0:00:03 > 0:00:07Three Welsh veterans of a war fought 30 years ago,
0:00:07 > 0:00:09halfway around the world.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11EXPLOSION
0:00:14 > 0:00:16SHOUTING
0:00:24 > 0:00:26The conflict cast a long shadow
0:00:26 > 0:00:30and with every passing anniversary they kept quiet.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Now they're on a pilgrimage back to the South Atlantic
0:00:33 > 0:00:37to heal their wounds and lay their ghosts to rest.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42These are the untold stories of the Falklands War.
0:00:44 > 0:00:49I'm getting an opportunity to say goodbye to my friends once and for all and...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53..making apologies and...
0:00:55 > 0:00:57..and putting it to bed.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59There's that thing at the back of my mind
0:00:59 > 0:01:01that says it might not be enough.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09There is a mixture of apprehension there and great interest
0:01:09 > 0:01:12to see how it is nowadays as opposed to back in '82.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I've no nerves and no real apprehensions.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24You never know what the trip might throw up.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Just take it as it comes and hope it all goes well.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33TANNOY: 'On behalf of the captain and the crew, it's been our pleasure looking after you.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36'We'd like to wish you a pleasant stay here.'
0:01:49 > 0:01:53For some old soldiers, the war isn't over when the fighting stops.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Steve Dawkins is one.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Probably the darkest time of my life.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I made a decision...
0:02:01 > 0:02:02..to end my life.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06This was the point where I was going to do it.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I wanted it to be quick, I didn't want to suffer.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I didn't want to suffer any more.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12And...
0:02:16 > 0:02:19..I was waiting for the first train to come through.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I came back from the Falklands, yes, I was angry,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30there was a lot of anger there and sadness at the loss of friends.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34It wasn't until five years later,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I started getting the flashbacks and the nightmares.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I get down, I get miserable.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I mean, downright miserable.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Steve was a medic on the supply ship Sir Galahad
0:02:49 > 0:02:53with the Welsh Guards when it was hit by Argentine bombs.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Among the 50 men killed were two of his closest comrades.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02I never really had the chance to say goodbye to Kenny.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06And Scouse.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I need to bury that ghost.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Talk to them and say...
0:03:14 > 0:03:15I'm sorry.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20But it wasn't really my fault, but I'm still sorry.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I've never been so more sorry in all my life.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Llanfairfechan on the north Wales coast.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Paratrooper David Jones left here aged 21
0:03:33 > 0:03:36to fight in the decisive battles of the Falklands War.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41He was greeted as a hero on his return to the village.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Others were less fortunate.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47In a small village, five of us had gone off to the Falklands.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Only three of us came back.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52One killed and the other lad lost his legs.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Added to the roll call of dead from two world wars,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00a new name from 1982.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Gareth Hughes, David's best friend.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09'I knew he was in the Welsh Guards'
0:04:09 > 0:04:11and the Welsh Guards were in the Falklands.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14But I had no clue he was on the Galahad.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21It didn't feel right that we should celebrate coming back
0:04:21 > 0:04:24and with Gareth not coming back.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Dilwyn Rogers was just 20 when he went to war.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36In one of the last battles before the Argentine surrender,
0:04:36 > 0:04:3923 of his comrades were killed,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41the worst death toll of any single action.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48I did get involved with the job of putting the dead into body bags.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Some of their eyes still open.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55You know...
0:04:55 > 0:04:58you could almost see their eyes are pleading.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03But there's nothing, nothing you can do for them.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Could I have done nothing different? Would I have done nothing different?
0:05:11 > 0:05:16I'd like to go back and just put everything to bed once and for all.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26# Estirpe de nobles varones
0:05:26 > 0:05:30# Varones de temple tenaz... #
0:05:30 > 0:05:33April 2nd 1982.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Argentina invades the Falkland Islands,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39a bleak, barren relic of the British Empire
0:05:39 > 0:05:42300 miles off the coast of South America.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47The reaction of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher is swift and uncompromising.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Britain will not give up sovereignty without a fight.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55The most powerful fleet Britain has ever put to sea heads south.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58BAND PLAYS
0:06:03 > 0:06:06We got a telegram with one word - Bruneville.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09What that meant is return to base as soon as you could,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11which we did.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15And we saw it on the news just before sailing on the 6th April.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19If you'd asked me at the time, where is the Falklands,
0:06:19 > 0:06:24I'd have suggested you go top of Scotland and ask somebody for directions from there.
0:06:24 > 0:06:30It never dawned on me that it would develop into a full-blown war.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34There was a lot of bravado, euphoria.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Pretty gung-ho, really.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41And then when we got down past the Ascension Islands
0:06:41 > 0:06:45we realised we were going to be part of the big battle.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48And it took on a whole new meaning.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58A bitter air and sea war left the land troops in no doubt
0:06:58 > 0:07:00this was deadly serious.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Hostilities reached a new pitch on May 2nd
0:07:03 > 0:07:08when a navy submarine sank the Argentine cruiser, General Belgrano,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11positioned just outside the British exclusion zone.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15323 men were killed.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18The Argentine air force hit back with venom.
0:07:18 > 0:07:2220 died on the destroyer HMS Sheffield,
0:07:22 > 0:07:25all the damage done by a single Exocet missile.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29We knew there was a proper naval war going on
0:07:29 > 0:07:32and our turn would be next with the land campaign.
