Stuck in the Mud Country Strife: Abz on the Farm

The peace and tranquillity of rural Wales

offers a chance to get away from it all.

To live the good life, far from the stresses of the modern world.

For most it remains a pipe dream,

but this young city couple are determined to make it a reality.

I'm going to do something different with the rest of my life.

Look at that!

Oh, my gosh!

They want to set up a smallholding in Wales.

Got my first chicken!

And live off-grid.

Grow their own food.

Iceberg lettuce, Gio! Ooooh, easy, tiger!

And keep their own animals.

I never thought it would feel like that.

But with hardly any money...

We are brass pocket, like nada.

..and even less know-how...

Why is it so hard?

..will their green dreams survive...

It can be done!

..rural real life?

I'm selling. Sold.

We'll figure it out. And that's where I'm at, right now.

I'm figuring it out.

Abz Love and Vicky Fallon have left the city life behind them.

In. Now, in.

In the '90s, Abz was a rapper in a successful boy band.

14 years old, that is.

What are you going to do with it now?

I'm just going to use it to prop the door open.

But he's given it all up for a new life in the country.

High five! Yeah!

They've bought a smallholding in a remote valley,

deep in the heart of Carmarthenshire, surrounded by farms and forests.

They've just over three acres of land, including a field, a pond,

woods, a greenhouse and a polytunnel.

Their plan is to grow their own food and live a self-sufficient life.

Within a month, they've added two horses

and three chickens, along with their five dogs.

What do you know about that?

But there are problems standing between them and their green dream.

For starters, like many first-time farmers,

they've put all their money into buying their land,

and now they are broke.

-How much money have you got?

-We are minus money at the moment.

We took out credit cards. I've got an overdraft now, woohoo!

We got a washing machine and tumble dryer on eBay.

We've been charity shopping for everything because it's so cheap.

Everything. I went into the local town,

and right at the very front of like all of these discs,

just in the corner at the very front it, was my CD.

We often see his albums in the bargain bin in the charity shop.

Get a 5ive album in the charity shop! 50p, man!

-I don't even bother pointing them out.

-That was a little sign for me, man, you've arrived.

You're in the right place.

I'm in the right place. I didn't buy anything though, it was too expensive.

They've arrived - but after years of city living,

they've none of the money or practical skills

to start renovating their plot,

buying animals, or cultivating their land.

But having got this far, Abz is determined to figure it out.

I didn't come this far to get scared. Right?

We'll figure it out

and that's where I'm at right now, I'm figuring it out!

I don't know what I'm doing.

The Welsh winter brings other problems.

They should call it the cold life.

The damp wet life. Why? Why so much all the time?

-Why is it so wet?

-It just doesn't stop.

It don't stop raining, it doesn't let up.

Carmarthenshire is one of the wettest parts of the UK -

lying in the path of the westerly winds sweeping off the Atlantic,

that means it rains here even in the dry months.

Having lived it - it's tough.

It is tough. It's been probably the coldest time,

the hardest time to move in, the wettest time to move in.

It doesn't stop raining!

-I don't remember it being this bad...

-It wasn't.

..when we first came to look at it.

And the rain could spell the end of their smallholding dream

before they've even got started.

It's taking off your sock, it's taking off your shoe clean.

Their land is at the bottom of a valley.

Run-off from the surrounding hills has turned it into a bog.

And now their two horses have churned it up into a sea of mud.

Despite being advised to let them go,

Abz and Vicky are determined to hold onto their beloved horses,

Molly and Valentine.

Him coming home was a good moment for me.

To let him out on the land. The land that I promised he'd have.

It's a bit more boggier than I promised him but he's a happy boy.

Oh no. I'm properly sinking.

Why would you do that?

At the moment the land is not even fit for grazing,

let alone growing crops on.

There's land that's like marshy but that's beyond marshy,

like, worse than marshy land.

It's properly, like, it's not good.

I don't know if drainage is going to fix it.

It has to, otherwise we've got to move!

Right, Rodge, we need help. Yep.

Vicky and Abz call in local drainage contractor Roger Moore.

-Say it's doable.

-It's doable.

The plan is I'll put in a main drain all the way up there

and two spurs off of it, and off of this side,

-and another main herringbone...

-Herringbone?

Like a fish bone to catch all the water hopefully everywhere.

-Clever.

-Just to dry it all up for you.

-It's like quicksand. Look at that!

-I know!

-It's not fun,

you can't throw a ball and play with your dog in that.

See ya soon.

Draining the land is doable, but not cheap.

