0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41You know, I always used to call her my dark fairy,
0:00:41 > 0:00:45because that's what she symbolised to me.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48It were always my thing,
0:00:48 > 0:00:51that that would be our symbol, would be the black rose.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54That's what I saw her as.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00I don't think people realise just what effect it has on you,
0:01:00 > 0:01:04how it changes your whole life, actually.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08You know, I look at things now and it's "before" and "after."
0:01:09 > 0:01:12It was a horrible thing.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Not only do they take your daughter,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18they take your life with them as well.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I was slow to get born
0:01:25 > 0:01:26November's child
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Wanted nothing more than to laze
0:01:31 > 0:01:33In the sling of my mother's womb
0:01:34 > 0:01:37To loaf and lounge
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Where it was slow
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Where it was warm.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44So I sat tight
0:01:44 > 0:01:46In a curled ball
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Cocooned in love
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Gloved
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Adored
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Hazy colours and watery sounds
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Came drifting through
0:01:58 > 0:02:01At odds from the start
0:02:01 > 0:02:03I was sideways on
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Unengaged
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Lying in wait
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Till my mother's birthday came about
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Then I roused and turned
0:02:10 > 0:02:12And shouldered out
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Into the day
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Out of the dark.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20She was a good baby, really.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Although very mischievous.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25She would, you know, climb out of her cot,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29she'd open the reins on her pram, climb out of her pram,
0:02:29 > 0:02:33but even at that age, she had quite a strong personality.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38I remember once watching her with Adam, her brother,
0:02:38 > 0:02:41who is 18 months older than her, and his friend,
0:02:41 > 0:02:45and they were trying to get a wooden telephone off her.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48They were a lot bigger than her, obviously,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50but she didn't give it to them, you know?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53She were proper tugging at it
0:02:53 > 0:02:56and, um, yeah, she were a good baby, really.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01November's child
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Is watchful
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Calm
0:03:05 > 0:03:07The twilight month
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Month of the short afternoons
0:03:10 > 0:03:12The low sun
0:03:12 > 0:03:14And the vampire moon
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Were those Gothic days
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Where I got it all from?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I kept mum
0:03:19 > 0:03:20I bit my tongue
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Why use ten words instead of one
0:03:22 > 0:03:24When you can use none?
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Why speak at all
0:03:25 > 0:03:27When everyone else is babbling
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Gabbling, rabbiting on?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Sophie did sit back and watch the world
0:03:33 > 0:03:35and she continued with that,
0:03:35 > 0:03:39you know, all through...all through her life, really,
0:03:39 > 0:03:41and you would watch her
0:03:41 > 0:03:45and she'd be watching people in a group and then...
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I used to think she was watching to see
0:03:50 > 0:03:53if she could be comfortable with people.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56That's how I always interpreted it.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Whether it's about being comfortable,
0:03:58 > 0:04:02whether it's about being frightened of new experiences,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04um, I'm not sure.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08To be sometimes remote
0:04:08 > 0:04:11To be sometimes withdrawn
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Was it such a crime
0:04:13 > 0:04:15To be growing up at my own pace
0:04:15 > 0:04:17In my own way
0:04:17 > 0:04:19In my own sweet time?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21They were saying then I had
0:04:21 > 0:04:23What they called an enquiring mind
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Learning quickly to empathise
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Standing there by mother's side
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Hearing the language of human rights
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Hearing the rants
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Of her leftie friends
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Bolsheviks and Trotskyites.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I left school at 15 and I'd no qualifications
0:04:38 > 0:04:41and working in, you know, local factories, really.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46And I woke up one day and I thought, "I can't stand it any longer."
0:04:46 > 0:04:50And after I'd done my A levels, I went to Manchester Uni,
0:04:50 > 0:04:53so she was always surrounded,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55at that early age,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59by feminist, leftie, shall we say, people.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I applied for a volunteer post for the Youth Service,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06so I used to work in a local youth club
0:05:06 > 0:05:09and Sophie would come with me very often.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14So, she was always brought up with an understanding, I think,
0:05:14 > 0:05:17of the issues surrounding difference
0:05:17 > 0:05:22and the different types of people and experiences.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26So I ditched the comfort
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Of pillows and sheets
0:05:27 > 0:05:29And slept one night
0:05:29 > 0:05:31In a cardboard box
0:05:31 > 0:05:33In sympathy with the down-and-out
0:05:33 > 0:05:36And bedded down in a linen drawer
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Because sometimes you need
0:05:38 > 0:05:40A place to hide
0:05:40 > 0:05:42A hidey-hole
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Somewhere to crawl.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52Sophie, um, was a vegetarian from an early age.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56We used to go to Bury Market every Saturday and, um,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I don't know whether you know Bury Market
0:05:59 > 0:06:01but there's actually a meat market,
0:06:01 > 0:06:05and our Sophie would make songs up
0:06:05 > 0:06:08and sing them at the top of her voice, every week,
0:06:08 > 0:06:11about how she hated this meat market and how it stank
0:06:11 > 0:06:15and how it was wrong that they did this to the animals.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17And she just didn't care.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19And, actually, when I think about it,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21you know she had a different diet
0:06:21 > 0:06:23from the rest of us in our house, actually.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25She would eat a lot of salad and...