0:07:42 > 0:07:47After four weeks at sea, British troops reached San Carlos Water,
0:07:47 > 0:07:51well away from the mass of Argentine forces in the capital, Stanley.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Soldiers like David Jones had seen action in Northern Ireland
0:07:55 > 0:07:59but few were prepared for the new dangers they would face
0:07:59 > 0:08:00in the South Atlantic.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05A few days out we were given the opportunity to write a last letter.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09It's dated the 20th May so it's the day before we went in.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I wrote it to my father.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14"We're within hours of going in now.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16"We've been given our morphine, ammo and the final orders.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19"We're going in by landing craft.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23"The seas are pretty rough so I'm not looking forward to it."
0:08:23 > 0:08:27"The pack I'm carrying ashore is one of the heaviest I've ever carried.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31"In addition to my own kit, I'm carrying spare mortar bombs and extra ammo for the guns.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32"It weighs a tonne.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36"I don't think I'll be able to walk straight when I touch dry land.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39"How's life in Llan? Anything happening?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"I'll have to go now and I hope to hear from you soon."
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Not much of a last letter really.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03After thousands of miles at sea,
0:09:03 > 0:09:08the troops' first sight of human habitation was the settlement at San Carlos.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11But if British forces landing here were hoping for a safe haven,
0:09:11 > 0:09:16the Argentine air force, fired up by recent successes, had other ideas.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Is this where you landed, David?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Yes. 2 Para came ashore here to beach two.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Was it still dark when you landed? - Yeah, pitch dark.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34The landing was unopposed by Argentine ground forces,
0:09:34 > 0:09:37but the threat from the air was ever present.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41I personally had no idea what to expect.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44We'd never been... I'd never seen a landing craft before.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48So, it was all a new experience and not one that I liked.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52I was very scared out on the water there.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56If somebody engaged you with small arms fire, you're all confined,
0:09:56 > 0:09:58in one of those things like sardines.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03If a shell tips you over, you're in the water with your packs.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You wouldn't have a chance, nobody could swim from there.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Nervous. Excitement. Apprehension.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14As we were coming in we were passing Fanning Head, which is over there.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18There was a firefight going on over there.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Being in the landing craft, we felt quite vulnerable
0:10:21 > 0:10:23because first light was breaking up
0:10:23 > 0:10:27and any aircraft coming in, we'd have been sitting ducks.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31The propellers of the landing craft were snagging in the kelp
0:10:31 > 0:10:33so they were unable to get us in.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36They brought in two smaller landing craft and these got us in close to land
0:10:36 > 0:10:39and with a jump, we managed to get ashore with dry feet.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45By the time Steve Dawkins landed here
0:10:45 > 0:10:48with the second wave of troops from 5th Infantry Brigade,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51the beachhead at San Carlos was well established
0:10:51 > 0:10:54and the nickname Bomb Alley well earned.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58It was scary. I could see the look of fear on my two guys faces
0:10:58 > 0:11:01who were at action stations with us.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04They were petrified and I was probably the same.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07We knew people were going to get hurt.
0:11:07 > 0:11:08We knew people were going to die.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10We knew it could possibly be us.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16We were quickly spotted by the Argentinian air force
0:11:16 > 0:11:18and they took their toll.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Every night there was a casualty report.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27Another ship had been hit and they'd announce the number of casualties
0:11:27 > 0:11:29and it became very, very real.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38For several days, dug in with 2 Para on the high ground above San Carlos,
0:11:38 > 0:11:43David had a grandstand view of the havoc wreaked by Argentine fighter jets.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52We're on Sussex Mountains now in the middle of 2 Para's positions
0:11:52 > 0:11:55back in 1982.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59As you can see, the remnants of 2 Para's visit are still here.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02The camouflage netting is still here.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05You can see it all around.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Some sandbags.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09The remnants are still here.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Also, you can see some rations here.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Beef paste, no, cheese tin.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Biscuits. Fruit. AB.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25These were all part of the rations that were issued at the time.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36You can see behind me, 2 Para had a fantastic view over San Carlos
0:12:36 > 0:12:40which later became notorious as Bomb Alley.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46I remember one night when I was on stag, on watch, here,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48the Antelope was in the bay.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53We later learned they were trying to diffuse a bomb inside the boat.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55It went off.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02A massive explosion lit up the whole area. Broke the ship's back.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04It sank down there.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09HMS Antelope was one among many.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Three quarters of British fighting ships were sunk or damaged
0:13:13 > 0:13:14around the Falklands.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18The Argentines would come over these hills here.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Do their bombing run, strafing run, on the ships.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23We could see a few of them getting shot down
0:13:23 > 0:13:26by the ship's missiles or machines guns, whatever they had.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31MACHINE GUN FIRE
0:13:46 > 0:13:49The outer aircraft fire would follow them up
0:13:49 > 0:13:52and they'd come up the valley here and come directly over us.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05As they would come up here,
0:14:05 > 0:14:082 Para would put up a wall of small arms fire.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Some lads would be lying on their backs shooting straight up.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14It would be like a curtain of lead. They would have to fly through it.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23There was quite obvious damage we caused because high octane
0:14:23 > 0:14:27would drift on us and you could smell on it and feel it on you.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Very, very high.