So Abz and Vicky make a start on the rest of the plot

with some practical - and free - advice,

from local gardener, Lyn Jones.

How did you manage to find a place like this?

You're out in the country.

I honestly don't know. We feel like we've hit the jackpot.

You haven't escaped like any train robberies, have you?

Hey, hey, hey, that's for another time!

Abz and Vicky are enthusiastic but novice gardeners.

-Lucky I brought my wellies.

-You're going to need them.

After years on the celebrity music circuit,

they've none of the knowhow that most smallholders have.

We've got a few boxes over here. Raised beds, they are.

If I were you, I'd put in as many raised beds

because it's so wet, you see?

Would you put beds here?

Yes, beds anywhere, as long as you can get rid of them trees.

-Oh.

-You've got to have sun, the sunshine all the time.

You've got to have heat.

Here in the bottom of the valley,

where the waterlogged soil doesn't get much sun,

raised beds will improve drainage and increase the soil temperature.

Sand is good to keep the slugs away.

You get sand from the seaside and put it on top.

-There's salt in it.

-Yeah, it's earth further down.

-That's clever.

-They don't like the sand.

-What can I grow in here, Lyn?

-Cabbages.

-Right. Anything else?

-Just cabbages?

If you get cabbages, put net curtains over them,

because the butterflies can't get at them then.

Alongside cabbages in the raised beds,

Abz and Vicky will be able to grow a wide variety

of vegetables and herbs.

And in their polytunnel, they can plant all year around.

Oh dear, dear! What have they got here?

Weeds! Try and get them out as quick as possible.

-What, these?

-All these seeds would grow again.

And they're dandelions.

You've got to dig very deep.

Put your foot on it.

Down again. Down again. Right down.

Right there, that's the depth.

You never did anything like this in London, did you?

Definitely not.

Once weeded, they'll be able plant their first crops,

like cauliflower, leeks, parsnips and beans.

Lyn shows them how.

One finger, push 'em down the length of your finger.

Push 'em down like that.

-Why is it so wet in here then?

-I dunno.

-Do we need drainage?

-Yes.

So we've got to buck our ideas up, basically.

-Yeah, real quick.

-Yes, as soon as possible.

And there's more than weeds that need clearing out of the polytunnel.

What polytunnel would be complete

without a freezer full of polystyrene?

Right, come on. One, two, three.

I've got the heavy side. Right, follow me.

You'll have to drain as much as you can of the garden.

-Whoa!

-Whoa, easy!

I'm not built for this kind of labour.

They'll have to find muscles.

They'll be stronger when they finish.

Why don't they dent when you kick them?

I'll be over to see.

I'll make sure they're working all right.

It is tough. Surviving is tough, man.

It is pretty gruelling if you don't know how to.

Like, really, man, where do you start?

Do I eat that?

I was so scared to touch anything or eat anything.

Hey, I'm sure that's cabbage.

A lot of people are nice in their homes with their electric heating,

and everything is good, but pull them out of there

and they would fall to pieces, some people.

Some iceberg lettuce, Gio! Look, Gio. Iceberg lettuce. Mmmm!

Man, I should work at Burger King - chopping skills like that.

Help from the neighbours will go a long way.

Mucho cha-cha! Mucho cha-cha!

But fixing the problems with their drainage

will take some cold hard cash.

We sold Abz's watch. What else have we sold?

I'm keeping my chain tucked in because I don't want that to go.

-D'you know what I'm saying?

-We sold his Louis Vuitton luggage.

My Louis Vuitton cases have gone.

-You've had them for 10 years, haven't you?

-Sold my diamond stud, my earring,

my Rolex watch you might have seen on a previous episode! Nada! Look at that, nada!

-There is nothing there.

-He tells the time by the sun now.

And the car may be getting the chop.

Their luxury car is taking a pounding

on the rough tracks around their home,

and tying up some much-needed cash.

This can be sold and we can buy something cheaper

and free up a little bit of money.

There's one, there's a Defender here.

Pull over here, let's have a little look.

Hi, how are you doing, buddy? Just seen this. We've seen a few of them

and they're pretty hard to get hold of, aren't they?

-They're pretty sought after round here.

-Defenders!

These are pretty functional, it's all aluminium.

You can chuck a sheep in the back and pressure-wash it out.

They're very basic inside. It's got a heater.

There's no radio. Where's the radio at?

This is basically a tractor, isn't it?

Yeah, they're very hardy and they're easy to repair.

-So what do you reckon, Duncan?

-Nice machine.

