0:00:02 > 0:00:06PHONE RINGS Hello. FASA. Michelle speaking.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10We help people with addiction and also mental health issues.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- In two?- Yes.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14I just can't cope.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18It's a hard thing to walk in through a door and say, "I need help."
0:00:18 > 0:00:22And I don't think people realise how hard it is till you have to do it.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26People are frightened of being de-normalised, segregated,
0:00:26 > 0:00:31fingers pointed at. We need to work hard on the stigmas
0:00:31 > 0:00:33surrounding mental health.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Have you had any history of previous suicide attempts?
0:00:36 > 0:00:42Suicide is a tragedy and in most cases it is preventable.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Paddy, can you hear me?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Good morning. FASA. Wilma speaking. How may I help you?
0:00:59 > 0:01:03You say he is in a crisis. How is he feeling?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08FASA, the Forum For Action On Substance Abuse,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10supports anyone in danger.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13It was the first community-based charity to offer
0:01:13 > 0:01:16support for substance abuse, self-harm,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19suicide and mental health under the one roof.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Their doors are open to anyone, even if
0:01:21 > 0:01:25they have been affected by someone else in crisis.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Hello. Hello. My name is Roberta, I'm from an agency called FASA.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32I'm the community response officer for suicide and self-harm
0:01:32 > 0:01:35and, firstly, I'd like to offer my condolences
0:01:35 > 0:01:37on your recent bereavement.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Roberta supports people left behind after someone has
0:01:40 > 0:01:42taken their own life.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45As soon as she hears about a suicide -
0:01:45 > 0:01:48usually through the police or someone in the community -
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Roberta will contact the family and offer FASA's help.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I was planning maybe just to come out to see you at some stage
0:01:56 > 0:02:00and I was wondering maybe, would this afternoon be OK? OK.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I will see you, then. Take care. Bye-bye.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I'm going to try and put you through to the crisis team now.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14What's your first name? One second, please, Margaret.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27It's a hard one. They're very, very much in turmoil and very low.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32And that's kind of a very similar picture
0:02:32 > 0:02:37to every house that I've visited.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39That's the impact of suicide on a family.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48PHONE RINGS
0:02:48 > 0:02:53I hate answering this because... Unless it is working now.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Good afternoon. FASA, Ballywalter.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03FASA's newest venture is in Eden Village, on the Ards Peninsula.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10This is what it started like, so this is our before.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Basically, it was a builders yard. It was then derelict.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16FASA's boss Anne is taking Jason White
0:03:16 > 0:03:19from the local health trust on a guided tour.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24It's been funded by volunteers, all volunteers' service is used.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27The materials have been donated.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30We find that people do have so many skills that they don't
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- even sometimes realise they have themselves.- Or value?- No.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Until they see the outcomes of it and they see how beneficial it is.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42When it is finished, Eden will offer therapy and counselling.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46But it also hopes to tackle mental health problems associated
0:03:46 > 0:03:48with rural isolation.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54A cafe, garden centre and furniture shop will be staffed by clients
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- and volunteers. - This is our furniture store.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00And this is a really big store.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Well, I wouldn't need to do it...
0:04:05 > 0:04:07It's the confidence of the thing.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10If they are painting something they feel, "I have changed something,"
0:04:10 > 0:04:13and they are mixing. You think they're painting a chair,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15but really they are talking to half a dozen people.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21There is one girl that's down here, June, she came Monday,
0:04:21 > 0:04:25stayed all day, came yesterday and I says to her, "Well, my goodness.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27"You are here today, again?"
0:04:27 > 0:04:30She said, "Yes. Last night was the best sleep I have ever had.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32"I haven't slept like that for years."
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I had sort of given up on humanity.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39It was like a downward spiral
0:04:39 > 0:04:42until I just tried to commit suicide.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47June tried to take her life a number of times.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50About ten years ago,
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I was put on a mixture of drugs, which have stabilised me.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57But I still get very, very low.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01I was moving house and we came here to look at a wee plant
0:05:01 > 0:05:06and Anne started explaining about the place
0:05:06 > 0:05:08and what work they do.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Anne asked me would I like to give it a try?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15She just touched my heart really with how much
0:05:15 > 0:05:20she cared about human beings, no matter what they had done.
0:05:20 > 0:05:25I just felt right away she understands me
0:05:25 > 0:05:27and that was it, that was all it took.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33If you come through this way, I will take you round this way then.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I tried with psychiatrists
0:05:35 > 0:05:40but I knew those people didn't know really what I was talking about.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43When you are mentally ill, you are always searching for something,
0:05:43 > 0:05:49anything, just a wee glimmer of hope, anything that will help you.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I never ever found it and I thought,
0:05:51 > 0:05:54"Well, this is the last time I'm going to give anything a go."
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I just have to put suicide assessment...
0:06:03 > 0:06:08PHONE RINGS Hello. FASA. Hannah speaking.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12OK. Thank you very much, Wilma. You're a star. Cheers. Bye.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I have an initial assessment.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23His presenting issues are alcohol, mental health
0:06:23 > 0:06:27and occasional thoughts that life is not worth living.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Sometimes people really do feel like they don't have anything
0:06:31 > 0:06:32or any form of support.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34This client has really good family support,
0:06:34 > 0:06:39so it's important to remind people of the good things in their lives.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42So now I just need to make an internal referral for trauma
0:06:42 > 0:06:46and addiction and then that'll place him on the waiting list
0:06:46 > 0:06:47to be picked up for that service.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Yeah! Boom.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03In the midst of this chaos you get some order.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Roberta hosts a weekly support group in Belfast for families
0:07:07 > 0:07:11coming to terms with the suicide of a loved one.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14This week, we have our sale coming up on Saturday.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Who thinks they can make it? Julie?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19It is a safe space where people can try to make
0:07:19 > 0:07:23sense of their loss by talking to others bereaved in the same way.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- We'll be here if we can be.- OK. That's that bit sorted.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32Let's begin and welcome. Some new members around the table.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Tonight, a new family has joined the group.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Dorothy, you have to go.- Oh.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Get this massage, yeah?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Have you had the Indian head massage done before?- No.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49I have a wee oil that I would sometimes use, so the only thing is
0:07:49 > 0:07:51you will go out of here with wet hair.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54That's all right. I'll roll it back up again.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57A few characters are going to be here as well.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02We've got Batman and Robin, we have two Teletubbies.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04You can talk to me or, if you prefer,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07you just close your eyes and have a wee snooze.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- There's quite a lot in the group tonight, isn't there?- Hmm.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20I didn't think there would be many here with the weather, but...