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Well, as you can tell from my weight, I like chips and cake.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Because that's one thing about our Soph,
0:06:31 > 0:06:33my God, was she strong-willed?
0:06:33 > 0:06:37You couldn't get her to do anything that she didn't want to do.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41VERY strong views, VERY strong personality.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I didn't do sport
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I didn't do meat
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Don't ask me to wear that dress
0:06:50 > 0:06:51I shan't
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Why ask me to toe the line?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54I can't
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I was slight or small
0:06:56 > 0:06:58But nobody's fool
0:06:58 > 0:06:59No Barbie doll
0:06:59 > 0:07:01No girlie girl
0:07:01 > 0:07:03I was lean and sharp
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Not an ounce of fat
0:07:05 > 0:07:07On my thoughts or my limbs.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12And she'd got beautiful, beautiful waist-length hair.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15And she was always very proud of her hair.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17And, you know, she had such...
0:07:17 > 0:07:19She had really bad eyesight, bless,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21so she always had really thick glasses on
0:07:21 > 0:07:25and I think that had, um, an effect on her.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28And I always wanted, if I've got to be honest,
0:07:28 > 0:07:32a girlie girl, and our Sophie certainly were never that.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I'm just trying to...
0:07:36 > 0:07:39to think about when Sophie started to become quite Gothy.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42She'd probably be about 11 or 12.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46She went to stay with her best mate, Suzanne,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50and they stayed friends right up until, um, Sophie died.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53And she'd been up to Suzanne's,
0:07:53 > 0:07:56and I remember her, vividly, walking in
0:07:56 > 0:07:58and she'd got a dog collar on.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00One on her wrist.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05I remember looking at her and smiling and thinking,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07"Oh, here we go."
0:08:07 > 0:08:09You know, I was really happy for that
0:08:09 > 0:08:13because she needed that channel for her individuality to come out
0:08:13 > 0:08:16and to show people who she was.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23In my difficult teens
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I WAS strange
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I WAS odd
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Aren't we all?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32There was something different
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Down at the core
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Boybands, Pop-Tarts left me cold
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Let's say that I marched
0:08:41 > 0:08:43To the beat of a different drum
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Sang another tune
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Wandered at will
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Through the market stalls
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Humming protest songs
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I wore studded dog leads on me wrists
0:08:51 > 0:08:53And was pleased as punch
0:08:53 > 0:08:55In the pit at the gig
0:08:55 > 0:08:57To be singled out
0:08:57 > 0:08:59By a shooting star of saliva
0:08:59 > 0:09:02From Marilyn Manson's lips.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ECHOES
0:09:06 > 0:09:08But for all that stuff
0:09:08 > 0:09:10In many ways
0:09:10 > 0:09:12An old-fashioned soul
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Quite at home in my own front room
0:09:14 > 0:09:16On my own settee
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I read, I wrote
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I painted, I drew
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Where it came from no-one knew
0:09:23 > 0:09:25But it flowed
0:09:25 > 0:09:28It flew.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30She was like an old soul.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32And, you know, you talk to people
0:09:32 > 0:09:34after...after she'd died,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36and all the rest of it,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40and people would talk to me about her kindness.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43She was always very kind, very caring towards people.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46But the wisdom about issues...
0:09:46 > 0:09:51She was always into green issues, she was quite political.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Her vegetarianism.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Sophie did have a lot of empathy for other people.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02I was always, I've got to be honest,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04when Sophie was...
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Well, when we were getting ready for her to go to secondary school,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10I was always really concerned for her,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13because of Sophie's eccentricities, shall we say?
0:10:15 > 0:10:18And, you know, I remember writing this letter saying,
0:10:18 > 0:10:20you know, "She walks to her own beat
0:10:20 > 0:10:24"and we want that to be looked after
0:10:24 > 0:10:26"and brought out of her and nurtured..."
