0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting
0:00:24 > 0:00:27It was May 7th, 1981.
0:00:27 > 0:00:32I'd seen the advertisements about this new video cassette recorder machine...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34so I bought one.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39The news came on, and I hits record.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45It sort of dawned on me, "This is the first draft of history."
0:00:45 > 0:00:46And I kept it.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52And then the next night, doing the next night's news,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54and then the next night's news.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57There was something about me had to record all this violence
0:00:57 > 0:01:00and explosions and bombs and killings and funerals...
0:01:01 > 0:01:05..that just grew and grew and grew over the years.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11It's the best private collection in Ireland.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13If you were watching it 24 hours a day,
0:01:13 > 0:01:16it would take you 83 days to watch it all.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Primarily, it's a history, and it's a history of
0:01:36 > 0:01:41what the people of Northern Ireland suffered
0:01:41 > 0:01:44since, in this case, 1981.
0:01:48 > 0:01:55This is it, this is the individual families' suffering over 30 years.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59A lot of the news reports would have maybe only been a minute long,
0:01:59 > 0:02:00about a death,
0:02:00 > 0:02:02or two or three deaths sometimes there was a bulletin on,
0:02:02 > 0:02:05and that's how immune we had become here to that,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07it was an everyday occurrence.
0:02:07 > 0:02:12But for those families, that minute on the news was possibly
0:02:12 > 0:02:15the destruction of that family, and the psychological
0:02:15 > 0:02:19damage and trauma that was done to the survivors in that family.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37To date, now, I think there'd be over 2,000 hours recorded.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41One of the strange things about this,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43out of all that collection, I don't have my own.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I have all them other people,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50but I haven't got coverage of mine.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01OK, then.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- OK.- I found the tape.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Clifton Park Avenue.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16OK.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17"26-year-old man seriously wounded
0:03:17 > 0:03:20"after being shot at through glass door of his living room.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22"His father, visiting at the time,
0:03:22 > 0:03:26"collapsed of a heart attack at the front doorstep and later died."
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- "House with..."- "G/V's house..."
0:03:29 > 0:03:34- "..house, with army patrol passing by."- Have a look at, yeah?- Yeah.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yes.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48That's my house, there. Just where he's passing.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's amazing, it looks very normal
0:03:56 > 0:03:59yet our family was in devastation.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04No sound with it?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Hmm.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17I was expecting it to be maybe a longer bulletin, maybe have other...
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- There seem to be not very many stories from that date.- Yes.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- But...- There's something there.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- There's something there?- Something that we can get dubbed across.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Would you do that for me?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- We could put it onto... You could have it on a...- DVD?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33DVD, or if you had a pen I could put it on a digital file.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- Do it on a DVD and then...- DVD. - ..I can copy that.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Strange to see it. It's funny.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49When I get my own disc back home, and a look at it 100 times,
0:04:49 > 0:04:54maybe I'll start to analyse every little detail of things,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56whether the hedge was cut or whatever.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Thursday, September 27th, 1979.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19I was playing with my youngest daughter, Louise,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22and the doorbell rang.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25My wife got up, walked to the door
0:05:25 > 0:05:28and the next thing I heard was this almighty squeal,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30"Gunmen, gunmen!"
0:05:33 > 0:05:37As she came into the room, this man had her by the back of the hair,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40he had a hood up and a gun in his right hand...
0:05:40 > 0:05:41TWO GUNSHOTS
0:05:41 > 0:05:45..and then the next thing I remember is going up in the air.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47A second gunman in the hall had shot me through the door.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49AMBULANCE SIREN
0:05:52 > 0:05:55When the ambulance men came into that wee back room,
0:05:55 > 0:05:56they couldn't get the trolley in,
0:05:56 > 0:06:00so they put me in a body bag to carry me to the ambulance.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04My father arrived at the door, seen me in the body bag
0:06:04 > 0:06:07and his last words were, "Oh, my poor Peter."
0:06:07 > 0:06:09He dropped dead of a heart attack at the scene.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16To die as he did was just so shocking.
0:06:28 > 0:06:34We don't give enough time in this great, new, Northern Ireland
0:06:34 > 0:06:37to those that suffered the trauma, because that is in families,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40that has gone to wives, that has gone to the parents,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42that has gone down to children in some areas.