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Roberta came up to the house after Roy died.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24She actually was out the day he died
0:08:24 > 0:08:27and she had spoke to my daughter, and she had said about the group.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Dorothy's son Roy took his life six weeks ago.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37It's just hard. Just...
0:08:37 > 0:08:41We just can't understand it, we really can't.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44No answers, no note, no nothing.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Margaret, what was I going to get there for you?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53You mean, something on the cards? Glue.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Dorothy's three daughters, Christine, Maggie and Dorothy,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59have also joined the group.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I heard Dorothy saying the other night
0:09:01 > 0:09:03she wasn't having a good day today.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07I just wonder what her mental state is like. She doesn't open up much.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10She was the one that found him.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14The images are really hard to go away.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17I don't think they will ever go away.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19From my brother committing suicide,
0:09:19 > 0:09:23just constantly paranoid about everything.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Every night, when I go to bed,
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I go around my house and tie up every blind cord,
0:09:28 > 0:09:30take away all the dressing gowns, belts,
0:09:30 > 0:09:34anything that is sitting around, anything that I think that
0:09:34 > 0:09:36you could choke yourself, or for a child.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I have never been like that. Never.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Something has to be done.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45There's too many young people losing their lives for nothing,
0:09:45 > 0:09:49so there is, over the last couple of months, that is all I've heard.
0:09:52 > 0:09:5512 referrals received in today,
0:09:55 > 0:10:00people that have presented in A&E with an overdose over the weekend,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03plus we have two clients to ring back,
0:10:03 > 0:10:05so that will be 14 in total today.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14She came to me that day, you know? I was so rude to her.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17She said she was from FASA and I answered her back with -
0:10:17 > 0:10:18I'll never forget it -
0:10:18 > 0:10:22"He's just another statistic, so what are yous doing up here?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24"Why did yous come up here?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27"Is it just making sure like another one's gone?"
0:10:29 > 0:10:32She just stood there, she didn't leave
0:10:32 > 0:10:34and she seemed genuinely upset like.
0:10:36 > 0:10:42Nothing ever prepared me for that day like and I really hope that,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45I would pray that people will never have to go through what
0:10:45 > 0:10:49I had to go through, but I know in my heart that it happens every day.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- Do you feel there is hope? - Oh, yes, there is hope.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I have hope every day that by doing what we do,
0:10:57 > 0:11:00we can begin to make a difference.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03To help people to be more understanding, be more caring,
0:11:03 > 0:11:08to help people to get back to a grassroots system where people actually
0:11:08 > 0:11:10care about their neighbour, are concerned enough to stop,
0:11:10 > 0:11:12take a few minutes and say,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15"Right. Come on over here. Let's have a bit of a yarn."
0:11:24 > 0:11:27You're struggling with that, aren't you?
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Eden Village is starting to take shape.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35And the volunteers building it are beginning to find common ground.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41- I have to paint two, you know?- Oh, dear. You're on grumpy form today.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I am not.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47June is now a regular in the furniture recycling shop.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- Smile. Go on.- Why?
0:11:50 > 0:11:55Because I don't like to see you when you are not smiling. Your wee face.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- I can't be jolly all the time, June. - You can.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03She has made friends with fellow volunteer Belle.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Stanley used to say when I got a drink in me
0:12:05 > 0:12:06I was awfully polite and I said,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10"But that's the way I was brought up."
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Did you used to drink?- I did.
0:12:13 > 0:12:18- Like a fish?- No. I don't drink now.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Through choice, I don't drink,
0:12:20 > 0:12:23because I don't like having a hangover.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Would you go cuckoo with a drink in you, or were you happy?
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Michael used to say it was like giving firewater to the Indians.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34But... Nah.
0:12:34 > 0:12:42- Yes.- Would you have been cross? - No. Grumpy? No, just wild.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- Party animal.- Were you?
0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Did you never drink, Belle? Never ever?- Yes.- You did?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49But I'm only asking you.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Did you drink much, Belle? Did you drink like a fish?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Stop copying me!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Did you drink? Did you drink right enough?- Yes.- What did you drink?
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Vodka and Coke.
0:13:01 > 0:13:07My daughter died. She had an aneurysm. That's when I was drinking.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13That's understandable, but... You know...
0:13:13 > 0:13:16I can't even imagine what that is like, you know?
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Then I just came off it as quick as...- Aye.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27My daughter, Mavis, we were never separated. We were always together.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33You seen one, you seen the other. We were very close.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- It must have been even harder on you then.- It was.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Like, I have never said that before. Never ever.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48As long as it helps you, Belle, it doesn't matter what you say
0:13:48 > 0:13:51or how you say it, only if it helps you.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53That is the important thing.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- I talk more now since you've been... - Do you think so, Belle?- Yes.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03It is probably because I'm not afraid to talk about...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Well, most of my problems. I think it helps you.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Belle is a very private person
0:14:15 > 0:14:18and for her, opening up like that,
0:14:18 > 0:14:20out of this world, it's brilliant.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Me and her get on very well.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27She has time to listen to you, you know?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29And then she has been through so much
0:14:29 > 0:14:32so she knows more what you're talking about.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I've learned how to make friends again through joking
0:14:37 > 0:14:39and laughing,
0:14:39 > 0:14:41and I'm actually healing myself.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46To me, this is better therapy than anything I have ever had.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Just be yourself. If you don't want to talk, don't talk,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54but eventually you do end up talking to somebody
0:14:54 > 0:14:59and wee stories just come out and the next thing, you realise
0:14:59 > 0:15:01you're actually talking about things that
0:15:01 > 0:15:02you couldn't talk about for years.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06It's so relaxed that sometimes your problems just come out
0:15:06 > 0:15:08without you realising it.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Brian and Davey about?
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Has anybody seen Roberta?
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Wilma, that's my tea for the night that is in there,
0:15:21 > 0:15:23which I left behind yesterday.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26So, I am going to take it tonight.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Who is here that is going... Sorry, who is not here that is going?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Anybody not here put their hand up! - HE LAUGHS
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Anybody who is not here put their hand up.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48Dorothy and her daughters are now regulars at Roberta's support group.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53Talking to other families bereaved by suicide can be a great source of comfort.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58I would say I have got over the initial shock
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and I am starting to grieve in my own way.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03I wouldn't say I am getting there,
0:16:03 > 0:16:07but I would say I am slowly getting there, slowly but surely.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I think I would've went to breaking point
0:16:09 > 0:16:12if I hadn't had met Roberta.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14But I didn't know about this group and I wouldn't have knew
0:16:14 > 0:16:16if she hadn't had came to my house,
0:16:16 > 0:16:20so I don't think I could've coped without it and that is the truth.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25It totally takes your mind off it. You see, when I go home
0:16:25 > 0:16:28on a Tuesday night, I seem to be nice and relaxed for some reason.