0:10:26 > 0:10:28That's the word - we wanted her to be nurtured.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30She settled in.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32She was fine, to be honest,
0:10:32 > 0:10:34because the one thing about our Sophie,
0:10:34 > 0:10:35which was always a bit odd,
0:10:35 > 0:10:38she actually liked the structure of things
0:10:38 > 0:10:42and she liked being at school because she liked the learning.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45She found, thankfully,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48the more alternative young people within the school
0:10:48 > 0:10:51and that seemed to settle her
0:10:51 > 0:10:55and she was quite happy then to be who she was.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59And it was nice to see her belonging to a group,
0:10:59 > 0:11:02rather than being that outsider.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I met a boy
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Robert
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Rob
0:11:12 > 0:11:15He was one of me
0:11:15 > 0:11:17I was one of him
0:11:17 > 0:11:20We were one and the same
0:11:21 > 0:11:22I went towards him
0:11:22 > 0:11:24And kissed his face
0:11:24 > 0:11:26He was skin and bone
0:11:26 > 0:11:29He was six foot tall
0:11:29 > 0:11:31He was ghostly pale
0:11:31 > 0:11:33He was poetry, art
0:11:33 > 0:11:35He was quirky, cool
0:11:35 > 0:11:38He was backcombed and pierced
0:11:38 > 0:11:40He WAS perfectly weird
0:11:42 > 0:11:44We walked through Manchester
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Hand in hand
0:11:45 > 0:11:47We were both in league
0:11:47 > 0:11:48With the colour black
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Not knowing exactly who we were
0:11:50 > 0:11:53But both agreed on what we were not
0:11:54 > 0:11:56We were joined at the hip
0:11:56 > 0:11:58We were all black T-shirts
0:11:58 > 0:12:00And snow-white flesh
0:12:00 > 0:12:02We were silhouette
0:12:02 > 0:12:04I slashed my jeans
0:12:04 > 0:12:07And unpicked my seams
0:12:07 > 0:12:08And smeared my lips
0:12:08 > 0:12:10And ripped my fishnets
0:12:10 > 0:12:12In honour of him
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Sat at the mirror for hours on end
0:12:14 > 0:12:16With banshee make-up
0:12:16 > 0:12:17And hurricane hair
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Till I looked like
0:12:19 > 0:12:20I'd fallen out of a tree
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Till I looked like
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I'd clambered out of the grave
0:12:25 > 0:12:27It was love
0:12:27 > 0:12:28It was life.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I remember my first sight of Rob.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35He had black hair, obviously,
0:12:35 > 0:12:37and backcombed, so it were really wild,
0:12:37 > 0:12:42and he had a brown mac on and some yellow plastic shoes
0:12:42 > 0:12:45and, you know, his facial piercings,
0:12:45 > 0:12:50and our Sophie was quite distinctive, too, in her dress.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52She obviously wore a lot of black,
0:12:52 > 0:12:55but she would very often sort of cut her clothes up
0:12:55 > 0:12:58so they were always quite raggedy, really, and, you know,
0:12:58 > 0:13:00I would never say anything to her,
0:13:00 > 0:13:03ever, about her appearance because...
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Well, actually, I was always quite proud of her
0:13:05 > 0:13:07and I thought she looked lovely.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09She was quite distinctive.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13You would notice her if you saw her in the street.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16But it was more than that with her,
0:13:16 > 0:13:18it was more than the clothes,
0:13:18 > 0:13:20it was more than the music.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I think what happened was, as she was growing up, you know,
0:13:25 > 0:13:27she was a vegetarian,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30she was a pacifist.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32A child who was quite internal.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37The clothes aspect of it and the make-up and the hair
0:13:37 > 0:13:40just showed what she was as a person.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44What people don't understand is that that is actually the truth.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48It's not just, oh, somebody chooses to dress differently,
0:13:48 > 0:13:50and for somebody like Sophie,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52and for a lot of people, actually,
0:13:52 > 0:13:55it's not even a life choice, really.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It just reflects who they are.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04It was one small step
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Across the street
0:14:06 > 0:14:08But one giant leap into bedsit land
0:14:08 > 0:14:11And very grown up to be moving in
0:14:11 > 0:14:13To be given the keys
0:14:13 > 0:14:14To lift the latch
0:14:14 > 0:14:16To be playing house
0:14:16 > 0:14:18To be lady and lord
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Of our very own place
0:14:19 > 0:14:22In our very own space
0:14:22 > 0:14:24We WERE dreamers
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Asleep
0:14:25 > 0:14:27We were jobless, skint
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Always juggling and having to stint
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Not a penny to our name
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Always struggling to make ends meet
0:14:35 > 0:14:36To eke things out
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Till the end of the week
0:14:38 > 0:14:40To the passer-by
0:14:40 > 0:14:42It was hardly the Ritz
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Nowhere to shout or show off about
0:14:45 > 0:14:50Just some old, cold first-floor flat
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Below the moor
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Above a shop
0:14:55 > 0:14:56But to us
0:14:58 > 0:15:00It was home
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Palace and penthouse
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Fortress and funhouse
