At the Crossroads

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0:00:10 > 0:00:16These long streets are at the heart of the predominantly Catholic area of Ardoyne in north Belfast.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22Many of the children here go to the Holy Cross primary school.

0:00:22 > 0:00:27The walk there takes them through the neighbouring Protestant Glenbryn estate.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31It's been an area of sectarian tension for generations.

0:00:31 > 0:00:3710 years ago, when they returned to school for the new year, this happened:

0:00:37 > 0:00:39EXPLOSIONS, CRYING

0:00:43 > 0:00:45You're OK, love.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51'It was like a battlefield'

0:00:51 > 0:00:56only instead of adults involved it was children.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58You're fucking dead!

0:01:00 > 0:01:07I used to sit and question myself - am I doing the right thing bringing my kids up that road?

0:01:07 > 0:01:09They're not meant to walk up!

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Who the fuck are you pushing, you fat bastard?

0:01:13 > 0:01:16'All I remember is noise.'

0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's like a giant crowd in my head.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Fenian bastards!

0:01:21 > 0:01:25'She was terrified and because they're young girls'

0:01:25 > 0:01:28they didn't do anything wrong.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32'People say, "Get over it. It was 10 years ago."'

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Fair enough, but I'm still angry.

0:01:39 > 0:01:4210 years after the Holy Cross dispute, we've returned to Ardoyne

0:01:42 > 0:01:46to meet some of the mothers and daughters caught up in it.

0:01:48 > 0:01:54How have the events affected their lives and relationships? What are they doing now?

0:01:54 > 0:01:58And has the protest defined how they view the world around them?

0:01:58 > 0:02:01SHOUTS, WHISTLES, HORNS BLARE

0:02:14 > 0:02:18The Holy Cross protests made headlines worldwide.

0:02:21 > 0:02:27The confrontations flared on the back of other quarrels on this road, such as one about flags.

0:02:31 > 0:02:37These four mothers were among dozens who led their daughters through the lines of police and army

0:02:37 > 0:02:40every weekday for three months.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46I'm Tracy Campbell. My daughter is Sarah Jane.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Sarah Jane was 9 years old during the Holy Cross protest.

0:02:52 > 0:02:58We didn't really talk about it at that time. That was probably our way of coping with it.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00We didn't watch it on television.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03And I didn't buy newspapers.

0:03:03 > 0:03:09So coping with it, I think, was held back in our house.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16It made me feel like, "I don't want to be a part of this.

0:03:16 > 0:03:22"I don't want my life bitter at someone because of their religion."

0:03:22 > 0:03:27It's just made me want to be a better person because of it, more than anything.

0:03:43 > 0:03:49I'm Angie Boyle. This is my daughter Helen. Helen was 10 during the ordeal.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55I didn't really expect adults to ever get on like that.

0:03:55 > 0:04:02You always assumed they knew where to draw the line, but apparently not. It was very shocking.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05We were faced with a wall of hatred

0:04:05 > 0:04:08that we couldn't understand.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11There's never been Sinn Fein...

0:04:11 > 0:04:16We always talked about, you know, the whole effect of it.

0:04:16 > 0:04:21I was trying to help Helen not be bitter.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25- It's easy to get bitter. - It didn't work!

0:04:25 > 0:04:29Aww, she's not bitter at all, but, em...

0:04:29 > 0:04:32What does bitter mean?

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- You know?- I'm not forgetful.

0:04:34 > 0:04:40- Yeah...- So I'm not going to let it go because it happened in the past. Do you know what I mean?

0:04:40 > 0:04:47I don't think it should ever have happened and if you bring it up I'll still be angry about it,

0:04:47 > 0:04:53- but I don't walk around every day with a dark cloud over my head thinking, "Oh!"- "I'm the victim."

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Just walk straight on!

0:05:01 > 0:05:06I'm Lynda Bowes. My daughter is Amanda. Amanda was 9 during the Holy Cross protest.

0:05:06 > 0:05:11I still don't know if I protected her enough.

0:05:15 > 0:05:20Looking back, should you have just took her out? I don't know.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24My heart says, "You were OK."

0:05:26 > 0:05:29And at the time I was there, but...

0:05:30 > 0:05:3410 years down the line and I wonder. If I seen that on TV,

0:05:34 > 0:05:42who in their right mind would do that? Who would take their daughter through that every day for 3 months?

0:05:48 > 0:05:53She's got nothing to forgive herself for. There's...

0:05:54 > 0:05:57It's... She did nothing wrong.

0:05:57 > 0:06:01If anything, she's taught me to stand up for what you believe in.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04I mean, she went through so much.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06I never seen it.

0:06:06 > 0:06:13It was only until after years and I sort of asked her. You see photographs in the paper and that.

0:06:14 > 0:06:20So I've seen what she went through and I was like, "I don't understand why you're so ashamed..."

0:06:20 > 0:06:25She wasn't ashamed, but she felt so guilty. I never understood why.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27SHOUTING ABUSE

0:06:36 > 0:06:41I'm Elaine Burns and my daughter Leona was 7 years old during the Holy Cross protest.

0:06:43 > 0:06:50Every day you were taking your children through that traumatic experience. Trauma upon trauma.

0:06:50 > 0:06:56The world should see that those people tried to murder babies this morning.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01I knew there was going to be psychological damage

0:07:01 > 0:07:06or emotional damage done and I could see that.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10But I had to weigh that against the right to go to school.

0:07:16 > 0:07:24Walking there, I had no idea as to why they were objecting to us walking to school.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27I had no idea at all. Just...

0:07:27 > 0:07:29I didn't know anything about it.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Em...

0:07:32 > 0:07:34They just seemed very angry.

0:07:34 > 0:07:39- Don't get up here ever!- Aye, you're hard with the RUC round you.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Yes, the RUC!

0:07:45 > 0:07:51The whole experience of Holy Cross has had a major impact on the lives of these mothers and daughters.

0:07:51 > 0:07:57The past 10 years have seen much change, so what does the future hold for them all?

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Ardoyne is a nationalist area of 7,000 people.

0:08:09 > 0:08:17It's long been defined by outsiders by its problems - poverty, crime and sectarian conflict.

0:08:18 > 0:08:25Elaine Burns is a community worker, one of the most outspoken parents during the Holy Cross protests.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29She received death threats at the time of Holy Cross.

0:08:33 > 0:08:38- So your mummy's are all sold then? - Yes, there's just £60 there.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41I'll get her ticked off my wee list.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45- And then you let me know how yours go.- Yeah.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47And what about doing the door?

