British Schools

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06Good evening. Tonight's theme is Schools on TV, and it's a subject I have particular affection for.

0:00:06 > 0:00:10You see, my very first ever TV appearance came in 1969 when,

0:00:10 > 0:00:13following a violent outbreak of food poisoning at my school

0:00:13 > 0:00:17in Deptford, ITN despatched a film crew to get some newsworthy

0:00:17 > 0:00:20shots, and I was pictured in a group of kids spoiling

0:00:20 > 0:00:23the gravity of the report by gurning away at the camera,

0:00:23 > 0:00:25pretending to be sick and drop down dead.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27It was actually a big story.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Dozens were hospitalised, and one kid did nearly die.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33I think a teacher lost part of his stomach too.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Anyway, I was hooked on the sheer glamour of that moment

0:00:36 > 0:00:39and I was determined to find a way into show business,

0:00:39 > 0:00:43a dream I refuse to give up on. Welcome to tonight's programme.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01I loved school. Love it.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Look, there I am, four from the left, front row,

0:01:03 > 0:01:06and digging the whole academic vibe tremendously.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10Even today, I can still rattle off the names of that soon to be

0:01:10 > 0:01:14food-poisoned gang for the sheer exhilaration the evocative

0:01:14 > 0:01:17sound of our register continues to bring me. Here we go.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20Atkins, Bake, Barnes, Benford, Biffin, Burridge, Bayer,

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Carpenter, Chapman, Harrison, Hill...

0:01:23 > 0:01:24- Kenneth.- Yes, sir.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26- Richard.- Yes, sir.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Peter.- Yes, sir.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Gartley.- Yes, sir. - Green.- Yes, sir.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33- Gregg.- No.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Barnfield Ma.- Here.- Mi.

0:01:35 > 0:01:36- Barnfield Mi.- Here.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38- Barton Ma.- Here.- Mi.- Here.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Barclay Ma.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Bristow.- Here.- Columbo.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Nanson, Leavey, King, Duffle, Patterson,

0:01:47 > 0:01:52Byrne, Wedgewood, Bostrich, Burman, Insul, Potter, Guppy.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Now, that's television!

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Endless long lists of names, read out in a lifeless room,

0:01:58 > 0:02:02full of bored, blank faces, trapped until home time.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04You know - just like the BAFTAs!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06I'm genuinely always staggered

0:02:06 > 0:02:09when people can't recall their full class register.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12You heard it every day, five days a week, year in, year out.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Everyone should be able to just rattle it off.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19Monotonous? Not likely! How about stereophonic?

0:02:19 > 0:02:20- Ian Edwards.- Here, sir.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22- Peter Evans.- Here, sir.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24- Kenneth Gibson.- Here, sir.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26- Stephen Hall.- Here, sir.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Stephen Holmes.- Here, sir.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29- Paul Nicholson.- Here, sir.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32- Andrew Brown.- Here, sir. - Ian Nixon.- Here's sir.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34- Mike Walker.- Here, sir. - Ian Caulfield.- Here, sir.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Simon Laven.- Here, sir. - Thomas Taylor.- Here, sir.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Paul Peacock.- Here, sir. - Mark Burns.- Here, sir.

0:02:40 > 0:02:41- Keith Cole.- Here, sir.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44- Paul Burnham.- Here, sir. - Barry Ray.- Her, sir.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Must have been fun in that classroom, eh,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49when one end was doing music and the other end was doing maths!

0:02:49 > 0:02:52And what happened if you were late? There'd be no way in.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Your classmates would have to crowd-surf you to your seat.

0:02:55 > 0:03:00Of course, I don't recognise that sort of urban overcrowding at all.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Though, to be fair, at my old alma mater,

0:03:02 > 0:03:05we were not unaware of the ruddy old squashed oiks.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09'In the old days, you could spot a child's class a mile away.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14'Children from middle- and upper- class homes were actually taller

0:03:14 > 0:03:18'and heavier on the average than working-class children.

0:03:18 > 0:03:23'Quite apart from differences of clothes, manners, speech,

0:03:23 > 0:03:26'habits of thought and education, or lack of it.'

0:03:32 > 0:03:37'The public school accent has always been the proudly borne,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40'never to be suppressed hallmark of the public school man.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44'He wears it as flamboyantly, often as grotesquely,

0:03:44 > 0:03:46'as a fireman's helmet.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49'The boys still guard what they call their Queen's English jealously.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51'In this debate, the progressives are pleading

0:03:51 > 0:03:55'the case for admitting more local accents to the school.'

