0:00:02 > 0:00:05Contains some strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08The peace and tranquillity of rural Wales
0:00:08 > 0:00:11offers a chance to get away from it all.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15To live the good life far from the stresses of the modern world.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27For most, it remains a pipe dream,
0:00:27 > 0:00:31but this young city couple are determined to make it a reality.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35I'm going to do something different with the rest of my life.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Whoo-hoo!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Look at that.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40Ah! Oh, my gosh!
0:00:40 > 0:00:44They want to set up a smallholding in Wales...
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Got my first chicken.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48..and live off-grid...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Whoa.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52..grow their own food...
0:00:52 > 0:00:53Iceberg lettuce, girl.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh, easy tiger.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57..and keep their own animals...
0:00:57 > 0:01:00I never thought it would feel like that.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01..but, with hardly any money...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04We are brass pocket.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05Like nada.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08..and even less know-how...
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Why is it so hard?
0:01:10 > 0:01:12..will their green dreams survive...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14It can be done.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16..rural real life?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I'm selling. Sold!
0:01:18 > 0:01:21We'll figure it out, and that's where I'm at right now,
0:01:21 > 0:01:23is - I'm figuring it out.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Just outside Cardiff, in Barry, Wales,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Abz Love and Vicky Fallon's lives couldn't be further away
0:01:39 > 0:01:41from the rough and ready life of a farmer.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Good girl.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47They and their five dogs
0:01:47 > 0:01:52inhabit a world of sleek white granite and all mod cons.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Stop it.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55That's it, nice and civilized.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Like we spoke about.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58No, no. Come on.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Abz and his fiancee, Vicky, are musicians.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04What is that? Who gave you a biscuit?
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Writing and recording songs together is the world they know.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Abz produced all of the music and I wrote and sang the song.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13# I'm-a let you be the bad boy... #
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Tell me this ain't Britney Spears!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Vicky is that beacon. It sounds really cheesy
0:02:19 > 0:02:22but I always say it, but she's that... In the darkness, man,
0:02:22 > 0:02:23she was my light that come along.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27She's like my Sharon Osbourne, do you know what I'm saying?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31If ever we was going to release a duet, this is kind of that.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32- Sonny and Cher.- It's kind of that.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35It's along them lines. It's quite fresh, it's quite modern.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37The world's ready for another Sonny and Cher...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- And Vicky blessed it with... - ..only without the violence.
0:02:42 > 0:02:48For Abz and Vicky, the rock and roll of city life has lost its lustre.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I just want to get going. I'm just getting impatient now.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Abz wants to give it all up and start a whole new life.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Just I'm tired of all the plastic and all the shopping.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00That's what I mean by off-grid and getting away from everything.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02I want to go against all of that and just exist.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Oh, man. I love the wilderness. I love the outback.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I love just the...
0:03:08 > 0:03:11You've just got space. You've just space, man.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Like, that compared to being on a train in the middle of London.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Don't give it all guru.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Abz's dream is to buy a smallholding in the country.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Vicky agrees but wants to keep their feet on the ground.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24You need to learn to listen
0:03:24 > 0:03:27because country life is real and it's hard and, you know, it's rough.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29People can get hurt.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- No, see...- No.- You're putting out that juju. We don't need that juju.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I don't think like that so it don't happen.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36There is more accidents in the country.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- You've got machinery. You've got animals.- Listen...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Dirty, muddy, slippy, rocky, danger. Danger!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Listen, I've had issues with the Hoover in the house
0:03:45 > 0:03:47that have been very dangerous, like.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49How has a Hoover been dangerous to you?!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51The hosepipe around your leg, you trip on it,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54it doesn't come round the corner when you pull it.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56But what I'm trying to make the point is - I'm not dangerous.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58It just kind of finds me.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Abz and Vicky have agreed that, dangerous or not,
0:04:09 > 0:04:13they'd like to start their new simpler life in rural Wales.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16This is Llandeilo, babe.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19It's like Notting Hill. It's got the coloured houses. Yeah.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Welsh Notting Hill.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Cla-cli-cle-ka Hill.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Although Abz and Vicky like the idea of being self-sufficient,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36they're not sure what that's going to look like,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38so they're heading to North Pembrokeshire
0:04:38 > 0:04:41to meet a pioneering community living off-grid
0:04:41 > 0:04:43who may be able to fill in the picture.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50They're visiting an eco-village of nine smallholdings
0:04:50 > 0:04:52called the Lammas project.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Lammas in the building.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Lammas.- Here we are.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Lammas was established in 2009 after new laws
0:05:02 > 0:05:05allowed green development in the Welsh countryside.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Here everybody lives off-grid.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21They grow their own food,
0:05:21 > 0:05:24generate their own power
0:05:24 > 0:05:28and even build their own distinctive eco-friendly homes.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31If Abz and Vicky want a green dream on a budget,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34then Lammas might offer some answers.
