.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Steve and Lisa will soon find out the true state of their health.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- How are you with needles? - Not greatly fond of them.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42The real reason I want a blood test from you today is to look at your blood sugar level.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44High blood sugar in diabetics - hyperglycaemia -
0:06:44 > 0:06:48can lead to a diabetic coma which, left untreated, can be fatal.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Hold on to these conductors.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52We're not going to ever just check overall weight,
0:06:52 > 0:06:54were going to check to see what's changing.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Are you putting on more muscle tissue, are you losing body fat?
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Studies show that as a woman's body mass index increases,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04the chances that she will conceive decrease drastically.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I'm going to have a good time to look at that,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09then I'm going to tell you all the results, OK?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15We are so happy to have you. Thank you so much for doing this.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19I want to understand why you've got to this point in your lives.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I think we've known that we're overweight,
0:07:21 > 0:07:24but we haven't found the motivation
0:07:24 > 0:07:29or the thing that's needed to sort that out.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Something has to change now if we want to enjoy life for longer.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36OK, so we've got... we've got some results for you.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Lisa, you have far too much visceral, or active, fat.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Toxic fat. It surrounds your organs,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47It runs a very - not mildly, a VERY high-risk
0:07:47 > 0:07:51of developing diabetes, heart disease,
0:07:51 > 0:07:53stroke and even Alzheimer's.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Steve, your blood sugar levels were raised.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Normal figures are between four and seven.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Where do you think it came back at?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Um... I wouldn't be surprised
0:08:04 > 0:08:07if it was round about 17, 15-17 mark.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09OK, how about if it was 24?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12That is, yeah, higher than I was expecting.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14It's a lot higher.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- You were hospitalised with high blood sugar levels before.- Yes.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- What were the numbers when you were in hospital?- It was 30.
0:08:21 > 0:08:2430. You were put in hospital for figures that were
0:08:24 > 0:08:27just above the figures you're running at currently.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34How worried are you about your own health and about each other's?
0:08:34 > 0:08:38I worry what his sugars kind of are, but the interesting thing is,
0:08:38 > 0:08:42I obviously don't worry enough because I still feed him cake
0:08:42 > 0:08:44because, that's... I know, isn't that ridiculous?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- Your husband is diabetic, you worry about that...- Yeah.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49..but you'll bake him cake.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Um...
0:08:51 > 0:08:53It's that... It's...
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I don't know.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I want to find ways that show Steve
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- that I love him...- Yes.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02..but it's that realisation that some of them...
0:09:02 > 0:09:05That's quite ridiculous, isn't it, feeding cake to a diabetic?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07So it's that...
0:09:07 > 0:09:08It's just...
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Yeah, a ridiculous sort of love, in a way.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15It's love, it's YOUR love.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Here, I'm going to give you these.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20But also, remember, it's Steve's job,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22as a diabetic, to check his sugar levels and say,
0:09:22 > 0:09:24"No, I can't have the cake now."
0:09:24 > 0:09:27So don't blame yourself for all of it.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29You know, we don't really change anything
0:09:29 > 0:09:32unless we have real incentive to change.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34And you had that shock.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36And you did change whilst the shock was in place,
0:09:36 > 0:09:38but then you just fall back into the patterns of before,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42and we're going to explore some of these really engrained habits
0:09:42 > 0:09:45and start some new ones afresh.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48And how important is it for this to work?
0:09:48 > 0:09:52You don't see many people of our size at an older age.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56And we'd love to have a family and kind of time is ticking on that.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59We have to start that process now, we should've started it earlier.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Life or death. Children or no children.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Yeah.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09I don't want to look back in ten years' time, 20 years' time,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11and go, "I should've done something.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14"We didn't make changes that we could've done," and regret that.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16If we don't do something,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19we will get to the point where we look back and it's too late.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24OK, so we've got big goals and we've got a lot to work on,
0:10:24 > 0:10:27but I'm just going to give you some time to say goodbye to each other.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32Think about that, and then it's time to start our project together.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- (I love you. - I love you too.)
0:10:35 > 0:10:36- (I really love you.- Bye.)
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- (Gosh, what will we look like in ten weeks?- I know.)
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Lisa and Steve will not set eyes on each other for ten weeks,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47and to give them time to concentrate on themselves,
0:10:47 > 0:10:50I've asked them not to make any contact for the first two weeks.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53But I know it's not going to be easy.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I will miss her intently,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58and I think that will just intensify as the weeks go on.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02I kind of think I look after Steve too much.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Maybe you're a natural mum,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07and that's what you so want.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10I think I do it for lots of other people,
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- and lots of other people's kids. - Yeah.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18But...yeah, not our own kids.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22- So that's what we are going to work towards.- Yeah.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Lisa is a stickler for the rules, so she will stick to the rules.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29I... My natural reaction is to rebel.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32But will this reluctance to follow rules
0:11:32 > 0:11:34prevent Steve from really changing?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42While Steve stays at home,
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Lisa will live a few miles away in a friend's studio.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- So this is my home for the next... - SHE PANTS
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Excuse me while I catch my breath.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53..for the next ten weeks.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Strange...but good.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Before they separated, they each kept a food diary.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12And Rick is worried by the kinds of foods Steve is used to eating.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Steve's diet is absolutely shocking.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19There is way too much unhealthy fat in there,
0:12:19 > 0:12:22there's too much processed food and way too much sugar.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Rick suspects that Steve doesn't take responsibility
0:12:25 > 0:12:29for himself or his diabetes, and is on his way to see him.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Steve blames Lisa for this terrible diet,
0:12:32 > 0:12:34but is it really all her fault? I'm going to find out
0:12:34 > 0:12:38and look in the one place Steve can't hold Lisa responsible,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40and that's his car.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42DOORBELL
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Hey, Steve, how are you? - Hello, Rick.- Come in.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48So I've been told you tend to snack on sugary snacks
0:12:48 > 0:12:50in the car. Do you mind if we have a look in the car?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Yeah, that's fine.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57OK, some Transformers, a Kit Kat...
0:12:57 > 0:13:00I'm not even sure what was in there. I think it was a samosa.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Whatever it was, it's soaked through with oil.- Yeah.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06There is crisps again, Twiglets, a Cornish pasty...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- A Cornish pasty. - A packet of Haribo.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12A pork sausage roll. Nothing in glove compartments?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- No, nothing. - This is enough as it is.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Did you eat all that in one sitting?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Um, I can't remember. Probably.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21So you had a whole packet of Haribo in one sitting.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26The key thing is there, with the food diary, you're saying,
0:13:26 > 0:13:29"Oh, but Lisa has these in the house."
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Lisa didn't buy it.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34This was you unconsciously eating loads and loads of sugar.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37These sweets explain Steve's high blood sugar levels,
0:13:37 > 0:13:41and the food diary throws up a few other surprises too.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Looking at one day in your food diary - the Monday, for instance.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48We're going to look at these different foods - tiramisu,
0:13:48 > 0:13:52chocolate mousse - my favourite too - chocolate biscuits...