0:16:28 > 0:16:34Two themes will reflect the diversity within the group, OK?
0:16:34 > 0:16:39I know everyone knows what has happened, but no-one questions you
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and no-one asks you. If you want to talk about it, you talk about it.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44If you don't, you don't.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48And we are going to have a prize, OK? A prize. All right?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50This has upped the ante here.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Probably one of the things that I hear most commonly said is,
0:16:53 > 0:16:57"It was just good to know that there were other people who had been there
0:16:57 > 0:17:00"and I was able to come along and see how
0:17:00 > 0:17:04"they were actually managing to go on and to live."
0:17:04 > 0:17:08And they kind of get back to something normal in their life.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I thought this moment was supposed to bring... Boo!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15HE LAUGHS
0:17:16 > 0:17:19FASA have built a memorial garden for families to
0:17:19 > 0:17:24- remember their loved ones.- I've sort of got the job as the gardener.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27You know, I don't know why.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I don't know why I got landed with it,
0:17:29 > 0:17:31but at the moment, I don't mind gardening.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Brian joined the group two years ago
0:17:35 > 0:17:38after his daughter Charlene took her life.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42All these wee butterflies here, we painted them.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45My daughter has a butterfly, my granddaughter has
0:17:45 > 0:17:49a butterfly for her mother, and the rest of the group are the same.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51They painted these all themselves.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53That's actually my granddaughter's one.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Do you think she understood the significance?- No.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58She still doesn't understand her mother.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05She was only three, so she's still...
0:18:05 > 0:18:09She asks about her mother but she's in heaven.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14None of us want to be here but, unfortunately, the way things
0:18:14 > 0:18:20happen in life, we all come together through bereavement, you know?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23But they didn't expect this sort of bereavement.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Roberta's clients are holding a spring sale to raise funds.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38He looks really cool!
0:18:41 > 0:18:44She has got a special task for Dorothy and her daughters.
0:18:47 > 0:18:53Right, girls. Where is she? Me in this stupid hat, talking to you.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Anyhow, I will tell you what it is, you know, out in the garden
0:18:56 > 0:19:00we have all different pieces up on the walls?
0:19:00 > 0:19:04So we want to know, would you like to take this heart to mark Roy?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- Yeah, that would be great. - And then it can go up on the wall.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13- Absolutely.- So that's your part. You can do whatever you want.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15That's a blank canvas.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20- We ask that people don't put a name on it or a date.- No.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24So what they want is... Stop crying.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Here. I've got one here.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35So if we do ours and put it on there.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42- How do you get there?- I don't know. There's no answer to that.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45I have asked that question over and over and over again.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52It's good to cry.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Thanks. We're all right.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05I was trying to explain to her what this is and she got upset.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08I mean, I have moments, you know, like times.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Like on a Tuesday - he died on a Tuesday -
0:20:11 > 0:20:14a certain time on the clock, I kept looking at it and looking at it
0:20:14 > 0:20:17because I knew he was in my house at that time and then
0:20:17 > 0:20:22a couple of hours later, I look and I go, "I will never see him again."
0:20:27 > 0:20:29It is nice the way they've done it.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33You just have to live with your memories I say.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38Just remember the good times and the fun we had with him from when he was a baby.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Yeah.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57How are you doing? Morning.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Adrian is a former FASA client.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04He has just started a government Steps to Work scheme at Eden Village.
0:21:05 > 0:21:10For the next six months, he'll help bring the new sanctuary to life.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I owe a lot to FASA. I have had a second bite of the cherry.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17That's just priceless.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Adrian hasn't touched a drink for four years.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24It is his dream to work for FASA one day.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I would love to get into the line of work where I could be helping
0:21:27 > 0:21:31others with issues similar to what I went through.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35I had a daughter that died, she was seven and a half. Zoe.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I just didn't know, like a lot of people,
0:21:37 > 0:21:40I didn't know how to cope, to deal with that.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43I remember first thing in the morning, drinking,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47being sick, drinking, just drinking and drinking, you know?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51There was one time that I actually wet myself
0:21:51 > 0:21:53and I didn't even realise.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I just felt worthless.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02But just the chance of talking to a social worker,
0:22:02 > 0:22:05she actually gave me FASA's phone number.
0:22:05 > 0:22:11There are no stigmas, no labels. That really made me feel good.
0:22:11 > 0:22:17We all need help from time to time, there's no shame in that at all.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27- What would you like?- Coffee with just three sugars, please.- OK. Milk?
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Oh, yes.- Brian hasn't been at the group for nearly a month.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34See you, then. Bye.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Roberta has invited him in for a one to one chat.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Haven't seen you for a week or two.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- It's three or four weeks I haven't been down.- What's been wrong?
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- What has been happening with you? - Well, just having a bad time.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47You know, when you just...
0:22:47 > 0:22:52Brian is concerned about his granddaughter who came to live with him after her mum died.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57On Monday, I asked her, "How was school today?"
0:22:57 > 0:23:01I said, "What are you crying for?" She said, "I'm crying for my mummy."
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I said, "I was crying today too," which was true.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I was mowing the garden and I remember Charlene
0:23:06 > 0:23:09standing on the lawn mower, you know, and I was pushing her along.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12So I said, "So was I. You're allowed to cry, love."
0:23:12 > 0:23:14"All right, Grandad." And away she went.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16And that's a healthy thing.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Not to let her bottle it up, Brian, you know that.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23She's in school and I feel for her because she sees all the mummies,
0:23:23 > 0:23:27- all her wee friends and her mummy picking her up. - She's missing her mummy.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31She's missing her mummy now, more so because she's starting to get old.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I don't know what Charlene said to her before.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38I mean, nobody will ever know that. Nobody will ever know.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41She may have hugged her to bits and, "I love you, sweetheart,"
0:23:41 > 0:23:46and blah, blah, blah. I don't know. No-one will ever know that.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48My heart goes out to her.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52It seems like she is more missing her mummy
0:23:52 > 0:23:55than actually the way her mummy died.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57But, ultimately, you will be the one there
0:23:57 > 0:23:59when she is crying into her pillow at night.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02You know that there is always the group where you can come in to
0:24:02 > 0:24:07and have a chat with myself or other ones. That's your stuff, all right?
0:24:07 > 0:24:08All right, love. OK.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11I've identified some issues
0:24:11 > 0:24:17and I continue to talk on a one to one all around that issue of how
0:24:17 > 0:24:21he copes with his granddaughter facing up to the loss of her mum.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Cheerio, Brian. Thank you. Bye-bye.
0:24:30 > 0:24:36- Please.- Pretty please.- Please should be straight out of your mouth.
