0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains scenes which some viewers may find upsetting
0:00:46 > 0:00:49'This is my fourth attempt at writing.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53'I hope that this time I have the strength not only to begin
0:00:53 > 0:00:57'but to see through and leave some document behind as my legacy.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03'I tried to convince myself that writing will set me free from
0:01:03 > 0:01:07'the bitterness I felt ever since I was liberated from the camps.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13'What I suffered was so overwhelming that I was always miserable.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18'All I could do was bite my lip and carry on.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29'Actually, my deterioration and insomnia began three years ago.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34'The floodgates opened once the boys left home.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38'Mali seems more free now, too.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42'She sighs often and no longer worries
0:01:42 > 0:01:44'that the kids might hear her.'
0:01:48 > 0:01:50And so the children set off on their journey.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54There was Esti, my older sister, I, the director of this film,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57and our siblings, Gideon and Ronel.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Our youngest brother, Amnon, stayed at home.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58We found Dad's diary after he died.
0:04:58 > 0:05:05None of us even knew that he wrote it. 12 years have passed since then.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Some of my siblings refused to read it. Others simply couldn't.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I had no question that I would.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17I dived right into it and haven't put it down since.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22This isn't my first trip to Austria, either.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35On page four, Dad writes...
0:05:37 > 0:05:40.."One day in May 1944,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42"we received orders to leave our home.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47"It's hard to describe those final moments there, alone with my father.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52"Dad took a knife, split open the quilts,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55"and destroyed everything of value.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59"I was petrified.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05"He took the violin, removed the strings, and broke the bow.
0:06:05 > 0:06:11"He destroyed the guitar, the bass, the drums. He acted with resolve.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15"He didn't shed a tear. He just took a few minutes.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19"I didn't ask him about it. I didn't say a thing.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21"In retrospect,
0:06:21 > 0:06:25"I realised that he felt like he was leaving home for good."
0:06:34 > 0:06:37My father was a few days in Mauthausen,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39and then he was sent to Gusen,
0:06:39 > 0:06:42and at the end of the war, he was liberated from Gunskirchen.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- So, what's the name of your father? - Joseph Fisher.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- He came from Auschwitz in May 1944. - Right.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54- In May 1944, he was transferred to Gusen.- Right.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58- So, 67656 would be the...- His number?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- His number. If it's him, that'd be the number.- 67656.- Exactly.
0:07:04 > 0:07:0867656. Right.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17When I realised how much I missed my father,
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I decided to retrace his life through his memoir.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25He talked to us about the Holocaust but only about the symbols.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29The train, Auschwitz, Mengele and nothing else.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31When I read his memoir,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35I discovered that he spent just one week in Auschwitz.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Using laconic symbols for this,
0:07:37 > 0:07:41he described life in camps that I'd never heard of.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45I learned how difficult it was for him to write about the past.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49There were three reasons he stopped writing for long periods of time.
0:07:49 > 0:07:54The first was what he saw in Block 13 at the Gusen camp.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06"On the day that I arrived in Gusen, I was sent to clean the sanatorium,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09"a term that the Germans used for extermination block.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14"At the end of the block was a tiny room they always kept locked.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20"One day, I saw them drown a sick inmate in a cement tub.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23"Other prisoners were lying there
0:08:23 > 0:08:26"watching what would soon happen to them.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28"They pleaded with their eyes for "ein Stuck Brot",
0:08:28 > 0:08:31"a crust of bread.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34"The inmates remained with me for the rest of my life.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39"The next day, they tossed their bodies out the window,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"just like they would toss out beets.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47"My hand shakes as I write these lines."
0:09:02 > 0:09:05WOMAN: 'The place looks different now.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09'The village, the land, this mill.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17'Try following my steps exactly so that we can walk together.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23'This is the landscape of my childhood.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29'Nobody was really able to say where some of the buildings
0:09:29 > 0:09:31'in Gusen and St Georgen had come from.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37'What purpose did the underground system behind our church serve?
0:09:37 > 0:09:42'It was called "Flieger Werk", aircraft factory.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46'Do you see the big gate to the left...
0:09:47 > 0:09:49'..with the granite wall?'
0:09:53 > 0:09:58- MAN:- 'Well, this house is the most important place
0:09:58 > 0:09:59'of the concentration camp Gusen.'