There's a possibility you might sell it round here

because there's quite a large horse community.

It's a change we need to make but it's hard to do it.

-Of the top your head, what do you reckon we'd be able to get for it?

-I'll have to check my books but...

-Enough for a Defender?

-Oh, yeah.

Swap with a little bit of petrol on top

and couple glasses of champagne to drown our sorrows!

Giving up luxuries is a price worth paying if Abz and Vicky

are to get their smallholding plans back on track.

So by flogging almost everything they've got,

they've raised enough cash to give Roger the go-ahead

to start the drainage work.

It will take months for the field to recover, but if it works,

they should have a summer meadow for grazing and planting crops.

-What have we got here?

-Dumper.

-Finally! Please God, let this work!

-Oh, man.

At the moment, the heavy clay

is stopping the rain soaking away into the hillside.

Look at that, man! It's like his second arm!

Roger's plan is to dig a network of ditches

to drain away to a large trench at the bottom of the valley.

Let me have a go.

It's a job for the professionals - but Abz can't resist giving it a go.

You push that red lever down and you're away.

-Turn it, that's it.

-Whoa!

Hey, I like it, I like it. Honey, we need to get one of these.

It's like a bucking bronco but a country version.

Yee-hah!

Rodge, it's not happening, Rodge. The steering is stuck!

Yeah! I think I'll leave that to you, Rodge.

Leaving the field to the experts,

Abz and Vicky finish clearing out their polytunnel.

Lyn ain't got weeding skills like that. I take the whole thing out.

Farmer at work, man, watch yourself.

I think that's raspberries as well.

Wait, I do want raspberries!

Shall we replant them? Ah, it's dead as a doornail.

-It is now!

-Oh, that's nice.

Honey, I gave up all them bright lights and riches

for...for a compost heap.

Although spring is still a few weeks away,

with the polytunnel weeded, Abz can't wait to get started.

I'm going to go and plant some seeds right now, I think. Now!

Let's go and plant some seeds right now!

What is it, literally one seed?

-You just cover it over, right?

-I don't know. Yeah?

The first seeds sown, thoughts turn to their spring planting.

We need to plan, maybe a little book.

I think we should plant avocados and lemons.

-Tree stuff. Pineapple tree?

-Cucumbers?

Yeah, enough cucumbers.

Meanwhile, Roger and his team

are battling with the atrocious conditions.

A lot of manpower, getting stuck a lot, pulling each other out,

it's a bit of a mud bath at the minute.

This kind of mud is a challenge - even for Roger's men.

It's not just mud that's creating problems

in the bottom of the valley,

so is the internet - or rather the lack of it.

The web is a good place to pick up a bargain.

OK, 3G, we've got 3G, don't move, stop, stop, stop.

Stop. Here's good.

They just need to find it.

Why am I not getting it yet?

I'm still not getting anything, darling.

Jeez, imagine if it was really important.

Congratulations, you're connected.

Abz wants somewhere for friends and family to stay

when they come to help.

-400. I'll put in 450.

-Yeah, if you want it.

Flower power miles per hour.

And he has the winning bid.

Hey, caravan! Wow, it's pretty spacious.

Two beds over that end.

-Down here?

-Yeah.

-Where? What?!

Come on now! Check it out! It's getting better by the minute!

What else can it do?

-Thank you, brother!

-Nice one, man.

-Much appreciated.

Yeah, nice, nice, nice, keep it coming. Watch the roof.

Watch the roof.

Honey, the electric cable!

Hold up, stop, Cliff.

Please God, don't drop no lightning on me right now.

Hey, we might be able to get TV, TV reception.

Yeah, lovely, looking great. Spot on, dude.

Hey, that's it.

Yeah, that's the one I was going to go for.

It is a much-needed part of our journey right now.

We could turn it into a recording studio.

I can see me rocking up. HE HUMS A BEAT

-SHE LAUGHS

-What is that, a ukulele?

I'm playing the ukulele now(!)

And at last, Roger is winning the battle with the mud.

-How's it going, Roger?

-Its good, so far so good.

-It's looking amazing.

-It's changed a bit, hasn't it?

Yeah, superb, it's starting to flow again already.

Yeah, the water's starting to run a bit.

Although it looks like a mud bath, this is real progress.

We're getting through it. It's coming, so far so good.

Roger has buried a network of pipes.

They'll drain the surface water away and over the next few months,

the boggy soil will be replaced by grass.

Perfect for horses and livestock.

Six months, I think they should have some lush grass on it, hopefully.

With a bit of luck - if we've done our job right.