0:24:36 > 0:24:41- Give me a chance!- Don't be cheeky.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45- Pardon?- Pardon? - What did I do with my tobacco?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Thank you, boys. - Is there anything else?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52You should never ask Belle that question. Never, Adrian.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Building at Eden is gathering momentum.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04What we need now is another 3,200.
0:25:04 > 0:25:10- Work has now begun on the coffee shop.- Take that away a minute.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Nothing to see here. Men at work.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Upstairs, local carpenter William is donating his skills to get
0:25:17 > 0:25:19the therapy rooms up and running.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Do you want anything from the chippy? - Just a burger.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Friends of mine have been caught up
0:25:29 > 0:25:32with drugs and suicides
0:25:32 > 0:25:35and all that same type of thing, and you think there is
0:25:35 > 0:25:39nothing in life
0:25:39 > 0:25:42and you might as well end it all.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47At the time they think that's it.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52They don't realise at the time the devastation that leaves
0:25:52 > 0:25:58the families. The heartache that is left behind goes a lot deeper.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02A lifetime would not erase it.
0:26:02 > 0:26:08So it is getting a message out that there is help. If we can pass
0:26:08 > 0:26:12that on, if that helps one person or one family,
0:26:12 > 0:26:15well, I feel it is worth it, you know?
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Adrian has started working alongside Brian who also struggles with
0:26:29 > 0:26:31alcohol abuse.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34He has just started a journey of recovery with FASA
0:26:34 > 0:26:36and has been sober for ten days.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I thought it was going to be a damn sight easier than what it is.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45- It does take time. - I want to change. I have to.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Exactly, because what I discovered is, there is
0:26:48 > 0:26:53so much to go on for, Brian. And I've realised that,
0:26:53 > 0:26:56with my family and life and doing something with it,
0:26:56 > 0:26:59so don't be getting frustrated.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I need to get that in perspective and say,
0:27:01 > 0:27:04"Start from here," and just move on with it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07- Whatever has happened has happened. - Absolutely.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11It's the old saying about making the best of a situation.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13It can be done.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Draw a line in the sand.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Morning. Morning, Brian.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23What gave you the strength to come here?
0:27:23 > 0:27:27What made you walk in them gates that day?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I remember you coming in like.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32I was very nervous and sheepish, I think.
0:27:32 > 0:27:37As we all were when we came.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40I just said, "I can't keep going on," the way I was like.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45- And the way I am.- Yeah. - Nobody judges down here. That's the good thing about here.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Everybody has had problems and they know
0:27:48 > 0:27:51they have been judged themselves, so they are not going to judge.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54I think that helps you talk.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Sometimes you have to tell the truth and that's what I am doing now,
0:27:57 > 0:27:58telling the truth. I'm 38 now
0:27:58 > 0:28:02and I have drunk pretty much for 30 years.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Two or three times... You see the nail guns? She had a bad temper.
0:28:06 > 0:28:12I just, bang! Straight through. But then if you drink, you didn't care.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15I'm not that stupid now.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18I think maybe I started to wise up a wee bit.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21That's the start of your recovery.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24You're starting to talk about your past and, you know, talking
0:28:24 > 0:28:30to your partner and things like that and it all will come together.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33The thing is, you see Sharon? Sharon needs help now.
0:28:33 > 0:28:38Because she is basically at the end of her rope.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42She keeps saying to me, "Yeah, you're sorting your problems out.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45"What about mine?" I think, for Sharon, it'd be good to talk to you
0:28:45 > 0:28:50- because she needs somebody other than myself.- Tell her to come down.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54I wouldn't have a problem talking to her, Brian, at all. Honestly.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02There's got to be an easier way of putting these in.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- You're Brian's partner, yes? - I am she.- Take a wee seat.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12- Do you want to sit in that soft seat? - I can take a soft seat any day of the week.
0:29:12 > 0:29:17Brian has persuaded Sharon to drop in with June for a chat.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21- Did you get support?- No.- Nothing?
0:29:21 > 0:29:24- You've just been struggling on your own?- Mm-hm.
0:29:24 > 0:29:30But as a partner of someone who has an addiction, you have to cope.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32But you do have to look after yourself.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33I think that's important.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37I should be thinking just about getting Brian back on his feet.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40No, you shouldn't because you can't spend your whole life trying
0:29:40 > 0:29:42to make him better. It doesn't work like that.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44You have to have your own life.
0:29:44 > 0:29:50There was one time I was trying to help him up onto the settee
0:29:50 > 0:29:53and I got a kick in the eye for me efforts.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57The next morning, "How did that happen?" I said, "You kicked me."
0:29:57 > 0:29:58"I didn't, you're telling lies."
0:29:58 > 0:30:00I said, "Brian, I didn't do this to myself."
0:30:00 > 0:30:05- Yeah.- "That's how much you've drank, you don't know what you're doing."
0:30:05 > 0:30:08I got to the stage the other day
0:30:08 > 0:30:12- and all I could do was lie in the bed and cry.- Yeah.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16And then you screw a smile on your face when you go out the door.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18That's true, you do. You do.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Come down here any time.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23You don't have to come down and do anything.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26Come down and sit, have a yarn or just come down and sit.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30You know, you'll maybe look at something
0:30:30 > 0:30:34and you'll say, "I wouldn't mind doing that," and away you go.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36That's just the way it happens.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Hi. Is Jill there? Chris is in the waiting room for her.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48All right, thank you, bye.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Monday is my busiest time because
0:30:53 > 0:30:56you get a lot of people drink a lot at the weekend
0:30:56 > 0:30:59and they think that they want to end their life.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01So they end up in hospital, and then
0:31:01 > 0:31:04obviously the hospitals would
0:31:04 > 0:31:07ask them to get in touch with us and things like that.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09- PHONE RINGS - Excuse me.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Hello. FASA. Michelle speaking.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18- I want to hari-kari.- You don't.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22Can somebody answer the phone, please? It should be Sam up there.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29Good afternoon. FASA.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Brian has relapsed.
0:31:33 > 0:31:38He's having an emergency meeting with Sam, a FASA recovery worker
0:31:38 > 0:31:41who's on hand for more intensive support when needed.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45- The endgame's to give up the drink...- Yeah.- ..completely,
0:31:45 > 0:31:48that's the endgame but I have no idea how long that takes, you know.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50What do you think you need to do, then?