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Like this. Look at this.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- I think that's Simon in the brown. - OK.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Simon Dale is one of the UK's best-known eco-builders.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45How're you doing? I'm Vicky. Nice to meet you.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49He built his first hobbit house in 2003 for £3,000.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Thanks for giving us the time, man. This is amazing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Since then, he has transformed his hillside of seven acres
0:05:56 > 0:05:58into a prototype for green living.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04His planting scheme is a model for what Vicky and Abz could achieve.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Have a little walk around and see what we're doing now.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- See what we've done in the past few years.- That would be great, man.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11The magic happens, man.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Coming to places like this, I know I'll leave so inspired.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16What sort of stuff are you growing there?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18It's a perennial cabbage. Just keeps on growing,
0:06:18 > 0:06:20keeps on growing, so you don't have to re-plant it.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Did you say it was a predatorial cabbage?- Perennial.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28I was thinking, "Boy! Stay away from the cabbages at Lammas, man."
0:06:28 > 0:06:30These are phacelia, which are green manures.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33You can eat it. You have to not eat loads and loads
0:06:33 > 0:06:35because there's some stuff in it
0:06:35 > 0:06:37which is a bit bad for you.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41- Good for you or bad for you? - Good-bad for you or bad-good for you?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43What are we saying? Are we saying like good-bad?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Like it's good but it's bad,
0:06:44 > 0:06:46but you can't say that it's good because it's bad,
0:06:46 > 0:06:51or are we saying like good-good where it's like the good shit
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- or are we saying like...- Both.- He's confused!- It's both! All right.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Sweet.- Please, the poor man!- My bad.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I'm impressed with this grass mound. I'm not going to lie.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- What is that?- It's just a pile of turf.- It's so healthy.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- That's just turf and it's all grown on it.- I want one of them.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10- Look at these! Darling. Is that rhubarb?- Oh, they're amazing.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- It's rainbow chard.- Chard, yeah. - Rainbow chard.- Whoa.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- It's got beautiful stems.- Whoa.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20- So sick, man. I love it. It's so cool.- It's wicked, isn't it?
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Everything just feels happy here.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Birds are like just constantly singing a nice like theme.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28They're, like, orchestrated just for this moment, it feels like,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30you know what I'm saying?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33It's stunning, man.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Little bit jealous. Little bit jealous.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38You're bringing out my envious part. I want to live here, too.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42This is really cool. It's so cool, man. So cool.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45There's a real sense of community here, man. It's positive.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48It is harmonious. It's like when you get your fish tank set up just right
0:07:48 > 0:07:50and you've got the PH levels just right
0:07:50 > 0:07:52and you've got the blue lights and everything's happy.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55All the fish are happy, the ripples, everything's nice.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I mean, that's not a good example because my fish died.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Not like your tank.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Like many residents at Lammas,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Simon is used to helping out people with green ambitions
0:08:03 > 0:08:06but no idea where to start.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09I'd love a workshop. You just need the tools, you need the stuff.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11It's knowing what they are, though.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15That's not an apple de-corer, is it?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18See. I put that in a apple and take out the centre of a apple.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Do you think what we're getting into, Simon, is quite challenging?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- Do you think we're nuts? - Do you think we're nuts?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I think you're as sane as anybody.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29I've got massive respect for your readiness to dive into your dreams,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32you know, because what is life for?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I feel like people are just slightly off course a little bit.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37What are they going to do when they ain't got no electric?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40And you can't get Fifa to play and your kids are going crazy
0:08:40 > 0:08:42and they need food and, like, Tesco's is shut down
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- and there's zombies all in the street?- All right, calm down.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Simon's got a shed full of like... Look at the size of that.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You could decapitate three zombies with one of them.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Then go and get an apple. Do you know what I'm saying?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Everyone's happy, yeah. The coast is clear.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57- Yeah!- Wicked.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Tao Wimbush is one of the founding fathers of Lammas,
0:09:07 > 0:09:12where the needs of the community are largely met by their own efforts.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14However, just like the rest of us,
0:09:14 > 0:09:17they still need some money to get by on,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21so Tao and his wife Hoppi farm ducks, geese and cows.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Hoppi also runs a skincare business, a cut flower trade
0:09:27 > 0:09:30and operates the smallest registered dairy in the UK.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34If there is money to be made from a smallholding,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36they're the people to talk to.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- I'm Vicky.- Good to meet you, and... - Abz. What was your name?- Hoppi.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Hoppi. Pleasure, darling. This place is magic.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- Do you want to do this?- Yeah. - It's magic. Yeah.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Permaculture, have you heard about permaculture?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It's like a map of nature and it's about caring for yourselves,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53caring for the land and taking your fair share
0:09:53 > 0:09:55in harmony with the earth, yeah?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59So it's a really very well thought-out principled way
0:09:59 > 0:10:02of looking at your water, looking at your energy,
0:10:02 > 0:10:03looking at your plants, everything.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05What is it that you actually want from the land?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Like, what's the relationship that you want to create?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10I'd like to plant like fruit galore.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I don't know whether I'll need a polytunnel.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15What ones I can grow just naturally out and just...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I want to... Like, butterflies. I want an aviary.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I want to just go wild with it.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21You need to know what height your land is
0:10:21 > 0:10:24and you need to like think about if you're going to have livestock,
0:10:24 > 0:10:27how you're going to fence it so that it doesn't eat your trees.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Yep.- It's like a lot. It is a lot.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Like the idea's there
0:10:31 > 0:10:34and I can see myself like in my caravan and I'm happy and stuff,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37but there's a lot of effort and energy and tears, blood and sweat
0:10:37 > 0:10:40that have to go into this. There really is.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I think like it will hit me when we get there.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45It is very much city boy but I know what there is to...
0:10:45 > 0:10:50I know what I've got to take on and I'm prepared and I can't wait.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55They've got a fabulous attitude to pulling it off.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56They've got a lot to learn.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59There's a lot of delicious dreaming and kind of,
0:10:59 > 0:11:02"Oh, yeah, this is going to be so lovely,"
0:11:02 > 0:11:04and the reality?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Well, we'll see.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I'm going to check out the toilet at Lammas.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Apparently, it's something I need to see.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Smell the mint as you walk on it.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Oh, my God!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20I like it!
0:11:20 > 0:11:23So, like, when you're running low on mint, you can come to the toilet.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24It's ingenious.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28Lammas, that's probably as close to the good life, in my eyes,
0:11:28 > 0:11:30as you're going to get.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32But even the good life costs money.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Back in 2009, each family paid £40,000
0:11:38 > 0:11:40to buy their plot of land at Lammas.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Thanks so much, Hoppi. Much appreciated, darling.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Bye-bye, lovelies.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Abz and Vicky need to get their finances straight
0:11:49 > 0:11:52if they're going to make their move to the country,
0:11:52 > 0:11:54and money is a problem.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Abz went bankrupt years ago and we've spent the last six years
0:11:58 > 0:12:03gradually building ourselves up but we're by no way millionaires.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04# Dance how you wanna dance
0:12:04 > 0:12:07# Let's all get down while we got the chance... #
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Back in 1997, Abz found fame with boy band Five.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12# Line after line
0:12:12 > 0:12:14# I flow like rhyme after rhyme... #
0:12:14 > 0:12:19The band broke up four years later, but reformed in 2012.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- We're on our way to Butlins. - Yes, we are.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Bognor, for a Five show.
0:12:25 > 0:12:30Make some noise for Five!
0:12:30 > 0:12:34These days, Abz is on the road with a Five reunion tour.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44OK, I'm getting changed in my luxurious changing room.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I've got a three-seat to get ready on if I want to stretch out
0:12:47 > 0:12:50and I've got a pillow. As you can see, it gets cosy.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- Hey!- Sorry!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Changing rooms can get, like, interrupted sometimes
0:12:54 > 0:12:57and I don't appreciate it, to be honest with you.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Just saying, it's my quarters.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Knock! Yo, you gotta knock!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03HE RAPS
0:13:05 > 0:13:10I just find it really tedious now. I haven't got the buzz anymore.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I step on stage and where's the buzz?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Where did the buzz go?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Come on, Bognor Regis!
0:13:20 > 0:13:21ABZ SHOUTS
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Buzz or no buzz, these shows have been a godsend.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28The money that came with success has long gone.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Out! Good boys.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Their luxury house is just rented accommodation,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36but Abz's reunion tours have been paying the bills
0:13:36 > 0:13:39and they've managed to save a small deposit.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43We was looking for any place. I was looking at pieces of...