0:14:36 > 0:14:41The troops here were eager to get on and get at the Argentines.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44And then we moved on to Goose Green and the battle ensued from there.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58As David headed south to Goose Green with 2 Para,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Royal Engineer Dilwyn Rogers, attached to 3 Para,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04went east towards Stanley.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Most of Britain's helicopters had been lost when the cargo ship
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Atlantic Conveyor was destroyed by Exocet missiles.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15There was no choice but to move on foot, weighed down with kit and ammunition.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20The weather was against us, the conditions were against us.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23It was a shit hole, excuse the phrase.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Very few tracks.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31And undulating, wet, boggy, windy.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Your feet were wet from day one but it's what you're trained for
0:15:36 > 0:15:41and despite a few mutterings, everybody just got on with it.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Meanwhile, 2 Para pushed on south to Darwin and Goose Green.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53A gravel road now makes the journey easier than it was 30 years ago.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58This is the scene of the first land battle of the war
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and for David, one of 2 Para's finest hours.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03A single battalion 600 strong
0:16:03 > 0:16:07took on an Argentine garrison of more than a thousand.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09The battle may never have taken place
0:16:09 > 0:16:11if the true odds were known.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16I heard the command given to the rifle companies, fix bayonets.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18That brought me home
0:16:18 > 0:16:21to the reality of what the situation was.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24You'd be a liar if you said you weren't scared.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31The direction I travelled was coming over down to this area
0:16:31 > 0:16:35which was the regimental aid post.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39As you can see, the debris of war is still in the area here.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Some ammo boxes or some cases.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48There was a lot of shelling and mortar firing going on here.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I got bowled over with that.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53I clearly remember being a bit dazed and coming to
0:16:53 > 0:16:56and seeing a smouldering shell hole.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03We continued walking that way and over towards the Darwin direction.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17The taking of Darwin Hill was a key objective,
0:17:17 > 0:17:20but it cost the life of David's commanding officer,
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Lieutenant Colonel H Jones.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Shot leading from the front in an act of almost reckless bravery
0:17:27 > 0:17:29that won him a posthumous Victoria Cross.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36The Argentines were well dug in,
0:17:36 > 0:17:41much better prepared than expected and with strength in depth.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44This is one of the surviving Argentine trenches
0:17:44 > 0:17:47or bunker positions on Darwin Hill.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52The rubbish of war you can still see here, Argentine blankets.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Very well positioned.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00It's given them an advantage over this open ground here.
0:18:01 > 0:18:07You can see how exposed 2 Para's advance was over seven kilometres towards this area.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11We came under fire coming down that track.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13We had dashed down onto the beach.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17The mortar bomb landed about 10 foot away from me
0:18:17 > 0:18:21and just buried itself into the shingle with its fins out
0:18:21 > 0:18:24and it didn't explode. I was very, very lucky there.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29We had to come out and make a dash for it into the gorse gully here
0:18:29 > 0:18:34where A Company had very heavy fighting and sustained a lot of casualties.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45The battle over, and the gorse and peat still smouldering,
0:18:45 > 0:18:482 Para counted the cost.
0:18:48 > 0:18:5317 dead, 36 wounded.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58On the Argentine side the losses were much heavier
0:18:58 > 0:19:00and hundreds of troops had surrendered.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It's a testament to the skill, determination and courage
0:19:08 > 0:19:10of the soldiers of the Parachute Regiment.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Hip-hip!- Hurray!
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- Hip-hip!- Hurray!- Hip-hip!- Hurray!
0:19:19 > 0:19:23In the village of Goose Green, the Paras celebrated with families
0:19:23 > 0:19:27who'd been held captive for weeks in the community hall.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35More pressing what to do with over a thousand Argentine prisoners of war?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38David was one of the soldiers tasked with keeping them
0:19:38 > 0:19:42under guard in giant sheep sheds on the edge of the settlement.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46There were jobs to do and the Paras soon set their captives to work.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53The work party I was in charge of, my task was to write POW
0:19:53 > 0:19:59and the Spanish equivalent, PG, on these sheep sheds,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03on the sides and on the roof.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07I was speaking with some local inhabitants here earlier on today
0:20:07 > 0:20:11and they wish they could find the same paint we used,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14as this paint has lasted 30 years and it's still visible here
0:20:14 > 0:20:18and they've had to paint different areas many times since.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31The men of 2 Para who'd fallen in battle
0:20:31 > 0:20:35were buried in a temporary mass grave overlooking the sea.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Lieutenant Colonel Jones.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Captain Wood.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Captain Dent.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47It was a sobering reminder that this was a brutal shooting war.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50But there was worse to come.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Corporal Prior.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57At the start of June, more British troops came ashore
0:20:57 > 0:20:59with 5 Brigade at San Carlos.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Among them the Welsh Guards and medics from 16 Field Ambulance.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09They were then taken by sea to the south of the island
0:21:09 > 0:21:12in preparation for the assault on Stanley.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Their journey brought them to the sheltered waters of Fitzroy
0:21:18 > 0:21:21aboard the supply ship Sir Galahad.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26It was a day very much like it is today.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Beautiful, pristine, blue skies.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Absolutely clear.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32And then...
0:21:32 > 0:21:37aircraft came in from left to right.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40The Galahad was behind the headland over there,
0:21:40 > 0:21:45along with the Tristram, offloading, when they hit us.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Then all hell broke loose.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02There was smoke, bullets ricocheting,
0:22:02 > 0:22:06ammunition exploding, mortars exploding.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10There were bodies coming out of everywhere.
0:22:10 > 0:22:15All this time, the smoke, the fire was coming out of the tank deck right by us.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20We needed to see if there was anybody else we could help.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24But we couldn't get in there, we couldn't use the breathing apparatus,
0:22:24 > 0:22:26we didn't know how to use it,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29and the heat that was coming out and the smoke,
0:22:29 > 0:22:31just couldn't get down to the poor buggers.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34You could hear them. You could hear them down there.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36We couldn't do anything for them.
0:22:38 > 0:22:4350 were killed, many more badly burned or injured.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Squeeze his arm.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Steve's training as a medic was called upon as never before.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54There's people with limbs missing, people with horrendous burns
0:22:54 > 0:22:58with skin just dripping off their face and hands.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Some were screaming.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02You didn't mind the screamers, you knew they were going to be all right.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06It was the ones that were in shock you needed to give the priority to.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Among the first on the scene were David and comrades from 2 Para,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15recently arrived from Goose Green.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20When they were coming to shore in their dinghies and rowing boats,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23quite suddenly you realised they were Welsh Guards.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26We were helping them ashore here. Pulling on the boats.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Come on! Pull it! Come on!