0:08:47 > 0:08:53Her way of dealing with Holy Cross 10 years on is by marking the anniversary with a reunion

0:08:53 > 0:08:56of the parents and children.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58See you later.

0:09:02 > 0:09:08However, not everyone in the community thinks this is a good idea.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12The church is not co-operating, nor is the school.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Interface areas can be very fragile areas.

0:09:17 > 0:09:21And as a mummy and a person who works in the community,

0:09:21 > 0:09:28I wouldn't want to be doing anything that in any way brings about heightening tensions.

0:09:28 > 0:09:34And, em, you know, the school is still there and it's in a vulnerable area.

0:09:34 > 0:09:41You don't want to be raising any awareness or heightening tensions, but the parents and the children,

0:09:41 > 0:09:47we all still live in this community. It is the parish of Holy Cross and, as a group of people,

0:09:47 > 0:09:53we've decided that there's a wee event and we'd like to... It was a big event at the time,

0:09:53 > 0:10:00but we want to mark it by reconnecting with people that we haven't seen for a couple of years,

0:10:00 > 0:10:06have a night's craic and enjoyment, catch up and see how our children have all moved on

0:10:06 > 0:10:09and how well they're doing.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13And hear some of what the other children's plans are.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17And, as I say, raise a couple of pound for children less well off.

0:10:29 > 0:10:34Elaine has four children. Leona is her eldest daughter.

0:10:37 > 0:10:42Tonight Elaine is taking her to music practice. Leona is a member

0:10:42 > 0:10:46of the Jim O'Neill and Robert Allsopp Memorial Band.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48BAND LEADER SHOUTS

0:10:50 > 0:10:52DRUMS BEAT

0:11:04 > 0:11:10You described it as a republican band. Were you apprehensive when she said she wanted to join?

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Em...

0:11:12 > 0:11:17No, not really. I mean, Leona wouldn't be clued in to politics.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Leona's only in it for the music.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28As she gets older, she might become more aware of politics

0:11:28 > 0:11:33and obviously she knows some from her Irish history,

0:11:33 > 0:11:36but her whole passion is music.

0:11:37 > 0:11:43- But some people associate the band with republicanism.- A lot of people associate it with republicanism.

0:11:43 > 0:11:48I joined a flute band because I've always played musical instruments.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52I was playing in a music school not too long back.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I decided I wanted to play the flute.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Tracy Campbell and her daughter Sarah Jane still live in Ardoyne.

0:12:29 > 0:12:35Sarah Jane comes here to the local boxing club twice a week with her sister Megan.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37We just came up for a bit of training

0:12:37 > 0:12:41and a bit of work on the pads and warming up.

0:12:43 > 0:12:47Just footwork and shadow boxing and stuff.

0:12:47 > 0:12:54We've been off for a while, doing schoolwork and stuff, so we're trying to get our fitness back up.

0:12:54 > 0:12:59It's hard at first, but once you get it, it's a good feeling.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06'I like the way it gives me a good feeling, you know.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10'No drug in this world will ever make you feel that way.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14'It's a feeling you couldn't buy.'

0:13:17 > 0:13:22I find it a lot easier to express myself physically

0:13:22 > 0:13:26than, you know, even speaking sometimes

0:13:26 > 0:13:29and, like, writing things down.

0:13:33 > 0:13:38In fact, Sarah Jane has a severe form of dyslexia.

0:13:41 > 0:13:47She's now in her late teens, but faces major problems with even the most everyday tasks.

0:13:47 > 0:13:52'Even, like, in everyday situations like paying on the bus,

0:13:52 > 0:13:58'counting out the right kind of money and getting your change back, it can be really embarrassing.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01'Or the time as well.

0:14:01 > 0:14:06'I find it difficult to tell the time sometimes as well.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09'And that's really embarrassing.'

0:14:10 > 0:14:16Her teachers up in secondary school took her in and learned her the time in every way you can learn it

0:14:16 > 0:14:22to try to make it easier for her. She knew it for a few hours and then it was gone again.

0:14:22 > 0:14:29They'll come and check your work and they'll correct it, but you don't get tutored or anything.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33'Reading things, if I was trying to read big instructions,

0:14:33 > 0:14:37'I can read it, but I couldn't tell you'

0:14:37 > 0:14:43what I've just read because I'm concentrating so hard on reading the actual words

0:14:43 > 0:14:49that I don't get the meaning of what I've just read, what it's saying to me.

0:14:50 > 0:14:56'I always worry. I'm worried in case I can't support myself or look after myself.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59'And, like, I don't wanna

0:14:59 > 0:15:04'like, grow up depending on other people forever.'

0:15:09 > 0:15:11How did you get on?

0:15:11 > 0:15:17Where does Holy Cross fit in Sarah Jane's life? Has it had an impact?

0:15:17 > 0:15:24'I would say it definitely has, but they're not going down the road of bigotry and sectarianism.'

0:15:24 > 0:15:28I think if anything, it's drove them more,

0:15:28 > 0:15:34it's made them more curious of the other side, as some people put it, of the other community.

0:15:34 > 0:15:39And so much that they'll socialise and they'll mix, no problem.

0:15:42 > 0:15:48Sarah Jane still has her sights set on college, in spite of her difficulties.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55Lynda Bowes' daughter Amanda made it to college.

0:16:03 > 0:16:07Amanda is at Queen's doing a degree in film studies.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11She's the first member of her family to go to university.

0:16:13 > 0:16:19'It was tough in the beginning, but it's been great ever since. Once you get settled in

0:16:19 > 0:16:23'you can't really imagine going back to school.'

0:16:23 > 0:16:31There's too much structure and sitting around doing nothing. Here you can practise and rehearse.

0:16:32 > 0:16:37- Do you see them all? - See that one we're editing?- Uh-huh.

0:16:37 > 0:16:42He gave us the idea for the index. We weren't sure how to get it to end.

0:16:42 > 0:16:47Amanda has been living at home throughout her first year,

0:16:47 > 0:16:51- but Lynda has had her concerns about college life.- 'Terrified.

0:16:51 > 0:16:56'Terrified. But I think it's something that I never done.'

0:16:56 > 0:16:59So I don't know what that is like.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01So I'm a bit worried for her

0:17:01 > 0:17:07and nagging her. A bit. More about personal safety and being careful,

0:17:07 > 0:17:10but I'm proud of her that she wants to do it.

0:17:10 > 0:17:16'She wants to try these things and that's all I wanted for them.'

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Amanda was traumatised by the experience of Holy Cross.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24Could this tarnish her time at college?

0:17:26 > 0:17:28She doesn't like

0:17:28 > 0:17:32not knowing where she is, to this day.