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Studio, library all rolled into one.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13We could bolt the door And keep the world out or
0:15:13 > 0:15:19Watch the world as it wandered past In all its glory, beautifully mad
0:15:21 > 0:15:24All the nightshift workers And daylight shirkers
0:15:24 > 0:15:28The mods and rockers And emos and moshers
0:15:28 > 0:15:32And joggers and bikers And slackers and slickers
0:15:32 > 0:15:36All the swimmers and sinkers And grafters and thinkers.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40The fly-posters and bill-stickers The goths and the straights
0:15:40 > 0:15:43And the groovers and ravers.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45The movers and shakers
0:15:45 > 0:15:49The butchers and bakers And candlestick makers.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53All the pissheads and potheads And veggies and vegans
0:15:53 > 0:15:56And coppers and preachers And posties and traders.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59The night-hawks and The dawn-treaders
0:15:59 > 0:16:02The speed-freaks And the metal-merchants
0:16:02 > 0:16:05All the scrimpers and savers The beggars and trailblazers.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10All the chancers and mystics And givers and takers
0:16:10 > 0:16:13And skinheads and suedeheads And non-believers.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17All the tattooed crusties All the crested Mohicans
0:16:17 > 0:16:21All the folkies and rappers And ragamuffins and Rastas
0:16:21 > 0:16:24And clubbers and dubbers And mixers and suited commuters
0:16:24 > 0:16:25And duckers and divers
0:16:25 > 0:16:29And salesmen and truckers And lollipop ladies
0:16:29 > 0:16:32And beatniks and peaceniks And streetkids and skaters
0:16:32 > 0:16:35And hitchers and drivers And runners and riders.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37All the rat-racers All the money servants
0:16:37 > 0:16:38All the dancers and DJs.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41All the trippies and heavies And slackers and hippies
0:16:41 > 0:16:44And hawkers and vendors And takers and lenders
0:16:44 > 0:16:46And the dog-walkers And the dawdlers
0:16:46 > 0:16:49All the late starters And early risers
0:16:49 > 0:16:53All the human race In its crazy parade
0:16:54 > 0:16:56I said: "let them all be."
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I said: "live and let live."
0:17:02 > 0:17:05I said: "breathe and let breathe."
0:17:06 > 0:17:09SHE INHALES DEEPLY
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Sophie and Rob, you know, they were really an old-fashioned couple.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17They were proper old-fashioned.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21They liked to do things as they saw as being proper.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24And I know from when they were at my house,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Rob would sit on the couch and our Soph would sit with her legs over him,
0:17:28 > 0:17:29and that's what they did.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32And they did go out for a drink, they'd go to their mates' houses,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35but they were never big party animals.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36They liked being together.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41And he would paint and our Soph would sit there and read.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46You know, Sophie had...
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Had issues when she were about 14, 15.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53She didn't feel that she belonged and you could see that.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55And she struggled at times.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59You know, probably the 12 months before she died
0:17:59 > 0:18:03she'd just about hit where she should be, who she was.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05She was just coming through all that.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Once she met Rob she saw that...
0:18:12 > 0:18:15..what she was and who she was
0:18:15 > 0:18:18was actually really quite meaningful.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Summer
0:18:24 > 0:18:26August
0:18:26 > 0:18:28The people's month
0:18:28 > 0:18:32Easy, effortless, endless days
0:18:34 > 0:18:38Think of a park in its perfect form
0:18:38 > 0:18:41The Victorian dream
0:18:41 > 0:18:44The tick and tock of a tennis ball
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Friday-night lovers Out for a stroll
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Had we only known
0:18:50 > 0:18:55That this was a place Where shadows waited
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Where wolves ran wild
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Where alcohol poisoned The watering hole.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06They called in at the local garage because they'd no cigarettes.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09And whilst they were at the garage they met up with somebody
0:19:09 > 0:19:13who had met them previously in a pub.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16And whilst they were stood talking
0:19:16 > 0:19:19to these two young men, boys, whatever...
0:19:19 > 0:19:24They were asking Sophie about her retainer in her ear,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26and these two young boys said to
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Sophie and Rob, you know, they were having a laugh,
0:19:29 > 0:19:33and one of these young boys said, "Come and meet my friends."
0:19:33 > 0:19:38So... Although I have to say, one of these boys didn't want to be
0:19:38 > 0:19:41seen with Sophie and Rob because of their appearance, you know.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44They were moshers and, "I don't want anything to do with you."
0:19:45 > 0:19:50So, Sophie and Rob went to meet this group of young people,
0:19:50 > 0:19:54and they were fascinated with their appearance.
0:19:54 > 0:19:59You know, Sophie had on that night a massive big pair of shoes.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03And bearing in mind she were only 5'1", 5'2".