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- WOMAN:- 'That was the Jew house.'
0:10:06 > 0:10:09WOMAN: 'This building used to be the main entrance
0:10:09 > 0:10:11'of the concentration camp Gusen I.'
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- MAN:- 'The part below was the bunker where they take prisoners
0:10:23 > 0:10:25'to interrogate...
0:10:26 > 0:10:27'..and beat them...
0:10:29 > 0:10:32'..the SS and the Gestapo.'
0:11:03 > 0:11:06'More than 200 single-family homes
0:11:06 > 0:11:09'and an industrial compound have taken the place
0:11:09 > 0:11:14'of the 83 barracks and factory halls of the concentration camp.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19'To the left, Block 2,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21'to the right, Block 3.'
0:12:30 > 0:12:33'Do you see the low, longish building with the grey roof?'
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- MAN:- 'That is the brothel.'
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- MAN:- 'This used to be...
0:12:41 > 0:12:43'the joy house.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49'Sometimes we saw those girls at the window.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53'The SS forced them into prostitution.'
0:13:02 > 0:13:04BRASS BAND PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE
0:13:32 > 0:13:36"The Yom Kippur fast is over and I must keep writing.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38"I spent the whole day in the synagogue as
0:13:38 > 0:13:40"if I made some kind of commitment.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45"The first time I didn't fast was in the Gusen quarries.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50"I was so hungry that I didn't care if God would punish me
0:13:50 > 0:13:52"and I will die, as long as I ate.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59"I decided then that I would never fast again as long as I could eat
0:13:59 > 0:14:01"so I always ate as usual on that day.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07"Four years after the liberation, I was too poor to buy food
0:14:07 > 0:14:09"and still I ate on Yom Kippur.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14"Then my children were born and my wife convinced me
0:14:14 > 0:14:16"to fast for their sake."
0:14:38 > 0:14:40We are now in the big Gusen quarry.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47One of the most cruel places that was part of Gusen I...
0:14:48 > 0:14:53..where thousands of inmates were worked to death.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56And the stone that was cut here
0:14:56 > 0:15:02was used to build up the concentration camp in the first phase
0:15:02 > 0:15:05and then it was shipped out to the Reich
0:15:05 > 0:15:08for Hitler's high-flying building projects that he had.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12You have to know that Hitler's favourite stone was granite,
0:15:12 > 0:15:15because it symbolised eternity.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17And what are the plans at the moment?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19What would the owners like to do?
0:15:19 > 0:15:24I have heard that there are plans to fill up the granite quarry
0:15:24 > 0:15:26and change it into a housing project.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28And actually, why not?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I think that...
0:15:35 > 0:15:39..that there is a very sad history to this place.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Um...
0:15:42 > 0:15:43And...
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Sorry.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49SHE SIGHS
0:15:49 > 0:15:53I would consider it really tasteless
0:15:53 > 0:15:57to change a place where thousands of people were cruelly murdered
0:15:57 > 0:15:58and lost their lives,
0:15:58 > 0:16:03to change into a housing project where normal life goes on.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Have you ever been down to the quarry?
0:16:10 > 0:16:14It was a couple of years ago that I went down there.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16But since...
0:16:18 > 0:16:22..access to the quarry is not allowed,
0:16:22 > 0:16:24usually, I keep at a safe distance,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27also with visitors and groups of visitors.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Why is it not allowed?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Because it's private property, it's private.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07SHE SIGHS
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Oh, sorry, I can't stay
0:17:13 > 0:17:16and I don't want to say that any longer, I can't.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Ask Martha, maybe she...she finds it easier to speak about that.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Because I just...
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I can't put it into numbers, I mean...
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Um...there is a feeling of support.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34There are...people who tell me
0:17:34 > 0:17:38and...express their support
0:17:38 > 0:17:41and there is others and often it's a very vague feeling
0:17:41 > 0:17:44where you know exactly they are not on your side,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46they feel disturbed.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04"We dug tunnels under a mountain using pickaxes and shovels.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07"We dragged in building materials and poured cement
0:18:07 > 0:18:09"It was always dark in there.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16"What was it for? God only knows.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18"The deeper we got, the more we felt
0:18:18 > 0:18:21"like we were lost in a maze that we had built.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23"And that soon we would be locked inside.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30"I never thought I would come out alive."