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- (UPPER-CLASS ACCENT)- It has been said that by bringing the Dorset

0:03:58 > 0:04:03accent into Milton Abbey, or any other public school, it would

0:04:03 > 0:04:06bring down the class barriers at their roots,

0:04:06 > 0:04:09but as long as there is a difference between the qualified

0:04:09 > 0:04:13and the unqualified people, there will always be a class distinction.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16THEY APPLAUD

0:04:16 > 0:04:20I know several local people very well and have met many more.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24Apart from the fact that these people are mostly pleasant types,

0:04:24 > 0:04:28there is the fact that their accent is tuneful and pleasant to hear.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31I don't find that they are embarrassed to talk to me and

0:04:31 > 0:04:35I feel this school is sadly lacking the sound of the Dorset accent.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38THEY APPLAUD

0:04:38 > 0:04:42If he's got enough character, which this school does try to produce,

0:04:42 > 0:04:45he can get on very well in life. If he hasn't got much brain, well,

0:04:45 > 0:04:48this school's proved this, because some people have left

0:04:48 > 0:04:51with no O-levels, they seem to be doing quite nicely, thank you.

0:04:51 > 0:04:52This must just be due to character.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55They must have something behind them. If they haven't got brains,

0:04:55 > 0:04:58they've got...something. And if you went to a state school,

0:04:58 > 0:05:01you might not have this catch and you might just be absolutely no-one.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03I've never really understood the idea

0:05:03 > 0:05:05that going to a public school

0:05:05 > 0:05:08will make a person brighter because if it did,

0:05:08 > 0:05:11then the Houses of Parliament would be full of geniuses.

0:05:11 > 0:05:12And...

0:05:12 > 0:05:14it's not.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18You have the power to inflict corporal punishment, haven't you?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Yes. We certainly have.- With what? - With this cane here.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Ah, this is it.- Yes.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25This is the instrument of torture.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Now, have you a right to do that without any reference

0:05:28 > 0:05:31- to masters at all?- Yes. It's entirely on my decision alone.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35If a boy has been late for breakfast three times, has been continually

0:05:35 > 0:05:39disobedient, or any other major offence, he can be beaten with that.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41May I meet one of the young gentlemen concerned?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44They should be outside the door by appointment by this time.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48- A young fag called Andrew Dawson. May we have him in?- Yes.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Would you come in, Dawson?

0:05:50 > 0:05:51Sit down.

0:05:51 > 0:05:55Hello, Andrew. Now, what exactly is a fag?

0:05:55 > 0:06:00Well, sir, a fag is a personal assistant of the sixth

0:06:00 > 0:06:03- and has to do manual labour for him. - What kind of jobs?

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Well, things like cleaning shoes or cooking...

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Organising cabinet reshuffles, keeping an eye on the economy,

0:06:10 > 0:06:13invading small countries we've a pretty good chance of beating...

0:06:13 > 0:06:16To start with, I didn't like it at all.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19But as you get used to it, it's not so bad.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Are you looking forward to the day when you have a fag yourself?

0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Very much so, sir. - You spend a great deal of your time cleaning out other people's studies.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28- You have a study of your own? - Yes, I have, sir.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- I share it with another fag. - Now, this is it.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33You share this with another fag.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Share it with another fag. - Another fag.

0:06:37 > 0:06:42This is a barge pole, because I'm not touching any of that!

0:06:42 > 0:06:46As for the older beating the younger boys, well, so what?

0:06:46 > 0:06:49That sort of thing went on in working-class schools too.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Although there, it was less about tradition,

0:06:51 > 0:06:55order and discipline and more about protection money and bags of chips.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59So if all schools have this potential for violence,

0:06:59 > 0:07:02it does make you ask - what normal person would want to be a teacher?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Why do people teach?