0:13:43 > 0:13:47plots of land for 20 grand and 5 grand and whatever I could get.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Look, I've found these two places for you.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Vicky's roped in her sister Gemma to help them.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Lammas was a bit of a reality check
0:13:55 > 0:13:58and they've realised that they've got to match their big ambition
0:13:58 > 0:14:01to their limited know-how and even smaller budget.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05The first one is completely derelict.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- That hasn't even got a door.- No.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08How d'you get in?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Despite Abz's rock-and-roll credit history,
0:14:11 > 0:14:15they're optimistic they can raise a mortgage of £150,000,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18but it's not going to get them much.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- It's a Welsh... - Wait, but that's not...
0:14:21 > 0:14:22You can't move in and live in there, can you?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- No, you have to have a caravan. - What's it called?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Let's get the first four letters out the way first.
0:14:28 > 0:14:34- C-M-W-C... Scanorg...- Canooukya...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Wa-a-awa...- Cng...
0:14:36 > 0:14:41That is literally just bricks. I'm spending 150 grand on bricks.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Is there another one?
0:14:42 > 0:14:45The next option that we have here is...
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- This is more realistic, I believe. - I like that one.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- This is a three-bed. - Fucking name again.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Look at the price of that. That's the same price.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56It's all structurally sound.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59It's got electricity, it's got its own water-drainage supply
0:14:59 > 0:15:01but, inside, it needs fully modernising.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04And it's got this outbuilding which you can develop.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05I like that.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10I can see myself just running butt naked on that land, happy.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Where's this address?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13This one is called...
0:15:13 > 0:15:14How do you say that?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Bontne... HE MUMBLES
0:15:16 > 0:15:18C...Ceridigion?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20FRENCH ACCENT Savadision.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- It's not French! - That's how you say Savadision.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25"Where do you live?" "Savadision."
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Oh, the south of France?
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Er, no, its actually in Bontenewyd Finonowin.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33You can't say it in a French accent, that's just weird.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35I like that one. Let's go and look at that one.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Across Wales, dozens of smallholdings
0:15:45 > 0:15:48come on the market every month,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51but very few of them fall into Abz and Vicky's price range of
0:15:51 > 0:15:53under £150,000.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Araf, honey, araf!
0:16:00 > 0:16:01What?
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Slow your arse down, that means. - OK.- In Welsh.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07You don't realise how fast you're going on all these little roads.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Everyone else does.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Eyes open.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Focus.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I'm excited about this place, guys.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Looks like a bomb's hit it.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Wow.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Look at the house, man, that's falling to bits.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36That is hardcore! Are you sure we're at the right place?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Yeah, that's it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39Could do with a bit of paint.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Ffynnonwen in County Ceredigion in mid Wales is being sold by
0:16:50 > 0:16:53a farming family who've lived here for generations.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Hey-hey! Whoo!
0:17:01 > 0:17:02We're in!
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Yeah, that is cool.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09It's nicer on the inside than it is on the outside.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15There's no mood lighting, innit.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22I like it. I like it more now I'm inside it, to be honest.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24It's proper rough.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28This is what it's got to - with him considering a place like this!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32But that's where we're at.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35We're so desperate, we just want a home.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Man, you need a lot of work.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Like most Welsh farms, Fynnonwen is surrounded by rough grazing land.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Look! There's sheep poo, man.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49It's not good.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- I like it.- I like it.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Listen, see all this, babe? - I just...
0:17:59 > 0:18:01See this whole section here?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03You could get planning for that, no bother,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06turn that into, like, erm, more of a modern wing
0:18:06 > 0:18:09and you could put a glass roof on the south facing side.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10And what about the sheep?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12What do you mean? Whose are they?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Will the dogs...? Will the dogs chase them?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16The dogs will be fenced in.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- You got to be careful of sheep worrying.- Sheep what?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20- Worrying? - Sheep worrying?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Sheep worrying, innit? - Something like that.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Sheep worrying. - Yeah! What?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26It's like scaring sheep.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Do you not know what sheep worrying is?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- What, from the dogs, you mean?- Yeah.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- What, the dogs will worry the sheep...- Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- ..and it's called sheep worrying? - Yeah.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40We'll just have to fence things in properly. It'll be fine.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45I like it cos it's somewhere. D'you know what I'm saying?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48I'd be happy on this land here. I'd be happy all day long.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50What's going on over here?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53On these hills, heavy rain and poor soil...
0:18:53 > 0:18:55What is that growing? What is that?
0:18:55 > 0:18:58..create the perfect conditions for bog.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03Why is it not grass? What is this? What is this round stuff?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06What is that? Whoa!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Narrow area. Ah-agh! Oh, man, that's messy.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I love the quietness.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14I know, that's beautiful.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I like the land more than the house.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I like it.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21It could work. It could work.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26It needs some TLC, doesn't it?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28TLC? Fucking hell.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31This needs some Grand Designs shit!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33How d'you cut this grass?
0:19:43 > 0:19:46We called the solicitors, called the brokers and stuff,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48and put an offer in straight away.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51So it is all go on this house!
0:19:51 > 0:19:54It was somewhere, it was cheap.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Abz and Vicky's offer of the full asking price for the property
0:20:01 > 0:20:03and three acres was accepted.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07But this was their entire budget,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10so now there's nothing left to pay for essential building work
0:20:10 > 0:20:12to renovate the farm.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17We never worry about money, which is probably why we've been bankrupt.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Easy go, easy come.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23We, we kinda just trust that everything will work out.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26And with no choice but to do the restoration work themselves,
0:20:26 > 0:20:29they need to find a way to live on-site.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31So they're looking for a caravan.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Definitely not that one cos I think that one needs too much work.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40What is that? I don't know what that is.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Wow.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46A bit like a spaceship, I quite like it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Welcome, welcome.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Cassette deck.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I don't even own a cassette anymore!
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Oh, dear God. What's this like?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Shut up. Is that a toilet?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Yeah, it's a toilet. Can you close the door?
0:20:59 > 0:21:00See what it's like in here?
0:21:02 > 0:21:03It's terrifying in here!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09What's in there?
0:21:09 > 0:21:10A can of Strongbow.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Oh, my God.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16- I like that.- You can't go cruising down the motorway burning shit
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- out of, like, a wood burner.- No.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21What's this? Is this the bed?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Yeah, don't sit on it.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- Oh, shit. - So can I pin notes to that?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Fabulous, I'm lovin' that!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30ABZ LAUGHS
0:21:32 > 0:21:36That's the highlight, that's got to be the highlight of my day.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39So he's taken a pipe,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41and he's threaded it through a bit of wood
0:21:41 > 0:21:44so you've got that "at home" feel.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46You know, like, that you turn this thing.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48You know, that shape, er,
0:21:48 > 0:21:50getting water out of it might be a problem.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Where's the tap? Where's the screw?
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I'm guessing you have to suck to get some kind of flow going,
0:21:55 > 0:21:57- like, you know when you get petrol out of a car?- What?!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I do like a project!
0:21:59 > 0:22:02So a caravan looks like an affordable option to live in
0:22:02 > 0:22:05whilst they renovate the farm.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09And Abz is inspired by other money-making possibilities.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12What about putting a swimming pool on the top of a bus?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Like a hot tub. We can drive round Wales and say,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17"I notice you haven't got access to a hot tub on your land.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19"Would you like to spend half an hour
0:22:19 > 0:22:21"in a therapeutic Himalayan salt bath?"
0:22:21 > 0:22:24WELSH ACCENT "That sounds lovely, innit!"
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Unworried by the mortgage company dragging its feet,
0:22:30 > 0:22:33and undaunted by the derelict state of the property...
0:22:34 > 0:22:38..and not put off by knowing even less about building
0:22:38 > 0:22:40than they do about farming,
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Abz wants to acquire some livestock.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47You know what I'd really like? I'd like some chickens.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Maybe a couple of sheep. I like a little cow.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- I saw a little cow, you can get them.- Yeah?
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- And I'd like some pigs.- OK.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56Little pigs.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I don't want a big pig, just a little pig.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00What's that? It's a little pig, hey!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02But they're not canapes!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08They want to get their dogs used to livestock
0:23:08 > 0:23:11but they need something they can keep in a suburban home.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Every week farmers converge at auctions like this one in
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Ffairfach, Carmarthenshire,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32to buy animals and farm machinery.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34£6, £6, I'm bid.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37At 7! 7 for 8, 7, 7 for 8, 7 for 8, 7.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39At £7 latest bid.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42At £7, £7 all the way. At £7...
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I might buy some cable ties.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53At 7 for 8, 7, folks. £8.10, 10 for a bid,
0:23:53 > 0:23:5510, 11, £11, 12, £12.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Ready to go, then, £8, £8, £8 for the Christmas turkeys...