0:23:30 > 0:23:33But David had no inkling that among the victims
0:23:33 > 0:23:37was his best friend, Gareth Hughes.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39I'd known him for ever, basically.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Prior to infant school and onwards from then.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46He joined the Welsh Guards a few years before me
0:23:46 > 0:23:48and I joined the Parachute Regiment.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52On the day, we knew there's fatalities on the boat.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Who and how many, I didn't have a clue.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59As the campaign progressed on the Falklands
0:23:59 > 0:24:02I became aware that the bulk of the Welsh Guards
0:24:02 > 0:24:05are among the numbers involved.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I certainly didn't know Gareth had been killed.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13We need two stretchers urgently!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18I can see the guys coming in, rowing in,
0:24:18 > 0:24:23and the guys from 2 Para pulling them out up to their waist in water.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29Just being here, I can feel the cold of the water on my legs.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Smell... I can smell the burns.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35I can smell the burnt hair.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I can remember every single detail of that day.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43It was hell.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45It was hell.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52No fighting army can function without medics.
0:24:52 > 0:24:5516 Field Ambulance came to the Falklands not to take lives
0:24:55 > 0:25:00but to save them, regardless of what side the casualties were on.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Among the medics on the Galahad were two of Steve's closest comrades,
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Lance Corporal Ian "Scouse" Farrell and Private Kenny Preston.
0:25:09 > 0:25:15Kenny and Scouse were good mates and the section corporal asked me
0:25:15 > 0:25:17to tell me to get their arse down to the tank deck
0:25:17 > 0:25:19because they were prepping to go off.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22They were attached to the Welsh Guards.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24I saw them in the galley and I said,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27"You two, get your arse down to the tank deck."
0:25:29 > 0:25:33And it was moments later, minutes later, that the explosion happened.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38They were sitting on top of the mortar ammunition
0:25:38 > 0:25:40when they were last seen alive.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48I think the only, only thing I can take away from that
0:25:48 > 0:25:53is they probably died instantly and didn't suffer as others had done.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58If I hadn't said anything, hadn't seen them,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01they'd probably still be alive today.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06You just blame yourself and you wrap yourself up in that guilt
0:26:06 > 0:26:09and you keep it to yourself.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12You don't want anybody to know that you're, you're a bad man.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I felt like a bad man.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Maybe that's how murderers feel when they've killed somebody.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30I need closure. I need to say goodbye to the lads.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I never really said goodbye to the lads.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Yes, we've had memorial services but I want to speak to them personally.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38They're here, they're out there somewhere...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40in a watery grave.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I've got to say goodbye to them.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49That's personal to me. It's personal, sorry...
0:26:49 > 0:26:51HE SOBS
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Sorry, guys.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14(Sorry. So sorry.)
0:27:17 > 0:27:25# Goodness and mercy all my life
0:27:25 > 0:27:31# Shall surely follow me... #
0:27:31 > 0:27:35With the wreck of the Galahad smouldering in the background,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38the survivors held a memorial service for the dead
0:27:38 > 0:27:41on the deck of her sister ship, Sir Tristram.
0:27:41 > 0:27:47# ..My dwelling place shall be. #
0:27:47 > 0:27:50That was probably the first time I showed any emotion.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55We started off with a prayer, dedication
0:27:55 > 0:27:59and the Welsh National anthem.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Gwlad, gwlad... #
0:28:03 > 0:28:06That's when I broke down.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I couldn't bring myself to sing it.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12I think it brought it all home to us that, you know,
0:28:12 > 0:28:14we'd lost people we cared about.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19# I'r bur hoff bau
0:28:19 > 0:28:27# O bydded i'r hen iaith barhau. #
0:28:28 > 0:28:34Names were read out by the RSM of the Welsh Guards.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36LAST POST
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Lance Corporal Nicholas David Mark Thomas.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Guardsman Gareth Hughes.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50Each one in turn and then they came to our unit.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Names of my mates.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Lance Corporal Ian Farrell.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Private Kenny Preston.
0:29:04 > 0:29:05It was emotional.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08I think it brought it home that they were gone.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10They wouldn't be coming back.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20The loss of the Galahad at Fitzroy was the worst setback of the war
0:29:20 > 0:29:24and slowed the final assault on Stanley at a point
0:29:24 > 0:29:28when the British Army was running out of time and resources.
0:29:28 > 0:29:33Most of the Argentine strength was concentrated in Stanley
0:29:33 > 0:29:37or dug into the high ground that circles the town like a fortress.
0:29:38 > 0:29:43Opening the way was the toughest objective of all - Mount Longdon.
0:29:44 > 0:29:473 Para would attack under cover of darkness
0:29:47 > 0:29:52and Dilwyn Rogers was with them every step of the way.
0:29:54 > 0:29:59As you can see, down to our left, this is the approach route we took,
0:29:59 > 0:30:04from Estancia House, came over that shoulder, down into the open ground
0:30:04 > 0:30:08and before us, here, you can see how exposed it is,
0:30:08 > 0:30:11it was believed it was one big minefield.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14The plan was, rather than try and clear a route through,
0:30:14 > 0:30:18we'd walk through the minefield and take the casualties.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22Unfortunately, one of the guys from Air Company stood on a mine
0:30:22 > 0:30:25and that's when the silent approach went noisy.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27After that, all hell let loose.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31EXPLOSION
0:30:32 > 0:30:38There was flares going up and there was just rounds flying to-and-fro
0:30:38 > 0:30:41and as you look up now, you see all these rocks,
0:30:41 > 0:30:44it's a formidable defensive position.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47It goes back in stages so there was defence in depth.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49EXPLOSION
0:30:54 > 0:30:58Over here to the right, they set up the regimental aid post,
0:30:58 > 0:31:02and this is where all the casualties were to be brought.