0:06:45 > 0:06:50Part of recovering from it all, part of dealing with it in your mind,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52is to actually look at an event.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06People would contact me to say
0:07:06 > 0:07:09could they have a copy of the news of a particular day?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I would imagine it's quite devastating for them to see that.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16I will send it to them with a health warning in it,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19that make sure you have somebody with you when you're watching this,
0:07:19 > 0:07:20if you haven't seen this before.
0:07:28 > 0:07:304-4-0.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37This is an incident requested by Brian Thompson.
0:07:37 > 0:07:44It happened on the 29th July, 1993, on the M2 motorway.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Brian's friend, Joe McLarnon, was driving along the motorway
0:07:46 > 0:07:51when he broke down, and Brian was asked to come and rescue him.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54When he arrived at the spot,
0:07:54 > 0:08:00gunmen from the Red Hand Commando came by and opened fire on them.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Brian wanted to see how it was recovered on the news.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I've known Peter for a while now,
0:08:11 > 0:08:16and I was told that the name he got was Hawkeye, basically,
0:08:16 > 0:08:22cos he apparently hokes out and watches every detail
0:08:22 > 0:08:26of everything that's happening.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I particularly wanted to see the car I was in,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31cos I got glimpses of it and I know there's a lot of big holes in it
0:08:31 > 0:08:33where the bullets went through.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37This is of the incident...
0:08:37 > 0:08:38INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
0:08:56 > 0:08:58One night, Joe's wife came over to me
0:08:58 > 0:09:01and asked me would I go out and help him,
0:09:01 > 0:09:02he had broken down on the motorway.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I was sitting waiting in the car and Brian pulled up.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13He put the rope on, started the car,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15so I just turned round to the kids
0:09:15 > 0:09:17and told them we should get the seat belts on.
0:09:22 > 0:09:27As I walked away, this white Ford Orion pulled up
0:09:27 > 0:09:30and the shooting started.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Joe was shot in the left arm and shot in the back.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36I got him out of the car,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40and there was this river of blood pouring out of his arm.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42I told him, "Just put your thumb on that,"
0:09:42 > 0:09:44and I didn't even stop for red lights,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I just got to the Mater Hospital as quickly as possible.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50REPORTER: '...a car had broken down, and was being towed away when a
0:09:50 > 0:09:55'silver Orion car drew alongside, and a gunman opened fire.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57'The man lives in the mainly Protestant
0:09:57 > 0:09:59'Graymount area in north Belfast.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02'The loyalist paramilitary group, the Red Hand Commando,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04'said it was responsible for the attack.'
0:10:05 > 0:10:09That's the first time I've seen the car since 20, well, 19 years.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11That's the first time I've seen that.
0:10:11 > 0:10:17- That's what I wanted to see... - That brought memories and all...
0:10:17 > 0:10:18Yeah...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21I never seen the bullet holes on it,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24never seen anything like that until today.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Just let loose, so he did, with a machine gun.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33How you only got hit twice, I don't know.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37- Never leaves you, sure it doesn't?- No.- No.- Never.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Nightmares about it.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47If I hadn't have phoned him, his life would probably be sweet!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50The thing, is, Joe, if you can't do a buddy a good turn,
0:10:50 > 0:10:52you could only do them a bad turn.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I would probably have done the exact same.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56You probably would have, yes.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- But don't ever phone me again!- No!
0:11:03 > 0:11:06The mental injury thing is a very difficult thing to handle,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09because people look at you and they can't see anything wrong with you.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12they look at me and they can see something wrong and they accept it
0:11:12 > 0:11:16but sometimes people with trauma cases like that
0:11:16 > 0:11:20are treated worse because everybody thinks they're swinging the lead,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23but sometimes when you talk to these people you know they're
0:11:23 > 0:11:26stuck in that wee part of their life that's been devastating.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33You couldn't live with me.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I was grumpy, I was moody,
0:11:35 > 0:11:39I was violent and my kids seen all that.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41That's messed my kids up all my life.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47After the shooting, my wife started drinking.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49She ended up an alcoholic.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Her health is just...she's not...
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Her whole body, everything's just away.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02She just drank and drank and drank.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Her lungs, liver, everything.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11Life from then on just completely changed.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I was a different me altogether, so I was.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Brian was a good laugh, very bubbly and all,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23a good sense of humour.
0:12:23 > 0:12:28But after the shooting he got really, really depressed.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33I mean, he does my head in, like, sometimes, but...
0:12:33 > 0:12:39Yeah, it's just... If I'd have seen him, my head would probably...
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Brian is in a bad way, like...
0:12:42 > 0:12:44yeah, big-time.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47People will say to you, "Look, can you not forget about it,
0:12:47 > 0:12:51"and just move on with your life?"
0:12:51 > 0:12:53You can move on with your life OK,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56but that's still in your head.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Always be in your head.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01You're seeing... You go to bed at night,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04when I go into bed at night, there there's war in my bedroom, every night.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06MACHINE GUN FIRE
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I was in hospital for 50 weeks.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51When I got out, the world was so different.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55It was just...it was just horrendous.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Every bit of me felt...not like a man.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02You hate yourself...
0:14:02 > 0:14:06hate the gunmen, hate everything,
0:14:06 > 0:14:11you know, you go through this whole internal anger, frustration,
0:14:11 > 0:14:16all those words, all of them in one big pile inside your soul, you know.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21And the job is to get beyond that.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29What pulled me around was the family support I got.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32It was devastating for my wife, we were only married seven years,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I was no longer the man she'd married.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37You know, to her eternal credit she stayed with me,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41and I love her dearly for that.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43It was my family,
0:14:43 > 0:14:46my children that still climbed up and gave me a hug,
0:14:46 > 0:14:49"Daddy, we love you."
0:14:49 > 0:14:53All that just made you, "Right, that's it.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58"I'm not going to gurn here any more."
0:14:58 > 0:14:59'Video cassette recorders,
0:14:59 > 0:15:02'machines capable of recording television sound and pictures
0:15:02 > 0:15:05'in the domestic and the industrial environment...'
0:15:05 > 0:15:07After I got the criminal injuries award,
0:15:07 > 0:15:11I'd seen advertisements about this new video cassette recorder machine.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- PRESENTER:- 'This year we look like spending more...'
0:15:14 > 0:15:15I thought, "Oh, that's fantastic.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19"Look what that can do, you can actually record TV programmes."
0:15:24 > 0:15:29I bought it. It was May 7th, 1981.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32The news came on and I hits record.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36And the news that night was the funeral of Bobby Sands.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Being a history teacher,
0:15:45 > 0:15:50it sort of dawned on me, "This is the first draft of history."
0:15:50 > 0:15:53And I just started doing that every night, recording the news.
0:15:53 > 0:16:00It was just like a religious fervour to record history.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12PIANO MUSIC
0:16:37 > 0:16:40I'm a wee bit OCD about it.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44It's given me a new lease of life, in many ways.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01This is an incident from 21st October, 1991.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06A taxi driver called Alex Bunting was picking up a fare on Sandy Row
0:17:06 > 0:17:10and the IRA had left a booby-trap bomb under his car.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Alex's wife, Linda, and the family
0:17:13 > 0:17:16wanted to see how this was covered on the news.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Let go, son.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Right, coming?
0:17:52 > 0:17:57It was 21st October, 1991, that the incident happened.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I was 37 years of age.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03I picked up a lady on the Ballysillan Road,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06and we drove down into the town.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12When I got as far as the brow of the Boyne Bridge,
0:18:12 > 0:18:16there was this almighty flash coming out of the dash,
0:18:16 > 0:18:20and it was like a rainbow of colours.
0:18:20 > 0:18:26A split second later, the bang, and the next thing my leg shot off.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I was blew out the door.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- MAN:- 'There's a body lying on the street behind me here.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37'A young chap, seems to have definitely lost a leg.'
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- REPORTER:- 'The injured driver is a Protestant in his 40s, from
0:18:40 > 0:18:44'the Westland area of North Belfast, and is married with two children.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46'It's believed his car was left...'
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Alec was out working from six o'clock in the morning
0:18:49 > 0:18:53to six at night, taxiing, and we were saving well,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56and we were planning to, you know, a wee deposit for a house...