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Obviously have lots of sugars,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57but there's lots of other foods that have sugars in them as well.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Fried chicken - lots of sugar in here as well.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01That's why it's so tasty.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05How many teaspoons of sugar do you think you had in that day?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08I'd probably say about 10 or 11.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11One, two, three...ten,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13your estimate, 11,
0:14:13 > 0:14:1922, 23, 30, 31 and 32 teaspoons of sugar.
0:14:19 > 0:14:24Way above any safe level for a diabetic person to be eating.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I suppose it's the hidden sugars, the not obvious ones,
0:14:27 > 0:14:30that you tend to forget about.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33From now on, Rick wants Steve to take responsibility
0:14:33 > 0:14:37for his own diet and measure his blood sugar levels daily.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39So that's 11.2.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Let me put that into perspective -
0:14:40 > 0:14:44two hours after having eaten, I would want your blood sugar level
0:14:44 > 0:14:46to be no more than nine.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49There's too much sugar in your bloodstream
0:14:49 > 0:14:52and the body's not responding to it at all, so there's just
0:14:52 > 0:14:56too much sugar floating around inside and that has to be stopped.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01To help him lower his blood sugar levels, Steve is given a food plan
0:15:01 > 0:15:04designed by a dietician specifically for him.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08But in this house, Lisa used to do the cooking,
0:15:08 > 0:15:13so Steve has drafted in family friend Louise to help.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Just looking at Steve's food plan, so we've got here
0:15:17 > 0:15:19that he's allowed 50g uncooked.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21The plan contains all the major food groups,
0:15:21 > 0:15:25but as Steve overeats, the key here is portion size.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27That's the same size as what
0:15:27 > 0:15:30my four-year-old daughter would be eating.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33She's probably eating too much, then, isn't she?!
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Steve?- Yep?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- That's your portion.- Wow.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Is that going to fill you?
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Almost a waste of dirtying a plate. Um...
0:15:44 > 0:15:48A few miles away, Lisa has also been given a food plan.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51There are no banned foods, but her daily allowance has been cut
0:15:51 > 0:15:54from her usual 4,000 to around 1,500 calories a day,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57and it involves measuring everything to the last gram.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59The only time I would weigh things
0:15:59 > 0:16:03is when baking cakes, so baking is precise.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05So, very familiar with weighing stuff,
0:16:05 > 0:16:07but I wouldn't ever do that for dinner.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Now that she is on her own, I can begin to tackle
0:16:10 > 0:16:13her individual issues that sit behind
0:16:13 > 0:16:15her struggle with diet and weight.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Hey.- Hello, good morning.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- How're you doing?- I'm all right, thank you. How are you?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25So yeah, all the way to the top.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29- Well, Rick will be pleased with the stairs.- Yeah!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31OK, so how's it going?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I'm quite anxious about getting the food right.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I'm a bit of a perfectionist. If I set myself a target...
0:16:39 > 0:16:44..and don't achieve it, I hate that. The fear of failure is really real.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47And is this something you're used to kicking into,
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- this fear of failure?- Yeah.- Right.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51The need to be in control and plan
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- and those kind of things. - Absolutely.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57Because that then lessens the chance of failure.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Or maybe it heightens it, because you could argue
0:17:00 > 0:17:05a fear of failure creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07It's ridiculous, isn't it?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- It's not ridiculous, this is you! - Yeah.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15And one of the things I remember you saying we first met
0:17:15 > 0:17:19was, this is for you, something about being able to have children.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Yeah. I guess it symbolises the unfulfilled kind of dream,
0:17:22 > 0:17:23I guess.
0:17:23 > 0:17:30Why hasn't my desire to have a family
0:17:30 > 0:17:33motivated me to lose the weight?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35That's a really hard question.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37That makes you sad.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Yeah, and that's what I can't answer.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Do actually, deep down, do I not actually want a family?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44I know I'm scared of being pregnant.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47That does scare me,
0:17:47 > 0:17:49because it...you know,
0:17:49 > 0:17:51it ended in a miscarriage last time.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- And the pain of that...- Mm.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Um, I guess I must be...rubbish or broken in some way.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59You're rubbish, are you?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03That's what you feel about yourself? You're rubbish, you're broken?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Because, if we want a family,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- and Steve desperately wants a family...- Mm.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12But then the question is still
0:18:12 > 0:18:15why the hell can't I do something about it?
0:18:15 > 0:18:21I think you absolutely beat yourself up if you don't do things right.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26The expectation you have for yourself is brutal.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32'She's such a kind, lovely, loving person,'
0:18:32 > 0:18:35but really struggles, you know, with this huge
0:18:35 > 0:18:39kind of fear of failure and these expectations she has for herself.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43So to help her understand that and to challenge this notion
0:18:43 > 0:18:48and to give herself a break, I think would be quite significant
0:18:48 > 0:18:51in helping her not just lose the weight
0:18:51 > 0:18:53but maintain a new and healthy lifestyle.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Today, Lisa's new healthy lifestyle steps up a gear.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05The trainers are going on today because Rick is on his way.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07I've no idea what is about to happen,
0:19:07 > 0:19:11but just anticipating discomfort.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Nice and high.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17OK, and kick the legs back a little bit for me.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Rick has created an exercise programme
0:19:19 > 0:19:22that he hopes will help her lose an average of two pounds a week.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25As Lisa's not used to doing any exercise,
0:19:25 > 0:19:27he starts with the simple act of walking.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30We'll stop every so often. If your feet hurt, you tell me straightaway.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35If anything hurts, you tell me straightaway, OK? Let's go.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I need you for the next ten minutes to walk at a pace
0:19:38 > 0:19:40slightly above your normal walking pace,
0:19:40 > 0:19:41so I need to know what that is.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Some people walk extremely fast.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Yeah, no, not me.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Walking at a fast pace provides many of the same benefits as running,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50but with less impact on the joints.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Rick hopes It will not only help build up Lisa's overall fitness
0:19:54 > 0:19:56but she will burn calories as well.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Walking at about 4mph for 40 minutes every day
0:20:00 > 0:20:03can burn between 150 and 220 calories.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06We haven't gone very far and I was out of breath.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07So, that's not so good.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I can't imagine choosing to do this for myself.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14But if Lisa really wants to lose the weight, she has no choice.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18When I worked out exactly how much body fat you need to lose,
0:20:18 > 0:20:22it came up to 9.5 stone.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24That's like a person.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30I want you to take that 9.5 stone and throw it far into the future,
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- somewhere between 18 months and 22 months.- Yeah.
0:20:34 > 0:20:40Today, I want you to focus on 1.5 to two pounds every week.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43That's what we're churning out, that's what we're working on,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45step by step, day by day, week by week.