0:31:50 > 0:31:53I think I need to cut out spirits.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57- Just for my sanity.- Hmm. - It's for Sharon's sanity and all.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01- I just want to have a normal life. - Yeah. If you notice any triggers
0:32:01 > 0:32:04that you feel like you are going to need a drink,
0:32:04 > 0:32:06you can come here and talk to us. If there's anything at all
0:32:06 > 0:32:09- we can do to help support you... - See the best thing for me
0:32:09 > 0:32:12- is just to keep coming down here, working away.- Yeah.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14It's just changing the time of something,
0:32:14 > 0:32:17but I think there's something else that's maybe happened
0:32:17 > 0:32:19that's eating at him.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21- How much are your keyboards? - Do you want a bag?
0:32:21 > 0:32:24- No, don't worry about a bag. I don't need a bag.- Is that lavender?
0:32:24 > 0:32:26I don't need a bag.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29I think he just needs a wee bit more help.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32But he's clearly opened up since he come here.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35- With June.- Aye. - Because she is good with him.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38- He'll get there.- He'll get there.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Wherever there is, he'll get there.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46- Right, cheerio.- Cheerio.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- What's wrong with it?- Push the handle up.- Push the handle up.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56It's not rocket science.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06See when we die, Davy, who's going to do this?
0:33:06 > 0:33:09- I'm sure there'll be somebody. - No, it'll die with us.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16Right, girly, is that young Dorothy, yes? Hi, I knew your wee voice.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18And you're doing OK yourself?
0:33:18 > 0:33:19Yeah? All right.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Roberta is checking in with Dorothy and her daughters.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28I was, I was ringing her there and it's not answering.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31They haven't been at the group for the past few weeks.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35Right, that's OK. It would lift her to get out with everybody as well,
0:33:35 > 0:33:37so it would, give her a bit of a laugh.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40OK, bye-bye. Speak soon.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Bye-bye, love. Bye.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48Well, it's in very early stages.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51They're still finalising and facing a lot of the bills
0:33:51 > 0:33:54and, you know, the stuff around the funeral
0:33:54 > 0:33:56and settling accounts and stuff like that.
0:33:56 > 0:34:01It's still very much early days for them 'uns.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04I often think, people say, you know,
0:34:04 > 0:34:07the first year there's all the milestones - first birthday,
0:34:07 > 0:34:10first anniversary, there's the first Easter, first Christmas,
0:34:10 > 0:34:13you know, first summer holiday without them,
0:34:13 > 0:34:15and they are important milestones
0:34:15 > 0:34:18but yet I hear families saying time and time again
0:34:18 > 0:34:20the second year was even harder,
0:34:20 > 0:34:22and I think it's the absence of those milestones.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28That realisation hit in the second year that this was it,
0:34:28 > 0:34:31it was final, and that they weren't coming back,
0:34:31 > 0:34:33they weren't going to be there.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36OK, everybody, come on in here.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Just to give thanks, just as a wee celebration of life,
0:34:40 > 0:34:44for everybody that we know in our hearts, where we have a wee name.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48And just to remember them as they were.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50On this lovely summer's evening,
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- when they'd have been happy and laughing.- Bye!
0:34:53 > 0:34:54PEOPLE CLAP
0:34:54 > 0:34:56It's on fire!
0:34:56 > 0:34:58- 1.99!- Where would you get good ones?
0:34:58 > 0:34:59We'll get some.
0:34:59 > 0:35:03Them Chinese people are not making them the way they used to.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20Brian's back on track, working alongside Adrian again.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24Thing I haven't had in years, I don't think I ever had,
0:35:24 > 0:35:26is actually a wee bit of hope for the future.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28About there for a window.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34'I relapse many times, but on the way, I've learnt from it.
0:35:34 > 0:35:39'There was something different about the relapse every time.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42'You really have to start digging deeper and deeper
0:35:42 > 0:35:45'in order to come through the other side.'
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Viv's up there.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51PHONE RINGS
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Hello, FASA Ballywalter.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Sharon's taken June's advice and is getting a taste of Eden for the day.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Right, thanks very much. Thank you. Bye-bye.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Can I do anything to help?
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Certainly, if you want you can get a brush and stain the chair there,
0:36:09 > 0:36:11varnish the chair.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13Yous have done a lovely job on this.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16Aye, it's nice, isn't it?
0:36:16 > 0:36:18- Am I doing this all right?- Yeah.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23If you'd heard what I came off with on Friday at the crocheting
0:36:23 > 0:36:28and everybody started laughing at it - "My holes are too big."
0:36:28 > 0:36:30THEY GIGGLE
0:36:30 > 0:36:34You know, when you're crocheting, between your wee three shells.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Denise near had that problem last night!
0:36:39 > 0:36:42All I said was, "My holes are too big."
0:36:42 > 0:36:44And the woman beside me says,
0:36:44 > 0:36:47"You know you can get an operation to fix that?"
0:36:47 > 0:36:51- Get a couple of stitches.- A couple of crocheting stitches?- Aye!
0:36:51 > 0:36:52THEY LAUGH
0:36:55 > 0:36:56Yous two all right?
0:36:56 > 0:36:59I don't know if we'll ever be all right again.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10Work on the cafe has finally finished.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15I promise I'll not drop them.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19- I'm sure you'll get one later. - Aye, if there's any left, maybe!
0:37:19 > 0:37:21I'm only moving this over.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24After months of hard graft by clients and volunteers,
0:37:24 > 0:37:26the doors are officially open.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28- You're open now. That's it.- Yeah.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33And that looks nice, like, it is lovely.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37This looks like somebody came in and fitted it out.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39It shows you what people power can do.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43The Ards Peninsula now has a pioneering new sanctuary.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47It's becoming like a home from home, nearly, where it's like something
0:37:47 > 0:37:51from years ago where everybody all created stuff,
0:37:51 > 0:37:54and maybe that's a wee bit of what we need to get back to as well,
0:37:54 > 0:37:56maybe life's too fast.
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Some of FASA's staff have cleared their diaries
0:37:58 > 0:38:00to help out for the day.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03It's lovely to see what they've achieved, you know.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06I think it's gone beyond what anybody's expectations were.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08It's brilliant.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11You come in here, you don't know if you're a staff member,
0:38:11 > 0:38:15a member of the public, whether you're a volunteer, a service user.
0:38:15 > 0:38:19It's such an amazing environment for people recovering
0:38:19 > 0:38:23because nobody knows, and nobody really cares either,
0:38:23 > 0:38:26they're just getting on, treating everybody the same.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Absolutely wonderful. And you haven't stopped today.
0:38:29 > 0:38:35Former FASA clients have also dropped in to show their support.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38You really deserve that, the whole lot of yous, cos you're brilliant.