0:17:34 > 0:17:39She doesn't like, em, not going out

0:17:40 > 0:17:43in a crowd of people, such...

0:17:43 > 0:17:49You know, if one friend said to her, "There's a new bar,"

0:17:49 > 0:17:53or a new disco, "Do you want to try it?", no.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56She has to ease into it gently.

0:17:56 > 0:18:02And she likes to know she has a group of people around her, to support her.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10This camera's a modified version, so switching it on here...

0:18:10 > 0:18:14'I don't like drunk people. I can't deal with them. I don't know why.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16'And guys, especially.'

0:18:16 > 0:18:23Go to the students union, everyone's having a good time, but there's always one who tries to do something

0:18:23 > 0:18:29and that's what scared me from going out. I didn't know what was going to happen.

0:18:29 > 0:18:35If something did get out of control, was I going to be OK? Stupid wee things like that.

0:18:35 > 0:18:42Amanda has come to the end of her first year, but she has decisions to make

0:18:42 > 0:18:45about how she spends her next two years.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53Angie Boyle now lives in another part of north Belfast.

0:18:53 > 0:18:58Two of her three children are still at home, including 20-year-old Helen.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05We're going to have to move.

0:19:05 > 0:19:09You know, to get behind and get the wires disconnected.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14The family is now about to move again. For Angie, it's a big step.

0:19:14 > 0:19:19She's taken on a mortgage and will be moving into a bigger house,

0:19:19 > 0:19:25but they're all looking forward to the freedom which comes with owning their own home.

0:19:25 > 0:19:29'It's definitely going to be exciting getting into our new house.'

0:19:29 > 0:19:35And knowing it's your own and you can do whatever you want to it

0:19:35 > 0:19:39and really put your stamp on it the way you can't do when renting.

0:19:39 > 0:19:43And we've chosen it, which is nice as well.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45In Ardoyne, you didn't have a say.

0:19:45 > 0:19:50You had a house, you lived in it and that was it!

0:19:50 > 0:19:55It's the start of a whole new set of stresses, but it's all good.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00'I grew up in... mainly in Ardoyne.

0:20:00 > 0:20:06'It was rough, quite impoverished, and it's not the life I want for my children.'

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Where are these wires belonging to?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11Angie works for the council.

0:20:11 > 0:20:17After Holy Cross, she did a degree in fine art and Helen is now studying law.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21'For me, personally, it was the difference between...

0:20:21 > 0:20:26'How can I be a role model to my children? I thought I'd go back to education'

0:20:26 > 0:20:32and try to expand that, just so I could potentially make myself employable in the future.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35And find maybe a way out

0:20:35 > 0:20:38for myself and for my children.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42Anything that's junk, we'll just leave here.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46'I never felt as though I fitted in in Ardoyne or that I belonged there.

0:20:46 > 0:20:51'I was just always a bit different. It was the same with my whole family.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54'We never really belonged there.'

0:20:54 > 0:20:59We knew we didn't fit in. We weren't part of that mentality

0:20:59 > 0:21:03where your whole family lives in the one street.

0:21:03 > 0:21:08So we never really... The mentality wasn't for us. The area wasn't right for us.

0:21:13 > 0:21:19Elaine Burns and her daughter Leona are still very much involved in life in Ardoyne.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Elaine works for a voluntary organisation in the neighbourhood

0:21:31 > 0:21:35providing advice about housing and benefit issues.

0:21:35 > 0:21:41'I always grew up with a wee saying. "You bloom where you're planted."

0:21:41 > 0:21:46'And my family connections, my mummy, my sisters,

0:21:46 > 0:21:48'we all live here.'

0:21:48 > 0:21:52And, you know, being close to family,

0:21:52 > 0:21:56when you're born in a community that's only 7,000 people

0:21:56 > 0:22:00and there's probably a mile radius around it,

0:22:00 > 0:22:03people become very close.

0:22:03 > 0:22:07We're a very close-knit community. And with our families as well.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11You grab a wee seat down here for me. Close that wee door there.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17- Yours is a wee 50, is it? - Aye, I filled one out before.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21- I think she's gone to Australia or America now.- Oh, Dorothy.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23Aye.

0:22:26 > 0:22:31- Right, so it's depression and anxiety.- Anxiety.- Right, OK.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34- I know, she has... - She's written it down.

0:22:34 > 0:22:39Panic attacks and stuff. Mainly around depression and anxiety.

0:22:39 > 0:22:45- I got stabbed a couple of years ago. - OK. And where were you stabbed?

0:22:45 > 0:22:51- Oh, on the chest, two in the shoulder and one in the back, punctured lung.- Right.

0:22:51 > 0:22:55'I absolutely love the job that I do,

0:22:55 > 0:23:02'where I can see the satisfaction on someone's face when you've helped them achieve something'

0:23:02 > 0:23:08or get them a benefit that they were entitled to that helps them and their family in a better state,

0:23:08 > 0:23:13I don't want for anything else. That's what I'm happy with.

0:23:21 > 0:23:27Elaine has also been busy planning the reunion for the parents and children involved in Holy Cross

0:23:27 > 0:23:2810 years ago.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32This is the Crumlin Star, a local club in the area.

0:23:32 > 0:23:38They have offered the facilities of their cabaret hall for us to host our wee event.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Hi, Gerry!

0:23:50 > 0:23:56- Well, Elaine, welcome. Everything sorted out? - That's just what I'm up for,

0:23:56 > 0:23:59to make sure everything is OK.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03They're going to just have the DJ, disco and run a few wee ballots.

0:24:03 > 0:24:08I hope it's good and rightly so after the length of time.

0:24:08 > 0:24:13- It'll bring back memories, obviously. - It'll be good to catch up with everybody, aye.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- I'll see you then.- Bye!

0:24:15 > 0:24:23She's conscious that lack of support from the church and school could affect how many people turn up.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25So is she concerned?

0:24:25 > 0:24:31I think when you're organising an event, no matter what, you're always concerned about numbers

0:24:31 > 0:24:37and if the crowd's going to be there. A lot of times you worry for nothing. I've got to the stage now,

0:24:37 > 0:24:42you organise an event. If people go, they go. If they don't, they don't.

0:24:42 > 0:24:48As long as those who do attend have a good night and an opportunity to catch up with old friends.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51That's what I'm looking forward to.

0:24:54 > 0:24:58Eight o'clock, then. Until they drop!

0:25:14 > 0:25:19Elaine's daughter, Leona, is coming to the end of term at school.

0:25:19 > 0:25:26Like many of her friends, she now attends the Catholic secondary school in neighbouring Ballysillan.