0:20:45 > 0:20:50- It feels like a huge, unachievable mountain.- Sure.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55But it is very much achievable, all right?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59It's the second week.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Go get it.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03A key part of changing eating habits
0:21:03 > 0:21:05is to eat at regular times.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Branwell!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09But Rick has already discovered from looking in Steve's car
0:21:09 > 0:21:12that he likes to binge on lots of sweet things.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15If he's going to get his blood sugar levels under control,
0:21:15 > 0:21:19he needs to follow a routine that stops this chaotic eating,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21but as a self-confessed rebel,
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Steve is not a man for obeying rules.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30So, I've asked behaviour specialist Paul Dolan to help him
0:21:30 > 0:21:31come up with a daily plan.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Does that say "Week Planner"?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36It does, I didn't even know that was there, if I'm honest,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39it's part of the furniture.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42You've got all fridge magnets and everything else all over it!
0:21:42 > 0:21:43So what we're trying to do here,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47is to give some structure to your day, to your week, so let's write
0:21:47 > 0:21:50this down, in fact not, "let's write it down" - YOU write it down.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53It's really important it comes from you, that you take ownership of it.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57If you put eight o'clock B&B, is "breakfast and Branwell".
0:21:57 > 0:21:58And I want you to tick off
0:21:58 > 0:22:00every time you do what you say you're going to
0:22:00 > 0:22:02and that will feel good
0:22:02 > 0:22:04and hopefully then you'll carry on doing it.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07What do you think Lisa will make of this when she comes back
0:22:07 > 0:22:08and sees this?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Yeah, she'll probably be happy, she kind of likes lists.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Each time we've worked with a rota before, it kind of works.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's just I hate it, and so...
0:22:16 > 0:22:19These are all things that you've said
0:22:19 > 0:22:22that will make you healthier and happier, if you do them.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Yeah, I just need to get over the fact it's a list.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27I think it takes me back to my school with homework diaries
0:22:27 > 0:22:29and that whole sort of thing, yeah,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32literally writing out your prep book.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34And I got invited to leave that school.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36All you're doing with this is making it easier for you to do the
0:22:36 > 0:22:39things that are going to make you happier and healthier, that's it.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Yeah, I get your points,
0:22:41 > 0:22:45just something in here doesn't quite say "yay", at the moment.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50I mean, OK, it's breakfast at eight, it's just breakfast at eight.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- That's it. - It's that in my head, that, it...
0:22:52 > 0:22:56It makes it seem like breakfast is a chore that needs to be done.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Two months is the time it takes to change a health habit,
0:22:59 > 0:23:01some of the evidence suggests, so this gives us time
0:23:01 > 0:23:04to think of breakfast as something that you've always done.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Yeah, just breakfast.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08But it seems that even a small suggested change
0:23:08 > 0:23:10can make Steve feel uncomfortable.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I kind of don't like being pinned down to the finer points,
0:23:14 > 0:23:17the finer details, so breakfast needs to happen in the day -
0:23:17 > 0:23:20does it have to happen at eight o'clock every day?
0:23:20 > 0:23:25It's a list, and as much as it's all good things on the list,
0:23:25 > 0:23:29it still feels like it sucks the joy out of life, because it's a list.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36Across town, Lisa has been set a target of losing two pounds a week.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37I know that she likes a challenge,
0:23:37 > 0:23:41but I'm worried that her fear of failure may hamper her progress.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45So I've asked Paul to pop round to give Lisa an added incentive
0:23:45 > 0:23:47to help her complete the challenge.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Let's think about what target you might like to achieve
0:23:50 > 0:23:52if we thought about the next four weeks.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57The food plan is meant to be, like, for two pounds a week, erm...
0:23:57 > 0:24:00and I'm meant to be happy with that.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Right. Clearly you're not going to be. OK.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06So, what if we said three pound a week?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Feels like a bit of a stretch, makes me a bit nervous...- Right.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11..because there's room for failing in that, I think.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14There is, but you could do it.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Yeah.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Paul believes that making a public commitment
0:24:17 > 0:24:20will spur her on for the next four weeks.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Maybe add an incentive into it. How about giving money to
0:24:24 > 0:24:26an anti-charity, to somewhere you loathe
0:24:26 > 0:24:28rather than somewhere you love,
0:24:28 > 0:24:31in the event that you don't achieve your targets?
0:24:31 > 0:24:32I would hate that!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35So, if you hate it, it acts as a real motivation.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38The pain of seeing the money go to them is motivating for you to...
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- No way!- ..to achieve your target, how about that?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Do you want to give that a go?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46OK. The pressure!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I feel the pressure of that!
0:24:48 > 0:24:52What do you think the maximum you could afford would be?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54100 quid feels painful.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57If Lisa loses the bet, she'll have to donate
0:24:57 > 0:24:59the money to a political party she doesn't support.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03- And in four weeks' time, if you've lost 12 pounds or more...- Yeah.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- ..you can have it back.- OK.
0:25:05 > 0:25:0790...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- £100.- £100, right.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13Sometimes pain or the anticipation of pain can be quite motivating.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15She really doesn't want to give them the money
0:25:15 > 0:25:19and so it gives her that extra kick to achieve her target.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25We're going all the way to the top of the house, I'm afraid.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Yeah, yeah, there's quite a few stairs to get up.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30It's the end of week two
0:25:30 > 0:25:31and spurred on by her bet with Paul,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Lisa has arranged for an exercise bike at home.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Riding a stationary bike every day for around 45 minutes
0:25:38 > 0:25:39at a moderate pace
0:25:39 > 0:25:41can burn around 350 calories.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Perfect!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Yeah, it's got measuring things and gadgets on it.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52There we go. Much more positive about this
0:25:52 > 0:25:54than the stinky walking.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59SHE COUGHS
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Meanwhile, Steve is following instructions
0:26:01 > 0:26:03to monitor his blood sugar levels.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06At its last reading it was 11.2.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09But today, he is hoping for a single figure...
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Eight! Rick should be pleased.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14I think normal people's blood sugar is between four and seven,
0:26:14 > 0:26:17but for diabetics it fluctuates throughout the day more than normal.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20So that's come down remarkably well.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24But although Lisa is throwing herself into the project,
0:26:24 > 0:26:26she is feeling the separation keenly.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31I'm worried and anxious about...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33how this continues.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38Erm...I think I probably could just do with a hug from Steve,
0:26:38 > 0:26:40a bit of a play with Branwell.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42A bit of normal life.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Yeah. Well, I'll talk to Steve about it.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46A bit of reassurance, I think.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56It's two weeks down and Lisa decides it's time to weigh herself.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Is she keeping up with Paul's challenge?
0:26:58 > 0:27:0021.10 and ¾.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02So almost eight pounds.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04That's all right.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07If she carries on at this rate, she will win her bet with Paul.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10For Steve, however, it's not such good news...