0:38:38 > 0:38:42- Thank you.- Absolutely brilliant. Couldn't say enough, Anne.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- Couldn't say enough. - You're an amazing person too.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49- Well, love, no, I'm not an amazing person at all.- You really are.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51- You really are.- No, I'm not.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I just found the right people at the right time.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Sandra is a former nurse.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01She became depressed when she retired and took an overdose.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03'People look on attempted suicide
0:39:03 > 0:39:07'or suicide, as people who are not all there'
0:39:07 > 0:39:09but you are all there.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11It's just a matter of your thinking becomes twisted.
0:39:11 > 0:39:17I know that I could go into FASA at any time and say, "I need to talk to somebody,"
0:39:17 > 0:39:19and that, to me, is absolutely fantastic.
0:39:23 > 0:39:24- See you later.- See you later.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27The main key issue here is that
0:39:27 > 0:39:30if somebody walks in here and sits there all day
0:39:30 > 0:39:33because they're isolated at home, they feel alone,
0:39:33 > 0:39:37they don't have family or they don't know how to get out,
0:39:37 > 0:39:39I would love them to sit there all day, and then
0:39:39 > 0:39:43somehow our staff will pick or tie in with them and pick up with them.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47There's so much activity there, so this is a way of engagement.
0:39:47 > 0:39:48Thank you.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54PHONE RINGS
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Good afternoon, FASA, Mona speaking. How may I help you?
0:39:59 > 0:40:00OK.
0:40:01 > 0:40:06Right. Is it in relation to substance abuse or is he...?
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Mental health issues as well?
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Drug-related, yeah.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Cocaine, mephedrone and cannabis.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17We can take a referral from you
0:40:17 > 0:40:20to get him linked in with FASA's services.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23I'll pass that on to one of the team and ask them to give her a call.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25OK? Thank you. Thanks, bye-bye.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33- You hold my bookie for me, baby?- Mm-hmm.- Thank you.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36FASA's preparing for World Suicide Prevention Day,
0:40:36 > 0:40:39an annual event held across the globe.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44I could leave it in there.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49Is there a badge in the window?
0:40:49 > 0:40:54Roberta is chairing the steering group for this year's Belfast event.
0:40:54 > 0:40:58- Hello!- Hi.- Hello, hello, everybody.- How are yous?
0:40:59 > 0:41:01The aim is to raise awareness,
0:41:01 > 0:41:05as well as remember loved ones who have died in the past.
0:41:05 > 0:41:09Our families are beginning to feel that it's not doing what it said.
0:41:09 > 0:41:14It's a private memorial service for those people that have been bereaved,
0:41:14 > 0:41:16and I think we have missed, somewhere along the line,
0:41:16 > 0:41:20the element of raising the awareness to the people who are not affected
0:41:20 > 0:41:23because nobody knows tomorrow who may become affected,
0:41:23 > 0:41:27- and we all know that, sitting here, sadly.- Everybody should be included.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30You don't have to be bereaved by suicide, you know.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32- You're there to prevent it.- Yes.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34'So breaking down those barriers and'
0:41:34 > 0:41:36those stigmas around mental health
0:41:36 > 0:41:40and around suicide is what World Suicide Prevention Day aims to do,
0:41:40 > 0:41:43and to say, you know, "You haven't been affected by this issue,
0:41:43 > 0:41:47"and I hope you will never be, but if you are, how will you cope with it?"
0:41:47 > 0:41:51Or if you're faced with a family member or a loved one in crisis
0:41:51 > 0:41:52and they need help and support,
0:41:52 > 0:41:54who will you turn to and where will you go?
0:41:54 > 0:41:57- All right, love.- Take care. - See you again.- You too.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01In the months ahead, the steering group have agreed to meet regularly
0:42:01 > 0:42:04to plan an event that will meet everyone's needs.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06- All right, thank you.- Cheerio.- Bye.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Have you had any previous history of suicide attempts?
0:42:18 > 0:42:20When was the last time you done that?
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Right.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28Have you ever heard of Lifeline?
0:42:28 > 0:42:30What happens is, if we're closed,
0:42:30 > 0:42:34they're open 24, you know, 24/7, basically,
0:42:34 > 0:42:36and we work basically nine to five,
0:42:36 > 0:42:41and then if you are ever in, like it was last night,
0:42:41 > 0:42:44you're going to need help after hours.
0:42:44 > 0:42:48So can you actually go and get a pen now? And I'll give you that number.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55With Eden Village now up and running,
0:42:55 > 0:42:59Anne has turned her attention to a new pioneering initiative.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02Morning, chickadees!
0:43:04 > 0:43:06Adrian, I need to speak to you.
0:43:07 > 0:43:12It's bad! It's really bad, you've been such a bad boy, Adrian.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16I'm only joking you.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19Anne wants June and Adrian to be part of it.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23You know the way in Northern Ireland at the minute there's no place
0:43:23 > 0:43:28if somebody was really at risk of suicide or had thoughts of suicide
0:43:28 > 0:43:31or felt really emotional during the night,
0:43:31 > 0:43:34there's nowhere to go other than go to an A&E, hospital,
0:43:34 > 0:43:37so we were thinking of opening overnight
0:43:37 > 0:43:40from nine at night to nine the next morning.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43FASA is hoping to open an overnight crisis centre
0:43:43 > 0:43:45for people feeling suicidal.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48If they can get the funding and somewhere to house it,
0:43:48 > 0:43:51it will be the first of its kind in Northern Ireland.
0:43:51 > 0:43:54We would like people to be in it, not just staff to staff it,
0:43:54 > 0:43:56but we think that what would be good,
0:43:56 > 0:43:59it's people who have been through problems in their own lives
0:43:59 > 0:44:00who help staff it.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03I just wanted to see, would you like to be involved with it?
0:44:03 > 0:44:05Yeah.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08You don't have to ask me that.
0:44:08 > 0:44:13We were talking to June, saying she'd be happy to help out too.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16I would just love to help somebody else.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19So that is nearly people going to the next level.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22To me, that would still be a stepping stone for me,
0:44:22 > 0:44:26because it would be helping me, making me feel worthy, almost.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29People who have been through it themselves are the experts
0:44:29 > 0:44:32in helping other people do things like that.
0:44:32 > 0:44:34Makes it easier for the person to talk to you,
0:44:34 > 0:44:36because they don't have to try and find the words
0:44:36 > 0:44:38to explain what's wrong with them.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40- Ordinary people helping ordinary people.- Yeah.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44- No stigmas, no anything. - Nothing.- Yeah.
0:44:44 > 0:44:49It's amazing the benefit somebody can get just by talking to somebody.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52- So you're happy to be involved? - Oh, aye.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56Will do. You're a good soul.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00- Thank you.- Good. - You're a good soul, you really are.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03- Happy days.- Happy days indeed. - We're going onwards and upwards.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06See you later.