0:20:03 > 0:20:08And she did have her dreadlocks, retainers and she did have...
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Funnily enough, I found them the other day...
0:20:13 > 0:20:1415 piercings.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17But she wasn't dressed outlandishly.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Whatever possessed us
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Led us on
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Figures materialised Out of the black
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Till a group was a gang Was a mob was a pack
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Late
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Dark
0:20:44 > 0:20:47The hours were small The minutes lost
0:20:48 > 0:20:50It was there and then But it's here and now
0:20:50 > 0:20:55Real, actual Won't go away
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Keeps happening over and over again
0:20:59 > 0:21:00In no time at all
0:21:02 > 0:21:06An alarm bell chimes The barometer swings
0:21:06 > 0:21:09The mercury climbs The hour-glass flips
0:21:09 > 0:21:11The galaxy tilts
0:21:11 > 0:21:14The needle swerves violently Into the red
0:21:14 > 0:21:17In an atmosphere of menace and threat
0:21:17 > 0:21:19In an aftershave of dope and booze
0:21:19 > 0:21:22And testosterone and pent-up hate
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Have we said the wrong word?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Have we made the wrong turn?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Have we strayed from our path?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Have we stepped on their patch?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Do they find offence At the studs in my lips
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Or the rings in my ear?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Are they morally outraged By what we wear?
0:21:49 > 0:21:54We are kindly creatures Peaceful souls
0:21:55 > 0:21:58But something of our lives Aggravates theirs
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Something in their lives Despises ours
0:22:03 > 0:22:06The difference between us Is what they can't stand
0:22:08 > 0:22:10And so the blows rain in
0:22:12 > 0:22:16With that level of fury That needs to hurt
0:22:16 > 0:22:17That depth of anger
0:22:17 > 0:22:20That goes for the face That desires to maim
0:22:22 > 0:22:27And when they've finished Knocking the stuffing out of my man
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Kicking his skull For all they're worth
0:22:30 > 0:22:34And I nurse his broken head On my knee
0:22:34 > 0:22:36One turns on me
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Oh, God
0:22:38 > 0:22:41He comes back and he turns on me
0:22:43 > 0:22:46A plague of fists or a swarm of feet
0:22:46 > 0:22:49The boot coming in again and again.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56How he hates my demeanour Hates my braids
0:22:56 > 0:23:00How he hates my manner Hates my ways
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Doesn't know me from Adam Not even my name
0:23:04 > 0:23:06But detests every atom Of what I am
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Nothing I scream for Will make it end
0:23:13 > 0:23:15He will kick
0:23:15 > 0:23:17And will kick
0:23:17 > 0:23:20And will kick
0:23:20 > 0:23:21And will kick
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Till the living daylight Flies away.
0:23:31 > 0:23:37And from what I can gather, five boys walked into the park.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42Were only there a couple of minutes, and said, "Let's bang the moshers."
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Five of them attacked Rob.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Got him on the floor and were kicking his head.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53This is were it gets a bit murky, I've got to be honest,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56because where is Sophie?
0:23:56 > 0:24:01Nobody seems to see where she is. What's gone on there?
0:24:02 > 0:24:05- We know because of... - SHE SIGHS
0:24:05 > 0:24:06I don't know.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Conversations with the police, with the five attackers,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11this is what he said,
0:24:11 > 0:24:17that Sophie were on her hands and knees, cradling Rob's head,
0:24:17 > 0:24:19shouting at them,
0:24:19 > 0:24:23and then Ryan Herbert is supposedly have said,
0:24:23 > 0:24:27"Oh, God, she's a witness. I'll go back and do her."
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I don't believe that.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I don't believe that in a million years.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33How come - and I'll say this to my dying day -
0:24:33 > 0:24:37how come five of them's attacked Rob?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40You're telling me that one of them's attacked her?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42He didn't do that on his own, that's ridiculous.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49There were young people in the park that night that tried to help them.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53They did give them first aid. They did call the ambulance service.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57But bear in mind we've got three ambulance calls
0:24:57 > 0:25:00and those calls took 17 minutes.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04And you can hear - you can hear in the background of that 999 phone call,
0:25:04 > 0:25:06you can hear the attack taking place.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08You can also hear Rob coming round.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14That attack did not take over 17 minutes on Rob.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Where were Sophie?
0:25:17 > 0:25:21She's... She's lost somewhere along the line.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Which is the truth, and which isn't...