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Today's auction is rather special.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Whilst most trade sheep and cattle,
0:24:05 > 0:24:08this one is a sale of rare-breed poultry.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10£11, on we go.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Look at these ducks!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Oh, he's gorgeous!- I know.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Oh, we've got to have him.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- No, but he'll get eaten. - We've got to have these two.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Let's look...- Love it, quickly. - Don't worry about them.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Let's quickly make some decisions. I...
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Whoa, look at him!
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Chickens are a great way to start the process of
0:24:28 > 0:24:30becoming self-sufficient.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34In prime condition, a hen can produce over 300 eggs a year,
0:24:34 > 0:24:37but Abz and Vicky have other priorities.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38I think we need to get big chickens
0:24:38 > 0:24:41that can defend themselves against dogs.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43I think it's him!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I'd like to call him Elvis.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48That's typical.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- Elvis in his rhinestone cat suit! Look at him!- Lionel Richie!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54SHE SINGS # All night long! #
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Yeah, I think I want him. Let's get him.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59A pullet is a young bird.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04Auctioneer John Davies is an expert on the poultry on sale today.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Now, you've got more ornamental birds here.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09You're not going to have any sort of commercial venture
0:25:09 > 0:25:11out of the eggs you're going to get out of those birds.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Right, I'm thinking, like, one or two of them.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Those will produce eggs, you'll get an egg a day.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17That's a lot of omelettes, man!
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Imagine what we could do with an egg a day?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- We'll just be throwing them around. - You can sell 'em!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- Rock star eggs.- Absolutely.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Paint them black, put a little gold star on 'em.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30That's it, fiver to go, then...
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Despite the appeal of the revenue stream promised by rock star eggs,
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Abz and Vicky are sticking with their plan to buy a cockerel...
0:25:38 > 0:25:41the non-egg laying male of the species.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45£4, £1 was there, 5, are they coming to that? £4...!
0:25:45 > 0:25:46I can't understand him.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49One lovely cockerel, boys, he's lonely in the pen there, boys!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52He's a pretty cockerel! Let's say couple of pound for him.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Couple of pound, £2, £2, £2, £2, 2!
0:25:54 > 0:26:003, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
0:26:00 > 0:26:04£8, £8, £8, £8, 9, 10.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07At 10, here's the bid. At £10, £10, 10, sell, then.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Beautiful cockerel at £10.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- Yeah!- Bargain!
0:26:12 > 0:26:13Officially...
0:26:14 > 0:26:16..£10.60.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- That's my deeds for my chicken. - Oh, nice!
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Would you like to check that they're all in order?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29He's probably thinking, "Who the hell are these people?"
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Got my first chicken, met the locals.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38A few disapproving looks, I felt.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41But that's to be expected. I'm on their territory.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- Let's get out of here. - Let's do it.- Let's go.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51COCKEREL CROWS
0:26:52 > 0:26:55We kept the chicken that we bought at auction inside
0:26:55 > 0:26:58because we were living in a built-up area
0:26:58 > 0:27:00and you don't need no cocka-doodle-doo
0:27:00 > 0:27:02at six in the morning.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05COCKEREL CROWS
0:27:05 > 0:27:06There you are.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08DOGS BARK AND COCKEREL CLUCKS
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- There you are, a little mountain for you.- Not on the fruit.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15I smell chicken!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17I smell...chicken!
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Oh, yeah, he'll like croissant! There we go! Yeah!
0:27:21 > 0:27:23He's a French chicken.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Good boy. Oh!
0:27:25 > 0:27:27COCKEREL CLUCKS
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Fernando is a friend, OK?
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- He's family, not food, OK? - Chickens are friends, not food.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41How hard can it be? Really?
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Next time...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47This would be the kitchen.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Put the kettle on!
0:27:48 > 0:27:49It can be done.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52I look at this and I see potential.
0:27:52 > 0:27:53Sweet.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Innit so small?
0:27:57 > 0:27:59..they're on a steep learning curve...
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Man, these matches don't work. Nothing's catching fire.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Yeah, give it a go.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Whoa! Jesus! Lord have mercy!
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Get off, get off.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- That's crazy. - You're a natural, man.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17..and there's a reality check in store.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19What's going on in this field?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21- Don't know.- Oh, no.
0:28:21 > 0:28:22Oh, my gosh, that's messy.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- You've got to make some serious choices, guys.- Yeah.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Reality bites, don't it?
0:28:28 > 0:28:31They're going to have to change their thinking quite radically.