0:18:56 > 0:18:58They were the good days.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01..and we went on holiday, our first holiday together,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04and we were only back from holiday three weeks when Alec was blew up.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Just that day completely changed our whole lives.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15As I was travelling to school that morning, I seen the car.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I was only ten at the time.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I can remember the bus being rerouted
0:19:21 > 0:19:26and at the bottom where that bar is there on the Sandy Row...
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Hope Street.
0:19:27 > 0:19:32..Hope Street, and my daddy's car was just sitting in pieces...
0:19:33 > 0:19:35..complete pieces.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39The next day after the explosion happened,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I went in with my mum, and he was sort of semi-conscious.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47I asked my mum, you know... He was quite aware, one or two...
0:19:47 > 0:19:51His legs, he knew he'd lost and he didn't know.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54And I suppose that's...
0:19:57 > 0:20:00I was looking forward to him coming home,
0:20:00 > 0:20:04and then when he got home it was just... Whoa!
0:20:04 > 0:20:08I wasn't a very nice person to live with, I was very grumpy,
0:20:08 > 0:20:13I was very argumental, nothing was good enough and all this.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16It was just, at the time,
0:20:16 > 0:20:18I was just angry, an angry man.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21If you'd have made him a dinner...
0:20:21 > 0:20:22And he got to a stage,
0:20:22 > 0:20:27he didn't want the dinner and he was swiping it off the table,
0:20:27 > 0:20:30and I sort of way got to the stage,
0:20:30 > 0:20:35I said, "We're not going to be together if this is going to go on."
0:20:35 > 0:20:40He would get fixated on things, you know...
0:20:40 > 0:20:42if his TV broke, right,
0:20:42 > 0:20:46or he phoned me one night and he says to me,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49"You'd better get down here, my Sky's not working."
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I lived 14 miles away.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56So, I got in my car, because I knew he was torturing my mum that much
0:20:56 > 0:21:00about the Sky not working, I had to drive down to Bangor from Belfast.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04I got down, and the batteries in the remote control needed changed,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07but he tortured her that much, that she...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I mean it was unbelievable. She was ready to walk out the door.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14You lift the bag, and walk out the door and walk round the corner...
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I got on the train, do you remember the day we got on the train?
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Me and Colin, we got to the train station, I got on the train to
0:21:21 > 0:21:26go to Belfast, and I'd never been on the train in I don't know how long,
0:21:26 > 0:21:29and I don't even know where I got off -
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I think it was Botanic Gardens or somewhere like that -
0:21:32 > 0:21:36and me and him just stood in the train station crying. Here's me,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39"I don't even know where we are, Colin." I couldn't think!
0:21:39 > 0:21:43The thing that got me most was that I couldn't provide for my family,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46and I couldn't be the person that I was, you know what I mean?
0:21:46 > 0:21:50And I thought that life was over for me, basically.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54I heard this noise in the kitchen and I ran down the stairs to see,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I thought Alec had fallen,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00and when I walked into the kitchen he had taken an overdose.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04And...
0:22:06 > 0:22:11I phoned the ambulance for him, for it to come,
0:22:11 > 0:22:17and I was so angry that...for what he had come through,
0:22:17 > 0:22:22I just was mad at him, I was shouting at him,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25"After all them doctors have done for you,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28"and you're going to take the easy way out."
0:22:30 > 0:22:32As much as he had his struggles, we had ours.
0:22:32 > 0:22:37You know, the man that went out the door at five to eight in the morning never came back
0:22:37 > 0:22:41and we had to get used to this other man that did come back,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43but we also had to deal with the physical
0:22:43 > 0:22:46and psychological impact of what happened.
0:22:46 > 0:22:52And I think, then, I had a mum who was clinging on with her
0:22:52 > 0:22:55fingernails to try and keep everything together.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57I was actually having nightmares
0:22:57 > 0:23:02and seeing my daddy's leg being blown over his head...
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Just was a horrible, horrible feeling.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Colin just didn't cope.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14He took epilepsy, and the bad depression he took was terrible.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18We went through a stage, like, I thought I was going insane,
0:23:18 > 0:23:23cos he was texting me, "Where are you?" "How long will you be?"
0:23:23 > 0:23:26People don't realise that you've to
0:23:26 > 0:23:28go on the rest of your life like this.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34In terms of my brother, I mean, if I say what I truly feel,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36what I truly feel is that my mother has enabled him
0:23:36 > 0:23:41to be where he's at, in some ways,
0:23:41 > 0:23:46and that's maybe hard for them both to hear, but...
0:23:46 > 0:23:49giving into him,
0:23:49 > 0:23:53enabling him not to have to work,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55supporting him financially,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58all that type of stuff.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I don't think it's done him any favours.
0:24:04 > 0:24:10My aim from day one - I would not let that destroy my family.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Sometimes you feel like walking away,
0:24:14 > 0:24:18but you know you'll not be going, you know what I mean?
0:24:18 > 0:24:23The love was too great there for anything like that to happen, you know?
0:24:27 > 0:24:32I can only assume how people see what I give them is very sad,
0:24:32 > 0:24:37but on the other hand, it's like a closing.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Maybe actually seeing it helps in some way.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47As Northern Ireland does get better,
0:24:47 > 0:24:50we're in danger of forgetting that this new Northern Ireland was built
0:24:50 > 0:24:55on so much suffering and pain and loss, and we should never do that.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Losing Anne for me was worse than losing the use of my legs.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21One of the sad things was that, mentally,
0:25:21 > 0:25:25she worse affected than me by my shooting and that.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32She never complained to me, she never moaned to me.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34But obviously, it all built up on her.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41It was about, I suppose five years after the event, the first time,
0:25:41 > 0:25:46when she overdosed and was taken into the City Hospital
0:25:46 > 0:25:50and her psychiatrist said to me,
0:25:50 > 0:25:54"Peter, she just has lost the ability to cope."
0:25:55 > 0:26:00From that moment on, she would have started to drink too much.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Anne never forgave herself for opening the door that night.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14"I should never have opened the door.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16"I should never have opened the door."
0:26:18 > 0:26:21But, I mean, what can you say?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23They'd have kicked the door in, they'd have got in.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Somebody would have opened it some way, but she never forgave herself.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28It was her - she opened the door,
0:26:28 > 0:26:30he grabbed her by the hair and pushed her up the hall,
0:26:30 > 0:26:33the first gunman that came in, and she squealed -
0:26:33 > 0:26:35that's a sign of bravery.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37This guy's standing with a gun to her head,
0:26:37 > 0:26:39she was able to squeal a warning to me.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42But I couldn't emphasise to her how brave she was, you know,
0:26:42 > 0:26:47in shouting a warning, in defying him, in trying to wriggle free,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49you know, it just never got through.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54That was so, so sad, you know, really.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01She was worse affected than me
0:27:01 > 0:27:06yet her and people like her are not really recognised,
0:27:06 > 0:27:09not considered a statistic of the Troubles.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18All we want is a simple recognition that in this community, so many
0:27:18 > 0:27:23of us suffered, and some of us still live with our wounds every day.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28When I hear people say, "Oh, we'll just draw a line under it
0:27:28 > 0:27:30"and we'll all get on with the future."
0:27:30 > 0:27:32"That's OK," I says,
0:27:32 > 0:27:34"well, will I get up the marra and walk about, then?
0:27:34 > 0:27:38"Will I get my daddy back? Will them people get their relatives back?"
0:27:40 > 0:27:42I'm all for the future and a shared future
0:27:42 > 0:27:45but I don't think you should ever forget the past.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49What was it? The Queen put it very well -
0:27:49 > 0:27:52"Remember the past, but don't be bound by it."
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- INTERVIEWER: - Do you think you're bound by it?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56What do you think?
0:27:56 > 0:27:57I'm not sure.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00I'm not sure, either. That makes two of us.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15It's basically a labour of love for me.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18It is like a job, it feels like a job.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Five, six hours a day...
0:28:20 > 0:28:25Part of the work is transferring the VHS to DVD.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29I itemise each day, go through each news report,
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I put it in a separate little icon,
0:28:31 > 0:28:34and then write the note for that day,
0:28:34 > 0:28:37the station, the time, what the story was.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41So, that takes probably four to five hours to do two hours.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44It's never ending.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media