0:18:38 > 0:18:40'What I have found out is
0:18:40 > 0:18:44'that it was one of the most modern and most completed plants
0:18:44 > 0:18:47'of Nazi Germany at the end of the war.'
0:18:47 > 0:18:52And it was designed to produce, per month,
0:18:52 > 0:18:571,250 fuselages for jet planes
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and for a period of more than ten years.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05What was the production volume of one inmate, like my father?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It depended on what construction detail
0:19:08 > 0:19:10your father would have been in.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14Digging and carrying stones on his back, this is what he did.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- All the time?- All the time.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19So it's really a miracle that your father survived.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21It's really a miracle.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25I'm convinced that your father had also other jobs,
0:19:25 > 0:19:29because it's unbelievable that he would have survived
0:19:29 > 0:19:32digging ten months here at Gusen II.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Just digging.
0:19:34 > 0:19:40Because the average survival period of a Jew in Gusen II,
0:19:40 > 0:19:42in Bergkristall, was one week.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44And every survival period of a nonJew
0:19:44 > 0:19:47was three to four months in average.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49He was physically strong...
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Yes.- ..and he said that he was never beaten because he worked very good.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Yes, but, in this case,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57you must...you must take into account
0:19:57 > 0:20:00that your father was really an outstanding personality,
0:20:00 > 0:20:05because when he was so strong to survive Bergkristall as a Jew
0:20:05 > 0:20:08for a period of ten months, this is extraordinary.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Now, I really want to see it, Rudi.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14What can your Committee actually do about it?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Our biggest target is
0:20:16 > 0:20:19to get Bergkristall open to the public.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21To give interested people the chance
0:20:21 > 0:20:25to see why your father was sent to Gusen.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29He was not sent to Gusen because of the stone quarry.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32He was sent to Gusen to construct
0:20:32 > 0:20:36one of the biggest and most important underground plants of Nazi Germany.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Here, at St Georgen.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40This land...this...
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Under this house, behind his house, the installations begin.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00BRASS BAND PLAYING
0:21:12 > 0:21:14"A scene I saw from my bed.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17"Our block supervisor was a Polish dwarf,
0:21:17 > 0:21:19"just one-and-a-half metres tall
0:21:19 > 0:21:22"with crooked legs and a monkey face.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25"He was a vicious anti-Semite.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27"One night, he walked into our block
0:21:27 > 0:21:32"and ordered someone to get out of bed and walk to the door.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36"He jumped on him from behind, twisted a towel around his neck,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40"kneed him in the back and sent him crashing to the floor.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43"The dwarf then ordered a huge Jew
0:21:43 > 0:21:46"to bring him a plank from his bed.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48"He placed the plank on the man's chest
0:21:48 > 0:21:52"and ordered the big Jew to stand on it till he died.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59"I pretended to be asleep.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02"We were not allowed to look.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04"I thought about it for years
0:22:04 > 0:22:08"and decided he was after the old Jew's gold teeth.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55"We left Gusen in single file.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01"Years later, I learnt that this was called a death march.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06"We slept in the forest.
0:24:06 > 0:24:11"Each morning, I chewed grass like an animal and collected snails.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15"I ate some and saved the rest for later.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17"I couldn't wait to eat them,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21"which made what happened all the more disappointing.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24"When we stopped at night,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27"I discovered that the snails had escaped from my pocket.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30"I was very sad.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36"We reached the Gunskirchen camp the next day.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39"It was supposed to be the last stop.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44"I leaned against a tree and waited for the time to pass.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52"I can't bring myself to write about what happened there
0:24:52 > 0:24:55"until the Americans arrived."
0:24:58 > 0:25:03# Gonna take A sentimental journey
0:25:03 > 0:25:06# Gonna set my heart at ease
0:25:06 > 0:25:12# Gonna take a sentimental journey
0:25:12 > 0:25:17# To remember memories... #
0:25:17 > 0:25:22# Got my bag, got my reservation
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# Spent each dime I could afford
0:25:26 > 0:25:31# Like a child in wild anticipation
0:25:31 > 0:25:35# Long to hear that "All aboard"
0:25:35 > 0:25:38# Seven
0:25:38 > 0:25:42# That's the time we leave, at seven
0:25:42 > 0:25:47# I'll be waiting up for heaven
0:25:47 > 0:25:51# Counting every mile Of railroad track
0:25:51 > 0:25:54# That takes me back
0:25:54 > 0:25:59# Never knew my heart could be So yearning
0:25:59 > 0:26:03# Why did I decide to roam?