Abz and Vicky's smallholding

sits in the middle of a 12,000 acre forest.

Although they're connected to mains electricity,

their heating, hot water and cooking

are all provided by their wood-burning stove.

Get a nice air flow going.

With careful stewarding, Abz and Vicky's woodland

could provide them with fuel all year round.

Place to be if you're looking for wood, ain't it, Tone?

Oh, this place is, yes.

Local Woodsman Tony Eames introduces Abz to some other ways

the forest can help him lead a self-sufficient life.

After you, please, show me. Look at this, it's amazing.

As you're coming through here, you can clearly see on the hill

on the back there, you've got mostly conifer growing.

Two-thirds of the forest is planted

with varieties like spruce and fir

that have adapted well to the damp, wet conditions.

In front on this side of the ravine, you've got what is known as British hardwoods.

-British hardwoods?

-Yes. Or common name is broadleaf.

When you start looking at the shape of the branches,

the buds on the ends, any of the dead leaves you see on the trees, you can pick out different species.

This is what I need to hear. I need to know this stuff.

What is this?

Either known as rowan or mountain ash.

Later in the year, you'll end up with masses of reddy-orange berries on it.

-You can eat?

-You can actually make cordial, you can make rowan wine as well.

I like rowan wine, I like the sound of that.

Over the back here, we've got some sweet chestnut trees.

The wood is also good for shingles, roofing tiles,

-tool handles - it's very strong.

-I love that.

If we can get some wood, we can make an axe handle then.

All right, let's do it.

So where do we start?

First you've got to split a slice out of that piece of tree.

That goes in there, and then hit it with a mallet.

OK.

-Whoa!

-And then just lever...

-Just what? Lever?

-Lever it on the handle, to split that piece of wood in half.

-Wow. That's perfectly in half as well.

-We go through the centre again.

There we go.

I've got to get me one of these bad boys.

-Where do you want it, Tony? Here?

-Yeah, that's fine.

-So what, you sit on it?

-Sit on this end.

-Yeah, I know that. I know that.

-No, other way round.

-Yeah, I know that, I know.

-Other way around!

Yeah, I bet you could play that better than I can.

HE DRUMS A STEADY BEAT

-Well done.

-Yeah, I think so.

Then we take what we call a draw knife.

Sharp as hell, I take it?

Yeah, it is very sharp.

Jeez! Bit close to the main arteries in neck and veins, isn't it?

To shape the piece of wood.

It's quite safe because you can't actually cut yourself.

-Well, you say that.

-Lock it in.

Ah, that ain't too bad, that ain't too hard at all.

It's sort of like the rowing machine in the gym.

I'm getting there.

Here's one already partly made out of sweet chestnut.

-Look at that. You properly Blue Peter-ed me then, didn't you?

-There's your axe head.

So we're actually going to fit your axe head on to the axe handle.

The oak peg goes in a slot on top of the handle.

No glue, no nothing?

No glue, no nothing. And then that axe head is stuck on.

Holy shit, that's crazy.

He has done a certain amount of wood working before,

making bits of furniture and stuff

from wood he's found in the forests.

But certainly the new skills he's got today, he can go on further

and produce more and more and better things, and hopefully at some point

have furniture in his own house he's made himself.

-Yeah.

-Certainly living in the woods where they are,

there are enough species in this forest that basically

they could make anything they ever needed while they were living here.

Go on there you go. You go that way. Go that way.

Abz and Vicky have a rooster called Fernando, and two hens.

-Come back, come back!

-It normally doesn't take this long.

-Come on, chick chick!

He's like Usain Bolt. We should have called him Usain!

Chickens can't see in the dark, and are at risk from predators like foxes.

Fernando, we do this every night.

So at night they roost in the chicken coop.

There you go.

But two chickens won't keep Fernando happy for long.

Night, girls.

He needs a bigger brood of at least five or six hens.

So Abz has built a bigger coop.

I'm just adding the finishing touches to my chicken hutch

which I built because we decided to get some more chickens.

Having chickens is probably the basic foundation

of getting self-sufficient,

because it's giving you something of sustenance.

They're collecting some chickens from a neighbour, Lucy Medill,

who finds new homes for commercially reared poultry.

A large delivery has just come in and local smallholders

and families have arrived to pick up the birds.

The box fell. The lady just asked for a quick hand

so I'm guarding the chickens making sure none of them escape.

Oh, shit, here we go again. Save the day again.

It's farm dramas.

Instead of some smelly man with his armpit in your face on the tube,

it's like, a lady with escaped chickens and a man with a stuck car.