0:25:25 > 0:25:28I don't know, I don't think we'll ever know, either.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35On my hands and knees I crawl
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Some way, then fall, then curl
0:25:40 > 0:25:43This is pain beyond pain
0:25:46 > 0:25:48I am seeing stars
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I watch planets wheel
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I watch heavens whirl
0:25:57 > 0:25:59I hear sirens wail
0:26:04 > 0:26:07And of all the people to have been attacked, for God's sake,
0:26:07 > 0:26:12there's this little, gentle, kind girl, and Rob, God love him.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19Our Adam turned up, and then the police turned up as well.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22And they were telling me about where they'd been that night, and I couldn't,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25and I can't to this day, get my head round
0:26:25 > 0:26:29what on earth made them go in that park that night.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Questioning me about Sophie and their lifestyle.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Did they do drugs? What?! No, they did not. You know.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38And I can understand what they were doing.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41They've got to build a picture up of these two young people.
0:26:41 > 0:26:47And then he says to me, "You know, she's at Fairfield."
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Rob was at North Manchester, Sophie was in Fairfield.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53"You can go and see her now.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57"Her dad's with her. But I have to say to you that
0:26:57 > 0:27:02"when the ambulance men picked them up, they couldn't tell
0:27:02 > 0:27:05"which was the male and which was the female, because she's swollen."
0:27:09 > 0:27:13I am dead but alive
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Alive but dead
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Ghosting somewhere in between
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Cushioned and wrapped in Hospital pillows and hospital sheets
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Blanketed under fluorescent light
0:27:26 > 0:27:29A Medusa of drips and tubes and leads
0:27:29 > 0:27:33And clotted braids And tangled beads
0:27:33 > 0:27:35And jigsaw shapes of naked scalp
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Where clumps of my hair Were kicked clean out
0:27:40 > 0:27:42The police can't believe this necklace is mine -
0:27:42 > 0:27:47Too ladylike, too feminine
0:27:49 > 0:27:51And Mum can't see
0:27:51 > 0:27:54That somewhere inside
0:27:54 > 0:27:59This swollen, bloodshot
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Abstract mess
0:28:02 > 0:28:07Is my heart-shaped face And swan-like neck
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Black roses that bloom On my arms and legs
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Are the bitter bruises Of self-defence
0:28:14 > 0:28:16I am traumatised
0:28:19 > 0:28:21I am compromised
0:28:23 > 0:28:25I am deeply distressed
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I am sorely defaced.
0:28:36 > 0:28:43We walked in, and you see this...girl,
0:28:43 > 0:28:46who's got the tiniest of faces. Absolutely stunning face.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50It was like a football.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52It was absolutely massive, her whole head.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Her face, her head, everything.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00And her dad was sat there holding her hand and, um...
0:29:00 > 0:29:02I don't know who... I don't know who cried the most.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07She'd two black eyes, and she'd marks
0:29:07 > 0:29:10on her face that were trainer marks.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13You could see them as clear as day.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17Even the diamond shapes on both sides of her face.
0:29:17 > 0:29:22She'd even got a little tiny star.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24And that were from the laces on the trainers.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Now, you're telling me - how much force must they have used to do that?
0:29:28 > 0:29:33Her ears... Her ears were big, black and puffy
0:29:33 > 0:29:35and there were yellow marks...
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Her neck.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40God. Her neck.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44You know, she had a lovely, long, very elegant neck, like a swan,
0:29:44 > 0:29:46and I used to say that to her.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49And her neck, God love her, it were black on both sides.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51It were horrible, horrible, horrible.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53At the back where'd they'd kicked her,
0:29:53 > 0:29:56they'd yanked part of the skin off her head, and it looked like
0:29:56 > 0:29:57they'd pulled her hair out,
0:29:57 > 0:30:00and bearing in mind she had dreadlocks, you know...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03She'd defence marks, on both her arms
0:30:03 > 0:30:05where she'd obviously curled up in a ball.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08She'd marks on her legs where, when they'd kicked her,
0:30:08 > 0:30:09she'd moved across the floor.
0:30:09 > 0:30:10But all the marks,
0:30:10 > 0:30:12everything they did to her, were on her face.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17That was, sort of, the Saturday.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Fully expected her to live.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24Fully expected her to come round - probably, you know, within 24 hours.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27That's what the nurses said - "This is what usually happens."
0:30:27 > 0:30:33So me and Adam and Sophie's dad, John, went home that night
0:30:33 > 0:30:35and er...got up early Sunday morning,
0:30:35 > 0:30:37rang the hospital obviously,
0:30:37 > 0:30:39and said "Right, I'm on my way. Do I need to bring anything?"
0:30:39 > 0:30:42And she said, "Oh, yes, bring her some pyjamas
0:30:42 > 0:30:44"and bring her some toiletries for when she comes round.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46"We're going to take her off the machines later."
0:30:46 > 0:30:49So I called in and I got her some new jimmys
0:30:49 > 0:30:52and I got her a lovely new toiletry bag...
0:30:52 > 0:30:54SHE SOBS
0:31:02 > 0:31:05And I got her stuff.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08And I thought, "She'll love that."