0:26:03 > 0:26:08# Gotta take that sentimental journey
0:26:08 > 0:26:12# Sentimental journey home... #
0:26:18 > 0:26:23"Austria, May 30th, 1945.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25"Dear Mother and Dad..."
0:26:25 > 0:26:28All mine were addressed Mother and Dad.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31"Received a letter from you today.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34"In this letter, you said that I might be in the hospital
0:26:34 > 0:26:35"and can't write.
0:26:35 > 0:26:41"No, I'm OK and having as good time as is possible over here."
0:26:41 > 0:26:43And then, I'll go ahead and read it.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46"The other day, we liberated a concentration camp.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50"It was the most pitiful sight I've ever seen.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52"I can't describe it in writing,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55"so I'll just wait until I get home to tell you about it."
0:26:55 > 0:26:57MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:26:57 > 0:26:59It might be Pat.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Hello?
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Hey, Pat Waters.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08This is General George Patton's grandson.
0:27:16 > 0:27:22When you went into that camp, did they know you were coming?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24No, they didn't know we were coming.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26We didn't know what they were or who they were.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28We'd never even heard about the camps.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Did you know about...?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Oh, you didn't know that they had those camps?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34No, we haven't heard about any concentration camps.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38The Lieutenant first saw all these thousands of people behind the wire
0:27:38 > 0:27:41and he ordered to shoot the lock.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43And when they opened the gates,
0:27:43 > 0:27:47all these thousands of people came out and thronged around us,
0:27:47 > 0:27:51hugging us, down to our knees
0:27:51 > 0:27:54and climbing...clinging to us.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58And speaking in languages that we didn't understand.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03And so I heard some of them say, "Ich habe Hunger."
0:28:03 > 0:28:07I knew enough German at that time to know that they were hungry.
0:28:07 > 0:28:11So I told all the guys to go get the K-rations
0:28:11 > 0:28:14and they ate everything.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- They ate all of this. - The cigarettes?
0:28:16 > 0:28:17The cigarettes.
0:28:17 > 0:28:22We naturally expected them to ask us to light them for them,
0:28:22 > 0:28:24but they ate them.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27We were astounded to see them eating the cigarettes.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Paper and all, they ate.
0:28:29 > 0:28:35Then Marvin and I and Lieutenant Burns walked on into the camp
0:28:35 > 0:28:39and then we started seeing all these hundreds of dead bodies,
0:28:39 > 0:28:41laying throughout the camp.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Now, when we looked at some over here,
0:28:44 > 0:28:46and one might raise a finger
0:28:46 > 0:28:49to indicate he's still got some movement.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Another one might blink his eyes,
0:28:51 > 0:28:54but there was nothing we could do for them.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56How long had they been there for?
0:28:56 > 0:28:58About three months, some of them had been.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01We did find out from some of them who were active
0:29:01 > 0:29:08and more walking and talking that the procedure was...they had no food.
0:29:08 > 0:29:13Evidently, they had just been put in there to starve to death.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17It was like a concentration camp with no method of extermination.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21I wrote home to my parents, who saved the letters...
0:29:21 > 0:29:24I wrote describing all of this and I said,
0:29:24 > 0:29:26"I regret... I'm sorry,
0:29:26 > 0:29:30"I just don't have words to describe the horror here.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34"I'll try to tell you when I get home." But...
0:29:34 > 0:29:36You were trying to forget between then...
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Yeah, I never did.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48"I lay on a blanket I managed to obtain.
0:29:48 > 0:29:52"Suddenly, I saw a German soldier leave the watchtower.
0:29:53 > 0:29:58"Then I heard cries of joy and the rumble of American tanks.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02"Bitsare was stronger than me.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05"He ran over with some canned food and went to get more.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10"His head was bleeding when he came back,
0:30:10 > 0:30:13"so he asked me to pee on his wound.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15"'Pisi, Joseph, pisi.'