Yep. Farm drama, man.

Abz and Vicky have already reserved four hens to add to their brood.

I've already spied my first one, she's on the water bowl.

-I see her.

-Yeah? This one.

-I wanna take them all.

-They've all got homes today so...

Good, that makes me feel better. C'mon, girls.

Cup of tea, cup and a piece of cake?

Yeah. Pop these in the car and we'll come over.

That would be great.

-They're beautiful.

-I love that fireplace.

12 years ago, Lucy and her husband Luke also made the decision

to move to Wales, to a simpler life in the country.

Hello. Luke.

-Pleasure.

-Lovely to meet you, I'm Vicky.

We absolutely love it, it's the best place in the world.

You can't not. The views out there!

Except on a day like today!

The rain? Nah, still, I embrace the rain as well.

So how long have you been here?

-Four months.

-That's why you embrace the rain!

-I give you a couple of years.

-A very good point.

We have literally just turned away from all the mod cons.

-We've got no WiFi.

-Don't have internet.

No TV, we've got nothing.

Do you find it a real refreshing change,

a pleasant change, not having internet?

The first month was hard, it was like I was coming off a drug.

We go up a mountain to get service.

I park up. Get my laptop out, stick the aerial on top of the car.

We've been there, done that, yeah!

I open Google when we get service, and I don't know what to type.

If I do type something it's like, how to sow seeds

and when I should sow them.

Since moving to the area, Luke has built up a business,

entertaining the locals.

What do you do, Luke? Do you mind me asking?

-No, I'm a magician.

-Insane! No way!

-A little lighter for you.

-Nice Clipper.

Could you just light it for me?

Check him.

Cool!

A few tricks of my own, Luke, you know.

Now what we'll do is just try and burn that...

And that's you, you see.

What happened there?! No way!

-Do that again!

-Are they all egg-based?

-All egg-based? Yes, all my magic's egg-based(!) No! I've got...

-It's great, I like it!

The hens arrive back at the fledgling smallholding.

Home sweet home.

They must be so baffled.

They'll be kept separate from the other chickens until their feathers have grown back.

Good girl. In you go.

-Good night, girls.

-Sleep tight.

Across the valley, as spring approaches,

there are some other new arrivals.

Neighbouring sheep farmer Geraint Thomas

has had five lambs born already today.

Look at these little guys.

-Yeah, these were born this morning.

-Ah, twins!

It's a busy time and helping hands are welcome.

Keep the lamb as down as you can,

so that she can always see the lambs.

These new families need moving into separate pens.

-You say "meeeeh".

-Meeeeh!

Come on, little fella.

There we go.

Put number one on these. These are the first of the season.

That's good.

You both go in now.

-You want us to go in?

-I'm not going in!

-Why not?

-I'm afraid of her!

Hey, man, come on now!

Some ewes give birth to triplets

but can only provide enough milk for two.

The surplus lambs have to be bottle fed.

Surplus lambs are the worst part of the lambing job

because you're busy lambing

and then you have to go and feed these lambs all the time,

six or seven times a day.

How many times a day?

Six, seven times, when they're young.

The surplus lambs offer an opportunity.

Would you consider letting us raise them or have them?

-We should talk about this first, no?

-You know you want one.

Abz and Vicky's offer to help look after the extra lambs

is welcomed by Geraint.

You'll be making me a favour as well, to be honest.

It works both ways.

Geraint will have less night feeds to do

and Abz and Vicky will get their first livestock.

Come on, Fan. Fan! Fan! Come on, girl!

They came at the worst time, really.

The autumn had gone and the winter was starting to set in

and we've have had a lot of rain and frost.

-What do I do?

-You come up here, Abz.

That's good. That's good.

Give another month and the spring will come

and things will be looking up then.

I think they'll settle in here good now.

Come on. Lagging behind a bit now.

I think this is the most fun day I've ever had.

Every single day I wake up and I look out

and I just see a wall of trees and colour

and I just think, "We get to live here every day!"

I can't believe it!

That's kind of my idea of what it's going to look like.

Mr and Mrs Farmer surveying their land.

The dogs are going nuts. Woof, woof!

A few more chickens, maybe a sheep, and that's solar panels,

so we'll move to the solar panels side of things.

For me to get it as harmonious as this... Probably a good year.

I wouldn't change it for the world, man. You can keep your fancy houses.

I'm happy here, our own supply of water, stack of wood.

What more do you need?

Summer time, come on.

Bring me some sunshine.