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Oh, that's up three-and-half pounds.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17A bit disappointing. I have had a bad day yesterday where I over-ate.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20But I realised, after I'd eaten again,
0:27:20 > 0:27:21that I was comfort eating.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Erm, because...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Yeah, I think it was Paul's visit and the lists.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29So I found myself just that little bit knocked.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32I'm a person... I doesn't like being told what to do.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Steve isn't doing as well as I'd hoped
0:27:34 > 0:27:37and I'm concerned his attitude to making real change
0:27:37 > 0:27:40may destabilize everything.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42But today, Steve and Lisa are allowed their first phone call
0:27:42 > 0:27:44since the separation.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47I'm really excited! I feel like a giddy schoolgirl.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50SHE CHUCKLES
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Oh, that's her now.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Hey, Boo.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57'Hi!'
0:27:57 > 0:27:59- How are you? - I'm all right, how are you?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Yeah, good. Good, thanks.
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Yeah, how's it all been going?
0:28:02 > 0:28:05There's been a number of times I've nearly called you.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08'I think I've really needed a hug, that's what I've needed.'
0:28:08 > 0:28:11So I was just like, "Where's Steve? I need him to hug me."
0:28:11 > 0:28:12Yeah.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- Have you had to do any strange things?- Lists.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17- You've had to write a list? - 'Yeah.'
0:28:17 > 0:28:18Basically, yeah. Writing a list.
0:28:18 > 0:28:23So everything I've been saying to you for 17 years about lists...
0:28:23 > 0:28:24they've got you doing in two weeks?
0:28:24 > 0:28:26'Well, I'm only doing it'
0:28:26 > 0:28:28because I've promised to do it.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29I'm not enjoying it.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Yeah, you know how I feel about lists.
0:28:31 > 0:28:32SHE LAUGHS
0:28:32 > 0:28:35- Well, I probably should say goodbye, then.- 'Yes.'
0:28:35 > 0:28:37And I'll speak to you next week.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Cool. I love you very, very much.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41- 'I love you, too.'- All right.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43- 'Take care.'- Bye!
0:28:43 > 0:28:46So it was just lovely to hear his voice.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48I find it hilarious that he's got to make lists
0:28:48 > 0:28:50and we've got charts and things.
0:28:50 > 0:28:51I think that's really funny.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53I've been after him making lists for ages.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56So, yeah, that's really funny.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00But I think I will still enjoy kind of the space to get my head around
0:29:00 > 0:29:03what's going on and what I've got to do to change
0:29:03 > 0:29:06and make this work kind of long-term, so...
0:29:07 > 0:29:09But really good to hear his voice.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15It's three weeks into the separation.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19I'm reassured that Lisa believes in the benefit of time apart from Steve
0:29:19 > 0:29:21and now I'd like to help her come to terms
0:29:21 > 0:29:24with an extremely painful episode in her life.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27I've discovered that ten years ago Lisa had a miscarriage,
0:29:27 > 0:29:30and for anyone, that can be a traumatic experience.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34She described herself as being "broken" by it.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37We were, at erm, kind of ten-and-half weeks at that stage.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39I had morning sickness.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41- It felt established?- Yeah.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45We were super excited by it. We were really pleased.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47We went for a scan
0:29:47 > 0:29:52and at that point they couldn't find a heartbeat. Erm...
0:29:52 > 0:29:54- Do you remember that moment? - Yeah.
0:29:54 > 0:29:55Because we were excited.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58We thought we were going to be able to leave with a photo,
0:29:58 > 0:30:00you know, a scan of our, erm...
0:30:00 > 0:30:02- Your child.- Yeah. Yeah.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08It's the saddest thing that's ever happened to me, for sure.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11I think one of the things about miscarriage is it's that hope,
0:30:11 > 0:30:13that hope of a baby.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18Erm, that is...severed in that moment.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22It's that stuff that explains why a really smart, loving, caring,
0:30:22 > 0:30:24sensible, rational woman like you
0:30:24 > 0:30:26- struggles so much...- Yeah.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30..to get to a state of health and fitness that you want to be at...
0:30:32 > 0:30:34..but it feels fraught with anxiety for you.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38And is that because it opens the door
0:30:38 > 0:30:42to the possibility to going back into a situation
0:30:42 > 0:30:46that perhaps again could be unbelievably painful for you?
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Yeah.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51And that scares you?
0:30:56 > 0:30:59It feels like the ultimate failure.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01I think, maybe for you, weight...
0:31:02 > 0:31:04..is emotionally protective.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08And so I think what you're saying is...
0:31:08 > 0:31:12"To lose this weight, I'm letting all my defences down."
0:31:13 > 0:31:17I get it, I completely understand why weight loss for you
0:31:17 > 0:31:20is something rationally you want to do,
0:31:20 > 0:31:22but emotionally it absolutely does your head in
0:31:22 > 0:31:26cos it takes you to this place where you're terrified.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29For you to free yourself up from this self-blame...
0:31:30 > 0:31:32If you can let go of that,
0:31:32 > 0:31:35in a way, I think you can successfully become fit again,
0:31:35 > 0:31:38because you know, when you become fit,
0:31:38 > 0:31:39baby's on the agenda again.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42It's about taking a risk.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47It's all right, darling. Just breathe.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54For Lisa, her miscarriage seems to have trapped her
0:31:54 > 0:31:56and stopped her from making positive changes in her life.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59I'd like to show her that, to move on from there,
0:31:59 > 0:32:01she has to be brave enough to take risks.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07It's three weeks into the separation.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Rick has asked Steve to run, but it doesn't come naturally to him.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13So today, his friend Louise has dragged him out.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15- How are you feeling?- Yeah, tired.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17Oh...!
0:32:20 > 0:32:24It's probably nearly 20 years since I've last done something like that.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28Yeah, apparently, I will start enjoying this soon.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30Well done, Steve.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Change is never going to be easy,
0:32:32 > 0:32:34but if he is going to change his lifestyle
0:32:34 > 0:32:35before he gets back with Lisa,
0:32:35 > 0:32:38he needs to try to stick to the guidelines.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40I did have a slip-up last week.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42- What was that? - So I had a bowl of cereal.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- So outside of...? - Outside of the normal meal plan.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47So its failing back into that old habit of comfort eating.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51And I think, yeah, that was borne out of frustration.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54It seems like there's a lot of rules that you've got to follow in this.
0:32:54 > 0:32:55Yeah, there is.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57For me, if there's rules, they're a rough guideline.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59- To be broken.- Yeah.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Steve may have only been eating cereal outside his meal plan,
0:33:05 > 0:33:07which he says is comfort eating,
0:33:07 > 0:33:09but I'd like to address this.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12It's part of his dislike of routines and lists.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Steve didn't like following school rules, either,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16and was asked to leave.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18So today, I'm taking him back there.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21How long since you've been here?
0:33:21 > 0:33:22- Nearly 30 years.- Oh, my gosh!
0:33:22 > 0:33:25- It literally is, 28, 29 years. - Right.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28So this is the old physics lab.
0:33:28 > 0:33:29Hello.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31- We're just...- Hi!
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Do you...?- Yes. This is Mr Judd.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37My old chemistry teacher.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Hello, Mr Judd.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40Wow. How nice to meet you.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- Yes, it's good to see you. - Remind me of your name.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43- It's Steve Macbeth.- Steve...
0:33:45 > 0:33:48- Long time no see, Steve. - Yes, nearly 30 years.- Really?
0:33:48 > 0:33:51Yeah, Mr Judd was the person that gave me my first detention.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53I know we spoke about this.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55Can you remember what it was for?
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Erm, to be perfectly honest, I can't. Can you remind me?
0:33:57 > 0:34:01I can. Someone farted in chemistry and I found it hysterical
0:34:01 > 0:34:03and I couldn't stop laughing.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05And so, I think in order to gain control of the class,
0:34:05 > 0:34:06you gave me a detention.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09- Everyone else stopped laughing at that stage.- Really?
0:34:09 > 0:34:10Including me - I think I cried.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12And what do you remember about Reading School?
0:34:12 > 0:34:13It's fond memories.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Apart from, obviously, being constantly in trouble,
0:34:15 > 0:34:17having detention after detention.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19How many detentions did you have?
0:34:19 > 0:34:21- It was 52.- 52?!
0:34:21 > 0:34:22- Over.- 52?
0:34:22 > 0:34:24He generally didn't like conforming with
0:34:24 > 0:34:26the rules and regulations that we had.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30And I think you said you were sort of asked to leave.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32- I was invited to leave the school. - Invited to leave.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34Invited to leave the school.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37So an 11-year-old boy, bright, you know,
0:34:37 > 0:34:39quality of work really good, but just...
0:34:39 > 0:34:41What did he say?
0:34:41 > 0:34:42An issue with authority.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45I just really want to hear you
0:34:45 > 0:34:50kind of help me understand why I know there have been moments
0:34:50 > 0:34:55where you have felt irritated with some of the kind of interventions,
0:34:55 > 0:34:57which I think sits around you
0:34:57 > 0:34:59feeling like you're being told what to do.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01I think the struggle for that is in my head.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05Then that makes what I'm doing not enjoyable,
0:35:05 > 0:35:07because I'm not doing it for me,
0:35:07 > 0:35:09I'm not doing it for my weight loss,
0:35:09 > 0:35:11I'm not doing it to structure my life.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14I'm doing it because I've been told this is what we need to do
0:35:14 > 0:35:18because that's been, that's the homework that's been set,
0:35:18 > 0:35:19so we're doing that.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21You've been checked and monitored
0:35:21 > 0:35:23a bit like the kid who didn't hand in his homework.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Yeah, a bit like that. So if you don't hand it in
0:35:26 > 0:35:28you're just going to get done for not handing it in,
0:35:28 > 0:35:30not for not being good enough for doing it.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32I take a lot of criticism to heart.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35I think it goes back to primary school
0:35:35 > 0:35:37and knowing that growing up,
0:35:37 > 0:35:39that technically you were unwanted as a child.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41What does that mean?
0:35:41 > 0:35:42In primary school, you had kids going,
0:35:42 > 0:35:44"I'd rather be dead than adopted."
0:35:44 > 0:35:46So you were bullied for being adopted.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49There was... Yeah. And that does get to you after a while.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51You realise it's you against the world.
0:35:51 > 0:35:55I do see this 11-year-old boy, I see him.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I see him sometimes going...
0:35:57 > 0:35:59"make me."
0:35:59 > 0:36:03My fear is, unless we can try and address that a bit...
0:36:04 > 0:36:07..that's the bit that's going to kick in.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11And when we leave, it's all going to unravel again
0:36:11 > 0:36:14because, unless you take ownership and it becomes yours,
0:36:14 > 0:36:16if it feels like we've told you to do it,
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- eventually you'll stop doing it... - Yeah.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22..and you'll sabotage it and you'll be "invited to leave".
0:36:22 > 0:36:24You know what I mean?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26And I do think that part of you is kind of instrumental
0:36:26 > 0:36:30in possibly why this hasn't worked sustainably for you in the past.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34I think Steve has kind of got to a point
0:36:34 > 0:36:36where he understands
0:36:36 > 0:36:38what is actually very common in a lot of people
0:36:38 > 0:36:41who struggle to maintain positive behaviour change.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Behaviour change is not difficult.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Sustaining behaviour change is difficult.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47And my concern for Steve, moving forward,
0:36:47 > 0:36:51is if he finds himself plateauing or making...
0:36:51 > 0:36:55having a lapse, kind of falling off the wagon a bit,
0:36:55 > 0:37:00his sensitivity to being perceived as a failure is so great that
0:37:00 > 0:37:01that's when he'll give up.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04And that's it'll all unravel and he'll start putting weight on again.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08So coming here, for him to identify that, was really, really important.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Well, today I got to go back to my old secondary school.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14It was kind of cathartic.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16And I had a meeting with Tanya
0:37:16 > 0:37:18and, erm...that was tough,
0:37:18 > 0:37:21as she doesn't fully feel
0:37:21 > 0:37:22I'm buying into this whole process.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24And I think she's right.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26I'm not training as hard as I could.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30I'm not being as regimented on the diet as I could.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34My natural resistance to institutionalization
0:37:34 > 0:37:37and dislike of that kind of structure.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39So I'm going to try and embrace it,
0:37:39 > 0:37:41look positively on it and try and learn to love it.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Meanwhile, Lisa still has her own battles
0:37:47 > 0:37:50with Rick's exercise programme.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Exercise still doesn't come naturally to me.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55It's sort of something I do because I feel like I should do.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57I'm not choosing, really, to do it.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Erm, and...
0:38:00 > 0:38:04..and the kind of the programme that I've put myself,
0:38:04 > 0:38:05I do every other day,
0:38:05 > 0:38:08I'm sure he'll tell me I need to do it more than that.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11So he has come round to pay her a visit.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- Bend your knees more, get your bum almost to the ground.- I can't!
0:38:14 > 0:38:15Squat down. You can. Come on, let's go.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Bend your knees right down.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Bend your knees. Bend your knees. Come down with me.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21- How does that feel?- Painful.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Painful.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25One more to go. You can do this. Focus.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Get your bum to the ground, bend your knees, push up.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31- How long have you been working out for?- I have no idea.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33- You think my brain can work? - Eight minutes.- Really?
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Eight minutes of workout. You've got a lot more work to do, OK?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39It feels like she's only persevering with the exercises
0:38:39 > 0:38:42because I'm here. And I worry that when she's by herself
0:38:42 > 0:38:45that's not going to happen and she's going to give up
0:38:45 > 0:38:47and abandon these exercises altogether.
0:38:47 > 0:38:48That was rubbish.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50- A goal would be to try and do two in that 20 seconds.- Really?
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Yeah, really.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56There's something in her that is preventing her from moving forward.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58As she fails, she just gives up.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01She becomes disheartened and she abandons the whole thing.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04And I can see that that's going to happen here.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08You can do this. Come on, keep going, keep going.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12I think I just, erm...
0:39:12 > 0:39:16get frustrated at what I can't do.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Just because you can't do something very well
0:39:19 > 0:39:21doesn't mean you don't keep trying.
0:39:21 > 0:39:22You've got to keep trying.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26And I worry that if you don't keep trying and pushing through that
0:39:26 > 0:39:28and getting through that barrier
0:39:28 > 0:39:30that you're going to not do the exercises at all.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34Unless Lisa conquers her fear of failing now,
0:39:34 > 0:39:36I'm worried she'll fall back into her old ways
0:39:36 > 0:39:39when she gets back with Steve in just five weeks' time.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Back home, he is embracing the food plan
0:39:43 > 0:39:45and is carefully watching exactly what he eats.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48Zucchini or courgettes noodles.
0:39:48 > 0:39:49Zoodles, as they are called in America.
0:39:49 > 0:39:54I'm so pleased that Steve's finally taken control of his own diet.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56This healthy eating will have a positive effect
0:39:56 > 0:39:58on his blood sugar levels
0:39:58 > 0:40:00as well as helping him to lose weight.
0:40:04 > 0:40:05It's the end of the fifth week,
0:40:05 > 0:40:07and halfway through the separation,
0:40:07 > 0:40:10and today I have brought Lisa to Derbyshire.
0:40:10 > 0:40:11Whoa...!
0:40:11 > 0:40:13That's some slippery rock!
0:40:13 > 0:40:16She is still battling with her fears of failure.
0:40:16 > 0:40:17So I want to try something.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20What are we doing? Are we doing that?!
0:40:20 > 0:40:22From here, it looks like a long way up.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25I want her to conquer a hill climb she attempted five years ago,
0:40:25 > 0:40:26but couldn't complete.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30What do you remember of this last time you did this walk?
0:40:30 > 0:40:33There are hidden boulders over there
0:40:33 > 0:40:36and the only way up is to kind of clamber up them
0:40:36 > 0:40:37and I just couldn't do them.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39And so I think I avoid things like this
0:40:39 > 0:40:41in case it reaches the point where I can't do it.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45You avoid things that feel risky,
0:40:45 > 0:40:47challenging, or too big for you.
0:40:47 > 0:40:48Yeah.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Is it hard?
0:40:50 > 0:40:53My memory of it is that, yeah, it's proper hard.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55And I'm lighter now than what I was
0:40:55 > 0:41:00but I'm not convinced that I can do it.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02But if she can do it,
0:41:02 > 0:41:05I think it could change everything for Lisa.
0:41:05 > 0:41:09Throughout the separation her anxiety has controlled her actions
0:41:09 > 0:41:12and I think stopped her from achieving her goals.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14- Whoa...!- Yes!
0:41:14 > 0:41:16By conquering the peak this time,
0:41:16 > 0:41:18I hope she can change that mind-set for good.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- Are you up?- Yeah, I think so.- OK.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25But as we reach the point where Lisa gave up before,
0:41:25 > 0:41:28her fear of failure begins to take over.
0:41:28 > 0:41:29What are you thinking?
0:41:29 > 0:41:32Going back feels like an option right now.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35There's less...
0:41:36 > 0:41:39..determination to keep going forward.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46For what it's worth, I believe you can.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55Do you want to take my hand? Shall we give it a go?
0:42:14 > 0:42:16You're still climbing.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18You've done it.
0:42:23 > 0:42:24What does that feel like?
0:42:24 > 0:42:27This is about choice and...
0:42:29 > 0:42:31- ..determination.- Mm, yeah.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36So do you think it's time for the procrastination to end?
0:42:39 > 0:42:40Yeah.
0:42:42 > 0:42:43Maybe I'll come and do it again,
0:42:43 > 0:42:46with a baby in tow, with a toddler
0:42:46 > 0:42:49or a little one of some sort.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Come and do these rocks together.
0:42:51 > 0:42:52Weight and weight issues,
0:42:52 > 0:42:55it's not just about food and eating.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57It really is about...
0:42:57 > 0:42:59issues that sit behind why we eat,
0:42:59 > 0:43:02why we use food in the way that we do.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06And I think today for Lisa, she's overcome so many fears,
0:43:06 > 0:43:09she's understood the role of anxiety in her life,
0:43:09 > 0:43:11holding her back from so many things that she wants to do
0:43:11 > 0:43:14and wants to achieve.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16And that feels really good.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21Today, Paul is on his way to see Lisa.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25The last time they met, Lisa bet Paul she could lose 12 pounds
0:43:25 > 0:43:26over the following four weeks.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29And today they find out if she has achieved her goal.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31This is moment of truth for Lisa.
0:43:31 > 0:43:36Has she lost 12 pound in weight or is she going to lose £100 sterling?
0:43:36 > 0:43:37I really hope she's lost the weight
0:43:37 > 0:43:40because she's such a perfectionist that, if she hasn't,
0:43:40 > 0:43:43she's very likely to throw the towel in.
0:43:43 > 0:43:45OK...
0:43:46 > 0:43:48So what is that, then?
0:43:48 > 0:43:50- That's nine pounds.- Yeah.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53I mean, let's be fair. That's a good...
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Let's be fair, that's a good weight loss.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58In four weeks, that's a nice, healthy weight loss.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00So that's the positive.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03Of course, the negative is now that it's three pound less
0:44:03 > 0:44:04than you committed to losing.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07- So I think we're going to have to get your money and...- Oh...!
0:44:07 > 0:44:09..go and post it.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Gutted!
0:44:14 > 0:44:17I don't know if I can do this. This feels like failing.
0:44:17 > 0:44:21Erm...and I don't want to fail in this.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23I think you're a bit of a gambling man.
0:44:23 > 0:44:24I get that feeling.
0:44:24 > 0:44:28So I wonder if we can, I don't know, play double or quits or something?
0:44:30 > 0:44:32- Double or quits? £200 or nothing? - Yeah.
0:44:32 > 0:44:36If I want to achieve my long-term goal by the end of the project,
0:44:36 > 0:44:39- if I want to see that 19 number, I need to step it up...- OK.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41..otherwise I'm not going to get to that goal.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44- So you're going to get me another £100 to put with that 100?- Yep.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Take this 100 out, ready...