0:30:15 > 0:30:19"I knew that urine was a disinfectant, so I peed.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22"We left the camp at dawn."
0:30:41 > 0:30:42Pete!
0:30:44 > 0:30:47- Pete Carnabuci.- Hey. Hi.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49How are you? Oh!
0:30:51 > 0:30:53- It's you?- It's me.- It's you.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56Your voice hasn't changed.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58Why should my voice change?
0:30:58 > 0:31:00How have you been?
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Pete, I've been good.
0:31:02 > 0:31:03- Good.- How have you been?
0:31:03 > 0:31:07- Oh, I'm doing OK so far, you know.- Yeah.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11I think I told you that I go for the VA
0:31:11 > 0:31:13for this post-traumatic stress.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17- But I'm coming along OK.- Yeah.
0:31:19 > 0:31:20And...
0:31:22 > 0:31:23Well, Gunskirchen...
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- ..is a tough one.- Yes, it is.
0:31:30 > 0:31:31That...
0:31:31 > 0:31:32you know...
0:31:33 > 0:31:35..it's almost impossible...
0:31:38 > 0:31:41..to explain and describe...
0:31:43 > 0:31:48..that hour or so that happened to us
0:31:48 > 0:31:51- at the gate of Gunskirchen Lager.- Yes.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55It's impossible to explain to people what inhuman...
0:31:55 > 0:31:59how inhuman humans can be to other humans.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03We saw the worst.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Got to be the worst.
0:32:05 > 0:32:09I've never seen a horror movie that comes anywhere near...
0:32:11 > 0:32:13..what we saw,
0:32:13 > 0:32:16what we heard, what we smelled.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18I know that you and I...
0:32:18 > 0:32:21I believe you were there by the doorway.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23We didn't go in.
0:32:23 > 0:32:26And seeing these human living skeletons.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- And that really bothered me.- Yeah.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36We have to carry that with us,
0:32:36 > 0:32:38but we can't let that make us the victims, Pete.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40I know.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43But...
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- you try to forget, but it's too hard.- It's hard.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48I know it's hard.
0:32:52 > 0:32:53The...
0:32:53 > 0:32:58one of the hard parts beyond that is,
0:32:58 > 0:32:59we gave them food.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04And many of them ate and then died,
0:33:04 > 0:33:08cos their stomachs, whatever they did, you know?
0:33:08 > 0:33:09We didn't know that.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13We didn't know that, you couldn't do that.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18But I don't think we can, you know, lay a blame...
0:33:18 > 0:33:23you can't lay a blame, because you gave these guys your C-rations
0:33:23 > 0:33:26and they died within two hours.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28That...that cannot be your blame.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31You did what you could.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Some of them already start walking out of the camp.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40And they were laying all over the woods and the meadows,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43and the culverts along the road, on the road.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46And I picked two of them up, one at a time.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50They didn't weigh anything but 60, 70 pounds.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53I grabbed them by the neck and tried to feed them, and they...
0:33:53 > 0:33:56They just bent over and they died.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58That really got me.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01And the worst way, to me...
0:34:01 > 0:34:06one of the worst ways to me is to die starving,
0:34:06 > 0:34:09and I was there to visualise it,
0:34:09 > 0:34:12what it felt like to be very hungry
0:34:12 > 0:34:14where you can even eat human flesh.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20HE SOBS QUIETLY
0:34:22 > 0:34:23(That's all I have to say.)
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Happy to see my friend Jucksch again.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32And a few of the other fellas that are still living.
0:34:38 > 0:34:44My father, he never talked about it during his lifetime.
0:34:44 > 0:34:48The only time I actually understood
0:34:48 > 0:34:53and found out what happened to him
0:34:53 > 0:34:55was when I read his memoir...
0:34:57 > 0:35:02..he wrote during the two years before he passed away.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03I would suggest to you...
0:35:06 > 0:35:09..that maybe you're better off not having heard the stories.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Can't you imagine...
0:35:14 > 0:35:17how horrible it must have been,
0:35:17 > 0:35:19lying in the squalor?
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Who's got to pee next? Who's got to defecate next?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Where is he going to find a spot to defecate...
0:35:27 > 0:35:29..that hasn't got a body on it?
0:35:31 > 0:35:33How can he tell that story?