0:07:07 > 0:07:11Some people really do want to teach,

0:07:11 > 0:07:14but I'm afraid, at least I think, some of us just drift into it.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19An important distinction has to be made between a sense of vocation,

0:07:19 > 0:07:22a feeling that one is doing something useful and important,

0:07:22 > 0:07:26and a pleasure one gets from the sense of power

0:07:26 > 0:07:29when you come into a form room and you say, "Sit down.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32"Stop talking," and everybody does.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36- (HIGH-PITCHED)- I had a very powerful voice and an aptitude with young people.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38I was taught to hold a piece of chalk. That's as practical

0:07:38 > 0:07:40as you can get. It was a vital lesson. One of the best I had.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42How to stand in front of a blackboard.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45That was a post-graduate department in the university,

0:07:45 > 0:07:47and I think that's exciting.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Well...

0:07:48 > 0:07:52the only good thing I learned when I was being trained as a teacher

0:07:52 > 0:07:54was how to write on a blackboard.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57That was the only thing of relevance.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58I know.

0:07:58 > 0:08:02He's obviously a decent chap and all, but he does look like

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Lily Allen hurriedly disguised as all three members of Atomic Rooster.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07And that nun's wimple!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09This is no simple wimple.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13I name this Darth Vader descending on some goalposts.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Brave souls, all of them.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18No wonder eccentricity be their hallmark.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20They did spend their days amid sights

0:08:20 > 0:08:24and sounds alien to the rest of us.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28THEY PLAY OUT OF TIME

0:08:40 > 0:08:46PLAYS SCALE SLOWLY

0:08:51 > 0:08:54# Runaway, runaway

0:08:54 > 0:08:57# You've got nowhere to turn

0:08:57 > 0:09:01# Runaway, runaway

0:09:01 > 0:09:04# I'm never going to return

0:09:04 > 0:09:08# I'm never going to return. #

0:09:08 > 0:09:11CHILDREN APPLAUD

0:09:14 > 0:09:18Polite applause for a muted freak-out.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21I always find it charming that drummers in school pop bands never

0:09:21 > 0:09:24really move their hands and feet,

0:09:24 > 0:09:27thus reducing even the mightiest kit to a timid tambourine.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30It hints at what Keith Moon might have been like

0:09:30 > 0:09:33if he'd been schooled in North Korea. Oh, yes.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36Let's keep improvisation and flexibility where it belongs.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Out on the playing fields!

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Right, now. Davies, get a rifle out from the cottage.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Take it over to the rifle range.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Murray, you take the other.

0:09:46 > 0:09:51Barton, you can start at golf at the second hole.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54You'll be safe there.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56I don't know what's more impressive here -

0:09:56 > 0:09:58the kids carrying hunting rifles,

0:09:58 > 0:10:01the sheer array of sports available, or the fact the dapper master

0:10:01 > 0:10:04in charge had a primrose for a buttonhole.

0:10:04 > 0:10:09And golf! This is the school that Nintendo Wii was based on.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12'Pogo sticks were all the rage 30 years ago

0:10:12 > 0:10:16'and now they've returned in a big way. These kids even box on them.'

0:10:16 > 0:10:17THEY CHEER

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Pogo-stick boxing? Of course.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23A cornerstone of the curriculum, like skipping-rope wrestling

0:10:23 > 0:10:25and cross-country hula-hoop.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27And these are the traditional schools.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Is it any wonder that our progressive establishments

0:10:30 > 0:10:34really have to go that extra mile...possibly while yo-yoing?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37'Here's a boarding school where youth is not merely allowed

0:10:37 > 0:10:39'but encouraged to have its fling.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42'The headmaster believes that every child should first find himself.

0:10:42 > 0:10:47'Burgess Hill School is against the carbon-copy boarding school product.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50'It does what it can to help each child's personality to develop.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53'The staff of the school believe that if you blindly forbid children

0:10:53 > 0:10:56'to do something, they will certainly revolt.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59'The answer is to allow them to find out for themselves,

0:10:59 > 0:11:02'whether these conventions are good or bad.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05'Besides which, smoking calms the nerves.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08'Teenagers, whether they attend secondary modern, grammar

0:11:08 > 0:11:13'or boarding schools, and of course, the Burgess Hill exponents are tops.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16'Dressed in beat uniform, leather jackets and the rest,

0:11:16 > 0:11:19'they really go to town with the new Chubby Checker disc.'

0:11:22 > 0:11:27'Dartington Hall School. It's before dawn on a winter's day.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31'Every morning, one of the pupils takes it in turn to call the others.

0:11:31 > 0:11:35'Everyone gets called, but not everyone goes to breakfast.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39'In fact, it's a school with very few rules.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43'You can spend your free time as you please. No caning, no detention.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46'You don't have to stay in the school grounds,

0:11:46 > 0:11:48'so long as you're not missing lessons.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50'And anyone over 13 can smoke.'

0:11:50 > 0:11:52What is it with the smoking?!

0:11:52 > 0:11:56How does sucking on a soggy cork tip equate with freedom of choice?

0:11:56 > 0:11:59Got a couple of plantations down Virginia way need

0:11:59 > 0:12:01a bit of boosting, eh, headmaster?

0:12:01 > 0:12:04All smoking will do is give even the most angelic pupil

0:12:04 > 0:12:07a voice like a world-weary old actress.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Listen to the first kid here.

0:12:09 > 0:12:13(HUSKY VOICE) Like, originally, this school's someone's dream.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's stuck in the '30s. It's not progressive any more.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20Can you turn that off, please? You know you're not supposed to.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Hey, Thomas. Thomas, which dorm are you supposed to be in?

0:12:23 > 0:12:26- In this one. - Come on, tell me another one.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Which are you supposed to be in?

0:12:31 > 0:12:35- Come on, get out.- Oh, let me finish this.- No, go on. Get him out.

0:12:35 > 0:12:36I'll take this.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39PLAYS SITAR

0:12:41 > 0:12:44I went to comprehensive for the term,

0:12:44 > 0:12:47because my dad ran out of money, so I couldn't come.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Anyway, and um... The teaching there... You...

0:12:50 > 0:12:53I found myself getting dead bored in the classrooms

0:12:53 > 0:12:55and just falling asleep.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- I still fall asleep in maths lessons.- Yeah, I know.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02I don't do physics or chemistry, cos I found it so boring.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05- I still sort of fall asleep in biology and stuff.- Yeah, right.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07But, I mean, you go to a comprehensive

0:13:07 > 0:13:09and you fall asleep even more.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Good to see St Groovy's Academy of Anything Goes is thrashing

0:13:13 > 0:13:16the somnambulism out of those two livewires.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Like so many slackers,

0:13:18 > 0:13:22they seem to have confused outright revolution with outright hiding.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25How much better to take on the system head-on.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29Out of the schools and into the streets, brothers and sisters! Yes!

0:13:29 > 0:13:32It's the great schoolkid strike of 1972.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35- Going on a strike, then. - Yeah, on Wednesday.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37We assemble at Trafalgar Square.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41So jump on the Tube and if you ain't got any money, obviously, don't pay.

0:13:41 > 0:13:45'For the last few days, truant committee members of the Marxist Leninist group,

0:13:45 > 0:13:49'the Schools Action Union, and all wearing badges of Chairman Mao,

0:13:49 > 0:13:50'have been out with their leaflets

0:13:50 > 0:13:52'in the streets of various parts of London.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55'The response to their campaign is certainly high-spirited,

0:13:55 > 0:13:57'but it's also a little confused.'

0:13:57 > 0:14:01- What did you think of the pamphlets? - I thought it was a good idea, yeah.

0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Why?- It's right. About time someone did something about it.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07That's right, yeah.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11We want something done about the unions and all the caning.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14We're sitting down doing nothing!

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Perhaps it's not the, um...

0:14:17 > 0:14:22Perhaps it's just not the uniform, it's the caning that matters.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26Since when have you had caning? Come on. Go to your lessons quickly now!

0:14:26 > 0:14:29All of you.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31- All right.- Sandra!

0:14:31 > 0:14:33They keep bossing us about.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36Power!

0:14:36 > 0:14:37Not a bad effort.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40True, it fizzled out as soon as Miss Henderson told them

0:14:40 > 0:14:43to stop being so silly and get off to assembly,

0:14:43 > 0:14:47but that was the special gift of all British schoolteachers at one time.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50I always think that Stalin himself would have shrunk

0:14:50 > 0:14:53like a salted snail had a proper UK class warrior told him...

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Sit down, stop talking!

0:14:55 > 0:14:59That said, in '72, the fuse had been lit,

0:14:59 > 0:15:02and the authorities found, as soon as they stamped out one fire,

0:15:02 > 0:15:04five more sprang up elsewhere,

0:15:04 > 0:15:07fuelled by righteous anger, political zeal

0:15:07 > 0:15:11and that most important element for teenage militancy, TV cameras.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13CHEERING AND SHOUTING

0:15:20 > 0:15:24- What do we want? - ALL: Democracy in schools!

0:15:24 > 0:15:26- What do we want? - ALL: Democracy in schools!

0:15:26 > 0:15:29My dad reckons that kids should stick up for their rights

0:15:29 > 0:15:31as much as grown-ups, and he reckons

0:15:31 > 0:15:33that if I want to go out on strike for a good reason,

0:15:33 > 0:15:35he reckons I should go out.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37And what is your reason for being on strike?

0:15:37 > 0:15:39Well, our reason for going out is the lessons.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41They really are terrible, just boring.

0:15:41 > 0:15:45In some lessons, you just sit there doing writing, writing, writing.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Yes, but what one person might find boring another might not.

0:15:48 > 0:15:53Yeah, that's OK, but we've asked them to change it, but they won't.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57- Yeah, we should choose our lessons.- Yeah.

0:15:57 > 0:15:58We want better meals.

0:15:58 > 0:15:59What do you want to see?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Well, revolution, socialist revolution,

0:16:01 > 0:16:05when we've had that, that is when we'll have the schools that we want.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07We've heard a lot about the socialist revolution this morning.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09What do you know about the socialist revolution?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11BOTH: Nothing!

0:16:11 > 0:16:16Our school as a whole isn't really that strict.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Erm, as for the caning, you know,

0:16:19 > 0:16:21there's not that much goes on in our school.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24Only unless there's a real offence.

0:16:24 > 0:16:29'16-year-old Simon, the SAU's information officer,

0:16:29 > 0:16:30'outlined the union's aims.'

0:16:30 > 0:16:36The demands, as you all know, are firstly...

0:16:36 > 0:16:39no compulsory school uniform!

0:16:39 > 0:16:41CROWD CHEERS

0:16:43 > 0:16:44No caning!

0:16:44 > 0:16:46CROWD CHEERS

0:16:46 > 0:16:50A major demand of the working-class kids, the "no caning",

0:16:50 > 0:16:53which is interesting when set against public school boys,

0:16:53 > 0:16:57who, in later life, would spend up to a third of their incomes

0:16:57 > 0:16:59just to receive that sort of thing.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00No detentions!

0:17:00 > 0:17:03CROWD CHEERS

0:17:03 > 0:17:05No victimisation!

0:17:05 > 0:17:07CROWD CHEERS

0:17:07 > 0:17:09And also the demand of schools not prisons!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12We demand to be let out of school in the lunch hour without passes.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14This is one of the major demands of loads of branches

0:17:14 > 0:17:16of the Schools Action Union.

0:17:16 > 0:17:17CROWD CHEERS

0:17:17 > 0:17:20I don't suppose we have achieved a lot, really, coming,

0:17:20 > 0:17:23but it's proof that we can do what we want if we try.

0:17:23 > 0:17:28Everybody else does - look at the miners, they did. And everyone else.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31So why shouldn't we? I mean, we're people, aren't we?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35But young children were shouting, "Kill them, kill them."

0:17:35 > 0:17:38They're treating us like we're still in the nursery and we're not.

0:17:38 > 0:17:42- We're not even allowed out of our school at break time.- Or dinner time.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44Or dinner time, no. We're not allowed...

0:17:44 > 0:17:47And there's nothing in the school for us to do except sit on the grass.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50- The dinners are horrible. - And the dinners are disgusting.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53I like her. And I like the way they wore their ties

0:17:53 > 0:17:55and the fire in their eyes.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58They defied society to judge them.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02Today, their grandkids beg Simon Cowell to do just that.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Has there really been such a shift in playground values?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Were pupils once so focused and militant that they were

0:18:08 > 0:18:12impervious to the shallow distractions of celebrity?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Well, it depends on the calibre of celebrity

0:18:15 > 0:18:17and the distraction involved.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20'You've got to prove that you can do it,

0:18:20 > 0:18:24'and basically I can go to a school and, in a fairly small area,

0:18:24 > 0:18:26'demonstrate that I can ride a bike pretty good.'

0:18:26 > 0:18:29The good side of motorcycling is very good.

0:18:30 > 0:18:34You'll find that during your teenage years, the motorcycle

0:18:34 > 0:18:37will provide you with some very happy memories.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Certainly, there's nothing quite like,

0:18:39 > 0:18:41on a nice, warm summer's evening,

0:18:41 > 0:18:44just sort of swanning around the countryside

0:18:44 > 0:18:48with a bird on the back, maybe looking for a nice, cosy spot.

0:18:48 > 0:18:49His name's Andy Beckford,

0:18:49 > 0:18:53and he's going to dance to Chaka Khan, I Feel For You.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01'This disco isn't laid on for PC Andy Beckford to enjoy himself.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05'His dancing skills are on display as a public relations exercise

0:19:05 > 0:19:08'to show the human face of the police in Hackney.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11'It's part of a desperate battle.

0:19:11 > 0:19:15'At stake, the hearts and minds of the children of the borough.'

0:19:18 > 0:19:20THEY CLAP ALONG TO "AGADOO"

0:19:20 > 0:19:23'And in a junior school in Hackney,

0:19:23 > 0:19:26'the local police join the kids on their own stamping ground.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31'This disco is part of a series of events aimed at changing

0:19:31 > 0:19:34'children's long-term attitudes.'

0:19:34 > 0:19:36That break-dancing police constable!

0:19:36 > 0:19:40The only reason things like THIS exist

0:19:40 > 0:19:43is so downmarket papers and people like me can say,

0:19:43 > 0:19:46"Look, more bobbies are back on the beat,"

0:19:46 > 0:19:50or, "This is PC gone mad!" And nobody wants that.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Puts you right off your dinner.

0:19:52 > 0:19:53Do you like school food?

0:19:53 > 0:19:58- Yes, thank you.- I'd have, erm, fish fingers and chips,

0:19:58 > 0:20:01and, erm, erm...

0:20:02 > 0:20:03..fish and chips.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08- What's your favourite school food? - Shepherd's pie.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10What do you like next?

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Erm, potatoes.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16I mean, they're pretty good here.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19If they eat chips, they usually tend to balance it out with fruit,

0:20:19 > 0:20:21or, like, they quite like cheese.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25'But at lunch time, it only seems to be chips.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28'Chips balanced with gravy, chips balanced with battered things,

0:20:28 > 0:20:31'chips balanced with salt, and chips and cheese.'

0:20:33 > 0:20:37'Now Poltair School has moved computers into the dining room.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40'They give everyone's meal a one to ten health rating.'

0:20:40 > 0:20:41That's quite good.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Chips, number 5.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Beans, number 13.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50That's 4 out of 10, I'm afraid - that's not very good.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52The computer does make an impact.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56If a child sees, "Well done," they feel very happy about that.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59If they see, "Very poor choice, go and look again,"

0:20:59 > 0:21:02they are going to look again.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05That's two out of ten, I'm afraid, that's not very good.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08So, 2 out of 10 - that's a very unhealthy meal, then, isn't it?

0:21:08 > 0:21:09Yes.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12- What made you choose it?- Cos I just like chips and chocolate slices.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15- Is this what you eat more or less every day?- Yeah.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18Do you think, now that you know it's not very good for you,

0:21:18 > 0:21:19you might choose other things?

0:21:19 > 0:21:21No, I'll still carry on having this.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25That's 1 out of 10, I'm afraid.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I'm afraid that's a terrible meal.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Well, if you think THAT'S a terrible meal,

0:21:29 > 0:21:33you wait till you grow up and have to kill time in a British airport.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36See, that's the trouble with computers - all cold logic,

0:21:36 > 0:21:37no hot saveloys.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38SIZZLING

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I think I'll write that down later - that's brilliant.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42Anyway, as we saw,

0:21:42 > 0:21:44there hasn't been a computer invented

0:21:44 > 0:21:46that can come up with an answer

0:21:46 > 0:21:48to a British schoolgirl saying, "What for?"

0:21:48 > 0:21:51followed by a curt, "No, thanks."

0:21:51 > 0:21:54Even so, today's schools could not operate without the laptop,

0:21:54 > 0:21:56the tablet and the internet.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Bringing an apple for your teacher has a whole new meaning.

0:21:59 > 0:22:04So let us now salute one set of scientific classroom pioneers

0:22:04 > 0:22:07and their pocket-sized electronic friend, Nellie.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11Preparing Nellie to do a day's work has become a well-practised routine.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14OK, Peter, the keys are in.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16All right, keys in.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Can you check disk oil level, please, Harry?

0:22:20 > 0:22:21Oil OK.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24Right, can you check disk temperatures please, Malcolm?

0:22:24 > 0:22:26OK, disk up to speed.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27Hello, alternator house?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Disk oil and temperature OK. Is it OK your end?

0:22:31 > 0:22:34Rotor, alternator on.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35OK for stand-by.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Switch on stand-by, Peter.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Stand-by coming on.

0:22:52 > 0:22:53GENERATOR POWERS UP

0:22:56 > 0:22:57OK, HD coming on.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02The computer is ready for use.

0:23:02 > 0:23:03I know.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Why can't computers today fire up as quickly as that?

0:23:06 > 0:23:09..a programme that enables the boys to write tunes

0:23:09 > 0:23:10and have them performed by Nellie.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13NELLIE BEEPS

0:23:13 > 0:23:16NELLIE BEEPS TO TUNE OF "What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor?"

0:23:21 > 0:23:24The boys have calculated that Nellie fails

0:23:24 > 0:23:26once in every 12 hours of running time.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28When this happens, they go into their breakdown team.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31# Baby, baby When I look at you... #

0:23:31 > 0:23:33He said breakDOWN routine.

0:23:33 > 0:23:34Continue.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36BEEPING CONTINUES

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- HD gone off.- Thermostats. Check thermostats, please, Peter.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Line failure.

0:23:41 > 0:23:42RAPID BEEPING

0:23:45 > 0:23:47OK... No.

0:23:47 > 0:23:48- What...?- Four.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53Peter, change line four, please. System centre one.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Most adults still find computers a bit of a mystery,

0:23:56 > 0:23:59but for youngsters like these, brought up in a world of diodes

0:23:59 > 0:24:03and transistors, there's nothing mysterious about a computer.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06TUNE CONTINUES

0:24:07 > 0:24:09RAPID BEEPING

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Check thermostats, please, Peter.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14I understand the journey of a million miles

0:24:14 > 0:24:15begins with a single step,

0:24:15 > 0:24:18but even then that must have seemed an awfully long way to go

0:24:18 > 0:24:22just to get 40% of What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24And a pretty rudimentary version, at that.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27The thing that made the theme for Doctor Who in 1963

0:24:27 > 0:24:29must have been the size of Quebec!

0:24:29 > 0:24:31The irony also is that, as ever,

0:24:31 > 0:24:34the nerdy kids do all the heavy lifting in development,

0:24:34 > 0:24:38but then the bad boys get the glory when they steal the machines

0:24:38 > 0:24:39and form Depeche Mode.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41# I just can't get enough... #

0:24:41 > 0:24:44They probably weren't even in school that day.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48You don't think it's irresponsible to refuse to go to school?

0:24:48 > 0:24:52No. You don't want to go, you just don't go. And that's it.

0:24:52 > 0:24:53Morris.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55No, Keith never gets up, does he?

0:24:55 > 0:24:57What time will you get up today?

0:24:57 > 0:24:59I'll probably get up about half two to three.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01- And you're going to go into school? - Nah.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Charlie's had a chequered career.

0:25:04 > 0:25:08A spell in the RAF, a merchant navy catering officer,

0:25:08 > 0:25:10a hotelier and a ballroom bouncer.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13Today, at 35, he's the youngest

0:25:13 > 0:25:16of Southampton's 14 education welfare officers.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20Since signing on five years ago, he's grown a beard

0:25:20 > 0:25:22to give him dignity and authority.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34He's the education welfare officer.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36His job - to sell education.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Charlie's at this office for half an hour every morning.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41It's the only routine part of his day.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44I think I know you, you're up the road, aren't you? With Mum?

0:25:44 > 0:25:45- No.- Pardon?

0:25:45 > 0:25:47I'm the school welfare officer.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49- No, I've left school. - Yeah, you have.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51- What school are you? - Bitterne Park.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Why aren't you at school?

0:25:53 > 0:25:54Got a cold.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57- What are you doing out shopping, then?- I'm...

0:25:57 > 0:25:59He's got to get some clothes for a wedding,

0:25:59 > 0:26:00he's going to a wedding tomorrow.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Ah, that's more like it. And he's got a cold. Ah.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05- Yeah, that's right.- Yeah, he has, as well.- And what's your name?

0:26:05 > 0:26:07Why's the little 'un not at school?

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Why?- Yeah.

0:26:09 > 0:26:10She's, um...

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Well, Mum phoned up the school this afternoon.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15- Oh, she's phoned, has she?- Yes. - She has or she's going to?

0:26:15 > 0:26:18She has. Well, the school phoned her,

0:26:18 > 0:26:20- and she's been in this afternoon. - What's wrong?

0:26:20 > 0:26:23- We overslept.- Overslept! Couldn't you have gone in late?

0:26:23 > 0:26:25It's not our fault, it's the baby!

0:26:25 > 0:26:27You could've gone in late, couldn't you?

0:26:27 > 0:26:30- What, at half past ten?- Yes, that's better than not going at all.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33- I shall go... - You'll tell Mum I stopped you?- Yeah.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36All right. And you'll let Mr Norton know at school.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38- Yeah?- Yeah.- All right, then.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41It's a good thing he's got that beard for authority, eh?

0:26:41 > 0:26:44Or else them mums might have said, "Ah, push off, stupid George

0:26:44 > 0:26:46"from George And Mildred."

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Ah, Christchurch.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Blooming kids again, I suppose.

0:26:52 > 0:26:56You get annoyed, but this is one of the things you've got to accept.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Charlie's the only officer in Southampton to live on his patch.

0:26:59 > 0:27:03He sometimes pays a price for this devotion to duty.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06This is the 13th time his tyres have been let down.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Charlie Trayhorn's ready for anything -

0:27:08 > 0:27:10especially when ferrying children.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13If it's just vomit, well, I'll wash it at home

0:27:13 > 0:27:14and use a strong disinfectant.

0:27:14 > 0:27:18But... if it's urine, the same again,

0:27:18 > 0:27:21but if I think it's bugs or some sort,

0:27:21 > 0:27:23I'd get it done here, as my clothes.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Granville?

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Here.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29I've just taken a couple of kids to the school nurse.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31I think they're lousy. Can I have your treatment?

0:27:31 > 0:27:32Oh, certainly. Yeah.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35- You'd like your clothes disinfected? - Yeah, and me. And the car.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38Charlie visits his local fumigation centre about twice a month.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Dear Lord, he's only been in contact with a couple of kids!

0:27:50 > 0:27:52That's a phobia to make the Child Catcher

0:27:52 > 0:27:55in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang seem like...Angelina Jolie.

0:27:55 > 0:27:59Of course, those kids he targeted were happily hopping the wag -

0:27:59 > 0:28:01swinging the lead, sagging off

0:28:01 > 0:28:04or whatever regional variation you'd care to conjure up.

0:28:04 > 0:28:07Strange, then, that thousands of them would later join

0:28:07 > 0:28:12Friends Reunited just to wax nostalgic about the old dump.

0:28:12 > 0:28:15And then there are those who never leave school.

0:28:15 > 0:28:16Not mentally - physically.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19In my day, they even used to have their own little house,

0:28:19 > 0:28:21built right on the property.

0:28:21 > 0:28:22KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

0:28:22 > 0:28:24- Morning.- Morning, Ken, how are you?

0:28:24 > 0:28:26- I'm very well, thank you.- Good.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28- Did you have a nice weekend?- Lovely.

0:28:28 > 0:28:31Guess what I saw on the drive on Friday night, late.

0:28:31 > 0:28:33- A fox?- A badger.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35Thank you, bye.

0:28:35 > 0:28:36Wow.

0:28:36 > 0:28:40Brutal, eh? Nobody talks to the headteacher like that.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44Or rather, nobody DOESN'T talk to the headteacher like that.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47But then, men like him, they've seen it all before.

0:28:47 > 0:28:50They know teachers, pupils, fads and curriculums,

0:28:50 > 0:28:54Ofsted and camera crews may all come and go,

0:28:54 > 0:28:56but the caretaker goes on for ever.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58BELL RINGS

0:28:58 > 0:28:59Good night, chums.

0:28:59 > 0:29:02# Remember the days of the old schoolyard

0:29:02 > 0:29:04# We used to laugh a lot

0:29:04 > 0:29:09# Oh, don't you remember the days of the old schoolyard?

0:29:11 > 0:29:14# When we had imaginings

0:29:14 > 0:29:18# And we had all kinds of things

0:29:18 > 0:29:21# And we laughed and needed love

0:29:21 > 0:29:23# Yes, I do

0:29:23 > 0:29:26# Oh, and I remember you

0:29:31 > 0:29:33# I remember you. #