0:44:47 > 0:44:51I hope Lisa's perfectionism won't allow her to lose the bet,
0:44:51 > 0:44:54but to win she must now shed five pounds a week.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58- Achievable but challenging this target, Lise.- Yeah.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01- You going to do it?- Yep, for sure.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09Since our trip to his old school,
0:45:09 > 0:45:12it seems that Steve has turned over a new leaf.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16But will a coffee morning at work resurrect some old habits?
0:45:16 > 0:45:20- Did you want some of the quiche? - Some of the quiche.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22I've asked Rick to pop round
0:45:22 > 0:45:24and keep a close eye on what he's eating.
0:45:24 > 0:45:26- How's it going? Nice to meet you. - Good to see you
0:45:26 > 0:45:29I'm here to spy. What has he been eating out of this?
0:45:29 > 0:45:32- He has been pretty good today, he's had salad.- Good.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36- He's had the baked chicken instead of the fried.- Good.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38There was one place you used to cheat a little bit
0:45:38 > 0:45:40- and we're going to check it out now. - The car?
0:45:40 > 0:45:42- You know what I'm talking about, yeah.- Yeah.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44- Shall we go and check out the car? - Let's go check out the car.
0:45:44 > 0:45:45OK, cool. Let's go.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49Eating in the car that you used to do
0:45:49 > 0:45:52- wasn't so much cheating as it was unconscious eating.- Yes.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54You were grabbing for that quick fix,
0:45:54 > 0:45:57- but it was high in sugar, it was high in fat...- Yeah.
0:45:57 > 0:45:58..and it just was not good for you,
0:45:58 > 0:46:00it was adding a lot to the midriff here.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03What have we got now? Let's have a look.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05Apart from a few doggy biscuits and things in the back,
0:46:05 > 0:46:08there's still all the parking...
0:46:08 > 0:46:10OK, a parking ticket.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13- And I think a sugar-free mint is the...- A sugar-free mint?
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Have you noticed they're diabetic?
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Only diabetic-friendly, so there's still calories, but...
0:46:17 > 0:46:20Excellent, that's fine. You've really tackled this now,
0:46:20 > 0:46:22you're thinking about your food plan more consciously.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25You're addressing the way you eat more consciously.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27When we first met Steve,
0:46:27 > 0:46:31his blood sugar was dangerously high at 24 points.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34It's time to test blood sugars before a meal.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37So what effect has his change in diet
0:46:37 > 0:46:38had on his blood sugar levels now?
0:46:40 > 0:46:415.8.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43You're supposed to be between four and seven
0:46:43 > 0:46:45and that is somewhere between four and seven.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Yeah, another reason to feel good about yourself.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51There's just two weeks to go before Steve and Lisa
0:46:51 > 0:46:53set eyes on each other again...
0:46:53 > 0:46:54Whah...!
0:46:54 > 0:46:57..and following our trip to the Derbyshire hills,
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Lisa seems more determined than ever.
0:46:59 > 0:47:00Derbyshire was good.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04Getting up the cliff was a very good moment
0:47:04 > 0:47:06and I didn't think I could do it.
0:47:06 > 0:47:12It makes me realise I can do probably more than I think I can do.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16It was about, yeah, choosing to do it
0:47:16 > 0:47:18and therefore, once I'd made a choice,
0:47:18 > 0:47:21gritting teeth and getting through it, so...
0:47:21 > 0:47:25And that kind of becomes the link to getting pregnant again.
0:47:25 > 0:47:30The reward is kind of baby and family.
0:47:30 > 0:47:31I'm so pleased for Lisa.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34Now that she's changed her mind-set,
0:47:34 > 0:47:37I believe she will find it easier to sustain her weight loss.
0:47:37 > 0:47:38Oh!
0:47:40 > 0:47:41And not only that.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44After nine weeks of Rick's training programme,
0:47:44 > 0:47:47she's gone from being out of breath just walking
0:47:47 > 0:47:50to beginning to be able to jog for a few minutes at a time.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52This is amazing!
0:47:52 > 0:47:54SHE LAUGHS
0:47:55 > 0:47:58- You're running! - I'm sweaty, don't get too close.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00You're running! Look at you! Look at you!
0:48:00 > 0:48:04I didn't expect this. I'm shocked today. Completely shocked.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06- I've got muscles in my stomach! - Can I feel?
0:48:06 > 0:48:09I don't know if you can feel them, but I know they're there.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13And now that Steve has his blood sugar under control
0:48:13 > 0:48:15he's also going all out to look his best
0:48:15 > 0:48:17before being reunited with Lisa.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20Five, four, three, two.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22That's good work, buddy. All right?
0:48:22 > 0:48:25That's how I want you to train from this day forward, OK?
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Finally, the ten-week split is up
0:48:44 > 0:48:47and today Steve and Lisa will be reunited.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49Gosh, today is the day.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51Getting all sorted.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53Looking forward to tonight?
0:48:53 > 0:48:55It's going to be amazing. I'm really looking forward to it.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58I can't wait to see me wife. I'm fairly sure she's done well.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01The reason for doing it is so that we were different
0:49:01 > 0:49:03when we come back, physically different,
0:49:03 > 0:49:05but different in our heads, as well.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07I've got to go and meet my husband. I haven't seen him for ten weeks.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11- Ten weeks?- Yeah, yeah. - That's a long time, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17Oooh, very smart!
0:49:17 > 0:49:20Lisa's going to fall in love like it was her wedding day again.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24This is an amazing moment.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27This is a reunion, a reunion after ten weeks living apart,
0:49:27 > 0:49:30which Lisa and Steve volunteered to do
0:49:30 > 0:49:33because I guess they realised before they'd even met us
0:49:33 > 0:49:35that they were their own worst enemies.
0:49:35 > 0:49:36But it's the beginning,
0:49:36 > 0:49:39and actually the hard work is yet to come.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42How will they cope when they get back together as a couple?
0:49:42 > 0:49:46It's probably the most important question we still have to answer.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49I am feeling super excited.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51I've got no idea what he's going to look like.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53I don't know what he'll be wearing.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55I get to see my husband!
0:49:55 > 0:49:57I get to hug him!
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Feeling excited.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01I have a feeling Lisa's going to come hurtling towards me.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03I want it to be lovely.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I also don't want to fall over in my silly shoes.
0:50:14 > 0:50:18To help them celebrate, I've invited their friends and family.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46CHEERING
0:50:52 > 0:50:56Oh, my gosh, you look amazing!
0:50:57 > 0:50:59How you doing, dude?
0:50:59 > 0:51:02- Hello, mate, how are you?- You're a little sunburnt.- Yeah, yeah.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Look who's come to see you.
0:51:07 > 0:51:08Do you feel like a different man?
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Erm, yeah, I kind of do.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14I want to know what's in your heart. Tell me about the emotion.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16- This is quite a big moment, isn't it?- Yes, it's a big moment.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19And, yeah, I think everything with me just wants to see Lisa.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22- So you don't want me to talk any more, do you?- No!
0:51:22 > 0:51:24- You want me to shut up...- Yeah. - ..and you want to see your wife.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27We ready to see Lisa? Are we ready to see Lisa? OK.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29All right, then.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32# Just give love
0:51:35 > 0:51:36# Love
0:51:36 > 0:51:37# A chance...
0:51:37 > 0:51:39CHEERING
0:51:39 > 0:51:43# I've been thinking about you so long
0:51:44 > 0:51:48# But time just slip away
0:51:49 > 0:51:53# I wonder how your life has gone, baby
0:51:54 > 0:51:56# Since I've been away
0:51:58 > 0:52:00# Just give love... #
0:52:00 > 0:52:02- Oh, my God...!- You seem amazing.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05Thank you. I'm shaking!
0:52:05 > 0:52:06Hi, everyone else!
0:52:10 > 0:52:12Oh, my gosh.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14What do you think?
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- Yeah, stunning.- Stunning!
0:52:17 > 0:52:19It was amazing.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21Oh, Steve looks so different.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23LISA LAUGHS
0:52:23 > 0:52:24How easy those arms go round!
0:52:24 > 0:52:26So look how easy those arms go round.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31So after ten weeks' living apart, the big question is...
0:52:31 > 0:52:33how have they changed?
0:52:33 > 0:52:38Ten weeks ago, your blood sugar levels were 24.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40Way too high.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Today, you have a blood sugar of five.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45That's, that's absolutely amazing.
0:52:45 > 0:52:46You should be really pleased.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49You've not only maintained your blood sugar,
0:52:49 > 0:52:52in ten weeks you've lost one-and-a-half stone.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54That's amazing.
0:52:54 > 0:52:55I'm proud of you.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58So Lisa, at the beginning of ten weeks,
0:52:58 > 0:53:00you were 22-and-a-half stone.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03You wanted to be from the 20s into the teens,
0:53:03 > 0:53:05- to 19-something.- Yeah.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07To me, unrealistic.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09I was wrong.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11- You were right. - Did I do it?
0:53:11 > 0:53:12You did it.
0:53:13 > 0:53:15Yes!
0:53:15 > 0:53:17Lisa's broken through her fears
0:53:17 > 0:53:21and has made it to 19 stones and 13 pounds.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25Lisa, you've proved that, like so many of us,
0:53:25 > 0:53:30you hate losing more than you enjoy winning.
0:53:30 > 0:53:34- Thankfully for you, here is your hard-earned cash.- Yes!
0:53:34 > 0:53:38I think now we've just got to, we've just got to celebrate.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47I strongly believe that this time's going to work.
0:53:47 > 0:53:48I think that they can do this.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59But after a week being back together, there are problems.
0:53:59 > 0:54:01And I want to see if I can help.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03- Hey!- Hello! Nice to see you!
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Hey, Branwell! Hello.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09How's it going?
0:54:09 > 0:54:12I've loved these kind of ten weeks.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15And there is a sense of returning to kind of normality
0:54:15 > 0:54:18that is just a bit...
0:54:18 > 0:54:19less exciting and, er...
0:54:20 > 0:54:22..I think the worry that we have to do this...
0:54:24 > 0:54:25..kind of ourselves.
0:54:25 > 0:54:30We've argued probably once or twice in four days.
0:54:30 > 0:54:31It feels a little bit flat.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34I'm just wondering whether the expectation
0:54:34 > 0:54:37of what it would be like and the reality are very different.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39And that's been quite difficult for the two of you
0:54:39 > 0:54:40as much as anything else.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43I thought it just would be... great to be back together.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46- Erm...- Is it not great?
0:54:46 > 0:54:48It's way harder than I thought it was going to be.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52And because these days haven't been great,
0:54:52 > 0:54:54I guess the worry that...
0:54:54 > 0:54:56what if it doesn't become great?
0:54:56 > 0:54:57What if it just stays being...?
0:54:59 > 0:55:00Yeah, feeling like this.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Kind of a little bit normal.
0:55:02 > 0:55:06I think part of my worry is, will we have fun?
0:55:06 > 0:55:07Is life going to be fun?
0:55:07 > 0:55:11Is there going to be things to look forward to and...?
0:55:11 > 0:55:15And because a lot of the fun used to involve food places...
0:55:15 > 0:55:16And I know that we don't do that any more.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18You're a genius.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20He's just worked it out.
0:55:20 > 0:55:23You don't know how to have fun together any more
0:55:23 > 0:55:24because the one place
0:55:24 > 0:55:29where you always used to communicate in your relationship and have fun
0:55:29 > 0:55:30- was through eating.- Yeah.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33What it gave you before, you have to replace.
0:55:33 > 0:55:36And it gave you something very special in your relationship.
0:55:36 > 0:55:42So my challenge to you is how can find new places to have fun,
0:55:42 > 0:55:46new hobbies, something that doesn't involve food?
0:55:52 > 0:55:55Three months later, have Steve and Lisa learned how to have fun?
0:55:57 > 0:55:59SALSA MUSIC
0:56:01 > 0:56:04We've taken up salsa dancing
0:56:04 > 0:56:07as something fun to do together,
0:56:07 > 0:56:09that wasn't food-orientated.
0:56:09 > 0:56:14We laugh at each other and our ability to not dance.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19I get told off for leading too much, funnily enough.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26And dancing seems to have had other benefits, too.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28I've lost another two stone,
0:56:28 > 0:56:31which makes it four stone four pounds
0:56:31 > 0:56:34since the start of the process.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37I am now 14 stone 12,
0:56:37 > 0:56:41which is I think about two stone down from where we started.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46I think the separation helped in lots of ways.
0:56:46 > 0:56:50I think it allowed me and Steve to remember that we're separate people
0:56:50 > 0:56:51as well as being a couple,
0:56:51 > 0:56:56and that I'm allowed to look after myself.
0:56:56 > 0:56:58I think, yeah, 17 years of marriage,
0:56:58 > 0:57:00you kind of forget who you really are.
0:57:00 > 0:57:04So the time apart helped me to discover a lot about me
0:57:04 > 0:57:07that I was overlooking and sort of forgotten, I think.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12The biggest difference in me
0:57:12 > 0:57:15is I've got a real "seize the day" kind of attitude.
0:57:15 > 0:57:18I feel like I could take on the world in pretty much anything.
0:57:18 > 0:57:21Family is now what we see in our future.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25That is now an option that's available to us.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27- Ah, look at that. Rock on!- Yes!
0:57:27 > 0:57:30# ..Sunshine
0:57:30 > 0:57:34# My only sunshine
0:57:36 > 0:57:42# You make me happy
0:57:42 > 0:57:46# When skies are grey
0:57:48 > 0:57:52# Please, don't take
0:57:52 > 0:57:57# My sunshine away. #