0:45:07 > 0:45:11- Thank you.- I have tissues there.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15It's just seeing his face, you know, it's what he's been looking for.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17What's wrong with me?
0:45:19 > 0:45:21But that's a bit about you too.
0:45:21 > 0:45:24This is what you've been looking for.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28- It is, aye, it is. Very much, I think it is.- Aye.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31You are at a different place than where you were before.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34- When you came in first, you were very meek.- Aye.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Even in how you presented yourself.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42I had no confidence at all, and I have a bit of confidence now,
0:45:42 > 0:45:47- and I'm actually encouraging myself to get more confident.- Yeah.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49You know, telling myself that I can do it.
0:45:49 > 0:45:52Definitely, it's changed my life.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Definitely.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03There are only a handful of overnight crisis centres in the UK.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Anne has brought June and Adrian to visit one in Manchester.
0:46:08 > 0:46:13- Hello.- Hello. How are you? - Good, how are you?- Hi, I'm Anne.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16- Come in. - Oh, lovely and cosy and warm!
0:46:17 > 0:46:20The staff is made up from professionals
0:46:20 > 0:46:22and people in recovery.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26- Can I get anyone drinks?- Oh, yes, please. Coffee.- Coffees, teas.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30- Thank you.- No, you're all right, sit down for a bit.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34There we go. Lovely.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37PHONE RINGS
0:46:37 > 0:46:42Hello, good evening, The Sanctuary. Ali speaking. Hello.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45Try not to get too upset, now.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48You're not a failure at all.
0:46:48 > 0:46:52Do you want my honest opinion on that?
0:46:52 > 0:46:55I don't think you should try and do it on your own.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59I think we all need a little bit of help somewhere along the line.
0:46:59 > 0:47:05It's quite frightening. That woman just fell into it so naturally.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08You haven't had any training.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10(No, well, that's what I'm saying.)
0:47:10 > 0:47:12- But you haven't had any training yet.- Oh, right.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15If yous were trained, yous could take the phone calls,
0:47:15 > 0:47:16do you know what I mean?
0:47:16 > 0:47:19And if you felt that there was something there that was a bump,
0:47:19 > 0:47:22you still have your coordinator, your support worker there,
0:47:22 > 0:47:27- and you'll learn it as you go, and you're not on your own.- I know.
0:47:27 > 0:47:31But it is about getting the skills in the first place.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33BUZZER RINGS
0:47:33 > 0:47:35Was that your wee front door?
0:47:35 > 0:47:39As the night wears on, a man calls in crisis.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43The Sanctuary workers intervene in an attempt to keep him safe.
0:47:43 > 0:47:47It's not somewhere for someone to come and just sleep it off.
0:47:47 > 0:47:51It's about working with them to put them in a better place so that
0:47:51 > 0:47:54it doesn't end up whether at A&E or in a police cell
0:47:54 > 0:47:57or taking their own life.
0:47:58 > 0:48:02How do you feel, you know, helping other people?
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Perfect job, man. It's lovely.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07You know, I used to drink a lot and I lost a lot of jobs
0:48:07 > 0:48:10and I thought, "Well, that's all wasted now."
0:48:10 > 0:48:15I wasted, like, 15, 20 years of my life, do you know what I mean?
0:48:15 > 0:48:19Just struggling, but when I saw that I could use that experience,
0:48:19 > 0:48:21that knowledge, it's a benefit now.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Do you know what I mean? I can tell other people.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26That's very, very important
0:48:26 > 0:48:29because you think that you're the only one in the world out there
0:48:29 > 0:48:32and nobody cares and there's nobody to talk to.
0:48:32 > 0:48:35I didn't know who to talk to. It was just by chance this here happened.
0:48:35 > 0:48:39It would be really exciting if you can get something up and running,
0:48:39 > 0:48:41because it is a massive... You know,
0:48:41 > 0:48:44we do expect people to be poorly nine to five, Monday to Friday.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49- Just bollocks, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:49:03 > 0:49:08- June, are you going to do anything? - No. I'm on strike.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11Just thought there'd be a conversation with you.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14I'm stressed, I'm stressed, I'm stressed.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18June's depression has resurfaced.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24I haven't really had too many bad days from I've been here,
0:49:24 > 0:49:27I think probably because my mind's more occupied,
0:49:27 > 0:49:30but I'm sort of having a bad day today,
0:49:30 > 0:49:34and I'm not getting peace to have a bad day, if that makes any sense.
0:49:35 > 0:49:38It's very, very hard to put into words.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41But normally I wouldn't bother putting it into words,
0:49:41 > 0:49:45I would just clear off and go to bed and don't deal with it.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Just do the other side.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52What does that look like? Is that any better looking?
0:49:52 > 0:49:54I think it looks good.
0:49:55 > 0:50:00Belle does help me, but I just need to work a few things out in my head,
0:50:00 > 0:50:02where I'm at the minute, and...
0:50:03 > 0:50:06I suppose nobody can do that, only me.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09I felt like going home a couple of times today,
0:50:09 > 0:50:11but I'm going to stick it out.
0:50:12 > 0:50:13And try harder.
0:50:16 > 0:50:21- Sit down here. We have to sit down to get this organised.- Me?
0:50:21 > 0:50:23Yes, because there's different...
0:50:23 > 0:50:26That's yours, with one sugar. That's a strong coffee.
0:50:31 > 0:50:35By the time her daughter Megan drops in for a weekly visit,
0:50:35 > 0:50:37she's feeling better.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41I was a bit stressed today. My head's sore, but I'm all right now.
0:50:41 > 0:50:44All the better for seeing you.
0:50:44 > 0:50:48I was telling Belle that the way I used to deal with my problems
0:50:48 > 0:50:51- was just go to bed, take diazepam...- Yeah.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54..and cover my head with a duvet.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57I didn't deal with them at all,
0:50:57 > 0:51:01so I'm trying now to deal with it instead of just blocking it out.
0:51:01 > 0:51:05- I get upset when we start talking about stuff like that.- Do you?- Yeah.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07- Why, love?- Because.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Did you have a bad childhood with me?
0:51:09 > 0:51:13- I don't think it was bad.- I didn't want you to be unhappy, love.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15I wasn't unhappy.
0:51:15 > 0:51:20I wasn't unhappy. I just remember the things that weren't nice.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23There's things that I don't understand why you did them,
0:51:23 > 0:51:27but I don't think I ever will understand why you did them.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29Do you want to ask me?
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Maybe it'll help you, too, love.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34When you were, like, when you did...things,
0:51:34 > 0:51:36was that you trying to deal with it?
0:51:36 > 0:51:38- You mean trying to kill myself?- Yes.