0:35:35 > 0:35:38Maybe he had to fight one off to survive.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39We are survivors.
0:35:41 > 0:35:42You know, we're animals in the end.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45We have this gene, or whatever it is
0:35:45 > 0:35:47that makes us want to survive above all.
0:35:49 > 0:35:50So...
0:35:53 > 0:35:57..you could be proud of your father, that he somehow survived.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Survived enough to have children and raise a family.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04That's good.
0:36:07 > 0:36:08Be happy with that story.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30"People tell me I'm sad, that I sink into melancholy.
0:36:30 > 0:36:35"I know it's hard for people to accept me.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37"My beloved children,
0:36:37 > 0:36:41"I'm still trapped there, even in my happiest moments.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46"I often regret having survived, and I ask, 'Why me of all people?'
0:36:48 > 0:36:52"I am convinced that everyone like me feels the same way.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54"We are all actors."
0:37:06 > 0:37:08When I left the United States,
0:37:08 > 0:37:11I realised that this was as far as I could go
0:37:11 > 0:37:13in search of my father's memoir.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16But one year later, I was informed
0:37:16 > 0:37:21that the Austrians agreed to open the towers for me for a single day.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23I knew I had to go, but this time,
0:37:23 > 0:37:27I insisted that my brothers and sister come with me.
0:37:28 > 0:37:33After all, the father that I had discovered was their father too.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52I had another reason to get everyone together,
0:37:52 > 0:37:54but I won't reveal it now.
0:37:55 > 0:37:56Only Esti knows.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54SPEAKS IN GERMAN
0:39:56 > 0:39:59This was a barrack for those who were able to work.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02They were strictly separated, as we told you before,
0:40:02 > 0:40:07and so everybody who entered a barrack of this kind was able,
0:40:07 > 0:40:08declared to be able to work.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13GUIDE SPEAKS GERMAN
0:40:27 > 0:40:33OK, so every barrack was separated in two parts - Room A, Room B.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36We're now in Room B, and Room A is just a similar thing,
0:40:36 > 0:40:38just mirrored.
0:41:10 > 0:41:11Where is the gas chamber?
0:41:13 > 0:41:14It's here?
0:41:24 > 0:41:25That's where they kill...
0:41:25 > 0:41:26That's the way the gas chambers...
0:41:28 > 0:41:29We must see them. We must.
0:41:31 > 0:41:32We must!
0:42:00 > 0:42:03"My parents and brothers aren't really dead to me,
0:42:03 > 0:42:05"because I didn't see them die.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08"I still can't let go.
0:42:08 > 0:42:12"Sometimes I imagine those last 10 minutes in the gas chamber,
0:42:12 > 0:42:15"how they fought for every last breath of air.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18"I can't stop thinking of that image,
0:42:18 > 0:42:21"but I still fight on, every hour and every minute,
0:42:21 > 0:42:24"so that I don't lose my sanity.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27"Maybe it's my way of taking revenge.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30"Maybe it is just a will to live."
0:48:33 > 0:48:37- How many metres? How many kilometres are these tunnels?- This is 7.5km.
0:48:39 > 0:48:43So, basically, they built the aeroplanes over here?
0:48:43 > 0:48:45All these tunnels.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47- For the aeroplanes?- Yes.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49- And how many aeroplanes were built here?- 1,000.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51- What?!- 1,000 aeroplanes.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14"I remember a scene in the tunnel.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17"Five Jews, including a father and son,
0:49:17 > 0:49:19"were holding a log on their shoulders
0:49:19 > 0:49:23"while a red-headed Polish Gentile whipped them like horses.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29"When they put down the log, the Pole ordered the boy,
0:49:29 > 0:49:34"who was about 16, my age, to slap his father.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36"The boy refused.
0:49:36 > 0:49:40"So the Pole slapped him and said, 'Hit him hard, like that.'
0:49:40 > 0:49:42"But the boy still refused.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46"His father pleaded with him in Hungarian, saying,
0:49:46 > 0:49:48"'Slap me hard!'
0:49:48 > 0:49:51"He wanted to stop the Pole from hitting his son.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55"I wondered what I would have done in his place."
0:50:13 > 0:50:19The colour you see, the black, is from the blasting, from the burning.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33I'm just looking for... You see this?