0:25:26 > 0:25:32'I go to Our Lady of Mercy secondary school. I enjoy playing sports, I enjoy music.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36'And I'm studying "A" levels in school at the minute.'

0:25:41 > 0:25:47Leona has been considering her career options and she's decided that she wants to join the police.

0:25:50 > 0:25:55I'm not the type to sit in an office. I want to be out and active

0:25:55 > 0:25:57and helping make a difference.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01I know I would enjoy the job as well.

0:26:01 > 0:26:06But in a community like Ardoyne, a career choice like this is not so simple.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10I live in an area with strong republican views.

0:26:10 > 0:26:18And we do have a growing number of republicans who are anti the Good Friday Agreement

0:26:18 > 0:26:24and the peace process. So when you live in an area like Ardoyne, it's not that easy.

0:26:24 > 0:26:30If you live maybe in the leafy suburbs... There's a thing about "castle Catholics".

0:26:30 > 0:26:36But if my daughter was probably born in the Malone Road, there probably wouldn't be any questions asked.

0:26:36 > 0:26:41She could go and choose that if it was the career she wanted.

0:26:41 > 0:26:48So just at the minute it's not that easy for someone from working class areas like Ardoyne.

0:26:49 > 0:26:55It's a major decision for Leona with implications for her whole family.

0:26:56 > 0:27:02Sarah Jane wants to go to college and is being encouraged by her mum Tracy,

0:27:02 > 0:27:05who works as a dinner lady at Ballysillan.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11What'll you take for dessert, love?

0:27:11 > 0:27:16Tracy and her friend Paula are supporting Elaine's reunion.

0:27:17 > 0:27:23- Do you think it's right to mark the 10th anniversary?- Just to remember it quietly ourselves.

0:27:23 > 0:27:27There's no point in taking it up and shouting in people's faces

0:27:27 > 0:27:31because really and truly it's your own personal thing.

0:27:31 > 0:27:37Everybody felt different when it happened, everybody felt different when it started, finished

0:27:37 > 0:27:43and every so many years on. You've seen people maybe change their attitude towards it.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46People don't want to talk about it. Some do.

0:27:51 > 0:27:55Although Tracy's daughter Sarah Jane has severe dyslexia,

0:27:55 > 0:28:01she has a flair for art and has been doing a BTech for the past two years.

0:28:01 > 0:28:05She met her boyfriend Adam at the course.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09Today they're both meeting her tutor.

0:28:09 > 0:28:14- 'Art's like a big part of us because we do it every day. - Every day.

0:28:14 > 0:28:18- 'Every day has something to do with art.- Yeah.'

0:28:20 > 0:28:26- That's one done with oil pastels. - Which was your favourite medium when you first came here.- Yeah.

0:28:26 > 0:28:30Were you using paint when you first came here or just oil pastels?

0:28:30 > 0:28:34I only started paint when I started here.

0:28:36 > 0:28:40- That's Adam.- There you are. - With his grumpy face.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44- Where's that one?- Do you know where the Shamrock is in Ardoyne?

0:28:44 > 0:28:51Yeah? That's where I live. It's the houses there. I didn't get that completely finished,

0:28:51 > 0:28:55that one. That one's in Jamaica Street.

0:28:55 > 0:29:01We went to the art show at the art exhibition at the University of Ulster last week.

0:29:01 > 0:29:06Just going and looking at everybody's work gave us such ideas.

0:29:06 > 0:29:11It was inspiring for us and we started working harder, doing more.

0:29:11 > 0:29:15It rubbed off on us, to give us more ideas.

0:29:15 > 0:29:17A scary one.

0:29:18 > 0:29:20Yeah!

0:29:20 > 0:29:27I see I don't know how many students every year. Every once in a while, somebody actually stands out.

0:29:27 > 0:29:30Sarah Jane is one of those students.

0:29:30 > 0:29:34It's very, very restrained, very pared-down.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37And just very honest. It's a very honest communication.

0:29:37 > 0:29:41She's just telling like who she is and where she comes from.

0:29:41 > 0:29:46Sarah Jane's natural progression would be a foundation course for a degree.

0:29:46 > 0:29:51But she can only do this if her English and Maths are up to it.

0:29:51 > 0:29:56She has to pass exams in both if she's to get a place on the course.

0:29:56 > 0:29:58Who's that?

0:29:58 > 0:30:05'We can't understand, you know, why you need Maths and English

0:30:05 > 0:30:08'for just to simply sit down and draw.

0:30:08 > 0:30:14'But you need some written work besides your drawings, your sketches.'

0:30:14 > 0:30:16That actually looks like him.

0:30:16 > 0:30:20I'm gutted, to be quite honest and truthful, absolutely gutted

0:30:20 > 0:30:23because she's so passionate about art.

0:30:23 > 0:30:29And you know, she really so wants to go further on in art.

0:30:29 > 0:30:33And she's just hit a brick wall, really, you know?

0:30:33 > 0:30:36God help her, she'll go and try anything.

0:30:36 > 0:30:42She says to me, "Mummy, I feel like I'm going to go into this room and feel humiliated."

0:30:42 > 0:30:46With the problems she has, along comes frustration and embarrassment

0:30:46 > 0:30:49when faced with these situations like sitting exams.

0:30:49 > 0:30:53But she's still willing to go and face all that, to try.

0:31:02 > 0:31:08Amanda Bowes has lived at home during her first year at Queen's University.

0:31:09 > 0:31:13A legacy of the trauma of the Holy Cross dispute

0:31:13 > 0:31:19has meant Amanda has always been nervous of venturing too far from the safety of her family in Ardoyne.

0:31:20 > 0:31:25But recently, she has broken news of a major decision to her mother Lynda.

0:31:25 > 0:31:26Hiya.

0:31:26 > 0:31:29She's decided to leave home,

0:31:29 > 0:31:34but she wants her mother to see the house she's moving into with college friends.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37They're getting another viewing with the estate agent.

0:31:37 > 0:31:42- The furniture? Is that not going to be...?- Yeah, the television.

0:31:42 > 0:31:46It's a huge step for both mother and daughter.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48Look at this!

0:31:48 > 0:31:53'Amanda, generally, to be honest with you, has always been very shy.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56'Not even shy. I would say more reserved.'

0:31:56 > 0:32:01She likes to get her bearings and she's a bit of a worrier.

0:32:01 > 0:32:05You would be using the front room as a living room, really.

0:32:05 > 0:32:11'Looking at her now, the girl from a year ago... It's a different person.

0:32:11 > 0:32:14'She's a totally different person.'

0:32:14 > 0:32:20She's gone from strength to strength, so much so, she's leaving me.