0:31:10 > 0:31:12I took it to the hospital. There was only me there.
0:31:20 > 0:31:21And I'm sorry, Mum
0:31:24 > 0:31:25For making such a fuss
0:31:28 > 0:31:29To be centre-stage
0:31:32 > 0:31:34Sorry to twitch
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Sorry to mumble and make no sense
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Sorry to sweat
0:31:44 > 0:31:46Sorry to vomit and arch my back
0:31:47 > 0:31:50Sorry you have to see me like this
0:31:52 > 0:31:53Purple and blue
0:31:54 > 0:31:57Branded and stamped all around my head
0:31:57 > 0:32:00With the logo and tread of a training shoe
0:32:05 > 0:32:07I can't find my form
0:32:10 > 0:32:12I can't breathe on my own
0:32:14 > 0:32:17I can't move my mouth to say how I feel
0:32:20 > 0:32:23I can't help my feet when they clench into claws
0:32:25 > 0:32:28I can't help my legs and arms when they thrash
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Can't help my eyes when they roll and track
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Can anyone say if I'm coming back?
0:32:51 > 0:32:56They, um...decided to try and take her off the machines
0:32:56 > 0:32:59because she'd been in a coma for 24 hours
0:32:59 > 0:33:02and...she was sick.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Vomited all over the place.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08But it wasn't that that was interesting, it was her movements with her hands.
0:33:08 > 0:33:14I knew, I thought, you know... "There's...something wrong."
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Heart monitor going up and down, up and down.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20And...she'd be sweating and they'd sponge her down,
0:33:20 > 0:33:22and then they'd have to wrap her up
0:33:22 > 0:33:25because she'd be ice-cold in this foil - it were just...
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Her legs were going, she was having epileptic fits,
0:33:29 > 0:33:31constant fits.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33And the noise - oh...
0:33:33 > 0:33:38The noise she were making were like...a cow, lowing,
0:33:38 > 0:33:40I can't describe.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42It were...loud, really loud,
0:33:42 > 0:33:45like...oh, it were horrible.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48And she were mumbling, actually, mumbling to herself,
0:33:48 > 0:33:51"No, no...no...no."
0:33:52 > 0:33:55Well, the nurses, you could see there were a bit of panic here,
0:33:55 > 0:33:57"Oh, my God, put her back on."
0:33:57 > 0:33:59So they put her back to the machines
0:33:59 > 0:34:01and I'm sort of stood there,
0:34:01 > 0:34:03thinking, "Oh, my God, what is going on?"
0:34:03 > 0:34:07And they're saying to me, "Oh, no, she'll be fine,
0:34:07 > 0:34:08"it's just not what we expected.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11"She probably just needs another 24 hours.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14"We'll try her again tomorrow."
0:34:14 > 0:34:17But by this stage, I didn't want to be here.
0:34:17 > 0:34:21I'm proper scared...scared by then,
0:34:21 > 0:34:24I thought, "I don't want to be here."
0:34:24 > 0:34:28So I left Sophie, and John stayed with her,
0:34:28 > 0:34:31and I went up to North Manchester to go and see Rob.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36So that's how it stood, then - we'd two of them in hospital,
0:34:36 > 0:34:38both of them still on the machines.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41So I went home that night
0:34:41 > 0:34:44and, um...I think I lasted about a couple of hours,
0:34:44 > 0:34:47I think, while I were at home - I thought, "I can't...
0:34:47 > 0:34:50"I got to do something." You know - pacing about.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52I thought, "I can't sit down, I can't watch TV.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54"I can't do anything."
0:35:06 > 0:35:07How distant I am
0:35:09 > 0:35:10How far away
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Am I not myself?
0:35:16 > 0:35:17Am I still of this world?
0:35:21 > 0:35:23I am critical
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Grave
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Beginning to fade
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Weakening
0:35:31 > 0:35:33Faint
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Losing hold
0:35:35 > 0:35:36Slipping below.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58And then, funnily enough...yeah, I woke up, and I thought,
0:35:58 > 0:36:00"I'm going to ring the hospital."
0:36:00 > 0:36:02It'd be about four o'clock, I think.
0:36:02 > 0:36:07And I rang, and as I rang, the doctor answered
0:36:07 > 0:36:10and he said, "Oh, Mrs Lancaster, I were just going to ring you.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12"I think you'd better come down.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16"She's, uh...taken a turn for the worse, she's gravely ill."
0:36:18 > 0:36:20So we all set off, and...
0:36:21 > 0:36:23It was horrible, horrible -
0:36:23 > 0:36:27there was blood all over the floor, she'd had a massive heart attack.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31But they did say, "As soon she starts to rally a little bit,
0:36:31 > 0:36:34"we're going to take her down and get her brain scan done
0:36:34 > 0:36:37"because, you know, there's summat...not right."
0:36:39 > 0:36:42So they took her down, and I came back on to the ward
0:36:42 > 0:36:44as they were bringing her back up.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49And the nurse, she were in floods of tears
0:36:49 > 0:36:52and I knew then, you know, I thought, "Oh, God."
0:36:52 > 0:36:54I knew then, you know, "That's it."
0:36:56 > 0:36:58And what they said was that they'd done a brain scan
0:36:58 > 0:37:01and...basically she'd no brain left.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03It were just...dead.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07They would turn the machines off on the Friday
0:37:07 > 0:37:11and they would do the brain stem test.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Do I even know that my man survived
0:37:24 > 0:37:28Whose handsome head I cradled and kissed
0:37:28 > 0:37:32While they beat him with names and stoned him with kicks
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Whose innocent face I tried to shield
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Whose life I wrapped and held with my own?
0:37:50 > 0:37:54Well, Rob, they tried to take him off again on the Monday.
0:37:54 > 0:37:58And he came off and he was awake.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02And he says he remembers, you know, um...seeing his mum and dad there.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Robert
0:38:09 > 0:38:10Rob
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Don't think me cold or impolite
0:38:16 > 0:38:18If I don't respond when you say goodbye
0:38:20 > 0:38:24If I lie here unmoved when they wheel you in
0:38:24 > 0:38:26In stitches and pins for a final time
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Body broken, spirit dimmed
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Mother
0:38:38 > 0:38:39Mum
0:38:42 > 0:38:43Don't think me rude
0:38:43 > 0:38:46If my eyes don't light up at my favourite things
0:38:47 > 0:38:49At these new pyjamas
0:38:49 > 0:38:51This toiletry bag
0:38:53 > 0:38:54But I'm losing ground
0:38:56 > 0:38:57Slipping back
0:38:59 > 0:39:01When you loosen my clothes
0:39:01 > 0:39:04Please don't be fooled by the hidden tattoos
0:39:04 > 0:39:07And the studs and rings in intimate folds
0:39:07 > 0:39:10And the woman's body I've secretly grown
0:39:11 > 0:39:14Because under this skin
0:39:14 > 0:39:18I'm your helpless daughter all over again
0:39:18 > 0:39:20Your little dot
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Your baby girl
0:39:25 > 0:39:28As you did then, do again now
0:39:29 > 0:39:33Mop my brow as you mopped my brow
0:39:33 > 0:39:38Climb in my bed as you climbed in my bed
0:39:38 > 0:39:40Lay at my side as you laid at my side
0:39:42 > 0:39:44As you kissed my ear
0:39:44 > 0:39:48As you wiped my mouth
0:39:48 > 0:39:51As you soothed me to sleep
0:39:51 > 0:39:54As you washed me down
0:39:54 > 0:39:57As you bathed my breast
0:39:57 > 0:39:59As you put me to rest
0:40:08 > 0:40:09Night follows day
0:40:11 > 0:40:13Day becomes night
0:40:15 > 0:40:18I am sunken
0:40:18 > 0:40:20Deep
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Elsewhere
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Vacant
0:40:25 > 0:40:26Out of reach
0:40:29 > 0:40:32They have scanned and searched for vital signs
0:40:34 > 0:40:36But I'm hardly a pulse
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Barely a breath
0:40:41 > 0:40:43A thread
0:40:43 > 0:40:45A trace
0:40:45 > 0:40:47A past
0:40:47 > 0:40:49A waste.
0:40:55 > 0:40:56And, um...
0:40:56 > 0:41:00Then on the Friday morning, they, um...took her off.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Was going to do the brain...stem things.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07And then they take you into a room,
0:41:07 > 0:41:10and they say, "I'm really sorry, Mrs Lancaster,
0:41:10 > 0:41:11"but there's...nothing there.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14"We're going to turn the machines off."
0:41:16 > 0:41:19And they then screen, obviously, you know, the bed off
0:41:19 > 0:41:22and take the machines off.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24And, um...we stayed with her, obviously.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27And, uh...it took her about 20 minutes to die.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31And I lay down with her.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35And I held her in my arms until she died.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41It's a horrible, horrible thing.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47She's just so little, this tiny thing.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53Well, by then, I'd had enough.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57I just wanted to come home, leave her, and just come home.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59And, er...
0:41:59 > 0:42:02Our Adam, bless him, came back and sat with her.
0:42:02 > 0:42:03But I couldn't.
0:42:05 > 0:42:06I just wanted to go home.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15The line on the screen goes long and flat
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Pull the curtains round
0:42:24 > 0:42:26Call the angels down
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Now let me go
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Now carry me home
0:42:38 > 0:42:41Now make this known.