0:31:02 > 0:31:08At first light we were asked to conduct some casualty evacuation.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11There was still fierce fighting going up
0:31:11 > 0:31:14and a lot of it was close and personal, you know?
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Very traumatic stuff.
0:31:16 > 0:31:21That's when it became apparent how much casualties had been sustained.
0:31:21 > 0:31:26For the rest of the day, really, we were carrying these casualties.
0:31:26 > 0:31:32We were coming down this gully here and bringing them to the regimental aid post, known as the RAP,
0:31:32 > 0:31:35and then back up again, back and forth.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39Meanwhile, there's fighting going on, bullets flying everywhere
0:31:39 > 0:31:43and this continuous barrage of artillery from the Argentinians.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45EXPLOSION
0:31:53 > 0:31:54EXPLOSION
0:31:54 > 0:31:58It was difficult. Guys were slipping off the stretcher.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02You're doing your best to hold them on without causing any further pain.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07We were coming round on a stretcher
0:32:07 > 0:32:10and an Argentinian soldier came up from some rocks.
0:32:10 > 0:32:15I had my left hand on the stretcher and my right hand on the riffle.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17I thought, "What do we do here?"
0:32:17 > 0:32:21There was some guys from B Company over my left shoulder shouting, "Shoot him, shoot him!"
0:32:21 > 0:32:26Somebody else was over here saying, "Shoot him, shoot him!" I fired a couple of rounds at him.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29Realistically, I don't know whether I hit him,
0:32:29 > 0:32:34but the other guys around me opened up and this guy went down. He wasn't a problem any more.
0:32:37 > 0:32:41He could have killed us so I have no problems with that.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47You join the Army, you have to accept you may well have to kill somebody.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50It's not ideal, but that's the profession you've joined.
0:32:52 > 0:32:57On the British side, 23 soldiers were killed,
0:32:57 > 0:32:59and 47 wounded.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03The highest toll of any single battle.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10This area is where all the dead were placed.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15They were all lined up here in a row.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21At some stage they had to be put in body bags.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25I was one of the individuals given that task.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29It, erm...
0:33:30 > 0:33:33..it wasn't a pleasant task - obviously not.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39The body bags weren't very accommodating.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43It was very tight and difficult to get them into the bags.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48Erm...
0:33:48 > 0:33:51sometimes you had to sit them up
0:33:51 > 0:33:55and force the oxygen out of the lungs through the vocal chords.
0:33:55 > 0:34:00And then, "Whoa," I thought they were still alive and called the medic over.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02And, erm...
0:34:03 > 0:34:07..he'd correct you quickly - "Stupid bugger!"
0:34:08 > 0:34:10So...
0:34:10 > 0:34:13a lot of times I'd put them into the bags
0:34:13 > 0:34:17and some of them still had their eyes wide open.
0:34:17 > 0:34:21That's some sort of indication of how sudden death came to them.
0:34:21 > 0:34:26Some of the guys here were 17, 18.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30And amongst them were some very experienced soldiers.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33And, you know, well...
0:34:34 > 0:34:40..it just highlighted how... vulnerable we really all are.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Quite a lot of them,
0:34:46 > 0:34:50it was difficult to tell how they'd died, you know?
0:34:51 > 0:34:55They seemed to have no marks on them but, you know, it doesn't take much.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04We treated them with as much dignity as possible.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10I don't think we'd have caused any offence to anybody
0:35:10 > 0:35:13if they'd seen the way we'd dealt with them.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15They were dealt with the greatest respect
0:35:15 > 0:35:17and it was sad.
0:35:27 > 0:35:33Bitter close quarter battles in the mountains opened the way to Stanley.
0:35:33 > 0:35:38More and more Argentine soldiers, many of them young conscripts,
0:35:38 > 0:35:40lacked the stomach for continued fighting.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48In the daylight you could see all Argentinians pouring down
0:35:48 > 0:35:51from all directions,
0:35:51 > 0:35:53all making a B-line back to Stanley.
0:35:53 > 0:35:57The announcement was made that white flags were up over Stanley.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Negotiations will start tonight.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03There is a white flag flying over Stanley.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Bloody marvellous.
0:36:10 > 0:36:14Once you got into Stanley, it was quite chaotic, really.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17There was Argentinians everywhere.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21Then you had 2 and 3 Para pouring in from one end.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26Then you had Marines coming down, Guards from different directions.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28It was just chaos.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31It just seemed like we were mingling with the Argentinians.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34There didn't seem to be any plan as to what to do with them.
0:36:34 > 0:36:39I remember looking at the Argentinians thinking, "Christ, some of these look young."
0:36:40 > 0:36:44An Argentinian officer spoke to me. His English was very good.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46He thought we all looked young.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48All young together.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Madness.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58Thousands of Argentine prisoners, almost too many to handle,
0:36:58 > 0:37:03and everywhere, discarded weapons, bullets and explosives.
0:37:04 > 0:37:09With the Argentinians having streamed down from the mountains into Stanley,
0:37:09 > 0:37:14obviously, they were ditching kit as they went along so there was helmets, weapons, coats, blankets.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17Doors wide open, people rummaging for food and what have you.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24The rubbish of war was here.
0:37:24 > 0:37:29Container boxes on the way in full of munition stores,
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Argentine artillery lines were here,
0:37:32 > 0:37:37gun lines and all the abandoned helicopters.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Thousands of Argentine soldiers
0:37:39 > 0:37:42walking about here, looking quite dejected.
0:37:42 > 0:37:47And they were a really sorry state.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50They were feeling sorry for themselves as well.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53A lot were huddled in blankets, walking around.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55I'm sure they were glad that it had finished.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05We were sent down one day to a shed at the back, here,
0:38:05 > 0:38:08to look after some Argentinian engineers.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12They were supposed to be directing us as to where the minefield was
0:38:12 > 0:38:13and to help us clear it.
0:38:15 > 0:38:20I started talking to them in English and asked them where they came from.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23He said, "I come from Puerto Madryn."
0:38:23 > 0:38:27There was a blank look on my face and I said, "Where's that, then?"
0:38:27 > 0:38:30And he said, he explained that it was in Patagonia.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33I'd heard of Patagonia and aware of the Welsh link there.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36I jokingly asked him if he spoke Welsh and he replied, "Yes."
0:38:36 > 0:38:39It was a bit of a shock. I started talking Welsh to the lad.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42He made the gesture of offering me this.
0:38:43 > 0:38:461,000 pesos.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49Yeah, a strange experience.
0:38:49 > 0:38:54I hadn't given it much thought on the way down - Patagonia, Argentina.
0:39:12 > 0:39:17David and Dilwyn are visiting the Argentine cemetery in Darwin.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21It's a memorial and final resting place for soldiers killed
0:39:21 > 0:39:25not just at Darwin and Goose Green but throughout the conflict.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32The war cost the lives of 649 Argentinians.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37There's always a sadness to every cemetery
0:39:37 > 0:39:41but, particularly with this one, I notice so many of the graves
0:39:41 > 0:39:46marked, "An Argentine soldier known only unto God",
0:39:46 > 0:39:50which is particularly sad, and there's a high percentage of them here,
0:39:50 > 0:39:55which I think is a sad reflection on the way the Argentines have treated their dead.
0:40:03 > 0:40:08There's every chance that David and Dilwyn played a direct part
0:40:08 > 0:40:13in battles that cost the lives of Argentine soldiers buried here.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18I may well have contributed to the death of one individual.
0:40:20 > 0:40:25If I was responsible, it's something I have to accept and deal with it.
0:40:46 > 0:40:50There's no shortage of memorials for the British dead.
0:40:50 > 0:40:55Signs everywhere of the islanders' gratitude for sacrifices made.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59In all, 255 died.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02Each one a father, son,
0:41:02 > 0:41:05brother, friend.
0:41:05 > 0:41:10And for David, his best friend, Gareth Hughes.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13I knew the Welsh Guards were on board The Galahad,
0:41:13 > 0:41:16and that they sustained casualties.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19I don't think I knew at the time the extent of the casualties
0:41:19 > 0:41:21or who the casualties were.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Once we were in Stanley here after the surrender,
0:41:28 > 0:41:31I received a letter from a church minister,
0:41:31 > 0:41:36from a chaplain in Llanfairfechan called Mr OJ Pritchard,
0:41:36 > 0:41:41and in that letter, he informed me that Gareth had been killed.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45It's dated 15th June 1982.
0:41:48 > 0:41:52I'll try and summarise it, it's written in Welsh.
0:41:52 > 0:41:56"There's a great deal of sadness in Llanfair
0:41:56 > 0:42:00"knowing that Gareth Hughes was killed.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03"As one who's there, his mother and father
0:42:03 > 0:42:08"would be very grateful of any information you could give them."
0:42:11 > 0:42:13It was a big shock.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16And very sad at it as well.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22Returning there and knowing the family,
0:42:22 > 0:42:24seeing his mother and father,
0:42:24 > 0:42:28a great deal of survivors' guilt comes into it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31Why am I there and he's not?
0:42:47 > 0:42:52The cemetery at San Carlos commemorates all the British dead.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Many bodies were repatriated to the UK.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Some were laid to rest in Falkland soil.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02'It's peaceful.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05'It's a place of peace.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10'For all the hell they went through.'
0:43:22 > 0:43:24The Galahad was sunk as a war grave.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30The names of her dead are etched in stone.
0:43:30 > 0:43:36They deserve every credit for their heroism,
0:43:36 > 0:43:38however big, however small.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46It's a worthy monument.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49It's good to see my two mates' names inscribed.
0:43:49 > 0:43:54Lost at sea. Buried somewhere out there in the South Atlantic.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12Today, the Falklands are prospering,
0:44:12 > 0:44:18thanks to lucrative fisheries, tourism and oil exploration offshore.
0:44:18 > 0:44:23Most of the 3,000 inhabitants cling proudly to the emblems of Britishness.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27And amid growing sabre-rattling from Argentina,
0:44:27 > 0:44:31and claims that Britain is militarising the South Atlantic,
0:44:31 > 0:44:34the UK is committed to reassuring the islanders
0:44:34 > 0:44:38with what it calls a minimal deterrence force.
0:44:38 > 0:44:41There's a large garrison at Mount Pleasant,
0:44:41 > 0:44:44numbering around 1,200 military personnel.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48And as well as an infantry company and a Royal Navy patrol vessel,
0:44:48 > 0:44:53four state-of-the-art Typhoon fighter aircraft are stationed here.
0:44:54 > 0:44:59The UK has no truck with Argentina's continued sovereignty claim,
0:44:59 > 0:45:02and says the territory will remain British
0:45:02 > 0:45:05for as long as the islanders want it to.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13I've seen it in a completely new light.
0:45:13 > 0:45:17You've only got to look at Stanley,
0:45:17 > 0:45:19they've all got a good quality of life.
0:45:19 > 0:45:24It's good to see how the place has developed and it's thriving.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28It is worthwhile because it has secured their way of life,
0:45:28 > 0:45:33and hopefully it will allow them to self-determine their future.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37We haven't seen the layout of the land of Goose Green and Longdon.
0:45:37 > 0:45:42It drives home the courage and skill that was required
0:45:42 > 0:45:46to achieve both objectives and a greater respect than ever
0:45:46 > 0:45:50for both Second and Third Para battalions, it's awesome.
0:45:50 > 0:45:56It was good to walk in the footsteps of warriors
0:45:56 > 0:45:59and the bravery of those guys to take those objectives,
0:45:59 > 0:46:01hats off to you guys.
0:46:06 > 0:46:09From the Argentine invasion on April 2nd 1982
0:46:09 > 0:46:13to the surrender on June 14th,
0:46:13 > 0:46:17the conflict had lasted just 74 days.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21Steve was happy to head home aboard the hospital ship Uganda.
0:46:21 > 0:46:25I ran the bar, so we had all this excess beer,
0:46:25 > 0:46:29and we had access to spirits as well if it was somebody's birthday
0:46:29 > 0:46:32so every three or four days somebody had a birthday,
0:46:32 > 0:46:35so we partied on the way back and we partied hard.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38TRUMPET PLAYS: "When The Saints Go Marching In"
0:46:42 > 0:46:47I think that set the tone then for how I became,
0:46:47 > 0:46:49what I was when I came back.
0:46:51 > 0:46:52A piss-head.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55SHIP'S HORN BLARES
0:47:02 > 0:47:08The reception we got at Southampton Docks was out of this world.
0:47:08 > 0:47:09It was phenomenal.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12I'd never seen so much red, white and blue.
0:47:12 > 0:47:13A bit overwhelming.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16We didn't see what all the fuss was about, really.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19But we enjoyed it, it was a spectacle.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23And we were sent away on five weeks' leave.
0:47:23 > 0:47:27And that's when the problems started, I think.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29We were thrown into an alien environment
0:47:29 > 0:47:32with girlfriends, mothers, and one thing or another,
0:47:32 > 0:47:36who didn't realise what we'd been through.
0:47:36 > 0:47:37But we never talked about it.
0:47:37 > 0:47:42It wasn't the manly thing to do. We suffered in silence.
0:47:43 > 0:47:47I went to my parents' and the bunting was out,
0:47:47 > 0:47:50"Welcome home, Steve", and one thing and another.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52I didn't want it.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55I thought it was over the top.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57I just wanted to go to the pub.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59All I wanted was a pint.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01And then another pint.
0:48:03 > 0:48:08I was so angry when I came back. Very, very angry.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10That combined with my alcohol intake,
0:48:10 > 0:48:13it made me totally intolerable to live with.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18At its height, I was probably on a bottle of spirits a day.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21Just to...just to get to sleep.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25The nightmares were so vivid.
0:48:28 > 0:48:32One recurring one was being trapped in flames,
0:48:32 > 0:48:36not being able to rescue somebody. Somebody I didn't know.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39He was always too far out of reach. And then the fire consumed him.
0:48:43 > 0:48:50It wasn't until later on that I started having really horrific nightmares,
0:48:50 > 0:48:53and waking nightmares, flashbacks.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58I was back there on the deck of The Galahad.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01With all the noise with it as well.
0:49:03 > 0:49:08The crackles of the small arms going off in the deck. The screaming.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Then it all died down.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15You knew what was happening when the screams stopped.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18The poor bastards were dying.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20There was nothing we could do about it.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22Nothing.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35The Paras missed out on the flag-waving crowds at Southampton Docks.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37They were flown back from Ascension Island
0:49:37 > 0:49:41to be greeted by families at RAF Brize Norton.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44The following weekend after we went home,
0:49:44 > 0:49:48there was a civic reception if you like,
0:49:48 > 0:49:52a do in the village where they presented us with cups and all this.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55I didn't really want to be involved with it.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59I'm thankful for the people of Llanfairfechan for doing it for me
0:49:59 > 0:50:04but at the time, you didn't think it was the right thing to do.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I didn't think of myself as a returning hero at all.
0:50:09 > 0:50:10Jimmy!
0:50:11 > 0:50:14Jimmy! Jimmy!
0:50:14 > 0:50:18One of the lads from our troop, there was a party for him in Liverpool when he got home.
0:50:18 > 0:50:22I thought, "Ooh. Oh, I don't think I want that."
0:50:25 > 0:50:28But it was out of my hands, really.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31It was a strange party, to be honest with you.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33I tried to do a runner with my mate
0:50:33 > 0:50:36up the back garden and over the field,
0:50:36 > 0:50:39but my mother spotted us.
0:50:39 > 0:50:44Cos it was a street party, there was no alcohol!
0:50:46 > 0:50:50Once the party was over, it was a beeline to the pub.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56With the attention comes the questions.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59"Did you kill anybody?"
0:51:03 > 0:51:06You shouldn't ask anybody that question, really.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Steve left the army after the first Gulf War,
0:51:20 > 0:51:22short of his ambition to serve 22 years
0:51:22 > 0:51:25and become a commissioned officer.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28He was becoming seriously depressed.
0:51:28 > 0:51:32There was no real anger, there was no real emotion.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35There was just a big pit that I'd fallen into
0:51:35 > 0:51:39and I just wasn't getting out of.