0:32:20 > 0:32:25- It's smaller, but it's still got a big bed in it.- This was my sister's bedroom.- Was it?

0:32:25 > 0:32:29'I need to be able to stand on my own two feet for the first time.

0:32:29 > 0:32:33'All the way through school, I've had a stable environment'

0:32:33 > 0:32:38and should anything ever have gone wrong, Mummy was there to fix it

0:32:38 > 0:32:40and Daddy was always there to fix it.

0:32:40 > 0:32:44I think that I need to prove to myself that I could fix it,

0:32:44 > 0:32:48whatever was wrong, I'm able to tackle it on my own

0:32:48 > 0:32:52and be able to say, "Yes, I'm strong enough, I'm independent now."

0:32:52 > 0:32:58- You haven't seen this one. Look at the size of this one. Ignore the mess.- It's normally the biggest.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00'It has been the making of her.

0:33:00 > 0:33:05'She still has friends, people in her circle from her secondary school,

0:33:05 > 0:33:11'but she's met these other people from all over the place and they get on like a house on fire.'

0:33:11 > 0:33:15She's much more independent now than she's ever been.

0:33:15 > 0:33:18And I have to say, so far, so good.

0:33:18 > 0:33:21She's with a really, really nice group of people.

0:33:21 > 0:33:26And, um...people who never knew she was involved in a protest.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28And so, em...

0:33:30 > 0:33:32She didn't have that baggage either.

0:33:32 > 0:33:35LAUGHTER That's an achievement!

0:33:36 > 0:33:39This is the one we're fighting over.

0:33:39 > 0:33:45- Who likes the sloping ceilings? - I like them. I think they're so cool.- This is very nice.

0:33:45 > 0:33:50Once they work out who's sleeping in what room and we get the basics sorted,

0:33:50 > 0:33:53because there's some competition for one of the bedrooms...

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Once that's done, they'll be fine.

0:33:56 > 0:34:00This is my first trip over, so I know she's not that far away.

0:34:00 > 0:34:07Now that I've made the drive from our house over, I know she's in relatively easy reach.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10- And contented. - It's almost like a coming of age.

0:34:10 > 0:34:12It is. It is.

0:34:12 > 0:34:18When she said when she first went to uni, she was staying at home, that sort of made my day, you know?

0:34:18 > 0:34:24But no, she's made a very good choice both in property and in house-mates.

0:34:24 > 0:34:27So I'm happy for her. I'm excited for them.

0:34:27 > 0:34:30How excited are you, Amanda, about this now?

0:34:30 > 0:34:34More excited now that Mummy's seen it and she's OK with it.

0:34:34 > 0:34:37She's OK, it's all fine. I'm excited now.

0:34:37 > 0:34:40Still nervous obviously, but, yeah...

0:34:40 > 0:34:45- New beginning?- Yes, definitely. A new start, sort of.

0:34:52 > 0:34:54Angie Boyle has been moving house

0:34:54 > 0:34:59at the same time as Helen has been doing her second-year exams in Law.

0:35:01 > 0:35:04Helen is on her way to the library to study.

0:35:05 > 0:35:11She sees her education as fundamental to all her plans for the future.

0:35:11 > 0:35:15Angie's enjoying finding new places for her things.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18They include her own artwork.

0:35:18 > 0:35:21I've had to put my artwork here

0:35:21 > 0:35:24because I haven't figured out...

0:35:24 > 0:35:28I'm not at the stage yet to figure out where I'll store it,

0:35:28 > 0:35:32where I'm going to work on new paintings and so on.

0:35:33 > 0:35:35This one is of Holy Cross.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38This was actually done from the time...

0:35:38 > 0:35:42I done this probably about a year ago.

0:35:42 > 0:35:46Why did you decide to do this one a year ago?

0:35:46 > 0:35:51I was always thinking I should do something, just even as a cathartic process maybe.

0:35:51 > 0:35:55But in most of the paintings that I've done,

0:35:55 > 0:35:58they are all essentially a reference

0:35:58 > 0:36:03from how the whole thing of Holy Cross affected me, I suppose,

0:36:03 > 0:36:06and how apathetic and how sort of...

0:36:06 > 0:36:12You know, you're lacking in power to change anything or make anything different.

0:36:12 > 0:36:15This one's of Helen and this is Ardoyne.

0:36:15 > 0:36:20It was very much based on the Holy Cross experience because...

0:36:22 > 0:36:25Again I have my...

0:36:25 > 0:36:27my areas.

0:36:27 > 0:36:31And they kind of say where she is and how strong she is,

0:36:31 > 0:36:36even though all that happened and she experienced that level of hatred going on

0:36:36 > 0:36:40and how people can be so hatred-filled, you know?

0:36:44 > 0:36:46And this is my bedroom

0:36:46 > 0:36:49which is a bit of a mess at the moment.

0:36:49 > 0:36:53And the colours are a bit horrendous.

0:36:54 > 0:37:01But maybe there's a child been in here or something before I had the house, so again small steps.

0:37:01 > 0:37:08But that's it. That's about as much movement I have with my furniture as you can see, basically, here.

0:37:08 > 0:37:13So it's just a matter of me coming in, giving it a good dose of bright paint.

0:37:13 > 0:37:16Light, rather, and natural.

0:37:16 > 0:37:19So, yeah, that's this room.

0:37:19 > 0:37:22And in here is Helen's room.

0:37:25 > 0:37:28She's a bit spoilt, like, on it so... for space.

0:37:28 > 0:37:34She's got the biggest...probably the biggest room in the house, actually, this is.

0:37:34 > 0:37:37And, um...you know, she works hard.

0:37:37 > 0:37:44It's OK. We're happy enough with the situation the way it is, so, you know...

0:37:44 > 0:37:49And that room, anyway, that I'm in is about the size of the house I lived in in Ardoyne,

0:37:49 > 0:37:56so you know, it's just like the squeeze is back on, to squeeze your furniture into small rooms.

0:37:56 > 0:38:00But maybe I should get rid of some of my furniture.

0:38:00 > 0:38:03Why did you give Helen the big room?

0:38:03 > 0:38:05Well, we came down a couple of times

0:38:05 > 0:38:08and we just decided, you know,

0:38:08 > 0:38:12it's no big deal if Helen gets the big room.

0:38:12 > 0:38:14It's a big house with lots of rooms.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17It's all good.

0:38:21 > 0:38:27For Helen, it's been a long road from Holy Cross to Law School.

0:38:27 > 0:38:34I meet so many people who just have no idea... They're so... I just find them quite ridiculous.

0:38:34 > 0:38:36They're so shallow or something.

0:38:36 > 0:38:40They've no depth to them because they've never known hardship

0:38:40 > 0:38:46and they've never known what it's like to have to work hard for something because it matters,

0:38:46 > 0:38:51it's the difference between you getting to go to school and having an education or not.

0:38:51 > 0:38:55They wouldn't have any understanding of that.

0:38:55 > 0:38:58I don't want to have to struggle in my whole life

0:38:58 > 0:39:03with money and in terms of where we can live and what you can afford to do.

0:39:03 > 0:39:09From growing up with our parents, we never had a lot of money when we were younger

0:39:09 > 0:39:11and we don't have a lot of money now.

0:39:11 > 0:39:17That's the driving force as well behind my decision to go into law and to try and get a well-paid job.

0:39:17 > 0:39:21If you're working as a paralegal for so many years,

0:39:21 > 0:39:25- you get automatically accepted on to the Institute.- Yeah.

0:39:25 > 0:39:27Yeah, I know a guy who did that.

0:39:27 > 0:39:32Helen's ambitions mean that she's looking even further afield.

0:39:32 > 0:39:38She's approached a prestigious law firm in London and got a placement over the summer

0:39:38 > 0:39:41which she hopes will open more doors for her.

0:39:41 > 0:39:46I'm really excited about going and seeing what life's like in London for the two weeks

0:39:46 > 0:39:50and what it's like to work there and the kind of work you'll be doing.

0:39:50 > 0:39:55Hopefully, at the end of it, I might be offered a training contract.

0:39:59 > 0:40:05Tracy Campbell and her daughter Sarah Jane have had the recent worry of Sarah Jane's looming exams.

0:40:16 > 0:40:19But today, there is some relief

0:40:19 > 0:40:22as it's Sarah Jane's 19th birthday.

0:40:22 > 0:40:27Her boyfriend Adam is treating her to a romantic dinner.

0:40:28 > 0:40:32I've been going out with a guy in my class called Adam.

0:40:32 > 0:40:36We met last year, but we've only started going out this year.

0:40:36 > 0:40:39But he's really lovely.

0:40:43 > 0:40:47I just wanted to give her a wee surprise, just a wee treat,

0:40:47 > 0:40:50so I told her I'd take her out for dinner.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53We went to the cinema last night, so...

0:40:54 > 0:40:57This is something else.

0:41:00 > 0:41:02LAUGHTER

0:41:03 > 0:41:09On the face of it, Sarah Jane and Adam are like any other two teenagers in love.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13But in north Belfast, life is not as simple as that.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16Adam is a Protestant.

0:41:16 > 0:41:23She brought her boyfriend home and they'd obviously been dating for quite a while.

0:41:23 > 0:41:27They were very familiar, as an observant parent, with each other.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29And she had no problems whatsoever,

0:41:29 > 0:41:33you know, telling us he's from the other community.

0:41:33 > 0:41:36You know, um, which, you know...

0:41:36 > 0:41:40I just reckon we all live together here. We'd really like to see that.

0:41:40 > 0:41:43And that was just saying that's the end of that.

0:41:43 > 0:41:46So it's now just Adam.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49It's not Adam from here or Adam's a this or that.

0:41:49 > 0:41:52It's just Adam. He's a really nice kid.

0:41:54 > 0:41:59'I wanted him to be comfortable first with me and to feel like he can trust me

0:41:59 > 0:42:01'before I brought him to here.

0:42:01 > 0:42:05'But he came in and then he knew he was OK.'

0:42:05 > 0:42:09I might just get the fish and chips or just the chicken goujons.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11I was the same when I was going down

0:42:11 > 0:42:14to meet his parents and all too,

0:42:14 > 0:42:17but you realise that it's OK, you know.

0:42:18 > 0:42:20Give us a kiss.

0:42:34 > 0:42:39Angie Boyle is preparing to say goodbye to her daughter Helen.

0:42:39 > 0:42:42For a couple of weeks anyway.

0:42:43 > 0:42:47Helen sets off today for London where she'll spend two weeks

0:42:47 > 0:42:49with a commercial law company

0:42:49 > 0:42:55and it has the potential to provide her with an internship when she graduates in a year's time.

0:42:55 > 0:42:58'My ambition is definitely based in London.

0:42:58 > 0:43:03'In the next couple of years, that's definitely where I see myself working

0:43:03 > 0:43:06'and that's where I'm really hoping I'm going to get to go.'

0:43:06 > 0:43:09Well, we'll miss you.

0:43:09 > 0:43:14'It's not that I'm desperate to get out of here. I mean, this is my home.

0:43:14 > 0:43:21'I love Belfast. You spend your life here and this is where all my friends and all my family are.'

0:43:21 > 0:43:25But career-wise, the opportunities are elsewhere.

0:43:25 > 0:43:27That's just the way it is.

0:43:27 > 0:43:31I don't mind either getting away to experience living in other places

0:43:31 > 0:43:37where there aren't so many problems and so much history and so much going on,

0:43:37 > 0:43:42so it will be interesting to see what life's like elsewhere, how other people live,

0:43:42 > 0:43:45without all this hatred in their lives.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49So, yeah, my plans are definitely to leave again.

0:44:03 > 0:44:05That's her. Right...

0:44:09 > 0:44:13It's a really good opportunity and worst-case scenario,

0:44:13 > 0:44:17if she didn't get picked, she's just got to stay with her mummy.

0:44:17 > 0:44:19How bad is that?

0:44:19 > 0:44:22It's all good, you know.

0:44:22 > 0:44:26I think if Helen has her way, she won't move away.

0:44:26 > 0:44:28You know, she loves it here

0:44:28 > 0:44:31and she likes being close.

0:44:31 > 0:44:34She loves to travel. Don't get me wrong.

0:44:34 > 0:44:36But as for living somewhere for...

0:44:36 > 0:44:42you know, as a constant thing for her future, I'm not too sure about that.

0:44:42 > 0:44:45I'd always see her wanting to be back here, you know?

0:44:46 > 0:44:50I don't think there's any harm in wanting your children to achieve,

0:44:50 > 0:44:56but I think there is harm when you start to want to live through your kids

0:44:56 > 0:45:02and you want to browbeat them into being something you never were, you never could be.

0:45:02 > 0:45:04I think that would be horrendous.

0:45:04 > 0:45:10I think parents like that are... you know, they're a bit misguided.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28As you can see, a few changes.

0:45:30 > 0:45:33- CUP DROPS - Oops!

0:45:44 > 0:45:47TAPS KEYS ON PHONE

0:45:47 > 0:45:52I'm just texting Helen to let her know that everything's OK.

0:45:52 > 0:45:56I'm back and... Is she OK, more or less?

0:45:56 > 0:46:00It'll be quiet without her, like, so it will.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03But, you know, two weeks and she'll be back

0:46:03 > 0:46:09and that'll be me running after her and helping her with this, that and the other.

0:46:15 > 0:46:21Elaine Burns' daughter Leona has also been considering her career options.

0:46:22 > 0:46:27Since childhood, she has nurtured an ambition to be a police officer,

0:46:27 > 0:46:34but recently, the adult realities of who she is and where she comes from have tempered that ambition.

0:46:35 > 0:46:39I always wanted to be a police officer and in the past few months,

0:46:39 > 0:46:44a year maybe, I've just realised that I can't do it.

0:46:44 > 0:46:46I can't do it where I live.

0:46:46 > 0:46:50It's too risky with the murder of that police officer Ronan Kerr

0:46:50 > 0:46:55and people getting threatened and all. It's just too risky.

0:46:56 > 0:47:01There is an ongoing threat to serving members of the PSNI

0:47:01 > 0:47:04and difficulties even for families

0:47:04 > 0:47:07who remain living in an area like Ardoyne.

0:47:07 > 0:47:10I'm not up for moving my home for anybody,

0:47:10 > 0:47:13so I think just now that she's got older,

0:47:13 > 0:47:16she is aware that it's just not that easy,

0:47:16 > 0:47:20coming from an area like Ardoyne, to join the PSNI.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24Now, she still wants to be involved in law enforcement,

0:47:24 > 0:47:29so she has been looking at the likes of the Irish army or the Garda.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33Come on.

0:47:33 > 0:47:39'All these people I'll be sad to leave. Like it's where I come from, it's my home.'

0:47:39 > 0:47:44- Are you looking forward to going out and exploring other areas?- Yeah, definitely.

0:47:44 > 0:47:49I'm looking forward to seeing different places that I haven't seen.

0:47:50 > 0:47:55We bring our children into the world and we have to bring them up as best we can

0:47:55 > 0:47:59and support them as best we can, but they are only loaned to us.

0:47:59 > 0:48:02They will leave us at some stage

0:48:02 > 0:48:06and it's just right that they move away and further their own careers

0:48:06 > 0:48:09and set up family for themselves.

0:48:09 > 0:48:13I'd rather she went two hours' drive away as stay here,

0:48:13 > 0:48:18I mean, in Ardoyne, and then have the risk to her own life.

0:48:27 > 0:48:33Lynda Bowes is preparing for her daughter Amanda to leave the family home in the next few weeks.

0:48:35 > 0:48:41Today, though, they are getting ready for the reunion being organised by Elaine.

0:48:41 > 0:48:45- Are you wearing a necklace? - Yeah, that'll be nice.

0:48:45 > 0:48:49They're shopping for the night and enjoying their time together.

0:48:49 > 0:48:53Lynda, who works as a legal secretary, is coming to terms

0:48:53 > 0:48:58- with the idea of her daughter spreading her wings. - Yeah, I like that.

0:48:58 > 0:49:03'I know myself, for Amanda to follow her dreams, she has to leave Ardoyne.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06'That's just it, you know?

0:49:06 > 0:49:12'Just because I was born and reared there and I've lived there all my married life,

0:49:12 > 0:49:14'it's not for everybody.'

0:49:14 > 0:49:19And if her dreams and her life takes her wherever she goes,

0:49:19 > 0:49:22as long as she's happy... She knows where home is.

0:49:22 > 0:49:29And it'll always be there, whether it's in Ardoyne or anywhere else. She'll always know where home is.

0:49:29 > 0:49:33You can see the generation that the world is their oyster.

0:49:33 > 0:49:37There's no more... Their views aren't as entrenched as...

0:49:37 > 0:49:42You know, you don't go further than like three streets away looking for a job.

0:49:42 > 0:49:46They have choices. You know, education, work, training.

0:49:46 > 0:49:51There's so much for them to consider now at this young age,

0:49:51 > 0:49:57as opposed to ourselves who left school and either struggled to get into university or got a job.

0:49:57 > 0:50:00And I'm a bit jealous!

0:50:00 > 0:50:03I think it's important for me

0:50:03 > 0:50:06to get out and see the rest of Ireland

0:50:06 > 0:50:09or wherever the job hopefully I'll get takes me.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12But it's always going to be home.

0:50:13 > 0:50:15I'll probably come back some day.

0:50:15 > 0:50:18I'd like to think so, but...

0:50:18 > 0:50:21It's where I'll always be.

0:50:26 > 0:50:32Tracy Campbell's daughter Sarah Jane is about to experience a critical moment in her life.

0:50:33 > 0:50:38Sarah Jane's dream is to continue her studies in art.

0:50:38 > 0:50:43But she can only do so if she passes exams in English and Maths.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47And she finds out today if she's succeeded.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49I feel a wee bit nervous,

0:50:49 > 0:50:51but I'm not going to get my hopes up

0:50:51 > 0:50:56because I don't want to be upset or anything if I've failed or anything, so..

0:50:56 > 0:51:01At the same time, I'm a wee bit excited because hopefully, I do pass.

0:51:02 > 0:51:07- Oh, I thought you'd run away. - Hi.- Great to see you. - How are you?- I'm good.

0:51:07 > 0:51:11- You're looking a million dollars as always.- Thanks. So are you.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14Well, so... We're here with all this exciting news.

0:51:14 > 0:51:17- Yeah?- Have a seat.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23- Are you OK?- Yeah.- All right?- Mm-hm.

0:51:23 > 0:51:28- Calm?- Yeah, yeah. - You've got your Level 2. - Oh, that's good. That's great.

0:51:28 > 0:51:33- You were an excellent student. - Thank you.- You worked really, really hard.- Yeah.

0:51:33 > 0:51:38Caroline and I have both checked your portfolio and it's fantastic.

0:51:38 > 0:51:43- Thank you.- Are you happy?- Yeah. Thanks for all your help, by the way.

0:51:43 > 0:51:47- You're very welcome.- It was very good.- You're very welcome.

0:51:47 > 0:51:50I will. Thanks. Thank you.

0:51:51 > 0:51:53I passed.

0:51:54 > 0:51:59- You passed?- Yeah. - Congratulations.- Thank you.

0:52:00 > 0:52:04- I'll have to phone Mummy and tell her.- All that hard work paid off.

0:52:04 > 0:52:06Hello?

0:52:07 > 0:52:09I passed, so I did.

0:52:11 > 0:52:13I know.

0:52:13 > 0:52:17And they said I did really well and I was a good student.

0:52:18 > 0:52:22'I passed my course which is great because more doors have opened.

0:52:22 > 0:52:29'I'm proud of myself. I just want to be independent and have a career and be able to look after myself.'

0:52:40 > 0:52:43Back in Ardoyne, the big night has come -

0:52:43 > 0:52:46the reunion organised by Elaine.

0:52:50 > 0:52:53MUSIC: "Unfinished Sympathy" - Massive Attack

0:52:59 > 0:53:03Leona was all set to go, but she's missing a shoe,

0:53:03 > 0:53:06thanks to one of the family pets.

0:53:06 > 0:53:09- You look lovely. - Without my black shoe!

0:53:09 > 0:53:13- I told you.- I'm raging. - Mavis the dog!

0:53:13 > 0:53:17Do you not want to put any jewellery on, a necklace, no?

0:53:17 > 0:53:19I can't get over my shoe!

0:53:19 > 0:53:22Well, you might get over it!

0:53:22 > 0:53:25- What happened?- They're lovely on. - ..My dog ate it!

0:53:27 > 0:53:32You should keep the door locked. You know how many things and shoes she ate of mine.

0:53:32 > 0:53:36And Danny took it off the dog, but I don't know where it is.

0:53:36 > 0:53:41Right, let's go. What about...? Where's Christina?

0:53:41 > 0:53:45- She's meeting us up there.- Right. - She's going with Amy-Jo.- OK.

0:53:45 > 0:53:50# Like a soul without a mind in a body without a heart

0:53:50 > 0:53:53# I'm missing every part

0:53:54 > 0:53:59# Like a soul without a mind in a body without a heart

0:53:59 > 0:54:01# I'm missing every part... #

0:54:01 > 0:54:06There's been some doubt about whether this night should take place.

0:54:06 > 0:54:09Neither the church nor Holy Cross School supported it.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13For Elaine, this is the moment of truth.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16I'm sitting waiting on my friends.

0:54:16 > 0:54:20I'm a lonely soul. I'm waiting on the rest of the girls coming up.

0:54:20 > 0:54:26Obviously, I came up early to help the younger ones that are doing the door and looking after the ballots.

0:54:26 > 0:54:28I came up to give them a wee hand.

0:54:28 > 0:54:34I take it the rest of them are having a few jars in their houses before they make their way here,

0:54:34 > 0:54:36so they'll be here shortly.

0:54:44 > 0:54:47MUSIC: "Go West" - Pet Shop Boys

0:54:47 > 0:54:48OK, thanks.

0:54:48 > 0:54:52- Do you want a stamp?- Oh, a stamp.

0:54:57 > 0:55:04It would have been nice to see more people, but everybody's got their different ways of remembering it.

0:55:04 > 0:55:06I can't believe it's ten years,

0:55:06 > 0:55:09but I'm glad it's ten years behind us.

0:55:09 > 0:55:14I can't wait for them saying it's 20 years gone. I wish it had never happened.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18Give me five.

0:55:19 > 0:55:24This really is just a reunion for the girls that all went through

0:55:24 > 0:55:26a terrible experience.

0:55:26 > 0:55:30They're coming back and most of them haven't seen each other in years.

0:55:30 > 0:55:35And it's nice for them to get together because they've all put it well behind them

0:55:35 > 0:55:39and they've all moved on. I'm very proud of them.

0:55:40 > 0:55:43Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

0:55:43 > 0:55:47welcome to Crumlin Star tonight for the Holy Cross Ten Years On Reunion.

0:55:47 > 0:55:50How are youse all doing? CHEERING

0:55:51 > 0:55:57And if you get your cameras out, ladies and gentlemen, and take some photos, OK?

0:56:00 > 0:56:05- Loads of smiles... - 'I can't believe how well the kids have come on. They're brilliant.'

0:56:05 > 0:56:11After three, give it a big, massive cheer. One, two, three, big cheer! CHEERING

0:56:11 > 0:56:18They're a bunch of beautiful, confident women that are going to excel in life and do really well.

0:56:18 > 0:56:21# Tonight's gonna be a good night

0:56:21 > 0:56:25# That tonight's gonna be a good night

0:56:25 > 0:56:29# That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

0:56:29 > 0:56:33# Tonight's the night, hey! Let's live it up... #

0:56:33 > 0:56:40'I think it was just sort of important that I come to... Sort of like a wee landmark in life.

0:56:40 > 0:56:45'Yes, it's been that long and we can officially now move on.'

0:56:45 > 0:56:48It's nice to see how everyone else has grown.

0:56:48 > 0:56:51Because most of them were younger than I was,

0:56:51 > 0:56:54it's nice to see that they've come out of it OK.

0:56:54 > 0:57:00They've all done so well. It's been really nice to be able to see everyone's done so well.

0:57:00 > 0:57:03# I wanna know-ow-ow

0:57:03 > 0:57:05# If you'll be my girl

0:57:05 > 0:57:08# Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... #

0:57:09 > 0:57:13Friendships that will last for ever. They have a bond now.

0:57:13 > 0:57:17So they do. I think it's a bond that'll never leave them.

0:57:17 > 0:57:22A special bond. It was such a tragic, horrible thing, they've just...

0:57:22 > 0:57:28- They've just created this bond. It's like they all knit in together. - Yeah.- And help each other out.

0:57:28 > 0:57:30OK, here we go!

0:57:30 > 0:57:34# Hey, hey, baby

0:57:34 > 0:57:36# Ooh! Ah!

0:57:36 > 0:57:40# I wanna know-ow-ow if you'll be my girl... #

0:57:40 > 0:57:44It was a personal thing tonight about people reconnecting,

0:57:44 > 0:57:50not about just mummies reconnecting or mummies and the children reconnecting,

0:57:50 > 0:57:52but about a community reconnecting.

0:57:52 > 0:57:58We would not have got through what we got through without the rest of the people in our community.

0:57:59 > 0:58:02# I don't wanna lose your love... #

0:58:05 > 0:58:07MUSIC: "Loaded" - Primal Scream

0:58:19 > 0:58:22They're strong, independent young women.

0:58:22 > 0:58:27And I'm proud of them. I'm proud of the school. I'm proud of Amanda.

0:58:34 > 0:58:38Sometimes, you know, just bad things happen and you move on.

0:58:38 > 0:58:44And you know, maybe we all needed a date or a landmark of some sort.

0:58:44 > 0:58:48It's time to put it to bed and move on and I think this is it.

0:59:15 > 0:59:20Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011

0:59:20 > 0:59:23Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk