0:00:02 > 0:00:06This is the story of popular entertainment...
0:00:06 > 0:00:09..from the music hall era of the 19th century...
0:00:09 > 0:00:10Don't you know Mrs Kelly?
0:00:10 > 0:00:13..through the golden age of variety...
0:00:13 > 0:00:16..to the working men's clubs of the 1950s.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18I love it.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20I'm Frank Skinner, a comedian.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23And I'm Suzy Klein, a music presenter.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Together, we plan to celebrate our rich entertainment heritage
0:00:26 > 0:00:31by finding out all we can about the great acts of the past,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34and yes, by having a go ourselves.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35It's harder than it looks.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38So join us now as we go back to a time
0:00:38 > 0:00:40when Britain really did have talent.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07By the 1930s, live entertainment was bigger
0:01:07 > 0:01:09and glitzier than ever before.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Variety had arrived and the British public
0:01:13 > 0:01:15showed that they liked their entertainment...
0:01:15 > 0:01:17well, varied.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19And with the Second World War on the horizon,
0:01:19 > 0:01:24we were about to find ourselves in need of escapism, solidarity
0:01:24 > 0:01:26and a good old laugh more than ever before.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31In this programme, Suzy and I will be taking on two
0:01:31 > 0:01:35superstars from this era, although from very different worlds.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I'll be doing not one, but three performances,
0:01:40 > 0:01:43single-handedly recreating all-female American group
0:01:43 > 0:01:44the Andrew Sisters.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49- BOTH:- # Till I come marching home. #
0:01:49 > 0:01:51THEY CHEER 'Oh, show-off!'
0:01:53 > 0:01:57I'll be recreating a British national treasure who said himself,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59"They'll never be another," Max Miller.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Yeah, best of luck with that, Frank.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Fish and chips, bra straps, rock.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10And variety would face its biggest challenge yet,
0:02:10 > 0:02:12the birth of telly.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24It's September 1939.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26In 10 Downing Street's cabinet room,
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain addresses the nation.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34IMITATES CHAMBERLAIN: You can imagine
0:02:34 > 0:02:37what a bitter blow it is to me
0:02:37 > 0:02:42that all my long struggle to win peace has failed.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Britain was at war with...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- RECORDS SCRATCHES Line.- (Germany.)
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Germany.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54EXPLOSIONS
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Amid the turmoil, one of the first things the government did was
0:02:58 > 0:03:00close all the theatres.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05But that didn't last long - only 12 days, in fact.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Not even Hitler's nightly air raids could stop people
0:03:08 > 0:03:10going to the variety theatre.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13And they were willing to risk life and limb to get there.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16It's 1940 and I'm going out for the night.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'm feeling...
0:03:18 > 0:03:20AEROPLANE ROARS
0:03:20 > 0:03:21You'd better run, Frank.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Seven London variety theatres were bombed during the Blitz.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32If this was 1940 and we were going out to see a show,
0:03:32 > 0:03:35we would have our gas masks, wouldn't we, for a starter?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Yes, we would have our gas masks.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39We're in our seats, the show starts, fantastic.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41The air raid siren goes off.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Anybody who doesn't want to stay in the theatre can leave,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47but for the most part, audiences did just stay. They would've remained in
0:03:47 > 0:03:51their seats and then the show would have carried on as normal.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53The catch was that if you stayed,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56you were probably there for the long haul because once the bombs
0:03:56 > 0:03:59started falling, you know, people didn't want to walk around outside.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04Is it true the blackout Vera Lynn gig, that story?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- Yes, it is true. - So, tell me what happened.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09She started singing and all the lights went out
0:04:09 > 0:04:10and the power went in the theatre.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12So, she went to the side of the stage where there was
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- a microphone, battery-powered microphone...- Oh, OK.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19..waiting for her. And she brought that on, continued singing
0:04:19 > 0:04:21and the audience members then used their torches
0:04:21 > 0:04:24that they had bought to provide the lighting.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I find that quite a moving story.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28It really captures something about
0:04:28 > 0:04:31the sort of DIY spirit of World War II.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33You know, we are going to keep going against the odds
0:04:33 > 0:04:36even if the audience have to supply the lighting.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Well, I'll tell you what I'd like to try and do
0:04:38 > 0:04:43is recreate the sort of Blitz audience experience
0:04:43 > 0:04:44just to see how it felt.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47So, cue air raid siren.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49AIR RAID SIREN WAILS
0:04:49 > 0:04:51'Vera wasn't available,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54'but Suzy has agreed to do her bit for the war effort.'
0:04:55 > 0:05:02# They'll be bluebirds over
0:05:03 > 0:05:07# The white cliffs of Dover
0:05:09 > 0:05:11# Tomorrow
0:05:11 > 0:05:17# Just you wait and see
0:05:18 > 0:05:24# They'll be love and laughter
0:05:25 > 0:05:30# And peace ever after
0:05:30 > 0:05:33# Tomorrow
0:05:34 > 0:05:42# When the world is free. #
0:05:46 > 0:05:48BOTH CHEER
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Do another one, Vera, the doors are locked.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54'That's your lot, Frank. I've got places to be.'
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Fair enough, Vera. I'm sure we'll meet agai... Um...
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- VERA LYNN:- # We'll meet again
0:06:03 > 0:06:04# Don't know where... #
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Vera Lynn certainly had a busy war.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11Her radio show, Sincerely Yours, made her a star both home and abroad.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14And fans were desperate to see the sweet singer
0:06:14 > 0:06:17of sweet songs in real life.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19But what was it that made
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Vera the most successful female entertainer of her era?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26The sorts of song she sang seemed to resonate with the particular
0:06:26 > 0:06:28concerns of the wartime moment.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32You know, lots of romantic songs and sentimental songs
0:06:32 > 0:06:35that had a nostalgic feel and I think, again, this was a time
0:06:35 > 0:06:39where families were being torn apart and somehow she seemed to
0:06:39 > 0:06:42provide a way for people to express some of these emotions.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Is it true that the authorities weren't quite sure about Vera Lynn?
0:06:47 > 0:06:53In 1942, this was shortly after her radio show began,
0:06:53 > 0:06:57there was a massive explosion in the newspapers
0:06:57 > 0:07:00after a retired lieutenant colonel published a very inflammatory letter
0:07:00 > 0:07:04accusing Vera Lynn of singing soppy, sentimental rubbish.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07And in fact, he even suggested that the reason
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Britain was doing badly in the war at this point was
0:07:09 > 0:07:11because soldiers were spending too much time listening to
0:07:11 > 0:07:14her effeminate, sentimental songs
0:07:14 > 0:07:17and not listening to actual, you know, proper marching fare.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20The BBC set up a dance music policy community,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23which was also known as the Anti-Slush Committee.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Oh, OK, Anti-Slush, as in...?
0:07:24 > 0:07:28As a anti-soppy, sentimental, Vera Lynn-type music,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30to vet performers to make sure that they were singing
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- in a suitably virile style. - HE LAUGHS
0:07:34 > 0:07:40MUSIC: White Cliffs Of Dover by Vera Lynn
0:07:42 > 0:07:45It is hard to think of our Vera's songs as controversial.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47The White Cliffs Of Dover was to become
0:07:47 > 0:07:50a sort of wartime national anthem.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Any amateur ornithologist will tell you
0:07:53 > 0:07:56there are no bluebirds off the coast of Kent.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Incredibly, the song was written by two Americans.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01It was very much their perception of Britishness,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04but that didn't seem to bother the crowds singing along
0:08:04 > 0:08:06in the variety theatres and the NAAFI halls.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09They thought it was as British as apple pie.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Um... Pork pie.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18But the Americans were about to really muscle in
0:08:18 > 0:08:20on our entertainment.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24CHEERING
0:08:24 > 0:08:29With the war over, everyone wanted to let their hair down.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31This was a boom time for the theatres.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Whilst rationing continued, there was little else to spend your money on,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37so why not go out for the night?
0:08:39 > 0:08:44In London, the famous Palladium was looking to the future.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48And in 1945, it got a new manager, Val Parnell.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51He decided it was time to shake things up
0:08:51 > 0:08:54and looked across the Atlantic for some new talent.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57British audiences loved it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02Music hall and variety had always welcomed foreign acts,
0:09:02 > 0:09:06but this insatiable appetite for all things American was new.
0:09:06 > 0:09:12MUSIC: Steppin' Out With My Baby
0:09:12 > 0:09:16So, what made us Brits so obsessed with everything American?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17I think in the wake of the war
0:09:17 > 0:09:20where there's been so much death, destruction, deprivation,
0:09:20 > 0:09:24I think there is a real sense that this is the new world.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26This is something that is vital, that's vibrant,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29that's optimistic, that's forward-looking, that's fresh.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32And I think, you know, for British audiences,
0:09:32 > 0:09:34that injection of energy, that vitality is something
0:09:34 > 0:09:36that they really respond to.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Soon Americans were appearing at the top of the bill.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46In February 1948,
0:09:46 > 0:09:50the American film star Danny Kaye drove audiences wild
0:09:50 > 0:09:52at the Palladium.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54The venue was sold out for six weeks
0:09:54 > 0:09:57and unsurprisingly, it wasn't long before other US acts
0:09:57 > 0:10:00ventured across the pond.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03But what was happening to all our British stars?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06The legend would be that it's really tough times for them,
0:10:06 > 0:10:08that they're being squeezed out by,
0:10:08 > 0:10:10you know, Danny Kaye and then the Andrew Sisters
0:10:10 > 0:10:14and then this whole slew of people - Sinatra, whoever, Nat King Cole -
0:10:14 > 0:10:17who'd come over. But if you actually look at the playbills for all of
0:10:17 > 0:10:20those acts, they've always got British acts on the undercard.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23So, Val Parnell's argument would always be,
0:10:23 > 0:10:26"I'm bringing over the people who will fill the theatres,
0:10:26 > 0:10:28"who I know there is a demand for
0:10:28 > 0:10:30"and if there are British acts of that calibre,
0:10:30 > 0:10:32"they will also be the headliners."
0:10:32 > 0:10:34You mentioned the Andrew Sisters,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37an act I have loved since I was very little,
0:10:37 > 0:10:40how did they capture the British imagination?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I think you've got to start with the music.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44They were formidably good at what they did.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47You know, their three-part harmonies
0:10:47 > 0:10:51sung in this incredibly sort of strong, powerful way that made them
0:10:51 > 0:10:54sound a bit like a sort of horn section in a swing band.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way
0:10:57 > 0:11:00# He had a boogie style that no-one else could play
0:11:00 > 0:11:02# He was the top man at his craft... #
0:11:02 > 0:11:05That swing jazz music was the most popular music form
0:11:05 > 0:11:08on both sides of the Atlantic in the '30s and '40s.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10# He's a boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B
0:11:10 > 0:11:13# A-toot, a-toot, a-toot-diddelyada-toot
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# Blows an eight... #
0:11:15 > 0:11:17That sort of zest that they bring to their recording work
0:11:17 > 0:11:20and, you know, when they're on film and when they're on stage,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22you know, is infectious.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25You know, globally infectious.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29# He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B. #
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Greetings from the Andrews Sisters, I'm Patty.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- I'm Maxene.- And I'm LaVerne.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- SUZY:- The Minnesota-born Andrew Sisters became
0:11:39 > 0:11:43one of the most successful female groups of all time.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47In July 1948, they arrived for a month-long engagement
0:11:47 > 0:11:51at the London Palladium and they were a massive hit,
0:11:51 > 0:11:54treating audiences to hour-long encores.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01For my final performance, I've decided to go all out and try
0:12:01 > 0:12:05and recreate the unique sound of this legendary group.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09# Bei mir bist du schon
0:12:09 > 0:12:12# Please let me explain
0:12:12 > 0:12:14# Bei mir bist du schon... #
0:12:14 > 0:12:19I have always loved that American sound.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21The music of the '30s and '40s,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23the music that my grandparents used to listen to
0:12:23 > 0:12:26and that they played me as a kid.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28So, I've sort of set myself this challenge,
0:12:28 > 0:12:31which is that I want to try and do all three vocal lines
0:12:31 > 0:12:34in an Andrew Sisters' number because I have this theory
0:12:34 > 0:12:36that part of the reason they were so good is
0:12:36 > 0:12:37because their vocal cords,
0:12:37 > 0:12:41the biomechanics of their singing voices, was so similar.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43And if I can somehow use my voice
0:12:43 > 0:12:46and do three different musical lines,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49maybe I'll get somewhere close to finding that blend
0:12:49 > 0:12:50that the Andrew Sisters got.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I don't hope to have a shred of the musicianship,
0:12:53 > 0:12:57but I think it's going to be a really fascinating experiment.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11By the early 1950s, US megastars like your fancy Andrew Sisters
0:13:11 > 0:13:13were regularly topping the bill.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17I can imagine how annoyed the home-grown talent must have felt.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Sorry, Frank.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Of course, no performer would have dreamed of
0:13:22 > 0:13:25airing these grievances on stage.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Well... Maybe one performer.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Max Miller was Britain's most popular comedian for decades
0:13:34 > 0:13:37and as one of the highest-paid variety stars of his era,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40he generally had little to grumble about.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43But at the 1950 Royal Variety Performance,
0:13:43 > 0:13:46he was sharing the bill with American Jack Benny
0:13:46 > 0:13:48who had been allotted 20 minutes.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Poor old Max had just six.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55So, Miller begins his act, it's going well. He starts to ad-lib.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58He starts to abandon his rehearsed routine.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Time goes on.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Pretty soon the stage manager is in the wings...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04WHISPERS: "Come off, come off!"
0:14:04 > 0:14:06So, Miller turns to him and says,
0:14:06 > 0:14:09"Hey, the others have had their chance, let me have mine."
0:14:09 > 0:14:13And then he turned to the crowd and says, "The Americans do."
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Big cheer. He's absolutely got them.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21He walks into the wings, Val Parnell stands there furious.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24"Miller," he says, "you'll never work for me again."
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Of course, Max, by this stage, he's a big star, very established.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32"Sorry, Val," he says, "you're £70,000 too late."
0:14:34 > 0:14:38# I fell in love with Mary from the dairy
0:14:39 > 0:14:42# But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me. #
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Miller was one of the first recognizably modern stand-ups.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51His live performance was the key
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and influenced generations to come. Me included.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Trying to recreate his act is a hard task
0:14:58 > 0:15:01and it's going to require a bit of homework.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05In the 1939 film Hoots Mon!,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Max played a comedian called Harry Hawkins.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11It was a wonderful excuse for him to reproduce his own act
0:15:11 > 0:15:13on the big screen.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15'I went to Blackpool. I went there looking for rooms and I
0:15:15 > 0:15:18'knocked on a door. And the old lady came to the door, a nice lady.'
0:15:18 > 0:15:21A little bit and some more, not quite so much and then perhaps.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23And that's all I want just a little encouragement.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27She said, "What do you want?" I said, "Could you accommodate me?"
0:15:27 > 0:15:28She said, "I'm sorry, I'm full up."
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I said, "But surely you could squeeze me in the little
0:15:31 > 0:15:32"back room, couldn't ya?"
0:15:32 > 0:15:35She said, "I could, but I haven't got time now."
0:15:35 > 0:15:38LOUDLY: I think the first thing that you no...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42I think the...
0:15:43 > 0:15:45..the first thing that you notice about Max Miller is that
0:15:45 > 0:15:48the audience are leading Max astray.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50That is what he is trying to put across.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54That he is, in fact, quite a decent, respectable chap,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58but they keep encouraging him to be rude.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00'I like the girls who do,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02'I like the girls who don't.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05'I hate the girl who says she will and then she says she won't.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08'But the girl I like the best of all
0:16:08 > 0:16:10'and I think you'll say I'm right,
0:16:10 > 0:16:13'is the girl who says she never does but she looks as though she...
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- 'Here! This...' - LAUGHTER
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Part of Miller's thing is the classic naughty schoolboy thing.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21So, to be a naughty schoolboy,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24he needs a class and he also needs a teacher.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's the dynamic of a naughty schoolboy.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29So, what he does in this, first of all,
0:16:29 > 0:16:31he goes up to the audience and you see he gets...
0:16:31 > 0:16:34here really close. He's leaning in like this
0:16:34 > 0:16:36cos he's kind of confiding in them,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39but he points out that the manager is in the wings
0:16:39 > 0:16:41and he goes and has a look back there.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44And you see him go back and then he comes back and leans in again.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48So, he's conspiratorial, which, of course, the audience love
0:16:48 > 0:16:51because now he's the naughty boy, they're the class who love him,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54but the teacher's always hovering in the background
0:16:54 > 0:16:57and physically he emits that thing.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00He ends up praying for forgiveness there at this point.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03It's perfect.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08There is something intrinsically funny about him.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11And of course, like all comedians,
0:17:11 > 0:17:14I feel I have that as well,
0:17:14 > 0:17:16but I don't have it the way he has it.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21So, the performance is to try and get to the real core
0:17:21 > 0:17:25of those funny bones, to the marrow of those funny bones.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27'Splits.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31'Now I don't know if you want it. Goodnight!'
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Before we can get on with our acts, we want to pay our respects to
0:17:39 > 0:17:43some of the performers Max Miller might have bumped into backstage.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Alongside the big stars,
0:17:45 > 0:17:49variety had always been full of wacky novelty acts.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50They would come and go,
0:17:50 > 0:17:56but one much-loved act was to enjoy a variety career spanning four decades.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59This was the novelty act that never lost its novelty.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Wilson, Keppel and Betty were regulars on British variety bills
0:18:10 > 0:18:12throughout the '30s and '40s,
0:18:12 > 0:18:16but incredibly, they were still going until 1963
0:18:16 > 0:18:18by which time they were almost 70.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Their famous sand dance was a two-handed routine.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Presumably, Betty decided to sit this one out.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31And now we're going to find out if their act still endures today
0:18:31 > 0:18:34by stepping into their gritty, sweaty sandals.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Eurgh, Frank.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- Oh, hi, hi.- I'm Suzy.- Hi, Suzy. Really pleased to meet you.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- Nice to meet you, how are you? - I'm fine, thank you. Hi, Frank.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44Lovely.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I brought the sand.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48That's a bit ambitious, Frank, but...
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- What, the sand? Straight away. - It's not easy, but...
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- OK.- I think we could put that down when you've learnt it.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- Oh, OK.- I'm sorry.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59The sand dance was a dance on sand.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01And you get this shuffling movement
0:19:01 > 0:19:04and actually, that's part of the essence of this,
0:19:04 > 0:19:08is you shuffle backwards, which is what makes the noise of the sand.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12But actually, it's a tap dance and it's not easy.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16It's so incredibly popular and it lasted.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19And you can watch it now and it's still funny.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20I think it is.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Is it just about funny hats?
0:19:21 > 0:19:24I think it's partly their expressions.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28I mean, they are... They do... But they're also very well together.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31They're also very good tappers. They are very good.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I wish you'd stop saying that cos we aren't.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34THEY LAUGH
0:19:39 > 0:19:41This is where you come on with the sand
0:19:41 > 0:19:44and you just come across the stage and you're sprinkling the sand.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46I'm on the verge of sprinkling.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- I'm waiting. - That's how excited I am.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52And you do now. And you're doing that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Sorry about that.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55It's the other way, yeah.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Slow, quick, quick, quick.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Five, six, seven...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- And we've got to work out... - THEY LAUGH
0:20:03 > 0:20:05That was terrible!
0:20:05 > 0:20:08The most important thing is the face, the personality.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12It's the idea that these two never smile. They had...
0:20:15 > 0:20:22The sand dance was inspired by the 1920s craze for all things Egyptian.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25But it was their energy as performers,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27and of course, their splendid facial hair
0:20:27 > 0:20:29that was to stand the test of time.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36JACQUIE LAUGHS
0:20:36 > 0:20:38So, we're going to go from the top?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20One, two, three, four. One.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Six, seven, eight.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26One, two, three, four,
0:21:26 > 0:21:28five, six, seven, eight.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30One, two, three, four,
0:21:30 > 0:21:32five, six, lift the leg.
0:21:32 > 0:21:37One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
0:21:38 > 0:21:43- Yes! Yes! You got it. - We did it, we get it, we did it!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46They did it for decades and it still made people laugh.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48It never got unfunny.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51No, that's the trouble with words.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I think words have got a sell-by date in comedy,
0:21:54 > 0:21:58but physical funniness like that, I think, it does last forever.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04I don't know how many hard-core Wilson, Keppel and Betty fans
0:22:04 > 0:22:08there are out there, but if you're watching, we apologise.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13The Andrew Sisters, on the other hand,
0:22:13 > 0:22:16have a dedicated army of followers.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19And I've enlisted some help to ensure I'm getting the act right.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24- MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND - Do you hear that?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28That is the unmistakably gorgeous, close harmony sound
0:22:28 > 0:22:30that was championed by the Andrew Sisters.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I have loved this sound for years
0:22:32 > 0:22:36and now, I've come here to recreate it on my own.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44# Can't blow a note if the bass and guitar
0:22:44 > 0:22:46# Isn't goin' with him
0:22:46 > 0:22:49# And the company jumps when he was reveillin'
0:22:49 > 0:22:55# He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B. #
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- SHE APPLAUDS - Woo!
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- If I'm going to do this and have a go at doing it...- If?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03..as well as I can, what for you...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05what are the key tips you can give me
0:23:05 > 0:23:07for a really good, convincing Andrew Sister?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- The right notes. - THEY LAUGH
0:23:09 > 0:23:10The right... Thanks.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Is it going to be impossible to do
0:23:12 > 0:23:14cos I've waltzed into this thinking,
0:23:14 > 0:23:17"I've always wanted to be the Andrew Sisters. I'll be all three of them."
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- If you really concentrate... - Well, that is impossible.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Just concentrate on the line when we come to teaching you your line,
0:23:22 > 0:23:24just really concentrate on that.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Treat each line as part, you know, one of three.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Part of a group, don't try to solo anything
0:23:29 > 0:23:33because it's just a togetherness and a blend that you're going for.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35So, the song I really want to sing,
0:23:35 > 0:23:37it is a song I have loved since I was teeny-weeny,
0:23:37 > 0:23:39is Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- ALL: Oh, yeah.- And I chose it cos it sounds simple.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- Hm.- Yes. - THEY CHUCKLE
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- Bits of it.- OK, how are you going to teach me?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Well, look, the Andrew Sisters were very clever with their arrangements.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52They often passed the tune between harmony lines,
0:23:52 > 0:23:54but I do start with the tune as the middle part.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57So, perhaps I'll start with teaching you the middle.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- The middle part starts with the tune?- The middle part starts with
0:23:59 > 0:24:02the tune. It's like a musical baton. It does get passed across to the top
0:24:02 > 0:24:05line, but if I just teach you the middle to begin with...
0:24:05 > 0:24:08# Don't sit under the apple tree... #
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- You making notes?- Yes.- OK.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13# With anyone else but me... #
0:24:13 > 0:24:15# Me. # Yes.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17# Anyone else but me... #
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- The words are very easy. - LAUGHTER
0:24:19 > 0:24:20That's why I chose it.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22# Anyone else but me. #
0:24:22 > 0:24:24# Anyone else but me
0:24:24 > 0:24:26# No, no, no... #
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- ALL: Ooh.- Saucy.- It's starting.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- # Anyone else but me... - BOTH:- # No, no, no. #
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Just do it with your eyebrows. It helps.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- # No, no, no. # - That's it. There you go.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Oh, I like that. Wait, I'm writing "eyebrow."
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- LAUGHTER - OK.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43- BOTH:- # Don't sit under the apple tree.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46# With anyone else but me.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50# Anyone else but me
0:24:50 > 0:24:52# Anyone else but me
0:24:52 > 0:24:54# No, no, no
0:24:54 > 0:24:55# Don't sit under the apple tree... #
0:24:55 > 0:24:57It works.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59# With anyone else but me
0:24:59 > 0:25:04# Till I come marching home. #
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- CHEERING - That's one line...- Is that it?
0:25:08 > 0:25:12..of three in an entire song.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16What I'm nervous about is blending. I want to try and have a go.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20- If I step out, you could be the me. - I shall be the Sarah.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22OK. Can we do that?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24PIANIST: A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- ALL:- # Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me... #
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Oh, it's fun!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- # Anyone else but me... # - Don't sack me.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Anyone else but me
0:25:33 > 0:25:34# No, no, no
0:25:34 > 0:25:38# Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
0:25:38 > 0:25:43# Till I come marching home.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48Oh! Oh, I love this, I love this. I've died and gone to heaven.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50'You can see why people fell in love with the sound'
0:25:50 > 0:25:52that these girls made.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56It's just pure happiness encompassed in one song
0:25:56 > 0:25:59and if I could get just a little bit of that, I will feel so thrilled.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Thank you so much, all of you. Thank you.- No problem.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- You're very welcome. - Wish me luck.- Good luck.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05- Well done, though. Well done. - Thanks.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12How are you getting on, Frank?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I'm trying a bit of method acting
0:26:13 > 0:26:17and I'm immersing myself in the world of Max Miller.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20He lived his whole life in Brighton and loved the place.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21So where better to start?
0:26:23 > 0:26:26I do think if you want to be Max Miller,
0:26:26 > 0:26:28you should come to Brighton,
0:26:28 > 0:26:30because once you walk around here,
0:26:30 > 0:26:34the sort of idea of cheekiness is unavoidable.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39You know, it is the place, it's every seaside postcard you've ever seen.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41And that's what Max Miller was all about.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43# I'm known as a cheeky chappie
0:26:43 > 0:26:45# The things I say are snappy
0:26:45 > 0:26:46# That's why... #
0:26:46 > 0:26:50In fact, there is a Brighton chippy dedicated to the Cheeky Chappie.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54And it's the headquarters of a loyal band of Max Miller followers.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58If I'm to recreate Miller's act, I'd better get their approval first.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03I'm looking for the Max Miller Appreciation Society,
0:27:03 > 0:27:05am I in the right place?
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- Yes.- Yeah.- Right. So thank you for meeting up like this.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13I kind of like it. It looks like we are plotting something.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Did any of you see him on stage?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17- I did, yes. I did. - OK, when did you see him?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19At the Croydon Empire.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21And then another time I saw him at the London Palladium.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23And it was his presence. It was his presence.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26He had those blue eyes, the ladies all liked the blue eyes.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29The blokes all liked the sort of cheeky chappie,
0:27:29 > 0:27:32he's Jack the Lad, stuff like that. So everybody loved him.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35I'm going to go and try and do Max Miller.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39I'm sure you've seen a few Max Miller impressionists.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40There'll never be another.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45Why did I choose to be someone who said himself,
0:27:45 > 0:27:46"There'll never be another"?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48True.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Can you give me any tips?
0:27:49 > 0:27:52You can learn all the jokes and you can go onstage and tell them,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55but you are not going to get the laughs because it was the...
0:27:55 > 0:27:58- "There'll never be another," he said, which is absolutely true.- Yes.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00And he had a brilliant sense of timing.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Numerous examples of his timing.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Now, you know how important timing is in comedy and Max Miller had it.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10The voice, I think, is quite a challenge.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12He had a high-pitched voice.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13HIGH-PITCHED: I need to be up there.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15- That's it.- Up there. Right, OK.
0:28:15 > 0:28:23Now, one thing I can't do this without, obviously, is the costume.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27It's the suit!
0:28:27 > 0:28:31'I've always been fascinated by Max's gaudy suit.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35'It was so essential to his act that he even wore it when doing radio.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38'I'm hoping to get my hands on an original.'
0:28:38 > 0:28:42I was wondering if maybe I could borrow the suit.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44No.
0:28:44 > 0:28:45Oh.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48- OK.- But we've got one in particular that we think you'll like.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51That, for Max, is rather dull and drab.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54I've come across this one that is much more you, Frank.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56OK, and I can borrow this one?
0:28:56 > 0:28:58- Yes.- Yes.- That's fantastic. Can I take it?
0:28:58 > 0:29:00You don't want to let go of it, do you?
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- That's lovely.- All yours. And all the best of luck.- That's...
0:29:03 > 0:29:06Thank you so much. I shall wear it with pride.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11One of the guys from the Appreciation Society was just telling me
0:29:11 > 0:29:15that Max kept parrots, which I never knew.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18And suddenly, the whole thing falls into place.
0:29:18 > 0:29:24Because if you look at Max in profile, there is quite a beaky face.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27He wore these brightly coloured things like a parrot.
0:29:27 > 0:29:32And when he starts, when he comes on stage, he's like, "Eh, eh, eh!"
0:29:32 > 0:29:34I think this is what happened.
0:29:34 > 0:29:39I think Max based his act on parrots.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42So when I do Max Miller, that's what's going to be in my head.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43Think parrot.
0:29:45 > 0:29:46But before I can do that,
0:29:46 > 0:29:50let's return to our story of popular entertainment.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Something had arrived in our living rooms
0:29:52 > 0:29:55that would turn the world of variety upside down.
0:29:59 > 0:30:04By the mid-1950s, 4.5 million of us were tuning in to telly.
0:30:04 > 0:30:08And the arrival of commercial television in 1955 brought
0:30:08 > 0:30:11a new emphasis on entertainment.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14Variety was quickly adapted to the small screen
0:30:14 > 0:30:17and Sunday Night At The Palladium gave viewers a seat
0:30:17 > 0:30:21at the world-famous variety theatre from the comfort of their own home.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Why bother going out at all?
0:30:25 > 0:30:30# Do you know
0:30:30 > 0:30:34# What it's like
0:30:34 > 0:30:36# To be lonesome? #
0:30:36 > 0:30:40The grand variety theatres struggled to lure in the punters
0:30:40 > 0:30:43and were increasingly empty.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45# Do you know how it feels... #
0:30:45 > 0:30:47And it was no laughing matter.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51A notice backstage at the Regent in Rotherham warned acts that -
0:30:51 > 0:30:55"Jokes about the size of the audience will not be appreciated
0:30:55 > 0:30:56"in this theatre."
0:30:57 > 0:31:02In this era of economic boom, many ailing variety venues
0:31:02 > 0:31:07were demolished or converted to make way for shiny new developments.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16Some features remained places of mass entertainment.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Albeit of a different kind.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20# You can rock it You can roll it
0:31:20 > 0:31:22# You can slop and you can stroll it at the hop... #
0:31:22 > 0:31:26And as well as nightclubs, there was always that 1950s obsession.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31The term full house would never mean the same again.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33'Are the bingo sessions helping the theatre much?
0:31:33 > 0:31:35'Well, they're not at the moment'
0:31:35 > 0:31:37but we're hoping during the winter period,
0:31:37 > 0:31:38when audiences are low, that they will.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45Other variety theatres decided to try something new
0:31:45 > 0:31:47to lure in an audience.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50It was all about a more stripped down form of fun.
0:31:52 > 0:31:57Of course, nudity as live entertainment was nothing new.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01But in the 1950s, theatres nationwide enjoyed performances
0:32:01 > 0:32:06from the likes of Nudes Of The World and We've Got Nothing On Tonight.
0:32:06 > 0:32:07I think I saw that one.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Variety shows were a family affair.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Somewhere you could take your granny or your children.
0:32:15 > 0:32:19But nude reviews brought in a somewhat different clientele.
0:32:19 > 0:32:23Many people saw them as the final nail in the coffin
0:32:23 > 0:32:24of British variety.
0:32:24 > 0:32:28One venue though mixed nudity and comedy, and it became
0:32:28 > 0:32:33the unlikely training ground for some of Britain's best comedians.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35It was called The Windmill.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43I'm glad to hear someone was offering variety's comics a refuge.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46That's probably where I would have ended up.
0:32:46 > 0:32:47There are worse places, Frank.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54The Windmill was run by impresario Vivian Van Damm
0:32:54 > 0:32:57who had the interesting nickname of VD.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02It had been famous for its unmoving naked girls since the 1930s.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04By presenting nude tableaux,
0:33:04 > 0:33:07it avoided the Lord Chamberlain censorship policy of,
0:33:07 > 0:33:09"If it moves, it's rude."
0:33:09 > 0:33:14Today, it's a strip club and sadly devoid of comedians.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16But I've persuaded Barry Cryer to come to the pub
0:33:16 > 0:33:20opposite his former workplace to tell me how it all worked.
0:33:20 > 0:33:21There it is.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Dear old place after all these years.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28If you were a comic, you were in every show.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31You clocked in about 11 o'clock in the morning
0:33:31 > 0:33:34and got yourself ready and everything. Did the first show.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36And of course, they come to see the strippers.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40The wonderful thing about Vivian Van Damm was he loved comedians
0:33:40 > 0:33:43so he could indulge his love of comedians
0:33:43 > 0:33:46knowing the customers would come anyway.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48The roll of honour, you know, Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers
0:33:48 > 0:33:52and everything. Eric and Ernie apparently got the sack.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Bob Monkhouse failed his audition. You couldn't make it up.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57Was it a tough crowd to play to
0:33:57 > 0:34:00because essentially they weren't there to laugh?
0:34:00 > 0:34:03In a funny way, I suppose, looking back,
0:34:03 > 0:34:06you did get more relaxed about it because you thought, "They haven't
0:34:06 > 0:34:11"come to see me, so I'll just be laid back and enjoy doing my act."
0:34:11 > 0:34:14So, how many shows a day? Six shows a day?
0:34:14 > 0:34:1636 shows a week.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18You must have been exhausted.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20But then, I mean, it must have made you sharpen up the act
0:34:20 > 0:34:23- and get better and better so quickly.- Well, you'd hope so.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25But, as I said, you learn to die with dignity
0:34:25 > 0:34:27because particularly in the afternoon,
0:34:27 > 0:34:30in the long reaches of the afternoon, was a marvellous Geordie
0:34:30 > 0:34:33called Jimmy Edmondson who worked at The Windmill.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35And he came on one afternoon
0:34:35 > 0:34:38and a man in the front row just opened a newspaper.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40And Jimmy said, "I see you brought your own comic."
0:34:40 > 0:34:42THEY LAUGH
0:34:42 > 0:34:43What about the punters?
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Were they expected to have a certain level of behaviour?
0:34:46 > 0:34:49There was a notice - "Artificial aids to vision are not permitted."
0:34:49 > 0:34:52And in those days, there would be adverts
0:34:52 > 0:34:54and things on the back of a Sunday paper.
0:34:54 > 0:34:55And I remember this.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59There was some binocular glasses, miniature binoculars that you wore
0:34:59 > 0:35:03like glasses for when you went to horse racing and football and sport.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05And one guy thought,
0:35:05 > 0:35:08"Oh, that's perfect for The Windmill." And he was sitting
0:35:08 > 0:35:12wearing his binocular glasses and big Peter, the house manager,
0:35:12 > 0:35:15wonderful, appeared very discreetly.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18"Excuse me, sir, you're out." Got him by the collar
0:35:18 > 0:35:21and brought him right to the front door here and asked him to leave.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23And the guy was still wearing these.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25And he fell down the stairs and broke his leg.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29I don't know whether he went on to sue The Windmill for a broken leg.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30I doubt it. I doubt it.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39The Windmill was to continue as a successful training ground
0:35:39 > 0:35:44for comedians until its closure in 1964.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46But beyond liberal-thinking Soho,
0:35:46 > 0:35:49the benefits of nude reviews were less obvious.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53The family audience had been driven away by the dirty Mac brigade.
0:35:56 > 0:36:00It wasn't long before the variety theatres were looking to a new
0:36:00 > 0:36:04crowd for help. And a fresh musical craze that would bring them in.
0:36:04 > 0:36:09- I thought I said I was wearing the checked shirt today.- His and hers?
0:36:10 > 0:36:15# Now me and my wife went to town... #
0:36:15 > 0:36:19Skiffle arrived in the UK from America and by 1956,
0:36:19 > 0:36:21its fast-paced and exciting sound
0:36:21 > 0:36:24was bringing in a new audience to the theatres.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26Teenagers.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34But would this new crowd appreciate variety in the way
0:36:34 > 0:36:35their parents had done?
0:36:37 > 0:36:40The man who made skiffle popular here was actually
0:36:40 > 0:36:43a Glaswegian by the name of Lonnie Donegan.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46# Freight train, freight train goin' so fast
0:36:46 > 0:36:49# Freight train, freight train goin' so fast
0:36:49 > 0:36:51# Please don't tell what... #
0:36:51 > 0:36:53Lonnie's son Peter is keeping the tradition alive
0:36:53 > 0:36:57and plays with his dad's old touring band.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00Today, he's teamed up with original skiffle king Chas McDevitt
0:37:00 > 0:37:04and they've invited us to join them for a bit of a jam.
0:37:04 > 0:37:09# ..have gone. #
0:37:09 > 0:37:10SHE CHEERS
0:37:10 > 0:37:12- Brilliant!- Fantastic!
0:37:12 > 0:37:15So, I'm going to ask the big question. What is skiffle?
0:37:15 > 0:37:18It's a mixture of every kind of style of music.
0:37:18 > 0:37:24You've got country in the, folk, jazz, blues, all mixed into one.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27And it's one of those kind of things that it's also music
0:37:27 > 0:37:28that everybody can join in with.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32Anybody could pick up like a washboard, a guitar,
0:37:32 > 0:37:35so long as you learn two or three chords, you know,
0:37:35 > 0:37:38a tea-chest bass and you can just bend it into tune.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40And then you had yourself a skiffle band.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42And then just learn how to sing.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44How did you get into skiffle, Chas?
0:37:44 > 0:37:45I started with a jazz band.
0:37:45 > 0:37:50I was playing at school. I learnt banjo. Went with a local jazz band.
0:37:50 > 0:37:51When I moved to London,
0:37:51 > 0:37:53I joined the remnants of the Crane River Jazz Band.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56And I was on banjo and we started featuring the skiffle group
0:37:56 > 0:37:58in the interval. We were living in Chelsea
0:37:58 > 0:38:01and playing the coffee bars in Chelsea and eventually in Soho.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03What did it feel like when skiffle bands
0:38:03 > 0:38:07were on things like a variety bill? Cos it happens just at the moment
0:38:07 > 0:38:09where variety is slightly running out of puff.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12- Professional musicians hated us because we were...- Sacrilege.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13A lot of them were working for nothing.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16And not having the technique that the musicians had
0:38:16 > 0:38:19and taking all the work. So they really hated us.
0:38:19 > 0:38:23Did you play shows with ventriloquists and comedians
0:38:23 > 0:38:25and all that sort of stuff?
0:38:25 > 0:38:28To start with, yeah. People say that the youngsters killed variety.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31But we didn't. We gave it a new lease of life.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34If you put a skiffle group on top of the bill, as they did once in
0:38:34 > 0:38:38Glasgow for us, we were top of the bill and they had a skiffle contest.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41The whole week the theatre was full of kids.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44That was a new lease of life for a while, it didn't last too long.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47So if we were going to have a go at skiffle,
0:38:47 > 0:38:50what is our checklist of stuff to remember to really
0:38:50 > 0:38:53get into the spirit of doing skiffle properly?
0:38:53 > 0:38:55- A sense of rhythm is all you need. - Yeah.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57I mean, we'd like to try Rock Island Line.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00I think we are in the long tradition of skiffle
0:39:00 > 0:39:03in that we probably know two or three chords
0:39:03 > 0:39:04and that's about it.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08That's all you need. You're done. You're in.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11Rock Island Line was Peter's dad's smash hit,
0:39:11 > 0:39:15and the song that kick-started the skiffle craze in the UK.
0:39:15 > 0:39:16What better way to honour it?
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Three chords, three strings. It's a tin of ham, which suits you.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21You've got a Spam guitar!
0:39:21 > 0:39:24That's lovely. It's not actually Spam.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27It's what they call a spamish guitar. THEY LAUGH
0:39:30 > 0:39:32- I feel like I'm being serenaded. - LAUGHING: Yeah.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36You like to come back to my house for some processed meat?
0:39:38 > 0:39:40Now there's a chat up line.
0:39:40 > 0:39:41SHE RETCHES
0:39:41 > 0:39:44OK, Chas. I've brought my washboard. How do I play it?
0:39:44 > 0:39:48As it's such a delicate instrument in your hands,
0:39:48 > 0:39:51we can use a hair brush.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52A nice swishy sound.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54SCRATCHING
0:39:54 > 0:39:56And do you bash it as well?
0:39:56 > 0:39:58- METALLIC CLANKING - Whatever you like.
0:39:58 > 0:39:59As long as you've got rhythm.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02OK, I'll do my best. Come on, you two. Come on.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- So no tea chest? - No tea chest this time.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06- We're going to go with an upright bass.- OK.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09You've changed.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11# I got pig iron
0:40:11 > 0:40:13# I got all pig iron. #
0:40:13 > 0:40:17Just because I find that very therapeutic.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19# Rock Island Line She's a mighty good road
0:40:19 > 0:40:20# Rock Island Line, she's a... #
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Can I stop you, can I stop you there?
0:40:22 > 0:40:24- Is that the key your dad did it in? - Yes.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Your dad had quite a voice, if you don't mind me saying.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31I don't... LAUGHTER
0:40:31 > 0:40:34- That's the sort of thing... - Are you feeling the pressure?
0:40:34 > 0:40:37I'm feeling the pressure already.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39Give us your Johnny Cash voice.
0:40:39 > 0:40:43I can do as... Yeah, I can do it. That's an octave...
0:40:43 > 0:40:44That's what it...
0:40:44 > 0:40:48# Rock Island Line is a mighty good road
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# Rock Island Line is a road to ride
0:40:50 > 0:40:51# Rock Island Line
0:40:51 > 0:40:53# Is a mighty good road
0:40:53 > 0:40:54# Well, if you ride it,
0:40:54 > 0:40:56# You got to ride it like you find it
0:40:56 > 0:40:57# Get your ticket at the station
0:40:57 > 0:40:59# For the Rock Island Line... #
0:40:59 > 0:41:00There you go.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02# Oh, I may be right and I may be wrong
0:41:02 > 0:41:06# But you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:41:06 > 0:41:08- ALL:- # Rock Island Line She's a mighty good road
0:41:08 > 0:41:10# Rock Island Line She's a road to ride
0:41:10 > 0:41:12# Rock Island Line It's a mighty good road
0:41:12 > 0:41:15# Well, if you ride it You got to ride it like you find it
0:41:15 > 0:41:19# Get your ticket at the station for the Rock Island Line
0:41:19 > 0:41:21# A, B, C, W, X, Y and Z
0:41:21 > 0:41:24# Cats in the cupboard But you don't see me!
0:41:24 > 0:41:25FRANK LAUGHS
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- ALL:- # Rock Island Line She's a mighty good road
0:41:28 > 0:41:30# Rock Island Line She's a road to ride
0:41:30 > 0:41:32# Rock Island Line She's a mighty good road
0:41:32 > 0:41:34# Well, if you ride it You got to ride it like you find it
0:41:34 > 0:41:37# Get your ticket at the station for the Rock Island Line
0:41:37 > 0:41:39# Hey, it's on the...
0:41:39 > 0:41:47- ALL:- # Rock Island Line. #
0:41:50 > 0:41:51Woo!
0:41:51 > 0:41:53- There you go.- I love it!
0:41:53 > 0:41:56THEY ALL LAUGH I love it.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59JOHNNY CASH VOICE: I love it. Mmm. That sounds good.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01THEY LAUGH
0:42:01 > 0:42:04I am completely exhausted but exhilarated.
0:42:04 > 0:42:05Didn't you love that? It was amazing!
0:42:05 > 0:42:07It was. It was really amazing.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10It's interesting cos in the context of this show, I think
0:42:10 > 0:42:14it's tempting to see skiffle as the bad guy a bit.
0:42:14 > 0:42:18There was all this, you know, beautiful variety and quaint British
0:42:18 > 0:42:23entertainment and then skiffle came along from America and took over.
0:42:23 > 0:42:27But when you actually experience it first hand, you think,
0:42:27 > 0:42:30"Well, how could they possibly compete with that?"
0:42:30 > 0:42:33# One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock... #
0:42:33 > 0:42:36The skiffle craze was huge but short-lived.
0:42:36 > 0:42:41It soon gave way to rock and roll and its legions of screaming fans.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44And these fans weren't interested in sitting down quietly
0:42:44 > 0:42:46and watching novelty acts.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49As theatres put more bands on the bill,
0:42:49 > 0:42:51traditional variety acts were pushed out.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58SHE PLAYS DON'T SIT UNDER THE APPLE TREE
0:42:58 > 0:43:00Rowdy rock and roll was one thing
0:43:00 > 0:43:03but the Andrews Sisters act was a bit more polished.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06I've got a lot of practising to do
0:43:06 > 0:43:10and I'm starting to realise quite how much these girls had going on.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Their diction was amazing. They sang with incredible precision.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16They blended.
0:43:16 > 0:43:20They put the stress on the same notes, at exactly the same point.
0:43:20 > 0:43:21I've got to remember all that stuff.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24I've got to do a performance where I do a bit of movement,
0:43:24 > 0:43:27raise my eyebrow occasionally, bit of a cheeky smile.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29I've got to give it all that energy.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32I'm just surprised, the bit I thought would be difficult
0:43:32 > 0:43:35was learning the notes, learning three separate loads of notes,
0:43:35 > 0:43:38keeping them in my head. That bit has been the easiest bit.
0:43:38 > 0:43:43Actually turning it into a performance is...is really
0:43:43 > 0:43:46quite a bit harder than I expected.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Sounding good, Suzy.
0:44:01 > 0:44:03While you've been swatting up,
0:44:03 > 0:44:06I'm still on the trail of our entertainment story.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08With the theatres full of rock and roll acts,
0:44:08 > 0:44:11variety was looking for a new home.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15And one place it found was that very British institution,
0:44:15 > 0:44:17the working men's club.
0:44:17 > 0:44:24- ALL:- # If you were the only girl in the world
0:44:24 > 0:44:26# And I was... #
0:44:26 > 0:44:29I went to a working men's club once and the acts were
0:44:29 > 0:44:33introduced by the Entertainment Officer, not a performer.
0:44:33 > 0:44:38And not always totally in tune with what a performer
0:44:38 > 0:44:40needed by way of an introduction.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44So he came on and said, "We've got a fantastic woman coming on now.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47"Great singer. You're going to have a great sing-along."
0:44:47 > 0:44:52And he said, "I want you all to give her a really warm welcome.
0:44:52 > 0:44:57"And can I just say that we have very good toilet facilities here
0:44:57 > 0:45:00"and the people who think it's clever to nip out
0:45:00 > 0:45:05"and use the car park instead of going to the toilet, to save time,
0:45:05 > 0:45:07"we don't think it's clever and if we find out who you are,
0:45:07 > 0:45:08"you'll be banned.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10"Ladies and gentlemen, Zoe Springsteen."
0:45:12 > 0:45:14So...
0:45:14 > 0:45:17She started on the wrong foot, I thought.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25The 1950s was a boom time for working men's clubs.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28As working-class communities grew on out-of-town estates,
0:45:28 > 0:45:31the clubs grew with them. And after a long week at work
0:45:31 > 0:45:34everyone was desperate for some entertainment.
0:45:37 > 0:45:38I'm not a member.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41I know a bit about working men's clubs from my early career,
0:45:41 > 0:45:44but I've come to this North London club to find out what
0:45:44 > 0:45:46they were like in their heyday.
0:45:46 > 0:45:50- Ruth.- Frank. Lovely to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54- Do you come here often? - I do. As often as I can.- Oh, lovely.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58- Welcome to the Langdon Club. - Thank you very much. It's nice.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Who would book the acts that were on?
0:46:06 > 0:46:08The Entertainment Secretary, the Ent Sec.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10They would travel around a little bit,
0:46:10 > 0:46:14maybe go to what used to be called shop windows,
0:46:14 > 0:46:17where acts who wanted to get in on the club circuit
0:46:17 > 0:46:18would go and perform.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20The Ent Secs would go
0:46:20 > 0:46:23and book what they thought might go down well in their own clubs.
0:46:23 > 0:46:27What kind of a bill would I expect to see?
0:46:27 > 0:46:30A comedian, stand-up. You've always got to have a comedian.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33You might get a duo,
0:46:33 > 0:46:38often a husband and wife duo who might work in the local factory
0:46:38 > 0:46:42during the week but get all dressed up to the nines at weekends
0:46:42 > 0:46:43and strutted their stuff.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46And occasionally you might get a fire eater.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49- OK.- That was always quite exciting.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51LAUGHING: OK.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55- Just don't sit too near the stage. - No, indeed.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58I guess there was a lot of pressure on the Ent Sec
0:46:58 > 0:47:01because if the acts weren't good, presumably the members would
0:47:01 > 0:47:03turn to him and ask him why he'd booked them.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06They would, but they wouldn't need to in a way
0:47:06 > 0:47:09because they would just show whether they liked or disliked
0:47:09 > 0:47:12- an artiste right away. - I'm sure they would.
0:47:12 > 0:47:16Yeah, they would just carry on talking, drinking, making a lot
0:47:16 > 0:47:20of noise, saying, "When's the bingo starting?" and all sorts of things.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23And the Entertainment Secretary might flash the lights
0:47:23 > 0:47:24and say, "Order, order."
0:47:24 > 0:47:28- It was hard.- Yeah.- You had to really prove your worth in those clubs.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36Many of those who really proved their worth were stand-ups,
0:47:36 > 0:47:39particularly those with a talent for punchy one-liners
0:47:39 > 0:47:42that could grab the attention of a distracted crowd.
0:47:42 > 0:47:46Stars like Larry Grayson, Marti Caine,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49and Bernard Manning all got a start in the clubs.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56I'd like to reinvent the tradition of the shop window.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Because what I want to do, I want to make you the
0:47:59 > 0:48:03Entertainment Secretary and I'm going to be the comedian.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05And I'm going to try and reproduce what
0:48:05 > 0:48:10I would see as a sort of typical working men's club comedy act.
0:48:10 > 0:48:14- Mm-hmm.- I'm basing it on a guy called Colin Crompton.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17I'm going to let you decide whether I get booked or not.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Right, I'll do my best.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25I've often been told I look like Colin Crompton,
0:48:25 > 0:48:28which I've always found a bit disconcerting.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31Crompton was the club circuit comic who later came to
0:48:31 > 0:48:37fame in the 1970s on TV shows such as The Comedians and the fictional
0:48:37 > 0:48:40working men's club, The Wheeltappers And Shunters Social Club.
0:48:40 > 0:48:45Regarding the notice in the gents what says wet paint.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47This isn't an instruction.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50LAUGHTER
0:48:51 > 0:48:56One thing about Colin Crompton which the modern viewer might be
0:48:56 > 0:49:00confused by is that he had one of the most dynamic
0:49:00 > 0:49:03and elaborate comb-overs I've ever seen in my life.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06And I think, for the modern audience, if you look at him
0:49:06 > 0:49:10on YouTube or something, you assume that he's done it for comic effect.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13But that's because you weren't alive in the '70s
0:49:13 > 0:49:15when people actually thought this was fine.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS
0:49:22 > 0:49:25APPLAUSE
0:49:25 > 0:49:28There's a copper in a police station. He had a phone call.
0:49:28 > 0:49:35A guy said, "There's a horse dropped dead in Nebuchadnezzar Street."
0:49:35 > 0:49:39So he started filing out his report, the copper. And he said,
0:49:39 > 0:49:43"Right, Nebuchad... N-E-B-U-K... N-E-B-A-C-K... N-E-B..."
0:49:43 > 0:49:47He said to the sergeant, "How do you spell Nebuchadnezzar Street?"
0:49:47 > 0:49:49He said, "Use your initiative."
0:49:49 > 0:49:51So the copper went off.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Came back half an hour later...
0:49:54 > 0:49:57He was covered in dirt. All his tunic were ripped.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59He had blood on his hands.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01The sergeant said, "What happened to you?"
0:50:01 > 0:50:04He said, "I've been moving that horse to King Street."
0:50:04 > 0:50:06DRUMROLL LAUGHTER
0:50:06 > 0:50:11I went into town. There were a fella lying flat on his back in the gutter.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14I said, "You all right, mate?" He said, "Yes, I'm fine.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17"I found a parking space. I just sent the wife home to get the car."
0:50:17 > 0:50:20DRUMROLL LAUGHTER
0:50:20 > 0:50:2510% of all road accidents are caused by drunk drivers.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28Now that means that 90% of all road accidents
0:50:28 > 0:50:30are caused by sober drivers.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32They are the one they want to ban.
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Then we can drive home safely.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38DRUMROLL MILD APPLAUSE
0:50:38 > 0:50:42Thank you very much. You've been a lovely audience. Goodnight.
0:50:42 > 0:50:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:50:46 > 0:50:48I haven't felt like this for years.
0:50:48 > 0:50:51I feel like I've just done a really terrible gig and died horribly.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54- I know you were doing your best to help me.- I was, wasn't I?
0:50:54 > 0:50:56You were quite a tough crowd though for all that.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59- Yeah, well, you told me to be critical.- Mm.
0:50:59 > 0:51:00Go on, fire away.
0:51:00 > 0:51:04- Well, I think back in the day you might have got the job.- Mm.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06You might have got a booking
0:51:06 > 0:51:10because it was fairly clean, family-type fun.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14It's good to remember what it feels like to absolutely bomb.
0:51:14 > 0:51:15You didn't absolutely bomb, Frank.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18But you know what, Ruth, it's a great leveller.
0:51:20 > 0:51:24Wakey-wakey!
0:51:25 > 0:51:28Variety had found a new home.
0:51:28 > 0:51:33By 1961, three quarters of British households had a television set.
0:51:33 > 0:51:34Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Good evening and welcome to the show.
0:51:36 > 0:51:40And TV went to great lengths to capture the sparkle
0:51:40 > 0:51:42and buzz of a night out.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:51:47 > 0:51:50APPLAUSE
0:51:50 > 0:51:53From the stages of variety theatres...
0:51:54 > 0:51:56..to working men's clubs.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59# I am the music man
0:51:59 > 0:52:00# I come from down your way
0:52:00 > 0:52:02# What can I play?
0:52:02 > 0:52:04# What can I play? #
0:52:04 > 0:52:07So our golden era of entertainment had ended.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11But the greats of variety had left us a glittering legacy.
0:52:11 > 0:52:15And now we are en route to revive that era in our own way.
0:52:15 > 0:52:19I think what's particularly beautiful about the people that we've
0:52:19 > 0:52:23looked at in this series, the stars of popular entertainment,
0:52:23 > 0:52:25and I shouldn't be surprised at this
0:52:25 > 0:52:29but what I really loved was that they were so unashamedly popular.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32They loved being loved by the masses.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35I think now that's slightly frowned on.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38If you get more than ten million viewers, you must be a bit lowbrow.
0:52:38 > 0:52:42Nobody cared about that. They just wanted to be loved.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45They went up there and the more people that loved them, the better.
0:52:45 > 0:52:49And they didn't care about the sort of critical or intellectual analysis.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52They were the crisps and chocolate of the act.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55They just gave people what they wanted
0:52:55 > 0:52:57not what they thought might be good for them.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01What you realise is that these are people who created that
0:53:01 > 0:53:04template, literally created it, that cross-class,
0:53:04 > 0:53:06cross-generational entertainment.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09The thing that your granny and your kids could watch and enjoy
0:53:09 > 0:53:14and laugh at, whether it is the kind of end-of-the-pier show
0:53:14 > 0:53:17or a bit of naughty vaudeville or watching Strictly,
0:53:17 > 0:53:20all of that stuff just wouldn't exist without those people.
0:53:20 > 0:53:21And they were...
0:53:22 > 0:53:24..brilliant pioneers
0:53:24 > 0:53:27as well as being fantastically great performers.
0:53:27 > 0:53:28They just sort of had it all.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31They had charisma, they had balls, they had business nous,
0:53:31 > 0:53:34they were such go-getters.
0:53:39 > 0:53:43As our journey through 100 years of popular entertainment draws
0:53:43 > 0:53:45to a close, it's time to get into character
0:53:45 > 0:53:47and give it a proper send-off.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53He kept parrots, Max Miller. SHE GIGGLES
0:53:53 > 0:53:56And I think they had quite an influence on him.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Cos he wears the most outrageously garish costume
0:53:58 > 0:54:02and he sort of cackles. So when he comes on, he goes,
0:54:02 > 0:54:03"I'm here." HIGH-PITCHED CACKLE
0:54:03 > 0:54:08And I think if you think parrot, I think that is the place to take it.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Sort of randy parrot.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13You do randy parrots, I'll do chintzy apple trees.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16Surely Randy Parrot is an American singer-songwriter.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28- May you inhabit the spirit of Max. - I'm trying to get there.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31I'm really looking forward to it.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34Fish and chips, bra straps, rock.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS APPLAUSE
0:54:37 > 0:54:39Oy, oy, I'm here.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41HE CACKLES
0:54:42 > 0:54:44What if I am?
0:54:45 > 0:54:47I had two girls come to visit me backstage tonight.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50And as they left the theatre, I heard one of them say,
0:54:50 > 0:54:51"Doesn't he dress nice?"
0:54:51 > 0:54:53And the other one said, "Yes, and so quickly."
0:54:53 > 0:54:56LAUGHTER W-w-whoa-whoa-whoa when I'm talking.
0:54:56 > 0:54:59It's rude to interfere. It's like married life.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02But aren't I nice? I'm not drawn in,
0:55:02 > 0:55:04I'm all muscle. I'm not drawn in.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Don't they ride up this weather? LAUGHTER
0:55:07 > 0:55:13I'm going to sing a song. A song called A Fan Dancer Minus Her Fan.
0:55:13 > 0:55:17Now, I haven't finished it yet. I've got the beginning. I've got the end.
0:55:17 > 0:55:20But what I'm after is that middle bit.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22LAUGHTER That's what I want.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24- Shall I start it off, Paul? - You start it off, Max.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27I'll start it off and then you will creep in, won't you, you'll creep in?
0:55:27 > 0:55:30- I'll creep in, Max. - I'll give you the key.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32No, well, he might get home before me, you see.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36LAUGHTER MUSIC STARTS
0:55:36 > 0:55:39# I started courting a smashing fan dancer
0:55:39 > 0:55:43# To marry her, that was my plan
0:55:43 > 0:55:46# Now it's all off with the smashing fan dancer
0:55:46 > 0:55:49# She fell down and damaged her fan. #
0:55:49 > 0:55:52Ee-ee. I said it wasn't finished.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55The middle bit, that's what I'm after.
0:55:55 > 0:55:56Oh, that middle bit.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59Now, here's the end part. Do you like the end part, lady?
0:55:59 > 0:56:01You haven't heard it yet.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03LAUGHTER
0:56:03 > 0:56:06# At last that poor girl She's gone home to her mother
0:56:06 > 0:56:09# Tell her fan is mended or she... #
0:56:09 > 0:56:11LAUGHTER Oy! Oy! Oy!
0:56:11 > 0:56:15You know, it's people like you get me a bad name.
0:56:15 > 0:56:17Right, I'll leave you with a little recitation.
0:56:19 > 0:56:20Roses are red
0:56:20 > 0:56:21Violets are blue
0:56:21 > 0:56:24I know, I've seen them on the clothesline. Goodnight.
0:56:24 > 0:56:27APPLAUSE JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:56:34 > 0:56:37Max Miller bitterly resented American acts coming over.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39SHE LAUGHS
0:56:39 > 0:56:41But from me personally, good luck.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43Oh, thanks(!) Whatever, parochial island boy.
0:56:43 > 0:56:45- I'm doing it for the Americans. - Yeah, yeah.
0:56:45 > 0:56:50BAND PLAYS INTRO
0:56:50 > 0:56:55# I wrote my mother
0:56:55 > 0:56:59# I wrote my father
0:57:00 > 0:57:06# And now I'm writing you too
0:57:10 > 0:57:15# I'm sure of Mother
0:57:15 > 0:57:20# I'm sure of Father
0:57:20 > 0:57:23# And now I want to be sure
0:57:23 > 0:57:28# Very, very sure of you
0:57:28 > 0:57:32- ALL:- # Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
0:57:32 > 0:57:37# Anyone else but me Anyone else but me
0:57:37 > 0:57:42# No, no, no, don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
0:57:42 > 0:57:47# Till I come marching home
0:57:47 > 0:57:50# I just got word from a guy who heard
0:57:50 > 0:57:52# From the guy next door to me
0:57:52 > 0:57:55# That a girl he met just loves to pet
0:57:55 > 0:57:57# And it fits you to a T
0:57:57 > 0:58:02# So don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me
0:58:02 > 0:58:07# Till I come marching home. #
0:58:11 > 0:58:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:58:18 > 0:58:22JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:58:25 > 0:58:27Oh, lovely.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30Of course, the other two sisters are waiting for me in my dressing room.
0:58:30 > 0:58:33Ugh. Time to let go of Max Miller know, Frank.