0:51:39 > 0:51:40Huge, dark hole.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47I just wanted to be well, I just wanted the darkness to go.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49The sadness.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52Overwhelming sadness.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59I'd lost me.
0:51:59 > 0:52:04I was grieving for me who wasn't there, it just was not me.
0:52:05 > 0:52:09For many years now, Steve has worked as a medical safety officer
0:52:09 > 0:52:11on North Sea oil rigs.
0:52:11 > 0:52:15Ten years ago, when he was forced to go off sick with depression,
0:52:15 > 0:52:18his employer persuaded him to get help.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22If you'd have asked me ten years ago to talk about the Falklands,
0:52:23 > 0:52:26I would've told you where to get off.
0:52:26 > 0:52:30One, because you're a civilian and two, you weren't there,
0:52:30 > 0:52:32and three, you're not my mate.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34I think that's...
0:52:36 > 0:52:37..half the battle.
0:52:38 > 0:52:43Coming to terms with any form of illness, stress,
0:52:43 > 0:52:46is to be able to talk about it.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50And counselling has taught me that when things are bad,
0:52:50 > 0:52:52don't bottle them up.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Get the right help.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02David returned to Llanfairfechan
0:53:02 > 0:53:04without his best friend, Gareth Hughes.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08Soon afterwards he married Ceri, Gareth's sister,
0:53:08 > 0:53:10and they had two daughters.
0:53:11 > 0:53:15The marriage ended and he's now met a new partner, Dorothy.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17They live together in Snowdonia.
0:53:21 > 0:53:26I recently got engaged and we'll be marrying in the next 18 months or so.
0:53:28 > 0:53:32Looking to the future, that's what I've always done. You've got to.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33You can't dwell in the past at all.
0:53:37 > 0:53:42Dilwyn regrets leaving the army too early, aged just 30.
0:53:42 > 0:53:47He now lives near Caernarfon and is married with two young sons.
0:53:47 > 0:53:50Llun ohonyn nhw yn saethu a mae nhw'n parachutio.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53Ac aeroplane yn crashio mewn iddo fo.
0:53:53 > 0:53:57'My youngest, he's been army barmy for the last two years,
0:53:57 > 0:54:02'and his perspective of war obviously is very different.
0:54:02 > 0:54:04'It's all about "What team were you in, Daddy?" '
0:54:04 > 0:54:07"What team? What gun did you have?"
0:54:09 > 0:54:11But...
0:54:11 > 0:54:15I don't think they know what questions to ask yet.
0:54:17 > 0:54:19- They've got a Chinook.- A Chinook.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24'If they really want to join the army...'
0:54:26 > 0:54:29..it'd be unfair to stop them.
0:54:29 > 0:54:30How can I?
0:54:31 > 0:54:34I've been there. I loved it.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
0:54:36 > 0:54:39Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
0:54:39 > 0:54:41With Afghanistan...
0:54:43 > 0:54:46All the casualties coming back from there.
0:54:48 > 0:54:53You'd hate to see your child coming back having lost a limb.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56Just because you let them, so...
0:54:56 > 0:54:58It's a difficult one.
0:54:58 > 0:54:59Bang! Bang! Bang!
0:54:59 > 0:55:03Doof! Doof! Doof! Doof!
0:55:05 > 0:55:11Steve has been married and divorced three times and has five children.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15He's now settled near Neath with his new partner, Noelle.
0:55:15 > 0:55:18'I'm certainly sleeping a lot, lot better.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24'There'll be anniversaries and memories,'
0:55:24 > 0:55:27and I'm sure there'll be a few more tears.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33I'll always have a lump in my throat for the Last Post,
0:55:33 > 0:55:35our national anthem.
0:55:35 > 0:55:39'These are things that sort of trigger the sorrow.
0:55:39 > 0:55:43'I'm well on the road to recovery.
0:55:43 > 0:55:45'But only time will tell.'
0:55:58 > 0:56:03I think it's been well worth the trip, I wish I'd done it earlier.
0:56:09 > 0:56:13A lot of emotion, a lot of emotion.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15Deeply upset at Fitzroy.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23I said my goodbyes, I said sorry to the lads.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31Was Kenny's and Scouse's life worth it?
0:56:31 > 0:56:35Their parents would have a different outlook on it.
0:56:37 > 0:56:40Sacrifices have to be made in war.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44And to that end, yes, it was worth it.
0:57:02 > 0:57:05There'll always be an element of survivor guilt there
0:57:05 > 0:57:09and the last 30 years, I don't think a day passes
0:57:09 > 0:57:13when you don't think of one aspect or another.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19Sometimes you think, "should you have done that?", or
0:57:19 > 0:57:24"would you have done something else that would've changed the course of events?"
0:57:24 > 0:57:27but in reality, there's nothing you could've done.
0:57:37 > 0:57:40Getting the opportunity to visit some of the memorials
0:57:40 > 0:57:44and perhaps just to clear a few lingering doubts in my mind.
0:57:46 > 0:57:48Couldn't have done anything different,
0:57:48 > 0:57:50wouldn't have done anything different
0:57:50 > 0:57:53and having stood on Longdon and looked at the terrain,
0:57:53 > 0:57:57I think, "No, I couldn't have done anything different"
0:57:57 > 0:58:00and really, I wouldn't have, so I can put that to bed.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08I can remember the faces of the dead.
0:58:10 > 0:58:14I use that to put things into perspective.
0:58:15 > 0:58:19A lot of the guys made the ultimate sacrifice,
0:58:19 > 0:58:22and they've not had the opportunities that I have,
0:58:22 > 0:58:24so I think I'm duty-bound to carry on with life
0:58:24 > 0:58:27and make the very best of it.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49Subtitling by Red Bee Media Ltd