0:51:38 > 0:51:42No, that... I believed that
0:51:42 > 0:51:45yous would be happier if I wasn't here.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49Come on, love, don't. We'll not talk about it. It's OK.
0:51:55 > 0:51:56It's OK.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01- We'll not talk about it.- I can't.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06Don't be getting upset, love.
0:52:08 > 0:52:12No-one ever offered me any help, like, when I was growing up.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16Exactly. Well, that's what FASA's about. It helps everybody.
0:52:16 > 0:52:20You don't have to have a problem to come here.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23You could be a family member of somebody that has a problem
0:52:23 > 0:52:26and you don't understand it, unless you've been through it.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Yeah, that's what I'm trying to...
0:52:28 > 0:52:31- I don't think that other people ever will understand.- No.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34- I think it's more about coming to terms with it.- That's right.
0:52:34 > 0:52:38- As long as you know that I'm in a better place now.- Yeah.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40I'm in a good place now.
0:52:41 > 0:52:45And I just want you to be happy and have a good, normal life.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50Well, as normal as you can be.
0:52:54 > 0:52:55That's a girl.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03You're my love.
0:53:03 > 0:53:05That's a good girl. All right?
0:53:05 > 0:53:08'I couldn't help what was going on. I was sick.'
0:53:08 > 0:53:12And it's because it's like a hidden illness,
0:53:12 > 0:53:14it's so hard to explain to people.
0:53:14 > 0:53:19When you're in your right mind, you're thinking logically,
0:53:19 > 0:53:22but to me, I was thinking logically.
0:53:22 > 0:53:27It was only as I got better, I realised I actually wasn't,
0:53:27 > 0:53:30I was being illogical, saying, you know, "You're better off dead."
0:53:30 > 0:53:35- Mm-hmm.- But I know, as a mother myself now, if your child done that,
0:53:35 > 0:53:38that's not the fact, you know.
0:53:38 > 0:53:42Everybody doesn't live happy ever after and have a better life and...
0:53:43 > 0:53:45You know, but...
0:53:45 > 0:53:48- You see that now?- Yeah. Yeah.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50People really need to know that, you know?
0:53:54 > 0:53:57OK, folks, we have loads of activities
0:53:57 > 0:54:00and it's all for World Suicide Prevention Day.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02MUSIC
0:54:02 > 0:54:05FASA and the other agencies have organised a carnival
0:54:05 > 0:54:07on the front lawn at Belfast City Hall
0:54:07 > 0:54:10for World Suicide Prevention Day.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13'Life is about ups and downs,
0:54:13 > 0:54:16'and today, hopefully, is one of the up days.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21'For most of them, it will be another wee leg on the journey of recovery.'
0:54:22 > 0:54:26Charlene is always in my head. Charlene never leaves me.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30She done it and there was a reason why she done it.
0:54:30 > 0:54:31Why'd she not come and talk to me
0:54:31 > 0:54:35or talk to her mother or rung her friends?
0:54:35 > 0:54:36I tried my best.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41MUSIC: "Someone Like You" by Adele
0:54:43 > 0:54:47- SINGS ALONG: - # I heard that you're settled down
0:54:47 > 0:54:50# That you've found a girl... #
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Why?
0:54:52 > 0:54:53Party away games.
0:54:53 > 0:54:57'But I will never get answers, never.'
0:54:57 > 0:55:02So I have to just learn that he's in a better place and he's happy.
0:55:02 > 0:55:04So...
0:55:04 > 0:55:05Sorry.
0:55:05 > 0:55:09I do expect that the families will be emotional,
0:55:09 > 0:55:13but I also know that they're growing resilience
0:55:13 > 0:55:16in each and every one of them,
0:55:16 > 0:55:20and that they'll go on beyond today with a lovely memory.
0:55:20 > 0:55:24I think he's looking down on us. I think he'd be very proud of us.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28We just have to take each step at a time to get there,
0:55:28 > 0:55:32and we will get there and remember him with pride.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36# ..But sometimes it hurts instead
0:55:36 > 0:55:39# Oh, sometimes it lasts in love
0:55:39 > 0:55:43# But sometimes it hurts instead
0:55:43 > 0:55:44# Yes... #
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Ladies and gentlemen, the Adele tribute. Would yous join me
0:55:47 > 0:55:50and give yourselves a big round of applause!
0:55:50 > 0:55:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:55:51 > 0:55:52Thank you!
0:56:05 > 0:56:08- See you later, Belle.- See you later.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13FASA has found a building in Belfast
0:56:13 > 0:56:16for the overnight crisis centre it's hoping to open.
0:56:18 > 0:56:24June and Adrian have been invited to view it, along with FASA staff.
0:56:24 > 0:56:26- Hi.- How are you?- Just want me to show you around, then?
0:56:26 > 0:56:29- A wee guided tour would be great. - All right. OK.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34'I think now because they've got that opportunity
0:56:34 > 0:56:36'wee doubts are coming over me.'
0:56:36 > 0:56:38Can I do this?
0:56:40 > 0:56:41Hello.
0:56:41 > 0:56:46But you can't be swallowed up by thinking like that all the time.
0:56:46 > 0:56:50It's keeping that positive focus,
0:56:50 > 0:56:52which is very, very important.
0:56:52 > 0:56:57So, what we were thinking was, if people present at A&E or wherever,
0:56:57 > 0:57:00they can come here and it'll be like a safe place for people to go.
0:57:00 > 0:57:03And there is, even though it's an office place at the minute,
0:57:03 > 0:57:05it's quite homely, isn't it?
0:57:05 > 0:57:07- There is a homely feel, isn't there?- Aye, there is.
0:57:07 > 0:57:13'It's surreal that somebody puts so much faith and trust in you.'
0:57:13 > 0:57:18It's just a life of hard knocks that has brought me here
0:57:18 > 0:57:22and that's what's pushing me forward,
0:57:22 > 0:57:26and helping me to understand other people going through the same thing.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29It's fantastic, it's just...
0:57:32 > 0:57:34SHE SIGHS AND LAUGHS
0:57:35 > 0:57:38The more you have a relationship with somebody,
0:57:38 > 0:57:41the more you can impact on their behaviours or their confidence
0:57:41 > 0:57:43or their self-esteem.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46- Great.- Do you want to see anywhere else or are yous happy enough?
0:57:46 > 0:57:48No, that's great. That's excellent.
0:57:49 > 0:57:54You just want to go now. You just want to start helping people.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58- INTERVIEWER: - How rewarding is the work?
0:57:58 > 0:58:02It's just about living and helping people. And...
0:58:03 > 0:58:06We're all on a journey, we're just at different places.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14PHONE RINGS
0:58:18 > 0:58:20Hello, FASA, Michelle speaking.