0:51:33 > 0:51:37It says, "Takt 29."
0:51:37 > 0:51:43So this was a step of the production and the plane was on Takt 29.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22For me, this place is so important and so amazing
0:52:22 > 0:52:27because here you see how they built the tunnels.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29And if you look up there,
0:52:29 > 0:52:32you see a lot of scratches and, yeah,
0:52:32 > 0:52:36you see that this is all made by hand.
0:52:37 > 0:52:43And here, I feel, personally, like the workers,
0:52:43 > 0:52:46they just have gone for lunch or whatever.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49They were ten minutes away.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52So this is the place, personally,
0:52:52 > 0:52:55I feel, yeah...not very good here.
0:53:42 > 0:53:46THEY CONTINUE ARGUING
0:59:40 > 0:59:43THEY LAUGH
1:00:50 > 1:00:52THEY LAUGH
1:02:50 > 1:02:52SHE LAUGHS
1:04:16 > 1:04:19CHOIR SINGS
1:05:26 > 1:05:29"There were no roll calls in Gunskirchen.
1:05:29 > 1:05:32"We were not afraid of beatings.
1:05:32 > 1:05:34"We were not given any food.
1:05:34 > 1:05:37"And we felt like no-one was interested in us.
1:05:38 > 1:05:42"The barracks were filled with the living and the dead.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45"There was no room for me, so I slept outside.
1:05:46 > 1:05:48"My will to live was strong
1:05:48 > 1:05:51"because I thought that we were the only Jews left.
1:05:53 > 1:05:56"I was cold, so I snuck into a barracks
1:05:56 > 1:05:59"and fell asleep beside someone who didn't throw me out.
1:06:00 > 1:06:02"You can probably guess why.
1:06:04 > 1:06:05"That's right.
1:06:07 > 1:06:10"I'm not sure I would fight for my life like that now."
1:07:03 > 1:07:05HE SIGHS AND SOBS QUIETLY
1:08:33 > 1:08:35RONEL SIGHS
1:09:14 > 1:09:17ESTI:
1:09:53 > 1:09:55ESTI LAUGHS
1:11:56 > 1:11:57ESTI LAUGHS
1:13:11 > 1:13:13ESTI:
1:13:20 > 1:13:21RONEL:
1:14:11 > 1:14:14ESTI:
1:14:14 > 1:14:17RONEL:
1:14:52 > 1:14:54ESTI:
1:15:31 > 1:15:33THEY LAUGH
1:15:50 > 1:15:51ESTI:
1:16:04 > 1:16:07ESTI:
1:16:07 > 1:16:09GIDEON:
1:17:35 > 1:17:39THEY LAUGH
1:18:04 > 1:18:06"It was time to go home.
1:18:07 > 1:18:10"I was overwhelmed by unspeakable pain.
1:18:12 > 1:18:15"I tried to drown my bitterness in vodka,
1:18:15 > 1:18:17"but soon realised that it was
1:18:17 > 1:18:21"not the solution, because I would throw up after drinking a lot.
1:18:22 > 1:18:25"Worst of all, no-one cared about me.
1:18:27 > 1:18:31"I was so confused, I didn't know what I was doing.
1:18:31 > 1:18:33"I felt guilty for surviving.
1:18:33 > 1:18:36"I felt that way my entire life.
1:18:37 > 1:18:39"I can't break free of it.
1:18:39 > 1:18:43"That's also why I take breaks in my writing.
1:18:43 > 1:18:46"Few people can really understand."
1:18:52 > 1:18:55BEE BUZZES
1:23:41 > 1:23:43ESTI:
1:24:36 > 1:24:41DISTANT CHATTERING OF CHILDREN
1:24:46 > 1:24:50"Today we had a wonderful day.
1:24:50 > 1:24:52"All our boys came for lunch with
1:24:52 > 1:24:54"their wives and our grandchildren.
1:24:54 > 1:24:59"Yuval and Yael asked to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa.
1:24:59 > 1:25:01"We'll take them home tomorrow.
1:25:02 > 1:25:04"David told Mama how great it is
1:25:04 > 1:25:08"that his children have grandparents.
1:25:08 > 1:25:12"I want to tell you that when I heard this, I shed a tear."
1:25:30 > 1:25:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd